It was a wonderful birthday weekend. My granddaughter is quickly becoming a little girl, no longer a baby. She was very excited over her birthday weekend, did not have any "meltdowns", and loved every gift she received. My son and daughter in law in Boston, announced that they are also expecting a new addition in the late fall. So, by the end of this year, I will have doubled my grandchild count!...How exciting!
The one "clink" was by me. I felt my back twitch several times over the weekend, but managed to just ignore it. The last nite we were there, I tried to roll over in bed... and big OUCH, from my back, down my leg. It was a long nite, the next morning, it took me 15 minutes to figure out how to get out of bed. I did get out of sharing the driving...but driving would have been much more fun. I am slowly getting better...much too slowly. I can sleep all night, and as long as I don't bend and move slowly I can move around during the day.
I am really hoping that I can get a "good" ouch from Master soon, since i am leaving Sunday for Boston to help with my 18 month old granddaughter, and to see my mom. It is my dad's birthday that week, so my sister and i have planned to do something special with her.
abby...who is still waiting for spring weather to arrive!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Big party weekend!
I am excited that i will be partying this weekend! No not a munch or a spanking party, or anything do to with spanking....my granddaughter turns 3!
She is sooo excited, she has called me twice this week,to be sure i don't forget. She wants a cake...with the letters C A K E on it...today i teased and said grandma put on k e a c...she said that does not spell cake grandma! She wants balloons, ice cream and surprises! My son and his family are also driving to the party from Boston, so we will all be together. Looks like a hectic, busy, wonderful time!
I did see Master today, for a reminder, weekend maintenance spanking...not sure why every spanking needs a title. He's been working on a complete re-do of a bathroom, is getting close to being finished and it is beautiful. But lately, everytime i get spanked it seems to be with some leftover piece of material! I can't wait for Him to start putting the towels in place!
Today's "gem" was a piece of acrylic something...He gave me the technical name i just can't remember. He used the other part of it for a shelf in the shower. So, after some kneeling time, i went ovet His lap, and He started with my clothes on, a few with His hand, then this big sting! I put my head up and tried to see what He was using. He showed me and i moaned. We worked our way to my bare bottom, and that thing packs a wallop! Much more sting that any of the leftover pieces of wood He has been using. The last 10 were very hard! As i was squirming, He said, these can't be that hard or any worse than wood...in my head i am saying then let's try them on You and You can judge! I have learned to keep those conversations in my head, at least most of the time.
When He was done He said i took that well....like i had a choice! i did get nicely rewarded, with Master checking and playing and rubbing til i just had to have a permission or 2. Actually it seemd like one very long orgasm, just more and more and more. Finally when i calmed down, i asked for another...which i rarely do. Master chuckled and said, oh...more than one....even when it is a never ending one? When Master and i first started on this journey, i always told Him 1 was enough...more than enough...He only listened to me the first couple of times, before he decided how many was enough.
We chatted a bit about the coming weekend and staying in touch, and that the maintaining part of the diet does not take a break. Master hates to go backwards. As i was leaving i told Master to be sure to put that acrylic thingy in the recycle bin!
Hope you all have a great weekend....and i will be enjoying party time with my 2 sweet granddaughters!
abby
She is sooo excited, she has called me twice this week,to be sure i don't forget. She wants a cake...with the letters C A K E on it...today i teased and said grandma put on k e a c...she said that does not spell cake grandma! She wants balloons, ice cream and surprises! My son and his family are also driving to the party from Boston, so we will all be together. Looks like a hectic, busy, wonderful time!
I did see Master today, for a reminder, weekend maintenance spanking...not sure why every spanking needs a title. He's been working on a complete re-do of a bathroom, is getting close to being finished and it is beautiful. But lately, everytime i get spanked it seems to be with some leftover piece of material! I can't wait for Him to start putting the towels in place!
Today's "gem" was a piece of acrylic something...He gave me the technical name i just can't remember. He used the other part of it for a shelf in the shower. So, after some kneeling time, i went ovet His lap, and He started with my clothes on, a few with His hand, then this big sting! I put my head up and tried to see what He was using. He showed me and i moaned. We worked our way to my bare bottom, and that thing packs a wallop! Much more sting that any of the leftover pieces of wood He has been using. The last 10 were very hard! As i was squirming, He said, these can't be that hard or any worse than wood...in my head i am saying then let's try them on You and You can judge! I have learned to keep those conversations in my head, at least most of the time.
When He was done He said i took that well....like i had a choice! i did get nicely rewarded, with Master checking and playing and rubbing til i just had to have a permission or 2. Actually it seemd like one very long orgasm, just more and more and more. Finally when i calmed down, i asked for another...which i rarely do. Master chuckled and said, oh...more than one....even when it is a never ending one? When Master and i first started on this journey, i always told Him 1 was enough...more than enough...He only listened to me the first couple of times, before he decided how many was enough.
We chatted a bit about the coming weekend and staying in touch, and that the maintaining part of the diet does not take a break. Master hates to go backwards. As i was leaving i told Master to be sure to put that acrylic thingy in the recycle bin!
Hope you all have a great weekend....and i will be enjoying party time with my 2 sweet granddaughters!
abby
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Needing maintenance, asking
One of the things that i was unprepared for when i started on this journey was the feeling of neediness that seemed to overcome me. Being needy was not something i ever considered a good thing, i was in control, in charge of my life, there was no room for such feelings. I did not know how to deal with those feelings, and tried very hard to ignore them, banish them, pretend they were not a part of me.
Master has helped me to understand that needing Him is a natural feeling. Nothing to be ashamed of, not a sign of weakness, just a part of "me". Asking for what i need, is hard for me. Master keeps telling me, just ask...yeah just. I don't know, maybe a part of me still feels like it is a weakness.
I started this week in a "funk". It was a tough weekend, dealing with family matters, and a few other concerns. I gained 1/2 pound yesterday, which Master was ok with...it put me right at my goal. I knew yesterday that i "needed" to see Master, but decided not to mention it. He has a full plate, and i just did not feel right asking.
Today, i knew i was on shaky gound. The first thing i thought of this morning, was i need maintenance. When i let Master know of my plans for the morning, i did not mention it. I called after i had been out to breakfast with friends, left a message saying i would try calling later. I did, and this time did not leave a message.
Master called me back and after some chatting, i mentioned that "m' word. He said, we could stick to Wednesdays, and i was silent. Or, He continued, we could meet today. Today would be good i quickly said, thinking i wonder if He was reading my mind again?
After the usual kneeling time, Master decided to change things a little. Maintenance has been over His knee with a small paddle for quite a while now. As i was waitng for Him to sit, so i could climb over His knee, He told me to bare my bottom and lean over the back of the sofa. I groaned, He smiled. One of my least favorite, and hardest to stay in positions. When i had walked in i had seen a piece of wooden molding by the sofa, so i moved it and put my coat over it.....just in case.
Master is looking for something, as i am getting ready. He asks if i saw a piece of molding, and did i move it. I sort of just give Him a smile. He leaves and quickly returns with a larger and much heavier piece of wood. Your choice He says, i quickly remember where that piece of molding "disappeared" to.
He gives me a hard whack with it, and it HURT. After the second one i start to stand, He reminds me to stay in place, i reply it really hurts. After the next one He says i am only going to give you 12. Knowing how many usually helps me to get through them. This time, i say, no way, not 12, they hurt. Master's reply is you don't like 12, ok we will go for 18, as He whacks me again. I quickly am telling Him how much i love the idea of 12, and please can the number be 12? Luckily, He agrees.
My ouching gets louder. Master remarks that maybe it is because there was no warm up. Hearing that, i have several answers swirling in my head, but i remember i am over the sofa, and He is holding wood, so i choose to stay quiet...a hard learned lesson.
Finally, He is done...and He tells me to stay in place while, He starts to get me to relax, before He gets me avey "unrelaxed", and asking for permissions. When we are done, He has us move to the sofa, where He tells me to lay across His lap and He will rub the sting away. It is relaxing, and comforting, and soon those darn tears are showing up. We talk about them a bit, and Master ecnourages me to talk about what i have been struggling with. I am not ready to do that, so Master starts talking about when We first met, and thanks me fo agreeing to meet Him....He so knows how to make me feel better.
Now i am going to let in on my big DUH moment...hopefully for a long time! I get out to my car, am clicking my keys and my car is not unlocking. My "unlock" button has been erratic, lately , but i have always been able to get it to work. I cannot get the door unlocked, not matter h ow fast or hard i click the thing. I go back to ask Master for help, He is on the phone so i go outside to continue clicking. Master comes out, and the clicking is not working for Him either. He looks at me with a big grin as i am getting upset, and takes th key and puts it in the key hole and unlocks the darn door....Oh "&*^%" i am thinking, how come i did not think of that! Using the key...who would have thunk?? Master thought it was hilarious, i ...well i was more than a little embarrassed.
abby, who will never forget about using the key again!
Master has helped me to understand that needing Him is a natural feeling. Nothing to be ashamed of, not a sign of weakness, just a part of "me". Asking for what i need, is hard for me. Master keeps telling me, just ask...yeah just. I don't know, maybe a part of me still feels like it is a weakness.
I started this week in a "funk". It was a tough weekend, dealing with family matters, and a few other concerns. I gained 1/2 pound yesterday, which Master was ok with...it put me right at my goal. I knew yesterday that i "needed" to see Master, but decided not to mention it. He has a full plate, and i just did not feel right asking.
Today, i knew i was on shaky gound. The first thing i thought of this morning, was i need maintenance. When i let Master know of my plans for the morning, i did not mention it. I called after i had been out to breakfast with friends, left a message saying i would try calling later. I did, and this time did not leave a message.
Master called me back and after some chatting, i mentioned that "m' word. He said, we could stick to Wednesdays, and i was silent. Or, He continued, we could meet today. Today would be good i quickly said, thinking i wonder if He was reading my mind again?
After the usual kneeling time, Master decided to change things a little. Maintenance has been over His knee with a small paddle for quite a while now. As i was waitng for Him to sit, so i could climb over His knee, He told me to bare my bottom and lean over the back of the sofa. I groaned, He smiled. One of my least favorite, and hardest to stay in positions. When i had walked in i had seen a piece of wooden molding by the sofa, so i moved it and put my coat over it.....just in case.
Master is looking for something, as i am getting ready. He asks if i saw a piece of molding, and did i move it. I sort of just give Him a smile. He leaves and quickly returns with a larger and much heavier piece of wood. Your choice He says, i quickly remember where that piece of molding "disappeared" to.
He gives me a hard whack with it, and it HURT. After the second one i start to stand, He reminds me to stay in place, i reply it really hurts. After the next one He says i am only going to give you 12. Knowing how many usually helps me to get through them. This time, i say, no way, not 12, they hurt. Master's reply is you don't like 12, ok we will go for 18, as He whacks me again. I quickly am telling Him how much i love the idea of 12, and please can the number be 12? Luckily, He agrees.
My ouching gets louder. Master remarks that maybe it is because there was no warm up. Hearing that, i have several answers swirling in my head, but i remember i am over the sofa, and He is holding wood, so i choose to stay quiet...a hard learned lesson.
Finally, He is done...and He tells me to stay in place while, He starts to get me to relax, before He gets me avey "unrelaxed", and asking for permissions. When we are done, He has us move to the sofa, where He tells me to lay across His lap and He will rub the sting away. It is relaxing, and comforting, and soon those darn tears are showing up. We talk about them a bit, and Master ecnourages me to talk about what i have been struggling with. I am not ready to do that, so Master starts talking about when We first met, and thanks me fo agreeing to meet Him....He so knows how to make me feel better.
Now i am going to let in on my big DUH moment...hopefully for a long time! I get out to my car, am clicking my keys and my car is not unlocking. My "unlock" button has been erratic, lately , but i have always been able to get it to work. I cannot get the door unlocked, not matter h ow fast or hard i click the thing. I go back to ask Master for help, He is on the phone so i go outside to continue clicking. Master comes out, and the clicking is not working for Him either. He looks at me with a big grin as i am getting upset, and takes th key and puts it in the key hole and unlocks the darn door....Oh "&*^%" i am thinking, how come i did not think of that! Using the key...who would have thunk?? Master thought it was hilarious, i ...well i was more than a little embarrassed.
abby, who will never forget about using the key again!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Reached my goal!!!!
Hurrah for me...when i weighed in this morning i was able to report to Master a loss...and i had (finally) reached my goal! I have lost 60 pounds, it has taken forever, but I DID IT!!!
I knew i had a good week this week. I was focused on all the right things, i stayed calmed, no voices egging me on, and just feeling good about "me".
I have more to lose, but i am going to try and maintain for a bit. I say try, but Master was strong in pointing out this afternoon, that He does not allow going backwards (gaining), if i want some wriggle room, i need to build some in. Also in the past, i have not done well with maintaining, i have a different mindset, and think, oh i can have a little ice cream, fast food, just once a week won't hurt.....etc...etc. So, wish me luck!
When i saw Master this afternoon, He was as pleased as i was. I have asked before to cut back to 1 weigh in a week, and always have been denied. So today i thought i would not ask, i would just just say, now i can return to 1 weigh in a week.....denied again! He said everything stays the same, when you are successful, you stay with the same things. So much for that bubble.
As always, we started with kneeling time. He was standing behind me and reached over to "maul" my breast. I flinched and groaned, He claimed i would miss it if He did not entertain "the girls". I doubt i am the one who would be missing it. Then it was over His lap for a quick spanking. I was very surprised when He told me to stand.
He then told me to sit on Him, facing forward. I hesitated trying to figure out what he was thinking, when He told me to SIT. He then had me spread my legs as far apart as i can. He reaches around me and starts at my breast and works His way down. He tells me to lean back and relax. I manage to lean back into Him, but relaxing when Master's fingers are working their magic? I was soon asking...begging ...for permission, which Master quickly grants, and then another.
Then i am truly relaxing, leaning back on Master feeling like we are totally connected. Master had surprised me with something new, and although i was hesistant at first, i loved the feeling of it. Maybe part of it is that i never considered myself small enough to sit on someone's lap and fit.
