I have been sitting here trying to think of a title. The above is the best I could do.
I haven't mentioned that miserable D word is a while..diet. Usually after I reach a goal, I either ask Master to help me reach another goal, or Master will ask if I am willing to try for more. This time I wavered, did not really want to go on, wanted a break. Master enticed me by saying if I lost 10 more by Thanksgiving I could stay the same (plus 2 pound from my goal) until Jan. 1st. Then we would discuss it and I could decide if I wanted to set another goal. This was a few weeks ago, and I agreed. It's been a struggle. I just really want a break. When I said that to Master, He said, we made a deal...You can do this. I asked if I did not reach the goal by Thanksgiving, would the deadline be extended. He replied, yes, but the goal would also be higher. "Not fair", was my instant reply. I do know that "fair", as most people look at it, does not exist in a power exchange relationship. I am half way there. I told Master this afternoon, my heart was not in this, He acknowledged that, and said reach your goal, you get a break. I have always believed that in order to lose weight it has to be for you...you have to really want to. I still believe that, but I guess if you have a Master who really wants you to....that works also.
Part of my problem with this, I think, is that we have been working on this diet for a long time. It has been a part of our dynamic for so long, I am afraid that without it, maybe...Master will consider His "job" done. It scares me, even though I realize it is not logical.
When we met this afternoon, Master treated me to His belt. After my kneeling time, He had me lay over the arm of the sofa. As soon as I started to hear Him taking His belt through the loops I looked up...it's been a while since His belt came into play. He started off lightly and stopped often to rub....oh...I was just beginning to float when the thud changed to a sharp sting. Master had "unlooped" the belt and the single strip was really stingy. I was struggling both with the surprise and the sting. Master quickly said, I don't like this as much and the double, I quickly agreed. I was soon settling in again to the feel of the leather, and the increase in heat. I hear Master say, "Hang on tight", and I know He is going to rev it up. Last 12 were much harder, but I was in my zone by then, and welcomed them.
Master then had me get over His lap for a hand spanking. It occured to me to say to Him this part should come first...His hand can be hard, but after a good "belting", its effect is diminished. After more spanking, rubbing, and some roaming of His fingers, I was told to kneel between His legs. Let's just say, He had other submissive activities in mind.
Then it was my turn. I could feel myself getting wet, and wanting to cum. Master, slowly brought me to the peak, and it was amazing. Master even commented, how are you going to descibe this orgasm on your blog. So I am not even going to try...the word "earthquake" does come to mind. It took me a while to come back to my senses, Master was there holding and rubbing and speaking smoothly to me.
Submission, it covers lots of ground. Losing 5 more pounds when it is the last thing I want to do.....and spending the afternoon pleasing and being pleasured.
abby
Showing posts with label submission. Show all posts
Showing posts with label submission. Show all posts
Monday, November 7, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
A good start to 2011
Master and i had a wonderfully delicious morning..a great way to start 2011!
Only it started out with a misstep. Master emailed me early this morning, to remind me to start on the wii and that i needed to report my weigh in. I read the text and did both. Later Master calls and asks if there is a problem...He has been waiting for me. I had not read the whole text...big OOPS! I quickly apologized and went to Him.
The oops was forgiven, but with a warning i should check my messages more carefully. We hugged and chatted, Master was pleased with my New Year's note and with my last blog post on obedience/submission. He pointed out how far i have come, places where i have definately improved recently, and how He looks forward to this year.
Then it was kneeling time where He claimed all parts of me, and i never even flinched..even with pinching and pulling of my so sensitive nipples. A wonderfully relaxing long hand spanking mixed in with lots of rubbing was next on the agenda. I was soo relaxed. Then Master said, "reach over and hand me to bath brush". Not words i enjoy hearing. Without hesitation, i reached over and gave it to Him. I could feel His smile as He commented, good job, very submissive, no hesitation.
He started off slowly, built slowly, and i was still somewhat relaxed.
Mater then asked if i wanted my first maintenance for the year, now or after my flogging. I opted for now, and He reminded me that i am to ask for maintenance. I did, and that darn bath brush was heating up my bottom with harder spanks. Master had me tell Him why we have maintenance...to keep me on track, to keep my "voices" quiet, to help to avoid a major punishment session. Then without warning a fast and hard flurry of spanks. I did manage to breathe through them and stay in place, but was very glad when they stopped.
FLOGGER time!! Master remarked that we ended the year with a flogging and are starting the new year with one...that is one tradition i intend on keeping. The feel of that leather all over my back and bottom, the THUDS, the dragging of the leather strips up and down my body, between my legs, the harder landings that seem to push out any stress that might still be lingering....have i mentioned that i love Master's flogger! Master ended with 20 much harder ones, my back and bottom were nice and warm and tingly.
