Sunday, September 28, 2014

Saying Good-bye

         My mom and dad reunited yesterday, i know she missed him very much over the last three years, and He has been....not so always patiently...waiting for her.
          The last 3 days have been difficult ones, her breathing becoming more labored with each breath, her attempts at communication frustrating her....but there were also many special moments.
           My siblings and i do not always see 'eye to eye', but we do know how to support each other in times of sadness, times when we take turns being 'the strong one' for the others.
           I had the honor of spending mom's last night with her..we were taking turns, not ever leaving her alone.  I was awake all night, holding her hand, talking quietly to her, listening to her take each breath then listening to hear the next one.  She had a couple moments of awareness, and during the last one, i looked at her and said....'I love you more' is how our family ends most of our conversations, thanks to mom....she in a voice that i could had to hold my breath to hear....replied...' no, I love you more'.  I squeezed her hand, touched her face and said, 'i guess i love you the same, then'......she replied.....' yes, the same, that is good'.  Those were her last words.
                    She was such an example of how to live your life.  She taught many about unconditional love.  She did not always agree with, or understand some of the choices others made in life, but she did not let that diminish her love for them one bit...and they knew it.  Her grands and great- grands knew that a visit to memere's met fun and treats and lots of hugs   and kisses.  She will be missed by many.....
    You taught me so much about life mom....all of the important lessons a few of them ....
       .....don't hold a grudge
       .....always forgive of yourself to others is the best gift with no strings attached
      .......have fun....and that includes dancing on tables!
I love you the same mom.....
hugs abby

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Importance of Words...

    I am sitting at the airport, once again.  I never thought i would be considered a frequent traveler, but this year i certainly come close.  I am headed back to see mom, there is a conference this afternoon with the doctors, and my sister and her hubby are taking a quick get away starting tomorrow.  I am hoping to also get to my son's next week to go to my grand-daughters special grandparent morning in her K class.
     I have always been a 'word' person....some people....maybe lots of people....would also say a wordy person.  I have always been a word puzzle addict, any type, lately crossword puzzles.  I even have my 6 and 5 year old grands working on easy ones...they are so thrilled to sit by my side and beat me to the finish!! Book worm has also been a word used to describe me.  I have always loved to read a good book...and occasionally a not so good one.  When i retired i joined a book club...check that off the bucket list.  We have a rule, you only have to read as many pages as your age, if you still are not engaged in the book...find another, there is always another.
My kindle is where i keep the books from the authors i have met in blog land...
    The spoken word is also important to me.  Luckily, Master is a master at the spoken word.  He can make me laugh....we share the same, a little weird, sense of humor...He can make me cry, think, sigh, smile....He can get me wet and needy...all with His words.
      Yesterday, as i was kneeling naked for Him, He was reminding me that i may be away, but He is with me.  All of me...always is His.  He was gently, and then not so gently enjoying some breast play. He suggested i might want to ask Him to squeeze them very tightly and hold them like that.  I looked at Him.....and He laughed.  He decided to sweeten the offer, if i asked, He would follow up with a nice soothing sucking and licking, and He went on to describe what his tongue and mouth would do to my breast.  
Yes, I asked......and He had me  holding my breath as He squeezed and held on.......and panting when i received my reward for asking.
      Then i was over His lap, enjoying a wonderfully long hand spanking.  Master then announces that He needs to get me caught up on the maintenance spankings i will miss while i am away.  I do not think it is necessary, but you know how far that got me.  He has the maintenance paddle nearby....that thing seems to be attached to His hip.  It is a long, hard spanking, I go from panting to trying to move to away, to ouching, to letting Him know it HURTS.  He finally stops, and is not sure it is enough to last me...i assure Him it is.
     He then says that maybe i need some stripes to bring along with me.  They last longer, i can touch and feel them for a longer time than maintenance.  He asks me what i think...i reply that i do not want a caning.
He says OK, but think of all you will be missing out on.  He then proceeds, as He is rubbing and teasing and getting me to go from moist to wet to dripping, to describe in detail what i will be missing, but it is my choice.
    Ah...words...they can be so persuasive.  I do end up asking, but ask for it NOW, since i do not want to cum before, He chuckles and asks if i want 6 or 12...i leave it to Him....12 it is.  My bottom is more than warmed up from maintenance, but He is making sure there will be remembered by me as i start my journey.  He is very pleased that i asked for both some hard breast play,and a caning...and wonders out loud if that is the sound of another wall crumbling???
     Then it is on to more pleasurable pursuits for both of us.  Permissions are granted, we snuggle in closely, and then has me climb up on His lap so He can hold me close, and reminds me that He always keeps me close, i need to keep Him close also.  
       While i am away the words become even more important....thankfully i have a Master who is a master at words........
        hugs abby

