Master and I are often on the same wave length, or pretty close. Then there are the times, I just need to adjust my thoughts, so we are on the same wave length.
Yesterday was MM day...Monday maintenance. I had decided..while wearing that plug on Sunday...that I needed to step up a bit, get more serious on the diet front. So, after our hugs I say to Master we need to chat about my diet...He looks at me, and says...that is exactly what I had in mind also. With the raised eyebrow and that look, the one that says we are not quite on the same wave length. I start by saying I have not been trying all that hard, He says He knew that, and so does everyone else after your last blog entry...hmmm, note self, maybe I should discuss some of what I am going to reveal here to Master first. I go on saying I want to be at least at my goal weight before I leave in 3 weeks to help out with the new arrival. I figured I had to lose 2 pounds and that sounded doable to me. Master's response is I want you 2 pounds under, time to get serious again.
We discuss my exercise routine, He rubs his hands over my face and asks how often I break out in a sweat. Sweat??...UGH...hmmm...never, unless I am walking and it is very hot. He is not impressed. He also reminds me,,,and I agree...I do not do well with maintaining. When I have a goal, and am trying to lose I am much more focused...we will discuss that again after I return from my next time away.
Master then gets the acrylic piece of shelving..it is small, but very OUCHIE! He says maintenance will be stepped up this week, so I can truly remember it all week. He nicely starts out with a long hand spanking, before starting in with the paddle. I get 2 sets of maybe 50 each...they are slow, hard and deliberate. He stops to rub after the first set, and then proceeds to remind me that they get harder as we get closer to the end. We finally get to the end, and Master says, do you feel like you have been punished? Except for the fact the He warmed me up....and it does make a BIG difference, it did have that feel, but not the pain.
Master then reminds me there is another difference between maintenance and punishment...no "fun" after a punishment. I am of course, wet and ready, and Master rather quickly gets me to the needing permission point.
As I am panting and coming back to reality, Master bends over and says quietly to me...Thank you for being my other half...HE knows how to melt me with actions and words.
have a good week...hugs abby
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
tis that time of the year
.....when busy takes on a whole new meaning! I applaud those of you who are managing to blog regularly, I have read some thought provoking and heart warming posts. It just reminds me what a wonderfully diverse and similar group we are.
I have been trying to get everything checked off my todo list for Christmas. I am flying to Boston on Saturday, to help my daughter in law, since they are hosting all of us, and since she is pregnant and working, she needs to find some sleep time. I have two more gifts to buy, and everything is wrapped. That part is under control.
I went to two Christmas parties in the past week, yesterday was my youngest daughter's birthday. She wanted to celebrate at Cheesecake Factory. Does anyone eat there and NOT have cheesecake?? Today was cookie baking day. We tried some new recipes, so had to taste and see. Unfortunately tomorrow is weigh in day....Master is probably going to become the grinch.
Last Wednesday when Master was giving my my "mid-week tune up", as He called it, He noticed I was crossing my ankles,,,again. I keep telling Him it is just a natural reflex, He sees it as an attempt to block off access.
He asked how much longer He should give me before He starts making this a punishment issue. I asked how long I could have...He replied the beginning of the year.
Friday's weigh in was a stay the same...but I only had 1/2 pound left before I crossed Master's line of "don't go there". I was over His lap, enjoying a wonderful hand spanking, when I felt a couple sharp slaps on my thighs. I turned to look at Him, He was looking at my crossed ankles. I did not mention it was not yet the first of the year, I simply said sorry. After the spanking and other "fun activities" I got another couple swats on my thighs for the same reason. So I guess the first of the year was not an exact date. It is often these little things that really trip me up. Since I don't even realize I have crossed them, I will have to really think about keeping my feet apart. Wish me luck!
Have a good week all...
abby
I have been trying to get everything checked off my todo list for Christmas. I am flying to Boston on Saturday, to help my daughter in law, since they are hosting all of us, and since she is pregnant and working, she needs to find some sleep time. I have two more gifts to buy, and everything is wrapped. That part is under control.
