Happy Halloween

I have been meaning to post here since Thursday. By the time I sat and thought about it, I was just too pooped. So I am gettng to this earlier tonight, while I can still think and type.

Back to Thursday, Master asked me at noon time, if I was ready for Halloween. I was not. He wanted me to have a school girl uniform. I had gone to a couple thrift stores, found 2, but wayyyyyyy too small. I decided it was the wrong time of year, so I though maybe if I shopped the web, there might be a sale. I started at a well known store, and sure enough they were 1/2 price. I kept looking, and found some that were quite reasonable, but it would take a week to get it. I thought maybe it would come earlier.
It did not.

Master was disappointed at my not being ready, and I got a little "testy" about it. He finally said, just forget it, it was supposed to be fun, not frustrating. I did not want to just forget it. He told me He would see me later.

We hung up and I sat there and cried. Last week was really stressful and emotional for me, on a few levels. After a few minutes I reminded myself that he did not want a specific uniform, just for me to look like a school girl. I could be creative...I could do this. (I went to catholic school for 12 years.) I raided my and my daughter's closet. I found a black wool skirt (short), a white polo, and some stripped pink/grey knee socks. I typed up a note to the principal, saying this was the second time his week I arrived out of uniform....the knee socks.

I headed over to Master's, a little nervous, but hoping He would be pleasantly surprised. When He saw me, He grinned...you did it. I handed Him the note and we were off. It's been a long time since we role played, but it is fun. He had me over His lap, scolding, and then reached back and had the hair brush in His hand. Since this was role play, I get to squirm and try to get free, and say...almost...anything that comes to mind. One of the things that I appreciate most about Master is that I can verbally throw anything His way,,,,and He has a reply.

I eventually realized He was spanking a LOT harder than I remember, for a role play, he also would stop, only to find another reason to continue. My bottom was throbbing when He finally finished. He wondered if I had enjoyed it,,,I replied it was too hard a spanking. As he reached in to test me, He chuckled, not too hard. He continued until I was wet and ready, pulled out, and started using the brush again, not as hard, but hard enough. He wanted me to cum, while He was spanking me. Sometimes I can, but not on Thursday, I was close, but just could not let over that edge. Master finally took pity on me, and stopped spanking, and pushed me over that edge. It was one, very long fall.

After some recovery time, it was kneeling time. Master is away for work this week, He will be back when the job is finished, so no set time. My 3 year old granddaughter and her 4 month old brother arrived on Friday, until Wednesday. We have been on the go to some fun activity every day, with lots more to come. It has been wonderful.

I am going to leave you with some 3 year old wisdom. After finishing a couple craft projects, I asked her to help grandma clean up. She did a great job, I thanked her, and she said, well you always help me grandma. I replied, we help each other. She looked at me and said...."grandma, people helping people, that is what life is about!"

abby

consistency and follow through

If there ever was an award for most consistent and (almost) always follows through, Master would win. When we first started our journey, Master would threathen a lot of consequences, and after about the third time I figured out they were just threats. Spanking was not consistent, and I was often left wanting more. One day Master had read some blogs and said consistency seems to be very important to submissives. We talked about it, and since then, I know that threats are not just threats, and He is extremely consistent.

Yesterday, after my punishment, Master commented that He hoped when we saw each other on Friday, that it would be for the kind of pain that leads to pleasure, the kind of pleasure that overwhelms me and leaves me asking where did that come from? I asked if we could change that to Thursday instead. My 3 year old granddaughter and her 4 month old brother are coming to grandma's for Halloween! I don't usualy get excited about Halloween, but the house is decorated, and do I have plans. They are arriving Friday morning. Master agreed to Thursday.

This morning I sent Master His good morning message, and He replied...we are running out of time...M this afternoon. I read it 3 times and could not figure out what He meant. A few possibilities, but none of them really made sense. So I asked what he meant. Tomorrow is Thursday and we have not had maintenance, he replied. I should have known, since we started maintenance, 18 months ago, Master has not missed a week.
The word maintenance had not even crossed my mind, my bottom was still sore. But I replied, Yes Sir, I wil text You when I am back home.

This afternoon, Master calls, and asks how my bottom is...still sore, I replied. Is it ready for maintenance?, he asked. I quickly considered several responses, and replied, I don't know how to answer that. It is your call. He chuckled, always my call. He then asked if my bottom felt well maintained....I quickly replied yes. To my surprise...and delight...He said we could forget maintenance today, but when we did get together tomorrow, the spanking would depend on tomorrow's weigh in, and if He was not happy, I would report again on Friday, and we could meet early in the morning.

I know when I am being presented with a golden opportunity...consistency and follow through are important and woderful..but just once in a while an early pardon, a reprieve, is a great surprise!

abby

intense, emotional, and...needed

My title sums up my afternoon. I sent in a report yesterday that I had gained 1 pound. I knew Master would not be pleased. I had a funeral in the morning, and spent my afternoon at DMV getting a new license, since I had discovered I lost mine.

By this morning, I had allowed my "voices" to invade and take over. I was questioning myself, Master, my submission. I did not send Master my good morning message, nor did I make my lunch time call. I even toyed with going shopping this morning without permission, but I could not bring myself to go that far. Master sent me a text, asking about my day, I barely replied. He said He would see me this afternoon, and instead of my Yes Sir, I replied ok. I was sinking fast.

When I got to Master's He gave me a look....and I melted. I said I owe You an apology as I sat down. He nodded, but said, there is a better place for you to be when you do that. I knelt at His feet, and apologized ...for all of it. Did not offer any excuses, just said I was sorry. Master said I had saved myself a trip to the basement, but I was still going to be punished.

"Run to me, not away from me", He said. He first spoke those words to me many years ago. For a while I could not figure out what He meant, I never physically ran away. But I did have all those walls that I retreated behind, and closed myself off. When I heard those words again, I realized I had just taken a big step into the past....and was even more sorry.

Master had me get up in the seat of an easy chair, and bend over the back so that my bottom was high and presented. Master used a strap, started hard and fast, and ended harder and faster, all over my bottom and some on my thighs. All the while reminding me what an expert scolder He is, telling me He does not fail, so I do not fail. He will do whatever is necessary to get me to the agreed goal, having me get permission before I eat anything, limiting my computer time (EEK!), tying me to a treadmill and paddling me...which has been done when we first started on this journey. I do not know how Master breathes when He scolds, since He never stops for breath. He let it be known that if I had another gain on Friday, the strapping would be doubled, and there would be more restrictions.

I love leather, but being punished by a determined Master is enough to make me re-think that love. My bottom was burning and welted. Master finally asked if I ahd been punished enough... after my Yes Sir, He rached around and started to play and tease and get me wet. When I started panting and wriggling He stopped. No permission to cum, this afternoon and tonite, maybe tomorrow, maybe longer. He sat down and I got up and went back to kneel by His feet. He smiled and said "good girl", my world was being put right again.

Master then reminded me that our agreement is I get to minus 70 by Thanksgiving, He is holding me to it, and I just made it more difficult. My food and exercise choices need to get better, and less of one and more of the other. He reminded me that once the goal is reach, we take a break and I get to decide if I want to continue.

He then told me to get closer and lay my head in His lap. As He was rubbing my back and my head, the tears finally came. MY walls were crumbling a little more. When I first met Master, I was just looking for a spanking or two. In fact, I was pretty convinced that every spanking would be my last, He would get smart and find someone younger, prettier, and definately sexier. He would tell me He wasn't going anyplace, I would nod, and think for now. When we started down the M/s road, I was a little more sure of "Us", but in the back of my mind always wondered if when the day came that I said I am happy with my weight, no more dieting, would He say fine, my job is done, good-bye.

Master has always reassured me that He is not going anyplace, that He has found what He was looking for. It has been almost 9 years now, and my trust has grown to a place I never imagined. Today, Master thanked me for giving Him the gift of "me", a gift He treasures and would never throw away or not cherish. I think He finally got through to me.

