Friday, May 30, 2014

If you belong...you belong wherever you are..

       For the last couple of months Master had been providing titles for my blog entries.  I love that He enjoys being a part of this blog, and it used to take me longer to think of a title, than it did to write the whole entry.  When i sat to compose this, i did not have a title, Master had forgotten to supply one and i forgot to ask.  So, i asked and i got a title.  I think it is serving a dual purpose...a title for all of you and a reminder for me.
     I am getting ready to return to Maine.  My mom is back in the hospital, and my sister is worried, and has lots on her plate right now.  I already have plans for lots of travel time in June, but i feel like i should and need to be there...and Master agrees.  
      We managed some 'just us' time today.  When i walked in i saw a large paint stick and His cane.  I think i made a mistake when i told Master that one of the things i like about the cane was that the welts and the soreness lasts....I am naked and kneeling and Master is massaging  and rubbing...getting me to relax and release the tensions of the past week.  Then He starts in on my nipples...He is not being gentle, He is claiming them and reminding me that they are His to do with as He pleases.
        Then i am over his lap, for a too quick hand warm up.  Often during a warm up, Master will ask if there is a part of me that does not belong to Him, which part...parts ...of me are His. This time He is also reminding me that no matter where i am....i am His.  When He is satisfied with my answers, He picks up the paint stick.  It is very stingy, but as Master said, it is mostly a surface pain.  He stops for some rubbing and probing and 'checking'.  He takes some of my wetness and rubs it on my bottom, just before He picks up the cane. 
      He starts with the cane while i am still over His lap. The sting has me moving, but it is just right.  Each welt is His mark, a reminder...He checks, but we both know the effect the caning has on me.  Master 'stirs the honey pot' as He put it...and just as i am beginning to pant and think permission...I hear Master ask if i would like 100 more with the cane before we continue.  I shake my head 'no', He asks if i am sure...and this time i reply, that is up to Him.  He chuckles...and of course tells me to get up, bend over and stick my bottom out.  
      These welts are meant to last a while, and i have to be reminded to keep my bottom where He wants it.  He rubs between sets, but each set is a little harder. He finally decides that the welts are to His liking, and tells me to stay in position, .....as He fills me.....and brings me to an explosive orgasm.
After a couple minutes He pulls me over His lap, and is rubbing me all over..from my feet on up, talking quietly, letting me just be totally relaxed.
      He reminds me that i can still lean on Him while i am away...He is always there for me.  He is always telling me that i just need to ask , and this week , i actually did.  On Wednesday, the day my mom was admitted to the hospital, i was letting Master know during our lunch time call.  He asked how i was doing, and after some hesitation admitted i could use some hugs and a lap to sit on.  He replied, i am on my way...and 10 minutes later...i had that lap and those hugs.  I could feel His strength and calmness become a part of me.  He was very pleased that i had asked...and hoped it was not a 1 time thing....i am pretty sure it will be happening again:)
    No matter where i am, i am His.....

hugs abby

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Why is it the 'little' things?

