I woke up Monday morning wondering how I was going to get out of bed...and once I managed that, walking was near impossible. I found my heating pad and muscle relaxants and went back to bed. By evening I managed a shower. Yesterday was much better, and today better still...for that I am very thankful.
Master and I met today for maintenance. I am leaving tomorrow to spend a few days with both grand daughters and their parents at Sesame Street World...talk about fun! Since I am trying to be careful of my back, Master decided to eliminate kneeling time, and maintenance consisted of a short hand spanking, and a little play time, and of course His repeating to me that I am always His, and His expectations follow me ..even when I am in the company of Elmo and Big Bird!
I have been thinking about writing an entry on changes for a while now...PK over at "New Beginnings" recently wrote about changes in her life, so I decided to stop thinking and get writing.
A few months ago, after a fairly intense session, I thanked Master for changing me, He replied, without hesitation, He had not changed me. He had helped me to grow and discover the "me" that was always there. It was not an answer I expected, so I kept quiet and thought about it. I really think this is a case where we are both right...yes, He certainly has made it possible for me to dig deep and discover a me, that might never have seen the light of day. He positively has helped me to grow. But that growth and discovery have led to major changes...so I guess we are both right. I do recognize that in case of a tie...Master always wins!!!
What changes? One that is obvious to everyone, the physical change. I have lost 60 pounds! It's hard to believe I can even say that. I know I will not re-gain them. I still have more to go, but 60 pounds is truly amazing to me.
Secondly, acceptance of who I am. A very long time ago, a gentleman I was corresponding with, referred to me as a submissive. I laughed and vehemently denied it. NO WAY...NOT ME. Master and I had known each other for 2 years, before that word came up again. Master led me down the road to acceptance slowly, always making me feel safe and accepted.
Sexually Master has brought me to a whole new world. Multiple oragasm are the norm, and my body...no matter what the weight....is nothing to be ashamed of. I am a sexual being, I should relish and enjoy that, it is a good thing. I figure that the multiple orgasms are helping me to make up on all the ones I missed before Master!
Looking at a bigger picure of me, Master has helped me to become a calmer more open person. He has taught me to relax and enjoy, without having to be the one in charge. He is always willing to listen and help me come to a decision, reassuring me that I am not going crazy. Over the years, I had constructed lots of very strong and large walls. They are coming down, something I was sure would never happen. Pieces of them are still there, but those walls are more fragile with lots of cracks in them...I did not think anyone could do that. I can now ask for help, and not be embarrassed.
Positive changes, some of which I never thought possible. Overall , I am calmer, more positive, open, sexual and content. Those changes make me believe that I am a very lucky submissive indeed!
abby
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Maintenance....on a still tender bottom
...I returned home after my punishment on Tuesday with a very sore bottom. It is rare for me to still be sore the day after, tender maybe but not sore. Tuesday nite I thought of Master each and every time I rolled over, and sitting on Wednesday, made me catch my breath. I texted Master when I first woke up on Wednesday, telling Him about my nite....His reply was,...good!!..which was what I expected. To my surprise, the same thing happened Wednesday nite, and all day Wednesday sitting was not a happy time. Two days after a spanking and still sore...Master had outdone Himself.
On Wednesday morning when I texted Master to tell Him I was still very sore, His reply was....and you still have maintenance for this week. Honestly, for the first time since we started maintenance..a little more than a year...the word had not even crossed my mind. When we talked later in the day, I asked if we could wait until Friday, He does not like to wait until Friday, so He said maybe.
We did wait until today, my bottom is still tender, but not as sore. We started with hugs and some kneeling time, which is really shutting out the whole rest of the world time...and I have started to really look forward to that time. Master also reminded me, that no matter what other spankings I get during the week, maintenance will still happen. During this time, Master had me put my head down, bottom up, so He could examine the marks on my bottom. They are still there, a little faded. The ones on my breasts and thighs are just about gone.
Then it was over Master's lap for the spanking. Master reminded me that to be effective maintenance has to be a serious spanking. I was very happy to feel Him start off with His hand. It was a long and hard hand spanking, and rekindled the fire in my bottom, knowing I was still very tender, the spanking ended with just His hand.
Then came a little discussion. One of my more recent rules, is that I need Master's permission before I make the final plans for a trip. For a couple years now, I have had to ask for permission to go any place from home. I was a little hesistant about this rule, but it turns out to be not nearly as restrictive as it sounds. Master is very good at answering a text, and the asking really reminds me that I am His submissive.
A few months ago, Master decided He wanted me to start asking for permission for all trips. Although I know that Master does not say no just fo the sake of saying no, I was very hesistant about this. He simply wants to know when I will leave and return, and where I will be. He also would like me to limit time away to 1 week. So far it has not caused a problem, although I still am uncomfortable with the asking.
When I returned from my recent trip to Boston, Master asked when the next trip was....and I started right in telling Him we were all...both granddaughters and moms and dads...going to Sesame Street Place for a weekend in May. As I was telling Him about the plans, I realized He was quiet....til He said, You told them you would go and the plans are all set, and this is the first time I hear about it. GULP Sooo....I quickly asked if I could go and explained that we had talked about it, and since it was just a weekend I figured it was not a problem. I kept saying to Master, but it is just a weekend, and He kept saying, You made plans without asking for permission. He also pointed out that this is a "want to, and not a have to" trip. So Master said we would discuss it again later.
Well, the trip is next weekend, and I have been good and not mentioned it again. But today I had to ask again. The plan is to leave Thursday afternoon, got to my daughter's, and on Friday we would all meet up at Sesame Place. Master said I could go, but He wanted me to wait til Friday to leave, as my punishment for not asking before planning. I told Him that I would have to leave between 3 and 4 in the morning to make it to Sesame Place by 10....and that my daughter who lives here was coming with me. Master said, since my daughter was coming along, I could leave on Thursday, but that I would find out that there might be worse things than getting up at 3 AM....He is going to let me know what that is next week...I may be travelling with a very sore bottom, or a filled on. "You will learn to ask before planning", is an exact quote...and I guess I will. As I thought about this, I have come to realize to...just a weekend...is not a good excuse. It could be just and overnight, and I would still need to ask.
abby
On Wednesday morning when I texted Master to tell Him I was still very sore, His reply was....and you still have maintenance for this week. Honestly, for the first time since we started maintenance..a little more than a year...the word had not even crossed my mind. When we talked later in the day, I asked if we could wait until Friday, He does not like to wait until Friday, so He said maybe.
We did wait until today, my bottom is still tender, but not as sore. We started with hugs and some kneeling time, which is really shutting out the whole rest of the world time...and I have started to really look forward to that time. Master also reminded me, that no matter what other spankings I get during the week, maintenance will still happen. During this time, Master had me put my head down, bottom up, so He could examine the marks on my bottom. They are still there, a little faded. The ones on my breasts and thighs are just about gone.
Then it was over Master's lap for the spanking. Master reminded me that to be effective maintenance has to be a serious spanking. I was very happy to feel Him start off with His hand. It was a long and hard hand spanking, and rekindled the fire in my bottom, knowing I was still very tender, the spanking ended with just His hand.
Then came a little discussion. One of my more recent rules, is that I need Master's permission before I make the final plans for a trip. For a couple years now, I have had to ask for permission to go any place from home. I was a little hesistant about this rule, but it turns out to be not nearly as restrictive as it sounds. Master is very good at answering a text, and the asking really reminds me that I am His submissive.
A few months ago, Master decided He wanted me to start asking for permission for all trips. Although I know that Master does not say no just fo the sake of saying no, I was very hesistant about this. He simply wants to know when I will leave and return, and where I will be. He also would like me to limit time away to 1 week. So far it has not caused a problem, although I still am uncomfortable with the asking.
When I returned from my recent trip to Boston, Master asked when the next trip was....and I started right in telling Him we were all...both granddaughters and moms and dads...going to Sesame Street Place for a weekend in May. As I was telling Him about the plans, I realized He was quiet....til He said, You told them you would go and the plans are all set, and this is the first time I hear about it. GULP Sooo....I quickly asked if I could go and explained that we had talked about it, and since it was just a weekend I figured it was not a problem. I kept saying to Master, but it is just a weekend, and He kept saying, You made plans without asking for permission. He also pointed out that this is a "want to, and not a have to" trip. So Master said we would discuss it again later.
Well, the trip is next weekend, and I have been good and not mentioned it again. But today I had to ask again. The plan is to leave Thursday afternoon, got to my daughter's, and on Friday we would all meet up at Sesame Place. Master said I could go, but He wanted me to wait til Friday to leave, as my punishment for not asking before planning. I told Him that I would have to leave between 3 and 4 in the morning to make it to Sesame Place by 10....and that my daughter who lives here was coming with me. Master said, since my daughter was coming along, I could leave on Thursday, but that I would find out that there might be worse things than getting up at 3 AM....He is going to let me know what that is next week...I may be travelling with a very sore bottom, or a filled on. "You will learn to ask before planning", is an exact quote...and I guess I will. As I thought about this, I have come to realize to...just a weekend...is not a good excuse. It could be just and overnight, and I would still need to ask.
abby
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Re-set!
Master re-set me this afternoon...that's His word for it. I am sitting here stripes on my thighs, my breast, and of course my bottom...a bottom that is still burning.
My weigh-in last Friday was a 1 pound lost...I was happy, but even more surprised! I had those munchies and chocolate cravings all week, I got a mixed basket of Godiva from one granddaughter and a whoopie pie package from the other. I had not sent in a daily report, since I was "indulging". A 1 pound lost was almost a miracle, I should have thanked the diet gods and got back on track.
I had a girls' nite out on Saturday, we saw a show, went out to dinner, then to a house for chocolate martinis and munchies. Sunday was mother's day...enough said.
The diet gods left me to my own fate, and I gained 2 pounds on Monday.
So, today was my day of reckoning, I got re-set.
After my welcoming hug, Master commented on how quiet I was. I replied that I was not in the mood to be spanked. "You are in for more than a spanking,"....I replied that "I am even less in a mood for that." My mood was noted, then ignored.
After some kneeling time, Master announced that I would be getting a hand warm-up, and then a long caning...good news/bad news.
Master sat on an ottoman as I went over His lap, He wanted my hands and feet on the ground. The warm-up was long and harder as it continued. It also served to relax me and change my mood. I knew the warm up was a gift, since I rarely get one before a punishment, and this was a very thorough one.
I was then told to put my hands on the ottoman, stick my bottom out, and spread my legs. There is no gentle way to start a caning. (or continue one or finish one.) Master was striping me in sets of 6. I am not sure how many sets, I was busy breathing and staying in position. I did not want Him to have to start over! I felt Him tap my thighs and a "no" came out of me.
Master had me stand, and asked me....what part of You belongs to Me. The only answer to that question is all of me , Sir. My thighs were His target, 4 quick ones. He then told me to stretch my arms in front of me, palms up, and used the cane on my palms. I pulled them away, He told me to put them back, and I did for one more swish of the cane. I moved them away, but quickly put them back without being told.
Master then told me to present my breast to Him. I hesitated, He repeated. I held them up, a little. I was told to push them together and stretch them out. I did and closed my eyes, I had never been caned on my breast, and I am not fond of any breast play. Master gave me 4 strokes of the cane, and I survived. He then asked the question again, what part of me belongs to Him. Without any hesitation, I gave Him the correct reply.
I was then told to kneel down. I did, in position, eyes closed. I heard Master tell me to open my eyes, He was kneeling in front of me. After some gentle touching and caressing I was calm, and so sure that I am His, that all I want is to please this special man. He then asked me if I was happy with where I was or if I wanted to try for more. I gave it a little thought, I knew that He would accept any answer I decided on. I said that I was happier with myself than I was when we first started, but yes, I would love to lose more. Master said give me 10 more pounds, and really give it your all. No going backwards, no waffling, just do it, and then You will stay put for a while. I agreed, and then He said it was time to finish my caning.
Words I did not want to hear. You know what that means, He continued, I nodded....these would be the hardest ones. He told me to get back over the ottoman, I hesitated for a minute, He said no hesitation, I do not like hesitation. Over the ottoman I went, trying to prepare myself.
The first 6 had me hanging on, and panting and ouching very loudly. Then the next 5 and just as I was feeling a small sense of relief, I felt the cane on my thighs. Master asked, should the last one be here. I replied No Sir, but it was not the answer He was looking for. Any place You want Sir, was the correct answer, one I finally said. He tapped my thighs and pulled back, I was holding my breath, this was bound to be the hardest one yet, and He swung at... my bottom, and not any harder than the others had been....not that they were not hard enough. I quickly spit out a Thank You Sir.
I got up to hugs. Master then told me to get over His lap. I quickly complied. He said, no hesitation, that is what I always want, no thinking, just acting. You can think after You do what I say. After some rubbing and quiet chatting Master had me get up. I do not get to cum after a punishment, or now a re-setting. After more hugs, I got reading to leave. I left a much calmer, submissive, satisfied "young lady".
abby
My weigh-in last Friday was a 1 pound lost...I was happy, but even more surprised! I had those munchies and chocolate cravings all week, I got a mixed basket of Godiva from one granddaughter and a whoopie pie package from the other. I had not sent in a daily report, since I was "indulging". A 1 pound lost was almost a miracle, I should have thanked the diet gods and got back on track.
I had a girls' nite out on Saturday, we saw a show, went out to dinner, then to a house for chocolate martinis and munchies. Sunday was mother's day...enough said.
The diet gods left me to my own fate, and I gained 2 pounds on Monday.
So, today was my day of reckoning, I got re-set.
After my welcoming hug, Master commented on how quiet I was. I replied that I was not in the mood to be spanked. "You are in for more than a spanking,"....I replied that "I am even less in a mood for that." My mood was noted, then ignored.
After some kneeling time, Master announced that I would be getting a hand warm-up, and then a long caning...good news/bad news.
Master sat on an ottoman as I went over His lap, He wanted my hands and feet on the ground. The warm-up was long and harder as it continued. It also served to relax me and change my mood. I knew the warm up was a gift, since I rarely get one before a punishment, and this was a very thorough one.
I was then told to put my hands on the ottoman, stick my bottom out, and spread my legs. There is no gentle way to start a caning. (or continue one or finish one.) Master was striping me in sets of 6. I am not sure how many sets, I was busy breathing and staying in position. I did not want Him to have to start over! I felt Him tap my thighs and a "no" came out of me.
Master had me stand, and asked me....what part of You belongs to Me. The only answer to that question is all of me , Sir. My thighs were His target, 4 quick ones. He then told me to stretch my arms in front of me, palms up, and used the cane on my palms. I pulled them away, He told me to put them back, and I did for one more swish of the cane. I moved them away, but quickly put them back without being told.
Master then told me to present my breast to Him. I hesitated, He repeated. I held them up, a little. I was told to push them together and stretch them out. I did and closed my eyes, I had never been caned on my breast, and I am not fond of any breast play. Master gave me 4 strokes of the cane, and I survived. He then asked the question again, what part of me belongs to Him. Without any hesitation, I gave Him the correct reply.
I was then told to kneel down. I did, in position, eyes closed. I heard Master tell me to open my eyes, He was kneeling in front of me. After some gentle touching and caressing I was calm, and so sure that I am His, that all I want is to please this special man. He then asked me if I was happy with where I was or if I wanted to try for more. I gave it a little thought, I knew that He would accept any answer I decided on. I said that I was happier with myself than I was when we first started, but yes, I would love to lose more. Master said give me 10 more pounds, and really give it your all. No going backwards, no waffling, just do it, and then You will stay put for a while. I agreed, and then He said it was time to finish my caning.
Words I did not want to hear. You know what that means, He continued, I nodded....these would be the hardest ones. He told me to get back over the ottoman, I hesitated for a minute, He said no hesitation, I do not like hesitation. Over the ottoman I went, trying to prepare myself.
