Sunday, October 24, 2010
life update
I know it has been a while, but life...as it is prone to do....has thrown me a curve ball. On the last day of my recent babysitting, i got a call that my dad had a heart attack. Instead of returning home, i traveled to Maine. That was a week ago. It has been a week of a couple good days, some not so good, and of discouraging news. Dad is not doing well, and i will be staying with my mom to help her for a bit. Not sure when i will get back here....i will galdly accept any prayers or positive thoughts that are sent my way....abby
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Morning maintenance
Today was maintenance day for this week. We started maintenance about 7 months ago. Master has been very consistent with the once a week goal, determined it will happen. For me, it has been a big help in keeping me focused, has helped to decrease the punishment sessions, and for the most part quieted those nasty little voices that lead to trouble.
I was a little concerned about today's spanking. I was just punished on Tuesday and although my bottom usually recovers quite quickly it was still tender, my thighs still welted and sore. Also since i had lunch plans with friends..and that usually means at least a 2 hour lunch, and Master is still working on that roofing project, He decided we would meet early. I am not..have never been..will never be..a morning person!
We met around 8:15... yes early, but manageable...as if i had a choice..lol. We again started off with my kneeling for Him, and He concentrated His hands on my breast. There was a time, when as soon as i saw Him heading for my breast my hands would fly to try and stop Him. (once again,,as if i had a choice!) Now i stay in position, and just try to go with the sensations, and i am sometimes successful. I was successful this morning.
Then it was over His lap for a nice long hand warm-up. He kindly supplied lots of rubbing between sets, and i was soon getting to the "jello" stage. (Rubbing my thighs was not quite so relaxing, they were still sore!) Out came the maintenance paddle. He started off lightly and built up all the while keeping me in the moment with questions.
The sting and heat seemed to be building more quickly than normal, and i was soon starting to breathe deeply and squirm a little. After 2 sets, i felt Him grab me around the waist and tuck me in. That is the signal, that He is about it "rev" things up. Master is on the belief spankings should hurt, and maintenance in order to be a deterrant, should be remembered for a while.
Then came the "check", to see how wet i was. I think "sloshing" was the word He used. He started slowly circling my clit....til i was really squirming and panting, and He had my full attention. As He, became more insistent i was soon, saying Master? Hoping to hear "cum for me, sweetie", and boy did i! Once again more than once. When i finally could breathe and talk again, i commented that lately my orgasms seem to have become more intense! He chuckled and said....of course...like it was His plan or something...
I am leaving tomorrow for 10 days, of more baby sitting. Master said that if i return having been a good girl...meaning followed all my rules, and did not gain any weigth, we could have a long session with His wonderful flogger and He would see to it that i was totally spent and really like "jello". He is good at both deterrants and motivation! Of course, if i am not good, we will still have a long session, only wood will be the main focus...YUCK!
abby
I was a little concerned about today's spanking. I was just punished on Tuesday and although my bottom usually recovers quite quickly it was still tender, my thighs still welted and sore. Also since i had lunch plans with friends..and that usually means at least a 2 hour lunch, and Master is still working on that roofing project, He decided we would meet early. I am not..have never been..will never be..a morning person!
We met around 8:15... yes early, but manageable...as if i had a choice..lol. We again started off with my kneeling for Him, and He concentrated His hands on my breast. There was a time, when as soon as i saw Him heading for my breast my hands would fly to try and stop Him. (once again,,as if i had a choice!) Now i stay in position, and just try to go with the sensations, and i am sometimes successful. I was successful this morning.
Then it was over His lap for a nice long hand warm-up. He kindly supplied lots of rubbing between sets, and i was soon getting to the "jello" stage. (Rubbing my thighs was not quite so relaxing, they were still sore!) Out came the maintenance paddle. He started off lightly and built up all the while keeping me in the moment with questions.
The sting and heat seemed to be building more quickly than normal, and i was soon starting to breathe deeply and squirm a little. After 2 sets, i felt Him grab me around the waist and tuck me in. That is the signal, that He is about it "rev" things up. Master is on the belief spankings should hurt, and maintenance in order to be a deterrant, should be remembered for a while.
Then came the "check", to see how wet i was. I think "sloshing" was the word He used. He started slowly circling my clit....til i was really squirming and panting, and He had my full attention. As He, became more insistent i was soon, saying Master? Hoping to hear "cum for me, sweetie", and boy did i! Once again more than once. When i finally could breathe and talk again, i commented that lately my orgasms seem to have become more intense! He chuckled and said....of course...like it was His plan or something...
I am leaving tomorrow for 10 days, of more baby sitting. Master said that if i return having been a good girl...meaning followed all my rules, and did not gain any weigth, we could have a long session with His wonderful flogger and He would see to it that i was totally spent and really like "jello". He is good at both deterrants and motivation! Of course, if i am not good, we will still have a long session, only wood will be the main focus...YUCK!
abby
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
capital P
Master automatically gets a copy of my postings on this blog. I had thought about blogging, but Master is the one that got me actually doing it. He offered to not read what i post, if i wanted a private place to write. It was my choice to have the entries sent to Him, hoping it would help me be more open with Him, and communicate better. I was tempted to not send yesterday's post, but i did, and i am glad that i did.
Master and i got together this afternoon. I knew He was not all that happy with me. My weigh-in was a gain..although a little less than 1 pound, over a long weekend, and with my grand-daughter here...none of which He considers acceptable excuses. I had started to communicate less over the weekend, and i was letting those darn little voices get the best of me.
It was one of those, i know what i need, i just don't want it today, feelings. He greeted me with "in a funk, are you?" I said you read my blog....He replied He knew before He read it. I was more than a little worried about what he had in mind. I never know exactly what He is planning ahead of time.
I should have known and trusted, He knew exactly what i needed. First some kneeling time, during which He reminded me that i am His submissive 24/7, even when i am entertaining a grandchild, or am away from home. He allows me certain "freedoms", but i need to remember that i am always His submissive. During this time, He is rubbing, massaging and re-claiming every part of my body. He reminds me that feeling needy is not a bad thing, it is ok with Him that i need Him. I expalain that i hate to be whiny, and He points out they are not the same. He is here for me.
Then it was over His lap, for a long hand warm-up. I was relaxing into it, and thinking...hmm..maybe this will be a "nice" session. Then he shows me a paint stick, i had never been spanked with a paint stick. To be honest, it was a little like "tapping" my bottom. Even Master chuckled a little at my non-reaction. So He went back to His hand...much more effective. He concentrated on one spot for a very long time, til i was really squirming, then He asked, what happens here? (same spot, next "cheek"). "The same", i asnwered, He is very symmetrical. After both sides had received their equal treatment, He put a swat on my thighs. I HATE being spanked on my thighs, and reacted by putting my legs up. I got a warning, they stay down or we start over. I thought, so this is the punishment part.
I hear Him say, enough of a warm-up. Warm-up?? I thought we were done. He told me to put my hands on the seat of the chair, bottom up. I hear Him taking off his belt. He asks me why He is taking off His belt, instead of moving on to something more enjoyable. I reply, because i gained..even though it was less than 1 pound. I am reminded, gaining is not an option, He does not give up, and does not allow me to give up. I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but it was a lot, and i was struggling to stay in place. He was not going easy on me, no rubbing, no rests, no kind words, just punishment.
Finally, He says i may get up. I ask if i may get dressed, the answer is no...i may go over to the back of the chair, and lean into the chair, feet way off the ground, head on the seat. I wait, He repeats what He wants, with a warning, that He does not like to repeat Himself. It is an uncomfortable, revealing, and a new position for me.
Worst, i quickly realize that my thighs are once again His target. After 2 swats i stand up...something i have not done in a long time. I am told to get back in position, with a warning, He will start over. Two more swats and i am out of position again..complaining that it hurts...DUH! He says He is starting over, and at this rate, I will get many more than He planned. I get back in position, and get maybe 10 more..before i am pleading that it is enough. He does stop, and has me get up, to get a hug.
Punishment used to be a much bigger part of our dynamic than it is now. They were also much harsher. I think we both were "testing". It has been a while since Master has felt the need to Punish me...notice the capital P. It was what i needed today, i am once again focused on what is important, those pesky little voices have been banished, and my bottom and thighs are telling me...enough sitting!
Since i am leaving Friday for another babysitting stint, we will be meeting Thursday for maintenance...on a still tender bottom.
abby
Master and i got together this afternoon. I knew He was not all that happy with me. My weigh-in was a gain..although a little less than 1 pound, over a long weekend, and with my grand-daughter here...none of which He considers acceptable excuses. I had started to communicate less over the weekend, and i was letting those darn little voices get the best of me.
It was one of those, i know what i need, i just don't want it today, feelings. He greeted me with "in a funk, are you?" I said you read my blog....He replied He knew before He read it. I was more than a little worried about what he had in mind. I never know exactly what He is planning ahead of time.
I should have known and trusted, He knew exactly what i needed. First some kneeling time, during which He reminded me that i am His submissive 24/7, even when i am entertaining a grandchild, or am away from home. He allows me certain "freedoms", but i need to remember that i am always His submissive. During this time, He is rubbing, massaging and re-claiming every part of my body. He reminds me that feeling needy is not a bad thing, it is ok with Him that i need Him. I expalain that i hate to be whiny, and He points out they are not the same. He is here for me.
Then it was over His lap, for a long hand warm-up. I was relaxing into it, and thinking...hmm..maybe this will be a "nice" session. Then he shows me a paint stick, i had never been spanked with a paint stick. To be honest, it was a little like "tapping" my bottom. Even Master chuckled a little at my non-reaction. So He went back to His hand...much more effective. He concentrated on one spot for a very long time, til i was really squirming, then He asked, what happens here? (same spot, next "cheek"). "The same", i asnwered, He is very symmetrical. After both sides had received their equal treatment, He put a swat on my thighs. I HATE being spanked on my thighs, and reacted by putting my legs up. I got a warning, they stay down or we start over. I thought, so this is the punishment part.
I hear Him say, enough of a warm-up. Warm-up?? I thought we were done. He told me to put my hands on the seat of the chair, bottom up. I hear Him taking off his belt. He asks me why He is taking off His belt, instead of moving on to something more enjoyable. I reply, because i gained..even though it was less than 1 pound. I am reminded, gaining is not an option, He does not give up, and does not allow me to give up. I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but it was a lot, and i was struggling to stay in place. He was not going easy on me, no rubbing, no rests, no kind words, just punishment.
Finally, He says i may get up. I ask if i may get dressed, the answer is no...i may go over to the back of the chair, and lean into the chair, feet way off the ground, head on the seat. I wait, He repeats what He wants, with a warning, that He does not like to repeat Himself. It is an uncomfortable, revealing, and a new position for me.
Worst, i quickly realize that my thighs are once again His target. After 2 swats i stand up...something i have not done in a long time. I am told to get back in position, with a warning, He will start over. Two more swats and i am out of position again..complaining that it hurts...DUH! He says He is starting over, and at this rate, I will get many more than He planned. I get back in position, and get maybe 10 more..before i am pleading that it is enough. He does stop, and has me get up, to get a hug.
Punishment used to be a much bigger part of our dynamic than it is now. They were also much harsher. I think we both were "testing". It has been a while since Master has felt the need to Punish me...notice the capital P. It was what i needed today, i am once again focused on what is important, those pesky little voices have been banished, and my bottom and thighs are telling me...enough sitting!
Since i am leaving Friday for another babysitting stint, we will be meeting Thursday for maintenance...on a still tender bottom.
abby
Monday, October 4, 2010
What was I thinking????
My granddaughter left this morning..she is one of those 2 year olds who is wise beyond her years and has a wonderful sense of humor......and does not believe in naps! It was a wonderful visit..grandchildren are purely for enjoying and so much fun!
I know i said i would post a part 2...what makes a "true" submissive. As i thought about it today..all i could think of is...what was i thinking? I am a newbie here in blog world, and have always and still believe that submission is to be defined by the 2 people involved (yes sometimes more than 2). Who am i to be expounding on what a true submissive is?
Plus i have been in a "funk" of a mood today...those of you who are close to my age will know what that means. Maybe its because Master has been busy with a roofing project, and our communication has been limited to a very few text messages. Maybe its because it was Monday, and a rainy one at that. Maybe it is because i am off for another 10 day babysitting stint this weekend, i need some time home!
Probably it is some of all the above.
Plus it seems those little "voices" that sometimes take residence in my head are fighting to return. I have been good at ignoring and banishing them for the past few months, but they just don't want to give up, and they usually lead me right to trouble!
Hope you all had a better day than i did!
abby
I know i said i would post a part 2...what makes a "true" submissive. As i thought about it today..all i could think of is...what was i thinking? I am a newbie here in blog world, and have always and still believe that submission is to be defined by the 2 people involved (yes sometimes more than 2). Who am i to be expounding on what a true submissive is?
Plus i have been in a "funk" of a mood today...those of you who are close to my age will know what that means. Maybe its because Master has been busy with a roofing project, and our communication has been limited to a very few text messages. Maybe its because it was Monday, and a rainy one at that. Maybe it is because i am off for another 10 day babysitting stint this weekend, i need some time home!
Probably it is some of all the above.
Plus it seems those little "voices" that sometimes take residence in my head are fighting to return. I have been good at ignoring and banishing them for the past few months, but they just don't want to give up, and they usually lead me right to trouble!
Hope you all had a better day than i did!
abby
Friday, October 1, 2010
thoughts on submission
I just spent a very full day at the zoo, 2 playgrounds, a tea party, playing kick ball, and answering a multitude of questions..all with the most charming 2 year old! I did manage to tire her out...Hurrah for grandma!