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Promoting the fight against Bullying....

         Mona Lisa  posted about Joining the Fight Against Bullying...I originally put that as my title...but I have been in the fight for a very long time.
          My first teaching job was in a K--8 school.  It was wonderful, I taught 6/7/8 grade English.  There were many times that i had the privilege of teaching every child in the family.  It was a very close knit community. Still today, many of the students will contact me, hug me when we meet accidentally ....I have wonderful memories...and one memory that always brings tear to my eyes.
         Danny was a 6th grade student.  I had taught his two older sisters, one of them had invited me to her High School breakfast for a teacher we will never forget.  I was close to the kids and the parents.  Danny was a small boy, not athletic, more of a book worm.  He struggled to fit in...and he was an 'easy' target.  Danny was in professional counseling...the last report from the counselor was the his self image was improving, and she was going to recommend an end to the counseling.
         Two weeks after that report, Danny hung himself.  His sister's found him.  I will never forget that phone call, going to the home of the family, hugging the parents, sitting with the 2 girls, trying to somehow comfort.  I will never forget  having to tell classmates....Danny was in my homeroom, by request....Danny did not mean to die, He was just asking for help, and discussing how we treat each other...and bullying...i was blunt...
I will always remember Danny's parents hugging me at the wake, thanking me for all I did for him...when all I felt was that I had failed him. I will never forget taking a group of 11 and 12 year olds to their first funeral...for a classmate.  I will never forget being at the cemetary  and watching as Danny's parents refused to leave their son for the last time.  Most of all I will  never forget Danny...On the weekend that he died, I still shed tears....I promised Danny that i would do all i could to prevent bullying.
           At my next job in a 7/8th grade school and friend and I piloted a new 
anti-bullying program.  We met weekly, we had workshops, I re-told Danny's story.  I hope it helped, at least a little.  Truth be told, there is still bullying, maybe it is even more rampant.  It has to be stopped.  Mona posted this anti-bullying pledge...

     This is for me....
      my friends today.....
     And my friends tomorrow.

     I think being mean stinks..
     I won't watch someone get picked on.
     Because I am a do-something person...
     not a do-nothing person.

     I care....I can help change things
     I can be a leader.

     In my world there are NO bullies allowed.

     Bullying is bad...
     bullying bites....
     Bullying bothers me.

      I know sticking up for someone is the right thing to do...
      My name is abby
      and I won't stand by
      i will stand up.

hugs abby

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The "Hang Up"

   Thank you all for all the support, hugs and prayers.  They  help.