So, as I sit here on a sore bottom and thighs, I am content, I am at peace, I am His....His submissive, I am so lucky!

abby

tasks

Master is away for the weekend, so I am left to my own devices. Master will get a laugh out of that sentence, He claims I am never left to my own devices. We spent some of Thursday afternoon, spanking and cuming and chatting....lol..it was not so very long ago I never thought I would ever write such a sentence!

I sense that Master is starting to push me a little. I have been feelig very comfortable and content with where we are now, and I think He takes take as a green light. I feel I am ready for more also, so we will see, He has started in little ways.

He has started to give me more tasks. He wants me to find a school girl skirt, I did hit a thrift store on Friday, but I think it is the wrong time of the year. He also told me to find 2 passages, that I enjoyed, from book 2 of the "Beauty" series this weekend, and send them to Him.

The teacher in me took over, and I started wondering, passages..sentences or paragraphs, did He want ones that were Hot or of significance for some reason, did he want me to elaborate. Finally I got a hold of myself and said, just find 2 you found interesting. I enjoyed that second book, so there was no lack of passages. I have not started the third book yet, been catching up the book for my book club.

I went to see "Dracula" with a friend earlier this evening, at a local theater group. I usually really enjoy their productions, but tonite for the whole last hour I just kept thinking, kill him already! The acting was good, and the stage sets great, but it was too long for my taste.

Hope you are all enjoying the weekend

abby

panty hose, reading and buckets

When master and I talked this morning, it was decided that maintenance would be this afternoon. He wasn't sure what time He would be free, but said He would text me.

I get a text....15 minutes, wear a skirt and panty hose. I read it twice, laughed sent back a yes Sir. I don't usually dress-up for Master since for the most part, my clothes come off as soon as I walk in. Then I thought...panty hose?????...who wears panty hose any more?? I do maybe once a year for something very special, and then I go out and buy a pair. I did not even know if I had a pair in my sock drawer. The clock was ticking so I went and found a skirt, and actually found a pair of panty hose in that drawer.

I walked in and Master smiled. I told Him panty hose almost did me in. He said he was very pleased with my quick yes Sir, with no arguments or excuses. Kneeling time with the skirt and panty hose still on. Then over His lap. He was surprised that I also had my panties on...3 layers. He started to spank with His hand and we were soon both giggling, His hand can be very hard, but 3 layers...So I had to pull off the panties but put the panty hose back on.

He proceeded with a nice hand warm up, checking to see if my bottom was warming up, it was, but barely. So out came the paddle, and although it was still very stingy, it was not as bad as it usually is. He would padddle, rub, reach in and see if my bottom was heating up. I was heating up, but He wasn't checking there.

Finally Master said...maintenance time. Tucked me in, and starting in harder and much faster. Yes, even over the panty hose, maintenance hurts! This time when Master reached in to rub my bottom it was hot. His fingers roamed to the front and kept rubbing and poking. It was not nearly enough, and I was releaved to hear Him ask if I wanted the panty hose to come down. Did I ever! I was soon whimpering and asking for permissions.

Master then pulled tha panty hose back up, and told me I was to wear them until this evening....when I was to ask for permission to cum and take them off. (that has already happened). Master then said maybe a school girl's skirt should come next, I was to look for one in the thrift shops. When we first met, we did did quite a bit of role playing...we both enjoyed it and it was a way of getting to know each other, and of introducing me to some of His toys. So I am thinking this could be fun, my deadline is Halloween...guess what my costume will be??

I have just finished reading the second book in Anne Rice's "Beauty" series. I enjoyed the first one, stayed in today to finsih the second one, which I really enjoyed. I will start on the third one in a few days, Master said it was "out there"...I have never read the third one.

Buckets...as in a bucket list. I have read that some of you have spanking bucket lists. I have a short life bucket list, and I thought it would be fun to create a spanking bucket list. I have been trying to come up with 10 items, or activities, things that are not wishes that need magic to accompish, but things that are doable. I am either pretty unimaginative or Master has been good at using a wide variety of activities..but so far I am far from listing 10 things. I will continue to think on it, and when I come up with my list will share. Any ideas to help me along??

abby

A wonderful way to spend a rainy afternoon!

I have been struggling with my diet lately. I lost a pound this week, cutting out most carbs, but when I reported the loss to Master I also said, I wasn't sure it was worth the struggle. He said He would decide that, and that we would have time this afternoon. By noontime it was pouring...it was to be a rainy afternoon.

We started as we always do, with my kneeling and Master pulling my hair, playing with my nipples, rubbing and reclaiming my body...me. He then asked me how many pounds I have lost since we started, 61. He then asked if could lose 9 more pounds before Thanksgiving. I replied, a pound a week, probably. So Master, made me a deal.....I lose 9 more pounds by or before Thanksgiving and I can maintain, plus or minus 2 pounds until the beginning of the year. In January we will discuss if I want to start again, or if I am happy with where I am, and He will let me decide. I was surprised with Master's offer, and I accepted it, I need to know there is a break soon, and knowing that Master will not allow me to gain the weight back is comforting.

With that settled, I was over Master's lap. He started with a wonderfully long hand spanking. He then sent me to get my toy bag ( a new rule is that I bring it everytime I see Master). It is not a large bag, I have a small variety of items. When I was back over His lap, I could hear him rummaging through the bag. I started to get a little nervous, as there are "toys" in there we have not used in a while.

Sure enough, Master had chosen one of my bottom toys...thankfully the smaller one. As soon as He started to insert it, I kept telling myself...relax. I managed to relax and Master went back to hand spanking me with stops to play with the toy. He then went back to my bag and was using a small leather strap. Since I was still OTK, He was not getting a lot of leverage, and it felt great...just stingy enough. He then chuckled as He pulled out my frog paddle..I am a frog collector...so of course I would have a frog paddle, It is light and as Master continued to use it with stops to play, I could feel myself start to get wetter and want more, offering Master my bottom.

Master pulled out the toy, and found the larger one in my bag. I was ready, and fairly relaxed, and with only a tiny struggle it popped in, and Master went back to spanking and playing. I have never really enjoyed this type of play, but this was definately a step in that direction.

Master then decided I should have both holes full, which was also a new sensation. It did not take long for me to be moaning and begging for permission. A few permissions later, I was unable to move or even moan. Master gently lead me back to earth, with wonderful after care.

When I got back home, I wa so relaxed, content and at peace, I decided to just enjoy the rest of the day. I put on some of my favorite music, did some reading...book and blogs, and just enjoyed the afterglow and the memory of what fun a rainy afternoon can be!

abby

maintenance, punishment and permissions!

Master and I had plans for yesterday. I asked if we could move maintenance spankings to the beginning of the week, thinking it would be more of a motivator. Just as I was leaving I got a call, canceled until Tuesday. He was disappointed as I was, and part of our conversation went like this..

M...I will be seeing you tomorrow, and we will have Maintenance.
me...I don't think so , I have book club tomorrow
M...(repeating), I will be seeing you tomorrow
me...(repeating), I have book club tomorrow
M...maybe you will be at book club with a sore bottom
me... guess we will see...

I will admit, after we hung up I thought, hmmm, maybe I was a little too "cheeky". Master never...at least so far...says no to a request for a planned club meeting or social event....so I did not think, He would not allow book club.

Today, Master and I met at lunch time. We started with the usual kneeling time, only as He was tugging, pulling and pinching my breasts, He was also pulling my hair, hard. It did take my mind off my breasts, and quickly put me in a very submissive place.

