Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Welcome 2014!!

     I usually am sentimental at year's end...looking back to all the special and good times, thinking how fast time has passed.  This year i am tempted to just say.....good riddance.  The year started with an unexpected death of a young family member....and never did seem to recover.  Yes, there were fun times and special moments....but mostly the year reminded my family to hug and hold each other tightly and remember to say the 'I love yous'.....and our special reply..'I love you more'.  Even the grands are beginning to catch on to that reply...and insist that they do.

     My time away with family was  hectic but wonderful.  We celebrated 2 Christmases, with 5 children under the age of 5.  We shared good news...a niece got engaged, and another announced a new baby on the way.  Twenty- five of us gathered at my sisters to laugh, share, and be thankful that we were indeed all together!

     Master and i had M/M time yesterday.  He gave me a grade of 85 with keeping up with my rules while i was away, i would have graded myself lower, so i am happy that His is the grade that counts.  We looked back on this year agreeing that despite life interfering in was a year of growth, new experiences, and closeness.  

      I am so grateful for all of you....your support,  your friendship, your comments, .... we are one lucky bunch to have each other!  I wish that 2014 brings you lots of smiles and happy tears, good health, lots of spanks (and more), contentment and a happy heart!

hugs abby

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Wishing all of you the Merriest.....

      Yes i know i am a little early, but i will be getting caught up on grandma time during the next couple of weeks, so i am not sure how much blogging time i will have.   When I was ill, my kids bought me an incentive gift....tickets for all of us to go see the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show...all i had to do was get better in time.  I made it...the show is Saturday, we are all meeting at my daughter's, she is about an hour away from NYC, and spending Saturday getting lots of Christmas spirit going.  I will be leaving with my son's family, to spend the week before Christmas with them, i have not seen his 2 little ones since August.  The day after Christmas we are all meeting up again...this time in Maine.  We will be celebrating Christmas will my mom, siblings, and nieces and nephews.....and grands....passing on family traditions to a new generation!  Hopefully the weather will be some what cooperative, so we can get all this accomplished.

      Master and i had some 'just us' time this afternoon.    While i am kneeling for Him, He is searching through my toy bag. It is a rule that i bring my bag to all  'play' sessions, lots of times it does not even get opened.   I start to feel a strange 'prickly' sensation on my breast.  Master is using my little metal pinwheel toy.  I love the sensation of it, just not so much on my breast.  He is rolling it over, under and around my breast.  He starts to concentrate on my nipples, rolling it over them, encircling them.  I am squirming as i try to relax into the sensations.

      Over His lap, for a hand warm up as we chat.  Too soon, i feel the quick spank of my light frog paddle.  I am enjoying the light smacks, when Master decided to concentrate on one spot, with harder smacks.....that light paddle is turning my bottom hot.   He repeats with the other side.. He is a very symmetrical person.  Then i feel a sharp,stinging spank...that hurts.  I cannot guess what it is....it is a spatula.  I though i had thrown it out last time Master used it.......Master then explained to me...that it is my bag, but i need permission to 'clean' it out.  Next i feel the coolness of heavy wood....Master has found the Yankee's paddle.  It is like a double whammy, getting paddled...with a Yankees themed paddle.  He gives me 25 harder ones, and stops....says He is going to 'stir up the pot'....He uses His fingers, to bring me close, then backs off.  He tells me He is going to continue, until i ask Him for 25 more with the paddle.  

      I decide to see how long i can hold out.  I know from the beginning it is a losing battle...He knows my body way too well, and the of course...'she' is always cheering Him on.  Master is telling me He has all the time i need, and to remember, no cumming without permission...and no permission til 25 more.   He chuckles as my breathing becomes more of a pant, i am losing my battle......i try to talk to take my mind off what is happening to my pussy....finally i just have to admit...it is a losing (or winning , i guess) battle.  I ask for 25 more with that darn paddle.  I lay quietly as He is happy to fill my request, and i just want them to be over.  As soon as they are, His fingers are back at it. My whole body has a big tremor, just as i ask for permission.......He does not stop after one......but i am beyond being aware of anything but sensations and tremors.  

       After some quiet time, and some being cradled on His lap, and more kneeling, during all of which Master is reminding me to be His 'good girl' while i am away.  I answer that i will try, that used to be my standard answer...He replies with , don't just try do it....this time i reply with Yes Sir....

