Monday, December 1, 2014

Why Maintenance....

        On Monday's i wake up and as soon as i am awake enough for logical thought, i think...it is Monday...quickly followed by the thought...i will be spanked.  Most of the time now, it is a fleeting thought before i start my day.  It is a fact of life, a part of my submission.  On a rare Monday i think, i am so happy it is maintenance day, i need to feel Master's paddle, Master's strength, i need a sore bottom.  More often, i start to think, i am not sure i want this, i do not want a hard spanking today.
        As i lie there, i remember why we started maintenance.  It was maybe 7 years ago...we had moved from being occasional spanking partners into a submissive/Master relationship.  It was not what i was looking for when we first met....not what He was looking for....but, slowly it was where we ended up.  It was all so new to me, but i knew how i felt..like i was whole, i had found a part of me that had been missing.  We had much in common, and we just seemed to 'fit'.
        But, i was struggling.  I wanted to move forward, but was finding it difficult.  I was having a hard time sustaining my submissive mindset between spanking sessions.  I will add, i also had major trust issues, and very large never to be torn down walls had been built ....they were meant to be permanent.  Master was making progress on the trust issue, He proved many times over He was a man of His word.  
       I had been reading blogs for a couple years, and one morning when i was thinking..why am i not better at this...at sustaining my submission when life got busy?  I read a blog....that is no longer available...and i sat there stunned.  I could have written it...this person was feeling exactly what i was, asking the same questions. It was unbelievable....i asked if i could send parts of the entry to Master, since she had written what i wanted to say so much better than i ever could. She agreed, i typed a note to Master and debated on sending it.  I did finally send it, He replied immediately...and the next day was the first maintenance spanking.  
      I was in shock, i think, and honestly....wondered for a while how long weekly would last.  It did not take me long to realize that weekly....meant every single week.  Has it changed over the years...yes...we did not start out on a set day, or with a special maintenance paddle...or basically the same routine we follow now.
       The result....my submission truly became a part of me, daily, with no doubts. My doubts about me....and yes...some about Him...were no longer nagging at me...some of my walls started to crumble....i found myself relaxing into my submission, we found ourselves moving forward.  
     No journey is ever always smooth sailing, but with the start of maintenance we seemed to have found a way to ensure our connection, to make it stronger.  Am i advocating maintenance for everyone...of course not.  We are all different in so many ways, our journeys are unique, our relationships are based what the two people involved need and want.....but for me....waking up on Monday's means i will be spanked...hard...and i will start my week calmer, more sure of myself, feeling safe knowing that i am His....and that is just what happened today.

Hugs, abby
   
     
     
       

28 comments:

  1. Nice post and a good case for maintenance.

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    1. I wasn't promoting maintenance....just a personal look at it.
      hugs abby

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  2. Abby, I am very pleased that you will be spanked for Maintenance I believe every wife should have a consent clause in their marriage, that such spankings take place. Yes, small offences should be dealt with your husband's hand, paddle or hairbrush. larger offences, a birch rod or cane. Yes, of course on your bare bottom.

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    1. Thanks for the comment....you and Master have a lot in common...except He is more of a Paddle Man than a cane one..
      hugs abby

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  3. I am so happy for you. It sounds like maintenance is a part of how your relationship grew!

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    1. It made a big difference...still does, I guess.
      hugs abby

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  4. I enjoyed reading this, Abby! :) It sounds like it really cemented what you had and helped you both grow as well. That's really cool! Happy for you! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. We both agree that it was a turning point....but we had solid basis before that..
      hugs abby

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  5. Love how you explain the evolution Abby. TTWD is definitely fluid and I'm sure your journey will continue to evolve as you two grow.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. It sure fluid, sometimes a calm stream...sometimes a torrent...I am learning acceptance of where life brings us...
      hugs abby

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  6. This is such a great post Abby, I enjoyed reading this. Loved reading about how ttwd has evolved for you and love the last paragraph.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz, this is not the post i intended to write, but sometimes the words just write themselves. I did not want anyone to think i was pushing the idea of maintenance.
      hugs abby

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  7. Hi Abby, It's great how things have developed into such a good place for you. I enjoyed reading your story
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Thanks Jan....it helps to look back and see how we arrived here...
      hugs abby

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  8. It's good to hear that the maintenance spankings help to keep you in the submissive mindset. And you are fortunate that he has made them a regular part of your life together. It helps you feel his control as you submit to him.

    FD

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    1. You got it exactly right....
      hugs abby

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  9. I am glad you've found what works for you.

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    1. Me too, my friend...me too...
      hugs abby

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  10. Wonderful post Abby. Thank you. Like you did, I'm asking permission to send parts of this post to my Mistress as I plan on bringing up the subject of maintenance spankings in our FLM.

    XOXO

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  11. Thank you for asking..of course you may...i am honored...
    hugs abby

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  12. Man, am I jealous. I so wish that could be part of my life. I just know that that sort of consistency isn't realistic for Sir. This is a beautifully written post and I appreciate you sharing it.

    Hugs,
    Fiona

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    1. Payback for all the times you have made me jealous...! It is not what i started out to write....but it sort of wrote itself..
      hugs abby

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  13. Abby, this all makes so much sense. I had a hard time with maintenance because I would build up so much anxiety. Will he remember/will he forget. Will he do it if he thinks we're doing alright. Will I be able to accept getting out of it or will it make me angry. All of the anxiety was my holding the control and letting go of that is still a struggle. I worried that I would never let go and let Luke have the control. Poor Luke has to battle me too often to remind me he decides. He chooses if, when, how, and I follow. Not always in a straight line mind you but we're working on it. I'm so glad Master has been so diligent in helping you break down those walls so he can have your heart!

    Hug to you Abby,
    Clara

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    1. My life is never a straight line either....i keep telling myself that would be too boring....I am glad Master never gave up...altho i gave him lots of reasons to....
      hugs abby

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  14. Abby, this is a great post! Maybe that's what I need, some maintenance. May I show this to Sir? Have a great week!

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    1. Please do...i am honored....
      hugs abby

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  15. I love this post. I think it is awesome how well this works for you. While our schedule is erratic, not consistent, I feel better with maintenance also.

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  16. Thanks....we are past the having kids around and i am retired...much easier to be consistent.....
    hugs abby

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