Then it was over His lap. We started with a hand warm-up. Yummy! A little rubbing, some all over spanking, and I was relaxed. He asked if it was enough of a warm-up...and although it never really is....I said it was. I felt the cool wood of a light paddle and took a deep breath. Master was paddling at a steady rate, and heating up my bottom, but I also recoginized it was not the hardest paddling. I crossed my ankles, and Master said to open them, than later crossed them again. He pulled them apart, I apologized and said it was instinct. He said, partly, but it is also not being totally open to me, do not cross them. They ( notice I am blaming my feet), did cross once more, but I quickly spread them on my own. One more thing for me to think about when I am trying to breathe.

Master stopped, and I am thinking, this was a pretty good maintenance.
Then, as the paddle is circling my bottom, He asks....what did you think of out last phone chat? Ut Oh....this might not be good. I ask,,,yesterday's? He says yes, that was the last time. I am stalling, trying to think of a good answer....one that might not set that paddle going again.

I say it was not my best submissive self. He asks why...what did I do that I should not. The respect word comes up, and I am always disappointed in myself when He feels I have been disrespectful...and He is right. He reminds me He does not allow even a little bit of disrespect.

Maintenance will now move on to punishment. The paddle is really flying, and much harder. I am hanging on to my pillow, and determined to stay in place, and accept this punishment. It seems to go on forever, my bottom is on fire. I finally shout out...I am sorry Sir. He says that's a start, and has me tell Him what I am sorry for, and why...and how I will change that behaviour...all the time still really swinging that paddle. finally I hear...Count them!...I hate counting...One Sir, and He is now swinging even harder....I decide to count quickly, and I manage to get to 10...with of course the last one being harder still. He stops, I am trying to catch my breath...

I am sent to fetch the toy that He bought for me, the one that I always insist is too big...and He chuckles. I am ready and soon I am close to needing permission, it is granted and I am off. After a bit, I try to calm, but Master is still navigating the toy, and now has started using the paddle at the same time. I ask for another permission, and even after, I seem to be full of "smalled tremors" as Master put it.

On the diet front, I lost 1/2 pound over the weekend. I was getting discouraged, and wondering if maybe I needed a break. Master....who I swear can read my mind suggested a no carb week. Actually He said, no carbs this week. I am a carboholic, especially at breakfast and lunch. Since the weather has been great, I have been walking a near by bike path, even on the weekend. We discussed how the no carb was going, and I think pretty well. I have a breakfst, a lunch and a dinner out this week, each with a different group of friends, so we will see. I really want a good number on Friday, so hopefully I will make wise choices.

Our amazing weather is about to come to an end...but it has been great!

abby

Now that is my idea of maintenance!

Master and I have different ideas on the definition of maintenance spankings. Most weeks, you can guess who's definition is used...Master's...maintenance is a deterrant, and therefore should be remembered and leave me not wanting to chance a harder spanking.

My definition is more of a reconnection, fun time spanking. This past week Thursday was maintenance day. After our kneeling reclaiming time, Master sat and told me to go over His lap....YEAH! Master started with a wonderful hand warm up...YEAH YEAH! The feel of His hand is the best, I know I can relax and let myself go. He continued with His hand, the spanks getting harder and more deliberate...and I was sooo getting into it...His hand can be hard, but I was eagerly waiting each next spank.

Finally His fingers started to roam...YEAH YEAH YEAH!. I had not been permitted to cum all week, until I had loss the 2 pounds I had gained the week before...I reported that loss on that very morning of maintenance. Master almost immediately chuckled, saying I knew you would be soooo ready for me. He had barely touched me and I was whimpering and trying to urge Him on to more...silently, of course. He kept reminding me that I did not have permission yet, to slow down...but oh my!

Master then asked me if I really wanted to cum...he can be such a comedian. "yes, Sir", I panted out. Then He asked do you want to a lot?? Without thinking, I relied....Yes, Yes.

I was off...and off...and off...When I started to say no more...Master reminded me I had said I wanted a lot! He did not let up, until I was totally spent and exhausted. Master said, I guess over a week is too long...I just moaned. That man, My Master, can get reactions out of me I never would have thought possible, and...enjoy himself at the same time.

It is going to be a beautiful weekend here...hope the great weather is where you are also....

abby

THANK YOU

Just a quick post to say THANK YOU to Jazmine and Bonnie for their help in solving my posting problem! I would give a link to their blogs, but of course I do not know how to! Blogging friends are the best!
abby

ARGHHH HELP!!

Anyone have any ideas...I cannot post of others blogs, or even post a reply on my. I am signed in, abt no matter what I try my posts do not get through, and it is not that they have to be apporved...the message just POOFS..disappears. I have been able to post on a couple blogs, but tonight I cannot even post a reply on my own???? thanks abby

A welcome....then a caning

First let me say I spent a good part of today reading blogs....only my comments all seemed to disappear before my eyes. I did get a couple of comments to actually post, but mostly when I hit publish..a blank box. I tried several ideas, of course none worked. But I loved reading what you all have been up to.

Master and I finally both managed to be back home and had our welcome home yesterday. Hugging, kneeling time, a wonderful hand spanking...which really stung....and permissions to cum! The perfect welcome!

While we were together Master asked what I thought would happen when I weighed in today. I replied I have no idea. He looked at me, and then asked if I had used the wii since I have been back.....I had not. I commented He sould cut my some slack....He replied... I should be trying harder.

Today, my weigh-in was a plus 2. I promised to do better and He said OK.
HMMM...how do I interpret that? During our noon time conversation, He said we would have a "meeting of the minds" this afternoon....I know how to interpret that....my bottom will be sore.

When I walked in He was holding a small cane. Two pounds?? If you had gained 1, or maybe if you had used your wii this week, this might just be a maintenance or reminder.....it is a punishment. Was I surprised no....a little disappointed, but I know Master has expectations, and I also knew I had not met them.

I was told to be naked and kneeling. He massaged a little, covered my eyes and helped me to relax..a little. He was not really scolding, but He was telling me that He expected better. He knows that some of what He expects from me is not easy, but He does expect me to try my best. I had to admit I had not done that.

I was told to get over the arm of the sofa, one of my least favorite spots. He started right in, 10 on each cheek. Even with a hand warm up and Master being in a playful mood, the cane hurts...as a punishment..it HURTS!
He wasn't talking much, we both knew why this was happening. I was busy just trying to stay in position and breathe. Another round of 20...after which I said, please, no more. Of course the reply was that is my decision, maybe if your bottom is too sore, your would prefer I continue here (thighs), or here (shins), or here (back), or I could have you turn over and use your front...it is all mine. By this time my voice was a whisper, and I agreed it all belonged to Him. He proceeded with another set of 20, and I was ouching and owing very loudly. Master was encouraging to let the tears flow, but I have never cried that during any spanking. I think I fear if I let myself start, I would lose all control....I know as if I have any control in the first place.

Finally Master announced 10 more....harder ones. I took a deep breath and told myself I can do this. I knew the last one would be the lardest of all, and then I could really breathe. Master told me to spread my legs wide, and He started probing and rubbing, and getting me all wet and panting. Then, He stopped, naughty girls do not get to cum...they get no pleasure, but Master's still do.

Finally I had permission to stand, and Master put His arms out for a big, long hug. I finally let the tears come, while Master spoke quietly to me, letting me know all was forgiven, I had earned that clean slate, we were good.

Master has let me borrow His Anne Rice, Beauty series...I started re-reading them last night. It has been a long time since I read them, I think before I met Master, and I do not remember reading the third one. I had to stop and text Master and ask for permission after I had read the first couple chapters. This afternoon, Master told me, not to bother to ask for more permissions when reading ..or otherwise..until I had loss those 2 pounds. I said I can't even ask...and hope. No, until those 2 pounds are gone, I cannot even ask. I have not picked up the book this evenig, and think I will put it aside for a couple days...no sense torturing myself!

Have a good weekend, it is going to be a very soggy one here.
abby

Jumping to conclusions

I am back, filled with funny moments and wonderful family memories. I had the opportunity to see all 3 of my "grands" and we had a wonderful family Christening on Sunday. My trip to Atlantic City was lots of fun.....and I even left with more money than I arrived with....YAHOO!!

