baseball bets are paid off...

This afternoon, Master and I met to settle up our recent bets on the Yanks/Red Sox series.

Master had the cuffs ready...I love those cuffs, they are lined with a soft fur, and make a great accessory...He has a wrist and an ankle set. Just having Him put them on me, and I feel my submission wash over me.
Then I was tied on my tummy to the bed. Being tied actually gives me the freedon to relax more, I don't have to worry about moving or concentrate on anything, but the sensations Master is creating.

Master's winning bet was that He would stripe me..with His cane. Without warm-up, He started right in on my bottom. He did stop after each short set, to rub and massage some of the sting away. After several sets He moved to my thighs, just because He can, reminding me that all of me is His. Then on to my back, this was a bit of a surprise...He started off horizontally across my back, then remembered that His Yanks wore straight up and down stipes, so went back over everything so I could have Yankee stripes. He was quiet pleased with Himself. All during this time Master had my new toy vibrating in me, warning me that I had better not let it slip out.

Then my turn, blindfolded and waiting to feel the relaxing sensation of my "wheelie" toy all over. He started out tracing my stripes with it, and then went on to other places. He had also turned up my vibrator a level, so my attention was somewhat divided between 2 sensations. After a break for more rubbing and some more massaging, He continued to "outline" other parts of my body. The blindfold, being tied, the vibrator, the feel of the prickly toy outlining, I was in my own little world. At one point I realized Master had spoken to me, and I asked Him to repeat...He just laughed.

Master then treated me to His horse hair flogger and the large leather flogger. My 2 favorite toys to come out of His bag. I had to be reminded that I did not have permission to cum, yet. An extra special little treat for me to have Master use these....thanks so much Master!

After several permissions, I was insisting I was done, but Master was showing me...not yet. Finally, all sensations quieted and I was just trying to catch my breath and come back to earth. Master and I had our quiet, cuddle time, and I came back to reality with a soft landing.

Master seems to have a wonderful sense of when I am ready to go with somehing new. I love that He pushes me to new experiences and sensations, while still having me feel perfectly safe.

The Yanks and the Sox have 2 more series to play yet this season...I cannot wait to see what play opportunities will arise with our wagers on those games.

abby

maintenance and.............shopping!

Maintenance day was today this week. I wanted to make sure that I mentioned it early to Master, since I have dropped the ball lately. Maintenance has come to be an important part of my submission, and Master has worked at being sure it happens weekly. This afternoon's maintenance started without a warm-up and it really stung right fromt the beginning. I tried to twist and see what He had chosen, since I could not tell. I could not see it, but He told me it was a lexan piece of shelving. He increased the strength of His spanks til I was really starting to squirm. Master stopped to let His fingers roam and play, and as I relaxed again, He picked up the paddle. He upped the speed and reminded me why we have maintenance...to keep me focused and away from punishment. Then I felt Him grab me around the waist and pull me in.....always a sign that He is about to rev things up a notch. No, it was not punishment, but it was close...thankfully it was a short volley.

Then it was play time, and it took no time for me to be so ready! Master prolonged giving me that first permission, til I think I was growling. I am always amazed when I think back to the sounds, noises really, that He seems to draw out of me. Finally, I heard...cum for me...and so of course,,,I did! We continued to play a while longer, then as I was getting dressed, Master asks if I wanted to go shopping?

We have talked about my getting myself a new toy...vibrator...I only have one, it is small, but it does the job. I looked on line and when I was telling Master what I had found, He suggested we should go shopping together. I agreed. I had slmost figured it was not going to happen, but I have learned to be patient...at least a little patient...

So I told Master I was ready to shop. Now, most of you know I am not a "young chick"... I am a retired school teacher with grandchildren. Today was my first visit into an adult toy store! It was interesting, lots of things in there.....some silly....some interesting...and some just...OMG!!!! As Master and I were looking at the available toys, Master and I had different opinions on what we should get....You can all guess who's opinion won out. So Master treated me to a new toy, but I somehow think He will get to enjoy it also...A surprising, fun, interesing afternoon!

abby

Red Sox and bumps in the road

I am a Red Sox fan, have been since I used to listen to them on the radio back when I was in Junior High. I love Fenway Park, it is like a street party every game! Master is a Yanks fan....oops...guess we are not totally compatable. We usually get a little wager going when they play each other, as they did this past weekend. Master asked if I was game, and I replied when Sox win I get to feel lots of leather, He decided that I would get stripped (cane) when the Yanks win. Guess I get stripes, He said He loves the look of me in stripes...

I did not get back to Him on Saturday's wager, so there was none...and Sox won. Sunday's game I wagered some time with a metal pin wheel toy I have, I just love the sensations of it being rolled all over my body, and I cannot remember the last time it was used. So that is what I chose, along with a blindfold, to add anticipation. Master stuck with the cane. Thankfully, my boys came through for me...and I get to relax and enjoy my little toy...after I am wearing Master's stripes.

That was the fun part of the weekend. Sunday night as we were chatting we hit a "bump in the road", it had to do with miscommunication, both of us not realizing we were on different wave lenghts, among a couple other issues. We talked, but I got frustrated, so we met again this afternoon. I was calmer, still a little upset, but Master has a way of talking things out and getting me to explain my feelings, and making sure that we cover all the bases...just to keep up with baseball! We worked it all out, and both learned a lesson, about what might be important to the other person.

One of the important realizations I have learned from Master is that, "bumps" can be smoothed and worked out....we just have to keep trying. It is good to feel that we are both once again reading the same book and on the same page.

abby

still at 2 for 2

I had to get to a funeral home for a friend's mom, and had dinner plans with a small group of friends, Master had a meeting at work that ran late, so getting spanked 2 days in a row is still my limit...my bottom is not complaining. It was interesting to imagine, a whole week of spnakings...guess somethings are better left to the imagination.
abby

2 for 2

Over the weekend, Master and I were were discussing the lack of maintenance last week, and how it happened. I said altho maintenance spankings are not fun, I did feel sad that we had missed a week. His comment was we will make it up next week, I replied something along he lines...that would be interesting. His next remark was...or maybe a spanking every day for a week. Now I have learned from past experiences to be careful what I reply when He casually makes a statement that totally wows me. If I express any doubt that He would do it, He becomes very determined to prove me wrong, if I don't reply He starts to question me. I honestly can't remember exactly what I said, I think I laughed and said something that might be much, even for me. That was the end of discussion.

Yesterday it was not mentioned, so I figured it must have been a thow away comment. Today, when we were discussing my plans for the day, He told me to be available late this afternoon, when He got out of work.

When I arrived the first thing I said, was that this was a bit of a surprise. His reply.....this is only day 2, there are 3 more to go...a whole week's worth! Now I have imagined a lot of things before I actually got spanked, and even more since, but the thought of being spanked every day, for 5 days in a row, has never been one of my fantasies. I am intrigued, and I trust Master ... so, we will see if we got to 5. If I were a betting person..I would be yes!

Back to today, we started out with some kneeling and focusing time. We chatted a little about yesterday's punishment, and some of the "loose ends" that we settled. Then, it was over His lap. He chuckled, a little, remarking how relaxed I was this afternoon over His lap. My bottom was marked a little from yesterday, but was not sore or tender. Still, it did not take long for the heat to build, both on my bottom and elsewhere. Master was quickly commenting on how wet and ready I was, and that I probably would cum even if all He did was keep spanking me. I was ready, I could feel it. He started to roam, and play, it took very little time for me to be begging for permission. I don't often plead, but I was so ready... and so spent after a string of permissions...maybe 4. We then had some quiet time, some coming back to earth cuddling, and more kneeling time. I have been spanked 2 days in a row before, but never 3....

abby

That dreaded basement....

My text message to Master this morning included my weigh in...a gain, but only 1/2 pound. His reply was that He would see me at lunch time. I was thinking that maybe he wanted to get maintenance in early this week, or maybe just some fun time to start the week. Boy was I ever WRONG!

I am rarely surprised by a punishment. Master's rules and consequences are clear, and I rarely resist, He expects me to accept them, since I have earned them. So when I arrived today, got a quick hug, then He opened the basement door I balked, and started to plead my case. It was only 1/2 pound, if I did not have a digital scale it would have been a stay the same, I certainly had not earned a besement punishment. He wasn't buying it, just kept pointing to the darn basement....do Florida houses have basements???

