Celebrations

I am getting ready to leave for a weekend of celebrations. My children and grandkids will all be together for the weekend. We started a family tradition with my oldest grand-daughter before her brother was born...a big sister party. On Saturday, my Boston grand-daughter gets the big sister fun! We each buy or make a piece of clothing with Big Sister on it, get her a book about being a big sister, and a special big sister toy....we have balloons and cupcakes and fun! On Sunday we are celebrating my oldest grand-daughter's 4th birthday. She is one of those little girls who seems to possess a wise old soul, is so sweet. So another party, a Cinderella cake, and more fun. I will be returning on Monday.

Master and I had our celebration yesterday. I am back to my goal weight, and have really been working at getting back to an exercise routine. We, of course, started off with some naked kneeling, and He was "enjoying" my breast...He commented that I was not squirming...I replied...with just a bit of sarcasm..oh Master, it feels so good...He chuckled and said then I should thank Him.

He then had me bend over the ottoman, bottom out and took off His belt...the sound of that always makes me catch my breath. He started off lightly and each set getting progressively harder. He stopped and I was thinking that was just right, when I hear...hang on 12 more hard ones to carry you through the weekend. I whine a little about hoping we were done, but He has started. I stay in place, by the last 3 I am ouching loudly, but finaaly he drops the belt and starts to rub.

Just as I am beginning to pant and get "squishy", I am told to get over His lap. He is rubbing and massaging, and then I feel something prickly. It is my little "wheelie"! What a nice surprise. He is rolling it all over my back, thighs, bottom, any place He can reach, I am so relaxed. Master then remarks, He does not think He has been using it with enough force. He presses harder and repeats His routes. It is not as relaxing, but is awakening different sensations all over. He tells me He is going to increase the pressure and I should let Him know when it starts to hurt. On His second time around I tell Him now, after finishing His route He stops to rub and admire the pattern.

Master then gets my large toy...the one I always say is too big. He starts to tease me with it, touching my clit, pulling back, slowly and gently going in and out, til I can't stand it...and finally get a needed permission. I end with several body tremors which Master always seems to delight in. AS I am catching by breath, Master says He hopes that gets me back quickly...He knows how to entice a gal!

I am then between His legs, submissively thanking Him. Then it is back over His lap, for a nice hand spanking. He reminds me that I am to use all of my tools while I am away, or He will be using His tools when I return..and not the ones I would request!

It was a wonderful celebration to start my weekend of celebrations. I am feeling very blessed, and now need to go bake 2 dozen cupcakes for a 4 year old party!

Have a good weekend all....hugs, abby.

a light bulb moment

Since I am leaving tomorrow for my long weekend with the grandkids, Master and I met for maintenance today. My bottom was still tender from yesterday, but maintenance happens every week, and as Master pointed out, I was the one going away.

We were chatting when I arrived, when I started to get naked, so I could kneel. Master was quite surprised, (and I think pleased) that I did not wait for Him to tell me. While kneeling we discussed yesterday a bit, and that He hoped my head was back where it needed to be.

Then I was told to lean over the sofa, feet spread wide. He said He had decided on leather today, and I heard the swish of His belt...that sound is like no other! He gave me one swat with it doubled and said that it was too "thuddy", so He started using just the end of the belt....that was REALLY stingy! After a couple He told me to count silently to 25 and let Him know when He was done. This was something new, and counting silently is harder than counting out loud, I did not dare miscount, but instead of Master keeping up with my counting, I had to keep up with His swinging. Master kept saying it's leather ...relax, and I wisely just kept counting. Finally I loudly said 25 that's it!

He congratulated me that our counts matched...I commented I did not want any extra....nor did I want to start over...He chuckled again, good thinking. Just as I was relaxing I heard Him say, time for the other side, same routine. I let out a very loud moan, I thought we were done. We were not, and I counted silently again, really really happy when I got to 25.
Master was rubbing as we chatted, me still in position. Soon my knees were buckling and I was having trouble staying still and standing. Master kindly told me to cum for Him.

We talked about the weekend, and what He expects. He gave me a couple extra tasks to complete to help me stay on track. He also reminded me that I have only 1/2 pound to spare before I am out of my safe weight zone. When I return I am in town only 1 day before I leave to visit my mom, so I am determined to make that day one with a happy Master.