     I wish all of you a holiday season filled with treasured traditions...and as much 'stress relief' as you need!  I plan on finding time to check in with all of you at least once.....if not, i will be back in a couple of weeks.

hugs abby

Monday, December 9, 2013

Friend or Foe

           If anyone ever walked in on Master and i when were having a 'session', they would take a look around, and ask where is the other person??  Master likes to check and see if my ouches and squirming are really warranted.  He checks to see if i am 'wet' or not....and yes in spite of my 'complaints'  a part of me is enjoying it....Master refers to my pussy as 'she', i call her 'the traitor' or the foe.

       Monday's in my world are M/M day.  Some Monday's i am accepting of the fact that i will get a hard spanking, and that 'she' will betray me.....but that betrayal will lead to my needing a couple permissions, and a satisfied, spent and calm me.  Other Monday's i just wish it was not Monday, i am not 'in the mood' for a hard spanking, and why oh why Is Master so consistent?  This was one of those Mondays.  Not sure why, but i have been out of sorts for a few days, maybe the more i need it, the less i want it......

     The routine for Monday's always starts the same way.  Hugs, naked kneeling to help me shut everything but Master and i out, then over His lap.  A hand warm-up, then the small, but heavy, brush paddle.  The spanking is meant to keep me out of trouble, so Master's believes that it needs to make an impression ( i have a different view of maintenance, but we all know who's view counts.)

       Master starts in with the paddle, i am having a hard time settling in and accepting.   Master, as always tells me to stop concentrating on the pain from my bottom and think of how wet i am getting...i have learned there is no denying the wetness part.  He stops to check, and yes 'she' has awakened and seems to be enjoying this.  I am complaining, a bit, Master surprises me by pulling me in, holding me in place, and letting the little paddle fly...fast, furious, and HARD.  He is talking, i hear Him saying....my bottom belongs to Him, He can spank as long and as hard as He wants, all of me is His.....it is a reaffirmation i need to hear.

       He finally stops and as i am trying to breathe again, He checks with  'her'.....she is 'squishing'...obviously she agrees with Him.  Master continues to use His fingers to bring closer and closer to needing a permission.....then He says....one more thing.  I am beyond trying to remember what that might be...He asks me....did i give you a task yesterday?  ARGH!  He did, something for me to do while i was out having lunch....and i did  not. I did not forget, i just did not get the opportunity, and , to be honest, did not try to make one.  Of course, He did not forget.

        He asks me what my punishment should be....all this time His fingers are still working their magic...i am close to going from 'squishy' to 'gushing'.  He reminds me, there will be no permission until i answer His question. I am debating and trying to calm myself.  Last time i had to determine a punishment i chose 10, i figured i needed to up  that, but my bottom was still hot from maintenance.  I said 20 with His hand.  He agreed with the 20.....but not the hand....back to the darn paddle. He reminded me that a task needs to be completed, and is not supposed to be easy....we have gone beyond easy....easy was 7/8 years ago.  I am told to count them...i lay my head down, and start counting, i add a Sir on my own.  Half way through He stops to rub...ahhh....He tells me how proud He is that i am accepting this punishment, and have settled into it.  The last 10 add to the heat of my bottom and He is done.

     Of course He checks again....and 'she'....has not been deterred by these last 20. I am quickly asking for permission.....and i am soon lost to this world.  Master is rubbing my back, waiting for me to calm...and says...it seems that the harder I spank you , the harder you cum...He has evidence to back it up, and i cannot even argue the point.  Master and 'she' win....but then, i did not exactly lose!

Hope you are all staying safe and warm
hugs abby



Saturday, December 7, 2013

Friday "F" day

      First, if the Christmas spirit has not grabbed you yet, i have a solution.  Go visit Ana at http://governingana.wordpress.com/   and read the daily advent calendar offerings. They will make you laugh, cry and think...and get you into the spirit.  They make me (almost) wish i was still teaching....they would be ready made lesson plans for the month of December...outlining the history of the Christmas tree....a debate on should children believe in Santa ( i taught junior high), a random act of kindness day...and a discussion of how your deed made  you feel...you get the point!  Thanks Ana for all your work!

          On my good news front, i saw 2 doctors this week...and they do not want to see me for 4 months!!!  A year or more would have been better, but a big improvement over every 2/3 weeks!  As of today i am also finished with the Christmas shopping...and wrapping or bagging.