I actually started an entry with this title while I was away. I have a new notebook computer, but after the second time it seemed to just eat my attempt I gave up...guess I should have read that intruction book.

About a month or so ago Master and I were having a "chat" about an issue that I referred to as a "bump in the road". Master finally said I needed to stop jumping to conclusions and ask Him for answers or clarifications. I am lucky, I know I can always ask Master to talk things out, or if I think He has misunderstood a situation. Our chats do not necessarily change His mind or even make Him reconsider, but I always feel better with His decision after we have talked it out. I do realize that is not very submissive, but as long as I ask respectfully and calmly Master has always agreed to hear me out.

I did not think I jumped to conclusions, I always thought I looked at all the facts and came to a well thought out decision. The night before I left on my recent trip, I found myself in bed with my brain popping. Master and I had not had a chance to see each other before I left, I was supposed to be assinged a task, it had not happened. So, I lay in bed jumping to conclusions, I had a restless tossy turny night, and woke up to get ready for an early flight still tired.

I got to the airport, and through security to find that my flight was delayed. As I sat and thought about the night before and Master, I suddenly remembered the jumping to conclusions admonition. That was exactly what I had done. So, I sent Master a text, admitting it and apologizing, wishing Him a good week.

Master called me after He got the text. After we chatted for a bit, He volunteered to come to the airport to give me my good bye hug and to drop off the Anne Rice books. Honestly I was stunned, I know Saturdays are very busy for Him, and it was the last ting I expected. He told me to check the security check-in line first to see how long it was, since I would have to get through it again. It turns out the line was very long, so I did not get to see Master.

This was definately one of those cases where the thought is what counted. I thought about Master's generous offer the whole time I was gone, and hopefully the next time I start to jump to conclusions I will remember His offer.

As it turns out, Master and I probably passed each other on the thruway today. He had to leave town, just as I was returning, so no welcome home hug yet. But, I am NOT jumping to any conclusions, I am looking forward to an extra big hug in a couple of days.

abby

destination...NJ

I am almost all packed for my next time away. I am flying to NJ in the morning curtisy of my son-in-law. My new grandson is being christened a week from Sunday and I volunteered to come and help. My son-in-law enticed me with a side trip to Atlantic City as a thank-you for my past babysitting. I said I did not need thanks, but he seemed so disappointed...so I get to go to Atlantic City also!

Master was supposed to give some assignments for this trip, to help keep me centered. He either forgot or has been too busy...so I get to just have fun bing a grandma....and gambling!

I should be gone about 10 days...
Happy spanks to all!
abby

At His feet

Master told me He has been busy trimming limbs in His back yard. Today, I saw...huge tree stumps and big chunks of trees. I laughed, only Master would consider that limb trimming. No wonder He looked tired today.

Our time together started, as always, with kneeling and claiming time. Then, to my surprise, instead of helping me up, I was told to put my head down, and bottom up. This was a new position, new on the floor anyway, not on a bed. To my credit...instead of thinking what??, I immediately got into the new position. Master has told me, don't stop and think, then act on what I tell you to do, act, then think.

Master told me to uncross my ankles, which I did. Then I felt Master's flogger, that wonderful large leather flogger that I love! He started slowly and increased speed and intensity. When Master traveled to my bottom and thighs the pain seemed more intense than usual.

Master then used a vaariety of the toys in His bag, starting with the leather ones. Then I found myself between Master's legs and He was squeezing me, as if to keep me from moving...I thought uhoh... Sure enough it was wood time. He was concentrating on my sit spots and bottom, and it seemed intense. I crossed my ankles, and immediately felt my thighs get a couple hard swats, Master telling me to uncross them...they stayed uncrossed. After a few more rounds I was allowed up.

Master said He felt like using His toys, and I was His plaything. It actually made me smile.

I was then invited over His lap, to feel the wonder of His hand. He was spanking, and touching, and rubbing, and suddenly asked me if I wanted maitenance to be today or tomorrow. I know He was being kind, since I am supposed to make the arrangement for maintenance and He was opening the door for me. I did not want Him to stop what He was doing, but I also knew that tomorrow I had plans for a day outlet mall shopping trip. (Yes, master had already given me permission.)

So I said, neither...He chuckled. So you want to be in big trouble on Friday, He asked. So I chose today, and He stopped just as I was working up a good pant. He took out the Winnie the Pooh paddle..sounds harmless, it isn't..any Winnie fans out there are welcomed to it.

He did go lightly at first and built up slowly. Then I heard the last 12, hard ones. Then Master went back to working me into a pant, some moans, and lots of noises...and releases.

As I was thinking about this afternoon, I realized that I needed to be at Master's feet this afternoon, I needed to feel like His play thing, I needed to be reminded of my submissiveness. Once again, He gave me everything I needed...and even some of what I wanted.

abby

Monday's news

Hope you all had a good day. It was sunny and coolish here..almost perfect! I spent most of the afternoon cleaning out closets. I know does not sound too exciting, but I view it as a treasure hunt, and even found a couple forgotten items!

I have not reported on my diet in a while. When I weighed in last Tuesday, after being away for 3 weeks, I had gained 3 pounds. I was not looking forward to having that discussion with Master, but He surprised me. He said considering the time away and the stress I was under, that was not too bad, as long as I got right back to the wii and my food reporting, which I have. I actually lost almost 2 1/2 pounds last week...amazing what no ice cream snacking will do! I stayed the same over the weekend, but that is acceptable, I just have to report a loss on Friday.

When I retired from teaching, one of the things I got to cross off my 'bucket list' was joining a book club. Last week I told Master I was going to spend most of the day reading to get ready for my book club. He asked if it was a good book...about a crochety old woman, so far. He asked if I was interested in more "interesting" reading. That got my curiosity up, Master never seemed like much of a reader. He asked if I had ever read the "Sleeping Beauty" series, He thought they were a great fantasy read. I had read them, even before I met Master...seems like a lifetime ago.

This morning I was told to search and see if I could find the books. (hence my real incentive for cleaning out closets..) I did not find them, He said He would lend me His...I am more than a little surprised that He has the set and has kept them.

I think this is a huge clue as to the assignments I will have while I am away next week. I have been trying to figure out what He has in mind.
I always love the anticipation of something new being added, at least until I find out what it is...LOL.

Have a good week everyone!

abby

Master's version vs. my version

Today was maintenance day for this week. At the end when Master said He would be looking for my blog entry, He mentioned His summary for today...
extended kneeling time...hard paddling...hard fu******! That was His summary. I must say it is accurate, but a little lacking in details.

Maintenance...when I used to dream of maintenance it was of a weekly reconnecting, playful time with leather and rubbing and.....Master's view of maintenance is as a deterrant to punishment, therefore it needs to be a reminder of what will come if I find myself headed to His dreaded basement. Translated...it needs to be felt, and hurt, and make me want to avoid anything that would hurt more. It has worked that way, but I so wish I could convert Him to my idea of maintenance.

Maintenance today started with extended kneeling time for me. Master was working on a remodel project and needed a bit more time...I thought standing around and chatting with Him, was a good idea. But I was told to go undress, kneel, and start focusing. He asked me once if I was keeping good posture...I was. Not sure how long I was kneeling there, but longer than I have kneeled in a while.

Suddenly I feel Master's hands covering my eyes and starting his descent down my body. He always stop at my nipples, to tug, pull and pinch, since that is a sensitive spot for me. Master then helps me get up, and reminds me that maintenance is a deterrant, so it needs to be felt. He tells me to get over the end of the sofa, bottom high, feet off the floor. One of my least favorite positions, feet off the floor always makes it much harder to me to stay in position.