I went to two Christmas parties in the past week, yesterday was my youngest daughter's birthday. She wanted to celebrate at Cheesecake Factory. Does anyone eat there and NOT have cheesecake?? Today was cookie baking day. We tried some new recipes, so had to taste and see. Unfortunately tomorrow is weigh in day....Master is probably going to become the grinch.
Last Wednesday when Master was giving my my "mid-week tune up", as He called it, He noticed I was crossing my ankles,,,again. I keep telling Him it is just a natural reflex, He sees it as an attempt to block off access.
He asked how much longer He should give me before He starts making this a punishment issue. I asked how long I could have...He replied the beginning of the year.
Friday's weigh in was a stay the same...but I only had 1/2 pound left before I crossed Master's line of "don't go there". I was over His lap, enjoying a wonderful hand spanking, when I felt a couple sharp slaps on my thighs. I turned to look at Him, He was looking at my crossed ankles. I did not mention it was not yet the first of the year, I simply said sorry. After the spanking and other "fun activities" I got another couple swats on my thighs for the same reason. So I guess the first of the year was not an exact date. It is often these little things that really trip me up. Since I don't even realize I have crossed them, I will have to really think about keeping my feet apart. Wish me luck!
Have a good week all...
abby
Friday, November 18, 2011
catching up on the week
I have been meaning to post a couple times this week, but have been trying to get lots of other things done also, and they won out. One of those is my Christmas shopping. When my 3 children were little , I always had a goal of being finished by Thanksgiving...they were all born in December...yes poor planning, or no planning. This year, I decided to try again, and I am almost there!
When Master and I talked on Tuesday, He reminded me that my original target date for my recent diet goal was Thansgiving day, not the end of this week. I had decided to try for that goal, but He would only hold me to the original goal. In a way that was a relief, I still wanted this to be a really good week, but knowing I had more time eased the pressure.
Yesterday, Master was in the mood for nipple play, to be honest I am rarely in that mood. But, I have grown to relax a little and breathe...and even start to squirm. When I walked in Master was proud to show me the new yard stick He had acquired. I tried to show a little sincerety when I said it was such a nice yard stick....you can probably guess how that came off.
So, after my kneeling time, I was over the end of the sofa with the yard stick in His hand. It was very stingy, He tried it from near and from far...still stingy. Not like a large paddle, but I kept thinking a warm-up would really have helped.
Finally He had me go over His lap for a hand spanking. Lately he seems to be adding a warm-up after an initial spanking, but I love His hand so I will take it any time I can get it! He decided to play with my nipples while He was spanking me. He was going from one to the other, pulling tugging, pinching, not extremely hard. His fingers went to check and since I was starting to respond He decided to just play with my nipples. He was being gentle, circling, rubbing, massaging, and I was actually relaxing. Before I knew it, I heard this voice say, harder Sir please! He was only too glad to oblige. I have to admit, I felt that connection between my nipples and my clit, they were talking to each other! Master added a little extra, and I was off to the land of orgasms.
After I had landed and could breathe again, Master decided to give me an assignment for that evening. I was to play with my nipples until I was reading to cum, and only then could I ask for permission. Honestly, I wasn't sure I could do it. I asked, what if I can't, He said you can and you will. Last night, I sat for a long time, thinking about it, and knew I just had to start. I started slowly and gently, and remembering the afternoon , I could feel myself start to get wet and ready. I did stop and text Master for permission and waited. I usually get a quick reply, so I continued, when I had no reply and I was starting to near the point of no return, I decided to stop. No cuming without permission was one of Master's first rules...one that I had difficulty with. It has been a long time since I have crossed that line, and I have no desire to again. I did eventually get a permission, but I was ready for bed, and just replied with a good night.