A good week, ending with a great Friday. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
abby
I knew i had a good week this week. I was focused on all the right things, i stayed calmed, no voices egging me on, and just feeling good about "me".
I have more to lose, but i am going to try and maintain for a bit. I say try, but Master was strong in pointing out this afternoon, that He does not allow going backwards (gaining), if i want some wriggle room, i need to build some in. Also in the past, i have not done well with maintaining, i have a different mindset, and think, oh i can have a little ice cream, fast food, just once a week won't hurt.....etc...etc. So, wish me luck!
When i saw Master this afternoon, He was as pleased as i was. I have asked before to cut back to 1 weigh in a week, and always have been denied. So today i thought i would not ask, i would just just say, now i can return to 1 weigh in a week.....denied again! He said everything stays the same, when you are successful, you stay with the same things. So much for that bubble.
As always, we started with kneeling time. He was standing behind me and reached over to "maul" my breast. I flinched and groaned, He claimed i would miss it if He did not entertain "the girls". I doubt i am the one who would be missing it. Then it was over His lap for a quick spanking. I was very surprised when He told me to stand.
He then told me to sit on Him, facing forward. I hesitated trying to figure out what he was thinking, when He told me to SIT. He then had me spread my legs as far apart as i can. He reaches around me and starts at my breast and works His way down. He tells me to lean back and relax. I manage to lean back into Him, but relaxing when Master's fingers are working their magic? I was soon asking...begging ...for permission, which Master quickly grants, and then another.
Then i am truly relaxing, leaning back on Master feeling like we are totally connected. Master had surprised me with something new, and although i was hesistant at first, i loved the feeling of it. Maybe part of it is that i never considered myself small enough to sit on someone's lap and fit.
A good week, ending with a great Friday. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
abby
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"Repercussion" ??
On Monday while i was over Master's lap, we had this discussion. He had used the word repercussion to mean a good result or consequence. I qestioned that and said i thought it only meant a bad outcome. We debated a bit, i said i would look it up and let Him know He was wrong...pretty brave in that position! Well, i looked it up in several places, and............
Master was right...go figure! It is merely a consequence of actions, altho most of the time the connotation is negative.
Also, after Master read my blog on Monday, i was informed that He used a cedar shake, not plank on my bottom. He said there is a big difference in size and He is not a brute!
Today was Maintenance day. After my kneeling time, we sat and talked over a coupe family issues i have coming up that will cause me to be away, and the worries that they entail. Then it was over His lap, my bottom was still tender from Monday, it did not take long before i was squirming and ouching. Master was using the compact, but thick wooden brush. Happily the spanking was short, and Master was soon soothing and rubbing, and "checking". It still amazed me how quickly He can get me from 0 to full speed ahead! After a couple permissions, He took pity on me and let me breathe and come back to calmness.
I told Master today, i don't tell Him enough, how thankful i am that He is in my life. When we met, i was hoping to find someone who might be willing to spank me once. I never thought He would take me on this magical, wonderful journey! He always says it is a 2 sided coin, and He is as lucky, i guess that makes us both lucky!
abby
Master was right...go figure! It is merely a consequence of actions, altho most of the time the connotation is negative.
Also, after Master read my blog on Monday, i was informed that He used a cedar shake, not plank on my bottom. He said there is a big difference in size and He is not a brute!
Today was Maintenance day. After my kneeling time, we sat and talked over a coupe family issues i have coming up that will cause me to be away, and the worries that they entail. Then it was over His lap, my bottom was still tender from Monday, it did not take long before i was squirming and ouching. Master was using the compact, but thick wooden brush. Happily the spanking was short, and Master was soon soothing and rubbing, and "checking". It still amazed me how quickly He can get me from 0 to full speed ahead! After a couple permissions, He took pity on me and let me breathe and come back to calmness.
I told Master today, i don't tell Him enough, how thankful i am that He is in my life. When we met, i was hoping to find someone who might be willing to spank me once. I never thought He would take me on this magical, wonderful journey! He always says it is a 2 sided coin, and He is as lucky, i guess that makes us both lucky!
abby
Monday, March 14, 2011
Mondays report...
Last Friday i reported a 1 pound loss, only 1/2 pound away from my goal. Master was as pleased as i was, and said He would see me later that day. I was sort of surprised since i had just had my maintenance spanking the day before. Later that day i got a call from a good friend i had not seen in a while, saying she had the "KACHIING" itch. Our code work for Casino time! One of my few (?) vices...gong to a casino. I have not been in months, and i was free, except for Master. So i text Him, and He said come right over and then you may go. It was a quick visit, He wanted to be sure i stayed focused over the weekend, and there was a quick hand spanking. He asked about my limit for losing, i hemmed and hawed...i hate having a pre arranged limit. But we agreed on a number, and i went to meet my friend. Yes i did lose to my limit, but we had a great time, and it was wonderful to see my friend again. Master text me early Saturday morning, to see if i was treating for lunch...lol..no luck!
Today my weigh in was plus 1/2. I figured it was only 1/2 pound and over the weekend so no problem. I text Master, adding i will be extra good this week. His reply...you will be sore this week. When i read His reply i immediately got pouty, it was the weekend, and only !/2 pound, He is being mean. I sort of spouted to myself all morning, and when we talked, He just said, it was not what He expects and He would see me this afternoon.
Going into a spanking, especially a possible punishment one, with resentment and attitude is not a good thing. It has happened, and it just prolongs the spanking, until i let it all go. So i kept telling myself, let it go, He is in charge, you know He gives very little wriggle room, and it is because of Him that you are close to having lost 60 pounds!
When i got to Master, i was not pouting, but i was quiet. He asked several times what was wrong, i kept saying nothing. You are too quiet, quiet is not good, He said. I finally said i was upset that i had dissapointed Him. After some kneeling time, i was over His lap. We were chatting, discussing the meaning of a word that we disagreed on. I said i would look it up and let Him know i was right. He chuckled, and soon i was laughing and smiling, as He said, you were pretty determined not to laugh or smile when you walked in here. He was right, He had succeeded in dispelling most of my "bad mood". He also told me this was not punishment, He was not upset with me, maybe He just wanted an excuse to spank me. I looked at Him...You need an excuse?
He kindly started with a hand warm-up, and slowly peeled off my layers of clothing. He had a cedar plank that He was going to use. (I did not know what it was until i asked Master). It was thin and light, but very stingy. After a few sets, Master asked how long it took me to lose my limit. He then gave me a fast volley on one cheek. When He was done i said, that was 1/2 my limit right? He said Yup, and the other cheek gets the last half. They were fast, take your breath away swats.
I assumed he was finished. When i started to move, He informed me He was not done, my cheeks were barely pink. I guess i will start having to put make up on all my cheeks! He pulled me in close to Him, and finished with a long hard flurry. That cedar plank went into the recycle bin, but i would not mind feeling it again...much nicer than most of Master's wood toys.
On the way out, Master said, You were right. I don't need a reason to spank you, just an itchy palm.
I felt much better when i got home, you have to love someone who can make you smile and laugh, when you think that is the last thing you want to do.
abby
Today my weigh in was plus 1/2. I figured it was only 1/2 pound and over the weekend so no problem. I text Master, adding i will be extra good this week. His reply...you will be sore this week. When i read His reply i immediately got pouty, it was the weekend, and only !/2 pound, He is being mean. I sort of spouted to myself all morning, and when we talked, He just said, it was not what He expects and He would see me this afternoon.
Going into a spanking, especially a possible punishment one, with resentment and attitude is not a good thing. It has happened, and it just prolongs the spanking, until i let it all go. So i kept telling myself, let it go, He is in charge, you know He gives very little wriggle room, and it is because of Him that you are close to having lost 60 pounds!
When i got to Master, i was not pouting, but i was quiet. He asked several times what was wrong, i kept saying nothing. You are too quiet, quiet is not good, He said. I finally said i was upset that i had dissapointed Him. After some kneeling time, i was over His lap. We were chatting, discussing the meaning of a word that we disagreed on. I said i would look it up and let Him know i was right. He chuckled, and soon i was laughing and smiling, as He said, you were pretty determined not to laugh or smile when you walked in here. He was right, He had succeeded in dispelling most of my "bad mood". He also told me this was not punishment, He was not upset with me, maybe He just wanted an excuse to spank me. I looked at Him...You need an excuse?
He kindly started with a hand warm-up, and slowly peeled off my layers of clothing. He had a cedar plank that He was going to use. (I did not know what it was until i asked Master). It was thin and light, but very stingy. After a few sets, Master asked how long it took me to lose my limit. He then gave me a fast volley on one cheek. When He was done i said, that was 1/2 my limit right? He said Yup, and the other cheek gets the last half. They were fast, take your breath away swats.
I assumed he was finished. When i started to move, He informed me He was not done, my cheeks were barely pink. I guess i will start having to put make up on all my cheeks! He pulled me in close to Him, and finished with a long hard flurry. That cedar plank went into the recycle bin, but i would not mind feeling it again...much nicer than most of Master's wood toys.
On the way out, Master said, You were right. I don't need a reason to spank you, just an itchy palm.
I felt much better when i got home, you have to love someone who can make you smile and laugh, when you think that is the last thing you want to do.
abby
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I give you enough rope to......
Master will occasionally say to me, i give you enough rope and watch. He says this when i have been pushing the rules a bit, when i start to think i have control or can make certain decisions on my own, or when i am just being a "little" pushy. Doesn't sound like me at all, does it? It used to be, that the outcome of all that rope, was not a hanging, but a very unhappy Master, which of course translates into an unhappy me. This time, i realized what was happening in time to prevent "the hanging".
For some reason i have not had a good week. The worse part was i could not figure out why i was feeling unconnected or out of sorts, just not right. Things have been going well with Master, last Friday was awesome, i just could not figure it out. Maybe some kind of "sub drop", maybe worry over my daughter's pregnancy, maybe just me being crazy.
Today was Thursday and i had not brought up the word "maintenance" yet this week. It is one of my tasks that i am to check our schedules, and make it happen. I kept waiting, hoping i would magically get rid of my uneasy feelings, trying to find a way to deal with them myself. No, i did not mention them to Master. This morning i knew my week was running out, and i was not being successful in "fixing myself". So, i asked Master about maintenance and mentioned my feelings. He said He would see me during His lunch time.
After our hugs, Master started by saying, you know I was giving you enough rope.....I know i said, i just felt i should not be feeling the way i was. He reminds me that feelings are feelings, not right or wrong, they are my feelings. I told Him i was trying to deal with them myself, He gave me a look, and asked how well that was working for me.
Then it was over His knee, starting with a hand spanking, over clothing, progressing to a paddle on my bare bottom. This was a different paddle, smaller, but much heavier, lots more thud. He started slowly and built up in tempo and force. I was trying very hard to stay still, not kick up my legs, not try to get away, to keep breathing, and stay in place. Master even commented on the fact that i was trying very hard to be good. Then , He is stretching my skin, reaching for that spot between my bottom and my thighs, that tender spot, that reminds me, much later that i have been spanked. He slows down the pace, way slow, but increases the force, and i get 10 on each side. By the end, i am ouching out loud, but staying in place. Master finishes by reminding me He is here for me, and not to wait so long again to ask for His help....or to schedule my maintenance.
Then His fingers are roaming, and i am soon moaning. He is talking to me, and i am responding, but to be honest i cannot recall the conversation. I finally hear Him tell me to cum for Him, and i do...again and again. I say, no more...and He chuckles and continues, til He has found few more for me. I am laying spent over His lap, relaxed, at ease, submissive, calm, and thankful.
He then tells me to kneel between His legs. He reaches for my breasts, can't leave these out...i groan, but know He will do as He wishes. Finally He tells me to put my head on His chest, i reach my arms out to hug Him and He tells me to put them behind me. I am to fall into Him, giving up control. The lesson is not loss on me. After a bit, i get to hug Him, we chat a little, and Master has to return to work.
I spend my afternoon shopping, relaxed, knowing that i am not in control, that "me" is back, and i am thankful.
Have a great weekend everyone!
abby
For some reason i have not had a good week. The worse part was i could not figure out why i was feeling unconnected or out of sorts, just not right. Things have been going well with Master, last Friday was awesome, i just could not figure it out. Maybe some kind of "sub drop", maybe worry over my daughter's pregnancy, maybe just me being crazy.
Today was Thursday and i had not brought up the word "maintenance" yet this week. It is one of my tasks that i am to check our schedules, and make it happen. I kept waiting, hoping i would magically get rid of my uneasy feelings, trying to find a way to deal with them myself. No, i did not mention them to Master. This morning i knew my week was running out, and i was not being successful in "fixing myself". So, i asked Master about maintenance and mentioned my feelings. He said He would see me during His lunch time.
After our hugs, Master started by saying, you know I was giving you enough rope.....I know i said, i just felt i should not be feeling the way i was. He reminds me that feelings are feelings, not right or wrong, they are my feelings. I told Him i was trying to deal with them myself, He gave me a look, and asked how well that was working for me.
Then it was over His knee, starting with a hand spanking, over clothing, progressing to a paddle on my bare bottom. This was a different paddle, smaller, but much heavier, lots more thud. He started slowly and built up in tempo and force. I was trying very hard to stay still, not kick up my legs, not try to get away, to keep breathing, and stay in place. Master even commented on the fact that i was trying very hard to be good. Then , He is stretching my skin, reaching for that spot between my bottom and my thighs, that tender spot, that reminds me, much later that i have been spanked. He slows down the pace, way slow, but increases the force, and i get 10 on each side. By the end, i am ouching out loud, but staying in place. Master finishes by reminding me He is here for me, and not to wait so long again to ask for His help....or to schedule my maintenance.
Then His fingers are roaming, and i am soon moaning. He is talking to me, and i am responding, but to be honest i cannot recall the conversation. I finally hear Him tell me to cum for Him, and i do...again and again. I say, no more...and He chuckles and continues, til He has found few more for me. I am laying spent over His lap, relaxed, at ease, submissive, calm, and thankful.
He then tells me to kneel between His legs. He reaches for my breasts, can't leave these out...i groan, but know He will do as He wishes. Finally He tells me to put my head on His chest, i reach my arms out to hug Him and He tells me to put them behind me. I am to fall into Him, giving up control. The lesson is not loss on me. After a bit, i get to hug Him, we chat a little, and Master has to return to work.