I have been catching up on my blog reading. As often happens, some of the topics pricked at my brain, and caused me to stop and think. I decided to do some of that thinking here.
The questions that piqued my interest were...what is a true submissive...and how does one become a true submissive?
I am going to do a post on each one, since i need to match energy and wits with that 2 year old again tomorrow, so i need an early bedtime also.
What is a true submissive? Probably about a year ago, i greeted Master with the question, do You really think i am submissive? I caught Him by surprise, and He started to chuckle, then He realized i was serious. He proceeded to list all the reasons why i was, and after we talked it out, there was a long session where he made my doubts disappear.
I have no definition for a "true submissive", or even for a submissive. As most of you have seen me write before, there is no 1 definition that fits all....not for submissive, slave, Master, top , bottom...any label in this lifestyle. I do think that submission comes from inside of a person, as does domminance. I don't think you can train someone to be a Dominant...yes you can teach a person how to spank, how to use the various implements, how to practice bondage, etc...but dominance is more than that. It is something that is built in, something that is lived every day, almost like an aura. Dominance, of another person, is a lot of work and commitment. It is not just some spanking fun.
What about the other side of the dominance coin...submission? Can you train someone to be submissive? I think maybe you can...at least for a while. But "true" submission, comes from inside a person. I don't have a clue how to define a submissive. For me, it is a need deep inside of me, that for a long time, was not even evident to me. Once that need was allowed to surface, and started to be fed, it grew, and continues to grow.
I have a fairly good idea of what a submissive is not.
A submissive is not a doormat.
A submissvie is not a "slave in training".
A submissive is not just someone who enjoys getting spanked.
A submissive cannot be submissive to her/himself.
A submissive is not just someone what wants to be relieved of all responsibilities.
For me, a submissive, has a need, an urge to serve and please. A submissive wants to cede control to another and is willing to submit to discipline. A submissive feels complete when she has served her Master well. To a lucky few, submission is a way of life that brings happyness and peace.
My eyes are closing, my bed is calling me. What is a true submissive...that is probably different for everyone. Maybe the best answer is,,,whatever her Master wants her to be.
I would be interested in seeing other definitions to the word submissive.
abby
I have been catching up on my blog reading. As often happens, some of the topics pricked at my brain, and caused me to stop and think. I decided to do some of that thinking here.
The questions that piqued my interest were...what is a true submissive...and how does one become a true submissive?
I am going to do a post on each one, since i need to match energy and wits with that 2 year old again tomorrow, so i need an early bedtime also.
What is a true submissive? Probably about a year ago, i greeted Master with the question, do You really think i am submissive? I caught Him by surprise, and He started to chuckle, then He realized i was serious. He proceeded to list all the reasons why i was, and after we talked it out, there was a long session where he made my doubts disappear.
I have no definition for a "true submissive", or even for a submissive. As most of you have seen me write before, there is no 1 definition that fits all....not for submissive, slave, Master, top , bottom...any label in this lifestyle. I do think that submission comes from inside of a person, as does domminance. I don't think you can train someone to be a Dominant...yes you can teach a person how to spank, how to use the various implements, how to practice bondage, etc...but dominance is more than that. It is something that is built in, something that is lived every day, almost like an aura. Dominance, of another person, is a lot of work and commitment. It is not just some spanking fun.
What about the other side of the dominance coin...submission? Can you train someone to be submissive? I think maybe you can...at least for a while. But "true" submission, comes from inside a person. I don't have a clue how to define a submissive. For me, it is a need deep inside of me, that for a long time, was not even evident to me. Once that need was allowed to surface, and started to be fed, it grew, and continues to grow.
I have a fairly good idea of what a submissive is not.
A submissive is not a doormat.
A submissvie is not a "slave in training".
A submissive is not just someone who enjoys getting spanked.
A submissive cannot be submissive to her/himself.
A submissive is not just someone what wants to be relieved of all responsibilities.
For me, a submissive, has a need, an urge to serve and please. A submissive wants to cede control to another and is willing to submit to discipline. A submissive feels complete when she has served her Master well. To a lucky few, submission is a way of life that brings happyness and peace.
My eyes are closing, my bed is calling me. What is a true submissive...that is probably different for everyone. Maybe the best answer is,,,whatever her Master wants her to be.
I would be interested in seeing other definitions to the word submissive.
abby
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Maintenance day
Today was my maintenance spanking for this week. It's a little early in the week, but Master and i have different plans for the end of the week. Master will be re-roofing a house...lucky Him..and i will be enjoying a visit from my oldest grand-daughter..she is almost 21/2 and very vocal! I will be having tea parties, playing dress-up, going to the zoo and park...lucky me!
I believe that all things in life have an ebb and flow. Lately my submission to Master has been in the flow zone. I have been so aware of my submission, and pleasing Him has been my top priority,..yes maybe it should always be like that, but sometimes i just feel it so much more.
Back to today, after we chatted a bit i noticed the small paddle and the large strap...pretty standard maintenance "toys". As i layed across Master's lap He started with a fairly long..very nice hand warm-up. We often talk during this time, and today we talked about consistency. Master brought it up, said He noticed in some blogs that it seems to be what a lot of submissives are looking for. I wanted to say DUH..but i was laying across His lap. Consistency is something Master is very very good at. Sometimes i have doubts that He will follow through, but most of the time, He does. We started maintenance spankings about 7 months ago...and at first i wondered how long it would last...yes i doubted. But, unless one of us..usually me...is out of town for the whole week, He finds a way to make maintenance happen, every single week. Thank You Master!
Back to today, hand warm-up, starting over clothes, and progressing to my bare bottom. Lots of good rubbing, and a fabulous back massage thrown in...i was soooooo relaxed. Then He asked me to hand Him the paddle. I would rather He just pick it up, but i said Yes Sir and handed it over. As he started in with the paddle, He is telling me how good i have been, but a maintenace spanking has to be felt to be effective....not like a punishment spanking....but so it is a deterrent to a punishment spanking. His hand goes around my waist as He tucks me in...i know He is now going to start in harder.
He gives me two sets of hard spanks. I have no idea how many, He always counts...needs to have both sides even..lol. I used to try to count, but i never get far. A short break between sets with a little rubbing. I am starting to really squirm, just as he ends the second set.
Then i feel His fingers start to explore. In less than a minute i am about ready to explode. He knows my body so well. When i first met Master, i had resigned myself to the fact that sex was a thing of the past for me. I no longer even felt like a sexual person. I never expected that to change. But it has, Master can get me wet and ready almost by just talking to me, and most of the time, one orgasm is just the start. This afternoon was like one extra long orgasm, that truly left me spent and breathless. I am always so ready for Him...
The strap remained unused, i was so relaxed and Master decided it was not to be used. It was a great maintenance day!
abby
I believe that all things in life have an ebb and flow. Lately my submission to Master has been in the flow zone. I have been so aware of my submission, and pleasing Him has been my top priority,..yes maybe it should always be like that, but sometimes i just feel it so much more.
Back to today, after we chatted a bit i noticed the small paddle and the large strap...pretty standard maintenance "toys". As i layed across Master's lap He started with a fairly long..very nice hand warm-up. We often talk during this time, and today we talked about consistency. Master brought it up, said He noticed in some blogs that it seems to be what a lot of submissives are looking for. I wanted to say DUH..but i was laying across His lap. Consistency is something Master is very very good at. Sometimes i have doubts that He will follow through, but most of the time, He does. We started maintenance spankings about 7 months ago...and at first i wondered how long it would last...yes i doubted. But, unless one of us..usually me...is out of town for the whole week, He finds a way to make maintenance happen, every single week. Thank You Master!
Back to today, hand warm-up, starting over clothes, and progressing to my bare bottom. Lots of good rubbing, and a fabulous back massage thrown in...i was soooooo relaxed. Then He asked me to hand Him the paddle. I would rather He just pick it up, but i said Yes Sir and handed it over. As he started in with the paddle, He is telling me how good i have been, but a maintenace spanking has to be felt to be effective....not like a punishment spanking....but so it is a deterrent to a punishment spanking. His hand goes around my waist as He tucks me in...i know He is now going to start in harder.
He gives me two sets of hard spanks. I have no idea how many, He always counts...needs to have both sides even..lol. I used to try to count, but i never get far. A short break between sets with a little rubbing. I am starting to really squirm, just as he ends the second set.
Then i feel His fingers start to explore. In less than a minute i am about ready to explode. He knows my body so well. When i first met Master, i had resigned myself to the fact that sex was a thing of the past for me. I no longer even felt like a sexual person. I never expected that to change. But it has, Master can get me wet and ready almost by just talking to me, and most of the time, one orgasm is just the start. This afternoon was like one extra long orgasm, that truly left me spent and breathless. I am always so ready for Him...
The strap remained unused, i was so relaxed and Master decided it was not to be used. It was a great maintenance day!
abby
Monday, September 27, 2010
incentive from Master!
Fridays and Mondays are my weigh-in days. When we first started on this weight loss challenge ( it sure is a big challenge!) i weighed in once a week. I also sent Master a food journal every day, still do. Knowing that i had to admit to what i ate, was quite a deterrant...usually. Master noticed that weekends were when i splurged, so we went to 2 weigh-ins a week. Lately i have been asking to go back to 1, but my answer is "nope" with that look that says it is not open to discussion.
This morning when i weighed in i loss 1.5 pounds...that is huge for a weekend! I could not wait to give Master my report. When we talking, He noticed my mood, and remarked looks like I am going to hear a good report...i keep forgetting how transparent i am to Him. He was very pleased.
I am currently working on a 10 pound goal. I have 6.5 to go. Master then said that if i reach the goal by Thanksgiving...and stay there!...He will give me a 5 pound "wriggle room". FIVE whole pounds, good for the holidays! Usually if a go away, or there is a special occasion i am expected to at the very least stay the same, very occasionlly He say, stay within 2 pounds....never 5!
I am determined to take advantage of His generosity!
abby
This morning when i weighed in i loss 1.5 pounds...that is huge for a weekend! I could not wait to give Master my report. When we talking, He noticed my mood, and remarked looks like I am going to hear a good report...i keep forgetting how transparent i am to Him. He was very pleased.
I am currently working on a 10 pound goal. I have 6.5 to go. Master then said that if i reach the goal by Thanksgiving...and stay there!...He will give me a 5 pound "wriggle room". FIVE whole pounds, good for the holidays! Usually if a go away, or there is a special occasion i am expected to at the very least stay the same, very occasionlly He say, stay within 2 pounds....never 5!
I am determined to take advantage of His generosity!
abby
Sunday, September 26, 2010
is it fair??
The word "fair" has been bouncing around in my head lately. Such a simple word, but how does one define fair?
Seems to be one of those words where the definition depends on the user.
Some might say that fair means equal. Does that mean that a power exchange relationship is never fair, because it cerainly is not equal. Does the word fair even belong in such a relationship? Most of the people that I associate with every day..if they knew the ins and outs of my relationship with Master...would say , "How unfair!"
Strangely, i guess, i have never considered Him to be unfair. When i am punished i know why, and i can always ask to talk about the punishment ahead of time. It rarely changes anything, but i feel better for having talked it out with Him. He is generous with permissions as long as i ask politely and respectfully. In fact i am usually very surprised when i hear a no to my request.
From my past experiences, and from what i have observed, i think that "fairness" is the root cause of many arguments.
"It's not fair!....HE/she is not being fair!" Master and i have not had a screaming, foot stomping argument...i can only imagine His reaction to that! But i think part of the reason is because fair does not enter into our equation.
I trust Him, i respect Him, i know He wants me to be the best me i can be. He knows how to calm me, make me feel secure, He can see right through me. He has helped me to find "myself", to accept "me". He has made fantasies happen, and even gone beyond what i could have imagined.
So who needs fair????????????????
abby
Seems to be one of those words where the definition depends on the user.
Some might say that fair means equal. Does that mean that a power exchange relationship is never fair, because it cerainly is not equal. Does the word fair even belong in such a relationship? Most of the people that I associate with every day..if they knew the ins and outs of my relationship with Master...would say , "How unfair!"
Strangely, i guess, i have never considered Him to be unfair. When i am punished i know why, and i can always ask to talk about the punishment ahead of time. It rarely changes anything, but i feel better for having talked it out with Him. He is generous with permissions as long as i ask politely and respectfully. In fact i am usually very surprised when i hear a no to my request.
From my past experiences, and from what i have observed, i think that "fairness" is the root cause of many arguments.
"It's not fair!....HE/she is not being fair!" Master and i have not had a screaming, foot stomping argument...i can only imagine His reaction to that! But i think part of the reason is because fair does not enter into our equation.
I trust Him, i respect Him, i know He wants me to be the best me i can be. He knows how to calm me, make me feel secure, He can see right through me. He has helped me to find "myself", to accept "me". He has made fantasies happen, and even gone beyond what i could have imagined.
So who needs fair????????????????
abby
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
finally home again!
I finally returned home last night. I was away a little longer than i had planned..almost 3 weeks. My grand-daughter got taller before my eyes, and is learning new words every day! My mom, my sister and I went on our girl's trip to the casino. We all came back poorer, but shared a great time, laughing til we cried ( and almost wet ourselves) several times! So lots of good times, but it was a long time to be away.
It's the longest I have been away from Master since i became His. We both agree it was too long. I know i am His no matter where i am, but keeping focused is harder when we are apart.