            As i was thinking this afternoon about a conversation Master and i had earlier today, i came to the realization.....it is usually  the little, or minor, things that seem to be the most difficult for me to submit to.  Most of the time when Master suggests implements a new rule, we discuss it, i get my questions answered, and i agree.  Often i get punished at least once for forgetting, but mostly i submit.  Then there are times like....joining a gym.  If you read here regularly, you know it took 2 basement visits to get me there.  You were all urging me, Master was adamant, and i finally agreed.  Honestly, i go 4/5 times a week, and on the days i don't i usually walk a bike path that is behind my house.  No, i would not say i enjoy it, but it has become part of my routine....and  yes i do feel better.
             One of the reasons Master wanted me to join was to 'tone' up.  I have lost quite a bit a weight, and He feels i would look and feel better, if i 'toned' my muscles.  Once i joined, He wanted me to get measured and report on my progress.  I was not thrilled...or happy...or really even willing.  This body will never be toned, i argued.....I am too old....i don't care if i am toned or not....Master offered to do the measuring, once a week.  I said they would measure me at Curves, but they do it once a month.  He was hesitant, but agreed.  I did get measured twice, showed a loss of a few inches.  
       Today, Master remarked that it had been a while since He had a measurement report.  After a slight hesitation, i confessed that i had not asked for one, even tho the computer reminded me that it was time every time i checked in.  He asked me why....and i said just going should be enough...who cares about the measurement?  He replied that He is not trying to get me to be in athletic shape, but He views the measuring as an indication of how i am doing.  I honestly don't care.  He does.  After a bit of of discussion during which He referred to me as being 'fiesty'....He gave me the option of His measuring me once a week, or at Curves once a month or....suffer the consequences...
     I can hear all of you.....GET MEASURED....and i agreed  i would.  Thinking back on it this afternoon, i realized what a small thing He is asking.  He has not said i have to be down a certain number of inches, He says He is sure i will show a loss...He can tell just be looking and feeling me.  So why is it the seemingly little things that i get all fiesty...stubborn about?  Maybe giving up control over the little things in my life, means really giving up control....that the every day things i try to hang on to....are a sign that i do have some control???  Is it too scary to think otherwise??  I don't know...
     Today was maintenance day. When i was kneeling, as Master was reclaiming me, i was a little tense.  Master says, He will be gentle with my nipples today i can relax, He chuckled as i quickly did.  Over His knee for a hand warm-up, followed by the maintenance paddle.  He started on the slow side, but quickly picked up speed and strength.  The last set seemed to last forever, with no break.  Usually He spanks in sets of 25 or so, with breaks for rubbing.  This was one very, very long set.  He finally finished, as i was gasping for breath.  
     He then announces that this is a break, He is not finished.  My head pops up and announces that was a very long spanking...as if, maybe, He did not know that.  He reminds me that i chose to not get measured on time....and that i had replied to one of His requests with a 'sounds good', and not a Yes Sir.  UGH.....Since He is being nice and giving me a break, He suggest i make good use of the time....so i am quickly kneeling and pleasuring Him.
       It does not deter Him...i would never expect it to....and I am back over His lap...25 for the measuring thing, and another 25 for not using a proper response...another one of those little things that trips me up.  Master never goes easy, and my bottom is on fire, He has me rub it, then tells me to not touch it again today.  Since this is not punishment, Master then checks to see if 'she' is enjoying any of this...of course 'she' is....i can hear the sloshing.  Permissions are granted and i am off and soaring...
       What do you think....is it the 'little' things that can be the most difficult to let go of?

hugs abby

      
      
               

Monday, May 26, 2014

Pepere's special potato salad!

           Happy Memorial Day all...

             My dad was not much of a cook.  It was a family tradition when i was growing up that Sunday nights suppers were my dad's responsibility.    They usually rotated between fried balogna sandwiches, hot dogs and scrambled eggs. My father's specialty was reserved for extended family gatherings or occasionally Sunday dinner.  It has become known as Pepere's potato salad. (Pepere is what all his grands and great grands called him)
             He would boil the potatoes with the skins on, peel them while they were still hot and then let them cool.  He would chop them into little cubes, add chopped hard boiled eggs, cukes, onions (in half of the batch), celery and his secret ingredient...sweet pickles.  He used mayo...and some dill ...as the dressing.  I am not a potato salad fan, but i loved this one.  As he worked he always whistled, and when the great grands started to toddle around He would give them the very important job of putting the cukes and pickles into the salad.
              My dad served in the Navy.  He was the youngest of 8 bothers.  They all served during WW II...dad lied about his age, because he did not want to be left behind.  My grandmother's prayers were answered when they all returned....she always said she was one lucky woman.  
           On Memorial Day my daughter lovingly makes pepere's potato salad....minus the whistling.  She did not inherit that gene..she hums.  It conjures up wonderful memories and is her tribute to Him...and to all those who serve their country. I would like to salute and say a heart felt 
THANK YOU to all...
......who are serving our country. Risking their lives, loosing precious time with their families, so that we can enjoy our lives of freedom
.......who are veterans, having fulfilled their service.  Often returning to their loved ones with the visible and invisible scars that such a service can impose.
.........who are no longer with us but served us proudly.
........those who wait for a safe return, giving up precious time together.
........to all those in service to our country..the reservist, first responders...
a very heart felt THANK YOU, we appreciate and value your service.

hugs abby

Friday, May 23, 2014

How Many Lashes Are Too Many??*

   * Yes, Master is enjoying giving me titles....and i am enjoying not having to sit and think of one...love a win/win!