The first 6 had me hanging on, and panting and ouching very loudly. Then the next 5 and just as I was feeling a small sense of relief, I felt the cane on my thighs. Master asked, should the last one be here. I replied No Sir, but it was not the answer He was looking for. Any place You want Sir, was the correct answer, one I finally said. He tapped my thighs and pulled back, I was holding my breath, this was bound to be the hardest one yet, and He swung at... my bottom, and not any harder than the others had been....not that they were not hard enough. I quickly spit out a Thank You Sir.
I got up to hugs. Master then told me to get over His lap. I quickly complied. He said, no hesitation, that is what I always want, no thinking, just acting. You can think after You do what I say. After some rubbing and quiet chatting Master had me get up. I do not get to cum after a punishment, or now a re-setting. After more hugs, I got reading to leave. I left a much calmer, submissive, satisfied "young lady".
abby
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
Just a quick note..Hope all of you mom's and caregivers and grandmoms had a wonderfuf day! I skyped with my beautiful granddaughters, and had a day that was very nice! (and no rain , just sunshine!)
abby
abby
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
a task for tonite..and some advice, please?
My sneezings last Friday, turned into a full blown cold and sinus thing. The weekend was a total loss, on Monday I started to feel human, better yesterday, and much better today. Now if it only could stop raining!
After I had assured Master this morning that I was feeling much better, He declared it maintenance day. Actually He mentioned it yesterday, but I really did not want to be spanked, sort of a first for me, but as much as I had dreamed of maintenance, and yes, it is a good thing for me/Us, it is not always something to look forward to. We talked about that a bit today, Master remimded me that it has greatly reduced the number of major punishment sessions, and does keep those naughty little voices at bay. I know all that, but it still hurts!
Much to my surprise,and He does like to keep me guessing, I was told to lean over the arm of the sofa, bottom up and out, legs spread. It was going to be belt day, with no warm-up. Leather is usually a good thing, but no warm up is not. He started right in, with His belt doubled. After the first few I started to rise, but was reminded not to, that this spanking was not optional, and He was going to use the belt. After a few more, with me really ouching, He decided to try not to have the belt doubled...wow, be careful what you ask for! I found that to be much worse, so after a few more Master went back to the doubled belt. I guess that is His was of not being mean.
I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but eventually I heard 12 more. That is both a relief and a warning. I now know how many before the end, which helps me, but I also know they will be the hardest yet. When I started to whine, Master rubbed my thighs...I took the hint and stuck my bottom out further. I survived the 12 (actually I only counted 11, but did not question Master's math! (;
Master then started to rub and commented on how hot my bottom was...really??? After some rubbing, and touching, and proding, He invited me to go over His lap, no whining now! After more rubbing and touching and finding all the rights spots, I hear...I wonder if I could get you to ask for 12 more of the belt, to earn an orgasm. I have no doubt He would do such a thing, so I was in a slight panic, begging to have permission to cum. After more teasing, Master asked if I was ready to ask for the belt, when I shoke my head no, He nicely and gaciouly and wonderfully allowed me to cum. (Thank You Master!)
Master then said that my bottom had cooled off a little, the rest of me was sweating! He started to hand spank me. As He continued, He asked if I would cum just from His spanking me....I used to think "no way"..."impossible"...but it has happened a couple times lately, so I relaxed, asked for some harder spanks and it happened, I will never understand it, but maybe just enjoying it is enough.
Master then gave me a task for tonite, I was to take out my biggest toy and fuck myself hard with it for 5 minutes, then cum for Him. I have completed that task, but I only own 1 vibrator, and it is a very small one. I think it is time to move up, so to speak. I am going to ask Master if I may purchase at least one more...and I need suggestions. Please help me with any suggestions as to what works well for you! Thanks!
abby
After I had assured Master this morning that I was feeling much better, He declared it maintenance day. Actually He mentioned it yesterday, but I really did not want to be spanked, sort of a first for me, but as much as I had dreamed of maintenance, and yes, it is a good thing for me/Us, it is not always something to look forward to. We talked about that a bit today, Master remimded me that it has greatly reduced the number of major punishment sessions, and does keep those naughty little voices at bay. I know all that, but it still hurts!
Much to my surprise,and He does like to keep me guessing, I was told to lean over the arm of the sofa, bottom up and out, legs spread. It was going to be belt day, with no warm-up. Leather is usually a good thing, but no warm up is not. He started right in, with His belt doubled. After the first few I started to rise, but was reminded not to, that this spanking was not optional, and He was going to use the belt. After a few more, with me really ouching, He decided to try not to have the belt doubled...wow, be careful what you ask for! I found that to be much worse, so after a few more Master went back to the doubled belt. I guess that is His was of not being mean.
I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but eventually I heard 12 more. That is both a relief and a warning. I now know how many before the end, which helps me, but I also know they will be the hardest yet. When I started to whine, Master rubbed my thighs...I took the hint and stuck my bottom out further. I survived the 12 (actually I only counted 11, but did not question Master's math! (;
Master then started to rub and commented on how hot my bottom was...really??? After some rubbing, and touching, and proding, He invited me to go over His lap, no whining now! After more rubbing and touching and finding all the rights spots, I hear...I wonder if I could get you to ask for 12 more of the belt, to earn an orgasm. I have no doubt He would do such a thing, so I was in a slight panic, begging to have permission to cum. After more teasing, Master asked if I was ready to ask for the belt, when I shoke my head no, He nicely and gaciouly and wonderfully allowed me to cum. (Thank You Master!)
Master then said that my bottom had cooled off a little, the rest of me was sweating! He started to hand spank me. As He continued, He asked if I would cum just from His spanking me....I used to think "no way"..."impossible"...but it has happened a couple times lately, so I relaxed, asked for some harder spanks and it happened, I will never understand it, but maybe just enjoying it is enough.
Master then gave me a task for tonite, I was to take out my biggest toy and fuck myself hard with it for 5 minutes, then cum for Him. I have completed that task, but I only own 1 vibrator, and it is a very small one. I think it is time to move up, so to speak. I am going to ask Master if I may purchase at least one more...and I need suggestions. Please help me with any suggestions as to what works well for you! Thanks!
abby
Friday, April 29, 2011
aaachooo!
Yes i am sitting here sniffling and keeping the kleenex close...hopefully I can banish this cold soon!
This was a week of ups and downs for me. Monday I returned home to Master and a delightful welcome. Then for some reason I started to feel at loose ends, loosing my calmness and talking to myself. Master had a busy week at work, so we were mostly texting and emailing and leaving voice messages, I kept telling myself to snap out of it...Monday had been so special.
Of course that did not work too well, by Thursday my morning text included that I had had an off week. I had plans for the day with friends, Master called at noon asking what time I would return. He was at work later than usual, but we did manage to meet for a short time. It was mostly cuddling and hugging and chit chat, with his fingers doing a little tugging and pinching and raoming. It was what I needed, I went to bed calmer and slept well.
Today was maintenance day. It rarely is on a Friday, but this was one of those weeks. Master did say, waiting til Friday kind of defeats the purpose and He wants it earlier in the week. I did not exactly set it up, but I had mentioned it in my voice message last Wednesday. He greeted me at the door with a wonderful hug...it did help that I loss 1 pound this week!
Then it was kneeling time, covering my ears with his hands and pushing my face into Him so I could not see, nor hear....just feel His touch reclaiming me, reminding me that He owns all of me. Then it was over His lap for a long, hard hand spanking. Master has a hard hand, but I love the feel, the intimacy of it on my bottom.
He spanked hard and long, I was trying not to squirm, but to keep breathing. It seemed to me He was concentrating on one spot...that spot just below my bottom that seems really tender. When I mentioned He could have spread the spanks around, Master replied that my bottom had gotten smaller and His hand covered all of it...what could I say to that?!
By the time He was done, I could feel myself practically dripping. Master commented on how wet, hot, and swollen I was. His hand is so much better than that acrylic paddle! It did not take long for me to be begging for permission, and for them to just keep on coming..or cumming. Before met Master I wondered what all the hype about orgasms was about...and if I managed 1, I was perfectly happy. Don't try to tell me you can't get better as you get older! Finally I layed over His lap, gasping for breath, sated and content. A perfect end to the week!
abby
This was a week of ups and downs for me. Monday I returned home to Master and a delightful welcome. Then for some reason I started to feel at loose ends, loosing my calmness and talking to myself. Master had a busy week at work, so we were mostly texting and emailing and leaving voice messages, I kept telling myself to snap out of it...Monday had been so special.
Of course that did not work too well, by Thursday my morning text included that I had had an off week. I had plans for the day with friends, Master called at noon asking what time I would return. He was at work later than usual, but we did manage to meet for a short time. It was mostly cuddling and hugging and chit chat, with his fingers doing a little tugging and pinching and raoming. It was what I needed, I went to bed calmer and slept well.
Today was maintenance day. It rarely is on a Friday, but this was one of those weeks. Master did say, waiting til Friday kind of defeats the purpose and He wants it earlier in the week. I did not exactly set it up, but I had mentioned it in my voice message last Wednesday. He greeted me at the door with a wonderful hug...it did help that I loss 1 pound this week!
Then it was kneeling time, covering my ears with his hands and pushing my face into Him so I could not see, nor hear....just feel His touch reclaiming me, reminding me that He owns all of me. Then it was over His lap for a long, hard hand spanking. Master has a hard hand, but I love the feel, the intimacy of it on my bottom.
He spanked hard and long, I was trying not to squirm, but to keep breathing. It seemed to me He was concentrating on one spot...that spot just below my bottom that seems really tender. When I mentioned He could have spread the spanks around, Master replied that my bottom had gotten smaller and His hand covered all of it...what could I say to that?!
By the time He was done, I could feel myself practically dripping. Master commented on how wet, hot, and swollen I was. His hand is so much better than that acrylic paddle! It did not take long for me to be begging for permission, and for them to just keep on coming..or cumming. Before met Master I wondered what all the hype about orgasms was about...and if I managed 1, I was perfectly happy. Don't try to tell me you can't get better as you get older! Finally I layed over His lap, gasping for breath, sated and content. A perfect end to the week!
abby
Monday, April 25, 2011
It's good to be back home!
Hello all! I left Boston today, after a rainy, cold week. My little "sweet pea", caught a terrible cold, congestion, runny nose, even a temp. She was a trouper, at 19 months when I would rock her, and comfort her, she would look at me and say...thank you much grandma!
On the days that I travel, I usually text Master when I am ready to leave, and call him when I take a potty break. When I called Him at my stop this afternoon, He told me to come straight to Him, not home to unpack, no stop to get groceries, just right to Him. It made the last part of my drive much more interesting...and a little distracting!
Master greeted me with a big hug! He is just about finished with His bathroom project and about to start a redo of the kitchen! After He filled me on on some of that, it was kneeling time. Lately, He has me close my eyes and he covers my ears, so i am totally focused on Him, on my submission. It is a very calming time.
Then......Master mentioned last Wednesday evening. I...umm...was in a "mood" and let my attitude show. I saw it coming, and instead of pulling it back, just kept on going....like digging yourself a hole, and not being smart enough to stop and try to fill the hole, but you just keep digging.
Disrespect and attitude are never allowed. I apologized right away last week, but knew, although the apology was accepted, I still had a price to pay. I was told to get over the back of the sofa, and felt the coolness of the darn acrylic "paddle". IT HURT....and it was supposed to. I did not get up out of position, but i did raise up a little. After the first few, Master was reminding me that disrespect is expected every day, no matter where I am. I was told to repeat that phrase after each spank...loudly. I did, and after another set Master asked if I had been respectful every day that i was away...a not so loud, "no Sir", was my answer. After a few more Master asked if he needed to continue, a louder "no Sir" was my reply this time.
I was then allowed to go over His lap, for a wonderful welcome back hand spanking. After the spanking, His Hand felt even better than it usually does. Master soon asked if I would like to cum for Him...of course I thought that was a great idea. After usng up several permissions, I was spent, and so gld to be home again!
I did not get a chance to do any blog reading while I was away, but I am going to try and get caught up with all of you in the next couple days!
abby
On the days that I travel, I usually text Master when I am ready to leave, and call him when I take a potty break. When I called Him at my stop this afternoon, He told me to come straight to Him, not home to unpack, no stop to get groceries, just right to Him. It made the last part of my drive much more interesting...and a little distracting!
Master greeted me with a big hug! He is just about finished with His bathroom project and about to start a redo of the kitchen! After He filled me on on some of that, it was kneeling time. Lately, He has me close my eyes and he covers my ears, so i am totally focused on Him, on my submission. It is a very calming time.
Then......Master mentioned last Wednesday evening. I...umm...was in a "mood" and let my attitude show. I saw it coming, and instead of pulling it back, just kept on going....like digging yourself a hole, and not being smart enough to stop and try to fill the hole, but you just keep digging.
Disrespect and attitude are never allowed. I apologized right away last week, but knew, although the apology was accepted, I still had a price to pay. I was told to get over the back of the sofa, and felt the coolness of the darn acrylic "paddle". IT HURT....and it was supposed to. I did not get up out of position, but i did raise up a little. After the first few, Master was reminding me that disrespect is expected every day, no matter where I am. I was told to repeat that phrase after each spank...loudly. I did, and after another set Master asked if I had been respectful every day that i was away...a not so loud, "no Sir", was my answer. After a few more Master asked if he needed to continue, a louder "no Sir" was my reply this time.
I was then allowed to go over His lap, for a wonderful welcome back hand spanking. After the spanking, His Hand felt even better than it usually does. Master soon asked if I would like to cum for Him...of course I thought that was a great idea. After usng up several permissions, I was spent, and so gld to be home again!
I did not get a chance to do any blog reading while I was away, but I am going to try and get caught up with all of you in the next couple days!
abby
Friday, April 15, 2011
on the road....again
I needed this week here at home...some time with Master. It has been calming, replenishing and reassuring.
This afternoon, i got to see the almost finished bathroom, it is quite a room! After we chatted a bit and a little kneeling time, it was over His knee....for a wonderfully long hand...well never quite long enough...spanking. He started over my jeans, then panties, then bottom. He spanked for quite a while, at a slow pace, increasing in intensity, while we chatted. I am leaving tomorrow to return to Boston, for about 10 days. Master reminded me of what He calls my "tool box". It contains all the tools i should use while i am away, to keep me focused. I will admit that i often let some of my routines slip and start to lose focus. Some of the tools, are my daily reports, asking for permissions, texting, calling, a good morning and good night message, a daily task...I am feeling more confident that i will be able to maintain that focus, i do realize that part of being able to, is thinking i can!
On Wednesday, Master had suggested that staying the same was not an option for this coming week, He wanted me to lose. I whined about it, but i agreed today, thinking that i should be staying on track with my eating and maybe some walking is the way to go. I find maintaining more difficult than losing, i tend to go overboard with the treats.
Then master decided that i would get His birthday spanking now, since i will be away on THE day...i am very disappointed about that. His hand birthday spanking was hard and very slow, with me counting out loud. I tried to make Him believe He was younger than He is, but it did not work.
At one point He was doing the current set of 20 all on the same spot, just below my bottom. I was thinkig to myself, You could move them around a little, when Master said, I can hear you thinking that I should move them around a little. I hate it when He can read my mind.....and is right!
When we finally ended with the correct number, Master's talented fingers started to roam....it did not take me long to be asking for permission to cum. Master decides to chat...i also hate that timing...lol.
He said i should cum for Him daily while i am gone. Now i imagine some of you are thinking....lucky girl....but i am not usually a daily type of girl, espicially when i am on my own. I mumbled something about every other day, Master replied, well, you agree to every day, or my fingers stop doing their magic until you get back. I was too far gone to agree to that...as He well knew...so i agreed. The reward was soooo worth it!
