..........Thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers and support....please keep them coming.
Master always takes great delight in reminding me ahead of time when the first Monday of the month is right around the corner....maintenance and harder play Mondays. I am not nearly as enthusiastic about the first Monday of the month as He is. This Monday I was really not even in a maintenance mode, never mind harder play. I did think about asking Him to delay it, but the words...when you least want a spanking is when you need it most, kept playing in my head, and I know that we have been at this for a long time and He knows how to get my into a good head space.
As I am getting ready for my naked kneeling, I see not only the maintenance paddle, but also the school paddle...it is long and heavy. I am just trying to quiet everything else going on in my head and concentrate on relaxing and accepting. After a lot of squirming on my part, I am invited over His lap. He does start with a long hand warm-up, and them moves on to the maintenance paddle.
I am ouching and squirming from the start, after each set of 25 Master stops for some rubbing and encouraging words. Usually after the second set I am more settled, not happening on this day. I continue to squirm and be vocal to the last spank. Master lets me have some quiet time over His lap, as He is still rubbing my back and bottom and legs.
He then asks me to get up and hand Him the school paddle, and go lean against the fire place mantle. He reminds me to present my bottom and not to move out of position...and to count and thank Him after each one. I groan loudly counting and thanking....not my favorites either.
He starts in slowly, waiting for my count and thanks before each spank. They are hard, but I do stay in place while letting Him know that they hurt. "Ten, thank-you Sir". and he pulls me into a hug. I am stunned...10 and He is done??? I quickly say Thank you Sir, I am totally amazed that He stopped at 10...shortest hard play Monday ever.
His fingers start exploring, and He is surprised to find that my usual wetness is missing. He continues trying to remedy that, until I finally say...let's just stop, it's not happening. He continues for a couple more minutes and then picks up the small paddle and starts to spank lightly. Something goes off in my head, and I know what I need...something that I have been suppressing, I say 'harder, Sir'. He hesitates, just for a bit, I push my bottom up and He start to spank harder. After a couple rounds I say again....harder. He complies and as He continues to spank, i start sobbing. He stops spanking, and is rubbing me all over speaking softly.
I am finally done with the sobbing and am crying quietly and I hear Him saying, ...let it all out...you are safe, let go...I've got you cry it out....over and over. I finally am cried out, He continues to touch me, but we just stay quiet for a while. He then asks me if I am ready to move, I am not. He tells me just to stay where I am, until I am ready to move. After a few more minutes, I start to tell Him..I am sorry, this Monday was not what He expected. He tells me His only expectation is that I am His...and I am. He thanks me for giving Him my tears, He knows that is not easy for me.
He then adds, that I got exactly the kind of release I needed today...and He pulls me into Him, finally totally relaxed.