      Master asked me this morning if He should bring His toy bag with Him today.....silly question!!!
      We started, as always with my kneeling time...His reclaiming of me, shutting out everything but us.  His hands cover my eyes as His words are my focus.  I am His..all of me...all of the time....this is our time....to be us...
His hands then start to roam, ending at my breast.  He starts off pinching, pulling and squeezing, reminding me to stay 'in position'.  Then suddenly, He is barely touching, circling, using only His finger tips, i am loss in the sensations.
        It is warm-up time, i am over His lap, relaxing as we chat and He is watching my bottom go from pale to pink to rosy.  He then starts to spank my thighs, wondering out loud why many consider them off limits.  My reply is easy....it HURTS a lot more....which He does not consider a good reason.  After my thighs start to match my bottom, Master asks if we should get a 'toy' from His bag.  When He suggests the flogger i quickly agree:)....that large leather flogger is my favorite, and it has gathered way too much dust!!!
        I am up on my hands and knees, head down, as Master slowly drags the leather strips of the flogger up and down my back, bottom and legs.  He continues, slowly covering all of my body. Master asks if i am enjoying the feel of the tentacles....i have to keep from laughing.  All i can think of is nilla.  She writes fabulous stories...and there is one where tentacles play a major part that i love....so now i am imagining an octopus going up and down my back and legs...LOL!  
       Master moves on to the actual flogging.  He is going from one side to the other, each time He switches sides He seems to increase the strength behind the lashes.  I am just laying there, feeling all the tenseness leave my body, i am absorbing the lashes.  The last few sets are, I think, the hardest ever.....but they leave me in a very good place.  Master is rubbing my back, commenting on the heat.  He then decides that i should turn around and lay back down with my legs wide open.
      He pulls out His 'helping hand'...crop...and says time for a pussy spanking.  He reaches in and makes sure that 'she' is ready and waiting.  I am told to keep my legs wide open and keep my hands out of the way.  He starts of with gentle taps, lulling me along, then not so gentle taps.  I start to move my hands, He tells me to put them under me.....as He continues concentrating on the pussy spanks.  When He is sure that i am very tenderized, He moves to my breast.  
      I am tense...and He tells me to relax He is going to crop my breast.  He starts off fairly lightly, but it really hurts, and i am having a hard time adjusting to the feeling.  He tells me if i take 5 more hard ones on each breast, He will reward me by sucking away the pain.  I take a deep breath and am ready.....5 on one side, i take a deep breath, 5 on the other...and yes they really, really sting!  But as soon as He is done, Master drops the crop and is sucking the pain away on one then the other.....the pain is replaced with a different feeling...a wanting....
     Master keeps His mouth on my breast, and reaches down to to see what effect He is having .....i am so wet...He uses His fingers, His hand, and is looking right into my eyes, and i explode, more than once,  i can barely move.  Master is massaging me, talking quietly , helping me to land gently, and finally i can move.  He suggests i climb on His lap, as He sits...
   I snuggle into His neck, my favorite place, where i am safe and cherished and feel like all is right in my world.  We talk about our recent play times, the intensity seems to be increasing.  Neither one of us feels it is too much, we are dancing our dance....and loving every step.
    How many lashes are too many....we have not discovered the answer to that one.....yet!

hugs abby

Monday, May 19, 2014

To Strap...or not to...