            On to "F" day.  When Master and i were chatting Friday morning i asked if it was going to be an F day. No, not that F...... F as in Fun.  Since we have M/M for Monday maintenance, i thought we should have Friday fun.  He agreed, only, of course what type of fun was His decision.  I decided to add to the fun by wearing some extra sexy undies....He appreciated it and it started the fun!  Then came the naked kneeling....the relaxing, getting into 'our time' mode, tuning out all distractions.  Then over Master's lap for a long hand warm-up.  Master kept 'checking', just to be certain that all of me was having fun..:).  He then decided that our fun activity, would be a sound 'belting'.  Now i do love His belt, but it does take me a little time to get into the 'right' mindset.  He asked if i had enough of a warm-up, i hesitated, so He continued with the warm up for a bit, and then announced it was enough.

             Master wanted me, head down, bottom up. I soon heard that delish noise, of His belt being removed.  He doubles it and starts in....it takes a few rounds before i can relax.  He starts with the belt doubled, then extends it.  I am not as fond of the extended belt, He nicely returns to doubling it.  I am not sure how many, since i was soon in my zone of 'leather ecstacy'.  Master stops after every couple of rounds for some rubbing and checking.

              Master then decides it is time to turn Friday Fun into something else.  Yes....that other "F" word you were all thinking about.  A hard Friday Fucking.  It has been a while, a long while since caution was thrown to the wind, so go speak.  But, it did not take me long to realize i was groaning, grunting and dripping.....and finally spent and totally limp.  When i could talk, i told Master He turned me into a wild animal, His reply was He simply found the key to the cage!

              We ended with me on His lap, being cuddled, and some quiet chatting.  We certainly did accomplish our goal of.....Friday Fun!

               Hope you are all staying warm and cozy,
              Hugs, abby

Monday, December 2, 2013

Having "title" block...

   Sorry about that title, but i have been sitting here not liking anything that i can think of, and i do want to get this posted tonight..  

   First, I hope you all had a Thanksgiving that filled your hearts and your tummies.  The weather was iffly, but we did make it to my daughter's.  The two 'grands' were very excited, they had been helping with the pie making, and i showed them how to make 'turkeys' from oreos, frosting, and various candy.  We made one for everyone to enjoy!  My heart was also very full this year...I was just so happy to be there and to be enjoying all the festivities.  
The rough times in life teach you how strong you can be....but they also teach you the importance of the support from friends...like everyone of you.  

  I had a surprise planned for my granddaughter.  Last time i was visiting she introduced me to her favorite group...she is 5!  Their music is age appropriate, and i discovered they were having a concert in NYC Thanksgiving weekend.(My daughter lives about an hour away).  So I wrapped a t-shirt and had her guess what it meant.  She guessed and was so excited.  At the concert she danced and sang and hopped with every song.  She so loved it, and just sitting there watching her was awesome! I think we will both remember it for a very long time.

  Today was M/M day.  during my kneeling time, Master commented that i seem to forget something while i was away.  I asked if it was my reports....He said no, He had assumed i had no internet. ( I did not reply;).  I could not think of what it might be.....He asked if i had called when i had arrived safely...oops.  It was nite, the drive had been long, the kids were excited, and yes i forgot.  I did remember to text a good night, so He did know i was safe.  I was told to remind Him when He was done with maintenance.

  After a long...and hard...hand warm-up, the maintenance paddle came out.  Master almost always tells me to take the pain and used it...concentrate on how wet i am getting  and how i can use that..not on the pain on my bottom.  I always want to say....not that easy.....i sometimes get there after a bit.  After Master was done with His paddle, He asked if i was interested in sucking His cock.  Silly question, i was quickly kneeling and enthusiastically answering Him.

    Back over His lap, Master commented that He was waiting.  I told Him i had forgotten to call Him to let Him know i had arrived safely.  He asked what a fitting punishment would be....I hate that question....especially when my bottom is already sore.  He waited, until i finally said 10 more with the paddle.  He then asked....what kind of spanks.  I settled on medium....I had to say, I will remember to call Master when i arrive any place so He will not worry.....He then let His fingers roam, and commented that i was really wet...from the extra spanking?...no I said, i could feel myself get really wet when i was on my knees.....i was quickly asking for permissions:)

    Have a good week all!
    hugs abby


Monday, November 25, 2013

A four letter word that Master approves of...

       Since today is Monday....it must be maintenance day!  

