Monday, August 25, 2014

The Benefits of Maintenance

       If you have been reading here for a while, you know that Monday is typically maintenance spanking day.  In fact, lately i have been wondering if maybe you are getting bored with my Monday reports, and if i should not report on each one.  Anyway, today when i asked Master for a suggestion for a title, He thought, and then said He wanted me to write about the benefits of maintenance, as we see them.  Not exactly the answer i expected, but like the good subbie i am, here is the post.
      Maintenance today was pretty standard.  Some naked kneeling time, Master claiming me, pinching and tweaking my nipples....telling me that He was milking...not the nipples, but the part of me that starts to drip with all the nipple attention.  Then it is over His lap, for a too short hand warm-up before He starts in with the maintenance paddle.  It is umm..small to medium, highly polished...and can pack a wallop.  Today, it is a very short hand warm up before i feel the coolness of the paddle.  I comment on the short warm up...He replies...warm-up is not over, He has just switched to the paddle.  I am tempted to argue the point, but a paddle warm-up is better than starting right in with the main event.
     He lets a couple lighter ones land on my thighs.....as a reminder that they are always a possible target.  We then move on to the 'main event'. A couple rounds of much harder ones, a slight break with some rubbing, then a tuck-in, and a final much harder set...i am ouching and i even let a...'that's enough' slip out.  He stops, reminds me why we have maintenance, and starts in again. Finally He decides it is enough, and we can proceed to more fun activities.
      The benefits of maintenance....for us
....A little background, it has been almost 4 years since we started maintenance spankings.  They have been tweaked a bit, and some things have changed, but one thing has not......they happen every week.  I doubted this when we first started, but unless one of us is away for the whole week, it has happened every single week,  Lately if one of us is away, Master will give the the missing spanking either before the week, or i get double after.
....CONSISTENCY....one of the big benefits.  There are no spanking 'droughts', no wondering on my part:
      when will the next spanking be or even will there be another one
      is He still interested in spanking me
      do i want this more than He does
I know, at least once a week i will get spanked.  Those 'voices' that used to plant doubts and questions have been quieted.  
....TRUST...yes, i trusted Him before we started maintenance, He would never have spanked me otherwise.  But i have to admit, after we first discussed maintenance, and He said it will happen every week, one of my first thoughts was....i wonder how long this will last.  He is a man of His word....it has been 4 years, and He keeps reminding me, it works, so He is not about to change things now.
....LESS PUNISHMENT...punishment spankings are a part of out relationship.  When we first started, they were the type of spanking i received the most often.  For a lot of reasons, i think new relationships are 'iffy', I wondered if He really would follow through, could i have found someone who really was more  stubborn than i was,  would He tire of me??
Master's idea of maintenance is to deter punishment spankings, so He makes maintenance an event i do not want repeated....or even have a harder event take place. 
.....US...time for Us.  No matter how crazy life gets, no matter how busy, it is a priority to carve out some special 'Us' time each week.  
....GROWTH...I believe that because of all the above, maintenance has helped me to grow in my  submission.  I thought back earlier, to the differences in me, in Us, in my submission since we started maintenance.  It has been an important factor in getting me....us....where we are today.
A place i could never envisioned, a place of wonderment , of discovery, of fun, a place where i know i belong...be it over His lap, or on it...or just by His side.

I am not advocating for maintenance, we are all different, our 'dynamics' are all different.  I am merely writing what Master asked me to write, a review of why we have maintenance spankings, and how they have helped us.

hugs abby   

         

28 comments:

  1. abby, I'm glad your Master had you write this. I think it is so helpful for other spanking couples (no matter how different the spanking details) to hear why and how it helps others.

    Great post Abby!!
    XOXO Pearl

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    1. Thanks, i am always a little nervous posting something like this, since i am far from an expert, and not urging anyone to do it 'out' way.
      hugs abby

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  2. I'm so glad you pointed out that although it works for you, it may not necessarily work for others. I think too often people get into this comparion things and that's when the trouble begins.