I spend my afternoon shopping, relaxed, knowing that i am not in control, that "me" is back, and i am thankful.
Have a great weekend everyone!
abby
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday's report on Tuesday
Good morning all! I am soooooo ready for spring, please NO MORE snow!!!!
I was a little worried about my weigh in yesterday. One of my granddaughters sent me chocolate covered chocolate chip cookies, my sister sent me chocolate covered fruit, and my daughter made me a chocolate mocha cake, served with coffee chocolate chunk ice cream! Most of it is still here, I am bringing the cookies to my book club today!
I was very excited to be able to report to Master that i had stayed the same. Hopefully i can manage to continue to resist the temptation, or figure someway to get the rest of it out of the house. I love the chocolate covered orange slices, so i am allowing myself 2 of those a day.
Have a good week, everyone!
abby
I was a little worried about my weigh in yesterday. One of my granddaughters sent me chocolate covered chocolate chip cookies, my sister sent me chocolate covered fruit, and my daughter made me a chocolate mocha cake, served with coffee chocolate chunk ice cream! Most of it is still here, I am bringing the cookies to my book club today!
I was very excited to be able to report to Master that i had stayed the same. Hopefully i can manage to continue to resist the temptation, or figure someway to get the rest of it out of the house. I love the chocolate covered orange slices, so i am allowing myself 2 of those a day.
Have a good week, everyone!
abby
Friday, March 4, 2011
A leatherlicious birthday!
Today is my birthday. I know what you are all wondering....and i will only admit to...over 50! I had a great day, the first thing i saw when i woke up was a birthday message from Master. My almost 3 year old grand daughter sang her greeting to me, and the 18 month old put together Happy birthday Grandma....that must have taken a lot of coaching. I heard from friends and my mom and sister, and my daughter took me out to dinner.
The best part of today was this afternoon. I have been spanked more this past year than any other. Many of them are fairly quick events, and it has been a while since Master and i both had the time to just take an afternoon and play, snuggle, and enjoy each other. Master text me this morning to say this afternoon was our time.
Master has a lovely set of wrist and ankle cuffs...leather on the outside, and a soft wooly lining! As soon as He puts them on me, my whole head space screams submissive. He put them on me this afternoon, as i was kneeling for Him. After He had reclaimed all of me....paying special attention to my breasts, it was play time! First order of business is an OTK hand birthday spanking. I get as many as my age..and one to grow on. That will be the standard for every "toy" that He uses today.
I get on the bed, on my tummy, arms and legs spread wide, the way Master positions them. He starts me off with a wonderful massage, rubbing and kneading and pushing every single knot and all the tension out. He has such wonderful hands, that are very talented! Master starts the session with the large leather flogger. My absolute favorite spanking toy!
He drags the leather strips up and down my legs, back, arms, all of me. It is the best feeling. Then, He uses the flogger on my back, one stroke for each year of life. The strokes are medium strength, and i am so turning to jello.
Then i feel the sting of Master's single tail whip. He claims to like all of His toys equally, but i think this is His favorite. It is leather, but definately leather with a big sting to it. It always takes me by surpise, and wakens all my senses. My back feels like it is very hot and stingy when He finishes, and He takes the time to rub out some of the sting.
I am actually a little fuzzy as to what comes next. I think it was a paddle that warmed up my bottom to match my back. Then it is the crop, it reaches many places, and i love the feel of it. Then Master says...sunny side up...time for me to roll over on my back. I always hesitate. Being on my tummy allows me to feel somewhat hidden, i guess, on my back, i feel much more open and vulnerable. I have learned to take a deep breath and turn over.
The flogger and the whip are repeated, i find it more difficult to relax, and keep reminding myself to breathe. When He is done Master uses His hand to pull, tug, and pinch my breast. I start to move my hands, but He reminds me to stay in position. After each of the toys, He "checks" to see if i am enjoying myself, after each check He chuckles and says "yup".
He also uses His hand to spank my pussy, which i know i react positively to.
Back on my back, and the flogger makes another appearance, this time Master uses it with much more force. Then Master is sitting on the bed, next to me, using the cane close up. I ouch a little and He says its my fault for having so many birthdays! The large leather strop is next, i think, and i am once again melting at the feel of the leather.
Back on my back, Master's fingers are roaming and teasing. He decides to fill me with His hand, a mixture of pain , then pleasure. He is patient and consistent, and i do my best to stay relaxed. I feel Him filling me, owning me, being a part of me. I hear Him telling me to cum for Him, and i obey, not sure how many times. He withdraws his hand and stimulates me with His fingers, making me cum until the tears are falling, and i am once again crying. The walls have fallen, the layers stripped away, and he is there to reassure me.
He crawls in to me, telling me to find my "safe" place....burried into his furry, fuzzsy chest, i go to Him and nuzzle into His chest, and we both just relax and enjoy being in the moment. Eventually we chat about our time together. I tell Him, He has taken me to places i never thought i would get to, and some places i never even imagined. How lucky i am....and He reminds me, as He always does, that He is also lucky. I have worked hard to become open to Him, to not let the layers and walls that i built separate us, to destroy them, to let go and let Him in.
After some more quiet time, Master says it is time for my last spanking. He tells me to get up, hands on the bed, bottom up and out. I am puzzled, but i do. Then i feel the distinct coolness of a fairly large paddle. I don't say anything but get myself ready. He lands the first smack and it HURTS! I say a loud ouch, but stay in position. Then Master says, that was your one to grow on, we are done, as He is laughing. I am not sure if i should hug or hit Him, but the hug wins out.
It was a wonderful way to spend my birthday afternoon. Having more birthdays, is not necessarily all about getting older!
abby
The best part of today was this afternoon. I have been spanked more this past year than any other. Many of them are fairly quick events, and it has been a while since Master and i both had the time to just take an afternoon and play, snuggle, and enjoy each other. Master text me this morning to say this afternoon was our time.
Master has a lovely set of wrist and ankle cuffs...leather on the outside, and a soft wooly lining! As soon as He puts them on me, my whole head space screams submissive. He put them on me this afternoon, as i was kneeling for Him. After He had reclaimed all of me....paying special attention to my breasts, it was play time! First order of business is an OTK hand birthday spanking. I get as many as my age..and one to grow on. That will be the standard for every "toy" that He uses today.
I get on the bed, on my tummy, arms and legs spread wide, the way Master positions them. He starts me off with a wonderful massage, rubbing and kneading and pushing every single knot and all the tension out. He has such wonderful hands, that are very talented! Master starts the session with the large leather flogger. My absolute favorite spanking toy!
He drags the leather strips up and down my legs, back, arms, all of me. It is the best feeling. Then, He uses the flogger on my back, one stroke for each year of life. The strokes are medium strength, and i am so turning to jello.
Then i feel the sting of Master's single tail whip. He claims to like all of His toys equally, but i think this is His favorite. It is leather, but definately leather with a big sting to it. It always takes me by surpise, and wakens all my senses. My back feels like it is very hot and stingy when He finishes, and He takes the time to rub out some of the sting.
I am actually a little fuzzy as to what comes next. I think it was a paddle that warmed up my bottom to match my back. Then it is the crop, it reaches many places, and i love the feel of it. Then Master says...sunny side up...time for me to roll over on my back. I always hesitate. Being on my tummy allows me to feel somewhat hidden, i guess, on my back, i feel much more open and vulnerable. I have learned to take a deep breath and turn over.
The flogger and the whip are repeated, i find it more difficult to relax, and keep reminding myself to breathe. When He is done Master uses His hand to pull, tug, and pinch my breast. I start to move my hands, but He reminds me to stay in position. After each of the toys, He "checks" to see if i am enjoying myself, after each check He chuckles and says "yup".
He also uses His hand to spank my pussy, which i know i react positively to.
Back on my back, and the flogger makes another appearance, this time Master uses it with much more force. Then Master is sitting on the bed, next to me, using the cane close up. I ouch a little and He says its my fault for having so many birthdays! The large leather strop is next, i think, and i am once again melting at the feel of the leather.
Back on my back, Master's fingers are roaming and teasing. He decides to fill me with His hand, a mixture of pain , then pleasure. He is patient and consistent, and i do my best to stay relaxed. I feel Him filling me, owning me, being a part of me. I hear Him telling me to cum for Him, and i obey, not sure how many times. He withdraws his hand and stimulates me with His fingers, making me cum until the tears are falling, and i am once again crying. The walls have fallen, the layers stripped away, and he is there to reassure me.
He crawls in to me, telling me to find my "safe" place....burried into his furry, fuzzsy chest, i go to Him and nuzzle into His chest, and we both just relax and enjoy being in the moment. Eventually we chat about our time together. I tell Him, He has taken me to places i never thought i would get to, and some places i never even imagined. How lucky i am....and He reminds me, as He always does, that He is also lucky. I have worked hard to become open to Him, to not let the layers and walls that i built separate us, to destroy them, to let go and let Him in.
After some more quiet time, Master says it is time for my last spanking. He tells me to get up, hands on the bed, bottom up and out. I am puzzled, but i do. Then i feel the distinct coolness of a fairly large paddle. I don't say anything but get myself ready. He lands the first smack and it HURTS! I say a loud ouch, but stay in position. Then Master says, that was your one to grow on, we are done, as He is laughing. I am not sure if i should hug or hit Him, but the hug wins out.
It was a wonderful way to spend my birthday afternoon. Having more birthdays, is not necessarily all about getting older!
abby
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wednesday's maintenance spanking
I went to Master early this afternoon for my weekly maintenance spanking.
I have come to regard maintenance as a glue that keeps our bond strong...and strengthens it when it starts to weaken. Yes, i get spanked, and Master believes maintenance needs to hurt to be effective, but we also get get a chance to talk things out, face to face, or sometimes bottom to face! It is a time of reconnection and of closeness.
As always, we start with me kneeling before Him as He claims my body. Lately He has been focusing on reclaiming my breast, which causes me to really focus on submitting. He pulls me into Him, so my face is smushed against His stomach, breathing in His scent. I am breathing deeply, becoming calm and focused.
Then it is over His knee, for the spanking part. He starts with His hand, for a short warm-up. Too soon, He is reaching for the bath brush. He starts off fairly slowly, but it quickly gets painful, more quickly than i expect. Maybe it is because i was just spanked on Monday. My legs start to kick up, and i get a warning that my thighs could be the target and i quiet my legs.
Master asks why we have maintenance, and i tell Him, to keep me on track, to remind me of my submissiveness, to keep from Him having to punish me.
The spanking is over fairly quickly, as Master's fingers start to roam. He likes to check to see if, at least part of me, is enjoying this. Of course He claims to find that evidence, and soon i am too busy asking for a permission to dispute that fact. After getting to the begging stage, i am granted a few permissions. We then quietly talk, as He rubs and massages and helps me to a safe "landing".
As i was sitting here earlier, thinking about this afternoon, all i could think of is how lucky i am. A Master who provides what i need, who takes care of me, who pushes me to be better, who has turned my life around, who has opened me to so many new ideas and sensations...
Thank You Master!
abby
I have come to regard maintenance as a glue that keeps our bond strong...and strengthens it when it starts to weaken. Yes, i get spanked, and Master believes maintenance needs to hurt to be effective, but we also get get a chance to talk things out, face to face, or sometimes bottom to face! It is a time of reconnection and of closeness.
As always, we start with me kneeling before Him as He claims my body. Lately He has been focusing on reclaiming my breast, which causes me to really focus on submitting. He pulls me into Him, so my face is smushed against His stomach, breathing in His scent. I am breathing deeply, becoming calm and focused.
Then it is over His knee, for the spanking part. He starts with His hand, for a short warm-up. Too soon, He is reaching for the bath brush. He starts off fairly slowly, but it quickly gets painful, more quickly than i expect. Maybe it is because i was just spanked on Monday. My legs start to kick up, and i get a warning that my thighs could be the target and i quiet my legs.
Master asks why we have maintenance, and i tell Him, to keep me on track, to remind me of my submissiveness, to keep from Him having to punish me.
The spanking is over fairly quickly, as Master's fingers start to roam. He likes to check to see if, at least part of me, is enjoying this. Of course He claims to find that evidence, and soon i am too busy asking for a permission to dispute that fact. After getting to the begging stage, i am granted a few permissions. We then quietly talk, as He rubs and massages and helps me to a safe "landing".
As i was sitting here earlier, thinking about this afternoon, all i could think of is how lucky i am. A Master who provides what i need, who takes care of me, who pushes me to be better, who has turned my life around, who has opened me to so many new ideas and sensations...
Thank You Master!
abby
Monday, February 28, 2011
Mondays report
Master and i are finally both back in town. My week with my granddaughter was lots of fun. She is bright, funny, caring, and entertaining...no i am not a biased grandma! But i am happy to be back, to be "me" again.
I weighed in this morning....plus 1 and 1/2 pounds. I was not surprised, but i hated to report to Master. For a second i thought...He would never know if.....but that was really not an option. So i gave Him my report, and He replied..we won't let this ruin your homecoming. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.
This afternoon we started off with hugs and some catching up talk. Master then went to get some "toys" and told me to kneel. So i did. He walked back in , looked at me, and said, "You are not naked?" I looked up and said i did not hear that...i really had not. I quickly got up, got naked and knelt back down. Master was re-claiming all of me, rubbing and massaging all of me, and i was slowly breathing Him in, relaxing, finding "me", and feeling like i had come back home. Then He starts in on my nipples. Stretching, pulling, tugging, smushing....pinching, and not letting go, reminding me to keep my hands behind me. I am starting to squirm, and He is pinching harder, finally he says, count to 5 loudly. I count loudly and very quickly. He looks and says too fast..and does not let go.... so i start again, just as loud, but much more slowly. He finally lets go of the nipples, and has me get up.
I go over His knee, for a wonderful long hand spanking. I am really back, it has been too long. Master's hand is all over my bottom, the spanks are quick and hard. His hand travels to my thighs, those spanks are not as hard, but are a reminder that He will spank me there, and i will feel it more.