Once at the bottom of the stairs, Master "explained" that without a digital scale it might have shown a gain of 1 pound, and last week when He granted me a stay the same on the weekend, He also explained He was doubful it would work....my mind set is different when I am trying to stay the same...as opposed to losing.

I was told to bare myself and lean over the chair and stick my bottom out...my head was not in punishment mode at all...and that always makes things worse. I hesitated, but only for an instant and Master started in with the big, heavy paddle ball paddle...He bought it for 1 dollar at a garage sale, I would pay a lot more to have one of you buy it!

I was still a little upset at being punished, and was moving and ouching loudly. Master kept telling me to stick my bottom out, then I did something I rarely do anymore, I stood up. I was up before I realized what I was doing, surprising both myself and Master, Master looked at me and quietly said, back in position that will cost you 5 extra hard ones. He gave me a moment, and I was back on position. He gave me the penalty ones next, then went on with the punishment spanking. Finally I hear, 10 more til the end. I let out a big breath....then He continues you will count them for me. I hate counting, I hate that I have to concentrate one each stroke, and that once I have counted it is like saying go ahead give me another. But I counted, and added a Sir after each number and finished with a Thank You Sir, without being reminded.

I was waitig for permission to get up, when I felt His fingers start to roam. This never happens after a punishment, so I was a little confused, but decided I should just enjoy. Just as I was starting to pant and squirm, I hear....calm down, you are not getting a permission, this is solely for my enjoyment. I slowed my breathing and try to think of anything else but what was happening. Master is finally done, and I get permission to stand.

I stand and absentmindedly pull up my pants...Master notices and gives me the "look". I realize what I have done, apologize and put them back down. He allows me a rub.

We then chat about last week, the lack of maintenance and my plans for this week. One of my rules is I am to ask for permission before going anyplace that I have to drive to...it is not all that restrictive, I practically always get a yes, and a quick response to a text. I have always considered it a reminder that Master is in charge of me...nothing more. He does not like me to ask far in advance, prefers the request to come on the day that I need them. Often I was asking for permission for plans that I had made a few days before. I brought up that I was planning to go out to dinner on Thursday with some friends, He asked about my planning without permission. I replied that was always the case, He wanted me to ask on the day I was going, so I considered it a kind of formality.

Needless to say that has changed. I need to ask for permission before I make the plans, and should not take a yes answer for granted. I got permission for Thursday night, but since I was the one who planned the dinner, I need to call and adjust the time..a litte later or earlier, for not asking before planning. Truthfully I never thought asking after I had made the plans made much sense,except as a reminder that Master is in charge. Master reminded me that I do better when I am sure of His control, and with little wriggle room, since giving me an inch almsot always mean I try for a foot. He wants us to be solid.

After I left I went to mail a package at the Post Office...yes I had permission. There was a line of 25 people..at a small Office! I was mailing a birthday gift that needed to go out today, so I took my place in line. The lady in front of me asked if she had fallen asleep and missed summer and fall, and it was really Christmas..with everyone mailing packages..LOL. As i was standing there I was processing my time with Master. I realized how lucky I am to have someone in my life, a Master even, who cares for me, takes care of me, and wants to be sure that we stay connected and strong. A hot, tender bottom, does not seem like a high price to pay!

abby

"no news"

For the first time since we started maintenance spankings...almost 1 1/2 years...maintenance did not happen this past week. We were both in town all week, and did try, but that thing called " real life", was in charge. We tried, starting on Wednesday, but it was not to be. As much as maintenance spankings are not 'fun' spankings, it made me sad. I've been around long enough to know that we were pretty luck to have made it 18 months before this happened, but still.....

My weigh in last friday was a loss, of over a pound! I have had the munchies all day today, so I am not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh- in.

My son completed his first 1/2 triathelon this week...WOW! He's been training for a few months, his wilfe is training to run 1/2 marathon. Who are these 2?? I am very proud of both of them.

Looks like another hot, dry week here...hope you all have a good week!

abby

what goes down....comes up??

I have had an up and down past few days. Last week was one of those where all feels right ... I was focused, calm, relaxed, happy with my little piece of the world. I felt I was finally beginning to let some major walls crumble. Yesterday, I woke up to doubts, questions, and I started to go within myself. Master says I go quiet on Him...not a good sign. I knew that Master was having an extra busy day, so I decided to just try and ignore my feelings.

Of course that did not work too well. I think I talked myself into a mild panic and thought that maybe instead of letting those walls crack I should be putting them back up. It wasn't really what I wanted, but the thought of being that open, scared me.

Master, who claims he can hear my thoughts and feel my moods at a distance, knew that something was not right. He let me know this morning, that He would see me this afternoon. We hugged, chatted, had some kneeling time, during which He repeated to me, that busy or not, I am still supposed to keep in touch with Him. He understands my reasoning, wanting to not bother Him, but it is not what He wants or expects. Calls, texts, reports are all to continue, I am not being a pest....I am doing what He wants. He asked if I understood, I replied, Yes Sir, but too quietly, and He had me answer Him several more times, before he was satisfied.

While I was over His lap, He asked why I had "gone quiet". I said it did not matter anymore, I did not want to talk about it. Not quite the answer He wanted. He said He was going to start spanking my thighs, and would stop when I started talking. He started off lightly, but continued with no breaks. My thighs are a lot more sensitive than my bottom. After a while he said, You can stop this when you decide to talk, I am not stopping until you talk. I finally had enough and decided to talk.

We discussed some long standing fears, and my thinking I needed to start shoring up some walls, along with a couple other concerns. Master always, is excellent at getting to the crux of the matter, making me see it in another light, and assuring me that I am not going crazy. He did say that if I dared to start rebuilding any walls, He was going to use the largest paddle He had to break them down....think I won't go to the trouble of rebuilding them.

I was still over His lap. I used to hate chatting while in that position, but it does have it's advantages. He started to spank again....on my bottom. He only used His hand....but His hand can be plenty hard, plus He tends to roam...an added advantage. I am always surprised, at how quickly He can get me squirming and moaning, His voice, His look, His wonderful hands...every part of Him...just seems to get my "juices" flowing. Several permissions later, I was spent and content with the knowledge, that I am His.

Another plus for today was that I convinced Master that a stay the same weigh in was acceptable for Mondays. He did say, because He was giving me an inch, I should not try to turn it into a foot...as I am apt to do:) abby

The "M" word

I hope you are all keeping cool. We broke a record here today, 98! I am a summer girl, but this is a bit too much for me!

As I was getting my hair cut today I was thinking about this past week. Suddenly my thought process went to...Yikes it is Thursday. I have not mentioned the M word to Master...maintenance. It is my responsibility to check with Master and find a time for my weekly maintenance spanking, and He does not like for me to wait til Friday to bring it up.

As soon as my hair was done, I called Master and brought up the "M" word. He chuckled and said to plan on this afternoon. When we first started maintenance, I looked forward to it, I could not imagine that I was actually going to get spanked every single week...and for over a year now I have been, most weeks more than once.

Master views maintenance as a way for us to connect, but also as a way to avoid a more serious punishment spanking. For the most part, it has worked, punishments are certainly less frequent, and there is never a thought of me "testing" or or trying to earn a spanking. But maintenance spankings are not fun, they are serious, and they hurt.

As the afternoon approached I kept thinking it has been over 3 weeks since my last maintenance spanking, I hope Master remembers that and goes easy on me. I was nervous. I even decided to wear a new pair of black undies I had bought just for Him, hoping He would let me leave them on.
He admired them and told me to take them off! RATS!

I was told to bend over a chair and stick my bottom out. I looked back to see he had the big, heavy paddle ball paddle in His hands. I gave him a look, and He reminded me the purpose of maintenance and said only 12...hard ones. I muttered my yes Sir, He reminded me to breathe as He started in.

He did stop to rub and roam and touch after each couple of swats, but they did HURT....He claimed I should not concentrate on my bottom, but try to direct the pain elsewhere....I soo wanted to say, "then stop directing the pain at my bottom", but I have learned that somethings are better said just to myself.

We finally got to the last 3, which of course were going to be the hardest ones. He did give me 2 very hard ones, and the last was not quite so hard. He continued His rubbing and roaming, until I was squirming, and feeling the heat not on my bottom, but elsewhere. Permission was finally granted for my release, and I was allowed to stand.