               For most of my life, i dreaded Monday's...who doesn't i guess.  As a student or a teacher, it was the beginning of a new week of classes and work.  Retirement changed that a little....now, when i wake up the first day of the week, i do not even think...'it is Monday'...i think...Maintenance Day.  Master has changed my way of thinking about so many things.
             During my kneeling time, Master tells me that i get to make a choice about maintenance today.  We can either use the maintenance paddle, which i am very familiar with, or the strop.  Master has a large, old, strop that is heavy and packs a big punch.  Master warns me that the strop is leather, but that it will be a long and hard stropping....my choice.  I can let Him know, after my warm up.  It is only then that i notice His toy bag, and the strop already out and visible.
                 After my re-claiming time i am over His lap for a hand warm-up.  I am enjoying, having already made my choice.  Master makes sure that my bottom is rosy and warm before He asks if i have decided.  I have...the strop is my choice.  Master is chuckling...He says He knew it, even if He had told me 1000 with the strop, i probably still would have chosen it. Not so sure about that, but i think we both knew as soon as He told me i had a choice what my response would be.
                    Master has me get up, put a pillow under my bottom to raise it, and lay flat.  A position i like, since i am much less likely to move out of position and it is comfortable.  He starts 10 to a side, then on to the other side.  Often i find that one side hurts more, but this time they seem to 'suffer' equally.  Master increases the force with each set, and altho i am not moving, i am becoming vocal. He stops for some rubbing, commenting on how much heat my bottom is generating.  As always , He also tells me not to let the pain settle on my bottom , but to send it where it can enjoy it.  I always want to reply...you think that is easy???...i usually don't and did not today, but know that once He checks He  will find that the strop was being felt in more than one place.
                       An occasional swing laps over to my side, or is too low..and i let out a louder complaint.  I am responding vocally to each stripe, and i finally hear 5 more, 4, 3, 2, and 1.  He is done....i want a minute to regain my composure, but Master is telling me He wants me up and kneeling NOW...He helps me up and down into a kneeling position, where i am told....suck my cock as if you are begging me not to pick up that strop again....make me forget all about that strop.  I like a challenge, and am up to this one.....
                      I am back over Master's lap, He asks if i can 'hear' my sloshing....i can.  Master prefers to bring me to a slow boil....but the stropping and worshipping His cock...have me already at a simmer.  One hand is concentrating on my clit, while His other one is alternating between rubbing and pinching my bottom.  Then pinching makes me feel the heat, and pushes me to the edge.  I need permissions, they are granted and i am off, and off, and off.  As i am laying, trying to re-gain a level of awareness, i hear Master's voice and feel Him rubbing my bottom.  We start to chat and He goes back to pinching and rubbing....i tell Him to be careful, i am beginning to go past the simmer point....again.  He loves it, and stirs things up even more....and  yes, i need another permission, before i am truly spent, sated, in a wonderful dream like place.
                            Who would not love starting their week not with a Monday....but with Maintenance? 

hugs abby
                         
                      

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Informing or Asking......