We hugged and hugged and said good by. Tonight i filled plastic easter eggs for my granddaughters first easter egg hunt!
Hope you all have a good week....abby
This afternoon, i got to see the almost finished bathroom, it is quite a room! After we chatted a bit and a little kneeling time, it was over His knee....for a wonderfully long hand...well never quite long enough...spanking. He started over my jeans, then panties, then bottom. He spanked for quite a while, at a slow pace, increasing in intensity, while we chatted. I am leaving tomorrow to return to Boston, for about 10 days. Master reminded me of what He calls my "tool box". It contains all the tools i should use while i am away, to keep me focused. I will admit that i often let some of my routines slip and start to lose focus. Some of the tools, are my daily reports, asking for permissions, texting, calling, a good morning and good night message, a daily task...I am feeling more confident that i will be able to maintain that focus, i do realize that part of being able to, is thinking i can!
On Wednesday, Master had suggested that staying the same was not an option for this coming week, He wanted me to lose. I whined about it, but i agreed today, thinking that i should be staying on track with my eating and maybe some walking is the way to go. I find maintaining more difficult than losing, i tend to go overboard with the treats.
Then master decided that i would get His birthday spanking now, since i will be away on THE day...i am very disappointed about that. His hand birthday spanking was hard and very slow, with me counting out loud. I tried to make Him believe He was younger than He is, but it did not work.
At one point He was doing the current set of 20 all on the same spot, just below my bottom. I was thinkig to myself, You could move them around a little, when Master said, I can hear you thinking that I should move them around a little. I hate it when He can read my mind.....and is right!
When we finally ended with the correct number, Master's talented fingers started to roam....it did not take me long to be asking for permission to cum. Master decides to chat...i also hate that timing...lol.
He said i should cum for Him daily while i am gone. Now i imagine some of you are thinking....lucky girl....but i am not usually a daily type of girl, espicially when i am on my own. I mumbled something about every other day, Master replied, well, you agree to every day, or my fingers stop doing their magic until you get back. I was too far gone to agree to that...as He well knew...so i agreed. The reward was soooo worth it!
We hugged and hugged and said good by. Tonight i filled plastic easter eggs for my granddaughters first easter egg hunt!
Hope you all have a good week....abby
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Maintenance.....birthday
...Today was maintenance day for this week. I had asked Master yesterday for a day, and my choice was today. Usually when i know when, i am calmer, more focused. Today, for some reason i was antsy all day, not for any one particular reason, just more on edge. When i saw Master, His day had not gone well. I suggested we could wait for another day either tomorrow or Friday. But he said no, today is fine. Master views maintenance as a reminder and a deterrant. Today's fell under the deterrant category. He told me to bend over the back of the sofa, one of my least favorite positions and i immediately felt something hard and cold on my bare bottom. With no warm up, He started with stong strokes and it did not take long until i was struggling to stay in place. He put His hand on my back and continued. After a few more i was ouching loudly...this was more that i had expected.
He stopped to rub my bottom and massage my back, asking me why we have maintenance, telling me that to be a deterrant to punishment it had to hurt, i had to remember it. Finally He asked if i was feeling better, i replied for now...He chuckled. Twelve more on each cheek...which meant on the exact same spot. I struggled through the first 12, but did manage to breathe and stay in place. Master always seems to spank harder on one side, and i was hoping the harder said was over with....and it was. The next side was easier to get through, partly because i knew they were the last 12....with the very last one being one to really remember.
We then talked about my being away again next week. Master knows my time with my grand daughters is important to me, and He graciously allows me all the time i need to be away. He said this time, i would have to return having loss weight, not staying the same. I "argued" pointing out why i thought that was impossible. Master was not buying it, since i am already above my goal, i need to get back there. I pleaded some more, and although He did not change His mind, He agreed we could talk about it some more on Friday, after my weigh in.
Birthday...not mine....not Master's....but of maintenance! One year ago tomorrow, I had my first maintenance spanking. There are times in every relationship that are crossroads or turning points, and i consider the start of maintenance to be an important day in my submission to Master.
One year ago today, i was feeling....not all that submissive. For a lot of reasons, i was feeling that Master and i had stopped moving forward, that i was struggling with submission and confused as to why i was struggling, why could i not just be or maintain my submission on my own? No, i did not feel i could discuss this with Master, but on that day i read a blog, that mirrored my feelings, and said it so well. I asked if i could quote the blog in a note to Master. It took me a while to hit the send button, but i sent the note, explaining that this was how i felt.
We met the next day, and Master's first words were....you need maintenance spankings. I immediately denied it, but He said, not it is a great idea. I had often wondered what it would be like to know that you would get spanked every week, not just every second, third or fourth week. I had my first maintenance spanking that week, and Master said they would happen weekly. To be honest i wondered how long the weekly part would last...even though i knew Master was a man of His word and always follows through. So every week for this past year, unless one of us was out of town for the whole week, or my back was out, i have been spanked, at least once. I quickly learned that if i had earned a punishment....it did not replace the maintenance spanking, it was in addition to it, a bit of a surprise.
Maintenance has been good for me, very good.
...Maintenance has helped to quiet the voices that would get into my head, and cause me to doubt, to waver, to get into trouble. Now those voices don't have much of a chance, Master is spanking them away!
...Maintenance has greatly diminished the need for Punishment spankings...the capitol P ones! Master means for them to be a deterrant, and He spanks so they are...i do not need to test or wonder. I can concentrate on pleasing, and that is so much nicer..for both of us , i hope.
...Maintenance has helped me to "relax" into my submission. Not sure i can explain this one, but i feel it has become a real part of me, of the every day me. To worry less about the mechanics , the whens, the ifs, the maybes, just leave those where they belong, in Master's hands.
...Maintenance has also given Master and i more time to talk face to face. Phone conversations, emails and texting are just not the same. We get to share more of our lives, we get to laugh more together, we seem more real life. We were real time Master and submissive, but it somehow did not feel like really part of my every day life, now i know, that i am His, every day, that i am submissive not just when i am getting spanked or whipped or flogged, but i am His submissive all of the time, no matter where i am, or what i am doing.
...All of the above has helped for this past year to be one of many steps forward. After 8 years, i finally cried for Master this year, more than once even! He is not only in my heart, but also in my head, He is my constant companion, mentor, Master.
Finally....THANK YOU Master. You know me better than i know myself. You are willing to give me what i need, You have more than earned my trust, my submission, my love. May this coming year be as good as this past one has been!
a very content abby
He stopped to rub my bottom and massage my back, asking me why we have maintenance, telling me that to be a deterrant to punishment it had to hurt, i had to remember it. Finally He asked if i was feeling better, i replied for now...He chuckled. Twelve more on each cheek...which meant on the exact same spot. I struggled through the first 12, but did manage to breathe and stay in place. Master always seems to spank harder on one side, and i was hoping the harder said was over with....and it was. The next side was easier to get through, partly because i knew they were the last 12....with the very last one being one to really remember.
We then talked about my being away again next week. Master knows my time with my grand daughters is important to me, and He graciously allows me all the time i need to be away. He said this time, i would have to return having loss weight, not staying the same. I "argued" pointing out why i thought that was impossible. Master was not buying it, since i am already above my goal, i need to get back there. I pleaded some more, and although He did not change His mind, He agreed we could talk about it some more on Friday, after my weigh in.
Birthday...not mine....not Master's....but of maintenance! One year ago tomorrow, I had my first maintenance spanking. There are times in every relationship that are crossroads or turning points, and i consider the start of maintenance to be an important day in my submission to Master.
One year ago today, i was feeling....not all that submissive. For a lot of reasons, i was feeling that Master and i had stopped moving forward, that i was struggling with submission and confused as to why i was struggling, why could i not just be or maintain my submission on my own? No, i did not feel i could discuss this with Master, but on that day i read a blog, that mirrored my feelings, and said it so well. I asked if i could quote the blog in a note to Master. It took me a while to hit the send button, but i sent the note, explaining that this was how i felt.
We met the next day, and Master's first words were....you need maintenance spankings. I immediately denied it, but He said, not it is a great idea. I had often wondered what it would be like to know that you would get spanked every week, not just every second, third or fourth week. I had my first maintenance spanking that week, and Master said they would happen weekly. To be honest i wondered how long the weekly part would last...even though i knew Master was a man of His word and always follows through. So every week for this past year, unless one of us was out of town for the whole week, or my back was out, i have been spanked, at least once. I quickly learned that if i had earned a punishment....it did not replace the maintenance spanking, it was in addition to it, a bit of a surprise.
Maintenance has been good for me, very good.
...Maintenance has helped to quiet the voices that would get into my head, and cause me to doubt, to waver, to get into trouble. Now those voices don't have much of a chance, Master is spanking them away!
...Maintenance has greatly diminished the need for Punishment spankings...the capitol P ones! Master means for them to be a deterrant, and He spanks so they are...i do not need to test or wonder. I can concentrate on pleasing, and that is so much nicer..for both of us , i hope.
...Maintenance has helped me to "relax" into my submission. Not sure i can explain this one, but i feel it has become a real part of me, of the every day me. To worry less about the mechanics , the whens, the ifs, the maybes, just leave those where they belong, in Master's hands.
...Maintenance has also given Master and i more time to talk face to face. Phone conversations, emails and texting are just not the same. We get to share more of our lives, we get to laugh more together, we seem more real life. We were real time Master and submissive, but it somehow did not feel like really part of my every day life, now i know, that i am His, every day, that i am submissive not just when i am getting spanked or whipped or flogged, but i am His submissive all of the time, no matter where i am, or what i am doing.
...All of the above has helped for this past year to be one of many steps forward. After 8 years, i finally cried for Master this year, more than once even! He is not only in my heart, but also in my head, He is my constant companion, mentor, Master.
Finally....THANK YOU Master. You know me better than i know myself. You are willing to give me what i need, You have more than earned my trust, my submission, my love. May this coming year be as good as this past one has been!
a very content abby
Monday, April 11, 2011
finally....
I am back from a delightful week with an extremely bright 19 month old...not that i am prejudiced! She is talking up a storm, and being a grandma is soooo much more fun than being a mom!
I did struggle, a bit, with staying on track for Master. In my defense, I did not see Him for 10 days before i left, and then i was gone a week. So it was a long dry stretch. Before i leave i always think i will not miss him as much this time and it will be easier, i think i should just face up to the fact...that will probably never happen. He says missing Him is a good thing, and missing Him more just shows that our connection is strong.
I weighed in and reported today, for the first time in over 2 weeks. I was laid up with my back before i left for Boston, so most of that week, i was just trying not to move too much. So no wii or walking for over 2 weeks, and having a daughter in law who loves to cook...well, it was no surprise,,,i gained 2 1/2. I did not think that that was awful, and i told Master that was sorry and that i knew that i had to get back to my goal weight.
This afternoon, i finally got to see Master. After my welcome back hugs, Master's hugs not just a quick squeeze and let's move on, needless to say, they feel soooo good! Then Master said, naked and kneeling please. I slowly got naked, and got into position. Master pressed my eyes shut with His hands, and told me to focus. Just Him and me, nothing else, just us.
He then massaged me into total relaxation..so He could "attack" my nipples, first one then the other. Then it was up and over His knee.
He started with a long hand spanking, starting off slowly and lightly, gaining speed and strength as He continued. His Hand is hard...but oh so wonderful! He then had this paint stick, to stir the paint , it was fairly long, but very thin. I really liked the quick stings, and as Master noticed He chuckled, and said easy....this is a spanking. He went to my thighs and down my legs a bit...just because He can spank me anyplace he pleases, He said. I mentioned He should not get rid of that stick.
Then came time for a serious paddling. I am actually not sure what he used, some type of wood, from his bathroom project...which is looking awesome. He asked if i knew why He had to paddle me...i answered Yes Sir, and would i accept it...again Yes Sir. But, i then asked, what if i had answered no...i was not ready, would He not paddle me. His reply...I would paddle you harder until you were ready, and then give you the original paddling on top of that, so are you ready....i replied quickly, Yes Sir.
There was no lite or slow start this time, and i did manage to stay in place and breathe through it. I was worried since it had been a while, but the warm up helped, and i did want to be good for Him. He then reminded me, that letting me get away with a gain would only lead me to doubts, and wondering if i could get away with more. He is probably correct about that.
Then came my real welcome, with His fingers reaching between my legs, and finding me very ready, bringing me right to the edge. When he pulled out i groaned, he chuckled. Then i felt that paint stick, and Master saying, lt's see if you can cum while i am spanking you. I honestly did not think so, but He had me well primed and ready, and that paint stick, does give a delicous sting, as Master increased the speed i was in the rhythm with Him, and soon i was going over that edge. Master was very pleased, and He proceeded to bring on a few more orgasms, i am not sure the number...but let's say my "dry spell" was wiped out! One thing that surpises me is how loud i sometimes get, that is just not me. When i told master i was sorry for being so loud, he said He loved the wanton me, it was a wonderful compliment to Him....as long as the neighbors don't start complaining.
So i am back, where i belong. I am ready to get back to that goal weight, and to be the submissive that Master deserves....now if only spring would put in an appearance.
linda
I did struggle, a bit, with staying on track for Master. In my defense, I did not see Him for 10 days before i left, and then i was gone a week. So it was a long dry stretch. Before i leave i always think i will not miss him as much this time and it will be easier, i think i should just face up to the fact...that will probably never happen. He says missing Him is a good thing, and missing Him more just shows that our connection is strong.
I weighed in and reported today, for the first time in over 2 weeks. I was laid up with my back before i left for Boston, so most of that week, i was just trying not to move too much. So no wii or walking for over 2 weeks, and having a daughter in law who loves to cook...well, it was no surprise,,,i gained 2 1/2. I did not think that that was awful, and i told Master that was sorry and that i knew that i had to get back to my goal weight.
This afternoon, i finally got to see Master. After my welcome back hugs, Master's hugs not just a quick squeeze and let's move on, needless to say, they feel soooo good! Then Master said, naked and kneeling please. I slowly got naked, and got into position. Master pressed my eyes shut with His hands, and told me to focus. Just Him and me, nothing else, just us.
He then massaged me into total relaxation..so He could "attack" my nipples, first one then the other. Then it was up and over His knee.
He started with a long hand spanking, starting off slowly and lightly, gaining speed and strength as He continued. His Hand is hard...but oh so wonderful! He then had this paint stick, to stir the paint , it was fairly long, but very thin. I really liked the quick stings, and as Master noticed He chuckled, and said easy....this is a spanking. He went to my thighs and down my legs a bit...just because He can spank me anyplace he pleases, He said. I mentioned He should not get rid of that stick.
Then came time for a serious paddling. I am actually not sure what he used, some type of wood, from his bathroom project...which is looking awesome. He asked if i knew why He had to paddle me...i answered Yes Sir, and would i accept it...again Yes Sir. But, i then asked, what if i had answered no...i was not ready, would He not paddle me. His reply...I would paddle you harder until you were ready, and then give you the original paddling on top of that, so are you ready....i replied quickly, Yes Sir.
There was no lite or slow start this time, and i did manage to stay in place and breathe through it. I was worried since it had been a while, but the warm up helped, and i did want to be good for Him. He then reminded me, that letting me get away with a gain would only lead me to doubts, and wondering if i could get away with more. He is probably correct about that.
Then came my real welcome, with His fingers reaching between my legs, and finding me very ready, bringing me right to the edge. When he pulled out i groaned, he chuckled. Then i felt that paint stick, and Master saying, lt's see if you can cum while i am spanking you. I honestly did not think so, but He had me well primed and ready, and that paint stick, does give a delicous sting, as Master increased the speed i was in the rhythm with Him, and soon i was going over that edge. Master was very pleased, and He proceeded to bring on a few more orgasms, i am not sure the number...but let's say my "dry spell" was wiped out! One thing that surpises me is how loud i sometimes get, that is just not me. When i told master i was sorry for being so loud, he said He loved the wanton me, it was a wonderful compliment to Him....as long as the neighbors don't start complaining.
