Master re-set me this afternoon...that's His word for it. I am sitting here stripes on my thighs, my breast, and of course my bottom...a bottom that is still burning.
My weigh-in last Friday was a 1 pound lost...I was happy, but even more surprised! I had those munchies and chocolate cravings all week, I got a mixed basket of Godiva from one granddaughter and a whoopie pie package from the other. I had not sent in a daily report, since I was "indulging". A 1 pound lost was almost a miracle, I should have thanked the diet gods and got back on track.
I had a girls' nite out on Saturday, we saw a show, went out to dinner, then to a house for chocolate martinis and munchies. Sunday was mother's day...enough said.
The diet gods left me to my own fate, and I gained 2 pounds on Monday.
So, today was my day of reckoning, I got re-set.
After my welcoming hug, Master commented on how quiet I was. I replied that I was not in the mood to be spanked. "You are in for more than a spanking,"....I replied that "I am even less in a mood for that." My mood was noted, then ignored.
After some kneeling time, Master announced that I would be getting a hand warm-up, and then a long caning...good news/bad news.
Master sat on an ottoman as I went over His lap, He wanted my hands and feet on the ground. The warm-up was long and harder as it continued. It also served to relax me and change my mood. I knew the warm up was a gift, since I rarely get one before a punishment, and this was a very thorough one.
I was then told to put my hands on the ottoman, stick my bottom out, and spread my legs. There is no gentle way to start a caning. (or continue one or finish one.) Master was striping me in sets of 6. I am not sure how many sets, I was busy breathing and staying in position. I did not want Him to have to start over! I felt Him tap my thighs and a "no" came out of me.
Master had me stand, and asked me....what part of You belongs to Me. The only answer to that question is all of me , Sir. My thighs were His target, 4 quick ones. He then told me to stretch my arms in front of me, palms up, and used the cane on my palms. I pulled them away, He told me to put them back, and I did for one more swish of the cane. I moved them away, but quickly put them back without being told.
Master then told me to present my breast to Him. I hesitated, He repeated. I held them up, a little. I was told to push them together and stretch them out. I did and closed my eyes, I had never been caned on my breast, and I am not fond of any breast play. Master gave me 4 strokes of the cane, and I survived. He then asked the question again, what part of me belongs to Him. Without any hesitation, I gave Him the correct reply.
I was then told to kneel down. I did, in position, eyes closed. I heard Master tell me to open my eyes, He was kneeling in front of me. After some gentle touching and caressing I was calm, and so sure that I am His, that all I want is to please this special man. He then asked me if I was happy with where I was or if I wanted to try for more. I gave it a little thought, I knew that He would accept any answer I decided on. I said that I was happier with myself than I was when we first started, but yes, I would love to lose more. Master said give me 10 more pounds, and really give it your all. No going backwards, no waffling, just do it, and then You will stay put for a while. I agreed, and then He said it was time to finish my caning.
Words I did not want to hear. You know what that means, He continued, I nodded....these would be the hardest ones. He told me to get back over the ottoman, I hesitated for a minute, He said no hesitation, I do not like hesitation. Over the ottoman I went, trying to prepare myself.
The first 6 had me hanging on, and panting and ouching very loudly. Then the next 5 and just as I was feeling a small sense of relief, I felt the cane on my thighs. Master asked, should the last one be here. I replied No Sir, but it was not the answer He was looking for. Any place You want Sir, was the correct answer, one I finally said. He tapped my thighs and pulled back, I was holding my breath, this was bound to be the hardest one yet, and He swung at... my bottom, and not any harder than the others had been....not that they were not hard enough. I quickly spit out a Thank You Sir.
I got up to hugs. Master then told me to get over His lap. I quickly complied. He said, no hesitation, that is what I always want, no thinking, just acting. You can think after You do what I say. After some rubbing and quiet chatting Master had me get up. I do not get to cum after a punishment, or now a re-setting. After more hugs, I got reading to leave. I left a much calmer, submissive, satisfied "young lady".
abby
Showing posts with label punishment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label punishment. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
scratch one New Year's resolution
My new year's resolution to submit more gracefully came to an end today. I am sitting with a very sore bottom, and shaking my head at my actions this afternoon. Attitude..i had it, stubborness...yes that too....submission...sadly, not so much.
When i text Master this morning about my plans for this afternoon, He told me He would let me know if i had permission, depending on what time He would be available. He knew i wanted to be some place at 3, by 2:30 i had not heard from Him, so i called and said i would be late and might not make it at all. He text me at 2:45 what i was doing? I replied waiting, but i was not happy...What did He think i was doing? Was He testing me? My already not so great mood, took a definate turn for the worse.
I walked in asking, not so nicely, if this afternoon was a test? Did He expect to find me gone? Would that have been OK? His raised eye brow and quick reply should have warned me. But sometimes , a girl is too far gone to heed a warning. He asked me what happened over the weekend that i gained 2 pounds. After a hesitation, i simply said i don't know.