       After hugs and getting permissions for some Christmas events that are coming up, it was naked kneeling time.  Master was being mean  concentrating on my nipples...pulling and pinching...i had to concentrate on not pulling away.  Finally, he sits and has me get over His lap.
I start to cross my ankles, quickly pull them apart, but Master smacks my thighs as a reminder.  I tell Him that all of you out there, agree with me that it is just a natural reflex (you will back me up on this....right?).  He laughs...then says he agrees.....but it looks like i am trying to keep Him out, to not be totally available to Him.  He adds, He wants me to be mindful of what He wants..and reminds me that submission should not always be easy.  

      As He starts with a wonderful hand warm up, Master tells me that He has a new rule for me.  Now, i know that my rules have been good for me, they help to keep us connected, help me to remember that i am His.  I take a deep breath, and say.....what would that be Master?  He says that since i have finally paid off my credit card, i now need permission to not pay off the balance each month.  Hmm, i am thinking, this is not a good month to start this rule...i have been Christmas shopping, and it so hard not to overdo a bit for the 4 little ones.  So i quickly add, OK, starting the new year, i will pay off the balance monthly.  He does not buy it....starts now.  He continues, I know life can throw you a curve ball...but unless there is a compelling excuse His answer will be NO!  I did not bother to ask what the punishment would be....no doubt something i would not want repeated.  I sigh as i wave good-bye to more control...

     Master asks if i had enough of a warm-up.  I honestly answer no Sir.  He chuckles, and continues with His hand, but He is concentrating on 1 spot, and adding power to each spank.
Without asking, He announces that warm-up is over, and out comes the paddle.  From the beginning, i am being very vocal...repeating a loud OUCH after each slap...they did hurt!  I am kicking my legs, and trying to move, and just keep saying OUCH.  Master finally stops...and congratulates me....on finally opening up myself enough to let it out....to be vocal and let Him know He is having an effect.  I tell Him it was the safest thing i could think to let come out of  my mouth...and He says.....a 4 letter word I approve of! (actually i was thinking more along the lines of stop, or that is enough, or no more...those only have the opposite effect of what i want.

      Master finds me very wet....for all the noise i was making, a part of me seemed to be really enjoying it.  I assure Him, i was not....' that part of me is just a traitor.  He continues to use His magic fingers to get me to the point of needing a permission. He picks up the paddle again...but continues with His fingers.....pain or pleasure which will win out.  I reach that place where i am about to go off the edge....i get a permission...and i am off, several times.  I am laying there, spent, trying to breathe again.

      Master reminds me of my new rule...and we have some quiet time.  Looks like we will have a very white Thanksgiving here....I am trying to decide when is the best time to travel, we seem to be right in the storm's path.  Master says I can make last minute plans, with no permission, He wants to know when i leave and when i get there.  Happy eating all!

hugs abby


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Normal or abnormal activities....

         I saw the surgeon on Thursday...He lifted all restrictions and said i could resume any normal activities that i felt like doing.  When Master heard the good news...His take was....we could resume any 'abnormal' activities that He wanted....starting with a harder play session.

        When i walked in to see Master...He had His toy bag out.....that got the butterflies going full tilt...it has been a long time since i saw that bag.  As soon as i was naked, Master got the cuffs and put them on my wrists and ankles.  After our kneeling time, He has me stand and clips my wrists behind me.  He then tells me to get over His lap.  He smiles and says...'do you need to ask for help?......i do....and i ask.  This is something new....and i am not comfortable with my hands behind me.  I do tell Him i don't like this....He does give me a pillow for my head.  It is minimally helpful.

        He starts in with His hand, but quickly changes to the hair brush paddle.  I cross my legs once, and get a couple on my thighs....that is not allowed.  He continues to spank harder, he finally asks if i would like to have the cuffs un-clipped....Yes Sir...is my quick reply.  He does and lets me stretch out.  He then takes out the smaller strap.  I relax into it, until He aims at my sit spot....that gets me ouching.  After some rubbing and massaging, Master has me get up.

      I am told to lean over the ottoman, and be sure my bottom is a good target.  He takes out his cane.  I manage to stay in position, but there are no gentle taps with a cane.  When Master is satisfied with my welted bottom and stops,  he rubs, then allows me to rub and feel the welts.
He gives me a 'check' to see how i am reacting.....He is pleased at my wetness.  I am then told to kneel and thank Him.  I eagerly get into position, and show Master how much i have missed Him.