       I was feeling a little ummmm....."impish" earlier this week.  On Wednesday my good morning text to Master included a list of errands, not including Curves.  He replied that His list included Curves, i told Him i thought it was wonderful that He was going...He suggested we should meet and compare list.  I told Him i would adjust my list, but it would be nice to see Him there.
       On Thursday, i told Him my plans....His reply....was a yes, but a 'reminder' that i had not included a may I Sir, or a please.  It has been one of my rules, for a long time now, that i must ask for permission to go anyplace.  I can ask when we say good morning, or during the day as things come up....He does not like me to ask more than a day in advance.  If i don't get an answer in 10 minutes, i may go. (That part was suspended once, when i started assuming a yes)
        I very rarely get a no, it is not so much that He wants to restrict my activities, more that He likes to know where i am and what i am doing. Occasionally when i am feeling 'antsy', i will inform rather than ask.  He still gets to know my whereabouts, but i am sending a subtle..or not so subtle message.
          We had some play time yesterday.  During my kneeling time, when He was pinching my nipples, He brought up the informing as opposed to asking.  I replied He would never say no to Curves, and i was letting Him know my whereabouts.  He was not impressed (anyone out there surprised?).  He reminded me that He had offered to meet and compare list on Wednesday and i said i was fine.  I admitted that i probably should have agreed, but felt like i could just 'suck it up' knowing it was a busy week for Him.  He gave me that....raised eyebrow look....and told me that asking is way different than informing, and i was to ask.
         Then i was over His lap for a lovely long hand spanking with lots of rubbing.  Just as i was totally relaxed i feel something much smoother and cooler....like a paddle.  I am having a bit of a problem adjusting to the change in sensation....that never deters Him.  Once i have settled a bit, Master comments that we both seem to enjoy our harder play times, so maybe they should happen more often.  I agree my tolerance for our play has increased, but i would not want the harder play all the time.  It has been a while, a long while, since we have had an tie me up and empty the toy bag session......we both agree that needs to happen.
           We stop chatting and Master finishes up His paddling, i am wriggling, my bottom hinting about other activities.  He tells me to get up, lean over and be sure by bottom is up and out....He is getting the cane.  A surprise, i am not sure i am ready for....as i move slowly and let out a groan.  He comments He just gave me a wonderful warm-up, to get moving.
          I am in position, i am never ready for that first swish.  Master continues, each set a bit harder.  After the first few, i have adjusted to the sting, with breaks for rubbing. Master finishes and tells me not to move, to leave my bottom right where it is.  He is checking and is very pleased at what He finds.  He decides to take me  from behind, i need several permissions, until i cannot stand any more and collapse.....He is there with me, as reality settles in.
            We get up and i go to get my clothes, without thinking i start to put on my bra....He gives me an "AHEM".  One of my first rules... i must ask to get dressed.  Sounds simple enough, but we both laugh (we now laugh) at how long it took me to submit...I quickly ask for permission and get a 'not yet, i am not finished".  I look at Him puzzled....He puts His leg up on the ottoman and signals me to lean over.  He is holding the paddle....."These next spanks are for informing and not asking, asking is to remind you that i am always in charge, you are always Mine".   It is one fast set....but it reignites the fire.....and i know i have been warned.  As i go over to put on my undies, i stop and ask.....Master chuckles as He says He was ready with cane in hand to remind me to ask...i may get dressed.
             
Have a good weekend all...be safe if the weather is crazy....
hugs abby
         

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Over His Knee and.....On His Knee