I look up and see Him holding the plastic paddle. This is my first maintenance spanking in over 3 weeks, that paddle HURTS, I am dreading it.
He starts right in, no warm up, going from cheek to cheek. I manage to not stand up, but my legs are kicking up, and Master is putting them back in place reminding me to keep them there. I am struggling almost from the beginning, I am trying to go with the pain, but it seems like it is too much. I start voicing that it hurts, it is too much...

Master stops and leans into my ear and starts to talk slowly and calmly to me. He knows its been 3 weeks and my bottom is feeling it more than usual, but that is maintenance. He wants to avoid punishments, He knows I can do this, reminding me again why we do this type of spanking.

Once I am calmer, He stands and says 12 more on each cheek. Usually knowing how many really helps me to get though the harder spankings, I can say one less..only 11 more...I was a little calmer, but still having trouble keeping still. Finally we were down to 3 more on each cheek and I finally managed to keep myself still.

Master was rubbing, and telling me that I was out of condition, but that He was not spanking as hard as a punishment. Then He asked if I had brought my toys. On Tuesday, Master had said He wanted me to bring my toys along from now on. Master has a large wonderful toy bag, mine is limited, a frog paddle (I collect frogs), a short strap,a blindfold, and some "personal" toys. I said they were in a black bag by the door. Master asked if I was hoping He would forget. I said I almost left them in the car...He chuckled and said....would have been interesting to see you hustle out there and get them. I know better than to challenge Him, so I simply said, I will not forget them.

Master pulled out my newest toy, a gift from Him, a large vibrator/dildo. I argued when we were shopping that a smaller one would be better, but.....So while He is getting me very hot and ready and wet, He wants me to suck on it..."mouth training". After a bit, Master takes it, and uses it to make me cum. Yes, more than once, maybe 3 or 4...who can count at a time like that? Finally I say no more please, and this time He listens and stops, pulls me over to him, so I can snuggle into His chest.
We snuggle for a long time, chatting quietly, just enjoying the haze we are in.

This was more than the every week maintenance, not the maintenance I used to dream of, but in some ways....way better!

abby

What a welcome back!

I just re-read yesterday's post...guess I should not try to write while exhausted...sorry about all the typos.

His text this morning was be ready to serve Your Master...I was so ready!
I had a wonderful welcome back to where I truly belong, with Master.

We started with several long hugs....Master always says one can never have too many hugs, and backs it up. I think we both just needed to feel each other and hold each other once again. We then took time to chat and get caught up on the past 3 weeks.

Soon, I was kneeling and being "claimed", being still, hands behind my back, eyes closed, just feeling Masters' hands all over me. Rubbing, pulling, tucking, making sure I felt that all of me was His.

Master then pulled out, this long, fairly thick paint stick. I had not seen that one before, and was a little apprehensive. It had been over three weeks, and Master kindly started out with a very long hand warm-up. He even started out slowly and lightly, and built up the pace and intensity. I love being spanked by Master's hands, He has a wonderful toy bag, but His hands are my favorite spanking implement.

He spanked me for a long time, stopping to rub frequently. Each set was a little harder, a little longer, leading me to the path of total relaxation and acceptance, and not wanting Him to stop. He was spanking all over, the sides of my bottom, my thighs, inner thighs, and my pussy, it all felt sooo good, soo hot.

I had forgotten about that paint stick, til I felt the sting. It replaced Master's hand, repeating the same path, bottom, sides, thighs, and pussy. By then I was really squirming and really just wanted a release, a permission. I told Master I was going to burst, He said...not yet, but soon.

He went back to His hand, but all I could think about was the throbbing inside of me. Finally, He is saying, you are very wet and swollen. Several rather sarcastic repsonses crossed my mind, but I wanted that release, so I just asked for permission. "Cum for your Master"...finally! I did, over and over, I was loud and wanton and breathless, it was amazing. Master remarked He had really released the tigress within me ...guess I was also growling. I was finally just laying there, totally spent trying to keep breathing, feeling Master's hands once again, gently rubbing and tapping, helping me back to earth.

I then got to snuggle into Master's fur...I love His furry chest. We talked quietly, and just enjoyed some quiet time. I brought up my grandson's christening in a few weeks, another trip, for me. Master wanted me to make it an overnight, but I was able to get permission for a week......but....Master said there will be tasks and asignments to be completed while I am away. That is something new, He said He would put on His thinking cap, and let me know what He decides....I am intrigued, as this is something new. I think it will help me to feel our connection and stay focused, but also a little apprehensive, something new is....well new and unknown. I will keep you all posted.

We ended as we started, kneeling time and hugs. I am still enjoying the afterglow. This seemed like one of those extra-special times and connections. It is truly good to be back where I belong.

abby

life happens.......

I have finally returned from my 10 day time away. My return date was supposed to be the 24th of August. The week before that was wonderful. My children, my 3 'grands', my mom and even my siblings mamaged time together. We spent mornings on the beach, ate lots of fresh sea food, and had a wonderful 2nd birthday celebration.

Then, the Monday before I was to head back home, my mom was hospitalized. She ended up having a heart valve replace, it went well and she is home doing better than we expected. I also survived the hurricane, with only downed tree in the road and no power for a day.

I cannot really complain, I got to spend time with all my family, had a ball with my 2 granddaughters, my mom is home and healing, and I am finally back to Master.

I am so far behind in all of your blogs and what has been happening, think I will just start with today...or tomorrow more likely. Time to unpakc, pay bills, do laundry, etc...

abby

endless orgasms.....(Master chose this title)

In all fairness...for all of you who are reading just to get the orgasms part, I did not just lay around and cum all day. The orgasm part is a small part of this. This is actually one of those entries that jumps around on a few topics.

I got a call from Master this afternoon asking for my help. One of His projects is putting a new transmission in a car. I said I would be glad to help, but on my way over I was thinking, I know nothing about cars, I can't even drive a standard. But Master had an easy "task" for me, just switching gears, so I was able to help Him out. While we were working on the car, I mentioned that my bottom was still tender from yesterday, kind of a hint that maybe my bottom needed a break. He replied I am sure it is still tender.

One of the many things that has surprised me about Master is how He seems to be able to read my thoughts. He has said to me...I heard you thinking that...(insert my thoughts)...way over from here...and whatever he thinks He heard, is usually what I was thinking. Yes, it is more than a little discerning. For the past few weeks I have been thinking that I need...want...am ready...for more control...for a deeper submission. And although I always advise all of you to talk out your needs/wants with your HOH or Doms, I did not follow my own advice. I felt it might be like "topping from the bottom", and Master has been so darn busy lately, I have held back.

This morning when I was discussing my plans for today with Master, He added more control to my "planning". He actually thought it was something I was doing, but I honestly did not think it was something He expected. Anyway, I now know, and it has been added...Master has grabbed a little more control, without my even having to ask.

When we went in the house for Master to clean up, He told me to get my kneeling pillow.

While I was kneeling for Master, He mentioned my going away. I am leaving tomorrow, and that He expected me to not push Him and my submission way to the back of my head....to not return having taken a "break" from us, which has happened in the past. In order to help me remember He was going to give me a hard paddling. I groaned, my bottom was still tender, and it was not what I expected.

He sat and as I went to get over His lap when I saw that darn lexan slat, I know how much that stings. He started right in, I was struggling, it really stung. After about 20, I said it was enough, Master did stop to rub a bit, but also informed me that he was just beginning, this was meant to be a paddling I would remember while I was away. I think He did 4 sets of 25, each set a little harder. I was ouching and owing very loudly, and squirming, but we got to the end.

Master then checked to see if all that squirming and ouching was real, or if I had enjoyed it a bit. I really did not, but unfortunately there is a part of me, that always contradicts me. Master chuckled as He felt for my wetness. He did ask if I had any orgasms left in me after yesterday. I waited a minute and replied....I think that for Him, my supply is endless...hence the title. Master then reminded me...which He loves to do...that when we were first beginning our journey, I was certain that orgasms were meant for me...for a few reasons. He proved me wrong, then for a long time, I would plead that 1 was enough, I could not have or take anymore. Well, if you have been reading here, you all know how wrong I was there also, and yes I did have a few more leftover for today.