     I am then told to get up, and put my arms up reaching for the ceiling....He tells me higher a couple of times, then tells me to stay that way.  He starts in with some nipple play....my arms start to slip down a little...He threatens to pull my nipples up in place of my arms.  I get my arms back where He wants them.  He continues having His way with my...or His...nipples.  He finally tells me i can put my arms on my head.  He pulls out a large, heavy paddle.  I am a little surprised by the first one...I move forward and let out a yelp.  Master asks what the problem is, i tell Him i was surprised.  He tells me to get back on position and anchor myself.  He tells me to count each one...the first one is not loud enough...i know the only way to end this...is His way.
He admires the welts, the redness, and the heat from my bottom...and is pleased.

     Master then takes out His crop, one of His toys that is on my favorites  list.  It is leather, and can reach many places.  After re-warming my bottom, i am told to lay on my back, keep my legs open, my heels touching.  He is going to warm up my pussy, from the outside in.  I manage to stay in position, as Master aims for my inner thigh, my pussy, and finally my clit.  Master then massages some of the sting out, and i am soon asking for a permission.  I then end up sitting on His lap, where we talk quietly, nuzzling and just relax.

      When it is time to get dressed, i ask if i can remove the cuffs.  He says no....no surprise since He likes to put them on, and take them off Himself.  But after i am dressed and still waiting for Him to remove them, He tells me to wear them home, keep them on for as long as i can.  I happen to be wearing jeans and a long sleeved hoodie, then change to jammies for bed so i wear them until the next morning.  I woke up to a still sore bottom, a reminder that i am His, that i can indeed still play hard, and that Master knows what i need.


Monday, November 18, 2013

Master gives me an A+!

           I had a delightful...and tiring week with 2 of my grands.  The 2 year old....and only boy, spent the week teaching grandma that not all vehicles are cars.  "No grandma that is a back hoe....or a front loader.  He was not at all impressed that i know all the Disney princesses!
His sister...5....knows that i always show up with crafts and cooking projects.  

            I even did pretty well with all of Master's expectations.  It used to be, I went away...and left my submission at home.  Master has 'cured' me of that habit.   He gave me an A for my efforts last week....i did omit one thing.  Actually i did not think He would notice, but I should have known better, He remembers and notices everything, it seems.

        Today was M/M day.  After lots of hugs we talked about what a difference maintenance has made for us.  He now rarely has to punish..:)  and i feel more secure and sure of 'Us'.  We talked about how i was doing weight wise...I lost quite a bit during my recovery time, Master would like me to keep 10 of the pounds off.  So far, i have been able to that, even with limited exercise time.  I hope to start walking again this week,,,,after my doc's appt.

     Then it was my naked kneeling and reclaiming time.  Master was concentrating on my breasts, which have not had much attention lately.  As i started squirming, Master reminds me that all parts of me are His...to do with as He wishes.  Finally i was invited over His lap, since Master was so happy with how well i did while away, He started off with a long hand spanking.  He started slowly, but i was soon being reminded that His hand can feel like a paddle.  He stopped and asked me why I only got an A grade and not an A+.  I knew...I replied that He had sort of suggested that i cum for Him twice while I was away...I did...but only once.  He asked if a 'sort of suggestion' means i get to decide....He starts in with His maintenance paddle...it is about the size of a hairbrush, but all wood.  I get  few swats on my thighs when i start to cross my legs.  At the half way point He stops to rub...ahh...then starts up again.  Finally maintenance is finished, but Master is not.  Since i only earned an A...I now have to 'pay the price'.  Ten more hard ones with the maintenance paddle.  I am ouching loudly from the beginning.  

     Master then 'checks' to see how the rest of me was reacting.  He chuckles and thanks me for me being so wet and swollen....the best compliment i can pay Him...He always says.  I am feeling so mellow and good. i just want it to last.  Master of course has other plans.  I am soon squirming again....but this time from pleasure.  Master wants me to say aloud....I will not come without Master's permission...I manage to get it out.   I say....are You going to let me cum.  He says not unless i ask correctly, and i soon do...after His permission, i am flying.  Master asks if i need another permission...i say no.  He continues to get me even wetter and soon i am saying loudly...YES!  We spend some quiet time ...recuperating.

   I then ask Master for permission for a casino day in a couple of weeks.  He asks about my finances since Christmas is coming up.  I smile and say I have a surprise for Him.  As of last month all of my credit cards are paid off...I wanted to surprise Him.  He is excited...I asked Him a while ago to help me get them under control and He is very proud that i have done it!  He says it is His Christmas present...and ups my grade from an A to and A+!!!!

hugs abby

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


   LOL day!  It is a special day to those of us in blog land.  We hopefully get to meet new friends.  New in the sense that we have not met those who choose to be what we call...."lurkers".  Now there is nothing wrong with being a lurker, i was one myself.  I read blogs for a few years, before i 'came out'.  To my surprise, I ended up making new friends, and with some encouragement from them....and a big push from Master, I started "Finally Finding Me".