His fingers then start to roam, to see if i am "enjoying" my spanking...and yes, of course i am. It takes less than 2 mimutes for Him to get me groaning and squirming, He is reminding me i need permission, and i still have the rest of my spanking to go before i get a permission.
He withdraws his fingers, and reaches for the bath brush. I tense a little, and He uses the bristle side all over. I instantly relax again. He says that this is not a Punishment, but a reminder that He is not pleased with the fact that i gained. He is fairly lightly spanking me, and He asks how far i am from my goal. I tell Him 2 and 1/2 pounds. He starts another round with the brush, this one harder and longer. When He is done He asks if i was expecting a basement trip, i honestly say no. I was expecting some type of punishment, but not all punishment. He says that round was for 1 pound, now for the second pound. I say i had only gained 1 1/2, He says but i am 2 1/2 away from my goal. This round is equally hard and long. Then a little more rubbing with the bristle side, til He starts in again for payment for the last 1/2 pound. This round is much harder, and i am ouching loudly by the end. Finally...it is the end.
Master's fingers are quickly picking up where they left off. I am still amazed at how quickly he can get me from 0 to full speed and asking for permissions. After my second permission, He reminds me that i am not using my manners and should be saying please and thank you...i can hardly breathe, but i manage to be polite. After my third permission, Master says to save one for tonight. I lay over His lap for a while, he is gently rubbing my bottom and i am coming back to earth, and so relaxed.
We end with more kneeling time, this time with my head on Master's lap, while we chat. He reminds me to start up my daily reports, and that i need to ask for permission before making plans to go away and be specific about how long and where i will be, and that 2 weeks is too long. It is too long, and hopefully those long trips will be at a minimum this year.
Master then says that He wants to schedul maintenance for Wednesday, since He wants to save Friday. (Friday is my birthday!)
I am back where i belong, i am breathing freely, my "voices" have been banished, my Master has worked His magic...Thank You Master!
abby
I weighed in this morning....plus 1 and 1/2 pounds. I was not surprised, but i hated to report to Master. For a second i thought...He would never know if.....but that was really not an option. So i gave Him my report, and He replied..we won't let this ruin your homecoming. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.
This afternoon we started off with hugs and some catching up talk. Master then went to get some "toys" and told me to kneel. So i did. He walked back in , looked at me, and said, "You are not naked?" I looked up and said i did not hear that...i really had not. I quickly got up, got naked and knelt back down. Master was re-claiming all of me, rubbing and massaging all of me, and i was slowly breathing Him in, relaxing, finding "me", and feeling like i had come back home. Then He starts in on my nipples. Stretching, pulling, tugging, smushing....pinching, and not letting go, reminding me to keep my hands behind me. I am starting to squirm, and He is pinching harder, finally he says, count to 5 loudly. I count loudly and very quickly. He looks and says too fast..and does not let go.... so i start again, just as loud, but much more slowly. He finally lets go of the nipples, and has me get up.
I go over His knee, for a wonderful long hand spanking. I am really back, it has been too long. Master's hand is all over my bottom, the spanks are quick and hard. His hand travels to my thighs, those spanks are not as hard, but are a reminder that He will spank me there, and i will feel it more.
His fingers then start to roam, to see if i am "enjoying" my spanking...and yes, of course i am. It takes less than 2 mimutes for Him to get me groaning and squirming, He is reminding me i need permission, and i still have the rest of my spanking to go before i get a permission.
He withdraws his fingers, and reaches for the bath brush. I tense a little, and He uses the bristle side all over. I instantly relax again. He says that this is not a Punishment, but a reminder that He is not pleased with the fact that i gained. He is fairly lightly spanking me, and He asks how far i am from my goal. I tell Him 2 and 1/2 pounds. He starts another round with the brush, this one harder and longer. When He is done He asks if i was expecting a basement trip, i honestly say no. I was expecting some type of punishment, but not all punishment. He says that round was for 1 pound, now for the second pound. I say i had only gained 1 1/2, He says but i am 2 1/2 away from my goal. This round is equally hard and long. Then a little more rubbing with the bristle side, til He starts in again for payment for the last 1/2 pound. This round is much harder, and i am ouching loudly by the end. Finally...it is the end.
Master's fingers are quickly picking up where they left off. I am still amazed at how quickly he can get me from 0 to full speed and asking for permissions. After my second permission, He reminds me that i am not using my manners and should be saying please and thank you...i can hardly breathe, but i manage to be polite. After my third permission, Master says to save one for tonight. I lay over His lap for a while, he is gently rubbing my bottom and i am coming back to earth, and so relaxed.
We end with more kneeling time, this time with my head on Master's lap, while we chat. He reminds me to start up my daily reports, and that i need to ask for permission before making plans to go away and be specific about how long and where i will be, and that 2 weeks is too long. It is too long, and hopefully those long trips will be at a minimum this year.
Master then says that He wants to schedul maintenance for Wednesday, since He wants to save Friday. (Friday is my birthday!)
I am back where i belong, i am breathing freely, my "voices" have been banished, my Master has worked His magic...Thank You Master!
abby
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
a "grandma" report
There was no Monday report this week, since there was no weigh in.
I am in NJ babysitting...um..playing with my almost 3 year old granddaughter.
On Sunday we went in to NYC, had lunch at a family style Italian restaurant...it was fabulous! We saw "Billy elliot"...fabulous again. It was a delightful adult day!
My granddaughter and i have been spending our days completing craft projects, playing games, being silly and baking. She loves the cooking part, has me read the recipes, and calls herself my assissitant chef. Today we made snaky hot dogs for lunch,,,a real hit. Then for an afternoon snack frozen chocolate sprinkled bananas...she was in charge of the sprinkles...only took me about an hour to clean her and the kitchen! But she could not wait to tell mom and dad about her day with grandma!
Hope you are having 1/2 as much fun as i am this week...
abby
I am in NJ babysitting...um..playing with my almost 3 year old granddaughter.
On Sunday we went in to NYC, had lunch at a family style Italian restaurant...it was fabulous! We saw "Billy elliot"...fabulous again. It was a delightful adult day!
My granddaughter and i have been spending our days completing craft projects, playing games, being silly and baking. She loves the cooking part, has me read the recipes, and calls herself my assissitant chef. Today we made snaky hot dogs for lunch,,,a real hit. Then for an afternoon snack frozen chocolate sprinkled bananas...she was in charge of the sprinkles...only took me about an hour to clean her and the kitchen! But she could not wait to tell mom and dad about her day with grandma!
Hope you are having 1/2 as much fun as i am this week...
abby
Friday, February 18, 2011
TGIF
It's been a draggy kind of week. When Master is away the days seem longer. I always start by telling myself i won't miss Him as much this time...and it seems i miss Him more.
On the bright said, giving the whoopie pies a new home was a great idea. I weighed in this morning and loss the pound and a half i had gained on Monday! So i am back to 1 pound away from my goal!
Problem is, i am leaveing early tomorrow morning (yes before Master returns), for NJ to spend some time with my almost 3...going on at least 12...year old grand daughter. She is one of those innately funny little ones, who constantly surprises you. She cannot wait to see what "grandma" has planned for our cooking time each day! (alphabet bread sticks, silly snake dogs, bunny pancakes, crackerpillars are a few of the goodies!)
On Sunday my daughter and son in law are taking me to NYC for lunch and a show...an early birthday gift! I love musicals, so i am really looking forward to it.
Be good all....well not necessarily good....lol
hugs, abby
On the bright said, giving the whoopie pies a new home was a great idea. I weighed in this morning and loss the pound and a half i had gained on Monday! So i am back to 1 pound away from my goal!
Problem is, i am leaveing early tomorrow morning (yes before Master returns), for NJ to spend some time with my almost 3...going on at least 12...year old grand daughter. She is one of those innately funny little ones, who constantly surprises you. She cannot wait to see what "grandma" has planned for our cooking time each day! (alphabet bread sticks, silly snake dogs, bunny pancakes, crackerpillars are a few of the goodies!)
On Sunday my daughter and son in law are taking me to NYC for lunch and a show...an early birthday gift! I love musicals, so i am really looking forward to it.
Be good all....well not necessarily good....lol
hugs, abby
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Rules and Expectations
There are lots of reasons i am glad i discovered blogs. One of them is how interesting it is to read how others structure their relationships. I know that each of us has to find our own way, and we have our unique way of exercising this power exchange. I often find myself thinking, wow, i could never ...or hmmm..maybe i should try hinting to Master. Since Master is away and i am a little bored, i thought i would share with all of you my rules and expectations, and how they came to be. I have been thinking about this all day, a little worried that i might forget one..or two...and Master would find a way to remind me...but here goes.
I have rules and expectations. Once in a while Master will say...don't make Me make that a rule. Early on, i would think what's the difference. The difference is a rule is more like enforced submission, an expectation is freely given. Broken rules mean punishment, unmet expectations bring about disappointment...for both of us.
My rules have developed over time. I am going to try to give them in chronological order.
1. Master gets an emailed report every night. This was a rule even before we started with D/s. He was helping me to exercise and lose weight for my daughter's wedding. My report was really simply a food journal that i mailed to Him, nightly. I still send Him that food journal, but i now add any news or parts of my day we have no discussed, how much time on the wii, if i have taken my meds, and what task i have done for Him. Not sending one occasionally is not a big deal, missing 2 in a row is a big deal. I also have to report my weigh-in. We started with once a week, it is now twice, Mondays and Fridays. I keep asking to go back to once, but looks like that will not happen.
2. When we moved to M/s the first rule was: no cumming without persmission. If i was on my own, or with Him. I have not been punished for breaking this rule in quite a while. I learned quickly that this was an important one for Him, always Punishable. I also quickly learned that saying "no thanks" when He text me to cum, was positively not a good idea!
3. "Queen of Sarcasm" was a nicknamed i earned in many circles. It was a good survival tool in my junior high classroom. Respect and NO sarcasm allowed was also one of my first rules. I will admit it took me a while to learn that saying some things just in your head is a great strategy. I still occasionally struggle with attitude, i don't view that as a matter of disrespect, Master disagrees.
4. I am to keep myself "clean shaven". Master shaved me the first time, i was so embarrassed, but it was also so sexy! I wish He would do it again. The only time that i run into a problem with this one is when i am away for over a week. I tend to let it go, recently Master has surprised me be starting to ask for pictures.
5. A rule that Master started about a year and a half ago is that i have to ask for permission before i drive any place. If i want to walk, i can go, otherwise, i ask. This rule started when i got into trouble for deciding that since i did not think that Master was interested, i did not need to continue with certain rules. He was not pleased, go figure! So this rule resulted, He explained we would be in touch more during the day, and i would be reminded that i am not in charge. It sounds more restrictive than it is, actually. I just about never get a no, and He is very good at quickly replying to my texts. Yes i have to ask even if i am away, or if i have company here.
An expectation was added to this rule, when Master thought i was taking advantage of a possible loop hole. I would ask for permission for as many places as i wanted to go to, and if i did not get to all of them, i figured i had permission for the next day...or whenever. Master noticed, so i now also text Him if i do not get to all the places i asked permission for. Also, no blanket....can i go run errands...i need to be specific. This rule/expectation really does remind me very day that i am not in charge.
6. An expectation is that i text Him a good night message every night. This started when i was struggling with something and Master would text me before bed, to sleep well or to "tuck me in". I liked ending my day that way, so it is now an expectation that i text Him before bed.
7. Master expects me to set up a time for maintenace spankings that occur once a week. Maintenance spankings started almost a year ago, when i emailed Master about feelings of "neediness" and my "voices". His answer was maintenance. To be honest, i was not sure how long it would last, but i should learn to not doubt. Every week that we are both in town, there is maintenance, even if there has been a punishment or reward or just some fun times. I am to set it up, as a way of getting better at asking for what i need. I am not sure that is happening, but setting up maintenance is getting easier for me.
I think i have covered everything....hmmm i hope so!
abby
I have rules and expectations. Once in a while Master will say...don't make Me make that a rule. Early on, i would think what's the difference. The difference is a rule is more like enforced submission, an expectation is freely given. Broken rules mean punishment, unmet expectations bring about disappointment...for both of us.
My rules have developed over time. I am going to try to give them in chronological order.
1. Master gets an emailed report every night. This was a rule even before we started with D/s. He was helping me to exercise and lose weight for my daughter's wedding. My report was really simply a food journal that i mailed to Him, nightly. I still send Him that food journal, but i now add any news or parts of my day we have no discussed, how much time on the wii, if i have taken my meds, and what task i have done for Him. Not sending one occasionally is not a big deal, missing 2 in a row is a big deal. I also have to report my weigh-in. We started with once a week, it is now twice, Mondays and Fridays. I keep asking to go back to once, but looks like that will not happen.
2. When we moved to M/s the first rule was: no cumming without persmission. If i was on my own, or with Him. I have not been punished for breaking this rule in quite a while. I learned quickly that this was an important one for Him, always Punishable. I also quickly learned that saying "no thanks" when He text me to cum, was positively not a good idea!
3. "Queen of Sarcasm" was a nicknamed i earned in many circles. It was a good survival tool in my junior high classroom. Respect and NO sarcasm allowed was also one of my first rules. I will admit it took me a while to learn that saying some things just in your head is a great strategy. I still occasionally struggle with attitude, i don't view that as a matter of disrespect, Master disagrees.
4. I am to keep myself "clean shaven". Master shaved me the first time, i was so embarrassed, but it was also so sexy! I wish He would do it again. The only time that i run into a problem with this one is when i am away for over a week. I tend to let it go, recently Master has surprised me be starting to ask for pictures.
5. A rule that Master started about a year and a half ago is that i have to ask for permission before i drive any place. If i want to walk, i can go, otherwise, i ask. This rule started when i got into trouble for deciding that since i did not think that Master was interested, i did not need to continue with certain rules. He was not pleased, go figure! So this rule resulted, He explained we would be in touch more during the day, and i would be reminded that i am not in charge. It sounds more restrictive than it is, actually. I just about never get a no, and He is very good at quickly replying to my texts. Yes i have to ask even if i am away, or if i have company here.