        Master told me today that i had challenged Him.  I was not sure what He meant. He explained.....when i hung up on Him, and yes it was a deliberate hang was something that had never happened before...and that He NEVER wants to happen again.  He felt that it deserved a new punishment, not a basement visit or a hard spanking....something more memorable.  I will admit, i listened to all of this with a bit of trepidation....He can be very creative. He had been thinking about it for over a week.
        We started of course, with my naked kneeling, it has been a while.  He slowly reclaimed every part of me, reminding me that no matter what is happening, no matter how long between spankings, no matter what.....all of me is His.  He takes care of and protects what is His, He has me 'covered', always.  He then tells me the quickest He knows to get me into my submissive mind set, is to have me suck His cock.  He is , of course right, and it has been to long since i have enjoyed the taste of Him.
     He then has me rise and tells me that since i used my hands to 'disconnect' hands will be punished.  He is looking for the short strap, but cannot find it so He decides to use His belt.  He tells me i am to hold my hands open for Him and not pull them away....He will give me 6 on each hand....if i pull a hand away, He will add two more.  Now, i have had my hand strapped, maybe twice, and only one smack and each time i pulled them away.  I tell Him i don't think i can do this....He tells me i do not have a choice, so i will do it.
     He has me stand in front of Him and hold out my hands, He will alternate hands. He says it is my choice, but shutting my eyes might help me to not to pull my hands away.  I think that is a good suggestion, so i decide to shut them.  He tells me to get ready, and He touches the hand that He is going to begin with, a smack..and  OUCH and shake my hand out, and immediately start telling Him i did not take it away.  He tells me to calm, shaking is allowed, i just cannot try to hide my hands....oh...and i have to thank Him for each one before He continues.
    I know He is not swinging as hard as He could, but it does HURT.....and it takes me a while to get to the Thank You Sir part.  After the fourth one, my phone rings.  Master tells me to go check, and if it is family to answer it.  It is my mom is settled in, is happy to be out of the hospital, and looks a little better today.  The doctors are planning a meeting next week.  I finish my chat, thank Master for stopping, He smiles and says...of course.  Then, immediately tells me to get back in position.  That kind/meany dichotomy is such a turn on...but getting the balance right is tricky. (think that will be a future post.).
     He asks how many more we have to go....4 on each hand.  It takes a while but we finally are finished.  He asks it that is something i want repeated......and reminds me that repeating a punishment means He did not do a good enough job the first time.....I assure Him, i have lost any urge i might have had to ever hang up on Him again....Much to my surprise, my hands do not look red, they feel a little warm, but that is all...
    It is time for me to relax over Master's lap.  He is using His hands to spank, rub, massage.....i am soon limp, and headed for a place of total relaxation.  Just as i think i could take a nap, I feel the coolness of wood.  Master asks if had forgotten about maintenance.  He says He will take it easy on my and not give me the weeks we have missed, just this week's. 
It has been a while, so it does not take me long to get very vocal.  He finally finishes and 'checks' to see if i was complaining too much...He thinks i was...what a surprise. 
   It does not take long before i am begging for a has been a long time before i am exploding...again...and again...and again.  Finally i am spent, but smiling, and so content.  We chat quietly, Master reminding me that no matter what i am to run towards Him, not away.  Those are words i used to hear often, and it took me a while to understand them.  I not longer run away, but sometimes do 'run in place', and not to Him.  I am to lean on Him, it is one way to please Him. to serve Him, it is what He wants. 
    I then get to sit on Master's lap, and snuggle in.....He cradles me, tells me i am safe and He will take care of me, and that i am where i belong.  
     hugs abby


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Finally, an update!

      I have been wanting to post an update, most nights i have been just too tired to think straight enough to compose anything.  
     First, I want to thank you all for your prayers, good thoughts, warm wishes....i have not replied to the comments, i just have not had the energy.
Please keep them coming....
    My first week with my mom was wonderful.  She was in recovery mode, and i would show up at lunch time, with lunch for both of us.  We spent the time talking, laughing, crying...a little, looking at old family photos, playing cribbage, and just enjoying each other's company.  She was improving a little each day.
     Since she was doing so well, i accepted my son's invitation to go back to his place and see Disney's on Ice production of Frozen.  Both girls were so enthralled by it...i had a tough time deciding if i should watch their little faces or the production.
    I checked my phone on the way out....several messages, my mom had been rushed to the hospital.  My son drove me to mom's she was in serious condition.  She rallied, and although still very ill, she seemed to be making progress.  I decided to come home for a week or two.
     Today, mom went into hospice, so i will be traveling back to spend some precious time with her.  My trip back home was well timed, i so needed some 'Master time'.  My time to recharge, to cry, to be held, to talk about my be able to breathe again, and relax a bit.
     Of course, Master also reminded me got into a little trouble..maybe more than a little.  I knew what He was talking about and said it was just a reflex and i knew as soon as it happened i should not have done it.  He is going to be sure it does not happen again....I hung up on Him.  I can hardly believe it myself....but we were texting, He wanted me to call Him so we could chat, i was sure that talking to Him would just end up in my crying...i had been holding back tears all day, it had not been a good day.
  He wanted my tears, wanted me to call...and when i did not....He called me....and i hung up on Him.  He did not call me on it right then, we continued to text.....and i thought that maybe.......But He reminded me today, that He did remember.  So there is a spanking in my future, probably before i leave....something to take with me, to remind me....that i have someone to lean on, to hold me, to give my tears to.