    I discovered that this part of our world is made up of a very diverse group of people.  Our relationships are all different in many ways.  But even nicer...we are all very much alike.  Whenever i think, I must be the only one who.......once i blog about it, i find i am in very good company.  

   To all of you who read here and don't comment....thank you for reading.  I would love to meet you, I promise a reply if you comment, we will get to know each other.  I have discovered that I have found new, supportive, and interesting friends.  We learn from each other, we support each other, we help each other.  If you are so inclined....a hello would be great....we are always ready to add to our circle!

    hugs abby

Friday, November 8, 2013

Finally Some Grandma Time :)

           I am continuing to improve and have more energy!  I even started my Christmas shopping this week....altho some of it was simply Amazon ordering.  My bottom also seems to be adjusting to Master's hand...and yes even His paddle.

        Monday was our first 'regular' M/M day in over 2 months.  There was kneeling and reclaiming time....a hand warm-up, and then the maintenance paddle.  I was started to ouch from about the second spank...and i am rarely vocal.  Master encouraged me to be vocal....after about the fifth spank i could not lie still and the squirming started, along with being much more vocal.  Master did stop often to rub, and kept it to a short session before we moved on to more pleasurable activities.

      I am leaving tomorrow for some grandma time:)  Master gave me a send off today.  As usual He had me kneeling....but instead of claiming me...He had me claim Him.  I have missed that, His taste, His smell, me pleasuring Him.  Master then claimed me.....and did not go easy on my nipples....When i started to squirm, and wriggle, He said , if I check I bet I would find that some part of you is enjoying this....I so hate it when 'she' betrays me!

     Then it is over His lap, for an extended spanking, one that is supposed to last me a week.
He starts with His hand, lightly at first, then building in intensity, until the swats are slow, but intense.  Master is reminding me that being away only changes the distance between us.  All my 'rules' are still in place, I have my ' tool box' of things i can do every each day to keep my 'voices' away and my head in a good place.  He expects me to ask for at least a couple permissions, and stay in touch each and every day.  

    He then picks up a paddle, the same one He used for maintenance on Monday.  Only this time i have had a very long warm up and altho it does feel like a paddling, I am able to stay quite relax.  Master comments on how much better I am reacting to this  spanking.  After what seems like a long time, Master asks if He has spanked me enough to last for a week. I assure Him He has...he then starts to hand spank my pussy.  He then tells me, if i behave while i am away He will be waiting for me with His 'helping hand'...the crop.  I love Master's crop, it is leather, and it can reach many interesting spots....any place on me that He chooses!

    Master then asks if i want to end in my new favorite spot. I quickly climb up into His lap and snuggle in.  I used to hesitate when He would occasionally want me to be cradled on His lap.
Now i love that it seems to be our new ritual for ending our play sessions.  It is where i can have no doubts that i am safe, cared for, and wanted.  

   My daughter and i are leaving early in the morning. My daughter and son in law have been planning a trip to Hawaii for the past year.  They had considered canceling many times over the last couple months, but i told them no way were they cancelling.  My youngest took time off to help with my grand daughter and grand son....Every one is concerned with my over doing...but one can't overdo on hugs and kisses ...I have planned fun cooking projects and holiday crafts, to keep everyone busy.  

  Hope you all have a good week,
 hugs abby

Friday, November 1, 2013

Celebrations....Master style!

         This has been a great week.  I am feeling so much better, have left the house for some fun outings, not doctor appointments, and there has been lots of Master time!

        On Wednesday, Master decided it was time to start increasing the endurance of a certain part of my anatomy.  So it was OTK for a wonderful hand warm-up.  He then reached into my bag for a paddle.  Paddles are far from my favorite 'toy', so the pickings were slim. He pulled out a very light weight balsa paddle, that is a child's unfinished craft product.  It is shaped like a large fan, there is a frog on the front.  He starts in lightly, increasing the strength and speed. Finally concentrating on one spot, then another.  I was starting to squirm.  He stops for some rubbing....and roaming.  I am getting 'wet', but reaching that elusive "O" is not happening.  I finally say....I can't. He stops and rubs and encourages me.  He then starts to spank my pussy, I am soon reaching toward Him wanting more.  His hand is getting damp,,,,and i need a permission!  Yeah!!!!