Master had put the paddle down and I reached over to touch it, then changed my mind. Master was grinning and said you may touch. I said what I really wanted to do was smack His bottom so He coud direct the pain elsewhere.....but I wasn't sure I was ready for the consequence. Master thought that was rather amusing, saying He does not see the brat in me very often, it could be entertaining, but there would be consequences.
I am still debating if they might not be worth it...stay tuned.

Master then sat and told me to sit on His lap. I always get a little flustered when He wants this, I always think...I won't fit, I will be too heavy for Him, etc. He gave me the look, so I sat. He reassured me He was comfortble and His legs were not going to be damaged. Then He hugged me tightly and started to rock gently back and forth, and I totally relaxed.

I felt so safe, cared for, and content sitting on my Master's lap....what a great way to end the afternoon!

abby

Remember me?

Yes, I am finally back....I have spent the last 3 weeks being entertained by a delightful 3 year old, and meeting the newest member of the family...a red haired little (well not so little) guy. When I was telling Master how cute he was, Master corrected me. Handsome, he told me was the proper term for a boy...not cute. LOL...he is cute and handsome!

Keeping up with a 3 year old, kept me very busy. We did a lot of swimming...no floating, swimming, playing school and library, cooking, making posters...since she knows all her letters!

I knew being away for so long was likely to be a major problem for my diet. I really tried to be conscious of what and how much I was eating, figuring the swimming and walks would take care of the exercise. I was hoping to have stayed the same, knowing that would be a good report, since going away often means a gain. TA-DAH...I loss a little over 2 pounds...both Master and I are very pleased.

Master and I have reconnected with a massage, kneeling time, a wonderful hand spanking, and the granting of many permissions. He always seems to know just what to say and do to have me purring (and yelling). More importantly to welcome me back so that I know I am where I belong, where I can be "me".

I have started to try to catch up on all of your blogs, it will take a while. I am mostly reading, leaving a quick commnent on some, I love hearing about what you have been up to!

abby

I'm off to meet the newest member of the family!

I got a call from my daughter yesterday from the OB's office. Yes, it made me hold my breath! They are recommending a C section on Monday, instead of waiting another week. My daughter who is 9 months along, said what any woman who has been carrying a "bowling ball" around....YES!

Master and I took some time this afternoon to say good bye.
Of course part of saying good bye, for at least 2 weeks, includes kneeling time and spanking. After kneeling time, I surprised Master with new "undies", I was not all that happy with them , they were really sheer and see through, but Master thought they were great and even let me keep them on for part of the spanking.

We enjoyed a long hand spanking, slowly building. My bottom was heating up more quickly than usual, still a little tender from the 2 spankings earlier this week. I just realized...3 apankings in one week, not so long ago that was the stuff of dreams and will never happen!

Of course the panties slowly came down, as Master's hands started to wander. He has this habit of rubbing and pulling and thrusting, and gets me going, and then He decides He wants to discuss a few things. So far I have not screamed, could You just concentrate on 1 thing please! But responding to Him takes a lot of concentration and determination. We were discussing, or trying to, my being able to stay focused while away, and not return having gained...my weigh in was a 2 pound loss this week!

Soon I was panting, and beyond conversation. After my first couple orgasm, Master started spanking me again. He wanted me to cum just from the spanking sensations. Master told me to be sure that I added...I came all over my Master's lap just from His hand spanking...more than once!
I am always amazed when that happens.

Then it was time to say good bye. I will be away at least 2 weeks, depending on how quickly my daughter recovers. With my oldest grandaughter (3), I was going to stay a week, and for several reasons, stayed over 3. I, of course will miss Master, I always do so much more than I think I will. I am lucky and blest that I have the time and ability to be there for
the births of my grandchildren, and to help out, and that Master understands that need and blessing. I will try to give a quick update, on the new arrival!

abby

2 days....2 spankings

Today was maintenance for this week...the day after a major punishment!
No, Master is not being cruel...at least not this time. My oldest daughter is due to give me a grandson any day now. Her first pregnancy was full of problems, ending in an emrgency C-section and my daughter in ICU for 2 days. All turned out find..healthy mom and a beautiful baby girl. She and hubby had been told they would not be able to have more children...then she got pregnant last October. I was thrilled for them, and very scared. Thanks to many prayers, baby boy stayed put, and it has been a fairly normal pregnancy!@

As soon as she calls that she is in labor, I will head over to help with my grand-daughter, they live about 4 1/2 hours drive from here. So, knowing that I could get that call at anytime, when Master called today I asked if we could have maintenance during the early part of this week. I was thinking Wednesday...my bottom is not sore, but bruised from yesterday.
Master says He has time early this afternoon, and might be busy tomorrow.
UGH, I simply said, guess I will see you this afternoon.

When I got there, Master asked if I was hoping for tomorrow, I admitted I was, He congratulated me for simply saying yes. He was pleased that I took the iniative to ensure that maintenance would happen. So, I am thinking, He is pleased, a nice hand spanking won't be too bad.

After some kneeling time, I am told to get over the back of the sofa. UMmmm...not a hand spanking position, usually. Then I hear the belt...UGH. I love leather, but was sure it would light up my bottom quickly. After 3 strokes, the fire had been lit, I stayed in position, and Master made it quick, with lots of rubbing.

He then sat and invited me to get over His lap, a short hand spanking, and lots of roaming and touching and rubbing and a few orgasms later, I was pretty much jello. Master said He wanted me to get myself wet, and swollen and ready, and then to ask for permission tonight,,,such a chore, LOL...

Master was very pleased with my submission and attitude, and repeated to me, I can do anything I set my mind to. With His help and encouragement, I can!

I will keep you posted on the new grand baby news, if she has not delivered by July 1st it will be C section day. I will staying for about 2 weeks to help out...lucky me!

abby

consistency....be careful what you wish for...

I think most would agree that one of the most important factors in making a power exchange relationship work is consistency. When I first met Master, it was just to get an occasional spanking, as we progressed through the stages of our relationship, consistency became an issure. At first the lack of it, not always, but occasionally. He would threaten, and after about the 5th time I figured out it was a threat, and not much of a motivator. At times it would be so long between spankings that a promised punishment would be forgotten. As we traveled down the M/s path, Master realized the importance of consistency. Now if a punishment is not delivered I am thrilled, until I start to get "antsy" and uneasy and Master realizes what is missing.

As much as I know how important consistency is, there are times when I wish for some wriggle room....like today.

I gained a pound over the weekend, the same pound I had lostlast week, so there has been no progress in a couple of weeks, at least. When Master has to punish for the same reason a second time, it makes Him think He did not do a good enough job the first time, I disagree, He always does a good job!

I sent in my report asking for clemency..."nope" was the reply. I tried all the excuses I could think of, He was not buying any of them. I know how much last week's paddling had hurt, and I did not want another one.

Now, Master does not grab me by the hair and force me to be punished, so we started this afternoon by talking. What's been going on in my head, why was I struggling so, and what happens when I get out of a deserved punishment. Master wants me to submit to my punishment and I finally submitted, just not all that graciously. Master sent me to the basement to get ready , and to be in position and waiting for Him. I was, although it was a while...thinking time , I suppose.

Master told me to ask nice for my punishment, for a hard punishment. It took me a long time to get the words out, and the sincerety seemed to be missing. He told me to get up and look Him in the eyes.

We talked some more. I said I wasn't sure I could lose anymore. He replied He knew I could, I just had not decided that I really wanted to. He continued, He had seen me when I was determined, and nothing could stop me. If I wasn't in a place where I wanted it for myself, then I was doing it to please Him. eventually I was ready to get back on position.

I asked for my hard paddling punishment in a stronger voice. Master reminded me that this was the second punishment in a week for the same reason, so this one would be longer, harder.

He was using the same big, think, heavy paddle as last week. I really struggled through the first 10. Master stopped and asked why I was struggling so....(DUH)...it hurts was my obvious answer. His reply was that He was not yet spanking as hard as last week, and I had taken harder spankings, without such fussing and moving. I had not pleased Him, and my head was not in the right place, He put the paddle on my back and told me not to let it drop while He gave me a little time to get myself refocused.

By the time Master was ready to start again, I was more ready. I managed to hold my position, and be quieter. Master was using sets of 10, and giving a tiny bit of recovery time between sets. He finally asked if I was ready to end this punishment...Yes Sir...realizing that the hardest were yet to come. He told me to count, loudly. I counted the first one..One Sir...He said I forgot the thank You. He did not start over, this time. There were 10, each one a little harder. I tried to get the count out as soon as I could just to get done. He gave me the last 2 in rapid fire.

