Saturday, May 10, 2014

A Case of the 'Needies'

        
      Since tomorrow is Mother's Day, i would like to wish all of you  mother's, grandma's, aunties.....whatever the title...a very happy day.  One filled with hugs and appreciation....and maybe even breakfast in bed!  That breakfast is a long standing tradition in our house, i have to say the quality of the breakfast has greatly improved over 30 years.

     It was beautiful here today..sunny, a slight breeze and just the right temperature.  I even walked the nearby bike path for, i think, the first time since my surgeries.  It is about 3 miles, and it felt good to be able to complete it.  As i was walking, the word 'needy', kept my mind occupied.  It is a word that seems to be popping up in a few blogs, so i thought i would add my two cents (not that my thoughts are even worth 2 cents)...on the subject.

      I remember when i was first aware of having the 'neediness' bug.  It surprised, scared and bothered me.  It was, maybe 4 years ago, and it hit me like a ton of bricks....me the independent, self sufficient, mostly in charge woman....i was struggling with the emotion.  I had just started blogging and wrote a post about how i was feeling.  A no longer blogging, very wise lady, left a comment.  Basically, she wrote that i was equating neediness with weakness, and it was a bad equation.  It was an emotion i had blocked out of my life, so i was very uncomfortable with it.  Being needy is part of having a strong connection to another person, it is an admission that we are only whole with that person.  As a submissive, that need is what pushes my desire to serve my Master.  I was impressed with her words, i have repeated them to myself when i start to feel uneasy about needing more.

       When i think about it logically...which isn't often enough....i need air, water, food, clothing (well most of the time i do:), i need the human touch, and so on....none of those are considered wrong or bad......there are just needs......

       I have started to be able to express the need to Master.  He always reacts positively, and spanks longer or harder.  When i say that i feel the need for a 'shorter leash' for a day or two, He makes me feel very tethered.  He has told me, more than once, He loves my neediness, it feeds His dominance.  I have told Him that at times, i worry that it is too much, i am afraid of asking for too much...needing too much. I have worried about crossing a line where i have asked for too much...His reply, there is no such line, and if there were i am not even close to it.  I would not be surprised if those are the feelings of many dominants.

        Maybe, being needy, not only  feeds the dominant, it also feeds the submissive.  For me, i feel  more open, more vulnerable when i express my need, when i let it out in the open.  It opens me to more dominance and  fills me with a need to be more submissive......a win/win situation perhaps?? 
Does this mean i will embrace my neediness...probably not....but i can see it as just a natural part of my submission, a tool to bring Master and  i closer.  

      And that is my two cents worth...

hugs, abby
      

22 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Joey, it was a very good day.
      hugs abby

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  2. Happy Mother's Day and enjoy your breakfast in bed.

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    Replies
    1. It was yummy..french toast and fresh strawberry and of course...coffee!
      hugs abby

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  3. Happy Mother's Day Abby, I hope you have a lovely day and enjoy breakfast in bed:)

    I love what you said about need feeding both dominance and submission. I'm glad you are able to express your needs to your Master. Rick has said the same to me.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Roz, i do think the 'need' is pretty universal among submissives...
      hugs abby

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  4. I do like your two cents worth Abby! Happy Mother's day...hope your enjoy your breakfast. ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Cat... I did, altho eating in bed is not nearly as fun when you do it alone!
      hugs abby

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  5. Dear abby,
    It is wonderful that you have such a caring and well willing Master. And you can write it so beautifully.
    Hugs,
    appy

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the lovely compliment...and i agree with you about Master.
      hugs abby

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  6. Hi Abby, hope you are having a lovely Mother's Day
    love Jan,xx

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    Replies
    1. It was a warm, sunny, totally lovely day.
      hugs abby

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  7. It's true I think a lot of submissives confuse neediness with weakness. But you are right it is just a toll to bring the couple closer together.

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    1. Master also likes to remind me that there are two parts to this equation...He needs me also.
      hugs abby

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  8. Love this post. You did well expressing how I feel too.
    Happy Mother's Day

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Blondie, i think it is a feeling many of us share.
      hugs abby

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  9. I hope you had a wonderful mother's day. And i think an awful lot of us have to learn this same thing.

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    Replies
    1. Or in my case....keep re-learning it.
      hugs abby

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  10. this is very nicely expressed. I often have those same feelings of being needy and worrying that I am "too needy" I am feeling reassured by your words at the moment. Hope you had a special mother's day. :-) Hugs

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    1. Thanks Terp, glad i could reassure you.....remind me the next time i get a case of the 'needies'.
      hugs abby

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  11. I love how you described how each part of the equation satisfactorily completes/solves the problem!
    I am not fond of breakfast in bed....but being served a meal....yep.

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  12. Thanks, Minelle....eating in bed is not my favorite either, but there are some traditions you just cannot change...
    hugs abby

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