So i am back, where i belong. I am ready to get back to that goal weight, and to be the submissive that Master deserves....now if only spring would put in an appearance.
linda
Saturday, April 2, 2011
no good ouches this week...
The good news is my back is finally feeling better, I no longer wake up every time I try to roll over in bed, and it feels much looser, and I can even bend....carefully! A couple commentors suggested a chiropractor, think I am going to look one up, thanks!
The not so good news, is no good..or any...spanks this week. It has been a long time since I have been home for a week, and have not been spanked. It has become part of my routine, and yes...i miss it!
I am off to Boston tomorrow. Going to help my son and daughter in law with some babysitting for my 18 month old grand-daughter, and my sister and I are going to take my mom on an overnight casino trip. I am looking forward to both of those, even though it means another week with no spanks.
I know I am blessed that my children want me around, and that I have the time and ability to help them out. Grandchildren are truly a wonderful blessing! I will be away for about a week, and hopefully by the time I return spring will have arrived!
abby
The not so good news, is no good..or any...spanks this week. It has been a long time since I have been home for a week, and have not been spanked. It has become part of my routine, and yes...i miss it!
I am off to Boston tomorrow. Going to help my son and daughter in law with some babysitting for my 18 month old grand-daughter, and my sister and I are going to take my mom on an overnight casino trip. I am looking forward to both of those, even though it means another week with no spanks.
I know I am blessed that my children want me around, and that I have the time and ability to help them out. Grandchildren are truly a wonderful blessing! I will be away for about a week, and hopefully by the time I return spring will have arrived!
abby
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
OUCH...but not the "good kind"
It was a wonderful birthday weekend. My granddaughter is quickly becoming a little girl, no longer a baby. She was very excited over her birthday weekend, did not have any "meltdowns", and loved every gift she received. My son and daughter in law in Boston, announced that they are also expecting a new addition in the late fall. So, by the end of this year, I will have doubled my grandchild count!...How exciting!
The one "clink" was by me. I felt my back twitch several times over the weekend, but managed to just ignore it. The last nite we were there, I tried to roll over in bed... and big OUCH, from my back, down my leg. It was a long nite, the next morning, it took me 15 minutes to figure out how to get out of bed. I did get out of sharing the driving...but driving would have been much more fun. I am slowly getting better...much too slowly. I can sleep all night, and as long as I don't bend and move slowly I can move around during the day.
I am really hoping that I can get a "good" ouch from Master soon, since i am leaving Sunday for Boston to help with my 18 month old granddaughter, and to see my mom. It is my dad's birthday that week, so my sister and i have planned to do something special with her.
abby...who is still waiting for spring weather to arrive!
The one "clink" was by me. I felt my back twitch several times over the weekend, but managed to just ignore it. The last nite we were there, I tried to roll over in bed... and big OUCH, from my back, down my leg. It was a long nite, the next morning, it took me 15 minutes to figure out how to get out of bed. I did get out of sharing the driving...but driving would have been much more fun. I am slowly getting better...much too slowly. I can sleep all night, and as long as I don't bend and move slowly I can move around during the day.
I am really hoping that I can get a "good" ouch from Master soon, since i am leaving Sunday for Boston to help with my 18 month old granddaughter, and to see my mom. It is my dad's birthday that week, so my sister and i have planned to do something special with her.
abby...who is still waiting for spring weather to arrive!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Big party weekend!
I am excited that i will be partying this weekend! No not a munch or a spanking party, or anything do to with spanking....my granddaughter turns 3!
She is sooo excited, she has called me twice this week,to be sure i don't forget. She wants a cake...with the letters C A K E on it...today i teased and said grandma put on k e a c...she said that does not spell cake grandma! She wants balloons, ice cream and surprises! My son and his family are also driving to the party from Boston, so we will all be together. Looks like a hectic, busy, wonderful time!
I did see Master today, for a reminder, weekend maintenance spanking...not sure why every spanking needs a title. He's been working on a complete re-do of a bathroom, is getting close to being finished and it is beautiful. But lately, everytime i get spanked it seems to be with some leftover piece of material! I can't wait for Him to start putting the towels in place!
Today's "gem" was a piece of acrylic something...He gave me the technical name i just can't remember. He used the other part of it for a shelf in the shower. So, after some kneeling time, i went ovet His lap, and He started with my clothes on, a few with His hand, then this big sting! I put my head up and tried to see what He was using. He showed me and i moaned. We worked our way to my bare bottom, and that thing packs a wallop! Much more sting that any of the leftover pieces of wood He has been using. The last 10 were very hard! As i was squirming, He said, these can't be that hard or any worse than wood...in my head i am saying then let's try them on You and You can judge! I have learned to keep those conversations in my head, at least most of the time.
When He was done He said i took that well....like i had a choice! i did get nicely rewarded, with Master checking and playing and rubbing til i just had to have a permission or 2. Actually it seemd like one very long orgasm, just more and more and more. Finally when i calmed down, i asked for another...which i rarely do. Master chuckled and said, oh...more than one....even when it is a never ending one? When Master and i first started on this journey, i always told Him 1 was enough...more than enough...He only listened to me the first couple of times, before he decided how many was enough.
We chatted a bit about the coming weekend and staying in touch, and that the maintaining part of the diet does not take a break. Master hates to go backwards. As i was leaving i told Master to be sure to put that acrylic thingy in the recycle bin!
Hope you all have a great weekend....and i will be enjoying party time with my 2 sweet granddaughters!
abby
She is sooo excited, she has called me twice this week,to be sure i don't forget. She wants a cake...with the letters C A K E on it...today i teased and said grandma put on k e a c...she said that does not spell cake grandma! She wants balloons, ice cream and surprises! My son and his family are also driving to the party from Boston, so we will all be together. Looks like a hectic, busy, wonderful time!
I did see Master today, for a reminder, weekend maintenance spanking...not sure why every spanking needs a title. He's been working on a complete re-do of a bathroom, is getting close to being finished and it is beautiful. But lately, everytime i get spanked it seems to be with some leftover piece of material! I can't wait for Him to start putting the towels in place!
Today's "gem" was a piece of acrylic something...He gave me the technical name i just can't remember. He used the other part of it for a shelf in the shower. So, after some kneeling time, i went ovet His lap, and He started with my clothes on, a few with His hand, then this big sting! I put my head up and tried to see what He was using. He showed me and i moaned. We worked our way to my bare bottom, and that thing packs a wallop! Much more sting that any of the leftover pieces of wood He has been using. The last 10 were very hard! As i was squirming, He said, these can't be that hard or any worse than wood...in my head i am saying then let's try them on You and You can judge! I have learned to keep those conversations in my head, at least most of the time.
When He was done He said i took that well....like i had a choice! i did get nicely rewarded, with Master checking and playing and rubbing til i just had to have a permission or 2. Actually it seemd like one very long orgasm, just more and more and more. Finally when i calmed down, i asked for another...which i rarely do. Master chuckled and said, oh...more than one....even when it is a never ending one? When Master and i first started on this journey, i always told Him 1 was enough...more than enough...He only listened to me the first couple of times, before he decided how many was enough.
We chatted a bit about the coming weekend and staying in touch, and that the maintaining part of the diet does not take a break. Master hates to go backwards. As i was leaving i told Master to be sure to put that acrylic thingy in the recycle bin!
Hope you all have a great weekend....and i will be enjoying party time with my 2 sweet granddaughters!
abby
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Needing maintenance, asking
One of the things that i was unprepared for when i started on this journey was the feeling of neediness that seemed to overcome me. Being needy was not something i ever considered a good thing, i was in control, in charge of my life, there was no room for such feelings. I did not know how to deal with those feelings, and tried very hard to ignore them, banish them, pretend they were not a part of me.
Master has helped me to understand that needing Him is a natural feeling. Nothing to be ashamed of, not a sign of weakness, just a part of "me". Asking for what i need, is hard for me. Master keeps telling me, just ask...yeah just. I don't know, maybe a part of me still feels like it is a weakness.
I started this week in a "funk". It was a tough weekend, dealing with family matters, and a few other concerns. I gained 1/2 pound yesterday, which Master was ok with...it put me right at my goal. I knew yesterday that i "needed" to see Master, but decided not to mention it. He has a full plate, and i just did not feel right asking.
Today, i knew i was on shaky gound. The first thing i thought of this morning, was i need maintenance. When i let Master know of my plans for the morning, i did not mention it. I called after i had been out to breakfast with friends, left a message saying i would try calling later. I did, and this time did not leave a message.
Master called me back and after some chatting, i mentioned that "m' word. He said, we could stick to Wednesdays, and i was silent. Or, He continued, we could meet today. Today would be good i quickly said, thinking i wonder if He was reading my mind again?
After the usual kneeling time, Master decided to change things a little. Maintenance has been over His knee with a small paddle for quite a while now. As i was waitng for Him to sit, so i could climb over His knee, He told me to bare my bottom and lean over the back of the sofa. I groaned, He smiled. One of my least favorite, and hardest to stay in positions. When i had walked in i had seen a piece of wooden molding by the sofa, so i moved it and put my coat over it.....just in case.
Master is looking for something, as i am getting ready. He asks if i saw a piece of molding, and did i move it. I sort of just give Him a smile. He leaves and quickly returns with a larger and much heavier piece of wood. Your choice He says, i quickly remember where that piece of molding "disappeared" to.
He gives me a hard whack with it, and it HURT. After the second one i start to stand, He reminds me to stay in place, i reply it really hurts. After the next one He says i am only going to give you 12. Knowing how many usually helps me to get through them. This time, i say, no way, not 12, they hurt. Master's reply is you don't like 12, ok we will go for 18, as He whacks me again. I quickly am telling Him how much i love the idea of 12, and please can the number be 12? Luckily, He agrees.
My ouching gets louder. Master remarks that maybe it is because there was no warm up. Hearing that, i have several answers swirling in my head, but i remember i am over the sofa, and He is holding wood, so i choose to stay quiet...a hard learned lesson.
Finally, He is done...and He tells me to stay in place while, He starts to get me to relax, before He gets me avey "unrelaxed", and asking for permissions. When we are done, He has us move to the sofa, where He tells me to lay across His lap and He will rub the sting away. It is relaxing, and comforting, and soon those darn tears are showing up. We talk about them a bit, and Master ecnourages me to talk about what i have been struggling with. I am not ready to do that, so Master starts talking about when We first met, and thanks me fo agreeing to meet Him....He so knows how to make me feel better.
Now i am going to let in on my big DUH moment...hopefully for a long time! I get out to my car, am clicking my keys and my car is not unlocking. My "unlock" button has been erratic, lately , but i have always been able to get it to work. I cannot get the door unlocked, not matter h ow fast or hard i click the thing. I go back to ask Master for help, He is on the phone so i go outside to continue clicking. Master comes out, and the clicking is not working for Him either. He looks at me with a big grin as i am getting upset, and takes th key and puts it in the key hole and unlocks the darn door....Oh "&*^%" i am thinking, how come i did not think of that! Using the key...who would have thunk?? Master thought it was hilarious, i ...well i was more than a little embarrassed.
abby, who will never forget about using the key again!
Master has helped me to understand that needing Him is a natural feeling. Nothing to be ashamed of, not a sign of weakness, just a part of "me". Asking for what i need, is hard for me. Master keeps telling me, just ask...yeah just. I don't know, maybe a part of me still feels like it is a weakness.
I started this week in a "funk". It was a tough weekend, dealing with family matters, and a few other concerns. I gained 1/2 pound yesterday, which Master was ok with...it put me right at my goal. I knew yesterday that i "needed" to see Master, but decided not to mention it. He has a full plate, and i just did not feel right asking.
Today, i knew i was on shaky gound. The first thing i thought of this morning, was i need maintenance. When i let Master know of my plans for the morning, i did not mention it. I called after i had been out to breakfast with friends, left a message saying i would try calling later. I did, and this time did not leave a message.
Master called me back and after some chatting, i mentioned that "m' word. He said, we could stick to Wednesdays, and i was silent. Or, He continued, we could meet today. Today would be good i quickly said, thinking i wonder if He was reading my mind again?
After the usual kneeling time, Master decided to change things a little. Maintenance has been over His knee with a small paddle for quite a while now. As i was waitng for Him to sit, so i could climb over His knee, He told me to bare my bottom and lean over the back of the sofa. I groaned, He smiled. One of my least favorite, and hardest to stay in positions. When i had walked in i had seen a piece of wooden molding by the sofa, so i moved it and put my coat over it.....just in case.
Master is looking for something, as i am getting ready. He asks if i saw a piece of molding, and did i move it. I sort of just give Him a smile. He leaves and quickly returns with a larger and much heavier piece of wood. Your choice He says, i quickly remember where that piece of molding "disappeared" to.
He gives me a hard whack with it, and it HURT. After the second one i start to stand, He reminds me to stay in place, i reply it really hurts. After the next one He says i am only going to give you 12. Knowing how many usually helps me to get through them. This time, i say, no way, not 12, they hurt. Master's reply is you don't like 12, ok we will go for 18, as He whacks me again. I quickly am telling Him how much i love the idea of 12, and please can the number be 12? Luckily, He agrees.
My ouching gets louder. Master remarks that maybe it is because there was no warm up. Hearing that, i have several answers swirling in my head, but i remember i am over the sofa, and He is holding wood, so i choose to stay quiet...a hard learned lesson.
Finally, He is done...and He tells me to stay in place while, He starts to get me to relax, before He gets me avey "unrelaxed", and asking for permissions. When we are done, He has us move to the sofa, where He tells me to lay across His lap and He will rub the sting away. It is relaxing, and comforting, and soon those darn tears are showing up. We talk about them a bit, and Master ecnourages me to talk about what i have been struggling with. I am not ready to do that, so Master starts talking about when We first met, and thanks me fo agreeing to meet Him....He so knows how to make me feel better.
Now i am going to let in on my big DUH moment...hopefully for a long time! I get out to my car, am clicking my keys and my car is not unlocking. My "unlock" button has been erratic, lately , but i have always been able to get it to work. I cannot get the door unlocked, not matter h ow fast or hard i click the thing. I go back to ask Master for help, He is on the phone so i go outside to continue clicking. Master comes out, and the clicking is not working for Him either. He looks at me with a big grin as i am getting upset, and takes th key and puts it in the key hole and unlocks the darn door....Oh "&*^%" i am thinking, how come i did not think of that! Using the key...who would have thunk?? Master thought it was hilarious, i ...well i was more than a little embarrassed.
abby, who will never forget about using the key again!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Reached my goal!!!!
Hurrah for me...when i weighed in this morning i was able to report to Master a loss...and i had (finally) reached my goal! I have lost 60 pounds, it has taken forever, but I DID IT!!!
I knew i had a good week this week. I was focused on all the right things, i stayed calmed, no voices egging me on, and just feeling good about "me".
I have more to lose, but i am going to try and maintain for a bit. I say try, but Master was strong in pointing out this afternoon, that He does not allow going backwards (gaining), if i want some wriggle room, i need to build some in. Also in the past, i have not done well with maintaining, i have a different mindset, and think, oh i can have a little ice cream, fast food, just once a week won't hurt.....etc...etc. So, wish me luck!
When i saw Master this afternoon, He was as pleased as i was. I have asked before to cut back to 1 weigh in a week, and always have been denied. So today i thought i would not ask, i would just just say, now i can return to 1 weigh in a week.....denied again! He said everything stays the same, when you are successful, you stay with the same things. So much for that bubble.