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    1. I so agree with you.......Master and i are a great fit together..but we are we...in our own unique ways.
      hugs abby

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  3. Interesting topic Abby...everyone seems to have different definition of what maintenance is. Happy to hear that instituting these have caused you to receive a lot less punishment spankings. I had never heard of maintenance before I came to blog land but I did have attitude adjustments, resets, reminders and emotional readjustments. Matthew did have a way with words. LOL Bottom line...whatever works for you! ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. LOL...words are important to me.....sounds like Matthew was of the mind...'any excuse is a good excuse'. I could not agree more....we all need to find what works for the us and our partner.
      hugs abby

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  4. Good post Abby, really. And yes, we are all different (we don't do maintenance) but that's good. As long as you are both happy. And your words sound very content to me Abby. Well done!

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    1. I have never been more content and happy. Master and i both say often, we are so lucky.
      hugs abby

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  5. This is a great post. I love your benefits. I live reading your MM.

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    1. Thanks, they have not become routine to me, but not sure if readers would agree.
      hugs abby

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  6. Hi Abby, I enjoy reading your MM posts. Great post and I think it's great to take stock of the positives.

    I can relate to many of the benefits you listed when we did role affirmation, it just kept us that much closer. As you said, it's not for every couple though.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Very true Roz...as i have learned, somethings are better left to others. Everyone needs to find what works for them.
      hugs abby

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  7. Excellent post abby. Just excellent. My two favorite "benefits" you listed were US and GROWTH for the reasons stated. I love the special, intimate we-time your MM affords you and the growth. Merely the desire to grow is a beautiful thing.

    Thanks abby!

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    1. Thanks sub, it is so easy to let life get int he way sometimes, of the things we want and need. We need...both of us....our M/M time.
      hugs abby

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  8. Maintenance spankings are just the thing for busy people. You can plan around them and anticipate their arrival.

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    1. Exactly, it takes juggling sometimes, but we are both committed to M/M.
      hugs abby

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  9. I love your maintenance posts and the reasons it works for you two. Thanks for sharing them!

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    1. Thanks...guess Master...once again ...had a good idea...
      hugs abby

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  10. You explained beautifully why maintenance is working in your relationship with your Master. Fine post, abby.

    appy

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    1. Thank You my friend, Master is a smart man.....He knows what i need, and provides it.
      hugs abby

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  11. It's time someone discussed Maintenance around here as it was a long time ago since it did the rounds.

    I love to read your reasons for Maintenance, and it was enormously inspiring to hear you have been doing it for four years. It is something we have done nearly since we set out, but our session used to be on a Thursday.

    Now, we still have Maintenance/Preventative sessions, but they can happen 'any time'. The trouble was that I was anticipating each week, and getting into a mindset that wasn't helping the session. So now, I am no longer able to anticipate. And Dan doesn't always keep strictly to the same type of session either. Sometimes they are quick and snappy and sometimes rather longer. Sometimes very intense, and sometimes mild and sexy.

    The only times they get missed are when we are sick. So when my surgeon signs me off tomorrow (hopefully) I know I will have one in my very near future. I have a sneaking suspicion it will not be either quiet or easy, but I do know it will be just what I need.

    I did, however, just read your previous post. Abby - how on earth can you stand all those swats with a cane?! You are so brave! I have never yet managed to relax for a spanking, let alone go into any type of headspace. All I do is kick and howl! Good for you to be able to 'go with it'. I don't think I ever will be able to do that.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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    1. Thanks Ami,
      You are a perfect example of making something work for the two of you. I love it. I have to admit there are some Mondays, that i wake up thinking i do not want to be spanked today...Master can tell right away. I love your solution...no anticipation.