My weigh in today was a minus 2.3 pounds! Master was very pleased, and although I am not at the goal, I am only about 1/2 pound away. Master had promised a flogging, rope, cuffs...session if I reached my goal, so I figured that was off the table, for now. We did not get our noon time chat in, but mid afternoon I get a text....flogger! Sometimes He is a softy!
Our afternoon, was amazing. Wrist and ankle cuffs, rope, and a blindfold. As I am laying there, I feel wood on my bottom, my head jerks around and Master chuckles and says...not what you were expecting. After lightly using several of His paddles, I feel the swoosh of the leather strands down my whole body. I instantly relax and let out a moan. Master says..guess I finally got it right!
He then stops and says He will be right back. He gets a toy to insert into my pussy and tells to be sure it stays put. Then He gives me what I have been craving. A long, hard, all over flogging. I can just feel all of the tension being pushed out of my body, all my muscles relaxing, my body just going with each swish. As I am floating, there is a short stop, and then I feel Master's whip. I am not surprised, Master loves His whip, and after a flogging, I can adjust to the change in sensation. I finally hear 20 more hard ones. Then He is rubbing and massaging and saying how hot my back is, and how it is so nicely welted. Master moves on to giving me a good hard release or two or three. I could feel all the sensations of the afternoon come crashing down on me and as I came, I also cried. I am always surprised and a little embarrassed when that happens. It takes me a while to get my bearings.
Master always movers right in, holds me, talks softly to me, telling me that is the best compliment I can give Him, my total release, giving up total control. The first time it happened I was scared, it totally takes all of my energy. I finally was able to speak and move. Master untied me and removed the cuffs, but kept the blindfold on. He had me get up and kneel with it on while He continued to speak softly and rub. Finally He removed the blindfold and I felt blinded by the bright light. After more hugs, I told Master I had a small confession to make.
When I ask or get a permission it is supposed to be used. So I told Master I had not used my permission last night. I explained that I did not want to cum without permission, so I had stopped playing with myself, and them it got late and I was tired. He said He was not surprised, whe he got my good nite, right after He sent my pemission. He was pleased that I did not cum without permission, and said I could have the 15 minute rule. It is a rule that I had a few years ago, and lost the privilege. If I don't get a reply in 15 minutes, I may cum. I said it was a dangerous rule. He smiled and said You have come a long way, You can handle it now.
I am flying to Boston tomorrow to see my 2 year old granddaughter and to help my daghter in law. She is pregnant and works overnight in a preemie extensive care unit, and is hosting Thanksgiving. Hopefull she can get more sleep and I can teach my little sweetie how to bake pies! If I don't get a chance to say this later....hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Among the things I am thankful for....your friendship and acceptance.
abby
When Master and I talked on Tuesday, He reminded me that my original target date for my recent diet goal was Thansgiving day, not the end of this week. I had decided to try for that goal, but He would only hold me to the original goal. In a way that was a relief, I still wanted this to be a really good week, but knowing I had more time eased the pressure.
Yesterday, Master was in the mood for nipple play, to be honest I am rarely in that mood. But, I have grown to relax a little and breathe...and even start to squirm. When I walked in Master was proud to show me the new yard stick He had acquired. I tried to show a little sincerety when I said it was such a nice yard stick....you can probably guess how that came off.
So, after my kneeling time, I was over the end of the sofa with the yard stick in His hand. It was very stingy, He tried it from near and from far...still stingy. Not like a large paddle, but I kept thinking a warm-up would really have helped.
Finally He had me go over His lap for a hand spanking. Lately he seems to be adding a warm-up after an initial spanking, but I love His hand so I will take it any time I can get it! He decided to play with my nipples while He was spanking me. He was going from one to the other, pulling tugging, pinching, not extremely hard. His fingers went to check and since I was starting to respond He decided to just play with my nipples. He was being gentle, circling, rubbing, massaging, and I was actually relaxing. Before I knew it, I heard this voice say, harder Sir please! He was only too glad to oblige. I have to admit, I felt that connection between my nipples and my clit, they were talking to each other! Master added a little extra, and I was off to the land of orgasms.