Master then gave me a few extra "rules" for my trip. When we first dicussed it, I said I would be gone for 10 days. That has been expanded by a few days, and Master was not all that thrilled. I need to be back on the 24th in time for Him to spank me, or I will get 100 with His large paddle the next day. I cried fowl and not fair, and things come up, driving is unpredictable, etc.......all to no avail. If I decided to stay a couple extra days,it is 100 per day. No matter how unfair I judged this to be, I was not changing His mind. I also am to cum for Him every day while I am gone....to me this is a big deal. It will be busy and crowded, so I guess I will be taking long showers... I am also to continue with all of the other expected tasks. I know all of this is to help me, but as I sit here it seems like a lot.

I am off tomorrow to Boston and Maine. My children will all be there and my 3 little grand children. We will be introducing my mom to her newest great-grand son, and celebrating a second birthday. It will be crazy busy and crowded, so much fun, and such a blessing. I will try to check up on all of you, but will not be posting, or commenting. My computer time will be very limited...have fun, be good, or at least try, and have a spanking good 10 days!

abby

baseball bets are paid off...

This afternoon, Master and I met to settle up our recent bets on the Yanks/Red Sox series.

Master had the cuffs ready...I love those cuffs, they are lined with a soft fur, and make a great accessory...He has a wrist and an ankle set. Just having Him put them on me, and I feel my submission wash over me.
Then I was tied on my tummy to the bed. Being tied actually gives me the freedon to relax more, I don't have to worry about moving or concentrate on anything, but the sensations Master is creating.

Master's winning bet was that He would stripe me..with His cane. Without warm-up, He started right in on my bottom. He did stop after each short set, to rub and massage some of the sting away. After several sets He moved to my thighs, just because He can, reminding me that all of me is His. Then on to my back, this was a bit of a surprise...He started off horizontally across my back, then remembered that His Yanks wore straight up and down stipes, so went back over everything so I could have Yankee stripes. He was quiet pleased with Himself. All during this time Master had my new toy vibrating in me, warning me that I had better not let it slip out.

Then my turn, blindfolded and waiting to feel the relaxing sensation of my "wheelie" toy all over. He started out tracing my stripes with it, and then went on to other places. He had also turned up my vibrator a level, so my attention was somewhat divided between 2 sensations. After a break for more rubbing and some more massaging, He continued to "outline" other parts of my body. The blindfold, being tied, the vibrator, the feel of the prickly toy outlining, I was in my own little world. At one point I realized Master had spoken to me, and I asked Him to repeat...He just laughed.

Master then treated me to His horse hair flogger and the large leather flogger. My 2 favorite toys to come out of His bag. I had to be reminded that I did not have permission to cum, yet. An extra special little treat for me to have Master use these....thanks so much Master!

After several permissions, I was insisting I was done, but Master was showing me...not yet. Finally, all sensations quieted and I was just trying to catch my breath and come back to earth. Master and I had our quiet, cuddle time, and I came back to reality with a soft landing.

Master seems to have a wonderful sense of when I am ready to go with somehing new. I love that He pushes me to new experiences and sensations, while still having me feel perfectly safe.

The Yanks and the Sox have 2 more series to play yet this season...I cannot wait to see what play opportunities will arise with our wagers on those games.

abby

maintenance and.............shopping!

Maintenance day was today this week. I wanted to make sure that I mentioned it early to Master, since I have dropped the ball lately. Maintenance has come to be an important part of my submission, and Master has worked at being sure it happens weekly. This afternoon's maintenance started without a warm-up and it really stung right fromt the beginning. I tried to twist and see what He had chosen, since I could not tell. I could not see it, but He told me it was a lexan piece of shelving. He increased the strength of His spanks til I was really starting to squirm. Master stopped to let His fingers roam and play, and as I relaxed again, He picked up the paddle. He upped the speed and reminded me why we have maintenance...to keep me focused and away from punishment. Then I felt Him grab me around the waist and pull me in.....always a sign that He is about to rev things up a notch. No, it was not punishment, but it was close...thankfully it was a short volley.

Then it was play time, and it took no time for me to be so ready! Master prolonged giving me that first permission, til I think I was growling. I am always amazed when I think back to the sounds, noises really, that He seems to draw out of me. Finally, I heard...cum for me...and so of course,,,I did! We continued to play a while longer, then as I was getting dressed, Master asks if I wanted to go shopping?

We have talked about my getting myself a new toy...vibrator...I only have one, it is small, but it does the job. I looked on line and when I was telling Master what I had found, He suggested we should go shopping together. I agreed. I had slmost figured it was not going to happen, but I have learned to be patient...at least a little patient...

So I told Master I was ready to shop. Now, most of you know I am not a "young chick"... I am a retired school teacher with grandchildren. Today was my first visit into an adult toy store! It was interesting, lots of things in there.....some silly....some interesting...and some just...OMG!!!! As Master and I were looking at the available toys, Master and I had different opinions on what we should get....You can all guess who's opinion won out. So Master treated me to a new toy, but I somehow think He will get to enjoy it also...A surprising, fun, interesing afternoon!

abby

Red Sox and bumps in the road

I am a Red Sox fan, have been since I used to listen to them on the radio back when I was in Junior High. I love Fenway Park, it is like a street party every game! Master is a Yanks fan....oops...guess we are not totally compatable. We usually get a little wager going when they play each other, as they did this past weekend. Master asked if I was game, and I replied when Sox win I get to feel lots of leather, He decided that I would get stripped (cane) when the Yanks win. Guess I get stripes, He said He loves the look of me in stripes...

I did not get back to Him on Saturday's wager, so there was none...and Sox won. Sunday's game I wagered some time with a metal pin wheel toy I have, I just love the sensations of it being rolled all over my body, and I cannot remember the last time it was used. So that is what I chose, along with a blindfold, to add anticipation. Master stuck with the cane. Thankfully, my boys came through for me...and I get to relax and enjoy my little toy...after I am wearing Master's stripes.

That was the fun part of the weekend. Sunday night as we were chatting we hit a "bump in the road", it had to do with miscommunication, both of us not realizing we were on different wave lenghts, among a couple other issues. We talked, but I got frustrated, so we met again this afternoon. I was calmer, still a little upset, but Master has a way of talking things out and getting me to explain my feelings, and making sure that we cover all the bases...just to keep up with baseball! We worked it all out, and both learned a lesson, about what might be important to the other person.

One of the important realizations I have learned from Master is that, "bumps" can be smoothed and worked out....we just have to keep trying. It is good to feel that we are both once again reading the same book and on the same page.

abby

still at 2 for 2

I had to get to a funeral home for a friend's mom, and had dinner plans with a small group of friends, Master had a meeting at work that ran late, so getting spanked 2 days in a row is still my limit...my bottom is not complaining. It was interesting to imagine, a whole week of spnakings...guess somethings are better left to the imagination.
abby

2 for 2

Over the weekend, Master and I were were discussing the lack of maintenance last week, and how it happened. I said altho maintenance spankings are not fun, I did feel sad that we had missed a week. His comment was we will make it up next week, I replied something along he lines...that would be interesting. His next remark was...or maybe a spanking every day for a week. Now I have learned from past experiences to be careful what I reply when He casually makes a statement that totally wows me. If I express any doubt that He would do it, He becomes very determined to prove me wrong, if I don't reply He starts to question me. I honestly can't remember exactly what I said, I think I laughed and said something that might be much, even for me. That was the end of discussion.

Yesterday it was not mentioned, so I figured it must have been a thow away comment. Today, when we were discussing my plans for the day, He told me to be available late this afternoon, when He got out of work.