Master then tells me to get my bottom high over the back of the couch. I hate that position, and always wait to be told at least twice, but i took a deep breath and walked over and got into position. Master reminded me to keep my legs open, and i complied. Master had a large strap in His hands. I managed to stay in position during the strapping even the last 20 much harder ones. Yes, i did have those elusive tears in my eyes, but there was no sobbing.
When i get up there is a big hug waiting for me, with lots of praise.
Master then has me get back in kneeling position where He reaches in and brings me to the brink of orgasm. He reminds me to stay in position, as He continues, and has me asking for permission to cum. It is granted, and i am soon lost in all the sensations, as i cum for my Master. Master immediately pulls me between His legs and is rubbing and cuddling and bringing me back to earth. Master is speaking softly to me, telling me how proud He is that i stayed in postion and kept myself open to Him, how much my submission pleases Him.
I then asked for permission for an errand i wanted to run, took a deep breath and asked for permission to go to Boston to do some babysitting in a couple of weeks. Asking for permission for my trips to see family is something i have been avoiding. Not because Master would ever just randomly say no...He knows how important they are to me, and is always generous with any permissions....but it was just something i did not want to let go of. Asking for permission always opens the door to a no. Master asked if i had already said yes, i honestly said that i had said i probably could. He did give me permission, and said next time i have to check would be a better answer. This was a big step for me, a step in submission and trust. After more hugs, i was off to run my errand.
A wonderful way to start the new year, with hopes of many more wonderful times to come. Thank you Master for leaving me feeling submissive, safe, cared for, and satisfied. My submission to You is the road to being "me", to a special place and feelings i never imagined possible.
abby
Only it started out with a misstep. Master emailed me early this morning, to remind me to start on the wii and that i needed to report my weigh in. I read the text and did both. Later Master calls and asks if there is a problem...He has been waiting for me. I had not read the whole text...big OOPS! I quickly apologized and went to Him.
The oops was forgiven, but with a warning i should check my messages more carefully. We hugged and chatted, Master was pleased with my New Year's note and with my last blog post on obedience/submission. He pointed out how far i have come, places where i have definately improved recently, and how He looks forward to this year.
Then it was kneeling time where He claimed all parts of me, and i never even flinched..even with pinching and pulling of my so sensitive nipples. A wonderfully relaxing long hand spanking mixed in with lots of rubbing was next on the agenda. I was soo relaxed. Then Master said, "reach over and hand me to bath brush". Not words i enjoy hearing. Without hesitation, i reached over and gave it to Him. I could feel His smile as He commented, good job, very submissive, no hesitation.
He started off slowly, built slowly, and i was still somewhat relaxed.
Mater then asked if i wanted my first maintenance for the year, now or after my flogging. I opted for now, and He reminded me that i am to ask for maintenance. I did, and that darn bath brush was heating up my bottom with harder spanks. Master had me tell Him why we have maintenance...to keep me on track, to keep my "voices" quiet, to help to avoid a major punishment session. Then without warning a fast and hard flurry of spanks. I did manage to breathe through them and stay in place, but was very glad when they stopped.
FLOGGER time!! Master remarked that we ended the year with a flogging and are starting the new year with one...that is one tradition i intend on keeping. The feel of that leather all over my back and bottom, the THUDS, the dragging of the leather strips up and down my body, between my legs, the harder landings that seem to push out any stress that might still be lingering....have i mentioned that i love Master's flogger! Master ended with 20 much harder ones, my back and bottom were nice and warm and tingly.
Master then tells me to get my bottom high over the back of the couch. I hate that position, and always wait to be told at least twice, but i took a deep breath and walked over and got into position. Master reminded me to keep my legs open, and i complied. Master had a large strap in His hands. I managed to stay in position during the strapping even the last 20 much harder ones. Yes, i did have those elusive tears in my eyes, but there was no sobbing.
When i get up there is a big hug waiting for me, with lots of praise.
Master then has me get back in kneeling position where He reaches in and brings me to the brink of orgasm. He reminds me to stay in position, as He continues, and has me asking for permission to cum. It is granted, and i am soon lost in all the sensations, as i cum for my Master. Master immediately pulls me between His legs and is rubbing and cuddling and bringing me back to earth. Master is speaking softly to me, telling me how proud He is that i stayed in postion and kept myself open to Him, how much my submission pleases Him.
I then asked for permission for an errand i wanted to run, took a deep breath and asked for permission to go to Boston to do some babysitting in a couple of weeks. Asking for permission for my trips to see family is something i have been avoiding. Not because Master would ever just randomly say no...He knows how important they are to me, and is always generous with any permissions....but it was just something i did not want to let go of. Asking for permission always opens the door to a no. Master asked if i had already said yes, i honestly said that i had said i probably could. He did give me permission, and said next time i have to check would be a better answer. This was a big step for me, a step in submission and trust. After more hugs, i was off to run my errand.