After I had landed and could breathe again, Master decided to give me an assignment for that evening. I was to play with my nipples until I was reading to cum, and only then could I ask for permission. Honestly, I wasn't sure I could do it. I asked, what if I can't, He said you can and you will. Last night, I sat for a long time, thinking about it, and knew I just had to start. I started slowly and gently, and remembering the afternoon , I could feel myself start to get wet and ready. I did stop and text Master for permission and waited. I usually get a quick reply, so I continued, when I had no reply and I was starting to near the point of no return, I decided to stop. No cuming without permission was one of Master's first rules...one that I had difficulty with. It has been a long time since I have crossed that line, and I have no desire to again. I did eventually get a permission, but I was ready for bed, and just replied with a good night.
My weigh in today was a minus 2.3 pounds! Master was very pleased, and although I am not at the goal, I am only about 1/2 pound away. Master had promised a flogging, rope, cuffs...session if I reached my goal, so I figured that was off the table, for now. We did not get our noon time chat in, but mid afternoon I get a text....flogger! Sometimes He is a softy!
Our afternoon, was amazing. Wrist and ankle cuffs, rope, and a blindfold. As I am laying there, I feel wood on my bottom, my head jerks around and Master chuckles and says...not what you were expecting. After lightly using several of His paddles, I feel the swoosh of the leather strands down my whole body. I instantly relax and let out a moan. Master says..guess I finally got it right!
He then stops and says He will be right back. He gets a toy to insert into my pussy and tells to be sure it stays put. Then He gives me what I have been craving. A long, hard, all over flogging. I can just feel all of the tension being pushed out of my body, all my muscles relaxing, my body just going with each swish. As I am floating, there is a short stop, and then I feel Master's whip. I am not surprised, Master loves His whip, and after a flogging, I can adjust to the change in sensation. I finally hear 20 more hard ones. Then He is rubbing and massaging and saying how hot my back is, and how it is so nicely welted. Master moves on to giving me a good hard release or two or three. I could feel all the sensations of the afternoon come crashing down on me and as I came, I also cried. I am always surprised and a little embarrassed when that happens. It takes me a while to get my bearings.
Master always movers right in, holds me, talks softly to me, telling me that is the best compliment I can give Him, my total release, giving up total control. The first time it happened I was scared, it totally takes all of my energy. I finally was able to speak and move. Master untied me and removed the cuffs, but kept the blindfold on. He had me get up and kneel with it on while He continued to speak softly and rub. Finally He removed the blindfold and I felt blinded by the bright light. After more hugs, I told Master I had a small confession to make.
When I ask or get a permission it is supposed to be used. So I told Master I had not used my permission last night. I explained that I did not want to cum without permission, so I had stopped playing with myself, and them it got late and I was tired. He said He was not surprised, whe he got my good nite, right after He sent my pemission. He was pleased that I did not cum without permission, and said I could have the 15 minute rule. It is a rule that I had a few years ago, and lost the privilege. If I don't get a reply in 15 minutes, I may cum. I said it was a dangerous rule. He smiled and said You have come a long way, You can handle it now.
I am flying to Boston tomorrow to see my 2 year old granddaughter and to help my daghter in law. She is pregnant and works overnight in a preemie extensive care unit, and is hosting Thanksgiving. Hopefull she can get more sleep and I can teach my little sweetie how to bake pies! If I don't get a chance to say this later....hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Among the things I am thankful for....your friendship and acceptance.
abby
Monday, November 7, 2011
diets, belts and submission
I have been sitting here trying to think of a title. The above is the best I could do.