As always, we started with kneeling time. He was standing behind me and reached over to "maul" my breast. I flinched and groaned, He claimed i would miss it if He did not entertain "the girls". I doubt i am the one who would be missing it. Then it was over His lap for a quick spanking. I was very surprised when He told me to stand.
He then told me to sit on Him, facing forward. I hesitated trying to figure out what he was thinking, when He told me to SIT. He then had me spread my legs as far apart as i can. He reaches around me and starts at my breast and works His way down. He tells me to lean back and relax. I manage to lean back into Him, but relaxing when Master's fingers are working their magic? I was soon asking...begging ...for permission, which Master quickly grants, and then another.
Then i am truly relaxing, leaning back on Master feeling like we are totally connected. Master had surprised me with something new, and although i was hesistant at first, i loved the feeling of it. Maybe part of it is that i never considered myself small enough to sit on someone's lap and fit.
A good week, ending with a great Friday. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
abby
I knew i had a good week this week. I was focused on all the right things, i stayed calmed, no voices egging me on, and just feeling good about "me".
I have more to lose, but i am going to try and maintain for a bit. I say try, but Master was strong in pointing out this afternoon, that He does not allow going backwards (gaining), if i want some wriggle room, i need to build some in. Also in the past, i have not done well with maintaining, i have a different mindset, and think, oh i can have a little ice cream, fast food, just once a week won't hurt.....etc...etc. So, wish me luck!
When i saw Master this afternoon, He was as pleased as i was. I have asked before to cut back to 1 weigh in a week, and always have been denied. So today i thought i would not ask, i would just just say, now i can return to 1 weigh in a week.....denied again! He said everything stays the same, when you are successful, you stay with the same things. So much for that bubble.
As always, we started with kneeling time. He was standing behind me and reached over to "maul" my breast. I flinched and groaned, He claimed i would miss it if He did not entertain "the girls". I doubt i am the one who would be missing it. Then it was over His lap for a quick spanking. I was very surprised when He told me to stand.
He then told me to sit on Him, facing forward. I hesitated trying to figure out what he was thinking, when He told me to SIT. He then had me spread my legs as far apart as i can. He reaches around me and starts at my breast and works His way down. He tells me to lean back and relax. I manage to lean back into Him, but relaxing when Master's fingers are working their magic? I was soon asking...begging ...for permission, which Master quickly grants, and then another.
Then i am truly relaxing, leaning back on Master feeling like we are totally connected. Master had surprised me with something new, and although i was hesistant at first, i loved the feeling of it. Maybe part of it is that i never considered myself small enough to sit on someone's lap and fit.
A good week, ending with a great Friday. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
abby
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"Repercussion" ??
On Monday while i was over Master's lap, we had this discussion. He had used the word repercussion to mean a good result or consequence. I qestioned that and said i thought it only meant a bad outcome. We debated a bit, i said i would look it up and let Him know He was wrong...pretty brave in that position! Well, i looked it up in several places, and............
Master was right...go figure! It is merely a consequence of actions, altho most of the time the connotation is negative.
Also, after Master read my blog on Monday, i was informed that He used a cedar shake, not plank on my bottom. He said there is a big difference in size and He is not a brute!
Today was Maintenance day. After my kneeling time, we sat and talked over a coupe family issues i have coming up that will cause me to be away, and the worries that they entail. Then it was over His lap, my bottom was still tender from Monday, it did not take long before i was squirming and ouching. Master was using the compact, but thick wooden brush. Happily the spanking was short, and Master was soon soothing and rubbing, and "checking". It still amazed me how quickly He can get me from 0 to full speed ahead! After a couple permissions, He took pity on me and let me breathe and come back to calmness.
I told Master today, i don't tell Him enough, how thankful i am that He is in my life. When we met, i was hoping to find someone who might be willing to spank me once. I never thought He would take me on this magical, wonderful journey! He always says it is a 2 sided coin, and He is as lucky, i guess that makes us both lucky!
abby
Master was right...go figure! It is merely a consequence of actions, altho most of the time the connotation is negative.
Also, after Master read my blog on Monday, i was informed that He used a cedar shake, not plank on my bottom. He said there is a big difference in size and He is not a brute!
Today was Maintenance day. After my kneeling time, we sat and talked over a coupe family issues i have coming up that will cause me to be away, and the worries that they entail. Then it was over His lap, my bottom was still tender from Monday, it did not take long before i was squirming and ouching. Master was using the compact, but thick wooden brush. Happily the spanking was short, and Master was soon soothing and rubbing, and "checking". It still amazed me how quickly He can get me from 0 to full speed ahead! After a couple permissions, He took pity on me and let me breathe and come back to calmness.
I told Master today, i don't tell Him enough, how thankful i am that He is in my life. When we met, i was hoping to find someone who might be willing to spank me once. I never thought He would take me on this magical, wonderful journey! He always says it is a 2 sided coin, and He is as lucky, i guess that makes us both lucky!
abby
Monday, March 14, 2011
Mondays report...
Last Friday i reported a 1 pound loss, only 1/2 pound away from my goal. Master was as pleased as i was, and said He would see me later that day. I was sort of surprised since i had just had my maintenance spanking the day before. Later that day i got a call from a good friend i had not seen in a while, saying she had the "KACHIING" itch. Our code work for Casino time! One of my few (?) vices...gong to a casino. I have not been in months, and i was free, except for Master. So i text Him, and He said come right over and then you may go. It was a quick visit, He wanted to be sure i stayed focused over the weekend, and there was a quick hand spanking. He asked about my limit for losing, i hemmed and hawed...i hate having a pre arranged limit. But we agreed on a number, and i went to meet my friend. Yes i did lose to my limit, but we had a great time, and it was wonderful to see my friend again. Master text me early Saturday morning, to see if i was treating for lunch...lol..no luck!
Today my weigh in was plus 1/2. I figured it was only 1/2 pound and over the weekend so no problem. I text Master, adding i will be extra good this week. His reply...you will be sore this week. When i read His reply i immediately got pouty, it was the weekend, and only !/2 pound, He is being mean. I sort of spouted to myself all morning, and when we talked, He just said, it was not what He expects and He would see me this afternoon.
Going into a spanking, especially a possible punishment one, with resentment and attitude is not a good thing. It has happened, and it just prolongs the spanking, until i let it all go. So i kept telling myself, let it go, He is in charge, you know He gives very little wriggle room, and it is because of Him that you are close to having lost 60 pounds!
When i got to Master, i was not pouting, but i was quiet. He asked several times what was wrong, i kept saying nothing. You are too quiet, quiet is not good, He said. I finally said i was upset that i had dissapointed Him. After some kneeling time, i was over His lap. We were chatting, discussing the meaning of a word that we disagreed on. I said i would look it up and let Him know i was right. He chuckled, and soon i was laughing and smiling, as He said, you were pretty determined not to laugh or smile when you walked in here. He was right, He had succeeded in dispelling most of my "bad mood". He also told me this was not punishment, He was not upset with me, maybe He just wanted an excuse to spank me. I looked at Him...You need an excuse?
He kindly started with a hand warm-up, and slowly peeled off my layers of clothing. He had a cedar plank that He was going to use. (I did not know what it was until i asked Master). It was thin and light, but very stingy. After a few sets, Master asked how long it took me to lose my limit. He then gave me a fast volley on one cheek. When He was done i said, that was 1/2 my limit right? He said Yup, and the other cheek gets the last half. They were fast, take your breath away swats.
I assumed he was finished. When i started to move, He informed me He was not done, my cheeks were barely pink. I guess i will start having to put make up on all my cheeks! He pulled me in close to Him, and finished with a long hard flurry. That cedar plank went into the recycle bin, but i would not mind feeling it again...much nicer than most of Master's wood toys.
On the way out, Master said, You were right. I don't need a reason to spank you, just an itchy palm.
I felt much better when i got home, you have to love someone who can make you smile and laugh, when you think that is the last thing you want to do.
abby
Today my weigh in was plus 1/2. I figured it was only 1/2 pound and over the weekend so no problem. I text Master, adding i will be extra good this week. His reply...you will be sore this week. When i read His reply i immediately got pouty, it was the weekend, and only !/2 pound, He is being mean. I sort of spouted to myself all morning, and when we talked, He just said, it was not what He expects and He would see me this afternoon.
Going into a spanking, especially a possible punishment one, with resentment and attitude is not a good thing. It has happened, and it just prolongs the spanking, until i let it all go. So i kept telling myself, let it go, He is in charge, you know He gives very little wriggle room, and it is because of Him that you are close to having lost 60 pounds!
When i got to Master, i was not pouting, but i was quiet. He asked several times what was wrong, i kept saying nothing. You are too quiet, quiet is not good, He said. I finally said i was upset that i had dissapointed Him. After some kneeling time, i was over His lap. We were chatting, discussing the meaning of a word that we disagreed on. I said i would look it up and let Him know i was right. He chuckled, and soon i was laughing and smiling, as He said, you were pretty determined not to laugh or smile when you walked in here. He was right, He had succeeded in dispelling most of my "bad mood". He also told me this was not punishment, He was not upset with me, maybe He just wanted an excuse to spank me. I looked at Him...You need an excuse?
He kindly started with a hand warm-up, and slowly peeled off my layers of clothing. He had a cedar plank that He was going to use. (I did not know what it was until i asked Master). It was thin and light, but very stingy. After a few sets, Master asked how long it took me to lose my limit. He then gave me a fast volley on one cheek. When He was done i said, that was 1/2 my limit right? He said Yup, and the other cheek gets the last half. They were fast, take your breath away swats.
I assumed he was finished. When i started to move, He informed me He was not done, my cheeks were barely pink. I guess i will start having to put make up on all my cheeks! He pulled me in close to Him, and finished with a long hard flurry. That cedar plank went into the recycle bin, but i would not mind feeling it again...much nicer than most of Master's wood toys.
On the way out, Master said, You were right. I don't need a reason to spank you, just an itchy palm.
I felt much better when i got home, you have to love someone who can make you smile and laugh, when you think that is the last thing you want to do.
abby
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I give you enough rope to......
Master will occasionally say to me, i give you enough rope and watch. He says this when i have been pushing the rules a bit, when i start to think i have control or can make certain decisions on my own, or when i am just being a "little" pushy. Doesn't sound like me at all, does it? It used to be, that the outcome of all that rope, was not a hanging, but a very unhappy Master, which of course translates into an unhappy me. This time, i realized what was happening in time to prevent "the hanging".
For some reason i have not had a good week. The worse part was i could not figure out why i was feeling unconnected or out of sorts, just not right. Things have been going well with Master, last Friday was awesome, i just could not figure it out. Maybe some kind of "sub drop", maybe worry over my daughter's pregnancy, maybe just me being crazy.
Today was Thursday and i had not brought up the word "maintenance" yet this week. It is one of my tasks that i am to check our schedules, and make it happen. I kept waiting, hoping i would magically get rid of my uneasy feelings, trying to find a way to deal with them myself. No, i did not mention them to Master. This morning i knew my week was running out, and i was not being successful in "fixing myself". So, i asked Master about maintenance and mentioned my feelings. He said He would see me during His lunch time.
After our hugs, Master started by saying, you know I was giving you enough rope.....I know i said, i just felt i should not be feeling the way i was. He reminds me that feelings are feelings, not right or wrong, they are my feelings. I told Him i was trying to deal with them myself, He gave me a look, and asked how well that was working for me.
Then it was over His knee, starting with a hand spanking, over clothing, progressing to a paddle on my bare bottom. This was a different paddle, smaller, but much heavier, lots more thud. He started slowly and built up in tempo and force. I was trying very hard to stay still, not kick up my legs, not try to get away, to keep breathing, and stay in place. Master even commented on the fact that i was trying very hard to be good. Then , He is stretching my skin, reaching for that spot between my bottom and my thighs, that tender spot, that reminds me, much later that i have been spanked. He slows down the pace, way slow, but increases the force, and i get 10 on each side. By the end, i am ouching out loud, but staying in place. Master finishes by reminding me He is here for me, and not to wait so long again to ask for His help....or to schedule my maintenance.
Then His fingers are roaming, and i am soon moaning. He is talking to me, and i am responding, but to be honest i cannot recall the conversation. I finally hear Him tell me to cum for Him, and i do...again and again. I say, no more...and He chuckles and continues, til He has found few more for me. I am laying spent over His lap, relaxed, at ease, submissive, calm, and thankful.
He then tells me to kneel between His legs. He reaches for my breasts, can't leave these out...i groan, but know He will do as He wishes. Finally He tells me to put my head on His chest, i reach my arms out to hug Him and He tells me to put them behind me. I am to fall into Him, giving up control. The lesson is not loss on me. After a bit, i get to hug Him, we chat a little, and Master has to return to work.
I spend my afternoon shopping, relaxed, knowing that i am not in control, that "me" is back, and i am thankful.
Have a great weekend everyone!
abby
For some reason i have not had a good week. The worse part was i could not figure out why i was feeling unconnected or out of sorts, just not right. Things have been going well with Master, last Friday was awesome, i just could not figure it out. Maybe some kind of "sub drop", maybe worry over my daughter's pregnancy, maybe just me being crazy.
Today was Thursday and i had not brought up the word "maintenance" yet this week. It is one of my tasks that i am to check our schedules, and make it happen. I kept waiting, hoping i would magically get rid of my uneasy feelings, trying to find a way to deal with them myself. No, i did not mention them to Master. This morning i knew my week was running out, and i was not being successful in "fixing myself". So, i asked Master about maintenance and mentioned my feelings. He said He would see me during His lunch time.
After our hugs, Master started by saying, you know I was giving you enough rope.....I know i said, i just felt i should not be feeling the way i was. He reminds me that feelings are feelings, not right or wrong, they are my feelings. I told Him i was trying to deal with them myself, He gave me a look, and asked how well that was working for me.
Then it was over His knee, starting with a hand spanking, over clothing, progressing to a paddle on my bare bottom. This was a different paddle, smaller, but much heavier, lots more thud. He started slowly and built up in tempo and force. I was trying very hard to stay still, not kick up my legs, not try to get away, to keep breathing, and stay in place. Master even commented on the fact that i was trying very hard to be good. Then , He is stretching my skin, reaching for that spot between my bottom and my thighs, that tender spot, that reminds me, much later that i have been spanked. He slows down the pace, way slow, but increases the force, and i get 10 on each side. By the end, i am ouching out loud, but staying in place. Master finishes by reminding me He is here for me, and not to wait so long again to ask for His help....or to schedule my maintenance.
Then His fingers are roaming, and i am soon moaning. He is talking to me, and i am responding, but to be honest i cannot recall the conversation. I finally hear Him tell me to cum for Him, and i do...again and again. I say, no more...and He chuckles and continues, til He has found few more for me. I am laying spent over His lap, relaxed, at ease, submissive, calm, and thankful.
He then tells me to kneel between His legs. He reaches for my breasts, can't leave these out...i groan, but know He will do as He wishes. Finally He tells me to put my head on His chest, i reach my arms out to hug Him and He tells me to put them behind me. I am to fall into Him, giving up control. The lesson is not loss on me. After a bit, i get to hug Him, we chat a little, and Master has to return to work.
I spend my afternoon shopping, relaxed, knowing that i am not in control, that "me" is back, and i am thankful.
Have a great weekend everyone!
abby
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday's report on Tuesday
Good morning all! I am soooooo ready for spring, please NO MORE snow!!!!
I was a little worried about my weigh in yesterday. One of my granddaughters sent me chocolate covered chocolate chip cookies, my sister sent me chocolate covered fruit, and my daughter made me a chocolate mocha cake, served with coffee chocolate chunk ice cream! Most of it is still here, I am bringing the cookies to my book club today!