Finally, this afternoon, I got my big welcome back hug from Master! It felt sooooo good. I was quickly kneeling before Him, listening to His voice, feeling His hands reclaim every part of me, relishing in the feeling that i was back where I belong.
Then it was over His knee, for a wonderful hand warm-up. His hand is my favorite spanking "toy". It can build in quite a burn, but I certainly can relax into it. We usually are chatting during this time, getting caught up on our news and plans. Besides, spanking, Master's hands give the BEST back rubs. When He starts with the massaging, I just breathe deeply, and totally relax and enjoy.
He then told me to hand Him the small paddle, that is usually used for maintenance. He was not spanking as hard as He usually does, but I was squirming and ouching. Seems that 3 weeks without a spanking makes my bottom more vulnerable.
We talked about how I managed my diet while I was away.
I had good news/bad news for Him. When I used the wii this morning, I weighed in and had actually loss .02 of a pound...not much, but a whole lot better than gaining! He was very proud of me. I then mumbled the bad news, I had ice cream, without asking for permission first. He heard it, and I could feel His disappointment before He even spoke to me. I was hoping that since I confessed, He would say don't let it happen again, and forget it. Of course, that was not the case. He tucked me into Him, and let that little paddle fly for 100 hard spanks. He repeated that ice cream was a problem for me...I could eat it every day, and not just a spoonful...so the rule is I have to ask and receive permission before having some. No Exceptions!
Next I was bent over the sofa, in position for Master's large strap. He said He would start off lightly and build up. I love leather..and this strap is one of my favorites. Even as the swings got harder, I was so into it, it "hurt sooo good"! Master wanted me to concentrate on cumming for Him while He was strapping me, I have not quite mastered that yet, but with a little coaxing form His fingers, and more strapping, I was on my way to a wonderful release..or two!
Master gave me two permissions, which need to be used before bed tonite. I have used one, and will get to the other one soon. Thank You Master for a wonderful welcome back!
abby
It's the longest I have been away from Master since i became His. We both agree it was too long. I know i am His no matter where i am, but keeping focused is harder when we are apart.
Finally, this afternoon, I got my big welcome back hug from Master! It felt sooooo good. I was quickly kneeling before Him, listening to His voice, feeling His hands reclaim every part of me, relishing in the feeling that i was back where I belong.
Then it was over His knee, for a wonderful hand warm-up. His hand is my favorite spanking "toy". It can build in quite a burn, but I certainly can relax into it. We usually are chatting during this time, getting caught up on our news and plans. Besides, spanking, Master's hands give the BEST back rubs. When He starts with the massaging, I just breathe deeply, and totally relax and enjoy.
He then told me to hand Him the small paddle, that is usually used for maintenance. He was not spanking as hard as He usually does, but I was squirming and ouching. Seems that 3 weeks without a spanking makes my bottom more vulnerable.
We talked about how I managed my diet while I was away.
I had good news/bad news for Him. When I used the wii this morning, I weighed in and had actually loss .02 of a pound...not much, but a whole lot better than gaining! He was very proud of me. I then mumbled the bad news, I had ice cream, without asking for permission first. He heard it, and I could feel His disappointment before He even spoke to me. I was hoping that since I confessed, He would say don't let it happen again, and forget it. Of course, that was not the case. He tucked me into Him, and let that little paddle fly for 100 hard spanks. He repeated that ice cream was a problem for me...I could eat it every day, and not just a spoonful...so the rule is I have to ask and receive permission before having some. No Exceptions!
Next I was bent over the sofa, in position for Master's large strap. He said He would start off lightly and build up. I love leather..and this strap is one of my favorites. Even as the swings got harder, I was so into it, it "hurt sooo good"! Master wanted me to concentrate on cumming for Him while He was strapping me, I have not quite mastered that yet, but with a little coaxing form His fingers, and more strapping, I was on my way to a wonderful release..or two!
Master gave me two permissions, which need to be used before bed tonite. I have used one, and will get to the other one soon. Thank You Master for a wonderful welcome back!
abby
Saturday, September 11, 2010
a 1 year old does me in....
i have been thinking all week about posting another look back, to the day i became Master's submissive. I also have been babysitting my 1 year old grand-daughter all week...she has way more energy than i do. Of course she does get to nap every afternoon! I have been too tired to put together that post, so decided just to do a quick check in.
i have been away for over a week, and about 10 more days to go. One week is usually about what it takes for me to start really missing Master. Oh, i miss Him after one day, but after a week the voices in my head keep trying to start up...you know ..the ones that always lead to touble. We keep in touch several times a day, so hopefully i will return without being in too much trouble!
i am looking forward to an overnight casino outing with my mom and sister later this week. We always have lots of fun..win or lose...although winning is much more fun!
abby
i have been away for over a week, and about 10 more days to go. One week is usually about what it takes for me to start really missing Master. Oh, i miss Him after one day, but after a week the voices in my head keep trying to start up...you know ..the ones that always lead to touble. We keep in touch several times a day, so hopefully i will return without being in too much trouble!
i am looking forward to an overnight casino outing with my mom and sister later this week. We always have lots of fun..win or lose...although winning is much more fun!
abby
Saturday, September 4, 2010
having needs.....or being needy??
I am away from home helping my daughter-in-law and son out with some babysitting. I am happy to be able to help out. I will be here for about 10 days, and then my sister and i are taking my mom on her annual birthday gift from us..an overnight casino trip. I will not be back home for at least 2 weeks...which has led me to this post.
I have thought about this topic for a long time...and have even started to post on it a couple times... only to delete the post. I still don't have it all sorted out. I am not sure this will make sense to anyone. One thing i have learned about myself, is that writing something out helps me to sort it out and see it more clearly.
Everyone has needs. Some are basic and some are uniquely individual. Some get met and some do not. That is all a part of life. "Being needy", is something i have always seen as a weakness, something i would not allow in my life.
I graduated from high school many, many years ago. Women's lib was just starting to catch on, and although i never actually burned any of my bras, the movement did create a fire in me. I would be independent, in charge, in control, and i would have it all. (remember i was very young!)
For the most part i achieved the independent, in charge , in control part and lived it for a very long time. I had a teaching career that i was good at and loved, my classroom was never a democracy, i was "the queen", i trained student teachers, was in positions of leadership at school. I was in charge at home, many of my friends considered me a go-to person to help with problems. I achieved what i set out to do.
Then that all got turned around. I discovered that deep inside of me, was a submissive woman. It took a long time for that woman to accept that part of me. One of the things that i struggled with the most, was the feeling of neediness that i started to feel. Me...needy? How could that be?
But i could not shake it or make it go away..or ignore it. I always associated neediness with whining, and unpleasant behavior. Could i have been wrong? I struggled with the feeling and the questions that i had no answers for.
I have a couple times written to Master expressing this neediness. He has never seen it in the same light that i do, and always seems to know how to help me see it differently. Since we started weekly maintenance spankings, i seem to feel the neediness less.
Being away from Master is never easy, the longer i am away, the harder it becomes, the more "needy" i seem to get. Which is why i am thinking about all of this now, i guess. One of the questions that seems to be rolling about in my head the last couple days is wondering if feeling needy is one of the traits of a submissive? Is trying to eliminate my neediness the wrong way to deal with this? Maybe i should be channeling the neediness to help me become a better submissive?
abby...who does not have the answers to her questions..
I have thought about this topic for a long time...and have even started to post on it a couple times... only to delete the post. I still don't have it all sorted out. I am not sure this will make sense to anyone. One thing i have learned about myself, is that writing something out helps me to sort it out and see it more clearly.
Everyone has needs. Some are basic and some are uniquely individual. Some get met and some do not. That is all a part of life. "Being needy", is something i have always seen as a weakness, something i would not allow in my life.
I graduated from high school many, many years ago. Women's lib was just starting to catch on, and although i never actually burned any of my bras, the movement did create a fire in me. I would be independent, in charge, in control, and i would have it all. (remember i was very young!)
For the most part i achieved the independent, in charge , in control part and lived it for a very long time. I had a teaching career that i was good at and loved, my classroom was never a democracy, i was "the queen", i trained student teachers, was in positions of leadership at school. I was in charge at home, many of my friends considered me a go-to person to help with problems. I achieved what i set out to do.
Then that all got turned around. I discovered that deep inside of me, was a submissive woman. It took a long time for that woman to accept that part of me. One of the things that i struggled with the most, was the feeling of neediness that i started to feel. Me...needy? How could that be?
But i could not shake it or make it go away..or ignore it. I always associated neediness with whining, and unpleasant behavior. Could i have been wrong? I struggled with the feeling and the questions that i had no answers for.
I have a couple times written to Master expressing this neediness. He has never seen it in the same light that i do, and always seems to know how to help me see it differently. Since we started weekly maintenance spankings, i seem to feel the neediness less.
Being away from Master is never easy, the longer i am away, the harder it becomes, the more "needy" i seem to get. Which is why i am thinking about all of this now, i guess. One of the questions that seems to be rolling about in my head the last couple days is wondering if feeling needy is one of the traits of a submissive? Is trying to eliminate my neediness the wrong way to deal with this? Maybe i should be channeling the neediness to help me become a better submissive?
abby...who does not have the answers to her questions..
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
punishment.....
I missed the chance to post on the Thursday Round Table over at American Spanking Society. Can spanking be an effective punishment for someone who enjoys spanking? As i am sitting here on a sore, stripped bottom, my answer is YES!
Punishment is soo different than play. There is no hand warm-up, there is a scolding, Master is using something made of wood, there is no nice touching and there is the knowledge that i have disappointed Him. Punishment is not something i purposely "brat" for, if i feel the need to play hard, Master is glad to fill that need.
I have had a rough week on the diet front. Every now and then i start to feel...i don't want to do this anymore, i just want to eat whatever, whenever. My deal with Master is once i set a goal, i reach that goal. Once i have reached that goal, i can stay there as long as i want...but i have to maintain, no more than 2 pounds above that number. I recognize that as a good thing, nothing is more discouraging than gaining back what you worked so hard to lose, and often gaining more back..i have been that route. Right now i am working on a 10 pound goal, that i chose to pursue. It is not going well.
I weigh in on Friday's and Monday's...we tried just on Friday's, but that was like a green eating light for the weekend. Last Friday i gained 1 pound. Master was not pleased, but decided He would let me try to turn things around over the weekend. (He sometimes gives me just enough rope to hang myself.) He rarely grants me a reprieve, so i breathe a sigh of relief.
I did not take advantage of His gift. I did not wii, nor walk, and i did indulge..but just a little. Turned out it was a little bit too much. My Monday report was a gain..of less than a pound..but a gain. He was not pleased.
He said we would "discuss" it Tuesday or Wednesday. When we talked this morning, He said Wednesday, i was pleased since i had dinner plans with a group of teacher friends for this evening.
Late this afternoon, i get a call from Master, He decided we were going to meet before i went to dinner, which meant in about 5 minutes. I was not in punishment "mode", but i said yes Sir.
Once we were together, He opened the door to the basement. I gulped,....the basement is used when Master is very unhappy...being down there has no good memories. I looked at Him, He pointed, i went down the steps. I then had to answer why we were in the basement...because i had 2 bad reports in a row.
He starts with the scolding...He is an expert scolder. When i was still teaching, i used to wish i could invite him to my room when i had detention duty. Down came the pants and panties and i was leaning over the washing machine. He had what looked like a cane, with no hook, but very "swishy".
He spanks in sets, this was sets of 6, switching sides after each 6. It only took one set, before i was OUCHING loudly and stuggling to stay in place. My hands did let go, and was told to put them back and if i let go again, he began tapping my thighs, He would change His target. As much as my bottom was hurting, i knew that the OUCH factor would be much greater on my thighs, so i concentrated on hanging on to that edge.
After more scolding, He asked if i was ready for the last six. I love/hate that question...it means the end is near, but it also means these will be the hardest strokes. I said i am never ready, but go ahead. Then i was told to count and to thank Him after each stroke, and if He did not think i was being sincere in my thanks, that stroke would not count. (I have been known to be called the queen of sarcasm). Counting and having to say something after each stroke, is not something i look forward to. It takes concentration, and makes me focus on each stroke, plus you know that as soon as you have said, "Thank You Sir", sincerely, it is like saying..go ahead spank me again. I got through the six, and we were done. NO warm up, NO touching, NO nice rubbing, but yes pain and punishment.
He grinned as He told me to enjoy my dinner out, and was sure He would be with me in spirit, as i sat on my sore bottom. He was, i had a wonderful dinner, fun with my friends, and brought half of my dinner home to have tomorrow, and passed on the alcohol and dessert. Tomorrow it is back to my eating and exercising routine....basement visits are no fun.
abby
Punishment is soo different than play. There is no hand warm-up, there is a scolding, Master is using something made of wood, there is no nice touching and there is the knowledge that i have disappointed Him. Punishment is not something i purposely "brat" for, if i feel the need to play hard, Master is glad to fill that need.
I have had a rough week on the diet front. Every now and then i start to feel...i don't want to do this anymore, i just want to eat whatever, whenever. My deal with Master is once i set a goal, i reach that goal. Once i have reached that goal, i can stay there as long as i want...but i have to maintain, no more than 2 pounds above that number. I recognize that as a good thing, nothing is more discouraging than gaining back what you worked so hard to lose, and often gaining more back..i have been that route. Right now i am working on a 10 pound goal, that i chose to pursue. It is not going well.
I weigh in on Friday's and Monday's...we tried just on Friday's, but that was like a green eating light for the weekend. Last Friday i gained 1 pound. Master was not pleased, but decided He would let me try to turn things around over the weekend. (He sometimes gives me just enough rope to hang myself.) He rarely grants me a reprieve, so i breathe a sigh of relief.