When I arrived the first thing I said, was that this was a bit of a surprise. His reply.....this is only day 2, there are 3 more to go...a whole week's worth! Now I have imagined a lot of things before I actually got spanked, and even more since, but the thought of being spanked every day, for 5 days in a row, has never been one of my fantasies. I am intrigued, and I trust Master ... so, we will see if we got to 5. If I were a betting person..I would be yes!

Back to today, we started out with some kneeling and focusing time. We chatted a little about yesterday's punishment, and some of the "loose ends" that we settled. Then, it was over His lap. He chuckled, a little, remarking how relaxed I was this afternoon over His lap. My bottom was marked a little from yesterday, but was not sore or tender. Still, it did not take long for the heat to build, both on my bottom and elsewhere. Master was quickly commenting on how wet and ready I was, and that I probably would cum even if all He did was keep spanking me. I was ready, I could feel it. He started to roam, and play, it took very little time for me to be begging for permission. I don't often plead, but I was so ready... and so spent after a string of permissions...maybe 4. We then had some quiet time, some coming back to earth cuddling, and more kneeling time. I have been spanked 2 days in a row before, but never 3....

abby

That dreaded basement....

My text message to Master this morning included my weigh in...a gain, but only 1/2 pound. His reply was that He would see me at lunch time. I was thinking that maybe he wanted to get maintenance in early this week, or maybe just some fun time to start the week. Boy was I ever WRONG!

I am rarely surprised by a punishment. Master's rules and consequences are clear, and I rarely resist, He expects me to accept them, since I have earned them. So when I arrived today, got a quick hug, then He opened the basement door I balked, and started to plead my case. It was only 1/2 pound, if I did not have a digital scale it would have been a stay the same, I certainly had not earned a besement punishment. He wasn't buying it, just kept pointing to the darn basement....do Florida houses have basements???

Once at the bottom of the stairs, Master "explained" that without a digital scale it might have shown a gain of 1 pound, and last week when He granted me a stay the same on the weekend, He also explained He was doubful it would work....my mind set is different when I am trying to stay the same...as opposed to losing.

I was told to bare myself and lean over the chair and stick my bottom out...my head was not in punishment mode at all...and that always makes things worse. I hesitated, but only for an instant and Master started in with the big, heavy paddle ball paddle...He bought it for 1 dollar at a garage sale, I would pay a lot more to have one of you buy it!

I was still a little upset at being punished, and was moving and ouching loudly. Master kept telling me to stick my bottom out, then I did something I rarely do anymore, I stood up. I was up before I realized what I was doing, surprising both myself and Master, Master looked at me and quietly said, back in position that will cost you 5 extra hard ones. He gave me a moment, and I was back on position. He gave me the penalty ones next, then went on with the punishment spanking. Finally I hear, 10 more til the end. I let out a big breath....then He continues you will count them for me. I hate counting, I hate that I have to concentrate one each stroke, and that once I have counted it is like saying go ahead give me another. But I counted, and added a Sir after each number and finished with a Thank You Sir, without being reminded.

I was waitig for permission to get up, when I felt His fingers start to roam. This never happens after a punishment, so I was a little confused, but decided I should just enjoy. Just as I was starting to pant and squirm, I hear....calm down, you are not getting a permission, this is solely for my enjoyment. I slowed my breathing and try to think of anything else but what was happening. Master is finally done, and I get permission to stand.

I stand and absentmindedly pull up my pants...Master notices and gives me the "look". I realize what I have done, apologize and put them back down. He allows me a rub.

We then chat about last week, the lack of maintenance and my plans for this week. One of my rules is I am to ask for permission before going anyplace that I have to drive to...it is not all that restrictive, I practically always get a yes, and a quick response to a text. I have always considered it a reminder that Master is in charge of me...nothing more. He does not like me to ask far in advance, prefers the request to come on the day that I need them. Often I was asking for permission for plans that I had made a few days before. I brought up that I was planning to go out to dinner on Thursday with some friends, He asked about my planning without permission. I replied that was always the case, He wanted me to ask on the day I was going, so I considered it a kind of formality.

Needless to say that has changed. I need to ask for permission before I make the plans, and should not take a yes answer for granted. I got permission for Thursday night, but since I was the one who planned the dinner, I need to call and adjust the time..a litte later or earlier, for not asking before planning. Truthfully I never thought asking after I had made the plans made much sense,except as a reminder that Master is in charge. Master reminded me that I do better when I am sure of His control, and with little wriggle room, since giving me an inch almsot always mean I try for a foot. He wants us to be solid.

After I left I went to mail a package at the Post Office...yes I had permission. There was a line of 25 people..at a small Office! I was mailing a birthday gift that needed to go out today, so I took my place in line. The lady in front of me asked if she had fallen asleep and missed summer and fall, and it was really Christmas..with everyone mailing packages..LOL. As i was standing there I was processing my time with Master. I realized how lucky I am to have someone in my life, a Master even, who cares for me, takes care of me, and wants to be sure that we stay connected and strong. A hot, tender bottom, does not seem like a high price to pay!

abby

"no news"

For the first time since we started maintenance spankings...almost 1 1/2 years...maintenance did not happen this past week. We were both in town all week, and did try, but that thing called " real life", was in charge. We tried, starting on Wednesday, but it was not to be. As much as maintenance spankings are not 'fun' spankings, it made me sad. I've been around long enough to know that we were pretty luck to have made it 18 months before this happened, but still.....

My weigh in last friday was a loss, of over a pound! I have had the munchies all day today, so I am not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh- in.

My son completed his first 1/2 triathelon this week...WOW! He's been training for a few months, his wilfe is training to run 1/2 marathon. Who are these 2?? I am very proud of both of them.

Looks like another hot, dry week here...hope you all have a good week!

abby

what goes down....comes up??

I have had an up and down past few days. Last week was one of those where all feels right ... I was focused, calm, relaxed, happy with my little piece of the world. I felt I was finally beginning to let some major walls crumble. Yesterday, I woke up to doubts, questions, and I started to go within myself. Master says I go quiet on Him...not a good sign. I knew that Master was having an extra busy day, so I decided to just try and ignore my feelings.

Of course that did not work too well. I think I talked myself into a mild panic and thought that maybe instead of letting those walls crack I should be putting them back up. It wasn't really what I wanted, but the thought of being that open, scared me.

Master, who claims he can hear my thoughts and feel my moods at a distance, knew that something was not right. He let me know this morning, that He would see me this afternoon. We hugged, chatted, had some kneeling time, during which He repeated to me, that busy or not, I am still supposed to keep in touch with Him. He understands my reasoning, wanting to not bother Him, but it is not what He wants or expects. Calls, texts, reports are all to continue, I am not being a pest....I am doing what He wants. He asked if I understood, I replied, Yes Sir, but too quietly, and He had me answer Him several more times, before he was satisfied.

While I was over His lap, He asked why I had "gone quiet". I said it did not matter anymore, I did not want to talk about it. Not quite the answer He wanted. He said He was going to start spanking my thighs, and would stop when I started talking. He started off lightly, but continued with no breaks. My thighs are a lot more sensitive than my bottom. After a while he said, You can stop this when you decide to talk, I am not stopping until you talk. I finally had enough and decided to talk.

We discussed some long standing fears, and my thinking I needed to start shoring up some walls, along with a couple other concerns. Master always, is excellent at getting to the crux of the matter, making me see it in another light, and assuring me that I am not going crazy. He did say that if I dared to start rebuilding any walls, He was going to use the largest paddle He had to break them down....think I won't go to the trouble of rebuilding them.

I was still over His lap. I used to hate chatting while in that position, but it does have it's advantages. He started to spank again....on my bottom. He only used His hand....but His hand can be plenty hard, plus He tends to roam...an added advantage. I am always surprised, at how quickly He can get me squirming and moaning, His voice, His look, His wonderful hands...every part of Him...just seems to get my "juices" flowing. Several permissions later, I was spent and content with the knowledge, that I am His.