     Yesterday i dropped by to cheer Master on.  He has been working on fixing a truck this week, and it is a major project.  He did finish it after I left....so He declared today Celebration Day!  We were to celebrate my recovery, my "boys" (The Red Sox!), winning the World Series, and the truck getting fixed.  

        After my naked kneeling time...and Master's reclaiming of me, Master chose 6 leather 'toys' from his bag.  Two leather paddles, the horse hair flogger, the large leather flogger, a medium leather strap, and the large leather strap.  An all leather day:).  I could choose the order of the toys......small  leather paddle, horse hair, large leather paddle, large flogger, medium strap, large strap.  ( I wanted to be well warmed up, before the straps came into play.)  We used one of the dice from the dice game, the one with the numbers, Master would choose the various positions.  I could choose, 1, 2. or 3 rounds. I quickly eliminated only 1, and finally decided to go with 3...after all it was all leather.

      The die has numbers from 1 to 25.  Master was doing the rolling.  First round was mostly numbers in the 20's with a different position each time.  Second round also mostly high numbers, still all new positions.  Third round the law of averages finally kicked in and the numbers were much smaller.  In fact for the medium strap the roll was 1:)  Master say my big smile, and decided i should lie back and spread my legs.....yes 1 to that sensitive area.  The horse hair was also used once on my breast.....

      It was then time to see, if all of me had really enjoyed my all leather play time.  I had.....and it took a while, but i did get to the point of needed a permission.  Master then invited me to sit on His lap.  Without hesitation, i was up and being cradled.  We quietly chatted and nuzzled and just enjoyed being together once again.

      After I had dressed and was ready to leave I asked for permission to stop at Sub Way on my way home.  I hear a 'nope'.  I look up amazed....I just about never get a no to such a request. Just as I am about to open my mouth, I get invited out to lunch, to end our celebration!  So much nicer than a sandwich at home!  

Have a great weekend, all!
hugs abby


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Master's answer to the what if's

     First I want to share some good news about my recovery.  You have all been so supportive with your well wishes, they really helped...thank you!!  All of  my tubes and drains are gone, it feels so good to be just me.  My kidneys are improving and i am starting to feel like me....my energy is slowly returning.  No doctor appointments for 1 month!  
                  Master has been very supportive. Reassuring me, gentle hugs, reminding me that i am His no matter what is happening.  Just being there for me, wanting to help any way He could.  Life has a way of showing you how lucky you are, even when you are going through a difficult time. I have come to appreciate family, Master, friends and all of you in a new way.

                Since i am feeling much better and have even been on a couple outings, Master decided yesterday would be a good day to start erasing the 'what ifs'.  After some chat and lots of hugs, including some of His special 'big bear' ones, He sat, looked at me and said, "it is time".  He pointed to His feet....he wanted me kneeling......and naked.  I stood almost frozen. He talked quietly to me, then stopped and looked at me....His look drew me in.  I knew i had to take this first step.  I started to undress, His eyes never left me.  He put a pillow down for me to kneel on, and helped me get into position.  I was kneeling naked, and the look on my Master's face made it all OK. ( are you listening roz?).  

              He had me put my hands behind me, and slowly started to claim me.  A couple times i started to lean away from Him, He gently pulled me back.  There was a little  bit of breast play, just enough to remind me that all of me is His.

             He then asked me if i would be comfortable over His knees. He helped me get up and slowly get over His lap, making sure i was comfortable.  He started with a light hand spanking, with lots of rubbing.  I was soon relaxed and enjoying and so happy to be 'me' again.  It was an all hand spanking, just enough to put a rosy glow on both of my cheeks.  Master remarked that it was probably only the second time He used only His hand to spank me,,,the other being the first time He spanked me...lots of years ago.  I think He was right about that....but both times, it was just what i needed.

           There was some 'checking' along the way.....to see if i was responding.  That was not to be.....but i do know it will come, eventually.  As Master continued to hand spank, i started to feel overwhelmed....and started to cry,  I think it was relief , but i could not stop.  Master started to slowly rub my back and bottom and just let me cry it out.  When i was done He asked me to sit on His lap...i could not. He said OK. let me know when you are ready, as He continued to rub.
Eventually i said i was ready.

          He helped me up and onto His lap, cradling me so my head was on His shoulder. He held me tight, nuzzling and talking softly in to my ear.  Telling me all the things i needed to hear, being sure i heard them, soon i could feel myself just melting into Him, knowing i was just where i belong, where i have longed to be.

hugs abby


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The land of "what ifs?"

