I have been wanting to post an update, most nights i have been just too tired to think straight enough to compose anything.
First, I want to thank you all for your prayers, good thoughts, warm wishes....i have not replied to the comments, i just have not had the energy.
Please keep them coming....
My first week with my mom was wonderful. She was in recovery mode, and i would show up at lunch time, with lunch for both of us. We spent the time talking, laughing, crying...a little, looking at old family photos, playing cribbage, and just enjoying each other's company. She was improving a little each day.
Since she was doing so well, i accepted my son's invitation to go back to his place and see Disney's on Ice production of Frozen. Both girls were so enthralled by it...i had a tough time deciding if i should watch their little faces or the production.
I checked my phone on the way out....several messages, my mom had been rushed to the hospital. My son drove me to mom's she was in serious condition. She rallied, and although still very ill, she seemed to be making progress. I decided to come home for a week or two.
Today, mom went into hospice, so i will be traveling back to spend some precious time with her. My trip back home was well timed, i so needed some 'Master time'. My time to recharge, to cry, to be held, to talk about my feelings....to be able to breathe again, and relax a bit.
Of course, Master also reminded me that...um...i got into a little trouble..maybe more than a little. I knew what He was talking about and said it was just a reflex and i knew as soon as it happened i should not have done it. He is going to be sure it does not happen again....I hung up on Him. I can hardly believe it myself....but we were texting, He wanted me to call Him so we could chat, i was sure that talking to Him would just end up in my crying...i had been holding back tears all day, it had not been a good day.
He wanted my tears, wanted me to call...and when i did not....He called me....and i hung up on Him. He did not call me on it right then, we continued to text.....and i thought that maybe.......But He reminded me today, that He did remember. So there is a spanking in my future, probably before i leave....something to take with me, to remind me....that i have someone to lean on, to hold me, to give my tears to.