That 'Four' Letter Word!

Yes...here I am.  I am trying to get back to posting....right now my goal is once a week.  I have not involved M yet...but that might ensure that I do.  We have been keeping up with maintenance...altho not always on a Monday....Our friend Willie posted an interesting entry on...PAIN..yes that is the four letter work that my title refers to...not whatever else you were all thinking about...😂
     Before I met Master, pain was....pain.  It could be emotional or physical...stubbing my toe, saying a final good-bye to a loved one, giving birth ....pretty much the opposite of pleasure.
       My very first spanking with M was...about 20 years ago...over my clothes, with His hand.  I thought I had hit the jackpot...experienced what I had fantasized about...and was reading to move on.  Luckily, M already knew me better than I knew myself.  We moved forward , slowly, M introducing me to his 'toy bag'....that was a shocker...soooo many 'toys'....
     It seemed my relationship with pain was complicated....not just OUCH that hurts....there was such a thing as a...good hurting.  In fact altho I tried very hard to ignore and deny it...and still occasionally do....hard play times would  often end with me ready and very willing to move on to lots of loving and orgasms...who knew...I sure did not.....but sure am glad that we discovered the relationship!
       Of course, not all spankings end up with some mighty fine loving.  The Punishment ones do not.  They have become much rarer.  It took me way toooo long, but I did eventually learn...that ..
M...said what he meant, and, more importantly...meant what He said..
.......He was consistent, he was in charge, and he never forgot an earned punishment...but was quick to forgive once it was over.
......A punishment spanking was not fun, it HURT, and always 
        ended with a 'clean slate'...but never some of that loving.
......And much to my surprise....that punishment spanking, helped me...to move on, to forgive myself, to know that I could and would do better...that wonderful clean slate, where all is forgiven...He forgives me and...even better...I forgive myself.
PAIN....seems like such a simple 4 word..but like a lot of 4 letter words.....it's meaning and nuances can be very varied.
    
The grands are arriving tomorrow for Easter at grandma's.  As usual, I have a few surprises planned.  The Easter egg hunt has been revised.  They will be hunting for eggs, but inside the eggs will be a square of construction paper with a number on it.  Once all the eggs are found and opened, there will be an auction...kites, some beach toys for our upcoming beach vacation, some candy,  books and craft kits... their 'money' is what they found in the Easter eggs.   
 hugs abby