I haven't mentioned that miserable D word is a while..diet. Usually after I reach a goal, I either ask Master to help me reach another goal, or Master will ask if I am willing to try for more. This time I wavered, did not really want to go on, wanted a break. Master enticed me by saying if I lost 10 more by Thanksgiving I could stay the same (plus 2 pound from my goal) until Jan. 1st. Then we would discuss it and I could decide if I wanted to set another goal. This was a few weeks ago, and I agreed. It's been a struggle. I just really want a break. When I said that to Master, He said, we made a deal...You can do this. I asked if I did not reach the goal by Thanksgiving, would the deadline be extended. He replied, yes, but the goal would also be higher. "Not fair", was my instant reply. I do know that "fair", as most people look at it, does not exist in a power exchange relationship. I am half way there. I told Master this afternoon, my heart was not in this, He acknowledged that, and said reach your goal, you get a break. I have always believed that in order to lose weight it has to be for you...you have to really want to. I still believe that, but I guess if you have a Master who really wants you to....that works also.
Part of my problem with this, I think, is that we have been working on this diet for a long time. It has been a part of our dynamic for so long, I am afraid that without it, maybe...Master will consider His "job" done. It scares me, even though I realize it is not logical.
When we met this afternoon, Master treated me to His belt. After my kneeling time, He had me lay over the arm of the sofa. As soon as I started to hear Him taking His belt through the loops I looked up...it's been a while since His belt came into play. He started off lightly and stopped often to rub....oh...I was just beginning to float when the thud changed to a sharp sting. Master had "unlooped" the belt and the single strip was really stingy. I was struggling both with the surprise and the sting. Master quickly said, I don't like this as much and the double, I quickly agreed. I was soon settling in again to the feel of the leather, and the increase in heat. I hear Master say, "Hang on tight", and I know He is going to rev it up. Last 12 were much harder, but I was in my zone by then, and welcomed them.
Master then had me get over His lap for a hand spanking. It occured to me to say to Him this part should come first...His hand can be hard, but after a good "belting", its effect is diminished. After more spanking, rubbing, and some roaming of His fingers, I was told to kneel between His legs. Let's just say, He had other submissive activities in mind.
Then it was my turn. I could feel myself getting wet, and wanting to cum. Master, slowly brought me to the peak, and it was amazing. Master even commented, how are you going to descibe this orgasm on your blog. So I am not even going to try...the word "earthquake" does come to mind. It took me a while to come back to my senses, Master was there holding and rubbing and speaking smoothly to me.
Submission, it covers lots of ground. Losing 5 more pounds when it is the last thing I want to do.....and spending the afternoon pleasing and being pleasured.
abby
I haven't mentioned that miserable D word is a while..diet. Usually after I reach a goal, I either ask Master to help me reach another goal, or Master will ask if I am willing to try for more. This time I wavered, did not really want to go on, wanted a break. Master enticed me by saying if I lost 10 more by Thanksgiving I could stay the same (plus 2 pound from my goal) until Jan. 1st. Then we would discuss it and I could decide if I wanted to set another goal. This was a few weeks ago, and I agreed. It's been a struggle. I just really want a break. When I said that to Master, He said, we made a deal...You can do this. I asked if I did not reach the goal by Thanksgiving, would the deadline be extended. He replied, yes, but the goal would also be higher. "Not fair", was my instant reply. I do know that "fair", as most people look at it, does not exist in a power exchange relationship. I am half way there. I told Master this afternoon, my heart was not in this, He acknowledged that, and said reach your goal, you get a break. I have always believed that in order to lose weight it has to be for you...you have to really want to. I still believe that, but I guess if you have a Master who really wants you to....that works also.
Part of my problem with this, I think, is that we have been working on this diet for a long time. It has been a part of our dynamic for so long, I am afraid that without it, maybe...Master will consider His "job" done. It scares me, even though I realize it is not logical.
When we met this afternoon, Master treated me to His belt. After my kneeling time, He had me lay over the arm of the sofa. As soon as I started to hear Him taking His belt through the loops I looked up...it's been a while since His belt came into play. He started off lightly and stopped often to rub....oh...I was just beginning to float when the thud changed to a sharp sting. Master had "unlooped" the belt and the single strip was really stingy. I was struggling both with the surprise and the sting. Master quickly said, I don't like this as much and the double, I quickly agreed. I was soon settling in again to the feel of the leather, and the increase in heat. I hear Master say, "Hang on tight", and I know He is going to rev it up. Last 12 were much harder, but I was in my zone by then, and welcomed them.