      I do hope you get that green light from your doc....and that Dan remembers that it has been a while:)

      As for the cane...and going with a spanking. It is not a routine thing. I need a long warm up, to be able to start to lose myself in the spanking. It also helps if Master is talking quietly to me, telling me to go to that special place....also if He stays in constant physical contact with me...with His other hand or His body.

      hugs abby

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  12. I haven't read your blog for very long, so I don't know all the dynamics of your relationship. This spanking seemed a bit strong for maintenance and the strokes on the thighs especially. Does he realize that area is not thickly padded? I'm sure he does and it sounds like just a power play. It's good that you get to enjoy lots of sexual release and peaks. I'm wondering if you get praised for good behavior at times during the rest of the week or when you do get tasks done?

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    1. Thanks for your comment. Master knows that thigh are not well padded..His taps were light...they are just a reminder that all of me belongs to Him. I get lots of praise and fun spankings and play.....He is very good at the positive reinforcement, in so many ways.
      hugs abby

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  13. How do I start, how do I start .. Ok, maybe like this.
    For me it's very strange and degenerative, that so many men in power change conditions have such" low expectations" of their women.
    They expect their women to do wrong, that they should have failed.
    Therefore they want taming them in advance. In case of 5 years, she'll do something wrong and that she will surely do .. Does not it feel depressive?
    Even if you do everything right, you are still "punished". Maybe not the big P..men account all together ...

    My husband has high expectations of me. He knows I thing making the best of every situation. Always. He does not expect me to do wrong, failed.

    You tried your Master several years ago, you got the answer you wanted.
    You are old enough to make the best of every situation, without someone reminding you of it every week, what can happen if you fail .. Brrr

    Abby, I think it is like this.
    With MM time do not need your Master to explain to you why spanking is so hard.
    He wants it that way, he likes it. Then he can say that it is MM. Then you have no chance to say anything.
    But perhaps it would feel better to hear:
    "No, this is not MM. Because we know where we are what we have, and you know what is right and wrong and do not need MM to avoid Punishment, but I like it to make it a little harder. So we can call it MA Mondays . (Master-Abby). "
    Come on Abby, if you know that something would please your Master, you would ask "How high should I jump Master" before he asks you to jump.
    To please him. Right, Abby?
    And then we come to the punishments spankings ... but this can we discuss another time ..lol ..

    Hugs,
    Mona Lisa

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    1. I truly think, as abby said, it's all about what works for the dynamic. I need the maintenance. My Master knows it. It helps me because I don't live with Him. I don't see Him daily. It's what I need as a reminder of my place.

      I'm not sure about abby, but I went to my Master explaining I felt I needed maintenance and why. It was a few weeks later He agreed. It has made a difference. It helps me. It reminds me. It is truly what I need.

      Now, if Master wants to belt me just because, He does. When He does it's more of an erotic mindset. I'm focused on the extreme pleasure of it. I get lost in it. For maintenance it's a student mindset for me. It's a recharge that I need so I focus on it differently.

      To me, maintenance isn't about the possible failure. It's the reminder of who I am, what I am, and what I strive to be. It's how I'm wired. Fortunately, I have a Master who understands it and gives me what I need.

      Can I be good without maintenance? Sure. Then again, a part of me does not feel complete. Maintenance helps me grow.

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    2. Lisa, my friend...
      We see this so differently. Master has very high expectations and opinions of me. Just today, He was convincing me how amazing i am, He does not bring me down, He raises me up.
      Master and i discuss often how out 'appetites' match, for so many things, including hard play.
      I love your suggestion of Master- Abby Mondays, really they would be the same spanking....
      I am the one that suggested maintenance spankings, Master has just stepped up.
      I know you worry for me....consent is important to Master...this is consensual, it is something we both want.
      hugs abby

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    3. His....
      Like you, i am the one that first suggested maintenance. Master liked the idea, like most ideas that i suggest....made it His own...no surprise there, huh??
      You explained the reasons for maintenance much better than i did, it is not about possible failure, it is about me being a calm and content submissive/person.
      We share very similar views on maintenance.....thanks for helping to explain it.
      hugs abby

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