I did not take advantage of His gift. I did not wii, nor walk, and i did indulge..but just a little. Turned out it was a little bit too much. My Monday report was a gain..of less than a pound..but a gain. He was not pleased.
He said we would "discuss" it Tuesday or Wednesday. When we talked this morning, He said Wednesday, i was pleased since i had dinner plans with a group of teacher friends for this evening.
Late this afternoon, i get a call from Master, He decided we were going to meet before i went to dinner, which meant in about 5 minutes. I was not in punishment "mode", but i said yes Sir.
Once we were together, He opened the door to the basement. I gulped,....the basement is used when Master is very unhappy...being down there has no good memories. I looked at Him, He pointed, i went down the steps. I then had to answer why we were in the basement...because i had 2 bad reports in a row.
He starts with the scolding...He is an expert scolder. When i was still teaching, i used to wish i could invite him to my room when i had detention duty. Down came the pants and panties and i was leaning over the washing machine. He had what looked like a cane, with no hook, but very "swishy".
He spanks in sets, this was sets of 6, switching sides after each 6. It only took one set, before i was OUCHING loudly and stuggling to stay in place. My hands did let go, and was told to put them back and if i let go again, he began tapping my thighs, He would change His target. As much as my bottom was hurting, i knew that the OUCH factor would be much greater on my thighs, so i concentrated on hanging on to that edge.
After more scolding, He asked if i was ready for the last six. I love/hate that question...it means the end is near, but it also means these will be the hardest strokes. I said i am never ready, but go ahead. Then i was told to count and to thank Him after each stroke, and if He did not think i was being sincere in my thanks, that stroke would not count. (I have been known to be called the queen of sarcasm). Counting and having to say something after each stroke, is not something i look forward to. It takes concentration, and makes me focus on each stroke, plus you know that as soon as you have said, "Thank You Sir", sincerely, it is like saying..go ahead spank me again. I got through the six, and we were done. NO warm up, NO touching, NO nice rubbing, but yes pain and punishment.
He grinned as He told me to enjoy my dinner out, and was sure He would be with me in spirit, as i sat on my sore bottom. He was, i had a wonderful dinner, fun with my friends, and brought half of my dinner home to have tomorrow, and passed on the alcohol and dessert. Tomorrow it is back to my eating and exercising routine....basement visits are no fun.
abby
Sunday, August 29, 2010
TBT.....a look back...who is more stubborn?? (first published July 17, 2010)
This is another look back to my journey with Master. This session took place before He was my Master, and had been spanking me for about 7/8 months. We were meeting every few weeks. I had only a couple rules at this point, one being to refer to Him as Sir while He was spanking me..which i was doing pretty well at...and one that i saw no point to..having to ask for permission to pull up my pants and panties after He was done spanking me.
We had just finished a fairly long session, using a variety of His toys. My bottom was nicely tingling and red.
I stood up, and started to put on my pants and panties. He said, you are forgetting something. I looked around and said, no, i have everything and finished with the clothing.
(After all, it was MY clothing, i was not going to go around bare assed all day, and He was done!)
"Ask", was all He said...i replied,.. too late they are on..(i know ..i look back now in wonder at what was i thinking!) Before i could take a breath i was back over the bed, and they were no longer on. His hand was spanking quickly and furiously. He let me up, and i looked Him in the eye and reached for the panties once again. Back over the bed i went for a repeat.
He stood me back up gave me the "one eyebrow" look, which i ignored as i reached for the panties. (Trust me i am not usually such a slow learner) He said,...it's your bottom..., to which i foolishly replied..."guess this is where we find out who is more stubborn!" Before i took another breath i was over the bed, He somehow had a paddle in His hand, and was using it on an already very sore bottom. "Let me know when you have decided who is more stubborn", He said.
Now i may be foolish, but am not stupid, i decided quickly that He was indeed more stubborn than i was. After i reassured Him that He was indeed more stubborn, i started to get up. He held me down and said ask to get up. I hesitated, which started the paddling again! I asked, to be told, "ask nicely". So i added a couple of pleases, and asked again as nicely as i knew how. I was able to get up, look over at Master, and say, "May i please put my panties and pants back on?" With a glint in His eye and smile on His face He said..certainly.
Looking back, it seems like such a small thing to ask me to do. I still ask every time, only without prompting.
I learned on that day, that i had been demoted to second most subborn person that i knew.
abby
We had just finished a fairly long session, using a variety of His toys. My bottom was nicely tingling and red.
I stood up, and started to put on my pants and panties. He said, you are forgetting something. I looked around and said, no, i have everything and finished with the clothing.
(After all, it was MY clothing, i was not going to go around bare assed all day, and He was done!)
"Ask", was all He said...i replied,.. too late they are on..(i know ..i look back now in wonder at what was i thinking!) Before i could take a breath i was back over the bed, and they were no longer on. His hand was spanking quickly and furiously. He let me up, and i looked Him in the eye and reached for the panties once again. Back over the bed i went for a repeat.
He stood me back up gave me the "one eyebrow" look, which i ignored as i reached for the panties. (Trust me i am not usually such a slow learner) He said,...it's your bottom..., to which i foolishly replied..."guess this is where we find out who is more stubborn!" Before i took another breath i was over the bed, He somehow had a paddle in His hand, and was using it on an already very sore bottom. "Let me know when you have decided who is more stubborn", He said.
Now i may be foolish, but am not stupid, i decided quickly that He was indeed more stubborn than i was. After i reassured Him that He was indeed more stubborn, i started to get up. He held me down and said ask to get up. I hesitated, which started the paddling again! I asked, to be told, "ask nicely". So i added a couple of pleases, and asked again as nicely as i knew how. I was able to get up, look over at Master, and say, "May i please put my panties and pants back on?" With a glint in His eye and smile on His face He said..certainly.
Looking back, it seems like such a small thing to ask me to do. I still ask every time, only without prompting.
I learned on that day, that i had been demoted to second most subborn person that i knew.
abby
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A nice welcome back!
I am back from 5 days of making wonderful memories. My 2 grand-daughters are growing up tooo fast, they are such fun!
Just before noon today i got a text from Master..." want to help me get some wood?" Now, knowing Master, that could mean a few things. My brain quickly thought...switches, pick out a paddle, or maybe Master is working on a new project. I replied with a ...hmm, yes? He chuckled and told me to meet Him at Home Depot...ahh a new project. He is very good with His hands..in several ways.
After we got the wood, loaded it in the van, and delivered it, He then ordered me to get naked and kneeling please. I was surprised, figuring this was just a lunch time errand. He repeated the order, and i quickly replied, Yes Sir!
I so needed to be naked and kneeling, after being away from His touch for the last 5 days. For me, being naked and kneeling is a deep place of submission, nothing else exists.
I know and feel deeply that i am with my Master and i belong wholly to Him. Master uses my kneeling time to narrow my focus, He takes control of my body, claiming all of it, hair, face, neck, breast, torso, bottom, legs...He leaves His touch on all of it.
Then it was over His knee for a hand warm-up. Master's hand is my favorite thing to be spanked with..although it can at times feel like a small paddle! This warm-up was speckled with periods of rubbing and touching. At one point Master asked if i was napping...no, just thoroughly enjoying!
Next, i was told to bend over, hands on the sofa, bottom up, and legs apart. He remarked it had been a while since i had had a good strapping. I think He was doing sets of 20, i lose count easily. After each set, there was rubbing and touching to see if i was letting the sting travel to my pleasure spot. Each time He touched i was wetter, and more ready. I was soon moaning with need as soon as He stopped the strapping and His hand started to wander.
Just when i was thinking, it is time for me to get a permission, i was told to move to the end of the sofa, and bend over, bottom high. I do not like having my feet not touch the floor, add to that keeping my legs open and apart, that position requires concentration and determination. These sets were much harder, but i was soon in my "leather zone". Of course that is when i suddenly feel what seems like a small switch.
The sting and burn quickly built up...Master asked about the sensation...not nearly as nice as the strap!
Master was kind and after only one set He reached to "test" how ready i was to cum for Him. It did not take much "persuading" before i was pleading for a Yes..cum for me. I used to wonder what all the fuss over orgasms was..now..wow... i no longer wonder, i know..
Then some more kneeling time, and lunch time was really over. Thank You Master, for a wonderful surprise today, and the best lunch a girl could ask for!
abby
Just before noon today i got a text from Master..." want to help me get some wood?" Now, knowing Master, that could mean a few things. My brain quickly thought...switches, pick out a paddle, or maybe Master is working on a new project. I replied with a ...hmm, yes? He chuckled and told me to meet Him at Home Depot...ahh a new project. He is very good with His hands..in several ways.
After we got the wood, loaded it in the van, and delivered it, He then ordered me to get naked and kneeling please. I was surprised, figuring this was just a lunch time errand. He repeated the order, and i quickly replied, Yes Sir!
I so needed to be naked and kneeling, after being away from His touch for the last 5 days. For me, being naked and kneeling is a deep place of submission, nothing else exists.
I know and feel deeply that i am with my Master and i belong wholly to Him. Master uses my kneeling time to narrow my focus, He takes control of my body, claiming all of it, hair, face, neck, breast, torso, bottom, legs...He leaves His touch on all of it.
Then it was over His knee for a hand warm-up. Master's hand is my favorite thing to be spanked with..although it can at times feel like a small paddle! This warm-up was speckled with periods of rubbing and touching. At one point Master asked if i was napping...no, just thoroughly enjoying!
Next, i was told to bend over, hands on the sofa, bottom up, and legs apart. He remarked it had been a while since i had had a good strapping. I think He was doing sets of 20, i lose count easily. After each set, there was rubbing and touching to see if i was letting the sting travel to my pleasure spot. Each time He touched i was wetter, and more ready. I was soon moaning with need as soon as He stopped the strapping and His hand started to wander.
Just when i was thinking, it is time for me to get a permission, i was told to move to the end of the sofa, and bend over, bottom high. I do not like having my feet not touch the floor, add to that keeping my legs open and apart, that position requires concentration and determination. These sets were much harder, but i was soon in my "leather zone". Of course that is when i suddenly feel what seems like a small switch.
The sting and burn quickly built up...Master asked about the sensation...not nearly as nice as the strap!
Master was kind and after only one set He reached to "test" how ready i was to cum for Him. It did not take much "persuading" before i was pleading for a Yes..cum for me. I used to wonder what all the fuss over orgasms was..now..wow... i no longer wonder, i know..
Then some more kneeling time, and lunch time was really over. Thank You Master, for a wonderful surprise today, and the best lunch a girl could ask for!
abby
Friday, August 20, 2010
family time...and a "reminder"
This was a good report day..i lost 1 pound! It is not much, but enough to keep Master happy..and a happy Master...
Our meeting this afternoon, was soooo much nicer that the one on Tuesday. Master gave me what He calls a "reminder" spanking..to remind me to stay on course! A nice hand warm-up, then on to one of His smaller paddles....the best part of a reminder..the rubbing away of the sting, between "sets"!
As often happens, that rubbing, leads to heat elsewhere..Master often encourages me to try to cum while He is paddling me..and much to my surprise it has happened a few times! Who knew....pain and pleasure could be sooo closely linked..i know all of you out there have known that for a while!
This afternoon, Master helped me go over that edge...a few times. I could use reminders of that more often!
The spanking was also a reminder to take with me. I am leaving for Boston early in the morning. My youngest grand-daughter is turning 1! Her cousin, my first grand-daughter is 28 months! We are all coming together for 5 wonderful days. Since we live in 3 different states, that does not happen often enough for this grandma!
For the next 5 days i will be enjoying cuddles, playing dress-up, tea parties, laughs, the zoo, and the making of wonderful memories! Lucky me!!! Hope you all are having half as much fun!
abby
Our meeting this afternoon, was soooo much nicer that the one on Tuesday. Master gave me what He calls a "reminder" spanking..to remind me to stay on course! A nice hand warm-up, then on to one of His smaller paddles....the best part of a reminder..the rubbing away of the sting, between "sets"!
As often happens, that rubbing, leads to heat elsewhere..Master often encourages me to try to cum while He is paddling me..and much to my surprise it has happened a few times! Who knew....pain and pleasure could be sooo closely linked..i know all of you out there have known that for a while!
This afternoon, Master helped me go over that edge...a few times. I could use reminders of that more often!
The spanking was also a reminder to take with me. I am leaving for Boston early in the morning. My youngest grand-daughter is turning 1! Her cousin, my first grand-daughter is 28 months! We are all coming together for 5 wonderful days. Since we live in 3 different states, that does not happen often enough for this grandma!
For the next 5 days i will be enjoying cuddles, playing dress-up, tea parties, laughs, the zoo, and the making of wonderful memories! Lucky me!!! Hope you all are having half as much fun!
abby
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
the 2 pound "discussion"
Master and i had our little discussion this afternoon. Have i ever told you how much i love ice cream..always have..it is soo yummy! Our "talk" began like this..
M...how did you manage to gain 2 pounds over the weekend?
me...well no wii or walking..i splurged on some ice cream..real ice cream..it was soooo good!
M...how many times have you had ice cream since Friday?
me...(utoh)...hmmm...4 times..Sir
M...4? over a 3 day weekend..??
me..well.....i had some last nite...(why is honesty the best policy?)
M..after a plus 2 pound weigh-in you ate more ice cream?
me..well..i figured if i finished the carton the temptation would be gone (i know you all agree with my train of thought!)