Master then had me get over His lap for a hand spanking. It occured to me to say to Him this part should come first...His hand can be hard, but after a good "belting", its effect is diminished. After more spanking, rubbing, and some roaming of His fingers, I was told to kneel between His legs. Let's just say, He had other submissive activities in mind.
Then it was my turn. I could feel myself getting wet, and wanting to cum. Master, slowly brought me to the peak, and it was amazing. Master even commented, how are you going to descibe this orgasm on your blog. So I am not even going to try...the word "earthquake" does come to mind. It took me a while to come back to my senses, Master was there holding and rubbing and speaking smoothly to me.
Submission, it covers lots of ground. Losing 5 more pounds when it is the last thing I want to do.....and spending the afternoon pleasing and being pleasured.
abby
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
maintenance, punishment and permissions!
Master and I had plans for yesterday. I asked if we could move maintenance spankings to the beginning of the week, thinking it would be more of a motivator. Just as I was leaving I got a call, canceled until Tuesday. He was disappointed as I was, and part of our conversation went like this..
M...I will be seeing you tomorrow, and we will have Maintenance.
me...I don't think so , I have book club tomorrow
M...(repeating), I will be seeing you tomorrow
me...(repeating), I have book club tomorrow
M...maybe you will be at book club with a sore bottom
me... guess we will see...
I will admit, after we hung up I thought, hmmm, maybe I was a little too "cheeky". Master never...at least so far...says no to a request for a planned club meeting or social event....so I did not think, He would not allow book club.
Today, Master and I met at lunch time. We started with the usual kneeling time, only as He was tugging, pulling and pinching my breasts, He was also pulling my hair, hard. It did take my mind off my breasts, and quickly put me in a very submissive place.
Then it was over His lap. We started with a hand warm-up. Yummy! A little rubbing, some all over spanking, and I was relaxed. He asked if it was enough of a warm-up...and although it never really is....I said it was. I felt the cool wood of a light paddle and took a deep breath. Master was paddling at a steady rate, and heating up my bottom, but I also recoginized it was not the hardest paddling. I crossed my ankles, and Master said to open them, than later crossed them again. He pulled them apart, I apologized and said it was instinct. He said, partly, but it is also not being totally open to me, do not cross them. They ( notice I am blaming my feet), did cross once more, but I quickly spread them on my own. One more thing for me to think about when I am trying to breathe.
Master stopped, and I am thinking, this was a pretty good maintenance.
Then, as the paddle is circling my bottom, He asks....what did you think of out last phone chat? Ut Oh....this might not be good. I ask,,,yesterday's? He says yes, that was the last time. I am stalling, trying to think of a good answer....one that might not set that paddle going again.
I say it was not my best submissive self. He asks why...what did I do that I should not. The respect word comes up, and I am always disappointed in myself when He feels I have been disrespectful...and He is right. He reminds me He does not allow even a little bit of disrespect.
Maintenance will now move on to punishment. The paddle is really flying, and much harder. I am hanging on to my pillow, and determined to stay in place, and accept this punishment. It seems to go on forever, my bottom is on fire. I finally shout out...I am sorry Sir. He says that's a start, and has me tell Him what I am sorry for, and why...and how I will change that behaviour...all the time still really swinging that paddle. finally I hear...Count them!...I hate counting...One Sir, and He is now swinging even harder....I decide to count quickly, and I manage to get to 10...with of course the last one being harder still. He stops, I am trying to catch my breath...
I am sent to fetch the toy that He bought for me, the one that I always insist is too big...and He chuckles. I am ready and soon I am close to needing permission, it is granted and I am off. After a bit, I try to calm, but Master is still navigating the toy, and now has started using the paddle at the same time. I ask for another permission, and even after, I seem to be full of "smalled tremors" as Master put it.