He rubbed my bottom a little, and told me to get up and give Him a hug. He checked my bottom again, and said could not have been that bad, no marks...I do have marks tonight. He then sat in the chair and told me to sit on His lap. The first time Master told me to site on His lap, I looked at Him as if He were nuts. I was much heavier and had not sat in anyone's lap in a very long time. He insisted, and although it does not happen often, it does give me a feeling of safety and being cared for. He eventually reached over and started to rub and play...He continued until I was wet, hot and panting.....at which time he told me to get up. Punishment...no cumming for me.

Before I left Master did say that if we end up in the basement again anytime soon, He will get out His long, heavy paddle, and use 2 hands to swing it...it's up to me. I hate it when He says it is up to me...my choice. I understand why He says it more than I used to, but I still don't like it.

Consistency..it works...I am lucky that Master believes in it...but sometimes...the words "wriggle room" are the words I long for...

abby

Dad.....

When I was awake enough to think this morning, I realized it was father's day....my first without being able to call and hear his voice and his laugh. He would be full of questions...a new great grandson is due to be born at any day...and dad did love us all...but new additions to the family were special!

All morning I have been thinking about the things that I remember most about dad..

...He worked 2 jobs, one was a summer job at a local racetrack. We would show up on sunday afternoons, dad would take a break and give us each ( 4 of use) 2 dollars. We were to read the horse's names and pick out a winner. Mom would place the bet for us...if any of us picked a winner, it was ice cream time!

...Whenever I asked mom to go someplace and she said, wait til your dad gets home and ask him...I grinned...dad always asked tons of questions, but rarely said no (after asking what did your mom say, of course!)

...Watching dad rocking the newest little members of the family and whistling the whole time. My granddaughter, as soon as dad picked her up eventually would pucker her lips and blow! Naps were in dad's arms, with dad watching over his newest little one.

...When the babies were toddlers, dad would take them for a walk, collect rocks, come home and teach them how to paint rocks! It soon became a favorite activity, and many of those rocks still "decorate" all of our homes. Last time I was in Boston I introduced my youngest granddaughter to the joys of painting rocks. I sent a phone picture to here dad, he replied...memories!

...As soon as the grandchildren could count and sit still, dad taught them all how to play cribbage...not sure who is going to have the patience to teach the great grands! He was so patient, until they were good enough to beat him, then he showed them no mercy!

...Dad was a quiet man, accepting of everyone and their choices. Every time anyone visited and left, he always left us with..."Be good, if you can't be good have a good time", my mom always cringed.

...As each granddaughter brought a partner to meet "pepere", he was given a third degree, marrying one of his granddaughters was a privilege

I love you dad...and I miss you...
abby

maintenance, those "voices"

Usually after a harsh punishment like I had on Tuesday, I am calm and focused for quite a while. I have been focused this week, but those darn little voices that reside in my head made an appearance on Thursday. I am familiar with those voices, and they usually lead right down the path to TROUBLE. Only this time they seemed to be making sense.

Master always has more than 1 project going..in addition to work and family and friends, so He is always busy. But it seems lately He has been busier than ever. That the voices and I agreed on. My problem was that one of my rules is that I am the one responsible for making the arrangements for making maintenance happen...every single week...no matter what...or maintenance turns into punishment, and then maintenance.

Master has been so busy, and seemed so stressed, I had to agree with those voices, my punishment could count as maintenance for this week. Yes, the voices and I made that decision on our own. I did not want Master to feel like He had to find time to aqueeze me in, I was only thinking of Him..I truly was!

This morning while we are texting He tells me to be available at 3 this afternoon. Then around 1 He calls and asks what I am doing. I was on facebook. He decides we will meet in 10 minutes, I do say if He is too busy... but He says 10 minutes.

I arrive we hug, chat, and Master starts to undress me....kneeling time, to be sure that I am focused, some breast play, that I must say I tolerated very well. Then I am directed over His lap, He tells me He is pleased...I lost a little over a pound this week, and He is warming up my bottom very nicely, I am sooo relaxed.

Then He stops and asks if I am going to ask for this week's maintenance, since it is now Friday afternoon and I have not asked...yet. I answer that I have noticed He is very busy lately and....He jumps in, maintenance is every week, no matter what....that is the rule. I take a breath and ask nicely for my weekly maintenance. Master generously just says yes, not mentioning that I did not really make the arrangements. Maintenance is a harder hand spanking. He asks if He has to take off His belt....saying even though it is leather, which is my favorite, He can make me think it is not so nice. No Sir, I quickly reply, remember your rules, Young lady! (Thank You Sir, for letting me off that hook...)

Usually after a punishment I am not allowed to cum. Last Tuesday evening, I so wanted to cum, I took a chance and asked Master for permission. His reply was to rub and play and when I was very close to ask again. This was something new, but it was not a no, so I did as was instructed and received permission. This afternoon, master proceeded to demonstrate exactly what He wanted me to do to get myself "ready" and how wet I had to be for next time. I asked if He would actually say no when I was ready ...He gave me that look and said I will do whatever I want...and get whatever I want...I take that as a possible yes.

Finally, Master was telling me to cum, to show Him how ready I was. I was soo ready, and off I went. As i was recovering Master started to spank my pussy, softly and steadily. I don't remember that happening before, but it felt nice...good...and finally arousing. Master was using His voice, telling me to cum for Him, to let go, to show Him how obedient I can be...and cum I did...just from that pussy spanking. I am always still amazed and what He can get me to do...I would have bet more money than I will ever have a couple years ago, that a pussy spanking would not be something I would ever enjoy, cum from, or even allow...

A great way to end the week,
abby

Catching up....

Like a lot of you, it has been a busy few weeks. Right after I returned from Boston, Master and I met for my maintenance spanking. He used His belt and it was fairly intense, but it was what I needed.

The following day, my 22 month old grand-daughter, and her mom and dad, flew in to attend a family wedding. They were here 6 days and we packed a lot in...children's museum, zoo, a working farm, library...we have a wonderful children's area, and she already wants to read "self"..on her own, a visit to the great lake, a few play grounds, and a couple of ice ream outings. It was a lot of fun, they left today, and I am one tired grandma!!

Master had warned me that I still had to weigh in and report. Last Friday I had stayed the same, Monday I gained a little over a pound and a half. Master hates "going backwards", and spending time re-loosing pounds already lost once.

When I went to Master today, He was standing in front of the basement door...not an encouraging sign. We said hello, hugged and He opened the door. I sighed, gathered myself, and headed down the stairs. He did ask if I was surprised, and I had to admit no, but was hoping that maybe the basement would not be involved....major Punishments always take place in the basement.

After I undressed, I knelt and Master reminded me why we were in the basement. He was not pleased at my actions, I had not kept up with several of His expectations, and splurged with my eating. He had me lean over the front of a chair and spead my legs. I was told to NOT let go of that chair.

I felt the coolness of wood, but I did not look back. It was Master's paddle ball paddle, it is thick and large. Punishments mean no warm-ups, no rubbing in between sets, and no permissions for me. I managed to count the first set, and there were 12 hard smacks, alternating sides. He repeated this set, and I was barely managing to breathe through them. Master then warned me that the next set would be all on the same side, with the other side's turn for a set following. At this point I started to ouch and yell loudly. Master said ouching and yelling and crying are all allowed, not allowed is letting go of the chair or being disrespectful.

After the second side I did ask if we could be done....no was the answer. Another set that covered all my bottom. Then Master said, ...you can choose. I hate hearing those words during a Punishment, if I really could choose it would be over. Of course that is not one of the choices, and there is never really a good choice. My choice was 12 more harder ones....harder ones??? ...or 24 of the same kind. See...no good choice. I just wanted it over with so I chose the 12 harder ones, and He threw in I had to thank Him after each one. I also really dislike having to say something after each stroke, it is like saying to Him,... go ahead,spank me again. They were harder, and I did say, Thank You Sir, quietly after each one, with the last one being the hardest of all. Master did continously rub my back during these, helping me to stay connected to Him, which helped me.