I was very excited to be able to report to Master that i had stayed the same. Hopefully i can manage to continue to resist the temptation, or figure someway to get the rest of it out of the house. I love the chocolate covered orange slices, so i am allowing myself 2 of those a day.
Have a good week, everyone!
abby
I was a little worried about my weigh in yesterday. One of my granddaughters sent me chocolate covered chocolate chip cookies, my sister sent me chocolate covered fruit, and my daughter made me a chocolate mocha cake, served with coffee chocolate chunk ice cream! Most of it is still here, I am bringing the cookies to my book club today!
I was very excited to be able to report to Master that i had stayed the same. Hopefully i can manage to continue to resist the temptation, or figure someway to get the rest of it out of the house. I love the chocolate covered orange slices, so i am allowing myself 2 of those a day.
Have a good week, everyone!
abby
Friday, March 4, 2011
A leatherlicious birthday!
Today is my birthday. I know what you are all wondering....and i will only admit to...over 50! I had a great day, the first thing i saw when i woke up was a birthday message from Master. My almost 3 year old grand daughter sang her greeting to me, and the 18 month old put together Happy birthday Grandma....that must have taken a lot of coaching. I heard from friends and my mom and sister, and my daughter took me out to dinner.
The best part of today was this afternoon. I have been spanked more this past year than any other. Many of them are fairly quick events, and it has been a while since Master and i both had the time to just take an afternoon and play, snuggle, and enjoy each other. Master text me this morning to say this afternoon was our time.
Master has a lovely set of wrist and ankle cuffs...leather on the outside, and a soft wooly lining! As soon as He puts them on me, my whole head space screams submissive. He put them on me this afternoon, as i was kneeling for Him. After He had reclaimed all of me....paying special attention to my breasts, it was play time! First order of business is an OTK hand birthday spanking. I get as many as my age..and one to grow on. That will be the standard for every "toy" that He uses today.
I get on the bed, on my tummy, arms and legs spread wide, the way Master positions them. He starts me off with a wonderful massage, rubbing and kneading and pushing every single knot and all the tension out. He has such wonderful hands, that are very talented! Master starts the session with the large leather flogger. My absolute favorite spanking toy!
He drags the leather strips up and down my legs, back, arms, all of me. It is the best feeling. Then, He uses the flogger on my back, one stroke for each year of life. The strokes are medium strength, and i am so turning to jello.
Then i feel the sting of Master's single tail whip. He claims to like all of His toys equally, but i think this is His favorite. It is leather, but definately leather with a big sting to it. It always takes me by surpise, and wakens all my senses. My back feels like it is very hot and stingy when He finishes, and He takes the time to rub out some of the sting.
I am actually a little fuzzy as to what comes next. I think it was a paddle that warmed up my bottom to match my back. Then it is the crop, it reaches many places, and i love the feel of it. Then Master says...sunny side up...time for me to roll over on my back. I always hesitate. Being on my tummy allows me to feel somewhat hidden, i guess, on my back, i feel much more open and vulnerable. I have learned to take a deep breath and turn over.
The flogger and the whip are repeated, i find it more difficult to relax, and keep reminding myself to breathe. When He is done Master uses His hand to pull, tug, and pinch my breast. I start to move my hands, but He reminds me to stay in position. After each of the toys, He "checks" to see if i am enjoying myself, after each check He chuckles and says "yup".
He also uses His hand to spank my pussy, which i know i react positively to.
Back on my back, and the flogger makes another appearance, this time Master uses it with much more force. Then Master is sitting on the bed, next to me, using the cane close up. I ouch a little and He says its my fault for having so many birthdays! The large leather strop is next, i think, and i am once again melting at the feel of the leather.
Back on my back, Master's fingers are roaming and teasing. He decides to fill me with His hand, a mixture of pain , then pleasure. He is patient and consistent, and i do my best to stay relaxed. I feel Him filling me, owning me, being a part of me. I hear Him telling me to cum for Him, and i obey, not sure how many times. He withdraws his hand and stimulates me with His fingers, making me cum until the tears are falling, and i am once again crying. The walls have fallen, the layers stripped away, and he is there to reassure me.
He crawls in to me, telling me to find my "safe" place....burried into his furry, fuzzsy chest, i go to Him and nuzzle into His chest, and we both just relax and enjoy being in the moment. Eventually we chat about our time together. I tell Him, He has taken me to places i never thought i would get to, and some places i never even imagined. How lucky i am....and He reminds me, as He always does, that He is also lucky. I have worked hard to become open to Him, to not let the layers and walls that i built separate us, to destroy them, to let go and let Him in.
After some more quiet time, Master says it is time for my last spanking. He tells me to get up, hands on the bed, bottom up and out. I am puzzled, but i do. Then i feel the distinct coolness of a fairly large paddle. I don't say anything but get myself ready. He lands the first smack and it HURTS! I say a loud ouch, but stay in position. Then Master says, that was your one to grow on, we are done, as He is laughing. I am not sure if i should hug or hit Him, but the hug wins out.
It was a wonderful way to spend my birthday afternoon. Having more birthdays, is not necessarily all about getting older!
abby
The best part of today was this afternoon. I have been spanked more this past year than any other. Many of them are fairly quick events, and it has been a while since Master and i both had the time to just take an afternoon and play, snuggle, and enjoy each other. Master text me this morning to say this afternoon was our time.
Master has a lovely set of wrist and ankle cuffs...leather on the outside, and a soft wooly lining! As soon as He puts them on me, my whole head space screams submissive. He put them on me this afternoon, as i was kneeling for Him. After He had reclaimed all of me....paying special attention to my breasts, it was play time! First order of business is an OTK hand birthday spanking. I get as many as my age..and one to grow on. That will be the standard for every "toy" that He uses today.
I get on the bed, on my tummy, arms and legs spread wide, the way Master positions them. He starts me off with a wonderful massage, rubbing and kneading and pushing every single knot and all the tension out. He has such wonderful hands, that are very talented! Master starts the session with the large leather flogger. My absolute favorite spanking toy!
He drags the leather strips up and down my legs, back, arms, all of me. It is the best feeling. Then, He uses the flogger on my back, one stroke for each year of life. The strokes are medium strength, and i am so turning to jello.
Then i feel the sting of Master's single tail whip. He claims to like all of His toys equally, but i think this is His favorite. It is leather, but definately leather with a big sting to it. It always takes me by surpise, and wakens all my senses. My back feels like it is very hot and stingy when He finishes, and He takes the time to rub out some of the sting.
I am actually a little fuzzy as to what comes next. I think it was a paddle that warmed up my bottom to match my back. Then it is the crop, it reaches many places, and i love the feel of it. Then Master says...sunny side up...time for me to roll over on my back. I always hesitate. Being on my tummy allows me to feel somewhat hidden, i guess, on my back, i feel much more open and vulnerable. I have learned to take a deep breath and turn over.
The flogger and the whip are repeated, i find it more difficult to relax, and keep reminding myself to breathe. When He is done Master uses His hand to pull, tug, and pinch my breast. I start to move my hands, but He reminds me to stay in position. After each of the toys, He "checks" to see if i am enjoying myself, after each check He chuckles and says "yup".
He also uses His hand to spank my pussy, which i know i react positively to.
Back on my back, and the flogger makes another appearance, this time Master uses it with much more force. Then Master is sitting on the bed, next to me, using the cane close up. I ouch a little and He says its my fault for having so many birthdays! The large leather strop is next, i think, and i am once again melting at the feel of the leather.
Back on my back, Master's fingers are roaming and teasing. He decides to fill me with His hand, a mixture of pain , then pleasure. He is patient and consistent, and i do my best to stay relaxed. I feel Him filling me, owning me, being a part of me. I hear Him telling me to cum for Him, and i obey, not sure how many times. He withdraws his hand and stimulates me with His fingers, making me cum until the tears are falling, and i am once again crying. The walls have fallen, the layers stripped away, and he is there to reassure me.
He crawls in to me, telling me to find my "safe" place....burried into his furry, fuzzsy chest, i go to Him and nuzzle into His chest, and we both just relax and enjoy being in the moment. Eventually we chat about our time together. I tell Him, He has taken me to places i never thought i would get to, and some places i never even imagined. How lucky i am....and He reminds me, as He always does, that He is also lucky. I have worked hard to become open to Him, to not let the layers and walls that i built separate us, to destroy them, to let go and let Him in.
After some more quiet time, Master says it is time for my last spanking. He tells me to get up, hands on the bed, bottom up and out. I am puzzled, but i do. Then i feel the distinct coolness of a fairly large paddle. I don't say anything but get myself ready. He lands the first smack and it HURTS! I say a loud ouch, but stay in position. Then Master says, that was your one to grow on, we are done, as He is laughing. I am not sure if i should hug or hit Him, but the hug wins out.
It was a wonderful way to spend my birthday afternoon. Having more birthdays, is not necessarily all about getting older!
abby
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wednesday's maintenance spanking
I went to Master early this afternoon for my weekly maintenance spanking.
I have come to regard maintenance as a glue that keeps our bond strong...and strengthens it when it starts to weaken. Yes, i get spanked, and Master believes maintenance needs to hurt to be effective, but we also get get a chance to talk things out, face to face, or sometimes bottom to face! It is a time of reconnection and of closeness.
As always, we start with me kneeling before Him as He claims my body. Lately He has been focusing on reclaiming my breast, which causes me to really focus on submitting. He pulls me into Him, so my face is smushed against His stomach, breathing in His scent. I am breathing deeply, becoming calm and focused.
Then it is over His knee, for the spanking part. He starts with His hand, for a short warm-up. Too soon, He is reaching for the bath brush. He starts off fairly slowly, but it quickly gets painful, more quickly than i expect. Maybe it is because i was just spanked on Monday. My legs start to kick up, and i get a warning that my thighs could be the target and i quiet my legs.
Master asks why we have maintenance, and i tell Him, to keep me on track, to remind me of my submissiveness, to keep from Him having to punish me.
The spanking is over fairly quickly, as Master's fingers start to roam. He likes to check to see if, at least part of me, is enjoying this. Of course He claims to find that evidence, and soon i am too busy asking for a permission to dispute that fact. After getting to the begging stage, i am granted a few permissions. We then quietly talk, as He rubs and massages and helps me to a safe "landing".
As i was sitting here earlier, thinking about this afternoon, all i could think of is how lucky i am. A Master who provides what i need, who takes care of me, who pushes me to be better, who has turned my life around, who has opened me to so many new ideas and sensations...
Thank You Master!
abby
I have come to regard maintenance as a glue that keeps our bond strong...and strengthens it when it starts to weaken. Yes, i get spanked, and Master believes maintenance needs to hurt to be effective, but we also get get a chance to talk things out, face to face, or sometimes bottom to face! It is a time of reconnection and of closeness.
As always, we start with me kneeling before Him as He claims my body. Lately He has been focusing on reclaiming my breast, which causes me to really focus on submitting. He pulls me into Him, so my face is smushed against His stomach, breathing in His scent. I am breathing deeply, becoming calm and focused.
Then it is over His knee, for the spanking part. He starts with His hand, for a short warm-up. Too soon, He is reaching for the bath brush. He starts off fairly slowly, but it quickly gets painful, more quickly than i expect. Maybe it is because i was just spanked on Monday. My legs start to kick up, and i get a warning that my thighs could be the target and i quiet my legs.
Master asks why we have maintenance, and i tell Him, to keep me on track, to remind me of my submissiveness, to keep from Him having to punish me.
The spanking is over fairly quickly, as Master's fingers start to roam. He likes to check to see if, at least part of me, is enjoying this. Of course He claims to find that evidence, and soon i am too busy asking for a permission to dispute that fact. After getting to the begging stage, i am granted a few permissions. We then quietly talk, as He rubs and massages and helps me to a safe "landing".
As i was sitting here earlier, thinking about this afternoon, all i could think of is how lucky i am. A Master who provides what i need, who takes care of me, who pushes me to be better, who has turned my life around, who has opened me to so many new ideas and sensations...
Thank You Master!
abby
Monday, February 28, 2011
Mondays report
Master and i are finally both back in town. My week with my granddaughter was lots of fun. She is bright, funny, caring, and entertaining...no i am not a biased grandma! But i am happy to be back, to be "me" again.
I weighed in this morning....plus 1 and 1/2 pounds. I was not surprised, but i hated to report to Master. For a second i thought...He would never know if.....but that was really not an option. So i gave Him my report, and He replied..we won't let this ruin your homecoming. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.
This afternoon we started off with hugs and some catching up talk. Master then went to get some "toys" and told me to kneel. So i did. He walked back in , looked at me, and said, "You are not naked?" I looked up and said i did not hear that...i really had not. I quickly got up, got naked and knelt back down. Master was re-claiming all of me, rubbing and massaging all of me, and i was slowly breathing Him in, relaxing, finding "me", and feeling like i had come back home. Then He starts in on my nipples. Stretching, pulling, tugging, smushing....pinching, and not letting go, reminding me to keep my hands behind me. I am starting to squirm, and He is pinching harder, finally he says, count to 5 loudly. I count loudly and very quickly. He looks and says too fast..and does not let go.... so i start again, just as loud, but much more slowly. He finally lets go of the nipples, and has me get up.
I go over His knee, for a wonderful long hand spanking. I am really back, it has been too long. Master's hand is all over my bottom, the spanks are quick and hard. His hand travels to my thighs, those spanks are not as hard, but are a reminder that He will spank me there, and i will feel it more.
His fingers then start to roam, to see if i am "enjoying" my spanking...and yes, of course i am. It takes less than 2 mimutes for Him to get me groaning and squirming, He is reminding me i need permission, and i still have the rest of my spanking to go before i get a permission.
He withdraws his fingers, and reaches for the bath brush. I tense a little, and He uses the bristle side all over. I instantly relax again. He says that this is not a Punishment, but a reminder that He is not pleased with the fact that i gained. He is fairly lightly spanking me, and He asks how far i am from my goal. I tell Him 2 and 1/2 pounds. He starts another round with the brush, this one harder and longer. When He is done He asks if i was expecting a basement trip, i honestly say no. I was expecting some type of punishment, but not all punishment. He says that round was for 1 pound, now for the second pound. I say i had only gained 1 1/2, He says but i am 2 1/2 away from my goal. This round is equally hard and long. Then a little more rubbing with the bristle side, til He starts in again for payment for the last 1/2 pound. This round is much harder, and i am ouching loudly by the end. Finally...it is the end.
Master's fingers are quickly picking up where they left off. I am still amazed at how quickly he can get me from 0 to full speed and asking for permissions. After my second permission, He reminds me that i am not using my manners and should be saying please and thank you...i can hardly breathe, but i manage to be polite. After my third permission, Master says to save one for tonight. I lay over His lap for a while, he is gently rubbing my bottom and i am coming back to earth, and so relaxed.
We end with more kneeling time, this time with my head on Master's lap, while we chat. He reminds me to start up my daily reports, and that i need to ask for permission before making plans to go away and be specific about how long and where i will be, and that 2 weeks is too long. It is too long, and hopefully those long trips will be at a minimum this year.
Master then says that He wants to schedul maintenance for Wednesday, since He wants to save Friday. (Friday is my birthday!)
I am back where i belong, i am breathing freely, my "voices" have been banished, my Master has worked His magic...Thank You Master!
abby
I weighed in this morning....plus 1 and 1/2 pounds. I was not surprised, but i hated to report to Master. For a second i thought...He would never know if.....but that was really not an option. So i gave Him my report, and He replied..we won't let this ruin your homecoming. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.