My light bulb moment....last night I was thinking about Master and our afternoon. I often need time to process and think about our chats. I knew I had faltered in my rules, and maybe had been a little rebellious. The strange thing is, I had been thinking I want/need more control. What I realized last night was,,,if I can't handle...conform to...keep....obey...the rules I have, I certainly have not earned more control. A long time ago, someone told me, the more submissive you are , the more dominant your partner will want to be. It was a good time to remember that advice...and if I become more diligent in following my rules and pleasing Master, that in and of itself is more control. Hope that makes sense to someone else out there.

Have a great weekend all...

hugs,
abby

2 for the price of 1...

I gained a pound over the weekend. All things considered, I thought that was reasonable. I also had lots of reasons *excuses* ready for Master.

Of course, He was not buying any of them. I was over my 2 pound limit...by less than 1 pound....but I was over. My new weight is going to be my weight, He explained. Truthfully, I knew He would not let it slide, HE does not let me fail or go backwards. As much as I sometimes wish He would give a little, I know with me, a little is a dangerous thing.

I was told to lean over the ottoman as He took off His belt. No basement and no wood...His version of being kind. There was no warm up, and I knew He was not swinging as Hard as He could, but I was struggling with settling and accepting. For some reason lately, that seesm to be the case. I think I got 50 in all, He did stop half way and rubbed and calmed me, something I was..and am...very thankful for. I was more accepting of the last half, even those last harder ones.

As I was kneeling between His legs, He says...so M&M?? My first thought was, He is offereing me candy after just punishing me for gaining? I looked up at Him, and He said...Monday Maintenance. I had totally forgotten about that. He invited me over His lap, and used His hand for this week's maintenance. Master's hand can be as hard as wood at times, but after a "belting", it was actually relaxing.

Then He started to roam, and just as I was squirming and panting, I hear, no permissions until you have lost what you gained, and I suggest you give yourself a little "wiggle" room before the holiday. I tried to move away from His hand and roaming fingers, of course that was futile. I was being punished, He wasn't. He finally told me to stand, and I could feel myself "dripping". The sooner I get that pound off the better!

abby

2 days....2 spankings

Today was maintenance for this week...the day after a major punishment!
No, Master is not being cruel...at least not this time. My oldest daughter is due to give me a grandson any day now. Her first pregnancy was full of problems, ending in an emrgency C-section and my daughter in ICU for 2 days. All turned out find..healthy mom and a beautiful baby girl. She and hubby had been told they would not be able to have more children...then she got pregnant last October. I was thrilled for them, and very scared. Thanks to many prayers, baby boy stayed put, and it has been a fairly normal pregnancy!@

As soon as she calls that she is in labor, I will head over to help with my grand-daughter, they live about 4 1/2 hours drive from here. So, knowing that I could get that call at anytime, when Master called today I asked if we could have maintenance during the early part of this week. I was thinking Wednesday...my bottom is not sore, but bruised from yesterday.
Master says He has time early this afternoon, and might be busy tomorrow.
UGH, I simply said, guess I will see you this afternoon.

When I got there, Master asked if I was hoping for tomorrow, I admitted I was, He congratulated me for simply saying yes. He was pleased that I took the iniative to ensure that maintenance would happen. So, I am thinking, He is pleased, a nice hand spanking won't be too bad.

After some kneeling time, I am told to get over the back of the sofa. UMmmm...not a hand spanking position, usually. Then I hear the belt...UGH. I love leather, but was sure it would light up my bottom quickly. After 3 strokes, the fire had been lit, I stayed in position, and Master made it quick, with lots of rubbing.

He then sat and invited me to get over His lap, a short hand spanking, and lots of roaming and touching and rubbing and a few orgasms later, I was pretty much jello. Master said He wanted me to get myself wet, and swollen and ready, and then to ask for permission tonight,,,such a chore, LOL...

Master was very pleased with my submission and attitude, and repeated to me, I can do anything I set my mind to. With His help and encouragement, I can!

I will keep you posted on the new grand baby news, if she has not delivered by July 1st it will be C section day. I will staying for about 2 weeks to help out...lucky me!

abby

a task for tonite..and some advice, please?