He held the basement door open and pointed. I hesitated, til i heard a loud NOW.
Master is an expert scolder. He is loud, He has a lot to say, and He makes His point very clear. I was told to lean over and grab the seat of a wooden chair, and NOT to let my hands leave that seat or He would start over. He pulled me pants/panties down. The first swat took my breath away. He does not stop scolding, just because He is spanking. The spanking was slow, but extremely hard...He was using a large peice of wood. I move my feet, He reminds me to keep my hand on the seat...my loud reply was they are there! He stopped to remind me that gaining 2 pounds over a weekend meant i did not even try, i put all my eating rules on a shelf. He does not believe in going backwards, and will not let me go backwards. Finally He said 3 more, pulled down my pants more and said if i moved my hands or feet, they would be on my thighs. When He announces only 3 more, it is a relief, but with the knowledge that will be the hardest ones yet. I managed to stay in place.
He then went over and brought over a rubber strap. He annnounced that if He was not pleased with Friday's report, He would be using the rubber strap in the basement. He gave me one swat with it...WOW. Granted it was on a sore bottom, but i do not ever want to feel that being used on my bottom by an angry Master. I asked if we were done, He allowed me to get up. He reminded me i had not said i was sorry, i replied i had in an email. He said not in person, so i said sorry, and went up the stairs, muttering it was only 2 pounds.
He stayed in the basement, when i reached the top He said He obviously had not done a good enough job, i needed to come back down. I did not want to, and said so. He waited a minute or so. I was not moving. He started to count, and self preservation kicked in and i went back down to Him. He had me back over the seat of the chair, but did not spank, He rubbed and talked. I started to calm down a little. He had me get up and sit in His lap, and we chatted about my attitude and my behavior. I had calmed a little, and we ended with some kneeling time.
Once back upstairs Master said He expects extra effort the rest of the week, to make up for the lost weekend.
Since i have been home, i have been trying to figure out, where all that ungracious submission came from. I have a few ideas, no real answers, but the attitude is gone, replaced with embarrassment. One month...my resolution lasted one month. So i start again...Master my resolution for the rest of this year is to submit more gratiously, to submit because i want to, because it will please You, because it is good for me.
It has been months since my last visit to the basement....hopefully it will be longer than that for my next one.
abby
When i text Master this morning about my plans for this afternoon, He told me He would let me know if i had permission, depending on what time He would be available. He knew i wanted to be some place at 3, by 2:30 i had not heard from Him, so i called and said i would be late and might not make it at all. He text me at 2:45 what i was doing? I replied waiting, but i was not happy...What did He think i was doing? Was He testing me? My already not so great mood, took a definate turn for the worse.
I walked in asking, not so nicely, if this afternoon was a test? Did He expect to find me gone? Would that have been OK? His raised eye brow and quick reply should have warned me. But sometimes , a girl is too far gone to heed a warning. He asked me what happened over the weekend that i gained 2 pounds. After a hesitation, i simply said i don't know.
He held the basement door open and pointed. I hesitated, til i heard a loud NOW.
Master is an expert scolder. He is loud, He has a lot to say, and He makes His point very clear. I was told to lean over and grab the seat of a wooden chair, and NOT to let my hands leave that seat or He would start over. He pulled me pants/panties down. The first swat took my breath away. He does not stop scolding, just because He is spanking. The spanking was slow, but extremely hard...He was using a large peice of wood. I move my feet, He reminds me to keep my hand on the seat...my loud reply was they are there! He stopped to remind me that gaining 2 pounds over a weekend meant i did not even try, i put all my eating rules on a shelf. He does not believe in going backwards, and will not let me go backwards. Finally He said 3 more, pulled down my pants more and said if i moved my hands or feet, they would be on my thighs. When He announces only 3 more, it is a relief, but with the knowledge that will be the hardest ones yet. I managed to stay in place.
He then went over and brought over a rubber strap. He annnounced that if He was not pleased with Friday's report, He would be using the rubber strap in the basement. He gave me one swat with it...WOW. Granted it was on a sore bottom, but i do not ever want to feel that being used on my bottom by an angry Master. I asked if we were done, He allowed me to get up. He reminded me i had not said i was sorry, i replied i had in an email. He said not in person, so i said sorry, and went up the stairs, muttering it was only 2 pounds.
He stayed in the basement, when i reached the top He said He obviously had not done a good enough job, i needed to come back down. I did not want to, and said so. He waited a minute or so. I was not moving. He started to count, and self preservation kicked in and i went back down to Him. He had me back over the seat of the chair, but did not spank, He rubbed and talked. I started to calm down a little. He had me get up and sit in His lap, and we chatted about my attitude and my behavior. I had calmed a little, and we ended with some kneeling time.
Once back upstairs Master said He expects extra effort the rest of the week, to make up for the lost weekend.