M...so now i have to make sure that the next time you think of eating ice cream...you think back to today and decide it is not worth it..
me...gulp...
At least it was over his lap, and i did get a short warm up.
Then the ..i think it is mahagony..paddle, with the holes in it..at least it is not a big paddle. He started slowly, making each hit harder,,and harder. I used to try to count how many, but i am usually too busy thinking breathe, stay in place, breathe, to count much. It only takes about 5 minutes for me to get to the ..i am sorry, Sir. His reply is sorry is good, but we are not finished.
He starts in much faster...i hate faster, no time to process. Then i make a big mistake...i say..ok, You have made your point! I decide when my point is made, is the reply..and He shows me that He can make a stronger one.
Staying in place is becoming very difficult, and we are at the point where nothing matters but my bottom and how it is burning and stinging..OUCH!
Finally He stops..maybe around 15 minutes...my perceptions are somewhat limited by now. I am given permission to sit up, bare bottomed, i get a hug or two..then the chat continues.
M..since you think finishing off the carton is a way of avoiding temptation, I have a better way. No more ice cream in the house.
me..none?..what about the light, or double churned or sugar free or the sinlge portions one? (life without ice cream..is unimaginable)
M..none..( i guess Master has a better imagination than i do). And, you need my explicit permission to go out and have ice cream or to have ice cream at a party or any place.
me..hmm this weekend is Maya's first birthday (my granddaughter)
M .. you are not allowed any ice cream..dont waste a text asking.
me..Yes Sir..(pouting)
M..lol..pouting?? will not help..remember when you gave yourself to me..it was all of you..I am in charge of You..You are mine..I am in charge..
me..Yes Sir, good bye ice cream...
M..also, my plan is that we will meet again this Friday to remind you of what happens when you eat ice cream and gain 2 pounds. I want to be sure you remember when you are away.
me..(silence)...then... yes Sir.
i am still trying to figure out life without ice cream..lol..hopefully when i reach my new goal...we can re-negotiate..i am sure all of you out there would agree with me!
More important than ice cream, is the fact that as i sit here, with a tender, somewhat still throbbing bottom, i know that all is right in my world. I am His..He is in charge...all is right once again.
abby
M...how did you manage to gain 2 pounds over the weekend?
me...well no wii or walking..i splurged on some ice cream..real ice cream..it was soooo good!
M...how many times have you had ice cream since Friday?
me...(utoh)...hmmm...4 times..Sir
M...4? over a 3 day weekend..??
me..well.....i had some last nite...(why is honesty the best policy?)
M..after a plus 2 pound weigh-in you ate more ice cream?
me..well..i figured if i finished the carton the temptation would be gone (i know you all agree with my train of thought!)
M...so now i have to make sure that the next time you think of eating ice cream...you think back to today and decide it is not worth it..
me...gulp...
At least it was over his lap, and i did get a short warm up.
Then the ..i think it is mahagony..paddle, with the holes in it..at least it is not a big paddle. He started slowly, making each hit harder,,and harder. I used to try to count how many, but i am usually too busy thinking breathe, stay in place, breathe, to count much. It only takes about 5 minutes for me to get to the ..i am sorry, Sir. His reply is sorry is good, but we are not finished.
He starts in much faster...i hate faster, no time to process. Then i make a big mistake...i say..ok, You have made your point! I decide when my point is made, is the reply..and He shows me that He can make a stronger one.
Staying in place is becoming very difficult, and we are at the point where nothing matters but my bottom and how it is burning and stinging..OUCH!
Finally He stops..maybe around 15 minutes...my perceptions are somewhat limited by now. I am given permission to sit up, bare bottomed, i get a hug or two..then the chat continues.
M..since you think finishing off the carton is a way of avoiding temptation, I have a better way. No more ice cream in the house.
me..none?..what about the light, or double churned or sugar free or the sinlge portions one? (life without ice cream..is unimaginable)
M..none..( i guess Master has a better imagination than i do). And, you need my explicit permission to go out and have ice cream or to have ice cream at a party or any place.
me..hmm this weekend is Maya's first birthday (my granddaughter)
M .. you are not allowed any ice cream..dont waste a text asking.
me..Yes Sir..(pouting)
M..lol..pouting?? will not help..remember when you gave yourself to me..it was all of you..I am in charge of You..You are mine..I am in charge..
me..Yes Sir, good bye ice cream...
M..also, my plan is that we will meet again this Friday to remind you of what happens when you eat ice cream and gain 2 pounds. I want to be sure you remember when you are away.
me..(silence)...then... yes Sir.
i am still trying to figure out life without ice cream..lol..hopefully when i reach my new goal...we can re-negotiate..i am sure all of you out there would agree with me!
More important than ice cream, is the fact that as i sit here, with a tender, somewhat still throbbing bottom, i know that all is right in my world. I am His..He is in charge...all is right once again.
abby
Monday, August 16, 2010
My spanking diet
Before Master and i entered into a D/s relationship, He was "helping" me to master the problem of losing weight. Can spanking help a person lose weight? In my case the answer is yes. Unfortunately spanking alone does not take weight off..that would be too good, wouldn't it?
So the person doing the losing must really want to..bottom line is i had to say no to the ice cream and yes to the walking and the wii. In my case i also needed someone who was more stubborn that i was...someone who would not let me quit. I had loss weight before, up to 35 pounds, and then gave up, and gained that and more back. One thing i learned quickly, making a deal with Master is like signing in blood and dealing with the devil...He does not give up until a goal is reached.
I get to decide on the goal. My first goal was 50 pounds..my oldest daughter was getting married, and i had 1 year. It took close to 11 months, but i did it!!!!! It was not a road without detours, and pot holes..and some serious spankings,,,but i did it!
I then took a break..gaining a little of it back, and losing it again. Why is it so much harder the second time around? The deal with Master is once i reach the goal i can stay put, but not gain. Which is reassuring, and has allowed me to want to lose more, since i know it is staying off this time.
I have loss 10 more since the original 50, stayed there for a while, and am now working on 10 more. The rules have changed along the way, but we seem to have a system that works for us.
I weigh in twice a week. We started off with 1 weigh-in a week, on Fridays, but that often lead to splurges on the weekend, so i now weigh-in and report and Friday and Monday. Even when i am maintaining these weigh-ins continue. Since i am now trying to lose, i cannot gain. (If i go away with friends or to visit family, i get a little bit of "ice cream" space..a couple pounds.)
I keep a food diary, and am committed to either walking or using the wii at least 5 times a week. Master keeps reminding me it is a life style change, not a temporary change..so get used to it!
Today i reported i had gained close to 2 pounds over the weekend..He was not pleased. We will be "discussing" it further soon. You all know what that really means. Probably something made of wood will be involved. I have been really good lately which i reminded Him of this morning. He agreed, and said He expects it all the time...and He knows me, if He allows this, i will see it as a possible pattern.
I hate the waiting, and i hate having to report a gain, He is always so disappointed. I am going away this weekend, so i need to get my head in a good place...i am sure that will happen tomorrow or the day after..i will let you know what happens.
abby
So the person doing the losing must really want to..bottom line is i had to say no to the ice cream and yes to the walking and the wii. In my case i also needed someone who was more stubborn that i was...someone who would not let me quit. I had loss weight before, up to 35 pounds, and then gave up, and gained that and more back. One thing i learned quickly, making a deal with Master is like signing in blood and dealing with the devil...He does not give up until a goal is reached.
I get to decide on the goal. My first goal was 50 pounds..my oldest daughter was getting married, and i had 1 year. It took close to 11 months, but i did it!!!!! It was not a road without detours, and pot holes..and some serious spankings,,,but i did it!
I then took a break..gaining a little of it back, and losing it again. Why is it so much harder the second time around? The deal with Master is once i reach the goal i can stay put, but not gain. Which is reassuring, and has allowed me to want to lose more, since i know it is staying off this time.
I have loss 10 more since the original 50, stayed there for a while, and am now working on 10 more. The rules have changed along the way, but we seem to have a system that works for us.
I weigh in twice a week. We started off with 1 weigh-in a week, on Fridays, but that often lead to splurges on the weekend, so i now weigh-in and report and Friday and Monday. Even when i am maintaining these weigh-ins continue. Since i am now trying to lose, i cannot gain. (If i go away with friends or to visit family, i get a little bit of "ice cream" space..a couple pounds.)
I keep a food diary, and am committed to either walking or using the wii at least 5 times a week. Master keeps reminding me it is a life style change, not a temporary change..so get used to it!
Today i reported i had gained close to 2 pounds over the weekend..He was not pleased. We will be "discussing" it further soon. You all know what that really means. Probably something made of wood will be involved. I have been really good lately which i reminded Him of this morning. He agreed, and said He expects it all the time...and He knows me, if He allows this, i will see it as a possible pattern.
I hate the waiting, and i hate having to report a gain, He is always so disappointed. I am going away this weekend, so i need to get my head in a good place...i am sure that will happen tomorrow or the day after..i will let you know what happens.
abby
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Protocalls...etc...part 2
August 15 2010..
Where do rituals, rules and exspectations fit into my D/s relationship? I left out the protocalls category, since i feel that we are not that formal, it is usually more relaxed and fun. When we first started on this journey, Master said He did not want to micromanage me. I think i was a little disappointed, at first, but have come to appreciate that approach.
Rituals...i have a hard time defining ritual as opposed to a rule. One ritiual is our sessions start with me kneeling at His feet, hands behind my back, listening to His voice. His voice was one of the first things that drew me to Him, and the sound of it still captivates me. I also must ask to break position when a spanking or session is done, and to get dressed. He expects me to use the word Sir during a spanking or session when answering a question..hate answering questions then!
Rules....i am expected to ask for permission before i cum..either with or without Him. That was one of the first rules. One of the more recent rules, is that i must ask for permission before i go someplace in my car. It sounds more restrictive than i at first worried about, but He is very good at answering text messages quickly..usually. Also with both of these rules, i rarely get a no..in fact, i always expect a yes. I had been in the habit of asking for a general permission..may i go run errands for example..but recently i have been intructed that my question must be for a specific location and if i ask for a place, and do not go there, He expects a text with that information.
I send an email report every evening. It started out as a food diary, when i first started dieting. It also includes, if i used the wii, what task i did for Him, ( He expects one task a day), if i have taken my meds, and anythinge else i might want to add. I also call or text every morning. I send in a weigh in report every Monday and Friday...60 pounds and counting!!
Expectations...i am allowed to keep my title of "Queen of Sarcasm" except when i am with Him. He expects respect and obedience to any requests. Of course honesty and we are working on the openness aspect. He expects me to stay focused and act like i am His.
Hmm, i think that is about it. If i have forgotten anything improtant i will hear about it, and will post and addendum!
abby
Where do rituals, rules and exspectations fit into my D/s relationship? I left out the protocalls category, since i feel that we are not that formal, it is usually more relaxed and fun. When we first started on this journey, Master said He did not want to micromanage me. I think i was a little disappointed, at first, but have come to appreciate that approach.
Rituals...i have a hard time defining ritual as opposed to a rule. One ritiual is our sessions start with me kneeling at His feet, hands behind my back, listening to His voice. His voice was one of the first things that drew me to Him, and the sound of it still captivates me. I also must ask to break position when a spanking or session is done, and to get dressed. He expects me to use the word Sir during a spanking or session when answering a question..hate answering questions then!
Rules....i am expected to ask for permission before i cum..either with or without Him. That was one of the first rules. One of the more recent rules, is that i must ask for permission before i go someplace in my car. It sounds more restrictive than i at first worried about, but He is very good at answering text messages quickly..usually. Also with both of these rules, i rarely get a no..in fact, i always expect a yes. I had been in the habit of asking for a general permission..may i go run errands for example..but recently i have been intructed that my question must be for a specific location and if i ask for a place, and do not go there, He expects a text with that information.
I send an email report every evening. It started out as a food diary, when i first started dieting. It also includes, if i used the wii, what task i did for Him, ( He expects one task a day), if i have taken my meds, and anythinge else i might want to add. I also call or text every morning. I send in a weigh in report every Monday and Friday...60 pounds and counting!!
Expectations...i am allowed to keep my title of "Queen of Sarcasm" except when i am with Him. He expects respect and obedience to any requests. Of course honesty and we are working on the openness aspect. He expects me to stay focused and act like i am His.
Hmm, i think that is about it. If i have forgotten anything improtant i will hear about it, and will post and addendum!
abby
Friday, August 13, 2010
Protocalls ? Rituals? Rules? Expectations? part 1
* The last time i asked for help Bonnie came to my rescue..Thank you! So I am trying again...I know one should provide a link when referring to another blog, but how does one do that? Also I would like to thank everyone who has added my link to their blog list..how do I start a blog list??
I have been thinking about writing on this topic for a few days..yes I do tend to overthink things! I have questions, to which the only answer might be, the terms mean whatever you want them to mean. This post will address that, and my next post will look at some of the rituals or rules or protocalls and Master and i practice..I am not sure what to call them!
Protocalls..a tough word! When i think of protocalls i think of what a person should say or do when meeting a president or the pope....for example, kissing the pope's ring. A special occasion that requires a special response.
Are protocalls and rituals the same thing? Protocall seems more formal of a word than ritual. Rituals seem to me to be the more every day things that a person is asked to do. We are surrounnded by rituals, at holidays, family reunions, etc. How is a ritual different than a protocall, or is it different?
Rules,,now we all know about rules in our every day lives, but how do rules differ from rituals in the spanking or BDSM community. Is it a ritual or a rule, if one is expected to be kneeling for their Master at the start of a session, or ask for permission to enter a room, or kiss a paddle after a spanking?