While I was still in position, Master let His fingers do some roaming. He remarked, I was quite "wet", and proceeded to rub and play until I was squirming...just because I am being punished does not mean he can't have some fun. I did not get a permission, no rewards when being Punished.

It was then time for hugging and forgiveness...and a reminder that maintenance still needs to be scheduled this week. He added, maybe it does not need to be a big deterrant this week...I probably already have "felt" that message!

Yes, I hate these punnishment sessions. Master never goes easy on me. but once they are done, I know that all is right again, and I feel like I have been re-set, to being the submissive Master wants, deserves and appreciates.

abby

AHHH---CHOO!

Hello all....

I am typing this through watery, itchy eyes, and stuffiness, and sneezing. Allergies had not bothered me the last couple years, but this year must be really bad..UGH!

I returned from Boston yesterday. My weekend with my mom was bittersweet, harder than I expected. My time with my grand-daughter was wonderful! I introduced her to the joys of pasting..with a glue stick, some new songs, and how to make chocolate chip cookies!

When I got back to town yesterday, my first stop was to see Master, it had been wayyyyy toooo long. We got caught up, I had a wonderful, too short, welcome home spanking, and some play time ! Master warned me I had to send in a report this morning, and He was not going to be happy with a gain. I never weigh myself when I am away....much to Master's puzzlement.

Running around with a 21 month old must be as good as the wii...I lost almost 1 pound...pretty good for being away 10 days!

This is a busy week, kids flying in on Thursday for a family wedding on Sunday. I went out shopping with my youngest daughter looking for something to wear to said wedding. She had picked out a dress that we both thought was cute, but it looked small to me, so I asked what size it was. I told her I needed at least 1 size larger, she said try it....and guess what I am wearing to the wedding!

abby

Pretend this is last night

I was supposed to write and post last night. I did think of it early on, but then got busy, forgot, and remembered today while I was driving to Boston.

Yesterday was maintenance day. I had been shopping the day before for some new "undies"...I had asked Master for permission to go on a scouting mission. The shopping was fun, there is lots of stuff out there, and deciding what to buy was difficult. I did find some sales, so I stuck to those items. I tried them on when I got home. I was pleased that they fit, I had brought them in a non plus size store, in a size I have not worn for a while..and they fit! Did I feel sexy when I looked in the mirror....honestly...no...I thought...darn I should lose more weight. But they did feel nice.

I wore the balck lace bra and panties to maintenance. I have to admit, dressing in something special for Master was more exciting than just wearing the usual. We chatted for a bit when I arrived and then He told me to undress and He stood there watching with great interest...made me a little squirmy. He approved....very much so! I even got to keep the bra and panties on, until He peeled them down during my spanking. Maintenance was a long hand spanking...my favorite kind of maintenance! We had extended play time after...leaving me very breathless.

We talked about the fact that I would be leaving today, too soon after I just returned home. I am in Boston for a couple days, before I take my grand daughter and go to see my mom. She has been wanting me to come for a while, and since this weekend is Memorial Day and would have been mom and dad's 63 anniversary, I decided this would be a good time.

I will be away for about 10 days, and Master expects me to stick to my rules ,,,, and no gaining, or I could be facing one of those nasty basement sessions. I promised to try...I have leaarned that gaining just means I have to lose it again...and that is a lot of work for no progress.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend...
abby

I

to be or not to be........sexy

When I saw Master this afternoon, after the hugs, one of the first things He said was that I had left something out of my account of my weekend. One of my newest rules, is that I have to ask for permission for any trip outiside the county...and since I have to ask for local trips and errands, that means permission for all excursions. Asking for family and trips with friends has been difficult for me to accept. It is not that I worry that Master will say no just because He can, mainly He just wants to know when I will leave and return, and what I have planned. When the trip to Sesame Place was brought up by my kids, it sounded great, we made plans, chose dates, and found a motel. All before I had asked Master about it. So, my punishment was that I had to wear my plug for the trip to my daughter's. It is about a 4 1/2 hour trip, Master said I could call or text half way to see if I could be more comfortable for the rest of the trip. He did allow that, nice Master that He sometimes is....and He made His point...ask before planning, for both have to and want to trips.

I weighed in this morning to plus 1/2 pound, considering I spent 2 days at a theme park and back problems have made exercise not probable until today, I was pleased. Master, of couse, said it showed good effort, but he expected a loss...No going backwards is His mantra. He had His little brush paddle, and warmed me up with it, and then it was a farily quick hard spanking.

Master then remarked that I alsways wear plain cotton white panties. Actually I do have colored ones, and on the days that I feel really daring, I have ones with patterns. He asked if I had sexier ones...my reply was no. I don't, for a long time I have not considered myself sexy, I hear a long ago voice in my head reaffirming that. Master has showed me that I am sensual, and that orgasms can and do come in multiples. Master said I needed to change my mindset, I have lost 60 pounds, and I need to think of myself as sexy. I don't know,,,I am not young or skinny or pretty, sexy is a pretty tall order. He gave me the task of looking at pics of sexy bras and panties, and sending Him a pic of those I liked.

I have been trying to think of when was the last time I shopped for pretty or sexy underthings....I am guessing college or slightly after. I told Master that clothes, or undies do not make a person sexy. He knows that, but they might help. Hmmmmm..sexy....can I change how I see myself?
I don't know.

abby

I do not live in a rose garden

..Hope you all had a great weekend...mine was loads of fun! Sesame Place was a big hit with my 2 grand-daughters. Seeing them dance with Elmo and Mr. Noodles, and hug Big Bird, splash in the water park, and ride the rides with grandma, was a big hit with me!

My last post listed the some of the changes that have occured since I met Master. I chose to list all positive changes, since the good far outweighs the bad. But no, we do not exist in a perfect rose garden. Relationships are a tricky business, real life can be difficult, ups, downs, sometimes even sideways. Journeys are exciting, but also have detours.

There have certainly been times when either Master or I have wondered if we should continue, luckily never both at the same time. Rose gardens come with sweet smells, pretty flowers and lots of thorns....
abby

Change...Growth....or...Discovery

I woke up Monday morning wondering how I was going to get out of bed...and once I managed that, walking was near impossible. I found my heating pad and muscle relaxants and went back to bed. By evening I managed a shower. Yesterday was much better, and today better still...for that I am very thankful.

Master and I met today for maintenance. I am leaving tomorrow to spend a few days with both grand daughters and their parents at Sesame Street World...talk about fun! Since I am trying to be careful of my back, Master decided to eliminate kneeling time, and maintenance consisted of a short hand spanking, and a little play time, and of course His repeating to me that I am always His, and His expectations follow me ..even when I am in the company of Elmo and Big Bird!

I have been thinking about writing an entry on changes for a while now...PK over at "New Beginnings" recently wrote about changes in her life, so I decided to stop thinking and get writing.

A few months ago, after a fairly intense session, I thanked Master for changing me, He replied, without hesitation, He had not changed me. He had helped me to grow and discover the "me" that was always there. It was not an answer I expected, so I kept quiet and thought about it. I really think this is a case where we are both right...yes, He certainly has made it possible for me to dig deep and discover a me, that might never have seen the light of day. He positively has helped me to grow. But that growth and discovery have led to major changes...so I guess we are both right. I do recognize that in case of a tie...Master always wins!!!

What changes? One that is obvious to everyone, the physical change. I have lost 60 pounds! It's hard to believe I can even say that. I know I will not re-gain them. I still have more to go, but 60 pounds is truly amazing to me.

Secondly, acceptance of who I am. A very long time ago, a gentleman I was corresponding with, referred to me as a submissive. I laughed and vehemently denied it. NO WAY...NOT ME. Master and I had known each other for 2 years, before that word came up again. Master led me down the road to acceptance slowly, always making me feel safe and accepted.

Sexually Master has brought me to a whole new world. Multiple oragasm are the norm, and my body...no matter what the weight....is nothing to be ashamed of. I am a sexual being, I should relish and enjoy that, it is a good thing. I figure that the multiple orgasms are helping me to make up on all the ones I missed before Master!

Looking at a bigger picure of me, Master has helped me to become a calmer more open person. He has taught me to relax and enjoy, without having to be the one in charge. He is always willing to listen and help me come to a decision, reassuring me that I am not going crazy. Over the years, I had constructed lots of very strong and large walls. They are coming down, something I was sure would never happen. Pieces of them are still there, but those walls are more fragile with lots of cracks in them...I did not think anyone could do that. I can now ask for help, and not be embarrassed.