Since i have been home, i have been trying to figure out, where all that ungracious submission came from. I have a few ideas, no real answers, but the attitude is gone, replaced with embarrassment. One month...my resolution lasted one month. So i start again...Master my resolution for the rest of this year is to submit more gratiously, to submit because i want to, because it will please You, because it is good for me.
It has been months since my last visit to the basement....hopefully it will be longer than that for my next one.
abby
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
sore bottom, content heart
I went to bed last night knowing Master was very much not pleased...not the way to get a good night's sleep. I got a text message on my cel this morning (while i was in the shower), to get myself to Him NOW. It took me less than 10 minutes to get myself together.
He always has such a look of disappointment when he greets me for a punishment. We barely chatted, i was wondering what He had in mind. To my relief (short lived as it was), we were not headed for the basement. Basement punishments are the worse. I got to be over his lap, which at least offers a little comfort. He wanted to know what led up to the disastrous phone call. After i explained He reminded me that i go to Him for help with problems, but DO NOT take out my frustrations on Him, in tone or words. I, of course know this, and have been better at it, but those darn "little voices"....which Master intended to banish far away.
It was a no warm up, bare bottomed, hair brush paddling....hard from the start. It only took a quick round to get me squirming and kicking..not good things. At one point He warned me that he would get rope and tie my legs if they kicked high enough to touch His hand again, and that He would add to what i was already going to get. My bottom was on fire, but i did manage to just drum my feet, and not raise them into a kick.
It seemed like He had no intention of stopping. I was ouching and squirming and trying to "scoot" away. He finally said if i did not settle, He would change His target to my thighs...and as much as my bottom was hurting, i knew my thighs would hurt much worse. He was determined i would remember this spanking for a long, long time....it was the hardest he has spanked me in a long while. Finally, after many sorries, and being close to tears, He stops and we chat a little. One of my answers, gets me 6 light taps on my thighs...enough to re-focus me. Finally He says i may get up.
Foolish me, i heaved a sigh of relief....Master then tells me to bend over the back of the sofa, bottom high up in the air. I HATE that position.
He looks at me and reminds me that having Him repeat a request is not a good idea. I get over the back of the sofa, and He is holding a cane. My bottom is so sore, just walking to get in position was no fun. I am over the sofa, feet still on the ground, when i hear the swish, and feel the sting, the burn, the stripe. I do move around a little during the first set, but do not get up. I am then told to get over feet off the ground, bottom way up. If i am good and stay in position, i will only get 12 more. I am not sure i can do it, but i also know, that my bottom is throbbing, and i don't want any more. I do manage to stay in place, and after another 12 He is finished. I am told to stay in place, while He looks at His "handi work".
"Debt paid" He says. We hug and chat a bit. I ask for permission to go to the mall to get one last gift. Yes, is His reply, but i am to walk the whole mall while i am there. He never misses an opportunity to get me to get some exercise in.
This afternoon, driving to the mall was extremely uncomfortable. My bottom is still very sore as i am sitting here...that is unusual for me. But, what i realized as i was walking around the mall.....as sore as my bottom is...the rest of me is at peace. No long battles, no grudges, just contentment. I am not sure how or why that works for me, but i am very glad that i found someone who understands that it does, is consistent in words and deeds, and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep "me" where i am whole, happy and calm. Life is good....
abby
He always has such a look of disappointment when he greets me for a punishment. We barely chatted, i was wondering what He had in mind. To my relief (short lived as it was), we were not headed for the basement. Basement punishments are the worse. I got to be over his lap, which at least offers a little comfort. He wanted to know what led up to the disastrous phone call. After i explained He reminded me that i go to Him for help with problems, but DO NOT take out my frustrations on Him, in tone or words. I, of course know this, and have been better at it, but those darn "little voices"....which Master intended to banish far away.
It was a no warm up, bare bottomed, hair brush paddling....hard from the start. It only took a quick round to get me squirming and kicking..not good things. At one point He warned me that he would get rope and tie my legs if they kicked high enough to touch His hand again, and that He would add to what i was already going to get. My bottom was on fire, but i did manage to just drum my feet, and not raise them into a kick.
It seemed like He had no intention of stopping. I was ouching and squirming and trying to "scoot" away. He finally said if i did not settle, He would change His target to my thighs...and as much as my bottom was hurting, i knew my thighs would hurt much worse. He was determined i would remember this spanking for a long, long time....it was the hardest he has spanked me in a long while. Finally, after many sorries, and being close to tears, He stops and we chat a little. One of my answers, gets me 6 light taps on my thighs...enough to re-focus me. Finally He says i may get up.
Foolish me, i heaved a sigh of relief....Master then tells me to bend over the back of the sofa, bottom high up in the air. I HATE that position.