An expectation was added to this rule, when Master thought i was taking advantage of a possible loop hole. I would ask for permission for as many places as i wanted to go to, and if i did not get to all of them, i figured i had permission for the next day...or whenever. Master noticed, so i now also text Him if i do not get to all the places i asked permission for. Also, no blanket....can i go run errands...i need to be specific. This rule/expectation really does remind me very day that i am not in charge.
6. An expectation is that i text Him a good night message every night. This started when i was struggling with something and Master would text me before bed, to sleep well or to "tuck me in". I liked ending my day that way, so it is now an expectation that i text Him before bed.
7. Master expects me to set up a time for maintenace spankings that occur once a week. Maintenance spankings started almost a year ago, when i emailed Master about feelings of "neediness" and my "voices". His answer was maintenance. To be honest, i was not sure how long it would last, but i should learn to not doubt. Every week that we are both in town, there is maintenance, even if there has been a punishment or reward or just some fun times. I am to set it up, as a way of getting better at asking for what i need. I am not sure that is happening, but setting up maintenance is getting easier for me.
I think i have covered everything....hmmm i hope so!
abby
Monday, February 14, 2011
Whoopie Pies!!!
Master is away this week, and although i miss Him already, I had a not so good weigh in this morning, so i have this week to make it up.
It is not really my fault. I am blaming it on the whoopie pies! For those of you not from New England or more specifically, Maine, whoopie pies, are related to devil dogs. They have nothing to do with making whoopie, althought they are almost as good! They are traditionally a soft, moist chocolate cookie cake top and bottom filled with a rich sweet vanilla buttercream frosting. (See why it is all their fault!)
My wonderful son and daughter in law in Boston sent me a package from Wicked Whooppie Pies for Valentine's day. Now i have never tasted a bakery or store bought whoopie pie that comes close to the home made ones. The home made ones are the kind of recipe that takes all afternoon, and dirties everyting in the kitchen...but soo worth it.
Anyway, i tasted one of the these Wicked ones...and OH MY...heavenly!!!
And, they had the traditional ones, some with a chocolate chip cookie, a double chocolate one, and a maple one....all to die for. The were also huge...like at least twice the size of the ones i would make. Seeing their size i decided i would only eat 1/2....at a time. And of course i had to taste each of the varieties...they were a gift! Did i mention that when i finally decided to check on the calorie count...800 per pie...that would be 400 for each half i enjoyed.
So this morning i packed up the rest of those tasty treats and sent them with my daughter to share with the family she nannies for...and to keep them there!
May you someday get to taste a "wicked whoopie pie"....amd may i be satisfied with just the memory for a long time to come!
abby
It is not really my fault. I am blaming it on the whoopie pies! For those of you not from New England or more specifically, Maine, whoopie pies, are related to devil dogs. They have nothing to do with making whoopie, althought they are almost as good! They are traditionally a soft, moist chocolate cookie cake top and bottom filled with a rich sweet vanilla buttercream frosting. (See why it is all their fault!)
My wonderful son and daughter in law in Boston sent me a package from Wicked Whooppie Pies for Valentine's day. Now i have never tasted a bakery or store bought whoopie pie that comes close to the home made ones. The home made ones are the kind of recipe that takes all afternoon, and dirties everyting in the kitchen...but soo worth it.
Anyway, i tasted one of the these Wicked ones...and OH MY...heavenly!!!
And, they had the traditional ones, some with a chocolate chip cookie, a double chocolate one, and a maple one....all to die for. The were also huge...like at least twice the size of the ones i would make. Seeing their size i decided i would only eat 1/2....at a time. And of course i had to taste each of the varieties...they were a gift! Did i mention that when i finally decided to check on the calorie count...800 per pie...that would be 400 for each half i enjoyed.
So this morning i packed up the rest of those tasty treats and sent them with my daughter to share with the family she nannies for...and to keep them there!
May you someday get to taste a "wicked whoopie pie"....amd may i be satisfied with just the memory for a long time to come!
abby
Thursday, February 10, 2011
i hate thinking up titles.....
Sorry, but i have been sitting here trying to think of some different way to say Maintenance day...and i give up.
When i spoke to Master this morning, i metioned that we still had to have a maintenance day this week. I am supposed to check schedules and make sure that maintenance happens....otherwise, maintenance becomes the dreaded P word. I was expecting Him to say Friday afternoon, which was great with me, since i am still sore from My Punishment spanking on Tuesday. Of course, what He said was, this afternoon.
After our greetings and chat, i casually said that You will have to take it easy,l i am still sore from Tuesday, He chuckled, and said, i guess you should not earn a punishment spanking then. As i looked, there it was, the bath brush. He did start off with His hand, which i was able to relax into and let go. When He switched to that %^%$# bath brush, it took only a very few strokes, before my bottom was on fire. It was not the hardest maintenance spanking i have ever had, but it did not need to be. He gave me 2 quick sets, of maybe 30 or 40 each...i always try to count and never manage to be able to.
Then it was play time...the heat on my bottom, being replaced with heat some place much more enjoyable! i even got a permission to take home with me. We also talked about the next 2 weeks, Master is gone for week one and i will be gone by the time He returns for the next week. He always reminds me...not matter where He is or i am....He is still my Master I am still His....His submissive...Only His...Totally His....sometimes 2 weeks seems like a very long time.
abby
When i spoke to Master this morning, i metioned that we still had to have a maintenance day this week. I am supposed to check schedules and make sure that maintenance happens....otherwise, maintenance becomes the dreaded P word. I was expecting Him to say Friday afternoon, which was great with me, since i am still sore from My Punishment spanking on Tuesday. Of course, what He said was, this afternoon.
After our greetings and chat, i casually said that You will have to take it easy,l i am still sore from Tuesday, He chuckled, and said, i guess you should not earn a punishment spanking then. As i looked, there it was, the bath brush. He did start off with His hand, which i was able to relax into and let go. When He switched to that %^%$# bath brush, it took only a very few strokes, before my bottom was on fire. It was not the hardest maintenance spanking i have ever had, but it did not need to be. He gave me 2 quick sets, of maybe 30 or 40 each...i always try to count and never manage to be able to.
Then it was play time...the heat on my bottom, being replaced with heat some place much more enjoyable! i even got a permission to take home with me. We also talked about the next 2 weeks, Master is gone for week one and i will be gone by the time He returns for the next week. He always reminds me...not matter where He is or i am....He is still my Master I am still His....His submissive...Only His...Totally His....sometimes 2 weeks seems like a very long time.
abby
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
scratch one New Year's resolution
My new year's resolution to submit more gracefully came to an end today. I am sitting with a very sore bottom, and shaking my head at my actions this afternoon. Attitude..i had it, stubborness...yes that too....submission...sadly, not so much.
When i text Master this morning about my plans for this afternoon, He told me He would let me know if i had permission, depending on what time He would be available. He knew i wanted to be some place at 3, by 2:30 i had not heard from Him, so i called and said i would be late and might not make it at all. He text me at 2:45 what i was doing? I replied waiting, but i was not happy...What did He think i was doing? Was He testing me? My already not so great mood, took a definate turn for the worse.
I walked in asking, not so nicely, if this afternoon was a test? Did He expect to find me gone? Would that have been OK? His raised eye brow and quick reply should have warned me. But sometimes , a girl is too far gone to heed a warning. He asked me what happened over the weekend that i gained 2 pounds. After a hesitation, i simply said i don't know.
He held the basement door open and pointed. I hesitated, til i heard a loud NOW.
Master is an expert scolder. He is loud, He has a lot to say, and He makes His point very clear. I was told to lean over and grab the seat of a wooden chair, and NOT to let my hands leave that seat or He would start over. He pulled me pants/panties down. The first swat took my breath away. He does not stop scolding, just because He is spanking. The spanking was slow, but extremely hard...He was using a large peice of wood. I move my feet, He reminds me to keep my hand on the seat...my loud reply was they are there! He stopped to remind me that gaining 2 pounds over a weekend meant i did not even try, i put all my eating rules on a shelf. He does not believe in going backwards, and will not let me go backwards. Finally He said 3 more, pulled down my pants more and said if i moved my hands or feet, they would be on my thighs. When He announces only 3 more, it is a relief, but with the knowledge that will be the hardest ones yet. I managed to stay in place.
He then went over and brought over a rubber strap. He annnounced that if He was not pleased with Friday's report, He would be using the rubber strap in the basement. He gave me one swat with it...WOW. Granted it was on a sore bottom, but i do not ever want to feel that being used on my bottom by an angry Master. I asked if we were done, He allowed me to get up. He reminded me i had not said i was sorry, i replied i had in an email. He said not in person, so i said sorry, and went up the stairs, muttering it was only 2 pounds.
He stayed in the basement, when i reached the top He said He obviously had not done a good enough job, i needed to come back down. I did not want to, and said so. He waited a minute or so. I was not moving. He started to count, and self preservation kicked in and i went back down to Him. He had me back over the seat of the chair, but did not spank, He rubbed and talked. I started to calm down a little. He had me get up and sit in His lap, and we chatted about my attitude and my behavior. I had calmed a little, and we ended with some kneeling time.
Once back upstairs Master said He expects extra effort the rest of the week, to make up for the lost weekend.
Since i have been home, i have been trying to figure out, where all that ungracious submission came from. I have a few ideas, no real answers, but the attitude is gone, replaced with embarrassment. One month...my resolution lasted one month. So i start again...Master my resolution for the rest of this year is to submit more gratiously, to submit because i want to, because it will please You, because it is good for me.
It has been months since my last visit to the basement....hopefully it will be longer than that for my next one.
abby
When i text Master this morning about my plans for this afternoon, He told me He would let me know if i had permission, depending on what time He would be available. He knew i wanted to be some place at 3, by 2:30 i had not heard from Him, so i called and said i would be late and might not make it at all. He text me at 2:45 what i was doing? I replied waiting, but i was not happy...What did He think i was doing? Was He testing me? My already not so great mood, took a definate turn for the worse.
I walked in asking, not so nicely, if this afternoon was a test? Did He expect to find me gone? Would that have been OK? His raised eye brow and quick reply should have warned me. But sometimes , a girl is too far gone to heed a warning. He asked me what happened over the weekend that i gained 2 pounds. After a hesitation, i simply said i don't know.
He held the basement door open and pointed. I hesitated, til i heard a loud NOW.
Master is an expert scolder. He is loud, He has a lot to say, and He makes His point very clear. I was told to lean over and grab the seat of a wooden chair, and NOT to let my hands leave that seat or He would start over. He pulled me pants/panties down. The first swat took my breath away. He does not stop scolding, just because He is spanking. The spanking was slow, but extremely hard...He was using a large peice of wood. I move my feet, He reminds me to keep my hand on the seat...my loud reply was they are there! He stopped to remind me that gaining 2 pounds over a weekend meant i did not even try, i put all my eating rules on a shelf. He does not believe in going backwards, and will not let me go backwards. Finally He said 3 more, pulled down my pants more and said if i moved my hands or feet, they would be on my thighs. When He announces only 3 more, it is a relief, but with the knowledge that will be the hardest ones yet. I managed to stay in place.
He then went over and brought over a rubber strap. He annnounced that if He was not pleased with Friday's report, He would be using the rubber strap in the basement. He gave me one swat with it...WOW. Granted it was on a sore bottom, but i do not ever want to feel that being used on my bottom by an angry Master. I asked if we were done, He allowed me to get up. He reminded me i had not said i was sorry, i replied i had in an email. He said not in person, so i said sorry, and went up the stairs, muttering it was only 2 pounds.
He stayed in the basement, when i reached the top He said He obviously had not done a good enough job, i needed to come back down. I did not want to, and said so. He waited a minute or so. I was not moving. He started to count, and self preservation kicked in and i went back down to Him. He had me back over the seat of the chair, but did not spank, He rubbed and talked. I started to calm down a little. He had me get up and sit in His lap, and we chatted about my attitude and my behavior. I had calmed a little, and we ended with some kneeling time.
Once back upstairs Master said He expects extra effort the rest of the week, to make up for the lost weekend.
Since i have been home, i have been trying to figure out, where all that ungracious submission came from. I have a few ideas, no real answers, but the attitude is gone, replaced with embarrassment. One month...my resolution lasted one month. So i start again...Master my resolution for the rest of this year is to submit more gratiously, to submit because i want to, because it will please You, because it is good for me.
It has been months since my last visit to the basement....hopefully it will be longer than that for my next one.
abby
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday's (sad) report
More snow, more freezing temps, maybe i can blame them for my report this morning?
For the first time in quite a while i had to report a significant gain this morning. Significant as in, 2 pounds just over the weekend. I only had to lose 1/2 to get back to my goal, and i guess i decided 1/2 pound, i don't even have to try. My daughter made homemade pizza on Sunday, it is DEELISH...had it for lunch and dinner, when to a friend's birthday dinner on Sat....you can imagine part of that menu. I don't wii on the weekends.
It all adds up to a 2 pound gain.
I delayed reporting, then decided to text instead of calling...i know it doesn't change anything, except i don't have to hear His disappointment, and then His resolve to make sure i don't let this happen again for a LONG time. I text that i was sorry and would do better....His reply..Oh you WILL!
He got tied up at work this afternoon, so we did not meet. It's kind of a good news/bad news situation. Good news..i get a short reprieve and He gets a chance to cool down a little. Bad news...He made sure i knew i was not off the hook, i hate waiting for a punishment, i just want it done, and it gives Him time to think about how to make me really regret my lapse.
I will let you know how it goes...if i can sit at my computer...
abby
For the first time in quite a while i had to report a significant gain this morning. Significant as in, 2 pounds just over the weekend. I only had to lose 1/2 to get back to my goal, and i guess i decided 1/2 pound, i don't even have to try. My daughter made homemade pizza on Sunday, it is DEELISH...had it for lunch and dinner, when to a friend's birthday dinner on Sat....you can imagine part of that menu. I don't wii on the weekends.
It all adds up to a 2 pound gain.
I delayed reporting, then decided to text instead of calling...i know it doesn't change anything, except i don't have to hear His disappointment, and then His resolve to make sure i don't let this happen again for a LONG time. I text that i was sorry and would do better....His reply..Oh you WILL!