Positive changes, some of which I never thought possible. Overall , I am calmer, more positive, open, sexual and content. Those changes make me believe that I am a very lucky submissive indeed!

abby

Maintenance....on a still tender bottom

...I returned home after my punishment on Tuesday with a very sore bottom. It is rare for me to still be sore the day after, tender maybe but not sore. Tuesday nite I thought of Master each and every time I rolled over, and sitting on Wednesday, made me catch my breath. I texted Master when I first woke up on Wednesday, telling Him about my nite....His reply was,...good!!..which was what I expected. To my surprise, the same thing happened Wednesday nite, and all day Wednesday sitting was not a happy time. Two days after a spanking and still sore...Master had outdone Himself.

On Wednesday morning when I texted Master to tell Him I was still very sore, His reply was....and you still have maintenance for this week. Honestly, for the first time since we started maintenance..a little more than a year...the word had not even crossed my mind. When we talked later in the day, I asked if we could wait until Friday, He does not like to wait until Friday, so He said maybe.

We did wait until today, my bottom is still tender, but not as sore. We started with hugs and some kneeling time, which is really shutting out the whole rest of the world time...and I have started to really look forward to that time. Master also reminded me, that no matter what other spankings I get during the week, maintenance will still happen. During this time, Master had me put my head down, bottom up, so He could examine the marks on my bottom. They are still there, a little faded. The ones on my breasts and thighs are just about gone.

Then it was over Master's lap for the spanking. Master reminded me that to be effective maintenance has to be a serious spanking. I was very happy to feel Him start off with His hand. It was a long and hard hand spanking, and rekindled the fire in my bottom, knowing I was still very tender, the spanking ended with just His hand.

Then came a little discussion. One of my more recent rules, is that I need Master's permission before I make the final plans for a trip. For a couple years now, I have had to ask for permission to go any place from home. I was a little hesistant about this rule, but it turns out to be not nearly as restrictive as it sounds. Master is very good at answering a text, and the asking really reminds me that I am His submissive.

A few months ago, Master decided He wanted me to start asking for permission for all trips. Although I know that Master does not say no just fo the sake of saying no, I was very hesistant about this. He simply wants to know when I will leave and return, and where I will be. He also would like me to limit time away to 1 week. So far it has not caused a problem, although I still am uncomfortable with the asking.

When I returned from my recent trip to Boston, Master asked when the next trip was....and I started right in telling Him we were all...both granddaughters and moms and dads...going to Sesame Street Place for a weekend in May. As I was telling Him about the plans, I realized He was quiet....til He said, You told them you would go and the plans are all set, and this is the first time I hear about it. GULP Sooo....I quickly asked if I could go and explained that we had talked about it, and since it was just a weekend I figured it was not a problem. I kept saying to Master, but it is just a weekend, and He kept saying, You made plans without asking for permission. He also pointed out that this is a "want to, and not a have to" trip. So Master said we would discuss it again later.

Well, the trip is next weekend, and I have been good and not mentioned it again. But today I had to ask again. The plan is to leave Thursday afternoon, got to my daughter's, and on Friday we would all meet up at Sesame Place. Master said I could go, but He wanted me to wait til Friday to leave, as my punishment for not asking before planning. I told Him that I would have to leave between 3 and 4 in the morning to make it to Sesame Place by 10....and that my daughter who lives here was coming with me. Master said, since my daughter was coming along, I could leave on Thursday, but that I would find out that there might be worse things than getting up at 3 AM....He is going to let me know what that is next week...I may be travelling with a very sore bottom, or a filled on. "You will learn to ask before planning", is an exact quote...and I guess I will. As I thought about this, I have come to realize to...just a weekend...is not a good excuse. It could be just and overnight, and I would still need to ask.

abby

Re-set!

Master re-set me this afternoon...that's His word for it. I am sitting here stripes on my thighs, my breast, and of course my bottom...a bottom that is still burning.

My weigh-in last Friday was a 1 pound lost...I was happy, but even more surprised! I had those munchies and chocolate cravings all week, I got a mixed basket of Godiva from one granddaughter and a whoopie pie package from the other. I had not sent in a daily report, since I was "indulging". A 1 pound lost was almost a miracle, I should have thanked the diet gods and got back on track.

I had a girls' nite out on Saturday, we saw a show, went out to dinner, then to a house for chocolate martinis and munchies. Sunday was mother's day...enough said.

The diet gods left me to my own fate, and I gained 2 pounds on Monday.
So, today was my day of reckoning, I got re-set.

After my welcoming hug, Master commented on how quiet I was. I replied that I was not in the mood to be spanked. "You are in for more than a spanking,"....I replied that "I am even less in a mood for that." My mood was noted, then ignored.

After some kneeling time, Master announced that I would be getting a hand warm-up, and then a long caning...good news/bad news.

Master sat on an ottoman as I went over His lap, He wanted my hands and feet on the ground. The warm-up was long and harder as it continued. It also served to relax me and change my mood. I knew the warm up was a gift, since I rarely get one before a punishment, and this was a very thorough one.

I was then told to put my hands on the ottoman, stick my bottom out, and spread my legs. There is no gentle way to start a caning. (or continue one or finish one.) Master was striping me in sets of 6. I am not sure how many sets, I was busy breathing and staying in position. I did not want Him to have to start over! I felt Him tap my thighs and a "no" came out of me.

Master had me stand, and asked me....what part of You belongs to Me. The only answer to that question is all of me , Sir. My thighs were His target, 4 quick ones. He then told me to stretch my arms in front of me, palms up, and used the cane on my palms. I pulled them away, He told me to put them back, and I did for one more swish of the cane. I moved them away, but quickly put them back without being told.

Master then told me to present my breast to Him. I hesitated, He repeated. I held them up, a little. I was told to push them together and stretch them out. I did and closed my eyes, I had never been caned on my breast, and I am not fond of any breast play. Master gave me 4 strokes of the cane, and I survived. He then asked the question again, what part of me belongs to Him. Without any hesitation, I gave Him the correct reply.

I was then told to kneel down. I did, in position, eyes closed. I heard Master tell me to open my eyes, He was kneeling in front of me. After some gentle touching and caressing I was calm, and so sure that I am His, that all I want is to please this special man. He then asked me if I was happy with where I was or if I wanted to try for more. I gave it a little thought, I knew that He would accept any answer I decided on. I said that I was happier with myself than I was when we first started, but yes, I would love to lose more. Master said give me 10 more pounds, and really give it your all. No going backwards, no waffling, just do it, and then You will stay put for a while. I agreed, and then He said it was time to finish my caning.

Words I did not want to hear. You know what that means, He continued, I nodded....these would be the hardest ones. He told me to get back over the ottoman, I hesitated for a minute, He said no hesitation, I do not like hesitation. Over the ottoman I went, trying to prepare myself.

The first 6 had me hanging on, and panting and ouching very loudly. Then the next 5 and just as I was feeling a small sense of relief, I felt the cane on my thighs. Master asked, should the last one be here. I replied No Sir, but it was not the answer He was looking for. Any place You want Sir, was the correct answer, one I finally said. He tapped my thighs and pulled back, I was holding my breath, this was bound to be the hardest one yet, and He swung at... my bottom, and not any harder than the others had been....not that they were not hard enough. I quickly spit out a Thank You Sir.

I got up to hugs. Master then told me to get over His lap. I quickly complied. He said, no hesitation, that is what I always want, no thinking, just acting. You can think after You do what I say. After some rubbing and quiet chatting Master had me get up. I do not get to cum after a punishment, or now a re-setting. After more hugs, I got reading to leave. I left a much calmer, submissive, satisfied "young lady".

abby

Happy Mother's Day

Just a quick note..Hope all of you mom's and caregivers and grandmoms had a wonderfuf day! I skyped with my beautiful granddaughters, and had a day that was very nice! (and no rain , just sunshine!)
abby

a task for tonite..and some advice, please?

My sneezings last Friday, turned into a full blown cold and sinus thing. The weekend was a total loss, on Monday I started to feel human, better yesterday, and much better today. Now if it only could stop raining!

After I had assured Master this morning that I was feeling much better, He declared it maintenance day. Actually He mentioned it yesterday, but I really did not want to be spanked, sort of a first for me, but as much as I had dreamed of maintenance, and yes, it is a good thing for me/Us, it is not always something to look forward to. We talked about that a bit today, Master remimded me that it has greatly reduced the number of major punishment sessions, and does keep those naughty little voices at bay. I know all that, but it still hurts!