He looks at me and reminds me that having Him repeat a request is not a good idea. I get over the back of the sofa, and He is holding a cane. My bottom is so sore, just walking to get in position was no fun. I am over the sofa, feet still on the ground, when i hear the swish, and feel the sting, the burn, the stripe. I do move around a little during the first set, but do not get up. I am then told to get over feet off the ground, bottom way up. If i am good and stay in position, i will only get 12 more. I am not sure i can do it, but i also know, that my bottom is throbbing, and i don't want any more. I do manage to stay in place, and after another 12 He is finished. I am told to stay in place, while He looks at His "handi work".
"Debt paid" He says. We hug and chat a bit. I ask for permission to go to the mall to get one last gift. Yes, is His reply, but i am to walk the whole mall while i am there. He never misses an opportunity to get me to get some exercise in.
This afternoon, driving to the mall was extremely uncomfortable. My bottom is still very sore as i am sitting here...that is unusual for me. But, what i realized as i was walking around the mall.....as sore as my bottom is...the rest of me is at peace. No long battles, no grudges, just contentment. I am not sure how or why that works for me, but i am very glad that i found someone who understands that it does, is consistent in words and deeds, and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep "me" where i am whole, happy and calm. Life is good....
abby
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
capital P
Master automatically gets a copy of my postings on this blog. I had thought about blogging, but Master is the one that got me actually doing it. He offered to not read what i post, if i wanted a private place to write. It was my choice to have the entries sent to Him, hoping it would help me be more open with Him, and communicate better. I was tempted to not send yesterday's post, but i did, and i am glad that i did.
Master and i got together this afternoon. I knew He was not all that happy with me. My weigh-in was a gain..although a little less than 1 pound, over a long weekend, and with my grand-daughter here...none of which He considers acceptable excuses. I had started to communicate less over the weekend, and i was letting those darn little voices get the best of me.
It was one of those, i know what i need, i just don't want it today, feelings. He greeted me with "in a funk, are you?" I said you read my blog....He replied He knew before He read it. I was more than a little worried about what he had in mind. I never know exactly what He is planning ahead of time.
I should have known and trusted, He knew exactly what i needed. First some kneeling time, during which He reminded me that i am His submissive 24/7, even when i am entertaining a grandchild, or am away from home. He allows me certain "freedoms", but i need to remember that i am always His submissive. During this time, He is rubbing, massaging and re-claiming every part of my body. He reminds me that feeling needy is not a bad thing, it is ok with Him that i need Him. I expalain that i hate to be whiny, and He points out they are not the same. He is here for me.
Then it was over His lap, for a long hand warm-up. I was relaxing into it, and thinking...hmm..maybe this will be a "nice" session. Then he shows me a paint stick, i had never been spanked with a paint stick. To be honest, it was a little like "tapping" my bottom. Even Master chuckled a little at my non-reaction. So He went back to His hand...much more effective. He concentrated on one spot for a very long time, til i was really squirming, then He asked, what happens here? (same spot, next "cheek"). "The same", i asnwered, He is very symmetrical. After both sides had received their equal treatment, He put a swat on my thighs. I HATE being spanked on my thighs, and reacted by putting my legs up. I got a warning, they stay down or we start over. I thought, so this is the punishment part.
I hear Him say, enough of a warm-up. Warm-up?? I thought we were done. He told me to put my hands on the seat of the chair, bottom up. I hear Him taking off his belt. He asks me why He is taking off His belt, instead of moving on to something more enjoyable. I reply, because i gained..even though it was less than 1 pound. I am reminded, gaining is not an option, He does not give up, and does not allow me to give up. I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but it was a lot, and i was struggling to stay in place. He was not going easy on me, no rubbing, no rests, no kind words, just punishment.
Finally, He says i may get up. I ask if i may get dressed, the answer is no...i may go over to the back of the chair, and lean into the chair, feet way off the ground, head on the seat. I wait, He repeats what He wants, with a warning, that He does not like to repeat Himself. It is an uncomfortable, revealing, and a new position for me.
Worst, i quickly realize that my thighs are once again His target. After 2 swats i stand up...something i have not done in a long time. I am told to get back in position, with a warning, He will start over. Two more swats and i am out of position again..complaining that it hurts...DUH! He says He is starting over, and at this rate, I will get many more than He planned. I get back in position, and get maybe 10 more..before i am pleading that it is enough. He does stop, and has me get up, to get a hug.
Punishment used to be a much bigger part of our dynamic than it is now. They were also much harsher. I think we both were "testing". It has been a while since Master has felt the need to Punish me...notice the capital P. It was what i needed today, i am once again focused on what is important, those pesky little voices have been banished, and my bottom and thighs are telling me...enough sitting!
Since i am leaving Friday for another babysitting stint, we will be meeting Thursday for maintenance...on a still tender bottom.
abby
Master and i got together this afternoon. I knew He was not all that happy with me. My weigh-in was a gain..although a little less than 1 pound, over a long weekend, and with my grand-daughter here...none of which He considers acceptable excuses. I had started to communicate less over the weekend, and i was letting those darn little voices get the best of me.