My sneezings last Friday, turned into a full blown cold and sinus thing. The weekend was a total loss, on Monday I started to feel human, better yesterday, and much better today. Now if it only could stop raining!

After I had assured Master this morning that I was feeling much better, He declared it maintenance day. Actually He mentioned it yesterday, but I really did not want to be spanked, sort of a first for me, but as much as I had dreamed of maintenance, and yes, it is a good thing for me/Us, it is not always something to look forward to. We talked about that a bit today, Master remimded me that it has greatly reduced the number of major punishment sessions, and does keep those naughty little voices at bay. I know all that, but it still hurts!

Much to my surprise,and He does like to keep me guessing, I was told to lean over the arm of the sofa, bottom up and out, legs spread. It was going to be belt day, with no warm-up. Leather is usually a good thing, but no warm up is not. He started right in, with His belt doubled. After the first few I started to rise, but was reminded not to, that this spanking was not optional, and He was going to use the belt. After a few more, with me really ouching, He decided to try not to have the belt doubled...wow, be careful what you ask for! I found that to be much worse, so after a few more Master went back to the doubled belt. I guess that is His was of not being mean.

I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but eventually I heard 12 more. That is both a relief and a warning. I now know how many before the end, which helps me, but I also know they will be the hardest yet. When I started to whine, Master rubbed my thighs...I took the hint and stuck my bottom out further. I survived the 12 (actually I only counted 11, but did not question Master's math! (;

Master then started to rub and commented on how hot my bottom was...really??? After some rubbing, and touching, and proding, He invited me to go over His lap, no whining now! After more rubbing and touching and finding all the rights spots, I hear...I wonder if I could get you to ask for 12 more of the belt, to earn an orgasm. I have no doubt He would do such a thing, so I was in a slight panic, begging to have permission to cum. After more teasing, Master asked if I was ready to ask for the belt, when I shoke my head no, He nicely and gaciouly and wonderfully allowed me to cum. (Thank You Master!)

Master then said that my bottom had cooled off a little, the rest of me was sweating! He started to hand spank me. As He continued, He asked if I would cum just from His spanking me....I used to think "no way"..."impossible"...but it has happened a couple times lately, so I relaxed, asked for some harder spanks and it happened, I will never understand it, but maybe just enjoying it is enough.

Master then gave me a task for tonite, I was to take out my biggest toy and fuck myself hard with it for 5 minutes, then cum for Him. I have completed that task, but I only own 1 vibrator, and it is a very small one. I think it is time to move up, so to speak. I am going to ask Master if I may purchase at least one more...and I need suggestions. Please help me with any suggestions as to what works well for you! Thanks!

abby

capital P

Master automatically gets a copy of my postings on this blog. I had thought about blogging, but Master is the one that got me actually doing it. He offered to not read what i post, if i wanted a private place to write. It was my choice to have the entries sent to Him, hoping it would help me be more open with Him, and communicate better. I was tempted to not send yesterday's post, but i did, and i am glad that i did.

Master and i got together this afternoon. I knew He was not all that happy with me. My weigh-in was a gain..although a little less than 1 pound, over a long weekend, and with my grand-daughter here...none of which He considers acceptable excuses. I had started to communicate less over the weekend, and i was letting those darn little voices get the best of me.

It was one of those, i know what i need, i just don't want it today, feelings. He greeted me with "in a funk, are you?" I said you read my blog....He replied He knew before He read it. I was more than a little worried about what he had in mind. I never know exactly what He is planning ahead of time.

I should have known and trusted, He knew exactly what i needed. First some kneeling time, during which He reminded me that i am His submissive 24/7, even when i am entertaining a grandchild, or am away from home. He allows me certain "freedoms", but i need to remember that i am always His submissive. During this time, He is rubbing, massaging and re-claiming every part of my body. He reminds me that feeling needy is not a bad thing, it is ok with Him that i need Him. I expalain that i hate to be whiny, and He points out they are not the same. He is here for me.

