These questions are from Mona Lisa:
1. What does my family know about Master's role in my life?
They do not know that He is my Master....if they ever suspected...i am pretty sure they would quickly decide...no way! Overall, i think they just like to see me happy.
2. Why are you so hard on abby and so mean to her?
I admit to having no idea what He would say.
If you think abby is a saint it is because of our basement visits. She does protest and try to get of them....they are no fun....and she hates them....that is why they work. I am hard on her, because sometimes that is what she needs. I only want what is best for Her. And i think that sometimes, she likes me mean.
3. When do you know that enough is enough and that abby you do not want to go over the next hard limit?
Well, Master has never pushed me beyond a hard limit or even wanted to try. When is enough ...enough? I guess i do not know. I do know that my answer 10 years ago would have been very different than what it is today. If Master had given me a checklist on the day we met, i would have checked 'not interested' on probably 80% of the items. Five years later....on 40%....today, over 19 years later, maybe 10%. What has changed...i have. I have learned to trust this man, He may hurt me, but would never harm me. All the difficult things He asks of me....are for my own good. He has taken the time, and made the effort to really get to know me...all of me...and it did not scare Him away.
Also i do have a safe word. Now, i have never used it, but i have absolutely no doubt that if that word left my mouth, all action would stop, and we would talk. I have had cramps or numbness from being tied before.....but i simply told Him i had a cramp or whatever, and we stop, i stretch and change positions. So hopefully, enough is never enough.
* Mona, thank you for these questions. I now you ask them as a friend and out of concern for me, i appreciate that. I hope my answers have helped you to be less concerned.
Clara Baker asked:
Do i think i thought about or desired submission when i was younger?
Interesting question. I do not think so....I was a product of the generation that was first realizing that the female sex could indeed be on an even level with the male of the species. I set out to be an in charge type of person....and i succeeded. I made it clear my classroom was not a democracy, i became a leader at work, and i made most of the decisions at home. It was what i wanted, and i worked at it, and was pleased at what i achieved.
Even when i first met Master it was a few years before i even considered that the word submissive was not something i should run from. Having said that, i do believe that it has been part of me that was just buried deeply, and might have never been given the light of day, had i not me a certain someone for a beer one December afternoon.......
How do i feel about being spanked to tears?
Spanking me to tears is a fantasy of Master's. It has never happened. I have cried for Him, but it took years to get there, and it has happened only a few times. The first time, was after an extensive play session, and many permissions, and suddenly i burst into sobs. I never way it coming, would have tried to prevent it. He quickly pulled me into Him, held me tight and talked softly. I have been spanked hard enough to cry, have had tears in my eyes....but the crying has not happened.
I would love to have His fantasy fulfilled, but it is not something i can force to happen. I think the release for me would be wonderful, and finally giving Him my tears would be awesome....hopefully, someday.
I think i have a couple more questions for next time...