It was one of those, i know what i need, i just don't want it today, feelings. He greeted me with "in a funk, are you?" I said you read my blog....He replied He knew before He read it. I was more than a little worried about what he had in mind. I never know exactly what He is planning ahead of time.
I should have known and trusted, He knew exactly what i needed. First some kneeling time, during which He reminded me that i am His submissive 24/7, even when i am entertaining a grandchild, or am away from home. He allows me certain "freedoms", but i need to remember that i am always His submissive. During this time, He is rubbing, massaging and re-claiming every part of my body. He reminds me that feeling needy is not a bad thing, it is ok with Him that i need Him. I expalain that i hate to be whiny, and He points out they are not the same. He is here for me.
Then it was over His lap, for a long hand warm-up. I was relaxing into it, and thinking...hmm..maybe this will be a "nice" session. Then he shows me a paint stick, i had never been spanked with a paint stick. To be honest, it was a little like "tapping" my bottom. Even Master chuckled a little at my non-reaction. So He went back to His hand...much more effective. He concentrated on one spot for a very long time, til i was really squirming, then He asked, what happens here? (same spot, next "cheek"). "The same", i asnwered, He is very symmetrical. After both sides had received their equal treatment, He put a swat on my thighs. I HATE being spanked on my thighs, and reacted by putting my legs up. I got a warning, they stay down or we start over. I thought, so this is the punishment part.
I hear Him say, enough of a warm-up. Warm-up?? I thought we were done. He told me to put my hands on the seat of the chair, bottom up. I hear Him taking off his belt. He asks me why He is taking off His belt, instead of moving on to something more enjoyable. I reply, because i gained..even though it was less than 1 pound. I am reminded, gaining is not an option, He does not give up, and does not allow me to give up. I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but it was a lot, and i was struggling to stay in place. He was not going easy on me, no rubbing, no rests, no kind words, just punishment.
Finally, He says i may get up. I ask if i may get dressed, the answer is no...i may go over to the back of the chair, and lean into the chair, feet way off the ground, head on the seat. I wait, He repeats what He wants, with a warning, that He does not like to repeat Himself. It is an uncomfortable, revealing, and a new position for me.
Worst, i quickly realize that my thighs are once again His target. After 2 swats i stand up...something i have not done in a long time. I am told to get back in position, with a warning, He will start over. Two more swats and i am out of position again..complaining that it hurts...DUH! He says He is starting over, and at this rate, I will get many more than He planned. I get back in position, and get maybe 10 more..before i am pleading that it is enough. He does stop, and has me get up, to get a hug.
Punishment used to be a much bigger part of our dynamic than it is now. They were also much harsher. I think we both were "testing". It has been a while since Master has felt the need to Punish me...notice the capital P. It was what i needed today, i am once again focused on what is important, those pesky little voices have been banished, and my bottom and thighs are telling me...enough sitting!
Since i am leaving Friday for another babysitting stint, we will be meeting Thursday for maintenance...on a still tender bottom.
abby
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
punishment.....
I missed the chance to post on the Thursday Round Table over at American Spanking Society. Can spanking be an effective punishment for someone who enjoys spanking? As i am sitting here on a sore, stripped bottom, my answer is YES!
Punishment is soo different than play. There is no hand warm-up, there is a scolding, Master is using something made of wood, there is no nice touching and there is the knowledge that i have disappointed Him. Punishment is not something i purposely "brat" for, if i feel the need to play hard, Master is glad to fill that need.
I have had a rough week on the diet front. Every now and then i start to feel...i don't want to do this anymore, i just want to eat whatever, whenever. My deal with Master is once i set a goal, i reach that goal. Once i have reached that goal, i can stay there as long as i want...but i have to maintain, no more than 2 pounds above that number. I recognize that as a good thing, nothing is more discouraging than gaining back what you worked so hard to lose, and often gaining more back..i have been that route. Right now i am working on a 10 pound goal, that i chose to pursue. It is not going well.
I weigh in on Friday's and Monday's...we tried just on Friday's, but that was like a green eating light for the weekend. Last Friday i gained 1 pound. Master was not pleased, but decided He would let me try to turn things around over the weekend. (He sometimes gives me just enough rope to hang myself.) He rarely grants me a reprieve, so i breathe a sigh of relief.
I did not take advantage of His gift. I did not wii, nor walk, and i did indulge..but just a little. Turned out it was a little bit too much. My Monday report was a gain..of less than a pound..but a gain. He was not pleased.
He said we would "discuss" it Tuesday or Wednesday. When we talked this morning, He said Wednesday, i was pleased since i had dinner plans with a group of teacher friends for this evening.
Late this afternoon, i get a call from Master, He decided we were going to meet before i went to dinner, which meant in about 5 minutes. I was not in punishment "mode", but i said yes Sir.
Once we were together, He opened the door to the basement. I gulped,....the basement is used when Master is very unhappy...being down there has no good memories. I looked at Him, He pointed, i went down the steps. I then had to answer why we were in the basement...because i had 2 bad reports in a row.