Another plus for today was that I convinced Master that a stay the same weigh in was acceptable for Mondays. He did say, because He was giving me an inch, I should not try to turn it into a foot...as I am apt to do:) abby

The "M" word

I hope you are all keeping cool. We broke a record here today, 98! I am a summer girl, but this is a bit too much for me!

As I was getting my hair cut today I was thinking about this past week. Suddenly my thought process went to...Yikes it is Thursday. I have not mentioned the M word to Master...maintenance. It is my responsibility to check with Master and find a time for my weekly maintenance spanking, and He does not like for me to wait til Friday to bring it up.

As soon as my hair was done, I called Master and brought up the "M" word. He chuckled and said to plan on this afternoon. When we first started maintenance, I looked forward to it, I could not imagine that I was actually going to get spanked every single week...and for over a year now I have been, most weeks more than once.

Master views maintenance as a way for us to connect, but also as a way to avoid a more serious punishment spanking. For the most part, it has worked, punishments are certainly less frequent, and there is never a thought of me "testing" or or trying to earn a spanking. But maintenance spankings are not fun, they are serious, and they hurt.

As the afternoon approached I kept thinking it has been over 3 weeks since my last maintenance spanking, I hope Master remembers that and goes easy on me. I was nervous. I even decided to wear a new pair of black undies I had bought just for Him, hoping He would let me leave them on.
He admired them and told me to take them off! RATS!

I was told to bend over a chair and stick my bottom out. I looked back to see he had the big, heavy paddle ball paddle in His hands. I gave him a look, and He reminded me the purpose of maintenance and said only 12...hard ones. I muttered my yes Sir, He reminded me to breathe as He started in.

He did stop to rub and roam and touch after each couple of swats, but they did HURT....He claimed I should not concentrate on my bottom, but try to direct the pain elsewhere....I soo wanted to say, "then stop directing the pain at my bottom", but I have learned that somethings are better said just to myself.

We finally got to the last 3, which of course were going to be the hardest ones. He did give me 2 very hard ones, and the last was not quite so hard. He continued His rubbing and roaming, until I was squirming, and feeling the heat not on my bottom, but elsewhere. Permission was finally granted for my release, and I was allowed to stand.

Master had put the paddle down and I reached over to touch it, then changed my mind. Master was grinning and said you may touch. I said what I really wanted to do was smack His bottom so He coud direct the pain elsewhere.....but I wasn't sure I was ready for the consequence. Master thought that was rather amusing, saying He does not see the brat in me very often, it could be entertaining, but there would be consequences.
I am still debating if they might not be worth it...stay tuned.

Master then sat and told me to sit on His lap. I always get a little flustered when He wants this, I always think...I won't fit, I will be too heavy for Him, etc. He gave me the look, so I sat. He reassured me He was comfortble and His legs were not going to be damaged. Then He hugged me tightly and started to rock gently back and forth, and I totally relaxed.

I felt so safe, cared for, and content sitting on my Master's lap....what a great way to end the afternoon!

abby

Remember me?

Yes, I am finally back....I have spent the last 3 weeks being entertained by a delightful 3 year old, and meeting the newest member of the family...a red haired little (well not so little) guy. When I was telling Master how cute he was, Master corrected me. Handsome, he told me was the proper term for a boy...not cute. LOL...he is cute and handsome!

Keeping up with a 3 year old, kept me very busy. We did a lot of swimming...no floating, swimming, playing school and library, cooking, making posters...since she knows all her letters!

I knew being away for so long was likely to be a major problem for my diet. I really tried to be conscious of what and how much I was eating, figuring the swimming and walks would take care of the exercise. I was hoping to have stayed the same, knowing that would be a good report, since going away often means a gain. TA-DAH...I loss a little over 2 pounds...both Master and I are very pleased.

Master and I have reconnected with a massage, kneeling time, a wonderful hand spanking, and the granting of many permissions. He always seems to know just what to say and do to have me purring (and yelling). More importantly to welcome me back so that I know I am where I belong, where I can be "me".

I have started to try to catch up on all of your blogs, it will take a while. I am mostly reading, leaving a quick commnent on some, I love hearing about what you have been up to!

abby

I'm off to meet the newest member of the family!

I got a call from my daughter yesterday from the OB's office. Yes, it made me hold my breath! They are recommending a C section on Monday, instead of waiting another week. My daughter who is 9 months along, said what any woman who has been carrying a "bowling ball" around....YES!

Master and I took some time this afternoon to say good bye.
Of course part of saying good bye, for at least 2 weeks, includes kneeling time and spanking. After kneeling time, I surprised Master with new "undies", I was not all that happy with them , they were really sheer and see through, but Master thought they were great and even let me keep them on for part of the spanking.

We enjoyed a long hand spanking, slowly building. My bottom was heating up more quickly than usual, still a little tender from the 2 spankings earlier this week. I just realized...3 apankings in one week, not so long ago that was the stuff of dreams and will never happen!

Of course the panties slowly came down, as Master's hands started to wander. He has this habit of rubbing and pulling and thrusting, and gets me going, and then He decides He wants to discuss a few things. So far I have not screamed, could You just concentrate on 1 thing please! But responding to Him takes a lot of concentration and determination. We were discussing, or trying to, my being able to stay focused while away, and not return having gained...my weigh in was a 2 pound loss this week!

Soon I was panting, and beyond conversation. After my first couple orgasm, Master started spanking me again. He wanted me to cum just from the spanking sensations. Master told me to be sure that I added...I came all over my Master's lap just from His hand spanking...more than once!
I am always amazed when that happens.

Then it was time to say good bye. I will be away at least 2 weeks, depending on how quickly my daughter recovers. With my oldest grandaughter (3), I was going to stay a week, and for several reasons, stayed over 3. I, of course will miss Master, I always do so much more than I think I will. I am lucky and blest that I have the time and ability to be there for
the births of my grandchildren, and to help out, and that Master understands that need and blessing. I will try to give a quick update, on the new arrival!

abby

2 days....2 spankings

Today was maintenance for this week...the day after a major punishment!
No, Master is not being cruel...at least not this time. My oldest daughter is due to give me a grandson any day now. Her first pregnancy was full of problems, ending in an emrgency C-section and my daughter in ICU for 2 days. All turned out find..healthy mom and a beautiful baby girl. She and hubby had been told they would not be able to have more children...then she got pregnant last October. I was thrilled for them, and very scared. Thanks to many prayers, baby boy stayed put, and it has been a fairly normal pregnancy!@

As soon as she calls that she is in labor, I will head over to help with my grand-daughter, they live about 4 1/2 hours drive from here. So, knowing that I could get that call at anytime, when Master called today I asked if we could have maintenance during the early part of this week. I was thinking Wednesday...my bottom is not sore, but bruised from yesterday.
Master says He has time early this afternoon, and might be busy tomorrow.
UGH, I simply said, guess I will see you this afternoon.

When I got there, Master asked if I was hoping for tomorrow, I admitted I was, He congratulated me for simply saying yes. He was pleased that I took the iniative to ensure that maintenance would happen. So, I am thinking, He is pleased, a nice hand spanking won't be too bad.

After some kneeling time, I am told to get over the back of the sofa. UMmmm...not a hand spanking position, usually. Then I hear the belt...UGH. I love leather, but was sure it would light up my bottom quickly. After 3 strokes, the fire had been lit, I stayed in position, and Master made it quick, with lots of rubbing.

He then sat and invited me to get over His lap, a short hand spanking, and lots of roaming and touching and rubbing and a few orgasms later, I was pretty much jello. Master said He wanted me to get myself wet, and swollen and ready, and then to ask for permission tonight,,,such a chore, LOL...

Master was very pleased with my submission and attitude, and repeated to me, I can do anything I set my mind to. With His help and encouragement, I can!

I will keep you posted on the new grand baby news, if she has not delivered by July 1st it will be C section day. I will staying for about 2 weeks to help out...lucky me!

abby