This afternoon we started off with hugs and some catching up talk. Master then went to get some "toys" and told me to kneel. So i did. He walked back in , looked at me, and said, "You are not naked?" I looked up and said i did not hear that...i really had not. I quickly got up, got naked and knelt back down. Master was re-claiming all of me, rubbing and massaging all of me, and i was slowly breathing Him in, relaxing, finding "me", and feeling like i had come back home. Then He starts in on my nipples. Stretching, pulling, tugging, smushing....pinching, and not letting go, reminding me to keep my hands behind me. I am starting to squirm, and He is pinching harder, finally he says, count to 5 loudly. I count loudly and very quickly. He looks and says too fast..and does not let go.... so i start again, just as loud, but much more slowly. He finally lets go of the nipples, and has me get up.
I go over His knee, for a wonderful long hand spanking. I am really back, it has been too long. Master's hand is all over my bottom, the spanks are quick and hard. His hand travels to my thighs, those spanks are not as hard, but are a reminder that He will spank me there, and i will feel it more.
His fingers then start to roam, to see if i am "enjoying" my spanking...and yes, of course i am. It takes less than 2 mimutes for Him to get me groaning and squirming, He is reminding me i need permission, and i still have the rest of my spanking to go before i get a permission.
He withdraws his fingers, and reaches for the bath brush. I tense a little, and He uses the bristle side all over. I instantly relax again. He says that this is not a Punishment, but a reminder that He is not pleased with the fact that i gained. He is fairly lightly spanking me, and He asks how far i am from my goal. I tell Him 2 and 1/2 pounds. He starts another round with the brush, this one harder and longer. When He is done He asks if i was expecting a basement trip, i honestly say no. I was expecting some type of punishment, but not all punishment. He says that round was for 1 pound, now for the second pound. I say i had only gained 1 1/2, He says but i am 2 1/2 away from my goal. This round is equally hard and long. Then a little more rubbing with the bristle side, til He starts in again for payment for the last 1/2 pound. This round is much harder, and i am ouching loudly by the end. Finally...it is the end.
Master's fingers are quickly picking up where they left off. I am still amazed at how quickly he can get me from 0 to full speed and asking for permissions. After my second permission, He reminds me that i am not using my manners and should be saying please and thank you...i can hardly breathe, but i manage to be polite. After my third permission, Master says to save one for tonight. I lay over His lap for a while, he is gently rubbing my bottom and i am coming back to earth, and so relaxed.
We end with more kneeling time, this time with my head on Master's lap, while we chat. He reminds me to start up my daily reports, and that i need to ask for permission before making plans to go away and be specific about how long and where i will be, and that 2 weeks is too long. It is too long, and hopefully those long trips will be at a minimum this year.
Master then says that He wants to schedul maintenance for Wednesday, since He wants to save Friday. (Friday is my birthday!)
I am back where i belong, i am breathing freely, my "voices" have been banished, my Master has worked His magic...Thank You Master!
abby
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
a "grandma" report
There was no Monday report this week, since there was no weigh in.
I am in NJ babysitting...um..playing with my almost 3 year old granddaughter.
On Sunday we went in to NYC, had lunch at a family style Italian restaurant...it was fabulous! We saw "Billy elliot"...fabulous again. It was a delightful adult day!
My granddaughter and i have been spending our days completing craft projects, playing games, being silly and baking. She loves the cooking part, has me read the recipes, and calls herself my assissitant chef. Today we made snaky hot dogs for lunch,,,a real hit. Then for an afternoon snack frozen chocolate sprinkled bananas...she was in charge of the sprinkles...only took me about an hour to clean her and the kitchen! But she could not wait to tell mom and dad about her day with grandma!
Hope you are having 1/2 as much fun as i am this week...
abby
I am in NJ babysitting...um..playing with my almost 3 year old granddaughter.
On Sunday we went in to NYC, had lunch at a family style Italian restaurant...it was fabulous! We saw "Billy elliot"...fabulous again. It was a delightful adult day!
My granddaughter and i have been spending our days completing craft projects, playing games, being silly and baking. She loves the cooking part, has me read the recipes, and calls herself my assissitant chef. Today we made snaky hot dogs for lunch,,,a real hit. Then for an afternoon snack frozen chocolate sprinkled bananas...she was in charge of the sprinkles...only took me about an hour to clean her and the kitchen! But she could not wait to tell mom and dad about her day with grandma!
Hope you are having 1/2 as much fun as i am this week...
abby
Friday, February 18, 2011
TGIF
It's been a draggy kind of week. When Master is away the days seem longer. I always start by telling myself i won't miss Him as much this time...and it seems i miss Him more.
On the bright said, giving the whoopie pies a new home was a great idea. I weighed in this morning and loss the pound and a half i had gained on Monday! So i am back to 1 pound away from my goal!
Problem is, i am leaveing early tomorrow morning (yes before Master returns), for NJ to spend some time with my almost 3...going on at least 12...year old grand daughter. She is one of those innately funny little ones, who constantly surprises you. She cannot wait to see what "grandma" has planned for our cooking time each day! (alphabet bread sticks, silly snake dogs, bunny pancakes, crackerpillars are a few of the goodies!)
On Sunday my daughter and son in law are taking me to NYC for lunch and a show...an early birthday gift! I love musicals, so i am really looking forward to it.
Be good all....well not necessarily good....lol
hugs, abby
On the bright said, giving the whoopie pies a new home was a great idea. I weighed in this morning and loss the pound and a half i had gained on Monday! So i am back to 1 pound away from my goal!
Problem is, i am leaveing early tomorrow morning (yes before Master returns), for NJ to spend some time with my almost 3...going on at least 12...year old grand daughter. She is one of those innately funny little ones, who constantly surprises you. She cannot wait to see what "grandma" has planned for our cooking time each day! (alphabet bread sticks, silly snake dogs, bunny pancakes, crackerpillars are a few of the goodies!)
On Sunday my daughter and son in law are taking me to NYC for lunch and a show...an early birthday gift! I love musicals, so i am really looking forward to it.
Be good all....well not necessarily good....lol
hugs, abby
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Rules and Expectations
There are lots of reasons i am glad i discovered blogs. One of them is how interesting it is to read how others structure their relationships. I know that each of us has to find our own way, and we have our unique way of exercising this power exchange. I often find myself thinking, wow, i could never ...or hmmm..maybe i should try hinting to Master. Since Master is away and i am a little bored, i thought i would share with all of you my rules and expectations, and how they came to be. I have been thinking about this all day, a little worried that i might forget one..or two...and Master would find a way to remind me...but here goes.
I have rules and expectations. Once in a while Master will say...don't make Me make that a rule. Early on, i would think what's the difference. The difference is a rule is more like enforced submission, an expectation is freely given. Broken rules mean punishment, unmet expectations bring about disappointment...for both of us.
My rules have developed over time. I am going to try to give them in chronological order.
1. Master gets an emailed report every night. This was a rule even before we started with D/s. He was helping me to exercise and lose weight for my daughter's wedding. My report was really simply a food journal that i mailed to Him, nightly. I still send Him that food journal, but i now add any news or parts of my day we have no discussed, how much time on the wii, if i have taken my meds, and what task i have done for Him. Not sending one occasionally is not a big deal, missing 2 in a row is a big deal. I also have to report my weigh-in. We started with once a week, it is now twice, Mondays and Fridays. I keep asking to go back to once, but looks like that will not happen.
2. When we moved to M/s the first rule was: no cumming without persmission. If i was on my own, or with Him. I have not been punished for breaking this rule in quite a while. I learned quickly that this was an important one for Him, always Punishable. I also quickly learned that saying "no thanks" when He text me to cum, was positively not a good idea!
3. "Queen of Sarcasm" was a nicknamed i earned in many circles. It was a good survival tool in my junior high classroom. Respect and NO sarcasm allowed was also one of my first rules. I will admit it took me a while to learn that saying some things just in your head is a great strategy. I still occasionally struggle with attitude, i don't view that as a matter of disrespect, Master disagrees.
4. I am to keep myself "clean shaven". Master shaved me the first time, i was so embarrassed, but it was also so sexy! I wish He would do it again. The only time that i run into a problem with this one is when i am away for over a week. I tend to let it go, recently Master has surprised me be starting to ask for pictures.
5. A rule that Master started about a year and a half ago is that i have to ask for permission before i drive any place. If i want to walk, i can go, otherwise, i ask. This rule started when i got into trouble for deciding that since i did not think that Master was interested, i did not need to continue with certain rules. He was not pleased, go figure! So this rule resulted, He explained we would be in touch more during the day, and i would be reminded that i am not in charge. It sounds more restrictive than it is, actually. I just about never get a no, and He is very good at quickly replying to my texts. Yes i have to ask even if i am away, or if i have company here.
An expectation was added to this rule, when Master thought i was taking advantage of a possible loop hole. I would ask for permission for as many places as i wanted to go to, and if i did not get to all of them, i figured i had permission for the next day...or whenever. Master noticed, so i now also text Him if i do not get to all the places i asked permission for. Also, no blanket....can i go run errands...i need to be specific. This rule/expectation really does remind me very day that i am not in charge.
6. An expectation is that i text Him a good night message every night. This started when i was struggling with something and Master would text me before bed, to sleep well or to "tuck me in". I liked ending my day that way, so it is now an expectation that i text Him before bed.
7. Master expects me to set up a time for maintenace spankings that occur once a week. Maintenance spankings started almost a year ago, when i emailed Master about feelings of "neediness" and my "voices". His answer was maintenance. To be honest, i was not sure how long it would last, but i should learn to not doubt. Every week that we are both in town, there is maintenance, even if there has been a punishment or reward or just some fun times. I am to set it up, as a way of getting better at asking for what i need. I am not sure that is happening, but setting up maintenance is getting easier for me.
I think i have covered everything....hmmm i hope so!
abby
I have rules and expectations. Once in a while Master will say...don't make Me make that a rule. Early on, i would think what's the difference. The difference is a rule is more like enforced submission, an expectation is freely given. Broken rules mean punishment, unmet expectations bring about disappointment...for both of us.
My rules have developed over time. I am going to try to give them in chronological order.
1. Master gets an emailed report every night. This was a rule even before we started with D/s. He was helping me to exercise and lose weight for my daughter's wedding. My report was really simply a food journal that i mailed to Him, nightly. I still send Him that food journal, but i now add any news or parts of my day we have no discussed, how much time on the wii, if i have taken my meds, and what task i have done for Him. Not sending one occasionally is not a big deal, missing 2 in a row is a big deal. I also have to report my weigh-in. We started with once a week, it is now twice, Mondays and Fridays. I keep asking to go back to once, but looks like that will not happen.
2. When we moved to M/s the first rule was: no cumming without persmission. If i was on my own, or with Him. I have not been punished for breaking this rule in quite a while. I learned quickly that this was an important one for Him, always Punishable. I also quickly learned that saying "no thanks" when He text me to cum, was positively not a good idea!
3. "Queen of Sarcasm" was a nicknamed i earned in many circles. It was a good survival tool in my junior high classroom. Respect and NO sarcasm allowed was also one of my first rules. I will admit it took me a while to learn that saying some things just in your head is a great strategy. I still occasionally struggle with attitude, i don't view that as a matter of disrespect, Master disagrees.
4. I am to keep myself "clean shaven". Master shaved me the first time, i was so embarrassed, but it was also so sexy! I wish He would do it again. The only time that i run into a problem with this one is when i am away for over a week. I tend to let it go, recently Master has surprised me be starting to ask for pictures.
5. A rule that Master started about a year and a half ago is that i have to ask for permission before i drive any place. If i want to walk, i can go, otherwise, i ask. This rule started when i got into trouble for deciding that since i did not think that Master was interested, i did not need to continue with certain rules. He was not pleased, go figure! So this rule resulted, He explained we would be in touch more during the day, and i would be reminded that i am not in charge. It sounds more restrictive than it is, actually. I just about never get a no, and He is very good at quickly replying to my texts. Yes i have to ask even if i am away, or if i have company here.
An expectation was added to this rule, when Master thought i was taking advantage of a possible loop hole. I would ask for permission for as many places as i wanted to go to, and if i did not get to all of them, i figured i had permission for the next day...or whenever. Master noticed, so i now also text Him if i do not get to all the places i asked permission for. Also, no blanket....can i go run errands...i need to be specific. This rule/expectation really does remind me very day that i am not in charge.
6. An expectation is that i text Him a good night message every night. This started when i was struggling with something and Master would text me before bed, to sleep well or to "tuck me in". I liked ending my day that way, so it is now an expectation that i text Him before bed.
7. Master expects me to set up a time for maintenace spankings that occur once a week. Maintenance spankings started almost a year ago, when i emailed Master about feelings of "neediness" and my "voices". His answer was maintenance. To be honest, i was not sure how long it would last, but i should learn to not doubt. Every week that we are both in town, there is maintenance, even if there has been a punishment or reward or just some fun times. I am to set it up, as a way of getting better at asking for what i need. I am not sure that is happening, but setting up maintenance is getting easier for me.
I think i have covered everything....hmmm i hope so!
abby
Monday, February 14, 2011
Whoopie Pies!!!
Master is away this week, and although i miss Him already, I had a not so good weigh in this morning, so i have this week to make it up.
It is not really my fault. I am blaming it on the whoopie pies! For those of you not from New England or more specifically, Maine, whoopie pies, are related to devil dogs. They have nothing to do with making whoopie, althought they are almost as good! They are traditionally a soft, moist chocolate cookie cake top and bottom filled with a rich sweet vanilla buttercream frosting. (See why it is all their fault!)
My wonderful son and daughter in law in Boston sent me a package from Wicked Whooppie Pies for Valentine's day. Now i have never tasted a bakery or store bought whoopie pie that comes close to the home made ones. The home made ones are the kind of recipe that takes all afternoon, and dirties everyting in the kitchen...but soo worth it.
Anyway, i tasted one of the these Wicked ones...and OH MY...heavenly!!!
And, they had the traditional ones, some with a chocolate chip cookie, a double chocolate one, and a maple one....all to die for. The were also huge...like at least twice the size of the ones i would make. Seeing their size i decided i would only eat 1/2....at a time. And of course i had to taste each of the varieties...they were a gift! Did i mention that when i finally decided to check on the calorie count...800 per pie...that would be 400 for each half i enjoyed.
So this morning i packed up the rest of those tasty treats and sent them with my daughter to share with the family she nannies for...and to keep them there!
May you someday get to taste a "wicked whoopie pie"....amd may i be satisfied with just the memory for a long time to come!
abby
It is not really my fault. I am blaming it on the whoopie pies! For those of you not from New England or more specifically, Maine, whoopie pies, are related to devil dogs. They have nothing to do with making whoopie, althought they are almost as good! They are traditionally a soft, moist chocolate cookie cake top and bottom filled with a rich sweet vanilla buttercream frosting. (See why it is all their fault!)
My wonderful son and daughter in law in Boston sent me a package from Wicked Whooppie Pies for Valentine's day. Now i have never tasted a bakery or store bought whoopie pie that comes close to the home made ones. The home made ones are the kind of recipe that takes all afternoon, and dirties everyting in the kitchen...but soo worth it.
Anyway, i tasted one of the these Wicked ones...and OH MY...heavenly!!!
And, they had the traditional ones, some with a chocolate chip cookie, a double chocolate one, and a maple one....all to die for. The were also huge...like at least twice the size of the ones i would make. Seeing their size i decided i would only eat 1/2....at a time. And of course i had to taste each of the varieties...they were a gift! Did i mention that when i finally decided to check on the calorie count...800 per pie...that would be 400 for each half i enjoyed.
So this morning i packed up the rest of those tasty treats and sent them with my daughter to share with the family she nannies for...and to keep them there!
May you someday get to taste a "wicked whoopie pie"....amd may i be satisfied with just the memory for a long time to come!
abby
Thursday, February 10, 2011
i hate thinking up titles.....
Sorry, but i have been sitting here trying to think of some different way to say Maintenance day...and i give up.