Much to my surprise,and He does like to keep me guessing, I was told to lean over the arm of the sofa, bottom up and out, legs spread. It was going to be belt day, with no warm-up. Leather is usually a good thing, but no warm up is not. He started right in, with His belt doubled. After the first few I started to rise, but was reminded not to, that this spanking was not optional, and He was going to use the belt. After a few more, with me really ouching, He decided to try not to have the belt doubled...wow, be careful what you ask for! I found that to be much worse, so after a few more Master went back to the doubled belt. I guess that is His was of not being mean.

I am not sure how many times He swung that belt, but eventually I heard 12 more. That is both a relief and a warning. I now know how many before the end, which helps me, but I also know they will be the hardest yet. When I started to whine, Master rubbed my thighs...I took the hint and stuck my bottom out further. I survived the 12 (actually I only counted 11, but did not question Master's math! (;

Master then started to rub and commented on how hot my bottom was...really??? After some rubbing, and touching, and proding, He invited me to go over His lap, no whining now! After more rubbing and touching and finding all the rights spots, I hear...I wonder if I could get you to ask for 12 more of the belt, to earn an orgasm. I have no doubt He would do such a thing, so I was in a slight panic, begging to have permission to cum. After more teasing, Master asked if I was ready to ask for the belt, when I shoke my head no, He nicely and gaciouly and wonderfully allowed me to cum. (Thank You Master!)

Master then said that my bottom had cooled off a little, the rest of me was sweating! He started to hand spank me. As He continued, He asked if I would cum just from His spanking me....I used to think "no way"..."impossible"...but it has happened a couple times lately, so I relaxed, asked for some harder spanks and it happened, I will never understand it, but maybe just enjoying it is enough.

Master then gave me a task for tonite, I was to take out my biggest toy and fuck myself hard with it for 5 minutes, then cum for Him. I have completed that task, but I only own 1 vibrator, and it is a very small one. I think it is time to move up, so to speak. I am going to ask Master if I may purchase at least one more...and I need suggestions. Please help me with any suggestions as to what works well for you! Thanks!

abby

aaachooo!

Yes i am sitting here sniffling and keeping the kleenex close...hopefully I can banish this cold soon!

This was a week of ups and downs for me. Monday I returned home to Master and a delightful welcome. Then for some reason I started to feel at loose ends, loosing my calmness and talking to myself. Master had a busy week at work, so we were mostly texting and emailing and leaving voice messages, I kept telling myself to snap out of it...Monday had been so special.

Of course that did not work too well, by Thursday my morning text included that I had had an off week. I had plans for the day with friends, Master called at noon asking what time I would return. He was at work later than usual, but we did manage to meet for a short time. It was mostly cuddling and hugging and chit chat, with his fingers doing a little tugging and pinching and raoming. It was what I needed, I went to bed calmer and slept well.

Today was maintenance day. It rarely is on a Friday, but this was one of those weeks. Master did say, waiting til Friday kind of defeats the purpose and He wants it earlier in the week. I did not exactly set it up, but I had mentioned it in my voice message last Wednesday. He greeted me at the door with a wonderful hug...it did help that I loss 1 pound this week!

Then it was kneeling time, covering my ears with his hands and pushing my face into Him so I could not see, nor hear....just feel His touch reclaiming me, reminding me that He owns all of me. Then it was over His lap for a long, hard hand spanking. Master has a hard hand, but I love the feel, the intimacy of it on my bottom.

He spanked hard and long, I was trying not to squirm, but to keep breathing. It seemed to me He was concentrating on one spot...that spot just below my bottom that seems really tender. When I mentioned He could have spread the spanks around, Master replied that my bottom had gotten smaller and His hand covered all of it...what could I say to that?!

By the time He was done, I could feel myself practically dripping. Master commented on how wet, hot, and swollen I was. His hand is so much better than that acrylic paddle! It did not take long for me to be begging for permission, and for them to just keep on coming..or cumming. Before met Master I wondered what all the hype about orgasms was about...and if I managed 1, I was perfectly happy. Don't try to tell me you can't get better as you get older! Finally I layed over His lap, gasping for breath, sated and content. A perfect end to the week!

abby

It's good to be back home!

Hello all! I left Boston today, after a rainy, cold week. My little "sweet pea", caught a terrible cold, congestion, runny nose, even a temp. She was a trouper, at 19 months when I would rock her, and comfort her, she would look at me and say...thank you much grandma!

On the days that I travel, I usually text Master when I am ready to leave, and call him when I take a potty break. When I called Him at my stop this afternoon, He told me to come straight to Him, not home to unpack, no stop to get groceries, just right to Him. It made the last part of my drive much more interesting...and a little distracting!

Master greeted me with a big hug! He is just about finished with His bathroom project and about to start a redo of the kitchen! After He filled me on on some of that, it was kneeling time. Lately, He has me close my eyes and he covers my ears, so i am totally focused on Him, on my submission. It is a very calming time.

Then......Master mentioned last Wednesday evening. I...umm...was in a "mood" and let my attitude show. I saw it coming, and instead of pulling it back, just kept on going....like digging yourself a hole, and not being smart enough to stop and try to fill the hole, but you just keep digging.
Disrespect and attitude are never allowed. I apologized right away last week, but knew, although the apology was accepted, I still had a price to pay. I was told to get over the back of the sofa, and felt the coolness of the darn acrylic "paddle". IT HURT....and it was supposed to. I did not get up out of position, but i did raise up a little. After the first few, Master was reminding me that disrespect is expected every day, no matter where I am. I was told to repeat that phrase after each spank...loudly. I did, and after another set Master asked if I had been respectful every day that i was away...a not so loud, "no Sir", was my answer. After a few more Master asked if he needed to continue, a louder "no Sir" was my reply this time.

I was then allowed to go over His lap, for a wonderful welcome back hand spanking. After the spanking, His Hand felt even better than it usually does. Master soon asked if I would like to cum for Him...of course I thought that was a great idea. After usng up several permissions, I was spent, and so gld to be home again!

I did not get a chance to do any blog reading while I was away, but I am going to try and get caught up with all of you in the next couple days!

abby

on the road....again

I needed this week here at home...some time with Master. It has been calming, replenishing and reassuring.

This afternoon, i got to see the almost finished bathroom, it is quite a room! After we chatted a bit and a little kneeling time, it was over His knee....for a wonderfully long hand...well never quite long enough...spanking. He started over my jeans, then panties, then bottom. He spanked for quite a while, at a slow pace, increasing in intensity, while we chatted. I am leaving tomorrow to return to Boston, for about 10 days. Master reminded me of what He calls my "tool box". It contains all the tools i should use while i am away, to keep me focused. I will admit that i often let some of my routines slip and start to lose focus. Some of the tools, are my daily reports, asking for permissions, texting, calling, a good morning and good night message, a daily task...I am feeling more confident that i will be able to maintain that focus, i do realize that part of being able to, is thinking i can!

On Wednesday, Master had suggested that staying the same was not an option for this coming week, He wanted me to lose. I whined about it, but i agreed today, thinking that i should be staying on track with my eating and maybe some walking is the way to go. I find maintaining more difficult than losing, i tend to go overboard with the treats.

Then master decided that i would get His birthday spanking now, since i will be away on THE day...i am very disappointed about that. His hand birthday spanking was hard and very slow, with me counting out loud. I tried to make Him believe He was younger than He is, but it did not work.
At one point He was doing the current set of 20 all on the same spot, just below my bottom. I was thinkig to myself, You could move them around a little, when Master said, I can hear you thinking that I should move them around a little. I hate it when He can read my mind.....and is right!

When we finally ended with the correct number, Master's talented fingers started to roam....it did not take me long to be asking for permission to cum. Master decides to chat...i also hate that timing...lol.
He said i should cum for Him daily while i am gone. Now i imagine some of you are thinking....lucky girl....but i am not usually a daily type of girl, espicially when i am on my own. I mumbled something about every other day, Master replied, well, you agree to every day, or my fingers stop doing their magic until you get back. I was too far gone to agree to that...as He well knew...so i agreed. The reward was soooo worth it!

We hugged and hugged and said good by. Tonight i filled plastic easter eggs for my granddaughters first easter egg hunt!