He starts with the scolding...He is an expert scolder. When i was still teaching, i used to wish i could invite him to my room when i had detention duty. Down came the pants and panties and i was leaning over the washing machine. He had what looked like a cane, with no hook, but very "swishy".
He spanks in sets, this was sets of 6, switching sides after each 6. It only took one set, before i was OUCHING loudly and stuggling to stay in place. My hands did let go, and was told to put them back and if i let go again, he began tapping my thighs, He would change His target. As much as my bottom was hurting, i knew that the OUCH factor would be much greater on my thighs, so i concentrated on hanging on to that edge.
After more scolding, He asked if i was ready for the last six. I love/hate that question...it means the end is near, but it also means these will be the hardest strokes. I said i am never ready, but go ahead. Then i was told to count and to thank Him after each stroke, and if He did not think i was being sincere in my thanks, that stroke would not count. (I have been known to be called the queen of sarcasm). Counting and having to say something after each stroke, is not something i look forward to. It takes concentration, and makes me focus on each stroke, plus you know that as soon as you have said, "Thank You Sir", sincerely, it is like saying..go ahead spank me again. I got through the six, and we were done. NO warm up, NO touching, NO nice rubbing, but yes pain and punishment.
He grinned as He told me to enjoy my dinner out, and was sure He would be with me in spirit, as i sat on my sore bottom. He was, i had a wonderful dinner, fun with my friends, and brought half of my dinner home to have tomorrow, and passed on the alcohol and dessert. Tomorrow it is back to my eating and exercising routine....basement visits are no fun.
abby
Punishment is soo different than play. There is no hand warm-up, there is a scolding, Master is using something made of wood, there is no nice touching and there is the knowledge that i have disappointed Him. Punishment is not something i purposely "brat" for, if i feel the need to play hard, Master is glad to fill that need.
I have had a rough week on the diet front. Every now and then i start to feel...i don't want to do this anymore, i just want to eat whatever, whenever. My deal with Master is once i set a goal, i reach that goal. Once i have reached that goal, i can stay there as long as i want...but i have to maintain, no more than 2 pounds above that number. I recognize that as a good thing, nothing is more discouraging than gaining back what you worked so hard to lose, and often gaining more back..i have been that route. Right now i am working on a 10 pound goal, that i chose to pursue. It is not going well.
I weigh in on Friday's and Monday's...we tried just on Friday's, but that was like a green eating light for the weekend. Last Friday i gained 1 pound. Master was not pleased, but decided He would let me try to turn things around over the weekend. (He sometimes gives me just enough rope to hang myself.) He rarely grants me a reprieve, so i breathe a sigh of relief.
I did not take advantage of His gift. I did not wii, nor walk, and i did indulge..but just a little. Turned out it was a little bit too much. My Monday report was a gain..of less than a pound..but a gain. He was not pleased.
He said we would "discuss" it Tuesday or Wednesday. When we talked this morning, He said Wednesday, i was pleased since i had dinner plans with a group of teacher friends for this evening.
Late this afternoon, i get a call from Master, He decided we were going to meet before i went to dinner, which meant in about 5 minutes. I was not in punishment "mode", but i said yes Sir.
Once we were together, He opened the door to the basement. I gulped,....the basement is used when Master is very unhappy...being down there has no good memories. I looked at Him, He pointed, i went down the steps. I then had to answer why we were in the basement...because i had 2 bad reports in a row.
He starts with the scolding...He is an expert scolder. When i was still teaching, i used to wish i could invite him to my room when i had detention duty. Down came the pants and panties and i was leaning over the washing machine. He had what looked like a cane, with no hook, but very "swishy".
He spanks in sets, this was sets of 6, switching sides after each 6. It only took one set, before i was OUCHING loudly and stuggling to stay in place. My hands did let go, and was told to put them back and if i let go again, he began tapping my thighs, He would change His target. As much as my bottom was hurting, i knew that the OUCH factor would be much greater on my thighs, so i concentrated on hanging on to that edge.
After more scolding, He asked if i was ready for the last six. I love/hate that question...it means the end is near, but it also means these will be the hardest strokes. I said i am never ready, but go ahead. Then i was told to count and to thank Him after each stroke, and if He did not think i was being sincere in my thanks, that stroke would not count. (I have been known to be called the queen of sarcasm). Counting and having to say something after each stroke, is not something i look forward to. It takes concentration, and makes me focus on each stroke, plus you know that as soon as you have said, "Thank You Sir", sincerely, it is like saying..go ahead spank me again. I got through the six, and we were done. NO warm up, NO touching, NO nice rubbing, but yes pain and punishment.