          Life has been on that crazy side here lately.  I was not even sure that M/M would happen.  Master, on the other hand, can be very determined when He wants something....    
         After our play time, Master asked me if i had a title for the blog entry.  I replied that i had come to rely on Him for that.  Within a second He had 2 choices for me, and i chose the above.  Part of the reason being i don't totally remember the other one, but it had to do with a hard spanking.
         During my naked kneeling time, Master said that it had been way too long and He was feeling 'frisky' ...ready to make up for it. He started by 'mauling'  all of me until He settled on my nipples.  His tugging and pinching became harder and longer as His grin became wider.  When i started to squirm, He reminds me that He is only enjoying "His" nipples...in fact all of me is His play area. I know this, but to hear the words, see the look on His face, and feel His touch, all at the same time, puts me exactly where He wants me.
       I am then invited over His knee....He has the Maintenance paddle out.  As soon as the warm up begins, i tense up.  He tells me to relax, then taps my thighs and legs when i do not quickly respond.  I take a deep breath, and let go of most of the tension.  He continues with  the warm-up,  it seems to go on for an extended time as the spanks become harder and harder.  I hear Him tell me, i can decide when the warm-up is over, by kneeling, and worshipping His cock.  I wait for a few more swats, before i tell Him i am ready when You are....seems we are both  ready!
      I am on my knees, licking, sucking, slurping, starting slowly, and increasing in speed.  I am steadying myself with my hands on Master's thighs, when i hear...hands behind you...mouth only.   Soon His Hands are grabbing my hair, controlling the tempo and holding me in place, making sure i get His full scent.....and taste.  
    Then, i am back over His knees.  He starts in again with the paddle.  Usually He starts slowly and speeds up as the spanks get harder.  This time the spanks do get much harder, but He slows the speed.  He is spanking hard....very hard..and very deliberately.  He stops for some rubbing and 'checking', i make a comment about being glad that is over...He chuckles and replies that He is just starting.  Not words i am thrilled to hear.
         After 'stirring the pot' for a bit, He spreads my wetness all over my bottom.  He says we have missed 'Hard Play Monday'.  I have to think a minute, and honestly reply that i had forgotten all about it.  (The first Monday of every month is supposed to be a harder play day.)  How is it He never forgets any of these things???
       He starts in again with the paddle...slowly and really hard.  I am soon trying to crawl away, and OUCHING, just wanting Him to be finished.  He continues, until my bottom is on fire.  He then admires His art work, as He reaches in and reminds me that at least part of me, seemed to enjoy His little paddle.
       He reaches into my bag and pulls out my large toy.  He is teasing me with it, until He finally decides to give me what i am aching for......several permissions, until i am limp and spent. I start to hear His voice, telling me He has me, He is here for me, He takes care of me.  When i can reply, we chat a bit as i slowly regain strength.
      I quietly ask Him if i can sit on His lap.  He quickly helps me up so i am being held close, snuggled into His neck.....my favorite place to be.  We talk quietly while 'making out'....lol.  
       When i finally get up, i realize that one of his legs is extremely wet....because of me.  He looks at me and sees my huge smile, pulls me in to Him and tells me that is all me and  it seems to make me happy.  I cannot deny it does.  I get up and He says His legs deserve equal treatment , He tells me to sit on His other knee.  I do, but i do not stay still, as i wriggle and try to hump His knee.  He can feel my inner vibrations, and soon His legs are both wet....mission accomplished!:)
         Maintenance spankings have been happening for almost 4 years now.  One would think it would get boring....or at least routine.  Not with Master...He always has delightful surprises in store for me.

Have a good week all
hugs abby






Saturday, May 10, 2014

A Case of the 'Needies'

        
      Since tomorrow is Mother's Day, i would like to wish all of you  mother's, grandma's, aunties.....whatever the title...a very happy day.  One filled with hugs and appreciation....and maybe even breakfast in bed!  That breakfast is a long standing tradition in our house, i have to say the quality of the breakfast has greatly improved over 30 years.

     It was beautiful here today..sunny, a slight breeze and just the right temperature.  I even walked the nearby bike path for, i think, the first time since my surgeries.  It is about 3 miles, and it felt good to be able to complete it.  As i was walking, the word 'needy', kept my mind occupied.  It is a word that seems to be popping up in a few blogs, so i thought i would add my two cents (not that my thoughts are even worth 2 cents)...on the subject.

      I remember when i was first aware of having the 'neediness' bug.  It surprised, scared and bothered me.  It was, maybe 4 years ago, and it hit me like a ton of bricks....me the independent, self sufficient, mostly in charge woman....i was struggling with the emotion.  I had just started blogging and wrote a post about how i was feeling.  A no longer blogging, very wise lady, left a comment.  Basically, she wrote that i was equating neediness with weakness, and it was a bad equation.  It was an emotion i had blocked out of my life, so i was very uncomfortable with it.  Being needy is part of having a strong connection to another person, it is an admission that we are only whole with that person.  As a submissive, that need is what pushes my desire to serve my Master.  I was impressed with her words, i have repeated them to myself when i start to feel uneasy about needing more.

       When i think about it logically...which isn't often enough....i need air, water, food, clothing (well most of the time i do:), i need the human touch, and so on....none of those are considered wrong or bad......there are just needs......

       I have started to be able to express the need to Master.  He always reacts positively, and spanks longer or harder.  When i say that i feel the need for a 'shorter leash' for a day or two, He makes me feel very tethered.  He has told me, more than once, He loves my neediness, it feeds His dominance.  I have told Him that at times, i worry that it is too much, i am afraid of asking for too much...needing too much. I have worried about crossing a line where i have asked for too much...His reply, there is no such line, and if there were i am not even close to it.  I would not be surprised if those are the feelings of many dominants.