hugs abby

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Mom...and more questions....

         It's been one of those weeks.  My mom came down with pneumonia last Sunday, and since her heart is only working at 20%, any extra stress is a concern.  A couple of days later she fell, and broke her hip.  She left the hospital yesterday for re-hab, seemed to be doing better.  My sister called this morning, and is very concerned at the change in her since yesterday.  So, i spent today making travel plans, and canceling plans, and i will be with mom by tomorrow evening.  Not sure how long i will be there...I know i take your prayers and good thoughts with me.

      I saw a new set of questions over at Sunny's.  I have already answered many of them, but thought i would answer the others.

1.  Kissed a girl?  Yes...

2. Kissed a boy?   Oh, yes!

3.  Had sex in public?  Outside...yes...publicly, no.

4. What is your religion?  Catholic

5.  What does your URL mean?  For a long time , i felt like something was missing....just could not put my finger on what it was.  Master helped me to discover what it was....and the 'me' that had buried for so long, was found, and i felt complete.

6.  Reason you joined blog land?  Master had hinted, and then finally ordered me of the times the He knew best.

7.  Do you have any nicknames?  No..different titles like grandma, and mom...but don't recall ever having a nickname.

8.  Do you like bubble baths?  Yes, Yes Yes!!!!

9.  Ever been kissed in the rain?  Yes.....

10.  Dyed your hair?  Well i don't do it myself...but yes.

11.  Soup or salad?  During the winter, soup at least once a week.
       During warmer weather...salad.
12.  Vegetable or meat?  Both, but meat has become a much less an important part of meals.

13. Go out drinking? Rarely now, but in my earlier days........;)

14. Smoke cigarettes?  Tried one in high school....never wanted another.

15.  Smoke weed?  Only the fumes at concerts.

16.  Hard drugs? Nope

17.  Have you had sex today?  No, and probably will be a while:(

18.  Ever fall asleep in someone's arms?  Yes..but never stayed there, i am a very restless sleeper.

19.  The relationship between you and the last person you texted?  My son, he is picking me up at the airport tomorrow and bringing me to meet my sister.

20.  Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?  Not that i recall.

21. Religious or non-religious? Non....more spiritually oriented.

22.  Tried to commit suicide? No

23.  The last time you felt broken?  Physically...last year at this time..emotionally, not that i can remember.

24. Had to lie to everyone about how you felt?  My sister and i are very close, so no.

25.  Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?  Many special boy friend.

26. Long hair or short hair?  When i was a teenager it was long enough to sit, short.

27. First thing you notice in a guy?  His eyes....

   I also have a couple questions from my comments.  The first is from Han.  What do i miss most when my Master is gone?
         I have been thinking about this for a couple days, it is a very tough question.  There are so many possibilities.  I finally decided on His physicality ...being able to touch, feel, taste Him.  We stay in daily contact, i get to hear His voice, and His dominance is always a part of me....
 but the rest, well....when we first get together after an absence, i do not want to take my hands off of Him.   

  Second question is from ancilla_ksst , she asked what was the last good book i read?
    I chose 2, the first is Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay.  It touched most of us in our book club, and is an emotional, but compelling read.
On a lighter side...The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency.  A very fun read.

Be good all...and hugs...abby


Thursday, September 4, 2014

Joining the meme group...a little late..