A wonderful way to start the new year, with hopes of many more wonderful times to come. Thank you Master for leaving me feeling submissive, safe, cared for, and satisfied. My submission to You is the road to being "me", to a special place and feelings i never imagined possible.
abby
Friday, October 1, 2010
thoughts on submission
I just spent a very full day at the zoo, 2 playgrounds, a tea party, playing kick ball, and answering a multitude of questions..all with the most charming 2 year old! I did manage to tire her out...Hurrah for grandma!
I have been catching up on my blog reading. As often happens, some of the topics pricked at my brain, and caused me to stop and think. I decided to do some of that thinking here.
The questions that piqued my interest were...what is a true submissive...and how does one become a true submissive?
I am going to do a post on each one, since i need to match energy and wits with that 2 year old again tomorrow, so i need an early bedtime also.
What is a true submissive? Probably about a year ago, i greeted Master with the question, do You really think i am submissive? I caught Him by surprise, and He started to chuckle, then He realized i was serious. He proceeded to list all the reasons why i was, and after we talked it out, there was a long session where he made my doubts disappear.
I have no definition for a "true submissive", or even for a submissive. As most of you have seen me write before, there is no 1 definition that fits all....not for submissive, slave, Master, top , bottom...any label in this lifestyle. I do think that submission comes from inside of a person, as does domminance. I don't think you can train someone to be a Dominant...yes you can teach a person how to spank, how to use the various implements, how to practice bondage, etc...but dominance is more than that. It is something that is built in, something that is lived every day, almost like an aura. Dominance, of another person, is a lot of work and commitment. It is not just some spanking fun.
What about the other side of the dominance coin...submission? Can you train someone to be submissive? I think maybe you can...at least for a while. But "true" submission, comes from inside a person. I don't have a clue how to define a submissive. For me, it is a need deep inside of me, that for a long time, was not even evident to me. Once that need was allowed to surface, and started to be fed, it grew, and continues to grow.
I have a fairly good idea of what a submissive is not.
A submissive is not a doormat.
A submissvie is not a "slave in training".
A submissive is not just someone who enjoys getting spanked.
A submissive cannot be submissive to her/himself.
A submissive is not just someone what wants to be relieved of all responsibilities.
For me, a submissive, has a need, an urge to serve and please. A submissive wants to cede control to another and is willing to submit to discipline. A submissive feels complete when she has served her Master well. To a lucky few, submission is a way of life that brings happyness and peace.
My eyes are closing, my bed is calling me. What is a true submissive...that is probably different for everyone. Maybe the best answer is,,,whatever her Master wants her to be.
I would be interested in seeing other definitions to the word submissive.
abby
I have been catching up on my blog reading. As often happens, some of the topics pricked at my brain, and caused me to stop and think. I decided to do some of that thinking here.
The questions that piqued my interest were...what is a true submissive...and how does one become a true submissive?
I am going to do a post on each one, since i need to match energy and wits with that 2 year old again tomorrow, so i need an early bedtime also.
What is a true submissive? Probably about a year ago, i greeted Master with the question, do You really think i am submissive? I caught Him by surprise, and He started to chuckle, then He realized i was serious. He proceeded to list all the reasons why i was, and after we talked it out, there was a long session where he made my doubts disappear.
I have no definition for a "true submissive", or even for a submissive. As most of you have seen me write before, there is no 1 definition that fits all....not for submissive, slave, Master, top , bottom...any label in this lifestyle. I do think that submission comes from inside of a person, as does domminance. I don't think you can train someone to be a Dominant...yes you can teach a person how to spank, how to use the various implements, how to practice bondage, etc...but dominance is more than that. It is something that is built in, something that is lived every day, almost like an aura. Dominance, of another person, is a lot of work and commitment. It is not just some spanking fun.
What about the other side of the dominance coin...submission? Can you train someone to be submissive? I think maybe you can...at least for a while. But "true" submission, comes from inside a person. I don't have a clue how to define a submissive. For me, it is a need deep inside of me, that for a long time, was not even evident to me. Once that need was allowed to surface, and started to be fed, it grew, and continues to grow.
I have a fairly good idea of what a submissive is not.
A submissive is not a doormat.
A submissvie is not a "slave in training".
A submissive is not just someone who enjoys getting spanked.
A submissive cannot be submissive to her/himself.
A submissive is not just someone what wants to be relieved of all responsibilities.
For me, a submissive, has a need, an urge to serve and please. A submissive wants to cede control to another and is willing to submit to discipline. A submissive feels complete when she has served her Master well. To a lucky few, submission is a way of life that brings happyness and peace.
My eyes are closing, my bed is calling me. What is a true submissive...that is probably different for everyone. Maybe the best answer is,,,whatever her Master wants her to be.
I would be interested in seeing other definitions to the word submissive.
abby
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