Hope you all have a good week....abby

Maintenance.....birthday

...Today was maintenance day for this week. I had asked Master yesterday for a day, and my choice was today. Usually when i know when, i am calmer, more focused. Today, for some reason i was antsy all day, not for any one particular reason, just more on edge. When i saw Master, His day had not gone well. I suggested we could wait for another day either tomorrow or Friday. But he said no, today is fine. Master views maintenance as a reminder and a deterrant. Today's fell under the deterrant category. He told me to bend over the back of the sofa, one of my least favorite positions and i immediately felt something hard and cold on my bare bottom. With no warm up, He started with stong strokes and it did not take long until i was struggling to stay in place. He put His hand on my back and continued. After a few more i was ouching loudly...this was more that i had expected.
He stopped to rub my bottom and massage my back, asking me why we have maintenance, telling me that to be a deterrant to punishment it had to hurt, i had to remember it. Finally He asked if i was feeling better, i replied for now...He chuckled. Twelve more on each cheek...which meant on the exact same spot. I struggled through the first 12, but did manage to breathe and stay in place. Master always seems to spank harder on one side, and i was hoping the harder said was over with....and it was. The next side was easier to get through, partly because i knew they were the last 12....with the very last one being one to really remember.

We then talked about my being away again next week. Master knows my time with my grand daughters is important to me, and He graciously allows me all the time i need to be away. He said this time, i would have to return having loss weight, not staying the same. I "argued" pointing out why i thought that was impossible. Master was not buying it, since i am already above my goal, i need to get back there. I pleaded some more, and although He did not change His mind, He agreed we could talk about it some more on Friday, after my weigh in.

Birthday...not mine....not Master's....but of maintenance! One year ago tomorrow, I had my first maintenance spanking. There are times in every relationship that are crossroads or turning points, and i consider the start of maintenance to be an important day in my submission to Master.
One year ago today, i was feeling....not all that submissive. For a lot of reasons, i was feeling that Master and i had stopped moving forward, that i was struggling with submission and confused as to why i was struggling, why could i not just be or maintain my submission on my own? No, i did not feel i could discuss this with Master, but on that day i read a blog, that mirrored my feelings, and said it so well. I asked if i could quote the blog in a note to Master. It took me a while to hit the send button, but i sent the note, explaining that this was how i felt.

We met the next day, and Master's first words were....you need maintenance spankings. I immediately denied it, but He said, not it is a great idea. I had often wondered what it would be like to know that you would get spanked every week, not just every second, third or fourth week. I had my first maintenance spanking that week, and Master said they would happen weekly. To be honest i wondered how long the weekly part would last...even though i knew Master was a man of His word and always follows through. So every week for this past year, unless one of us was out of town for the whole week, or my back was out, i have been spanked, at least once. I quickly learned that if i had earned a punishment....it did not replace the maintenance spanking, it was in addition to it, a bit of a surprise.

Maintenance has been good for me, very good.
...Maintenance has helped to quiet the voices that would get into my head, and cause me to doubt, to waver, to get into trouble. Now those voices don't have much of a chance, Master is spanking them away!

...Maintenance has greatly diminished the need for Punishment spankings...the capitol P ones! Master means for them to be a deterrant, and He spanks so they are...i do not need to test or wonder. I can concentrate on pleasing, and that is so much nicer..for both of us , i hope.

...Maintenance has helped me to "relax" into my submission. Not sure i can explain this one, but i feel it has become a real part of me, of the every day me. To worry less about the mechanics , the whens, the ifs, the maybes, just leave those where they belong, in Master's hands.

...Maintenance has also given Master and i more time to talk face to face. Phone conversations, emails and texting are just not the same. We get to share more of our lives, we get to laugh more together, we seem more real life. We were real time Master and submissive, but it somehow did not feel like really part of my every day life, now i know, that i am His, every day, that i am submissive not just when i am getting spanked or whipped or flogged, but i am His submissive all of the time, no matter where i am, or what i am doing.

...All of the above has helped for this past year to be one of many steps forward. After 8 years, i finally cried for Master this year, more than once even! He is not only in my heart, but also in my head, He is my constant companion, mentor, Master.

Finally....THANK YOU Master. You know me better than i know myself. You are willing to give me what i need, You have more than earned my trust, my submission, my love. May this coming year be as good as this past one has been!

a very content abby

finally....

I am back from a delightful week with an extremely bright 19 month old...not that i am prejudiced! She is talking up a storm, and being a grandma is soooo much more fun than being a mom!

I did struggle, a bit, with staying on track for Master. In my defense, I did not see Him for 10 days before i left, and then i was gone a week. So it was a long dry stretch. Before i leave i always think i will not miss him as much this time and it will be easier, i think i should just face up to the fact...that will probably never happen. He says missing Him is a good thing, and missing Him more just shows that our connection is strong.

I weighed in and reported today, for the first time in over 2 weeks. I was laid up with my back before i left for Boston, so most of that week, i was just trying not to move too much. So no wii or walking for over 2 weeks, and having a daughter in law who loves to cook...well, it was no surprise,,,i gained 2 1/2. I did not think that that was awful, and i told Master that was sorry and that i knew that i had to get back to my goal weight.

This afternoon, i finally got to see Master. After my welcome back hugs, Master's hugs not just a quick squeeze and let's move on, needless to say, they feel soooo good! Then Master said, naked and kneeling please. I slowly got naked, and got into position. Master pressed my eyes shut with His hands, and told me to focus. Just Him and me, nothing else, just us.
He then massaged me into total relaxation..so He could "attack" my nipples, first one then the other. Then it was up and over His knee.

He started with a long hand spanking, starting off slowly and lightly, gaining speed and strength as He continued. His Hand is hard...but oh so wonderful! He then had this paint stick, to stir the paint , it was fairly long, but very thin. I really liked the quick stings, and as Master noticed He chuckled, and said easy....this is a spanking. He went to my thighs and down my legs a bit...just because He can spank me anyplace he pleases, He said. I mentioned He should not get rid of that stick.

Then came time for a serious paddling. I am actually not sure what he used, some type of wood, from his bathroom project...which is looking awesome. He asked if i knew why He had to paddle me...i answered Yes Sir, and would i accept it...again Yes Sir. But, i then asked, what if i had answered no...i was not ready, would He not paddle me. His reply...I would paddle you harder until you were ready, and then give you the original paddling on top of that, so are you ready....i replied quickly, Yes Sir.
There was no lite or slow start this time, and i did manage to stay in place and breathe through it. I was worried since it had been a while, but the warm up helped, and i did want to be good for Him. He then reminded me, that letting me get away with a gain would only lead me to doubts, and wondering if i could get away with more. He is probably correct about that.

Then came my real welcome, with His fingers reaching between my legs, and finding me very ready, bringing me right to the edge. When he pulled out i groaned, he chuckled. Then i felt that paint stick, and Master saying, lt's see if you can cum while i am spanking you. I honestly did not think so, but He had me well primed and ready, and that paint stick, does give a delicous sting, as Master increased the speed i was in the rhythm with Him, and soon i was going over that edge. Master was very pleased, and He proceeded to bring on a few more orgasms, i am not sure the number...but let's say my "dry spell" was wiped out! One thing that surpises me is how loud i sometimes get, that is just not me. When i told master i was sorry for being so loud, he said He loved the wanton me, it was a wonderful compliment to Him....as long as the neighbors don't start complaining.

So i am back, where i belong. I am ready to get back to that goal weight, and to be the submissive that Master deserves....now if only spring would put in an appearance.

linda

no good ouches this week...

The good news is my back is finally feeling better, I no longer wake up every time I try to roll over in bed, and it feels much looser, and I can even bend....carefully! A couple commentors suggested a chiropractor, think I am going to look one up, thanks!

The not so good news, is no good..or any...spanks this week. It has been a long time since I have been home for a week, and have not been spanked. It has become part of my routine, and yes...i miss it!

I am off to Boston tomorrow. Going to help my son and daughter in law with some babysitting for my 18 month old grand-daughter, and my sister and I are going to take my mom on an overnight casino trip. I am looking forward to both of those, even though it means another week with no spanks.
I know I am blessed that my children want me around, and that I have the time and ability to help them out. Grandchildren are truly a wonderful blessing! I will be away for about a week, and hopefully by the time I return spring will have arrived!

abby