He grinned as He told me to enjoy my dinner out, and was sure He would be with me in spirit, as i sat on my sore bottom. He was, i had a wonderful dinner, fun with my friends, and brought half of my dinner home to have tomorrow, and passed on the alcohol and dessert. Tomorrow it is back to my eating and exercising routine....basement visits are no fun.
abby
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
the 2 pound "discussion"
Master and i had our little discussion this afternoon. Have i ever told you how much i love ice cream..always have..it is soo yummy! Our "talk" began like this..
M...how did you manage to gain 2 pounds over the weekend?
me...well no wii or walking..i splurged on some ice cream..real ice cream..it was soooo good!
M...how many times have you had ice cream since Friday?
me...(utoh)...hmmm...4 times..Sir
M...4? over a 3 day weekend..??
me..well.....i had some last nite...(why is honesty the best policy?)
M..after a plus 2 pound weigh-in you ate more ice cream?
me..well..i figured if i finished the carton the temptation would be gone (i know you all agree with my train of thought!)
M...so now i have to make sure that the next time you think of eating ice cream...you think back to today and decide it is not worth it..
me...gulp...
At least it was over his lap, and i did get a short warm up.
Then the ..i think it is mahagony..paddle, with the holes in it..at least it is not a big paddle. He started slowly, making each hit harder,,and harder. I used to try to count how many, but i am usually too busy thinking breathe, stay in place, breathe, to count much. It only takes about 5 minutes for me to get to the ..i am sorry, Sir. His reply is sorry is good, but we are not finished.
He starts in much faster...i hate faster, no time to process. Then i make a big mistake...i say..ok, You have made your point! I decide when my point is made, is the reply..and He shows me that He can make a stronger one.
Staying in place is becoming very difficult, and we are at the point where nothing matters but my bottom and how it is burning and stinging..OUCH!
Finally He stops..maybe around 15 minutes...my perceptions are somewhat limited by now. I am given permission to sit up, bare bottomed, i get a hug or two..then the chat continues.
M..since you think finishing off the carton is a way of avoiding temptation, I have a better way. No more ice cream in the house.
me..none?..what about the light, or double churned or sugar free or the sinlge portions one? (life without ice cream..is unimaginable)
M..none..( i guess Master has a better imagination than i do). And, you need my explicit permission to go out and have ice cream or to have ice cream at a party or any place.
me..hmm this weekend is Maya's first birthday (my granddaughter)
M .. you are not allowed any ice cream..dont waste a text asking.
me..Yes Sir..(pouting)
M..lol..pouting?? will not help..remember when you gave yourself to me..it was all of you..I am in charge of You..You are mine..I am in charge..
me..Yes Sir, good bye ice cream...
M..also, my plan is that we will meet again this Friday to remind you of what happens when you eat ice cream and gain 2 pounds. I want to be sure you remember when you are away.
me..(silence)...then... yes Sir.
i am still trying to figure out life without ice cream..lol..hopefully when i reach my new goal...we can re-negotiate..i am sure all of you out there would agree with me!
More important than ice cream, is the fact that as i sit here, with a tender, somewhat still throbbing bottom, i know that all is right in my world. I am His..He is in charge...all is right once again.
abby
M...how did you manage to gain 2 pounds over the weekend?
me...well no wii or walking..i splurged on some ice cream..real ice cream..it was soooo good!
M...how many times have you had ice cream since Friday?
me...(utoh)...hmmm...4 times..Sir
M...4? over a 3 day weekend..??
me..well.....i had some last nite...(why is honesty the best policy?)
M..after a plus 2 pound weigh-in you ate more ice cream?
me..well..i figured if i finished the carton the temptation would be gone (i know you all agree with my train of thought!)
M...so now i have to make sure that the next time you think of eating ice cream...you think back to today and decide it is not worth it..
me...gulp...
At least it was over his lap, and i did get a short warm up.
Then the ..i think it is mahagony..paddle, with the holes in it..at least it is not a big paddle. He started slowly, making each hit harder,,and harder. I used to try to count how many, but i am usually too busy thinking breathe, stay in place, breathe, to count much. It only takes about 5 minutes for me to get to the ..i am sorry, Sir. His reply is sorry is good, but we are not finished.
He starts in much faster...i hate faster, no time to process. Then i make a big mistake...i say..ok, You have made your point! I decide when my point is made, is the reply..and He shows me that He can make a stronger one.
Staying in place is becoming very difficult, and we are at the point where nothing matters but my bottom and how it is burning and stinging..OUCH!
Finally He stops..maybe around 15 minutes...my perceptions are somewhat limited by now. I am given permission to sit up, bare bottomed, i get a hug or two..then the chat continues.
M..since you think finishing off the carton is a way of avoiding temptation, I have a better way. No more ice cream in the house.
me..none?..what about the light, or double churned or sugar free or the sinlge portions one? (life without ice cream..is unimaginable)
M..none..( i guess Master has a better imagination than i do). And, you need my explicit permission to go out and have ice cream or to have ice cream at a party or any place.
me..hmm this weekend is Maya's first birthday (my granddaughter)
M .. you are not allowed any ice cream..dont waste a text asking.
me..Yes Sir..(pouting)
M..lol..pouting?? will not help..remember when you gave yourself to me..it was all of you..I am in charge of You..You are mine..I am in charge..
me..Yes Sir, good bye ice cream...
