Master does not like to let things get too....habitual. Sometimes i think....wow, what a great idea....other times....i wonder if He is really serious....and other times i just gulp.
I send Master a daily email.....it was one of my first rules, and helped when were just beginning to communicate and get to know each other. I also am better at writing my feelings than speaking them. I have improved, but sometimes, i still just cannot get the words out. Last Friday, i included in my daily report, that i had been 'out of sorts' lately.
I wasn't sure why....spankings are regular, we are in touch every day, i just was feeling like i needed more...maybe a tighter 'leash' for a short while. I added, that often just writing what i am feeling helps, and if He chose to do nothing, i would accept that. Just sending it, and knowing He knew....i felt better.
Saturday night as i am getting ready for bed, i get a text...clip one set of the cuffs. He occasionally does this, and i thought, this is His way of getting me to give up some control. In reality, i should have known....it was just a peek at what He planned....
Sunday morning, as we get to the end of our chatting, i am told...for today you will ask for permission to use the potty. You may not go til you get permission. I reply....um.....really???? I am trying to quickly process what i have just heard. He continues, this is about me giving up control...about strengthening our connection. He is waiting for a Yes, Sir....and He finally gets the reply He is waiting to hear.
The day proceeds well, i text....and get a permission. Til, after dinner, i text and wait...about 20 minutes later, i text again...saying ....i have to go now. I figure i will give Him a couple minutes, and then i will go...just as i am moving toward the bathroom i get a text saying...go now. Later we chat about the day, the feelings it evoked, and if i felt my "leash" getting shorter. He also reminds me that the day is not over....the rule stays until the end of the day.
Monday is maintenance day. As i am over His lap, He asks if i have decided yet if i am going to blog about yesterday. I chuckle and ask how He knew i was debating...at first i was thinking of titles...then i was thinking, maybe not. I decided it is part of what we do, and it will probably happen again so here it is. We discussed how i felt having to ask and wait, how giving up control is not meant to be easy.....that much i know...i am an 'in charge/go to person. Our M/s is not a game...it is real life. He continues with the next time, I expect more reports oh how you are doing, how desperate you are....it will not be a ask once, get a permission. He also stressed that i need permission for the bathroom visit...i am still thinking about this, it will not be an every day thing, or even every week, it will be a ...whenever He wants it to be, i guess.
We then discuss that He wants us to play harder more often. We both do like the harder play but it is harder for me when there are long lapses between the harder play times. Also, Master has noticed that i do better when i know what to expect..what to wrap my head around. So, it seems that the first Monday of each month will be a harder play day.
During the chat, Master was massaging and rubbing, it was now time for spanking. After a nice had warm up, came the small paddle. Each set increased with intensity, i was thumping my feet, and starting to squirm when He stopped. I looked up with a grin. then he let me know we were not done, He wanted to chat some more. We talked about how good i have been on maintaining my weight and how lax i have been on getting exercising. I do want to start exercising, i know it will help me get back to where i was before the surgeries,,,and maybe better...i just can't decide what i want to do...or i guess i just really am not all that excited about starting a program.
Master then says, this week your extra task (extra task???) for Me will be to wear your plug whenever you leave the house. I look up at Him to see if He is laughing...as in this is a joke...He is not. He wants me to get used to the plug so i do not hate wearing it...and it will keep me focused. He asks if i have any errands for today, i say i was debating, but now will do a few (figuring the task started tomorrow). He says good, i can put your plug in before you leave today. A rule is i have to bring my toys whenever we meet for maintenance.
I am at a lost for words, until i start saying OUCH, maintenance spanking round 2 has started. This round is fast and furious, Master is on a mission that i feel the after effects for a day.....i love feeling the after effects,,,do not love what it takes to get there.
When Master thinks He has achieved His goal, He tells me to kneel between His legs, and show Him how pleased i am with my new rules.
I am back over His lap, ready for a few permissions of my own, and Master does insert my plug. It takes concentration to keep it in place, and i am very efficient in getting my errands finished. I text Him when i get home, and get permission to remove it.
Changes are in the air...lots of changes...after 12 years, He still surprises me...and knows how to get my attention.