        Maybe, being needy, not only  feeds the dominant, it also feeds the submissive.  For me, i feel  more open, more vulnerable when i express my need, when i let it out in the open.  It opens me to more dominance and  fills me with a need to be more submissive......a win/win situation perhaps?? 
Does this mean i will embrace my neediness...probably not....but i can see it as just a natural part of my submission, a tool to bring Master and  i closer.  

      And that is my two cents worth...

hugs, abby
      

Monday, May 5, 2014

Head Space....(Master's title)

         First a big THANKS  to  Sunny!!  I learned a new computer skill......no small accomplishment.

        This weekend was the Revlon Cancer Walk in NYC.  It has become a tradition for my family that as many females as possible  gather together to walk.  One year we had 4 generations... one in a stroller... one year several nieces joined and we had a group of a dozen of us.  Most years we design t-shirts or hats, and we walk in honor of those in our family who have won their battle, and in memory of those who have not.  It is an amazing experience, to see thousands of people, united, walking together down 7th Ave. and through Central Park.  It is emotional to see the names of those being remembered, to see those being pushed in wheel chairs.  Every one helps each other out, and there are people cheering all along the route.  I debated about going this year, i missed last year recovery from surgery.  I am glad i went, it was a great day for a walk!

     Head space was a topic of discussion for Master and i today...mostly because my head was not in the right space.   As most of you know, Monday is M/M day in my life...maintenance Monday.  Most of the time, i am in the correct head space.  It is part of my submission to Master, it helps me to stay out of trouble, and once a week, no matter what, we have this connect time.  Yes, it is a hard spanking, with a paddle, but there is usually also some play time, and permissions are granted.   

    Occasionally, like today, i just want to call the whole thing off.  Life has been a little out of control lately....more so than usual.  My 'voices'
have been getting louder, never a good thing.  I have also been feeling more and more 'needy'....not a feeling i handle well.  It used to freak me out, but i know it is a part of who i am, Master has made it clear, the more i need Him the happier He is.....but i still have times when i struggle with the thought what if...what if it is too much need?  Today was one of those days.

   When Master and i were chatting, I knew He could tell, and then when He told me something He wanted me to do i answered 'OK'.  That is not OK...ever.  He replied...Yes Sir..and waited for me to repeat the proper reply....i hesitated, but not for long, knowing better.  Yes Sir, i repeated.  
When we were together, He asked what was wrong, if i was ready to talk about it...i wasn't, so He settled for a long bear hug.  I said i really wanted to cancel maintenance,  He said that only means that i really need it.  He asked if i ever left after maintenance feeling worse that when i arrived...i had to honestly say no....He grinned and said i would feel that much better today.

    So, after my kneeling/reclaiming time i was over His lap for a long hand warm up.  When He saw me finally relax, He continued the warm-up with the paddle, stopping for some rubbing and chatting.  Then it was time....2 rounds of hard spanks, bringing the tears to my eyes.  When He was finished we did chat, He calmed my  fears, shut out the voices, assured me that needing Him is a complement and that He has plans for the future of our journey......knowing what i needed to hear.

    Then Master brought up the 'OK'.  He was not pleased when i pleaded that i did not use it often.....that did not carry much water.  He declared that He would spank me 20 more times hard, and the next time i forgot, it would be 40, then 60......til my memory improved.  A sure-fire way to improve it.  

   We talked a bit more, while Master's fingers were roaming, rubbing, circling, spreading my 'wetness'.  Then He started to spank me with His other hand, continuing to bring me closer to needing a permission.  He switched to the paddle, and this time i was asking for more, raising to meet each spank, asking Him to continue, until i exploded...loudly....more than once....then laying there, spent, content, safe, knowing i was right where i belonged....the best head space possible!

