First I want to share some good news about my recovery. You have all been so supportive with your well wishes, they really helped...thank you!! All of my tubes and drains are gone, it feels so good to be just me. My kidneys are improving and i am starting to feel like me....my energy is slowly returning. No doctor appointments for 1 month!Master has been very supportive. Reassuring me, gentle hugs, reminding me that i am His no matter what is happening. Just being there for me, wanting to help any way He could. Life has a way of showing you how lucky you are, even when you are going through a difficult time. I have come to appreciate family, Master, friends and all of you in a new way.
Since i am feeling much better and have even been on a couple outings, Master decided yesterday would be a good day to start erasing the 'what ifs'. After some chat and lots of hugs, including some of His special 'big bear' ones, He sat, looked at me and said, "it is time". He pointed to His feet....he wanted me kneeling......and naked. I stood almost frozen. He talked quietly to me, then stopped and looked at me....His look drew me in. I knew i had to take this first step. I started to undress, His eyes never left me. He put a pillow down for me to kneel on, and helped me get into position. I was kneeling naked, and the look on my Master's face made it all OK. ( are you listening roz?).
He had me put my hands behind me, and slowly started to claim me. A couple times i started to lean away from Him, He gently pulled me back. There was a little bit of breast play, just enough to remind me that all of me is His.
He then asked me if i would be comfortable over His knees. He helped me get up and slowly get over His lap, making sure i was comfortable. He started with a light hand spanking, with lots of rubbing. I was soon relaxed and enjoying and so happy to be 'me' again. It was an all hand spanking, just enough to put a rosy glow on both of my cheeks. Master remarked that it was probably only the second time He used only His hand to spank me,,,the other being the first time He spanked me...lots of years ago. I think He was right about that....but both times, it was just what i needed.
There was some 'checking' along the way.....to see if i was responding. That was not to be.....but i do know it will come, eventually. As Master continued to hand spank, i started to feel overwhelmed....and started to cry, I think it was relief , but i could not stop. Master started to slowly rub my back and bottom and just let me cry it out. When i was done He asked me to sit on His lap...i could not. He said OK. let me know when you are ready, as He continued to rub.
Eventually i said i was ready.
He helped me up and onto His lap, cradling me so my head was on His shoulder. He held me tight, nuzzling and talking softly in to my ear. Telling me all the things i needed to hear, being sure i heard them, soon i could feel myself just melting into Him, knowing i was just where i belong, where i have longed to be.