When i spoke to Master this morning, i metioned that we still had to have a maintenance day this week. I am supposed to check schedules and make sure that maintenance happens....otherwise, maintenance becomes the dreaded P word. I was expecting Him to say Friday afternoon, which was great with me, since i am still sore from My Punishment spanking on Tuesday. Of course, what He said was, this afternoon.
After our greetings and chat, i casually said that You will have to take it easy,l i am still sore from Tuesday, He chuckled, and said, i guess you should not earn a punishment spanking then. As i looked, there it was, the bath brush. He did start off with His hand, which i was able to relax into and let go. When He switched to that %^%$# bath brush, it took only a very few strokes, before my bottom was on fire. It was not the hardest maintenance spanking i have ever had, but it did not need to be. He gave me 2 quick sets, of maybe 30 or 40 each...i always try to count and never manage to be able to.
Then it was play time...the heat on my bottom, being replaced with heat some place much more enjoyable! i even got a permission to take home with me. We also talked about the next 2 weeks, Master is gone for week one and i will be gone by the time He returns for the next week. He always reminds me...not matter where He is or i am....He is still my Master I am still His....His submissive...Only His...Totally His....sometimes 2 weeks seems like a very long time.
abby
When i spoke to Master this morning, i metioned that we still had to have a maintenance day this week. I am supposed to check schedules and make sure that maintenance happens....otherwise, maintenance becomes the dreaded P word. I was expecting Him to say Friday afternoon, which was great with me, since i am still sore from My Punishment spanking on Tuesday. Of course, what He said was, this afternoon.
After our greetings and chat, i casually said that You will have to take it easy,l i am still sore from Tuesday, He chuckled, and said, i guess you should not earn a punishment spanking then. As i looked, there it was, the bath brush. He did start off with His hand, which i was able to relax into and let go. When He switched to that %^%$# bath brush, it took only a very few strokes, before my bottom was on fire. It was not the hardest maintenance spanking i have ever had, but it did not need to be. He gave me 2 quick sets, of maybe 30 or 40 each...i always try to count and never manage to be able to.
Then it was play time...the heat on my bottom, being replaced with heat some place much more enjoyable! i even got a permission to take home with me. We also talked about the next 2 weeks, Master is gone for week one and i will be gone by the time He returns for the next week. He always reminds me...not matter where He is or i am....He is still my Master I am still His....His submissive...Only His...Totally His....sometimes 2 weeks seems like a very long time.
abby
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
scratch one New Year's resolution
My new year's resolution to submit more gracefully came to an end today. I am sitting with a very sore bottom, and shaking my head at my actions this afternoon. Attitude..i had it, stubborness...yes that too....submission...sadly, not so much.
When i text Master this morning about my plans for this afternoon, He told me He would let me know if i had permission, depending on what time He would be available. He knew i wanted to be some place at 3, by 2:30 i had not heard from Him, so i called and said i would be late and might not make it at all. He text me at 2:45 what i was doing? I replied waiting, but i was not happy...What did He think i was doing? Was He testing me? My already not so great mood, took a definate turn for the worse.
I walked in asking, not so nicely, if this afternoon was a test? Did He expect to find me gone? Would that have been OK? His raised eye brow and quick reply should have warned me. But sometimes , a girl is too far gone to heed a warning. He asked me what happened over the weekend that i gained 2 pounds. After a hesitation, i simply said i don't know.
He held the basement door open and pointed. I hesitated, til i heard a loud NOW.
Master is an expert scolder. He is loud, He has a lot to say, and He makes His point very clear. I was told to lean over and grab the seat of a wooden chair, and NOT to let my hands leave that seat or He would start over. He pulled me pants/panties down. The first swat took my breath away. He does not stop scolding, just because He is spanking. The spanking was slow, but extremely hard...He was using a large peice of wood. I move my feet, He reminds me to keep my hand on the seat...my loud reply was they are there! He stopped to remind me that gaining 2 pounds over a weekend meant i did not even try, i put all my eating rules on a shelf. He does not believe in going backwards, and will not let me go backwards. Finally He said 3 more, pulled down my pants more and said if i moved my hands or feet, they would be on my thighs. When He announces only 3 more, it is a relief, but with the knowledge that will be the hardest ones yet. I managed to stay in place.
He then went over and brought over a rubber strap. He annnounced that if He was not pleased with Friday's report, He would be using the rubber strap in the basement. He gave me one swat with it...WOW. Granted it was on a sore bottom, but i do not ever want to feel that being used on my bottom by an angry Master. I asked if we were done, He allowed me to get up. He reminded me i had not said i was sorry, i replied i had in an email. He said not in person, so i said sorry, and went up the stairs, muttering it was only 2 pounds.
He stayed in the basement, when i reached the top He said He obviously had not done a good enough job, i needed to come back down. I did not want to, and said so. He waited a minute or so. I was not moving. He started to count, and self preservation kicked in and i went back down to Him. He had me back over the seat of the chair, but did not spank, He rubbed and talked. I started to calm down a little. He had me get up and sit in His lap, and we chatted about my attitude and my behavior. I had calmed a little, and we ended with some kneeling time.
Once back upstairs Master said He expects extra effort the rest of the week, to make up for the lost weekend.
Since i have been home, i have been trying to figure out, where all that ungracious submission came from. I have a few ideas, no real answers, but the attitude is gone, replaced with embarrassment. One month...my resolution lasted one month. So i start again...Master my resolution for the rest of this year is to submit more gratiously, to submit because i want to, because it will please You, because it is good for me.
It has been months since my last visit to the basement....hopefully it will be longer than that for my next one.
abby
When i text Master this morning about my plans for this afternoon, He told me He would let me know if i had permission, depending on what time He would be available. He knew i wanted to be some place at 3, by 2:30 i had not heard from Him, so i called and said i would be late and might not make it at all. He text me at 2:45 what i was doing? I replied waiting, but i was not happy...What did He think i was doing? Was He testing me? My already not so great mood, took a definate turn for the worse.
I walked in asking, not so nicely, if this afternoon was a test? Did He expect to find me gone? Would that have been OK? His raised eye brow and quick reply should have warned me. But sometimes , a girl is too far gone to heed a warning. He asked me what happened over the weekend that i gained 2 pounds. After a hesitation, i simply said i don't know.
He held the basement door open and pointed. I hesitated, til i heard a loud NOW.
Master is an expert scolder. He is loud, He has a lot to say, and He makes His point very clear. I was told to lean over and grab the seat of a wooden chair, and NOT to let my hands leave that seat or He would start over. He pulled me pants/panties down. The first swat took my breath away. He does not stop scolding, just because He is spanking. The spanking was slow, but extremely hard...He was using a large peice of wood. I move my feet, He reminds me to keep my hand on the seat...my loud reply was they are there! He stopped to remind me that gaining 2 pounds over a weekend meant i did not even try, i put all my eating rules on a shelf. He does not believe in going backwards, and will not let me go backwards. Finally He said 3 more, pulled down my pants more and said if i moved my hands or feet, they would be on my thighs. When He announces only 3 more, it is a relief, but with the knowledge that will be the hardest ones yet. I managed to stay in place.
He then went over and brought over a rubber strap. He annnounced that if He was not pleased with Friday's report, He would be using the rubber strap in the basement. He gave me one swat with it...WOW. Granted it was on a sore bottom, but i do not ever want to feel that being used on my bottom by an angry Master. I asked if we were done, He allowed me to get up. He reminded me i had not said i was sorry, i replied i had in an email. He said not in person, so i said sorry, and went up the stairs, muttering it was only 2 pounds.
He stayed in the basement, when i reached the top He said He obviously had not done a good enough job, i needed to come back down. I did not want to, and said so. He waited a minute or so. I was not moving. He started to count, and self preservation kicked in and i went back down to Him. He had me back over the seat of the chair, but did not spank, He rubbed and talked. I started to calm down a little. He had me get up and sit in His lap, and we chatted about my attitude and my behavior. I had calmed a little, and we ended with some kneeling time.
Once back upstairs Master said He expects extra effort the rest of the week, to make up for the lost weekend.
Since i have been home, i have been trying to figure out, where all that ungracious submission came from. I have a few ideas, no real answers, but the attitude is gone, replaced with embarrassment. One month...my resolution lasted one month. So i start again...Master my resolution for the rest of this year is to submit more gratiously, to submit because i want to, because it will please You, because it is good for me.
It has been months since my last visit to the basement....hopefully it will be longer than that for my next one.
abby
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday's (sad) report
More snow, more freezing temps, maybe i can blame them for my report this morning?
For the first time in quite a while i had to report a significant gain this morning. Significant as in, 2 pounds just over the weekend. I only had to lose 1/2 to get back to my goal, and i guess i decided 1/2 pound, i don't even have to try. My daughter made homemade pizza on Sunday, it is DEELISH...had it for lunch and dinner, when to a friend's birthday dinner on Sat....you can imagine part of that menu. I don't wii on the weekends.
It all adds up to a 2 pound gain.
I delayed reporting, then decided to text instead of calling...i know it doesn't change anything, except i don't have to hear His disappointment, and then His resolve to make sure i don't let this happen again for a LONG time. I text that i was sorry and would do better....His reply..Oh you WILL!
He got tied up at work this afternoon, so we did not meet. It's kind of a good news/bad news situation. Good news..i get a short reprieve and He gets a chance to cool down a little. Bad news...He made sure i knew i was not off the hook, i hate waiting for a punishment, i just want it done, and it gives Him time to think about how to make me really regret my lapse.
I will let you know how it goes...if i can sit at my computer...
abby
For the first time in quite a while i had to report a significant gain this morning. Significant as in, 2 pounds just over the weekend. I only had to lose 1/2 to get back to my goal, and i guess i decided 1/2 pound, i don't even have to try. My daughter made homemade pizza on Sunday, it is DEELISH...had it for lunch and dinner, when to a friend's birthday dinner on Sat....you can imagine part of that menu. I don't wii on the weekends.
It all adds up to a 2 pound gain.
I delayed reporting, then decided to text instead of calling...i know it doesn't change anything, except i don't have to hear His disappointment, and then His resolve to make sure i don't let this happen again for a LONG time. I text that i was sorry and would do better....His reply..Oh you WILL!
He got tied up at work this afternoon, so we did not meet. It's kind of a good news/bad news situation. Good news..i get a short reprieve and He gets a chance to cool down a little. Bad news...He made sure i knew i was not off the hook, i hate waiting for a punishment, i just want it done, and it gives Him time to think about how to make me really regret my lapse.
I will let you know how it goes...if i can sit at my computer...
abby
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Brrrr....weekend thoughts
I have always lived in an area where the 4 seasons expressed themselves with all their glory, and loved it. Except the past few years i have been wishing that winter would last at the most, 2 months, and maybe just over the holidays. It is snowing here again, and according to the weather people, it won't get above freezing this coming week. ENOUGH i say! (i have about as much power over the weather gods, as i do over master, so settle in for more winter).
The scale was good to me on Friday, i lost 1 pound. Only 1/2 to go til i am back to my goal weight, porbably not my final goal, but my most recent one. Master expects that to happen tomorrow.
Master is away for the weekend, and whenever He or i are away i usually feel somewhat uneasy. This weekend has been different. I had a "welcome home" and my maintenance spankings last week, and we spent some time on Friday just being together, chatting, and having Him remind me that no matter where each of us are, I am His...all of me...His submissive. For some reason that time on Friday seems to have made a difference.
I have felt His presence all weekend. I have been calm, and sure, no "voices", and looking forward to His return. It's only a weekend, but this time the "apartness" has not caused my "voices" to attempt a return. Maybe i am finally turning a corner, becoming a little more confident, understanding better what Master is always telling me. I hope so, because this feeling is much better than what i usually put myself through.
We will see, after this coming week, Master is away for a week, and i leave before He returns for a week...yeah that's 2 weeks to test my new "resolve". Hopefully what i have felt this weekend, will carry me through those 2 weeks.
Stay cozy and warm, i am going to finish a great book i am reading.
hugs, abby
The scale was good to me on Friday, i lost 1 pound. Only 1/2 to go til i am back to my goal weight, porbably not my final goal, but my most recent one. Master expects that to happen tomorrow.
Master is away for the weekend, and whenever He or i are away i usually feel somewhat uneasy. This weekend has been different. I had a "welcome home" and my maintenance spankings last week, and we spent some time on Friday just being together, chatting, and having Him remind me that no matter where each of us are, I am His...all of me...His submissive. For some reason that time on Friday seems to have made a difference.
I have felt His presence all weekend. I have been calm, and sure, no "voices", and looking forward to His return. It's only a weekend, but this time the "apartness" has not caused my "voices" to attempt a return. Maybe i am finally turning a corner, becoming a little more confident, understanding better what Master is always telling me. I hope so, because this feeling is much better than what i usually put myself through.
We will see, after this coming week, Master is away for a week, and i leave before He returns for a week...yeah that's 2 weeks to test my new "resolve". Hopefully what i have felt this weekend, will carry me through those 2 weeks.
Stay cozy and warm, i am going to finish a great book i am reading.
hugs, abby
Thursday, February 3, 2011
why is it so hard to ask?
I have been really "out of sorts" for the past 3 days...for no reason, for a lot of reasons. Besides some aggravations at home, i miss my dad, i am sick of the cold and snow, the diet is suffering, and i have been feeling not so submissive. UGH! I have mostly kept up with my rules and expectations, but not graciously. When i have called Master and He could not answer (at work) i hung up instead of leaving messages. My wonderful little "voices" were starting to gleefully return. UGH! UGH!
After playing phone tag a bit today Master and i finally connected. He could tell, He can always tell, after a very few words that i was not in a good place. I knew He was waiting for me to ask for my maintenance spanking. So i mumbled something like...do You have time today or tomorrow, if not that's OK. Silence on His end....that's never good. Finally, He asked if that was me asking for maintenance, for what i need.
I asked again, with a Sir and a please, and we agreed on a time for this afternoon.
We started maintenance almost a year ago...why is it sometimes still so hard for me to say the words...to ask for what i know i need, for what makes me a better submissive, for what i had wondered about for a long time. Most of the time it has become easier, but other times like today, i almost choke on the words. Master is always receptive, and has made it clear that not asking is not acceptable.
So we met, hugged, spanked, "played", and talked. He had me repeat why We started maintenance....to keep me focused, to help avoid Punishment spankings, to keep Us connected...all good things!
Tonight i am calmer, more content, feeling more like His submissive. I am dreading my weigh in tomorrow, i had been told i had a week to lose 11/2 pounds....by this Monday. That leaves the weekend, and i don't think i made much progress this week. Wish me luck... and a scale that likes me!
abby
After playing phone tag a bit today Master and i finally connected. He could tell, He can always tell, after a very few words that i was not in a good place. I knew He was waiting for me to ask for my maintenance spanking. So i mumbled something like...do You have time today or tomorrow, if not that's OK. Silence on His end....that's never good. Finally, He asked if that was me asking for maintenance, for what i need.
I asked again, with a Sir and a please, and we agreed on a time for this afternoon.
We started maintenance almost a year ago...why is it sometimes still so hard for me to say the words...to ask for what i know i need, for what makes me a better submissive, for what i had wondered about for a long time. Most of the time it has become easier, but other times like today, i almost choke on the words. Master is always receptive, and has made it clear that not asking is not acceptable.
So we met, hugged, spanked, "played", and talked. He had me repeat why We started maintenance....to keep me focused, to help avoid Punishment spankings, to keep Us connected...all good things!
Tonight i am calmer, more content, feeling more like His submissive. I am dreading my weigh in tomorrow, i had been told i had a week to lose 11/2 pounds....by this Monday. That leaves the weekend, and i don't think i made much progress this week. Wish me luck... and a scale that likes me!
abby
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