On the diet front, I lost 1/2 pound over the weekend. I was getting discouraged, and wondering if maybe I needed a break. Master....who I swear can read my mind suggested a no carb week. Actually He said, no carbs this week. I am a carboholic, especially at breakfast and lunch. Since the weather has been great, I have been walking a near by bike path, even on the weekend. We discussed how the no carb was going, and I think pretty well. I have a breakfst, a lunch and a dinner out this week, each with a different group of friends, so we will see. I really want a good number on Friday, so hopefully I will make wise choices.
Our amazing weather is about to come to an end...but it has been great!
abby
M...I will be seeing you tomorrow, and we will have Maintenance.
me...I don't think so , I have book club tomorrow
M...(repeating), I will be seeing you tomorrow
me...(repeating), I have book club tomorrow
M...maybe you will be at book club with a sore bottom
me... guess we will see...
I will admit, after we hung up I thought, hmmm, maybe I was a little too "cheeky". Master never...at least so far...says no to a request for a planned club meeting or social event....so I did not think, He would not allow book club.
Today, Master and I met at lunch time. We started with the usual kneeling time, only as He was tugging, pulling and pinching my breasts, He was also pulling my hair, hard. It did take my mind off my breasts, and quickly put me in a very submissive place.
Then it was over His lap. We started with a hand warm-up. Yummy! A little rubbing, some all over spanking, and I was relaxed. He asked if it was enough of a warm-up...and although it never really is....I said it was. I felt the cool wood of a light paddle and took a deep breath. Master was paddling at a steady rate, and heating up my bottom, but I also recoginized it was not the hardest paddling. I crossed my ankles, and Master said to open them, than later crossed them again. He pulled them apart, I apologized and said it was instinct. He said, partly, but it is also not being totally open to me, do not cross them. They ( notice I am blaming my feet), did cross once more, but I quickly spread them on my own. One more thing for me to think about when I am trying to breathe.
Master stopped, and I am thinking, this was a pretty good maintenance.
Then, as the paddle is circling my bottom, He asks....what did you think of out last phone chat? Ut Oh....this might not be good. I ask,,,yesterday's? He says yes, that was the last time. I am stalling, trying to think of a good answer....one that might not set that paddle going again.
I say it was not my best submissive self. He asks why...what did I do that I should not. The respect word comes up, and I am always disappointed in myself when He feels I have been disrespectful...and He is right. He reminds me He does not allow even a little bit of disrespect.
Maintenance will now move on to punishment. The paddle is really flying, and much harder. I am hanging on to my pillow, and determined to stay in place, and accept this punishment. It seems to go on forever, my bottom is on fire. I finally shout out...I am sorry Sir. He says that's a start, and has me tell Him what I am sorry for, and why...and how I will change that behaviour...all the time still really swinging that paddle. finally I hear...Count them!...I hate counting...One Sir, and He is now swinging even harder....I decide to count quickly, and I manage to get to 10...with of course the last one being harder still. He stops, I am trying to catch my breath...
I am sent to fetch the toy that He bought for me, the one that I always insist is too big...and He chuckles. I am ready and soon I am close to needing permission, it is granted and I am off. After a bit, I try to calm, but Master is still navigating the toy, and now has started using the paddle at the same time. I ask for another permission, and even after, I seem to be full of "smalled tremors" as Master put it.
On the diet front, I lost 1/2 pound over the weekend. I was getting discouraged, and wondering if maybe I needed a break. Master....who I swear can read my mind suggested a no carb week. Actually He said, no carbs this week. I am a carboholic, especially at breakfast and lunch. Since the weather has been great, I have been walking a near by bike path, even on the weekend. We discussed how the no carb was going, and I think pretty well. I have a breakfst, a lunch and a dinner out this week, each with a different group of friends, so we will see. I really want a good number on Friday, so hopefully I will make wise choices.
Our amazing weather is about to come to an end...but it has been great!
abby
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