Then it was over His lap, for a long hand warm-up. I was relaxing into it, and thinking...hmm..maybe this will be a "nice" session. Then he shows me a paint stick, i had never been spanked with a paint stick. To be honest, it was a little like "tapping" my bottom. Even Master chuckled a little at my non-reaction. So He went back to His hand...much more effective. He concentrated on one spot for a very long time, til i was really squirming, then He asked, what happens here? (same spot, next "cheek"). "The same", i asnwered, He is very symmetrical. After both sides had received their equal treatment, He put a swat on my thighs. I HATE being spanked on my thighs, and reacted by putting my legs up. I got a warning, they stay down or we start over. I thought, so this is the punishment part.

I hear Him say, enough of a warm-up. Warm-up?? I thought we were done. He told me to put my hands on the seat of the chair, bottom up. I hear Him taking off his belt. He asks me why He is taking off His belt, instead of moving on to something more enjoyable. I reply, because i gained..even though it was less than 1 pound. I am reminded, gaining is not an option, He does not give up, and does not allow me to give up. I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but it was a lot, and i was struggling to stay in place. He was not going easy on me, no rubbing, no rests, no kind words, just punishment.

Finally, He says i may get up. I ask if i may get dressed, the answer is no...i may go over to the back of the chair, and lean into the chair, feet way off the ground, head on the seat. I wait, He repeats what He wants, with a warning, that He does not like to repeat Himself. It is an uncomfortable, revealing, and a new position for me.

Worst, i quickly realize that my thighs are once again His target. After 2 swats i stand up...something i have not done in a long time. I am told to get back in position, with a warning, He will start over. Two more swats and i am out of position again..complaining that it hurts...DUH! He says He is starting over, and at this rate, I will get many more than He planned. I get back in position, and get maybe 10 more..before i am pleading that it is enough. He does stop, and has me get up, to get a hug.

Punishment used to be a much bigger part of our dynamic than it is now. They were also much harsher. I think we both were "testing". It has been a while since Master has felt the need to Punish me...notice the capital P. It was what i needed today, i am once again focused on what is important, those pesky little voices have been banished, and my bottom and thighs are telling me...enough sitting!

Since i am leaving Friday for another babysitting stint, we will be meeting Thursday for maintenance...on a still tender bottom.

abby

a hot and steamy August afternoon....

So far it has been a good week here...yesterday i got to indulge in one of my vices....and it had nothing to do with Master, except for getting His permission.
I spent a fun day at one of the nearby casinos, with a good friend. We laughed, we had fun, she won !! , i loss...boo....but it was great fun.

Today is one of those hot and steamy August days, that make me long for fall. It has been one unusually hot summer here, and although i don't love the snow, this heat is doing me in. What? You thought my title was not weather related...silly me!

This was maintenance afternoon..and then some. Master managed some extra time, so we also had a "play" session. I have been quite good lately, and reaping those rewards is wonderful! As with all sessions, i start by kneeling for Him, while He re-claims, relaxes and soothes me, with His wonderful hands. I love His hands.

Then on to a wonderful hand warm-up, throw in a little rubbing, and i am so relaxed. Since this was part maintenance, the little wooden paddle was next. When it follows a nice warm-up, it is a good way for me to start to just let go. I realize the paddling is done, as i hear His belt being removed..now there is a sound that sends shivers.

Just as i was getting used to the beat and the sting on my bottom, i felt a thud on my back...not expecting it, i voiced my surprise. After a reminder that all of me is fair game, i settled in. We then tested the belt as a sinlgle layer or doubled up. I enjoyed the single layer on my bottom, but liked the double up sensation better on my back...more thud, less sting, maybe. Neither one gets my vote on my thighs!

Then i heard the words i still am not used to, turn over, equal treatment on the front. When i am on my back i feel less open, more hidden, safer maybe. I am better about going over and exposing my front, but it still takes a couple deep breaths. Using just the tip of the belt, on my breast..there are soo sensitive..and on my pussy. I was starting to squirm, and moan, when he switched to His hand. I still don't understand the pain/pleasure relationship that happens, but there is no denying it.

I am soon asking for permission to cum, Master says convince me. I am not a beggar by nature, but when a girl needs a permission, she will resort to most any means. Master seems to know, just when to say, "cum for me". Three or maybe four commands to cum later, i am begging, please no more. I am spent, sweaty, and sooo sated. Thank You Master!

After some after care, it is time to ask for permission to get up and get dressed. Hot, steamy, sweaty August afternoons, do have a certain appeal after all!

abby