Expectations, we all have expectations, right there with our hopes and dreams. I suspect the difference between expectations and rules is that rules have consequences, expectations have hopes and dreams.
As you can see I am confused. I am not at all sure which of these categories fit what happens between Master and i. That will be my next post. For now, I would like to ask...can anyone define these for me? Share with me how they fit into your power exchange, if they fit at all? Or are they just like the labels ( top, bottom, Master, submissive, owner, etc...)... Is the definition up to the user...?
abby..who is once again confused...
I have been thinking about writing on this topic for a few days..yes I do tend to overthink things! I have questions, to which the only answer might be, the terms mean whatever you want them to mean. This post will address that, and my next post will look at some of the rituals or rules or protocalls and Master and i practice..I am not sure what to call them!
Protocalls..a tough word! When i think of protocalls i think of what a person should say or do when meeting a president or the pope....for example, kissing the pope's ring. A special occasion that requires a special response.
Are protocalls and rituals the same thing? Protocall seems more formal of a word than ritual. Rituals seem to me to be the more every day things that a person is asked to do. We are surrounnded by rituals, at holidays, family reunions, etc. How is a ritual different than a protocall, or is it different?
Rules,,now we all know about rules in our every day lives, but how do rules differ from rituals in the spanking or BDSM community. Is it a ritual or a rule, if one is expected to be kneeling for their Master at the start of a session, or ask for permission to enter a room, or kiss a paddle after a spanking?
Expectations, we all have expectations, right there with our hopes and dreams. I suspect the difference between expectations and rules is that rules have consequences, expectations have hopes and dreams.
As you can see I am confused. I am not at all sure which of these categories fit what happens between Master and i. That will be my next post. For now, I would like to ask...can anyone define these for me? Share with me how they fit into your power exchange, if they fit at all? Or are they just like the labels ( top, bottom, Master, submissive, owner, etc...)... Is the definition up to the user...?
abby..who is once again confused...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
a hot and steamy August afternoon....
So far it has been a good week here...yesterday i got to indulge in one of my vices....and it had nothing to do with Master, except for getting His permission.
I spent a fun day at one of the nearby casinos, with a good friend. We laughed, we had fun, she won !! , i loss...boo....but it was great fun.
Today is one of those hot and steamy August days, that make me long for fall. It has been one unusually hot summer here, and although i don't love the snow, this heat is doing me in. What? You thought my title was not weather related...silly me!
This was maintenance afternoon..and then some. Master managed some extra time, so we also had a "play" session. I have been quite good lately, and reaping those rewards is wonderful! As with all sessions, i start by kneeling for Him, while He re-claims, relaxes and soothes me, with His wonderful hands. I love His hands.
Then on to a wonderful hand warm-up, throw in a little rubbing, and i am so relaxed. Since this was part maintenance, the little wooden paddle was next. When it follows a nice warm-up, it is a good way for me to start to just let go. I realize the paddling is done, as i hear His belt being removed..now there is a sound that sends shivers.
Just as i was getting used to the beat and the sting on my bottom, i felt a thud on my back...not expecting it, i voiced my surprise. After a reminder that all of me is fair game, i settled in. We then tested the belt as a sinlgle layer or doubled up. I enjoyed the single layer on my bottom, but liked the double up sensation better on my back...more thud, less sting, maybe. Neither one gets my vote on my thighs!
Then i heard the words i still am not used to, turn over, equal treatment on the front. When i am on my back i feel less open, more hidden, safer maybe. I am better about going over and exposing my front, but it still takes a couple deep breaths. Using just the tip of the belt, on my breast..there are soo sensitive..and on my pussy. I was starting to squirm, and moan, when he switched to His hand. I still don't understand the pain/pleasure relationship that happens, but there is no denying it.
I am soon asking for permission to cum, Master says convince me. I am not a beggar by nature, but when a girl needs a permission, she will resort to most any means. Master seems to know, just when to say, "cum for me". Three or maybe four commands to cum later, i am begging, please no more. I am spent, sweaty, and sooo sated. Thank You Master!
After some after care, it is time to ask for permission to get up and get dressed. Hot, steamy, sweaty August afternoons, do have a certain appeal after all!
abby
I spent a fun day at one of the nearby casinos, with a good friend. We laughed, we had fun, she won !! , i loss...boo....but it was great fun.
Today is one of those hot and steamy August days, that make me long for fall. It has been one unusually hot summer here, and although i don't love the snow, this heat is doing me in. What? You thought my title was not weather related...silly me!
This was maintenance afternoon..and then some. Master managed some extra time, so we also had a "play" session. I have been quite good lately, and reaping those rewards is wonderful! As with all sessions, i start by kneeling for Him, while He re-claims, relaxes and soothes me, with His wonderful hands. I love His hands.
Then on to a wonderful hand warm-up, throw in a little rubbing, and i am so relaxed. Since this was part maintenance, the little wooden paddle was next. When it follows a nice warm-up, it is a good way for me to start to just let go. I realize the paddling is done, as i hear His belt being removed..now there is a sound that sends shivers.
Just as i was getting used to the beat and the sting on my bottom, i felt a thud on my back...not expecting it, i voiced my surprise. After a reminder that all of me is fair game, i settled in. We then tested the belt as a sinlgle layer or doubled up. I enjoyed the single layer on my bottom, but liked the double up sensation better on my back...more thud, less sting, maybe. Neither one gets my vote on my thighs!
Then i heard the words i still am not used to, turn over, equal treatment on the front. When i am on my back i feel less open, more hidden, safer maybe. I am better about going over and exposing my front, but it still takes a couple deep breaths. Using just the tip of the belt, on my breast..there are soo sensitive..and on my pussy. I was starting to squirm, and moan, when he switched to His hand. I still don't understand the pain/pleasure relationship that happens, but there is no denying it.
I am soon asking for permission to cum, Master says convince me. I am not a beggar by nature, but when a girl needs a permission, she will resort to most any means. Master seems to know, just when to say, "cum for me". Three or maybe four commands to cum later, i am begging, please no more. I am spent, sweaty, and sooo sated. Thank You Master!
After some after care, it is time to ask for permission to get up and get dressed. Hot, steamy, sweaty August afternoons, do have a certain appeal after all!
abby
Friday, August 6, 2010
A look back...my introduction to the cane
August 6, 2010
* These "look back" posts are a chronological look back to when Master and i first met, and He was my "top" or spanker. These first few happened about 8 eight years ago. The reason i still recall them so clearly is because the first rule Master gave me was i had to send Him "feedback" on all our sessions. My early feedbacks were all about what i liked and disliked, how i felt the first time that i was tied or blindfolded, etc. They evolved into a way of me sharing feelings, since i find writing them easier than speaking them. And now to this blog.
I had been "introduced" to Master's toy bag. He informed me that our next session would be all about the cane. This time He would start on a blank palette..sometimes He can be so poetic. I assumed that meant no other toys first.
Every time i thought of that cane, the butterflies went wild! Master kept reminding me that all implements can be enjoyed...or not..depending on the user.
Finally the day was here. He gave me a wonderful hand warm-up....thank goodness the palette was not going to be totally blank! Then He surprised me by telling me to go pick up the pencil on a nearby table and write down how many strokes i wanted.
Talk about being confused...i had no idea what number to choose. I had read lots of stories about naughty girls getting caned, and they did not inspire me to a large number! At the same time, i did not want to appear to be a total wimp!
I knew that 12 seemed to be a number that appeared in many of the stories, but that seemd like a lot. After Master urged me on, i finally decided on 10..a double digit number, but less than 12. I was to kneel on the seat of a chair, bend over the back of the chair..and stay in position.
Master went to see the number i had chosen..."What only 10?....If you chose a higher number we could start off lighter...trust Me!
He gave them to me in sets of 3, each set a little harder, and with lots of encouragement! One more i thought, and this has not been so bad. Well that last one, caused me to move up and off the chair! That was the cane i had read about!
Master then announced that since i did not stay in place i will get 3 more. I slowly got back in position, and this time was a little more ready for the harder strokes. He gave me three more, and gave me permission to get off the chair and was ready with a big hug! Yes it had been only 13,,but i had done it!
Master then told me to sit in the chair, while He went in the next room for something. Well i could not resist, i stood to feel the welts, they were barely there, but i felt them. When Master returned, He asked if i had stayed seated. I replied i am sitting now. He reapeted His question..(smell a set-up? ) I admitted to standing to feel my bottom and was immediately pulled over His lap for a hand spanking. A spanking, over a caning, sure is intensified! He considered it my first lesson in obedience!
Enjoy the weekend everone!
abby
* These "look back" posts are a chronological look back to when Master and i first met, and He was my "top" or spanker. These first few happened about 8 eight years ago. The reason i still recall them so clearly is because the first rule Master gave me was i had to send Him "feedback" on all our sessions. My early feedbacks were all about what i liked and disliked, how i felt the first time that i was tied or blindfolded, etc. They evolved into a way of me sharing feelings, since i find writing them easier than speaking them. And now to this blog.
I had been "introduced" to Master's toy bag. He informed me that our next session would be all about the cane. This time He would start on a blank palette..sometimes He can be so poetic. I assumed that meant no other toys first.
Every time i thought of that cane, the butterflies went wild! Master kept reminding me that all implements can be enjoyed...or not..depending on the user.
Finally the day was here. He gave me a wonderful hand warm-up....thank goodness the palette was not going to be totally blank! Then He surprised me by telling me to go pick up the pencil on a nearby table and write down how many strokes i wanted.
Talk about being confused...i had no idea what number to choose. I had read lots of stories about naughty girls getting caned, and they did not inspire me to a large number! At the same time, i did not want to appear to be a total wimp!
I knew that 12 seemed to be a number that appeared in many of the stories, but that seemd like a lot. After Master urged me on, i finally decided on 10..a double digit number, but less than 12. I was to kneel on the seat of a chair, bend over the back of the chair..and stay in position.
Master went to see the number i had chosen..."What only 10?....If you chose a higher number we could start off lighter...trust Me!
He gave them to me in sets of 3, each set a little harder, and with lots of encouragement! One more i thought, and this has not been so bad. Well that last one, caused me to move up and off the chair! That was the cane i had read about!
Master then announced that since i did not stay in place i will get 3 more. I slowly got back in position, and this time was a little more ready for the harder strokes. He gave me three more, and gave me permission to get off the chair and was ready with a big hug! Yes it had been only 13,,but i had done it!
Master then told me to sit in the chair, while He went in the next room for something. Well i could not resist, i stood to feel the welts, they were barely there, but i felt them. When Master returned, He asked if i had stayed seated. I replied i am sitting now. He reapeted His question..(smell a set-up? ) I admitted to standing to feel my bottom and was immediately pulled over His lap for a hand spanking. A spanking, over a caning, sure is intensified! He considered it my first lesson in obedience!
Enjoy the weekend everone!
abby
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
yummy maintenance!
HELP!! I have been trying to get the font to a larger size...cannot get it to save to a larger size..can anyone help?? please! and Thanks!
WHEW..it is hot here..and got much hotter than just the normal temperature this afternoon. Today was maintenance day for us...it is not on the same day each week, but it DOES happen weekly. When we first started maintenance i was doubful about it actually working out every week. But i should have known, if Master says weekly, He means weekly! We both agree it is a good thing, and has kept me calmer and more focused.
So today was maitenance day, and i was looking forward to it. If i do say so myself i have been very good lately. Master also commented on it this afternoon. Maintenance has always been with one of Master's small paddles. Today He kindly started with His hand, and lots of rubbing...i was soon sooo relaxed.
Then came the paddle, but i was ready, and although the sting was there,,it was a good sting with lots of rubbing. Master asked why i have been leaving out the juicy part of our meetings..so here goes.
Unless it is a punishment spanking, Master usually "checks" to see how much i am enjoying or responding to His spanking and rubbing. This afternoon it did not take me long to be wet and ready! Since He was so impressed by my recent behaviour, He showed me how much fun maintenance can be!
Master likes to tease me that back when we were new at this, i used to beg Him to stop after one orgasm, saying one was enough! Now one is usually just a warm-up, i was "jello" after 3 this afternoon! Now that is my kind of maintenance!
abby
WHEW..it is hot here..and got much hotter than just the normal temperature this afternoon. Today was maintenance day for us...it is not on the same day each week, but it DOES happen weekly. When we first started maintenance i was doubful about it actually working out every week. But i should have known, if Master says weekly, He means weekly! We both agree it is a good thing, and has kept me calmer and more focused.
So today was maitenance day, and i was looking forward to it. If i do say so myself i have been very good lately. Master also commented on it this afternoon. Maintenance has always been with one of Master's small paddles. Today He kindly started with His hand, and lots of rubbing...i was soon sooo relaxed.
Then came the paddle, but i was ready, and although the sting was there,,it was a good sting with lots of rubbing. Master asked why i have been leaving out the juicy part of our meetings..so here goes.
Unless it is a punishment spanking, Master usually "checks" to see how much i am enjoying or responding to His spanking and rubbing. This afternoon it did not take me long to be wet and ready! Since He was so impressed by my recent behaviour, He showed me how much fun maintenance can be!
Master likes to tease me that back when we were new at this, i used to beg Him to stop after one orgasm, saying one was enough! Now one is usually just a warm-up, i was "jello" after 3 this afternoon! Now that is my kind of maintenance!
abby
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Labels....
August 3, 2010
I was going to post on rituals and protocals today...but then i read Swan's post this morning, and she addressed something that has bothered me. So, being a woman, it is ok to change my mind...(sometimes Master).