He got tied up at work this afternoon, so we did not meet. It's kind of a good news/bad news situation. Good news..i get a short reprieve and He gets a chance to cool down a little. Bad news...He made sure i knew i was not off the hook, i hate waiting for a punishment, i just want it done, and it gives Him time to think about how to make me really regret my lapse.
I will let you know how it goes...if i can sit at my computer...
abby
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Brrrr....weekend thoughts
I have always lived in an area where the 4 seasons expressed themselves with all their glory, and loved it. Except the past few years i have been wishing that winter would last at the most, 2 months, and maybe just over the holidays. It is snowing here again, and according to the weather people, it won't get above freezing this coming week. ENOUGH i say! (i have about as much power over the weather gods, as i do over master, so settle in for more winter).
The scale was good to me on Friday, i lost 1 pound. Only 1/2 to go til i am back to my goal weight, porbably not my final goal, but my most recent one. Master expects that to happen tomorrow.
Master is away for the weekend, and whenever He or i are away i usually feel somewhat uneasy. This weekend has been different. I had a "welcome home" and my maintenance spankings last week, and we spent some time on Friday just being together, chatting, and having Him remind me that no matter where each of us are, I am His...all of me...His submissive. For some reason that time on Friday seems to have made a difference.
I have felt His presence all weekend. I have been calm, and sure, no "voices", and looking forward to His return. It's only a weekend, but this time the "apartness" has not caused my "voices" to attempt a return. Maybe i am finally turning a corner, becoming a little more confident, understanding better what Master is always telling me. I hope so, because this feeling is much better than what i usually put myself through.
We will see, after this coming week, Master is away for a week, and i leave before He returns for a week...yeah that's 2 weeks to test my new "resolve". Hopefully what i have felt this weekend, will carry me through those 2 weeks.
Stay cozy and warm, i am going to finish a great book i am reading.
hugs, abby
The scale was good to me on Friday, i lost 1 pound. Only 1/2 to go til i am back to my goal weight, porbably not my final goal, but my most recent one. Master expects that to happen tomorrow.
Master is away for the weekend, and whenever He or i are away i usually feel somewhat uneasy. This weekend has been different. I had a "welcome home" and my maintenance spankings last week, and we spent some time on Friday just being together, chatting, and having Him remind me that no matter where each of us are, I am His...all of me...His submissive. For some reason that time on Friday seems to have made a difference.
I have felt His presence all weekend. I have been calm, and sure, no "voices", and looking forward to His return. It's only a weekend, but this time the "apartness" has not caused my "voices" to attempt a return. Maybe i am finally turning a corner, becoming a little more confident, understanding better what Master is always telling me. I hope so, because this feeling is much better than what i usually put myself through.
We will see, after this coming week, Master is away for a week, and i leave before He returns for a week...yeah that's 2 weeks to test my new "resolve". Hopefully what i have felt this weekend, will carry me through those 2 weeks.
Stay cozy and warm, i am going to finish a great book i am reading.
hugs, abby
Thursday, February 3, 2011
why is it so hard to ask?
I have been really "out of sorts" for the past 3 days...for no reason, for a lot of reasons. Besides some aggravations at home, i miss my dad, i am sick of the cold and snow, the diet is suffering, and i have been feeling not so submissive. UGH! I have mostly kept up with my rules and expectations, but not graciously. When i have called Master and He could not answer (at work) i hung up instead of leaving messages. My wonderful little "voices" were starting to gleefully return. UGH! UGH!
After playing phone tag a bit today Master and i finally connected. He could tell, He can always tell, after a very few words that i was not in a good place. I knew He was waiting for me to ask for my maintenance spanking. So i mumbled something like...do You have time today or tomorrow, if not that's OK. Silence on His end....that's never good. Finally, He asked if that was me asking for maintenance, for what i need.
I asked again, with a Sir and a please, and we agreed on a time for this afternoon.
We started maintenance almost a year ago...why is it sometimes still so hard for me to say the words...to ask for what i know i need, for what makes me a better submissive, for what i had wondered about for a long time. Most of the time it has become easier, but other times like today, i almost choke on the words. Master is always receptive, and has made it clear that not asking is not acceptable.
So we met, hugged, spanked, "played", and talked. He had me repeat why We started maintenance....to keep me focused, to help avoid Punishment spankings, to keep Us connected...all good things!
Tonight i am calmer, more content, feeling more like His submissive. I am dreading my weigh in tomorrow, i had been told i had a week to lose 11/2 pounds....by this Monday. That leaves the weekend, and i don't think i made much progress this week. Wish me luck... and a scale that likes me!
abby
After playing phone tag a bit today Master and i finally connected. He could tell, He can always tell, after a very few words that i was not in a good place. I knew He was waiting for me to ask for my maintenance spanking. So i mumbled something like...do You have time today or tomorrow, if not that's OK. Silence on His end....that's never good. Finally, He asked if that was me asking for maintenance, for what i need.
I asked again, with a Sir and a please, and we agreed on a time for this afternoon.
We started maintenance almost a year ago...why is it sometimes still so hard for me to say the words...to ask for what i know i need, for what makes me a better submissive, for what i had wondered about for a long time. Most of the time it has become easier, but other times like today, i almost choke on the words. Master is always receptive, and has made it clear that not asking is not acceptable.
So we met, hugged, spanked, "played", and talked. He had me repeat why We started maintenance....to keep me focused, to help avoid Punishment spankings, to keep Us connected...all good things!
Tonight i am calmer, more content, feeling more like His submissive. I am dreading my weigh in tomorrow, i had been told i had a week to lose 11/2 pounds....by this Monday. That leaves the weekend, and i don't think i made much progress this week. Wish me luck... and a scale that likes me!
abby
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday's update
I got back here over the weekend, but i never feel like i am home...i am where i belong...until Master has welcomed me home. Luckily He makes that happen quickly. My weigh in report this morning was that i had gained 1 1/2 pounds. I was pleased with that, it has been 2 weeks, and last week was fast foods, goodies, restaurants and lots of temptations. I was pretty sure He would give me a "good girl", and ask when i would be back to the goal.
I was greeted with a long, tight hug, some catching up chat, asking how i really was,...i am OK, still processing that dad is gone. Kneeling time was like a long slow massage, taking in His scent, His touch, His voice, filling what had been depleted within me. When i was finally relaxed, He mentioned my report, i said pretty good, right? He said it was a gain, but eventually agreed considering the circumstances it was pretty good.
Our reconnection spanking was a long, slow build up, using His hand, slowly peeling off the layers of my clothing, the kind of spanking that makes one wonder why everyone doesn't do this and wishing it would last for hours. Eventually he moved on to His paddle turning up the heat on a well warmed bottom. I was on my way to floating, when He stopped and said, time to address the gain. i argued...a bit...He countered with...not a punishment, nothing harsh, but a definate reminder that gaining is never acceptable. He had to wait a bit to get my Yes Sir, but he was patient, and i have learned that delaying too much only adds to my eventual discomfort.
It was over quickly, and "we" decided that i would lost the 1 1/2 by next Monday.
Then it was play time. i was primed..it has been 2 weeks. It did not take me long to start moaning and requesting persmission to cum, and cum, and cum. Master chuckled and reminded me that i used to say enough after once, saying there was no way i could orgasm more than once. Some things, i am only too happy to be wrong about!
Surprisingly i found myself fighting my tears. It took me years to cry in front of Master, and now the tears seem to have a mind of their own. He encouraged me to let them go, but i held on...guess i still need some practice in letting go.
After some coming back to earth time, with lots of rubbing and quiet talk, i was back to kneeling. I asked if this counted as this week's maintenance. Since i did not ask or arrange for today, it does not. Master insists that i ask for my maintence spankings, since asking for what i need is difficult for me.
It was a wonderful welcome back!
abby
I was greeted with a long, tight hug, some catching up chat, asking how i really was,...i am OK, still processing that dad is gone. Kneeling time was like a long slow massage, taking in His scent, His touch, His voice, filling what had been depleted within me. When i was finally relaxed, He mentioned my report, i said pretty good, right? He said it was a gain, but eventually agreed considering the circumstances it was pretty good.
Our reconnection spanking was a long, slow build up, using His hand, slowly peeling off the layers of my clothing, the kind of spanking that makes one wonder why everyone doesn't do this and wishing it would last for hours. Eventually he moved on to His paddle turning up the heat on a well warmed bottom. I was on my way to floating, when He stopped and said, time to address the gain. i argued...a bit...He countered with...not a punishment, nothing harsh, but a definate reminder that gaining is never acceptable. He had to wait a bit to get my Yes Sir, but he was patient, and i have learned that delaying too much only adds to my eventual discomfort.
It was over quickly, and "we" decided that i would lost the 1 1/2 by next Monday.
Then it was play time. i was primed..it has been 2 weeks. It did not take me long to start moaning and requesting persmission to cum, and cum, and cum. Master chuckled and reminded me that i used to say enough after once, saying there was no way i could orgasm more than once. Some things, i am only too happy to be wrong about!
Surprisingly i found myself fighting my tears. It took me years to cry in front of Master, and now the tears seem to have a mind of their own. He encouraged me to let them go, but i held on...guess i still need some practice in letting go.
After some coming back to earth time, with lots of rubbing and quiet talk, i was back to kneeling. I asked if this counted as this week's maintenance. Since i did not ask or arrange for today, it does not. Master insists that i ask for my maintence spankings, since asking for what i need is difficult for me.
It was a wonderful welcome back!
abby
Saturday, January 29, 2011
dad......
Last week was a tough week. Babysitting was going fine...altho i had forgotten how much "stuff" you have to pack and lug when taking an 18 month old someplace. I had plans for Maya and i to drive to Maine on Friday (21st), when Boston got 12 inches of snow. They have a LOT of snow! So, i called and said we would travel on Saturday. Before i had a chance to leave Sat. morning, i got a call....dad had died early that morning in his sleep.
My dad was a man of few words, a wonderful sense of humor, a strong sense of duty, and a firm determination that family always came first. He had 10 older brothers and a younger sister. His dad left the family when he was 3, so his childhood was difficult. All of his brothers served in WWII, my dad lying about his age to enlist. He worked doubly hard to be sure his family had everything he never had.
He is no longer here, but he lives on. He taught all of his 10 grandchildren to play cribbage, til they were good enough to give him a challenge. When the great-grands came along, we knew the rocking chair would be rocking again, while he whistled all of the Big Band tunes. He left us all with lessons and gifts...and a wonderful legacy of love.
Love you more dad...
abby
My dad was a man of few words, a wonderful sense of humor, a strong sense of duty, and a firm determination that family always came first. He had 10 older brothers and a younger sister. His dad left the family when he was 3, so his childhood was difficult. All of his brothers served in WWII, my dad lying about his age to enlist. He worked doubly hard to be sure his family had everything he never had.
He is no longer here, but he lives on. He taught all of his 10 grandchildren to play cribbage, til they were good enough to give him a challenge. When the great-grands came along, we knew the rocking chair would be rocking again, while he whistled all of the Big Band tunes. He left us all with lessons and gifts...and a wonderful legacy of love.
Love you more dad...
abby
Friday, January 21, 2011
Boston...."easy"
BRRRRR....When i am home i envy the mild Boston winters. This year, instead of the usual 15 inches of snow for this time of year, they are close to 50... with another storm headed here on Wednesday. To top it off, for the first time in years it should get below 0, by about 10 degress on Monday!!!! Hope the kids are enjoying Hawaii.
Babysitting is going well. She is an easy 18 month old to get along with. She is learning new words every day, which makes me love this age. We were supposed to head up to Maine today to visit my parents, but the 10 new inches of snow changed that plan. Hoping to get there tomorrow for a day or two.
The word "easy' has been running around my head lately. When i was a teenager to be an easy girl was NOT a good thing...i attended an all girl's private school...so positively not a good thing! But what about being an easy submissive? It would seem to be a good thing. Am i an easy submissive? I think i am easier than i used to be. Master was very patient and consistent when we first started this journey...not that He has changed. But i was so unsure of so many things, and found trust to be difficult to give. I once even asked Him, if He was sure i was a submissive. He was sure, and i am sure. I have learned to trust, and what it means when i say, You are my priority Sir, my aim is to please You...i am owned only and totally by my Master. So, i believe i am an easier submissve, although there are days Master would dispute that statement. Is being an "easy or easier" submissive less challenging, or more boring, making it a not such a good thing? I don't know.
Has my submission to Master becom easier? Yes, in some things. There are areas i am still struggling to let go in. But i do also know what it feels like to think...i would do anything He asked....and it is such an awesome feeling. Master once told me that when He saw my submission becoming too easy, it would be time to "raise the bar". I can understand that....being routine, leads to boring, and the specialness might diminish. I can also see where He gets a greater enjoyment seeing me struggle, and finally succeed. He has helped me attain goals i never thought possible.
My point in all this. I don't think i have one...just sharing some thoughts on a cold, snowy Boston night.
stay warm....abby
Babysitting is going well. She is an easy 18 month old to get along with. She is learning new words every day, which makes me love this age. We were supposed to head up to Maine today to visit my parents, but the 10 new inches of snow changed that plan. Hoping to get there tomorrow for a day or two.
The word "easy' has been running around my head lately. When i was a teenager to be an easy girl was NOT a good thing...i attended an all girl's private school...so positively not a good thing! But what about being an easy submissive? It would seem to be a good thing. Am i an easy submissive? I think i am easier than i used to be. Master was very patient and consistent when we first started this journey...not that He has changed. But i was so unsure of so many things, and found trust to be difficult to give. I once even asked Him, if He was sure i was a submissive. He was sure, and i am sure. I have learned to trust, and what it means when i say, You are my priority Sir, my aim is to please You...i am owned only and totally by my Master. So, i believe i am an easier submissve, although there are days Master would dispute that statement. Is being an "easy or easier" submissive less challenging, or more boring, making it a not such a good thing? I don't know.
Has my submission to Master becom easier? Yes, in some things. There are areas i am still struggling to let go in. But i do also know what it feels like to think...i would do anything He asked....and it is such an awesome feeling. Master once told me that when He saw my submission becoming too easy, it would be time to "raise the bar". I can understand that....being routine, leads to boring, and the specialness might diminish. I can also see where He gets a greater enjoyment seeing me struggle, and finally succeed. He has helped me attain goals i never thought possible.