     I know i am late with this.  Hope you have all had a better week than I have....GRR...At least it is about over, and there is a bright new week just waiting:)

Do your eyes light up when he comes to you?  Yes, first my eyes light up and then quite often my bottom gets lit.

What sports do you watch together?  Baseball....rooting for different teams.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how important in lingerie when it ends up on the floor?
It is a nice way to get things maybe an 8...

Do you watch Netflix's 'House of Cards'?  No, i am not a big television viewer.

What outdoor activity do you do together?  We have made 'good' use of the switches along a walking path.

What's his dream vacation?  By a body of water.

What is my dream vacation? Well, i would love to go on a cruise, but anything by the water is a wonderful substitute.

What is your favorite book of all time?  Oh, that is so difficult, i really cannot choose one.

What was your last argument about?  We really do not argue...we have a low key debate at times...the latest...probably about me joining a gym.

Are there any words you use that He does not like?  Only one, i think...."NO"....attitude more than words get me into trouble.

Do you have any restrictions about internet time? No....

Do you have a phobia?  snakes, bats, some amusement rides...the really high ones that drop you quickly.

When do you melt in his arms?  As soon as he pulls me in, he is big on nice.

Does He have a motto?  When one of us is away, He will tell me to 'stay close'.  When i am over His lap...He often asks...which part of abby belongs to me?

Do you have any questions for me?

hugs abby

Monday, September 1, 2014

When Master is away, the submissive will...........

       Master actually has to be away this i get a week of free reign, making my own decisions, doing my own thing.......and if any of you believe that, i have a bridge to sell you!
       We started, as always, with my naked kneeling.  After reclaiming all of me, He went back to my breast, He was barely touching them, but having a major affect on me.  I was trying to move in closer, panting, wanting just a little more, when He tells want more...ask me to pinch them very, very hard.  I look at Him, mouth open.  He chuckles, and sweetens the ask and i will suck on both breast to soothe them.  Ahh....
so.... I ask.  He, of course, grabs hold, and tries telling me not to concentrate on the pain.  He finally lets go, has me lean into Him, and starts to lick, and suck first one breast then the other.  He is going slowly, taking His time, making sure i am enjoying the soothing feel of His tongue.  His fingers check, and He assures me that my breast are not the only  part of me that is getting wet.
       Over His lap, He starts to remind me, that nothing, rules or expectations, nothing, changes while He is away.  He is waiting for a Yes Sir, i say we need to chat about a couple things.  He decides we will play now and chat later...a great idea!  
        He is giving me a hand warm-up, and comments on how relaxed i am.  He reaches for the maintenance paddle, and i stay stretched and relaxed.  He wonders if any part of me is 'excited' about this warm-up, so He checks and yes, not all of me is so....laid back. He starts in with the paddle, but using it more as a slightly  harder warm up.  After a set or two, He tells me to get ready, the real spanking is about to begin.  
         The first set is harder, and long, longer than  usual.  I don't count, i used to try to, but it is futile, but He does, He likes to keep both  sides equal....I tell Him that was a really long set, He agrees and says here comes another.  This second one is much harder, an keeps getting harder, and seems never ending.  He is saying He needs for me to remember til He gets back, i say i will, but He continues.  I am getting vocal, and eventually yell out a 'STOP', i rarely say that, He never stops, but sometimes does let up a bit.  Not this time, He continues just as hard until He is ready to finally stop.  He is rubbing, finally, and commenting how nice and hot and red my bottom is.....
           Of course the rubbing, leads Him to check, and He is disappointed that i am not longer wet, just damp.  A situation He quickly remedies.  Just as i am getting close to the edge, He lets me decide. He can continue, or i can kneel and feast on Him.  I choose the latter. Yummy!
              I am back over Master's lap, He decides we should chat, about when He is away.  He puts the paddle on my lower back, i reach back, but am stopped.  He will be several times zones away, i discuss, why my regular 'routine' will not work.  We do work out a compromise,with the paddle staying put on my back. Then we move on to.....well you know ;)  
                  Have a great week all...
hugs abby