Have a good week all.....it looks like we will NOT get any snow this week:)!

hugs abby

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thanks Blondie for the Liebster

          Thanks to Blondie at http://ttwdblondiesblog.blogspot.com/  for nominating me for a Liebster Award.  I was away at the time, and i am just getting caught up, so i am very late to this party.  I have just wasted spent 15 minutes trying to copy the award with no luck.  UGH.....so i am moving on to the questions.
1. Am i generally a happy person?  I believe i usually succeed in looking at the glass as being half full.  I have been blest many times over in my life, i also realize that everyone gets to taste the ups and downs in life.  

2. Do i look like my mother?  I think that i carry more of a resemblance to my dad.  I do hope i have inherited her strength..i know i have her stubbornness.

3. Favorite sex position?  Hmmm....Maybe on all fours....makes everything readily available.  But, they all seem to work pretty well...lol.

4. Have you or will you tell your children about your spanking life style? 
    I have not and i cannot see us having the conversation.  Although if they discovered toys and asked, i would answer honestly.

5. Do i own any sex toys...how many....and which is my favorite?  I do...i have never counted..but about a dozen....the favorite that i own....the newest vibrator with the butterfly wings.

6. Have you even had a picture taken of your red bottom after spanking?  I have, more than once......Master likes to be able to look  back and admire His 'art work'.

7. What decade did you attend high school?  The sixties...i loved high school and had lots of fun..even tho it was an all girl's school taught by nuns.

8.  What song do you tend to sing in the shower?  Would you believe...."Jeremiah was a Bullfrog"!

9.  Have you ever thought about walking away from your life and starting someplace else?  I have had the thought, but never to the point of seriously considering it, and not for a long time.  

10.  Would you go on a cruise with your extended family?  YES...we have planned a family vacation for the past 4/5 years.  They are wonderful memories.

11.  Is there a subject that you and your husband talk around and sweep under the carpet instead of dealing with it? Back when...yes..a lot.  With Master, no....

11 Random things about myself....

1.  One year i decided to give each member of my family and friends a cross stitch project for Christmas.  They were fairly large projects, i see many of them still hanging on their walls.  It was a one time thing!

2.  I was the first of my large family of cousins to leave out small town to go away to college, and then to move out of state.  My mom sent the local job ads to me for the first two years.

3.  For a long time i wanted to be a nurse....then i realized i would have to take mostly science and math courses....change that plan!

4.  All three of my children have December birthdays....yes it was, and still us a super crazy month.

5.  My birthday is the only day of the year that is a command....that is all i am telling you!

6.  "It is what it is", is one of my favorite sayings.

7.  Everyone thinks in my family considers me the....quiet, conservative one.

8.  As frustrating as some of the days were....i love teaching junior high...every day was a new adventure.

9.  I cannot carry a tune....even with a basket.

10.  My favorite meal of the day is breakfast.....if i had my way, a large breakfast, then a late lunch/early dinner....and i would be happy.

11.  I have worn glasses since i was 11.....could never even think of getting contacts in.

Now i am supposed to nominate others, i think most of you have all ready posted on this.  If you are on my blog roll, and have not been  nominated and want to join the fun, i nominate you!  Here are your questions...

 1.  What is your favorite dessert?

2.  Have you even been to a spanking party or club...would you like to go?

3.  What is your least favorite season?

4.  If you could live in any other state or country, which would you choose?

5.  How old were you when you first starting wondering about spanking?

6.  What is a secret talent you have?

7.  Do you blush easily?

8.  You are planning a dream vacation...on the go every day or lazy days by the beach?

9.  What talent do you wish you possessed?

10.  If you could have lunch with anyone....who would you choose?

11.  Have you ever been spanked 2 days in a row...longer?

I love learning more about all of you....so come on....at least answer the questions!

hugs abby

PS...i just previewed...and the link to Blondie's does not work...so sorry my friend...i am such a computer KLUTZ!  If anyone has the patience to write detailed baby steps on how you can just click on the person's name and go
 to the blog, i would be willing to try....