Wednesday, November 9, 2016

A Different Kind of Release...

.......... I stayed up until 1 AM this morning, not believing what I was seeing and hearing.  I am so happy that my children are adults, and my grands are too young to know what is going on. How do we explain to children that the President of our country is not a role model for them?? I can only hope and pray that kindness, civility and acceptance return to our lives.

..........Thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers and support....please keep them coming.

        Master always takes great delight in reminding me ahead of time when the first Monday of the month is right around the corner....maintenance and harder play Mondays. I am not nearly as enthusiastic about the first Monday of the month as He is. This Monday I was really not even in a maintenance mode, never mind harder play.  I did think about asking Him to delay it, but the words...when you least want a spanking is when you need it most, kept playing in my head, and I know that we have been at this for a long time and He knows how to get my into a good head space.
           As I am getting ready for my naked kneeling, I see not only the maintenance paddle, but also the school paddle...it is long and heavy.  I am just trying to quiet everything else going on in my head and concentrate on relaxing and accepting.  After a lot of squirming on my part, I am invited over His lap.  He does start with a long hand warm-up, and them moves on to the maintenance paddle.
           I am ouching and squirming from the start, after each set of 25 Master stops for some rubbing and encouraging words.  Usually after the second set I am more settled, not happening on this day.  I continue to squirm and be vocal to the last spank.  Master lets me have some quiet time over His lap, as He is still rubbing my back and bottom and legs.
              He then asks me to get up and hand Him the school paddle, and go lean against the fire place mantle. He reminds me to present my bottom and not to move out of position...and to count and thank Him after each one.  I groan loudly counting and thanking....not my favorites either.
                 He starts in slowly, waiting for my count and thanks before each spank.  They are hard, but I do stay in place while letting Him know that they hurt.  "Ten, thank-you Sir". and he pulls me into a hug.  I am stunned...10 and He is done??? I quickly say Thank you Sir, I am totally amazed that He stopped at 10...shortest hard play Monday ever.
                 His fingers start exploring, and He is surprised to find that my usual wetness is missing.  He continues trying to remedy that, until I finally say...let's just stop, it's not happening. He continues for a couple more minutes and then picks up the small paddle and starts to spank lightly.  Something goes off in my head, and I know what I need...something that I have been suppressing, I say 'harder, Sir'. He hesitates, just for a bit, I push my bottom up and He start to spank harder.  After a couple rounds I say again....harder.  He complies and as He continues to spank, i start sobbing.  He stops spanking, and is rubbing me all over speaking softly.  
                 I am finally done with the sobbing and am crying quietly and I hear Him saying, ...let it all out...you are safe, let go...I've got you cry it out....over and over. I finally am cried out, He continues to touch me, but we just stay quiet for a while.  He then asks me if I am ready to move, I am not.  He tells me just to stay where I am, until I am ready to move.  After a few more minutes, I start to tell Him..I am sorry, this Monday was not what He expected.  He tells me His only expectation is that I am His...and I am. He thanks me for giving Him my tears, He knows that is not easy for me. 
He then adds, that I got exactly the kind of release I needed today...and He pulls me into Him, finally totally relaxed.
hugs abby
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28 comments:

  1. Oh Abby, two hard days this week.big hugs
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Thanks..to quote my mom..this too shall pass..
      hugs abby

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  2. Aww Abby! I'm so sorry that things continue to be tough in your realm. Wish that I could help in some way. Now the election results... UGH! Awful!

    Looks like Master came through for you, as always. You knew what you needed and asked. Those kinds of spankings are so tough to take, and yet some of the best kind, I think! It always feels so good to let go and get it all out. So glad that you have your Master to lean on, and that it left you feeling relaxed. Thinking of you, as you continue on with all that you are facing this week. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Thanks my friend. I tend to go very quiet when times get rough...I am learning to reach out.
      hugs abby

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  3. Replies
    1. They are much appreciated.
      hugs abby

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  4. I love that you have this release and that is the thing to focus on during difficult times xxx

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  5. I have been there too abby. Just last week to be honest. You know part of the letting go is actually asking for 'it' more..LOL. I don't know why I said 'you know'. Some days, as compared to you I am 'new' lol, I hesitate still. Thoughts of control, or pain slut or whatever go through my mind. Thankfully like your Master, Barney doesn't see it that way. I now try and remember that a unsuccessful reset is far, far worse than one never started for me. This helps me 'suggest' for a different implement. I don't believe I have actually said harder DURING at least.

    As for your election, I really don't understand. I was so hopeful that things would turn out differently. I mean how could they not? Wasn't it obvious? What do I know, I am 'just' a Canadian in a communist country with crappy healthcare ( pfft apparently )

    Here is hoping that maybe it was all sensationalist rhetoric and the votes cast for him were more a statement against the establishment than how people really feel concerning their neighbours.

    willie

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    1. I value your opinion and your advice. I remember the first time Master referred to me as a pain slut, I wash shocked and denied it...he laughed. Let me know when you say that...harder...word. I am betting it will
      happen. I think most of the votes were 'the lesser of 2 evil' type..we love our Canadian neighbors. I just hope we are all around to vote him out in 4 years.
      hugs abby

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    2. LOL...perhaps I should explain *aside from the first 3 months of ttwd, 9/10 times I most certainly don't need Barney to hit harder. The other times are either because he isn't 'feeling' it or he's tired. Barney has never really called me a pain slut but others have called me that, as our spankings 'apparently' vary greatly from most. Meh, what do I know I've never been in a room when someone else has been spanked! I do know I have a hard head however, so Barney has his work cut out for him at times. Personally I think he should be thanking me, I keep him in shape!

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  6. i'm so glad he was there for you, and that you were able to ask. Good for you. As for the election - my thoughts are all four letter words. Sigh. It's going to be a frigging long 4 years. <3

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    1. I hope we survive the four years...and every one has learned their lesson...and loses by a landslide..that is my dream.
      hugs abby

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  7. Hey Abby...happy Master was able to give you what you needed to release all the tension and upset. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that things go better for you.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Thank you my friend...as we all know...life is full of cycles.
      hugs abby

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  8. Sounds like a really good session. Well done for clearing your head and asking for the harder strokes. I often feel like that but my wife and Mistress does not like it when I speak too much during a punishment. Great blog. Michael.

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    1. Thanks for the compliment. This was not a punishment, and Master has worked hard at getting me to be more verbal. It was a good session, just what I needed.
      hugs abby

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  9. Aww Abby, I'm so sorry you are dealing with some hard stuff right now. I just love how your Master always knows what you need, he really does know you so well.

    Good on you for asking. I'm so glad you got the release you needed.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. He does know me well, I used to find that scary...now it is so comforting.
      hugs abby

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  10. Abby, I will add a prayer for you today, and hope the hard times will pass soon. I agree that a good spanking and a good cry can do so much to lift some of the burden. Love the way our men bring us back to center.

    Hugs From Ella

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    1. Thanks for the prayers....and yes, our men are very special.
      hugs abby

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  11. I sure could use that kind of release - it might assuage the anger I feel. Lucky you.

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    1. LOL...not sure even Master could spank hard enough for that.
      hugs abby

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  12. I guess you would rather have corruption and lying then hard work & honesty. Too bad.

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  13. glad he was there for you to help you release whatever you needed... hugs

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    1. Me too..he knows me so well..
      hugs abby

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  14. I completely understand. Wish I could do the same but I am just not a crier. Glad he understood and was supportive.

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    1. It took a very long time before I gave Master tears..and it is still a rare occurrence...so I get it. But it is such a wonderful release..don't give up on it happening.
      hugs abby

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