During my life and my teaching career, one thing i have become convinced of is that labels are only reliable when they are on cans in your kitchen pantry! If the label says peas..and there is a picture of peas, you can be pretty sure there are peas in that can.
When i first started searching the terms power exchange, spanking, and BDSM i came across lots of labels. It did not take me long to realize, that the labels only confused me. Slave, submissive, owned, property, bottom, spankee, etc.......then there is the other side of the coin, Master, Sir, Owner, Top, Spanker, Domme, Mistress, etc...YIKES!!!!!!!! To my disappointment, it seemed that many thought their definition of these terms was the only correct one.
I read quite a few blogs, some i read and think..wow as a slave she/he acts a lot like i do....or..wow as a submissvie, that person seems more like a slave to me. Operative words being TO ME. I refer to myself as a submissive, why?? Because that is what my Master has decided. On this blog i refer to Him as Master..not so much in real life, mostly Sir, when He needs a title..that also was decided by Him.
What do those terms mean? They mean whatever Master...and occasionally i ....decide they mean! They work for us! Thanks to a very patient Master, i feel i make a pretty good submissive, and would probably make a lousy slave...according to my definition of a slave. I have fantasized of slavery, and it might be fun for 24 hours, or a weekend, but not day to day...
Labels are used to help us understand each other...but first we must understand the meaning of the label. There is no one definition for submissive, or for any of the other power exchange labels. There is no right or wrong definition. They are defined by the people who choose to wear them.
Enough of this pet peeve of mine. One last thank you to Swan...who concludes her post with she is His......that i like....i am His...that is enough!
abby
I was going to post on rituals and protocals today...but then i read Swan's post this morning, and she addressed something that has bothered me. So, being a woman, it is ok to change my mind...(sometimes Master).
During my life and my teaching career, one thing i have become convinced of is that labels are only reliable when they are on cans in your kitchen pantry! If the label says peas..and there is a picture of peas, you can be pretty sure there are peas in that can.
When i first started searching the terms power exchange, spanking, and BDSM i came across lots of labels. It did not take me long to realize, that the labels only confused me. Slave, submissive, owned, property, bottom, spankee, etc.......then there is the other side of the coin, Master, Sir, Owner, Top, Spanker, Domme, Mistress, etc...YIKES!!!!!!!! To my disappointment, it seemed that many thought their definition of these terms was the only correct one.
I read quite a few blogs, some i read and think..wow as a slave she/he acts a lot like i do....or..wow as a submissvie, that person seems more like a slave to me. Operative words being TO ME. I refer to myself as a submissive, why?? Because that is what my Master has decided. On this blog i refer to Him as Master..not so much in real life, mostly Sir, when He needs a title..that also was decided by Him.
What do those terms mean? They mean whatever Master...and occasionally i ....decide they mean! They work for us! Thanks to a very patient Master, i feel i make a pretty good submissive, and would probably make a lousy slave...according to my definition of a slave. I have fantasized of slavery, and it might be fun for 24 hours, or a weekend, but not day to day...
Labels are used to help us understand each other...but first we must understand the meaning of the label. There is no one definition for submissive, or for any of the other power exchange labels. There is no right or wrong definition. They are defined by the people who choose to wear them.
Enough of this pet peeve of mine. One last thank you to Swan...who concludes her post with she is His......that i like....i am His...that is enough!
abby
Sunday, August 1, 2010
a look back...Master's bag
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend...mine has been on the quiet side...not complaining one bit! This is a look back to about our third or fourth meeting, when Master showed up with His toy bag!
Our early meetings were all hand spankings, I had been introduced to some role play, which added to the fun. I loved the spontaneity, and was impressed that Master was never at a loss for words.
This time Master...who was still far frm being my Master...showed up carrying a baseball equipment bag..it looked full and heavy! He greeted me and said "I thought I would bring along some toys". I replied something about trying not to notice.
He had me bend over the back of the sofa..a new position..and told me not to peak. I bent, but I also did lots of peaking!
At our first meeting I had said I was fearful of leather, and thought I would prefer wood. So, He started out with His wooden toys. He only gave me 5 or so with each one, and althought not taps, He was being fairly easy, but there was still a build up.
Then came the leather. I remember holding my breath and waiting. The large leather flogger, i was apprenhisve. Oh boy, was I ever wrong....leather could be the best! I became totally relaxed and wanted more! He chuckled..and went on to His other leather paddles and belts. Hmmmm.....leather was quickly becoming very appealing!
Finally He said He had one more thing He wanted to introduce me to, and definately did not want me to peak. I was good, and soon was wondering what He was using, after a couple swishes, i figured out it was the cane. He went lightly, and said it was a love/hate kind of thing for many spankees. He finished off with a nice had spanking, and told me how proud of me He was. I was pretty proud of myself!
Today , I am a full leather convert! The large leather flogger is always at the top of my request list. It relaxes me, and pushes out all the knots and aggravations, and lulls me to a much better place. A short while ago, Master acquired a horse hair flogger, it is one of the few toys that i seem to enjoy on my breast. It is not as good as the large flogger, but when i get a chance to make requests it also is always on the list.
As for wood....not my favorite! Master has acquired a few more paddles..each one seemingly larger and heavier...never on my request list! The cane..well I have developed a love/hate relationship with it. Its sting is unique, and when Master is trying to please me....I can go with it and enjoy..but not always. One of the canes benefits is that the stripes last a day or two!
We have come a long way since then, to places I never imagined were possible for me.....Thank You Master!
abby
Our early meetings were all hand spankings, I had been introduced to some role play, which added to the fun. I loved the spontaneity, and was impressed that Master was never at a loss for words.
This time Master...who was still far frm being my Master...showed up carrying a baseball equipment bag..it looked full and heavy! He greeted me and said "I thought I would bring along some toys". I replied something about trying not to notice.
He had me bend over the back of the sofa..a new position..and told me not to peak. I bent, but I also did lots of peaking!
At our first meeting I had said I was fearful of leather, and thought I would prefer wood. So, He started out with His wooden toys. He only gave me 5 or so with each one, and althought not taps, He was being fairly easy, but there was still a build up.
Then came the leather. I remember holding my breath and waiting. The large leather flogger, i was apprenhisve. Oh boy, was I ever wrong....leather could be the best! I became totally relaxed and wanted more! He chuckled..and went on to His other leather paddles and belts. Hmmmm.....leather was quickly becoming very appealing!
Finally He said He had one more thing He wanted to introduce me to, and definately did not want me to peak. I was good, and soon was wondering what He was using, after a couple swishes, i figured out it was the cane. He went lightly, and said it was a love/hate kind of thing for many spankees. He finished off with a nice had spanking, and told me how proud of me He was. I was pretty proud of myself!
Today , I am a full leather convert! The large leather flogger is always at the top of my request list. It relaxes me, and pushes out all the knots and aggravations, and lulls me to a much better place. A short while ago, Master acquired a horse hair flogger, it is one of the few toys that i seem to enjoy on my breast. It is not as good as the large flogger, but when i get a chance to make requests it also is always on the list.
As for wood....not my favorite! Master has acquired a few more paddles..each one seemingly larger and heavier...never on my request list! The cane..well I have developed a love/hate relationship with it. Its sting is unique, and when Master is trying to please me....I can go with it and enjoy..but not always. One of the canes benefits is that the stripes last a day or two!
We have come a long way since then, to places I never imagined were possible for me.....Thank You Master!
abby
Friday, July 30, 2010
Maintenance day...July 30, 2010
Today was maintenance spanking day. Master's little paddle comes out, and i get a reminder of what it means to be His submissive. I had an especially good week this week...and He was pleased...but paddles do sting!
We started maintenance spankings about 2 months ago. I had sent Master an email, about feeling "needy", and He decided maintenance was the anwer. They are good for me. I no longer have to wonder when my next spanking will be, and the voices in my head...the ones that lead to no good....have been strangely quiet. One of the rules that goes along with maintenance is that i have to make it happen, check our schedules, remind Him..whatever it takes. When He first mentioned this rule, i was not pleased, for a couple reasons. He explained, it was practice in asking for what i need or want. I will admit, i am not very good at that. He has helped me to remember to set it up, and this week i did it with no reminders. A little thing maybe, but big for me.
After the spanking, Master thanked me for giving Him the gift of my submission. It was nice to hear, but set me to thinking. When i first was looking for information of submission, i ran across the term, submission is a gift, frequently. What a nice way to look at it, i thought. Now i think it is a rather narrow way to look at it.
For me, it took a special man to recognize and help me to accept my submission. In my mind, a man or a woman who accepts the role of Master/Mistress, Dom/Dommer, Spanker, or HH..is giving His/Her partner a gift also. It seems to me they have the more difficult job. So they are also giving their partners a special gift. I guees it is very nice when both partners feel they are getting a gift!
I am going to try and post here more regularly.
Hope everyone has a good weekend..
abby
We started maintenance spankings about 2 months ago. I had sent Master an email, about feeling "needy", and He decided maintenance was the anwer. They are good for me. I no longer have to wonder when my next spanking will be, and the voices in my head...the ones that lead to no good....have been strangely quiet. One of the rules that goes along with maintenance is that i have to make it happen, check our schedules, remind Him..whatever it takes. When He first mentioned this rule, i was not pleased, for a couple reasons. He explained, it was practice in asking for what i need or want. I will admit, i am not very good at that. He has helped me to remember to set it up, and this week i did it with no reminders. A little thing maybe, but big for me.
After the spanking, Master thanked me for giving Him the gift of my submission. It was nice to hear, but set me to thinking. When i first was looking for information of submission, i ran across the term, submission is a gift, frequently. What a nice way to look at it, i thought. Now i think it is a rather narrow way to look at it.
For me, it took a special man to recognize and help me to accept my submission. In my mind, a man or a woman who accepts the role of Master/Mistress, Dom/Dommer, Spanker, or HH..is giving His/Her partner a gift also. It seems to me they have the more difficult job. So they are also giving their partners a special gift. I guees it is very nice when both partners feel they are getting a gift!
I am going to try and post here more regularly.
Hope everyone has a good weekend..
abby
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
i am back..to blogging and home....July 27
I meant to blog more while i was away...but watching an 11 month old...walk, run, climb, and think naps are a waste of time..left me exhausted! I would not have missed it for a minute!
To be honest, i had decided to give up on the blogging...had the conversion i was going to have with Master all worked in my head...i often figure out how the conversations will go ahead of time...lol...to absolutely no avail! We had that talk this afternoon...and here i am blogging! He hopes it will help me to be "me", if i am "talking" to like minded people.
Master has helped me to accomplish many goals since we met. Shortly after He started to spank me...before we were into D/s....i asked Him to help me lose some weight..my oldest daughter was getting married..and i wanted to lose to look and feel better. We had 1 year before the wedding...so the goal was 50 pounds! I lost it...was soo excited...found some of it again....but with His help lost it again..have recently lost 10 more...the battle now is to keep it all off...but Master is one determined (read stubborn)....man....and i have learned that making a deal with Him..is like signing in blood..once i say i will do this...it WILL get done.
When i am out of town...i still have certain rules to follow...keeping in touch, my daily reports....and no gaining more than 2 pounds! He is reasonable..most of the time..so allows me the 2 pounds for ice cream treats...and not having my wii to do my daily workouts.....
My report to Him on Monday, indicated i had gained 5 pounds...not good.
It is good that He keeps me accountable..otherwise all my hard work to lose it, would have been a waste. So we met today....for a paddling.....with this little wooden paddle...little, but a big wallop! A long hand warm-up...thank You Master...love his hand.....then the punishment part. Three separate paddlings, each one a little harder...ending with a flourish, that left me breathless....As He said..it is meant to be a deterrent and remembered...
Then, He had me stand in a corner..that has not happened in years....i thought He gave it up because i hated it..and was not good at just quietly standing....i don't like it any better..but i did stand there quietly thinking about consequences.
Punishments used to be much more frequent when we first started. Now, mostly i get reminders....i have come to really want to please Him, and to match my actions to my wishes to please Him. We also have maintenance once a week, which for me, is a wonderful way to keep focused and calm. Maybe maintenance will be a future blog.
It is good to be back....will post again before the week is over...
abby
To be honest, i had decided to give up on the blogging...had the conversion i was going to have with Master all worked in my head...i often figure out how the conversations will go ahead of time...lol...to absolutely no avail! We had that talk this afternoon...and here i am blogging! He hopes it will help me to be "me", if i am "talking" to like minded people.
Master has helped me to accomplish many goals since we met. Shortly after He started to spank me...before we were into D/s....i asked Him to help me lose some weight..my oldest daughter was getting married..and i wanted to lose to look and feel better. We had 1 year before the wedding...so the goal was 50 pounds! I lost it...was soo excited...found some of it again....but with His help lost it again..have recently lost 10 more...the battle now is to keep it all off...but Master is one determined (read stubborn)....man....and i have learned that making a deal with Him..is like signing in blood..once i say i will do this...it WILL get done.
When i am out of town...i still have certain rules to follow...keeping in touch, my daily reports....and no gaining more than 2 pounds! He is reasonable..most of the time..so allows me the 2 pounds for ice cream treats...and not having my wii to do my daily workouts.....
My report to Him on Monday, indicated i had gained 5 pounds...not good.
It is good that He keeps me accountable..otherwise all my hard work to lose it, would have been a waste. So we met today....for a paddling.....with this little wooden paddle...little, but a big wallop! A long hand warm-up...thank You Master...love his hand.....then the punishment part. Three separate paddlings, each one a little harder...ending with a flourish, that left me breathless....As He said..it is meant to be a deterrent and remembered...