My point in all this. I don't think i have one...just sharing some thoughts on a cold, snowy Boston night.
stay warm....abby
Monday, January 17, 2011
Monday's report
Hello all from Boston. I drove over yesterday, through some nasty weather, but needed sunglasses when i finally got to Massachusetts. My son and daughter in law leave for Hawaii, very early Wednesday morning...Maya and i get to be buddies....she is a great buddy!
I don't weigh in when i am not home. No wii, not the same scale...when i weigh in i need to have everything the same as it always is. Luckily Master allows me this indulgence. It makes my first weigh in when i return a surprise, and not always a good one.
For the past 6 months i have been away from home often. I have always taken time to visit my adult children, but throw in my dad's health, and grand children and lately it seems i am away at least 1 week a month.
I used to go away, and after a couple of days i would have completely forgotten that i have rules, or a weigh in awaiting me. I would slowly start to feel detached from being accountable to Someone, and my returns were almost always bumpy. I had a whole new mindset, and not a great submissive one.
Over time Master and i have worked that out. I use to think that Master looked forward to my going away, i would not be bugging Him, he could forget about me, more free time for Him. He never said that to me, i just convinced myself. We would not be in touch as much, i would slowly let go of my rituals and rules, and start to drive myself crazy.
Luckily Master does not give up easily. I now know that being away is a time for me to be more conscience of my rituals and rules. To keep Master in my head as well as in my heart. My first text to Him this morning was...knelt for You, could smell, feel, and hear You, Sir,. He said it was a good start.
Master always tells me to use all the tools in my tool box, and to use them as often as i need/want to. What He is telling me is...this is NOT the time to stop asking for permissions, to forget to do a daily task, to not keep in touch. I can call, text, email as often as i need. I now believe that He means it. He gets texts and pictures and calls and emails, as often as i need to be in touch with Him. I now know, that i am His submissive 24/7...no matter where i am. I know He will be waiting for me when i return. I know that it is up to me to make that reunion one we both enjoy!
I already miss You Master!
abby
I don't weigh in when i am not home. No wii, not the same scale...when i weigh in i need to have everything the same as it always is. Luckily Master allows me this indulgence. It makes my first weigh in when i return a surprise, and not always a good one.
For the past 6 months i have been away from home often. I have always taken time to visit my adult children, but throw in my dad's health, and grand children and lately it seems i am away at least 1 week a month.
I used to go away, and after a couple of days i would have completely forgotten that i have rules, or a weigh in awaiting me. I would slowly start to feel detached from being accountable to Someone, and my returns were almost always bumpy. I had a whole new mindset, and not a great submissive one.
Over time Master and i have worked that out. I use to think that Master looked forward to my going away, i would not be bugging Him, he could forget about me, more free time for Him. He never said that to me, i just convinced myself. We would not be in touch as much, i would slowly let go of my rituals and rules, and start to drive myself crazy.
Luckily Master does not give up easily. I now know that being away is a time for me to be more conscience of my rituals and rules. To keep Master in my head as well as in my heart. My first text to Him this morning was...knelt for You, could smell, feel, and hear You, Sir,. He said it was a good start.
Master always tells me to use all the tools in my tool box, and to use them as often as i need/want to. What He is telling me is...this is NOT the time to stop asking for permissions, to forget to do a daily task, to not keep in touch. I can call, text, email as often as i need. I now believe that He means it. He gets texts and pictures and calls and emails, as often as i need to be in touch with Him. I now know, that i am His submissive 24/7...no matter where i am. I know He will be waiting for me when i return. I know that it is up to me to make that reunion one we both enjoy!
I already miss You Master!
abby
Friday, January 14, 2011
no loss....but no gain
Monday i was only 1/2 pound away from my goal weight. I was sure i would be there when i weighed in today. I used the wii, i was fairly careful with what i ate....and, i did not lose the 1/2 pound...i did not gain...but that darn scale did not budge. When i texted Master, His reply was Hmmmmm..
On my way to see Master, i was not sure what to expect. A 'stay the same week' is usually cause for punishment..not a major one, but not a play time. But i am leaving for Boston this weekend, and will be gone about 2 weeks. I had told him that i tried, and He had agreed.
After some chatting, i was kneeling for Him. He decided to attack my nipples. I reacted and lifted my hands, but quickly recovered. I was reminded they are His, and He could make this more painful. I stayed in place and managed to breathe through the rest of His nipple play time. He then said i was to stay the same while away, He would not punish me for the stay the same week. I asked for a little wriggle room, but did not get it, and was reminded that it has been a while since we had a trip to the basement. Those are to be avoided if at all possible...no good or happy memories down there.
We sent time chatting and hugging and enjoying each others company. Master reminded me to use all the tools in my tool box..more about that in my next post. Then it was time to say good-bye. I miss Him all ready, but He will be waiting when i return. On the bright side, there is an 18 month old, with big plans for grandma!
abby
On my way to see Master, i was not sure what to expect. A 'stay the same week' is usually cause for punishment..not a major one, but not a play time. But i am leaving for Boston this weekend, and will be gone about 2 weeks. I had told him that i tried, and He had agreed.
After some chatting, i was kneeling for Him. He decided to attack my nipples. I reacted and lifted my hands, but quickly recovered. I was reminded they are His, and He could make this more painful. I stayed in place and managed to breathe through the rest of His nipple play time. He then said i was to stay the same while away, He would not punish me for the stay the same week. I asked for a little wriggle room, but did not get it, and was reminded that it has been a while since we had a trip to the basement. Those are to be avoided if at all possible...no good or happy memories down there.
We sent time chatting and hugging and enjoying each others company. Master reminded me to use all the tools in my tool box..more about that in my next post. Then it was time to say good-bye. I miss Him all ready, but He will be waiting when i return. On the bright side, there is an 18 month old, with big plans for grandma!
abby
Thursday, January 13, 2011
maintenance...reminder
It is FREEZING here..and way too much snow. I want to go someplace warm!
Since that doesn't seem to be in my future, guess i will have to rely on Master to warm me up.
This afternoon was maintenace or "reminder" spanking day. Usually i have to ask, but we seem to be having a hard time connecting during the day. I got a text, "Come on over", did not hear my phone, was in the basement, but luckily i checked and read the message soon after it was sent. So i came on over.
Master was busy cutting some tile, He is doing a bathroom re-model. So He told me to get comfortable...translation...kneeling and naked. I did, but my mind was wandering. When Master walked in, He immediately told me to focus! Naked, kneeling time should have my focus totally on Him, even if He is not in the room with me.
He started to claim every part of me, remarking that i went a little short on the hair cut this morning. Might limit His "caveman" ways. Then it was over His lap. Maintenance is pretty much the same, i have to say why i am being spanked, and why we have weekly "reminders". He graciouly started with a nice hand warm-up, with some rubbing, before that hair brush paddle came out. He reminds me that i need to remember this for a while, so i know i need to prepare myself. Starting off slowly, He builds to a hard and fast series, My feet are kicking, but i am staying put, and concentrating on breathing. Soon i am ouching rather loudly, and after a harder set we are done.
Master is talking, rubbing, comforting, and checking to see if i am "wet", of course i am. I will never understand that connection, but it is there. Master soon has me on the verge of cumming, and being the nice "Guy" He is, tells me to cum before i can even get the words out. It is intense, and i find myself, not sobbing, but crying. Master comforts me, and brings me to a safe landing, assuring me that my emotions are good, that He is my safety net, that He is here for me. Finally i am back.
One of the things that i love about Master is the way He uses words. I taught english for a long time, and i know the importance of words. Master can make me laugh, breathe, regret, cum, think, bring me to tears, all with the way He uses words. It is not something i went looking for, but i am soo glad i found it, it is important to me.
Master asked about my weigh in tomorrow. I honestly told Him i had no idea. Using the wii, means i get weighed every day, but this week it has been a very inconsistent week. Lose, gain, lose, gain. He says, i would hate to have to punish you before you leave. ( I am off to Boston, for a babysitting stint). I say, i thought 2 spankings a week was our limit, He laughed and gave me "that" look. We shall see tomorrow.
abby
Since that doesn't seem to be in my future, guess i will have to rely on Master to warm me up.
This afternoon was maintenace or "reminder" spanking day. Usually i have to ask, but we seem to be having a hard time connecting during the day. I got a text, "Come on over", did not hear my phone, was in the basement, but luckily i checked and read the message soon after it was sent. So i came on over.
Master was busy cutting some tile, He is doing a bathroom re-model. So He told me to get comfortable...translation...kneeling and naked. I did, but my mind was wandering. When Master walked in, He immediately told me to focus! Naked, kneeling time should have my focus totally on Him, even if He is not in the room with me.
He started to claim every part of me, remarking that i went a little short on the hair cut this morning. Might limit His "caveman" ways. Then it was over His lap. Maintenance is pretty much the same, i have to say why i am being spanked, and why we have weekly "reminders". He graciouly started with a nice hand warm-up, with some rubbing, before that hair brush paddle came out. He reminds me that i need to remember this for a while, so i know i need to prepare myself. Starting off slowly, He builds to a hard and fast series, My feet are kicking, but i am staying put, and concentrating on breathing. Soon i am ouching rather loudly, and after a harder set we are done.
Master is talking, rubbing, comforting, and checking to see if i am "wet", of course i am. I will never understand that connection, but it is there. Master soon has me on the verge of cumming, and being the nice "Guy" He is, tells me to cum before i can even get the words out. It is intense, and i find myself, not sobbing, but crying. Master comforts me, and brings me to a safe landing, assuring me that my emotions are good, that He is my safety net, that He is here for me. Finally i am back.
One of the things that i love about Master is the way He uses words. I taught english for a long time, and i know the importance of words. Master can make me laugh, breathe, regret, cum, think, bring me to tears, all with the way He uses words. It is not something i went looking for, but i am soo glad i found it, it is important to me.
Master asked about my weigh in tomorrow. I honestly told Him i had no idea. Using the wii, means i get weighed every day, but this week it has been a very inconsistent week. Lose, gain, lose, gain. He says, i would hate to have to punish you before you leave. ( I am off to Boston, for a babysitting stint). I say, i thought 2 spankings a week was our limit, He laughed and gave me "that" look. We shall see tomorrow.
abby
Monday, January 10, 2011
mmmmmmm.....sounds of contentment
I received a surprise message from Master this afternoon, i was to meet Him in an hour. We had not really connected all day, i had texted Him my weigh-in, He texted back, and i called at lunch, but did not even leave a message. So i was surprised, but sometimes surprises can be soo nice.
We hugged and chatted and i knelt for Him. Then it was over his knee for a nice hand warm up. He lightly tapped my thighs, just only as a tease. We were chatting about different things, and it was just nice and relaxed and special.
He then commented that since i had said that He seemed to be attached to His brush paddle, He decided to make this a leather day! I love leather, leather over wood and day! (hmm..maybe i can hint at a few more things here...)
Over the side of the sofa i went, and the large leather strap was in His hand. He started with a set of 20 that i struggled through. Not sure why, i was warmed up and it was leather, but the last few seemed to really hurt, and i was struggling to stay in place. He announced that was 20 out of 100, and i panicked. He started rubbing and soothing and talking quietly, saying i could do this, i needed to relax a little, and it was LEATHER. I took a deep breath, He changed sides and i sailed through the next 20. We made it to 80, but i did notice everytime he went to that first side, they definately did hurt more. I did complain, not that it changed His plan. The last 20 were 10 harder ones on each side. By the end, i could feel my wetness.
Master likes to "check" to see if my complaining was valid....He chuckled and said one part of me was certainly not complaining. Using His magical fingers He quickly brought me to the edge.....when he decided we should chat.
Sometimes i wonder what is He thinking, here i am trying to remember just to keep breathing, not to cum without permission, squirming, and He wants to chat! He claims this is when He as my complete attention, and i will agree more quickly. So we chatted about my diet and my upcoming babysitting trip to Boston, and i honestly don't remember what else. He certainly did not stop enjoying my "wetness". Finally i nicely asked if we could please stop with the chatting.....i needed a permission....and it was granted. I'm not sure how many orgasms i had, more that usual 2 or 3....i just could get enough.
I never thought that i would or could be so orgasmic.
When i came back to earth, Master had me lay my head in His lap, and was rubbing and kissing and helping me to a "safe landing". It was such an unexpected, wonderful, special time....one of those, i want to remember this forever times. Master said He wanted to make sure i came back from Boston as soon as possible....He ensured that. I always miss Him, of course, but i am already wishing i were back.
As i was getting dressed, Master said this was not maintenance. I looked at Him, and he continued, i had not asked for it, i am supposed to ask for maintenance. So, maintenance is on tap for later this week, for now i just want to enjoy the aftermath of this afternoon.
I was going to wait til tomorrow to post this, since i had blogged this morning. But Master thought 2 postings in one day were not too much.
Thank you Master...i have rarely felt as content, at peace, and cared for, as i do this evening.
abby
We hugged and chatted and i knelt for Him. Then it was over his knee for a nice hand warm up. He lightly tapped my thighs, just only as a tease. We were chatting about different things, and it was just nice and relaxed and special.
He then commented that since i had said that He seemed to be attached to His brush paddle, He decided to make this a leather day! I love leather, leather over wood and day! (hmm..maybe i can hint at a few more things here...)
Over the side of the sofa i went, and the large leather strap was in His hand. He started with a set of 20 that i struggled through. Not sure why, i was warmed up and it was leather, but the last few seemed to really hurt, and i was struggling to stay in place. He announced that was 20 out of 100, and i panicked. He started rubbing and soothing and talking quietly, saying i could do this, i needed to relax a little, and it was LEATHER. I took a deep breath, He changed sides and i sailed through the next 20. We made it to 80, but i did notice everytime he went to that first side, they definately did hurt more. I did complain, not that it changed His plan. The last 20 were 10 harder ones on each side. By the end, i could feel my wetness.
Master likes to "check" to see if my complaining was valid....He chuckled and said one part of me was certainly not complaining. Using His magical fingers He quickly brought me to the edge.....when he decided we should chat.