M..also, my plan is that we will meet again this Friday to remind you of what happens when you eat ice cream and gain 2 pounds. I want to be sure you remember when you are away.
me..(silence)...then... yes Sir.
i am still trying to figure out life without ice cream..lol..hopefully when i reach my new goal...we can re-negotiate..i am sure all of you out there would agree with me!
More important than ice cream, is the fact that as i sit here, with a tender, somewhat still throbbing bottom, i know that all is right in my world. I am His..He is in charge...all is right once again.
abby
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
i am back..to blogging and home....July 27
I meant to blog more while i was away...but watching an 11 month old...walk, run, climb, and think naps are a waste of time..left me exhausted! I would not have missed it for a minute!
To be honest, i had decided to give up on the blogging...had the conversion i was going to have with Master all worked in my head...i often figure out how the conversations will go ahead of time...lol...to absolutely no avail! We had that talk this afternoon...and here i am blogging! He hopes it will help me to be "me", if i am "talking" to like minded people.
Master has helped me to accomplish many goals since we met. Shortly after He started to spank me...before we were into D/s....i asked Him to help me lose some weight..my oldest daughter was getting married..and i wanted to lose to look and feel better. We had 1 year before the wedding...so the goal was 50 pounds! I lost it...was soo excited...found some of it again....but with His help lost it again..have recently lost 10 more...the battle now is to keep it all off...but Master is one determined (read stubborn)....man....and i have learned that making a deal with Him..is like signing in blood..once i say i will do this...it WILL get done.
When i am out of town...i still have certain rules to follow...keeping in touch, my daily reports....and no gaining more than 2 pounds! He is reasonable..most of the time..so allows me the 2 pounds for ice cream treats...and not having my wii to do my daily workouts.....
My report to Him on Monday, indicated i had gained 5 pounds...not good.
It is good that He keeps me accountable..otherwise all my hard work to lose it, would have been a waste. So we met today....for a paddling.....with this little wooden paddle...little, but a big wallop! A long hand warm-up...thank You Master...love his hand.....then the punishment part. Three separate paddlings, each one a little harder...ending with a flourish, that left me breathless....As He said..it is meant to be a deterrent and remembered...
Then, He had me stand in a corner..that has not happened in years....i thought He gave it up because i hated it..and was not good at just quietly standing....i don't like it any better..but i did stand there quietly thinking about consequences.
Punishments used to be much more frequent when we first started. Now, mostly i get reminders....i have come to really want to please Him, and to match my actions to my wishes to please Him. We also have maintenance once a week, which for me, is a wonderful way to keep focused and calm. Maybe maintenance will be a future blog.
It is good to be back....will post again before the week is over...
abby
To be honest, i had decided to give up on the blogging...had the conversion i was going to have with Master all worked in my head...i often figure out how the conversations will go ahead of time...lol...to absolutely no avail! We had that talk this afternoon...and here i am blogging! He hopes it will help me to be "me", if i am "talking" to like minded people.
Master has helped me to accomplish many goals since we met. Shortly after He started to spank me...before we were into D/s....i asked Him to help me lose some weight..my oldest daughter was getting married..and i wanted to lose to look and feel better. We had 1 year before the wedding...so the goal was 50 pounds! I lost it...was soo excited...found some of it again....but with His help lost it again..have recently lost 10 more...the battle now is to keep it all off...but Master is one determined (read stubborn)....man....and i have learned that making a deal with Him..is like signing in blood..once i say i will do this...it WILL get done.
When i am out of town...i still have certain rules to follow...keeping in touch, my daily reports....and no gaining more than 2 pounds! He is reasonable..most of the time..so allows me the 2 pounds for ice cream treats...and not having my wii to do my daily workouts.....
My report to Him on Monday, indicated i had gained 5 pounds...not good.
It is good that He keeps me accountable..otherwise all my hard work to lose it, would have been a waste. So we met today....for a paddling.....with this little wooden paddle...little, but a big wallop! A long hand warm-up...thank You Master...love his hand.....then the punishment part. Three separate paddlings, each one a little harder...ending with a flourish, that left me breathless....As He said..it is meant to be a deterrent and remembered...
Then, He had me stand in a corner..that has not happened in years....i thought He gave it up because i hated it..and was not good at just quietly standing....i don't like it any better..but i did stand there quietly thinking about consequences.
Punishments used to be much more frequent when we first started. Now, mostly i get reminders....i have come to really want to please Him, and to match my actions to my wishes to please Him. We also have maintenance once a week, which for me, is a wonderful way to keep focused and calm. Maybe maintenance will be a future blog.
It is good to be back....will post again before the week is over...
abby
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