Then, He had me stand in a corner..that has not happened in years....i thought He gave it up because i hated it..and was not good at just quietly standing....i don't like it any better..but i did stand there quietly thinking about consequences.
Punishments used to be much more frequent when we first started. Now, mostly i get reminders....i have come to really want to please Him, and to match my actions to my wishes to please Him. We also have maintenance once a week, which for me, is a wonderful way to keep focused and calm. Maybe maintenance will be a future blog.
It is good to be back....will post again before the week is over...
abby
Saturday, July 17, 2010
trust is like an onion.....July 17 2010
Wayyyy toooo hotttt!!! and i mean the weather, unfortunately.
I started reading blogs about the time Master and i started on our M/s journey. I wanted to learn more, and it was reassuring to know that i was not alone in wanting, needing to express my submissiveness. As time went on, i discovered that reading blogs was a wonderful way of seeing and understanding that others were "like" me. When the voices in my head would get loud, and get me into trouble with Master, i at least knew that other submissives seem to hear their toublesome voices. There is comfort in knowing that in this "not normal" lifestyle......i am somewhat normal..lol...hope that makes sense.
A couple of the blogs that i visit regularly have been addressing the issue of trust vs. openness. In fact Master and i have discussed this fairly recently.
I trust Master. No ifs , ors , buts, I trust Master. But, i have come to realize that i am not totally open with him. At least not emotionally. There are walls i have built up around my emotions, and i guess i have felt like i needed their protection...even tho i do trust. So maybe i don't trust enough?? i am not sure.
Whenever i am really bothered by something, i usually send Master an email about it...rather than talking to Him about it. Sending that email always makes me feel better, and i feel like i have been open with Him. Master always replies and addresses the issues. But maybe sending that email is my way of keeping those walls intact, of not facing an emotional discussion.....maybe...
Morningstar has addressed this issue in her blog. She is starting on journey to be more open with her Sirs. I am thinking, feeling, it is a journey i should join her on.....
My title to this entry...trust is like an onion. I think that trust does not happen automatically. Trust happens in layers, the taking away of layers, hence the analogy to an onion. I still have layers, the outer ones have been stripped away, but the remaining ones i seem to be hanging on to dearly. Trust...i need to start removing those remaining layers, then i can say loudly and without doubt...i trust Master!
abby
I started reading blogs about the time Master and i started on our M/s journey. I wanted to learn more, and it was reassuring to know that i was not alone in wanting, needing to express my submissiveness. As time went on, i discovered that reading blogs was a wonderful way of seeing and understanding that others were "like" me. When the voices in my head would get loud, and get me into trouble with Master, i at least knew that other submissives seem to hear their toublesome voices. There is comfort in knowing that in this "not normal" lifestyle......i am somewhat normal..lol...hope that makes sense.
A couple of the blogs that i visit regularly have been addressing the issue of trust vs. openness. In fact Master and i have discussed this fairly recently.
I trust Master. No ifs , ors , buts, I trust Master. But, i have come to realize that i am not totally open with him. At least not emotionally. There are walls i have built up around my emotions, and i guess i have felt like i needed their protection...even tho i do trust. So maybe i don't trust enough?? i am not sure.
Whenever i am really bothered by something, i usually send Master an email about it...rather than talking to Him about it. Sending that email always makes me feel better, and i feel like i have been open with Him. Master always replies and addresses the issues. But maybe sending that email is my way of keeping those walls intact, of not facing an emotional discussion.....maybe...
Morningstar has addressed this issue in her blog. She is starting on journey to be more open with her Sirs. I am thinking, feeling, it is a journey i should join her on.....
My title to this entry...trust is like an onion. I think that trust does not happen automatically. Trust happens in layers, the taking away of layers, hence the analogy to an onion. I still have layers, the outer ones have been stripped away, but the remaining ones i seem to be hanging on to dearly. Trust...i need to start removing those remaining layers, then i can say loudly and without doubt...i trust Master!
abby
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
In the beginning...December 2002
I am out of town for a couple weeks...so my blogging will be the start of a look back to where Master and i have been.
Spanking...it was a word i thought about often..too often..tried to visualize..tried to banish from my head...finally i decided to find out more..so i typed the word into a search engine..Oh My! Reading about spanking..only made me want it more...Why could i not get it out of my head??
From thinking i progressed to searching on-line...and finally to emailing a few online friends..mostly dominants...
That is how Master and i started..on line, sending emails, phone calls..and finally agreeing to meet. Even as i agreed i wasn't sure i could do it..go and meet Him...yes He had been understanding, and funny, and interesting, and the first time i heard His voice, i was enthralled, just by the sound of it (still am!). But still...me..go and meet with someone that i had only met on-line???
We were meeting late one afternoon, He gave me the choice for beer or coffee, without really thinking about it...i chose beer. He laughed and said good choice. I arrived at the place a few minutes early, and sat in the parking lot for 15 minutes, trying to decide if i could actually go in and meet Him. I finally talked myself into the free beer.
We talked for close to an hour, i think. Actually He did most of the talking, and i remember thinking...yikes..He uses the work spank in every other sentence! The sound or tone of His voice, His sense of humor, and His understanding of how i was feeling, won me over.
The man i now call Master, gave me my first spanking...using only His hand and over clothing, but it was a spanking...and i was thrilled! I could not believe i had actually been spanked...worse i had no one to jump up and down with and share my news.
I went home thinking finally! finally!..now i can forget all about this spanking business, and move on..i really did think that. Of course, a couple days later, i was wondering if i could get a second spanking on how soon could it happen...a spanko had been born!
At the time in my life when i thought i would be "settling in" and looking back on my best years, i was starting a brand new journey,,,one that i still wonder at, one that would take me places i had only imagined, and a few places i never could have imagined!
Stay cool everyone...til next time
abby
Friday, July 9, 2010
not all leather is created equally.....
July 9 2010
i am sooo mellow this morning..Master and i had a wonderful session last night.
Our sessions always begin with me kneeling, naked, at His feet. He massages and rubs, and gets into my hair..and pulls and tweaks at my nipples..and says the words i need to hear, and all is being set right in my world.
After a long OTK warm-up with His hand..a real treat!..i get on my tummy...and see the bath brush come out of His bag...now the bath brush..i have learned..is one of those love/hate toys.....He started slowly..and often turned it over to use the bristle side ..gently..all over. Hmmmm..so nice..of course He ended with a long hard flurry...also reminding me that thighs and legs..and all parts of my body are fair game.
Then it was leather time..i love His leather toys...the large strap..the small strap..the crop (amazing the places that can reach)....the horse hair flogger..and then my absolute favorite....the large leather flogger. I can never get enough of it. If i have any stress left in my body..the flogger pushes it all out...harder and faster....flowing freely around my body...it is when i usually feel myself "letting go" and floating...
Master's favorite leather is..i think..His whip. i think it is nice when it is soft and gentle...we probably all know how long that lasts. Last night He really got going...i kept telling myself..breathe, hang on, breathe, don't move, BREATHE.
Just when i was thinking it feels like He must drawing blood..which, of course, He was not....i feel Him rubbing the burn out, talking softly, praising me, admiring the stripes.....til He decides...there are a few spots with no stripes, and He starts again. This time is easier, He is telling me how pleased He is that i am willing to please Him in this way, to give Him the pleasure of whipping me, to serve Him in this way.
Time to turn over on my back..i take a deep breath and close my eyes. All of the leather toys are used again..yes even the whip. i have never been found of breast play..or pain. i have learned to tolerate it, and sometimes..enjoy it..a little..(Master will smile at this). He is tweaking and pulling at my breast..and then i feel the big pinch of clothes pins...and the whip..my hands are under the pillow used for my head...and are supposed to stay there..they come out..i get a warning...then move them again. This time, i am told to grab the clothe's pins and hold them up. i hesitate, but only for a second...pull higher..i do..finally He asks if i would like to put my hands back under the pillow and keep them there..Yes Sir! and i do..lesson learned.
During all of this Master is playing and teasing me, getting me just to the edge of an orgasm..and pulling away..and reminding me..no permission yet! Finally....He is filling me with His hand...and permission is granted..i honestly do not remember how often i made use of that permission..but it was often and intense!! :)
He is now besides me, hugging, holding me close, telling me how well i did, helping back to a "safe landing".
* i am heading out of town for a couple weeks..so my next few posts will be the start of a look back to the road Master and i have traveled in the last 8 years...
abby
i am sooo mellow this morning..Master and i had a wonderful session last night.
Our sessions always begin with me kneeling, naked, at His feet. He massages and rubs, and gets into my hair..and pulls and tweaks at my nipples..and says the words i need to hear, and all is being set right in my world.
After a long OTK warm-up with His hand..a real treat!..i get on my tummy...and see the bath brush come out of His bag...now the bath brush..i have learned..is one of those love/hate toys.....He started slowly..and often turned it over to use the bristle side ..gently..all over. Hmmmm..so nice..of course He ended with a long hard flurry...also reminding me that thighs and legs..and all parts of my body are fair game.
Then it was leather time..i love His leather toys...the large strap..the small strap..the crop (amazing the places that can reach)....the horse hair flogger..and then my absolute favorite....the large leather flogger. I can never get enough of it. If i have any stress left in my body..the flogger pushes it all out...harder and faster....flowing freely around my body...it is when i usually feel myself "letting go" and floating...
Master's favorite leather is..i think..His whip. i think it is nice when it is soft and gentle...we probably all know how long that lasts. Last night He really got going...i kept telling myself..breathe, hang on, breathe, don't move, BREATHE.
Just when i was thinking it feels like He must drawing blood..which, of course, He was not....i feel Him rubbing the burn out, talking softly, praising me, admiring the stripes.....til He decides...there are a few spots with no stripes, and He starts again. This time is easier, He is telling me how pleased He is that i am willing to please Him in this way, to give Him the pleasure of whipping me, to serve Him in this way.
Time to turn over on my back..i take a deep breath and close my eyes. All of the leather toys are used again..yes even the whip. i have never been found of breast play..or pain. i have learned to tolerate it, and sometimes..enjoy it..a little..(Master will smile at this). He is tweaking and pulling at my breast..and then i feel the big pinch of clothes pins...and the whip..my hands are under the pillow used for my head...and are supposed to stay there..they come out..i get a warning...then move them again. This time, i am told to grab the clothe's pins and hold them up. i hesitate, but only for a second...pull higher..i do..finally He asks if i would like to put my hands back under the pillow and keep them there..Yes Sir! and i do..lesson learned.
During all of this Master is playing and teasing me, getting me just to the edge of an orgasm..and pulling away..and reminding me..no permission yet! Finally....He is filling me with His hand...and permission is granted..i honestly do not remember how often i made use of that permission..but it was often and intense!! :)
He is now besides me, hugging, holding me close, telling me how well i did, helping back to a "safe landing".
* i am heading out of town for a couple weeks..so my next few posts will be the start of a look back to the road Master and i have traveled in the last 8 years...
abby
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Hello....
After much "urging" by my Master...and lots of lurking ...i am taking the plunge into blog world.
A bit about me...when i reached the age of 50, i found the nerve to type spanking into my computer's search engine..oh my!!! A few months later, i received my first spanking. The gentleman who initiated me into the world of spanking..became my Master 2 years later. Our M/s journey was started 6 years ago. He has thought me a lot about me, about acceptance, about never saying never.
I hope to touch others with this blog..as many of you have touched me. My entries will include a report on my sessions with Master, a look back at what we have been doing..and possible comments on topics that catch my attention.
After each session with Master i am to send Him a "feedback", sort of an open forum on my feelings. Master told me today, after our maintenance meeting, to report on the maintenance as my first post.
We started maintenance spankings about 10 weeks ago..they happen weekly, unless life really intrudes, and are not punishment or a fun play time or a heavy session. Master says they are to remind me who i am, who i belong to, and to keep me from earning a major punishment. So far it has worked pretty well.
Lately they have been with a small wooden paddle, over His lap...generally, like today, i get a warm-up with the paddle, then my bottom is bared and He gets more serious with the paddle. Today He finished with a fast flurry of hard spanks...something for me to remember when i was writing this. Tonight, as i sit here with a tender bottom, i know all is right with my world...
i hope to post at least a couple times a week...
til next time... abby
A bit about me...when i reached the age of 50, i found the nerve to type spanking into my computer's search engine..oh my!!! A few months later, i received my first spanking. The gentleman who initiated me into the world of spanking..became my Master 2 years later. Our M/s journey was started 6 years ago. He has thought me a lot about me, about acceptance, about never saying never.
I hope to touch others with this blog..as many of you have touched me. My entries will include a report on my sessions with Master, a look back at what we have been doing..and possible comments on topics that catch my attention.
After each session with Master i am to send Him a "feedback", sort of an open forum on my feelings. Master told me today, after our maintenance meeting, to report on the maintenance as my first post.
We started maintenance spankings about 10 weeks ago..they happen weekly, unless life really intrudes, and are not punishment or a fun play time or a heavy session. Master says they are to remind me who i am, who i belong to, and to keep me from earning a major punishment. So far it has worked pretty well.
Lately they have been with a small wooden paddle, over His lap...generally, like today, i get a warm-up with the paddle, then my bottom is bared and He gets more serious with the paddle. Today He finished with a fast flurry of hard spanks...something for me to remember when i was writing this. Tonight, as i sit here with a tender bottom, i know all is right with my world...
i hope to post at least a couple times a week...
til next time... abby
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