Sometimes i wonder what is He thinking, here i am trying to remember just to keep breathing, not to cum without permission, squirming, and He wants to chat! He claims this is when He as my complete attention, and i will agree more quickly. So we chatted about my diet and my upcoming babysitting trip to Boston, and i honestly don't remember what else. He certainly did not stop enjoying my "wetness". Finally i nicely asked if we could please stop with the chatting.....i needed a permission....and it was granted. I'm not sure how many orgasms i had, more that usual 2 or 3....i just could get enough.
I never thought that i would or could be so orgasmic.
When i came back to earth, Master had me lay my head in His lap, and was rubbing and kissing and helping me to a "safe landing". It was such an unexpected, wonderful, special time....one of those, i want to remember this forever times. Master said He wanted to make sure i came back from Boston as soon as possible....He ensured that. I always miss Him, of course, but i am already wishing i were back.
As i was getting dressed, Master said this was not maintenance. I looked at Him, and he continued, i had not asked for it, i am supposed to ask for maintenance. So, maintenance is on tap for later this week, for now i just want to enjoy the aftermath of this afternoon.
I was going to wait til tomorrow to post this, since i had blogged this morning. But Master thought 2 postings in one day were not too much.
Thank you Master...i have rarely felt as content, at peace, and cared for, as i do this evening.
abby
Monday update...
Good morning! I have been thinking I wanted to post more, but was not sure what to write about....except of course the obvious. I have decided to make it a goal to post a Monday Update...it might be boring, it might be very vanilla, but i know i love reading any updates for all of you. So this is my first Monday update.
I had a quiet weekend, snowy and cold! The best part was the delicious home-made pizza my daughter made on Saturday. I am not a big fan of pizza, but hers is soooo good..i had it for lunch and dinner.
I also had a great weigh in this morning. I say great because it was a nice surprise. I was a little apprehensive....pizza, and snuck in some ice cream on Sunday. I weigh in every Monday and Friday mornings. I use the wii, and wear my same PJ's and at around the same time, i leave nothing to chance. I am trying to convince Master that once a week would be nice, but so far He is not buying into it. The "diet gods" were good to me this morning.....down 1 pound. I am only 1/2 pound above where i was before the holidays! Hurrah for me! Although i have a feeling i better not tempt those gods this week.
My book club meets tomorrow, so i will be spending much of today reading.
What a great way to spend the day!
Have a good week all...try to stay warm.
abby
I had a quiet weekend, snowy and cold! The best part was the delicious home-made pizza my daughter made on Saturday. I am not a big fan of pizza, but hers is soooo good..i had it for lunch and dinner.
I also had a great weigh in this morning. I say great because it was a nice surprise. I was a little apprehensive....pizza, and snuck in some ice cream on Sunday. I weigh in every Monday and Friday mornings. I use the wii, and wear my same PJ's and at around the same time, i leave nothing to chance. I am trying to convince Master that once a week would be nice, but so far He is not buying into it. The "diet gods" were good to me this morning.....down 1 pound. I am only 1/2 pound above where i was before the holidays! Hurrah for me! Although i have a feeling i better not tempt those gods this week.
My book club meets tomorrow, so i will be spending much of today reading.
What a great way to spend the day!
Have a good week all...try to stay warm.
abby
Friday, January 7, 2011
brrrrrrr....
I hope everyone is staying nice and cozy and warm. It is way too cold here in Western NY, with more snow on the way. I love the four seasons, seeing the changes, but winter needs to be, at the most, 1 month long!
Master decided i needed some "warming up" this afternoon...i could not have agreed more. Since i was really cold when i arrived, He said we could start with clothing on and slowly pull off the layers. That rarely happens, but it was nice. He was using the hairbrush paddle, He seems to be attached to it lately. Over jeans, i don't mind it at all. After a bit he started peeling off the layers, over a bare bottom that hairbrush paddle heats things up much more quickly.
Once Master decides my bottom is sufficiently warmed up, he moves on to other parts. I am soon panting and sweating and needing a permission....or two. When i finally caught my breath again, i was so cozy and warm and comfy...winter is not all that bad...lol. After some chatting we had to be on our way.....short and sweet and cozy.....and warmed up enough to face the cold once again.
abby
Master decided i needed some "warming up" this afternoon...i could not have agreed more. Since i was really cold when i arrived, He said we could start with clothing on and slowly pull off the layers. That rarely happens, but it was nice. He was using the hairbrush paddle, He seems to be attached to it lately. Over jeans, i don't mind it at all. After a bit he started peeling off the layers, over a bare bottom that hairbrush paddle heats things up much more quickly.
Once Master decides my bottom is sufficiently warmed up, he moves on to other parts. I am soon panting and sweating and needing a permission....or two. When i finally caught my breath again, i was so cozy and warm and comfy...winter is not all that bad...lol. After some chatting we had to be on our way.....short and sweet and cozy.....and warmed up enough to face the cold once again.
abby
Monday, January 3, 2011
A good start to 2011
Master and i had a wonderfully delicious morning..a great way to start 2011!
Only it started out with a misstep. Master emailed me early this morning, to remind me to start on the wii and that i needed to report my weigh in. I read the text and did both. Later Master calls and asks if there is a problem...He has been waiting for me. I had not read the whole text...big OOPS! I quickly apologized and went to Him.
The oops was forgiven, but with a warning i should check my messages more carefully. We hugged and chatted, Master was pleased with my New Year's note and with my last blog post on obedience/submission. He pointed out how far i have come, places where i have definately improved recently, and how He looks forward to this year.
Then it was kneeling time where He claimed all parts of me, and i never even flinched..even with pinching and pulling of my so sensitive nipples. A wonderfully relaxing long hand spanking mixed in with lots of rubbing was next on the agenda. I was soo relaxed. Then Master said, "reach over and hand me to bath brush". Not words i enjoy hearing. Without hesitation, i reached over and gave it to Him. I could feel His smile as He commented, good job, very submissive, no hesitation.
He started off slowly, built slowly, and i was still somewhat relaxed.
Mater then asked if i wanted my first maintenance for the year, now or after my flogging. I opted for now, and He reminded me that i am to ask for maintenance. I did, and that darn bath brush was heating up my bottom with harder spanks. Master had me tell Him why we have maintenance...to keep me on track, to keep my "voices" quiet, to help to avoid a major punishment session. Then without warning a fast and hard flurry of spanks. I did manage to breathe through them and stay in place, but was very glad when they stopped.
FLOGGER time!! Master remarked that we ended the year with a flogging and are starting the new year with one...that is one tradition i intend on keeping. The feel of that leather all over my back and bottom, the THUDS, the dragging of the leather strips up and down my body, between my legs, the harder landings that seem to push out any stress that might still be lingering....have i mentioned that i love Master's flogger! Master ended with 20 much harder ones, my back and bottom were nice and warm and tingly.
Master then tells me to get my bottom high over the back of the couch. I hate that position, and always wait to be told at least twice, but i took a deep breath and walked over and got into position. Master reminded me to keep my legs open, and i complied. Master had a large strap in His hands. I managed to stay in position during the strapping even the last 20 much harder ones. Yes, i did have those elusive tears in my eyes, but there was no sobbing.
When i get up there is a big hug waiting for me, with lots of praise.
Master then has me get back in kneeling position where He reaches in and brings me to the brink of orgasm. He reminds me to stay in position, as He continues, and has me asking for permission to cum. It is granted, and i am soon lost in all the sensations, as i cum for my Master. Master immediately pulls me between His legs and is rubbing and cuddling and bringing me back to earth. Master is speaking softly to me, telling me how proud He is that i stayed in postion and kept myself open to Him, how much my submission pleases Him.
I then asked for permission for an errand i wanted to run, took a deep breath and asked for permission to go to Boston to do some babysitting in a couple of weeks. Asking for permission for my trips to see family is something i have been avoiding. Not because Master would ever just randomly say no...He knows how important they are to me, and is always generous with any permissions....but it was just something i did not want to let go of. Asking for permission always opens the door to a no. Master asked if i had already said yes, i honestly said that i had said i probably could. He did give me permission, and said next time i have to check would be a better answer. This was a big step for me, a step in submission and trust. After more hugs, i was off to run my errand.
A wonderful way to start the new year, with hopes of many more wonderful times to come. Thank you Master for leaving me feeling submissive, safe, cared for, and satisfied. My submission to You is the road to being "me", to a special place and feelings i never imagined possible.
abby
Only it started out with a misstep. Master emailed me early this morning, to remind me to start on the wii and that i needed to report my weigh in. I read the text and did both. Later Master calls and asks if there is a problem...He has been waiting for me. I had not read the whole text...big OOPS! I quickly apologized and went to Him.
The oops was forgiven, but with a warning i should check my messages more carefully. We hugged and chatted, Master was pleased with my New Year's note and with my last blog post on obedience/submission. He pointed out how far i have come, places where i have definately improved recently, and how He looks forward to this year.
Then it was kneeling time where He claimed all parts of me, and i never even flinched..even with pinching and pulling of my so sensitive nipples. A wonderfully relaxing long hand spanking mixed in with lots of rubbing was next on the agenda. I was soo relaxed. Then Master said, "reach over and hand me to bath brush". Not words i enjoy hearing. Without hesitation, i reached over and gave it to Him. I could feel His smile as He commented, good job, very submissive, no hesitation.
He started off slowly, built slowly, and i was still somewhat relaxed.
Mater then asked if i wanted my first maintenance for the year, now or after my flogging. I opted for now, and He reminded me that i am to ask for maintenance. I did, and that darn bath brush was heating up my bottom with harder spanks. Master had me tell Him why we have maintenance...to keep me on track, to keep my "voices" quiet, to help to avoid a major punishment session. Then without warning a fast and hard flurry of spanks. I did manage to breathe through them and stay in place, but was very glad when they stopped.
FLOGGER time!! Master remarked that we ended the year with a flogging and are starting the new year with one...that is one tradition i intend on keeping. The feel of that leather all over my back and bottom, the THUDS, the dragging of the leather strips up and down my body, between my legs, the harder landings that seem to push out any stress that might still be lingering....have i mentioned that i love Master's flogger! Master ended with 20 much harder ones, my back and bottom were nice and warm and tingly.
Master then tells me to get my bottom high over the back of the couch. I hate that position, and always wait to be told at least twice, but i took a deep breath and walked over and got into position. Master reminded me to keep my legs open, and i complied. Master had a large strap in His hands. I managed to stay in position during the strapping even the last 20 much harder ones. Yes, i did have those elusive tears in my eyes, but there was no sobbing.
When i get up there is a big hug waiting for me, with lots of praise.
Master then has me get back in kneeling position where He reaches in and brings me to the brink of orgasm. He reminds me to stay in position, as He continues, and has me asking for permission to cum. It is granted, and i am soon lost in all the sensations, as i cum for my Master. Master immediately pulls me between His legs and is rubbing and cuddling and bringing me back to earth. Master is speaking softly to me, telling me how proud He is that i stayed in postion and kept myself open to Him, how much my submission pleases Him.
I then asked for permission for an errand i wanted to run, took a deep breath and asked for permission to go to Boston to do some babysitting in a couple of weeks. Asking for permission for my trips to see family is something i have been avoiding. Not because Master would ever just randomly say no...He knows how important they are to me, and is always generous with any permissions....but it was just something i did not want to let go of. Asking for permission always opens the door to a no. Master asked if i had already said yes, i honestly said that i had said i probably could. He did give me permission, and said next time i have to check would be a better answer. This was a big step for me, a step in submission and trust. After more hugs, i was off to run my errand.
A wonderful way to start the new year, with hopes of many more wonderful times to come. Thank you Master for leaving me feeling submissive, safe, cared for, and satisfied. My submission to You is the road to being "me", to a special place and feelings i never imagined possible.
abby
Sunday, January 2, 2011
obedience/submission
I gave up on making New Year's resollution years ago. It was too discouraging and left me feeling bad. Now I think more in terms of goals, only with Master a voiced goal is more solid than a resolution. On New Year's eve i sent Master a long note looking back on this wonderful year, and what i hope for in the coming year. I listed a few goals, mostly having to do with being more open and letting go.
This morning a blog i was reading mentioned the difference between obedience and submission. I have been thinking about those two words all day.
Obedience is of course a part of submission, but submission, to me, goes deeper than obedience.
I feel i am usually obedient. But, not always in a submissive way. I am e xpected to send Master an email every night. It started out as a food diary, but now includes other items as well as details aboout my day that He does not already know about. I do send the report every night, but not always submissively. When i am feeling "uneasy" or my "voices" have been hounding me, or i am just doubting myself, the report reflects that. I might omit the heading He prefers, i omit to mention what happened during my day, i just send a food diary nothing else. Obedient, but not submissive.
I am also supposed to do a daily task for Master. It is my choice, and can last only a couple minutes. Usually i do some kneeling time, sometimes a no panty day, sometimes i find something He would enjoy and email it to Him. Occasionally, when i am having an off day, my task is to lie in bed thinking of Him...not all that submissive.
I guess i am following the intent, but not the spirit of the law...or rule. There are other examples also. So, my new and only goal for this year, is to be more submissive, not just obedient. It is my submission He seeks, not just my obedience....
abby
This morning a blog i was reading mentioned the difference between obedience and submission. I have been thinking about those two words all day.
Obedience is of course a part of submission, but submission, to me, goes deeper than obedience.
I feel i am usually obedient. But, not always in a submissive way. I am e xpected to send Master an email every night. It started out as a food diary, but now includes other items as well as details aboout my day that He does not already know about. I do send the report every night, but not always submissively. When i am feeling "uneasy" or my "voices" have been hounding me, or i am just doubting myself, the report reflects that. I might omit the heading He prefers, i omit to mention what happened during my day, i just send a food diary nothing else. Obedient, but not submissive.
I am also supposed to do a daily task for Master. It is my choice, and can last only a couple minutes. Usually i do some kneeling time, sometimes a no panty day, sometimes i find something He would enjoy and email it to Him. Occasionally, when i am having an off day, my task is to lie in bed thinking of Him...not all that submissive.
I guess i am following the intent, but not the spirit of the law...or rule. There are other examples also. So, my new and only goal for this year, is to be more submissive, not just obedient. It is my submission He seeks, not just my obedience....
abby
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