*****This post is brought to you courtesy of our friend Cat. I am using my new notebook and it would not let me post....she came to my rescue...Thanks!I

     I have always considered myself a fact oriented person.  Look at the facts and draw a logical conclusion.  Granted, not always the right conclusion, but one based on fact.  As i have grown older, i have really tried to train myself to live 'in the moment'.  I tell my kids...'don't buy trouble, chances are it can find you'.  It's been 7 weeks since my last surgery, a long time to have to sit around and recover, time to let past demons reappear, time to let my mind wander to the dreaded land of 'what ifs'.  

     It has been 7 weeks....and counting...since i have knelt, naked for Master. Way back when we were first starting our journey, i remember telling Him....'i don't do naked'. (you can all stop laughing now).  At the time i meant it.  I was much heavier than i am now, i had been often reminded of how un-sexy i was, and i could not imagine anyone wanting to see me naked, let alone my allowing it to happen.  It took a while, but Master got me there, then to the point where i did not even try to cover up with my hands, and finally where i was actually comfortable with be naked for Him.  Well, it's been 7 weeks and...i had a 12 incision which left a scar.  He has seen it, he asked to, i refused, He asked again, sat back and gave that look...the one that says, i can sit here all day and wait....so He has seen the scar.  But i am no spring chicken, and all my insecurities have returned along with the 'what ifs'.

   It has been 7 weeks ..and counting....since i have been spanked, with the exception of some gentle taps on my pajama clad bottom.  I know my tolerance will be very low, what it does not return, what if i cannot stay in place, what if i cannot 'take' a hard spanking or hard play, what if i disappoint Him?  

   It has been 7 weeks ...and counting...since i have cum for Him. Truthfully, the scarier part, since i have had any desire at all.  I used to read your blogs or stories and have to ask for permission, i am still reading and enjoying, but not an inkling of needy a permission.  Whenever i would get embarrassed at how quickly i would get wet and ready, or need a permission, Master tells me ...that is the best compliment i can give Him. What if, i can no longer give it to Him.  

   I can hear you all joining in one voice and telling me...give it time. I have to admit, i have given that advice out lately.  But even when giving out the advice, i also know, time is not always your friend.  What if this submissve can no longer submit, serve or please her Master??????

hugs abby



Saturday, October 19, 2013

returning to blog land with a meme

     First and most importantly.....THANK YOU all for the support and prayers, good vibes, healing thoughts....all of it.  You will never know  how much it helped get through some unexpectedly rough weeks.  This blogging community is an amazing, caring group.

     I never expected to be away for this long. It's been almost 2 months.  It's been 2 long, torturous months, but i am finally starting to feel like 'me'.  As some of you know, nothing has gone as expected.  I would take one step forward...and get hit with the unexpected and be several steps behind.  My latest hurdle was the possibility of kidney failure, but we seem to have that turned around.  I still have some tests and doc visits this coming week, hopefully all of that will soon be behind me.

    I had reached the point of questioning if i would continue to blog.  It has been so long, and i just was not sure if i should just say good by to all of you. But i would miss you all too much, and Fiona gave me a 'gentle' shove to complete this meme...so here i am.

The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? 
    "Hello grandma" are the opening words i love to hear.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
     Depends, in a group friends, a talkier, a group that i am new to much more of a listener.

Do you take compliments well?
       Not usually, i am trying to learn to just say thank you and not question their judgement.

Are you an active person?
      LOL...active as in physical activity....well the past 2 months not at all, usually i at least try.

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive?
     No way...

Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
     Yes, for many summers, it was a blast.

What was your favorite game as a kid?
         I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids....hide and seek, was a favorite, til the lights went on and we all had to scurry home.

Are you judgmental?
   The older i get, very much less so.....

Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
  Hmmmm, in college....both.....now the latter.

Use three words to describe yourself.
Caring, creative, reliable

If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
I would choose deaf, in a heartbeat.

Are you continuing your education? 
Yes, thanks to my very smart grand children!

Do you know how to shoot a gun?

How often do you read books?
Mostly every day.

Do you think more about the past, present or future?
 The present, i am learning to 'enjoy the moments', they pass too quickly.

What is your favorite children's book? 
When i was growing up it was the Cherry Ames RN series, i would devour an entire book in one day.

Where is your ideal house located?
I love being near the water, ocean first preference, lake second.

Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties or grannies?
Until Master stepped in 'grannie panties', now still panties, but prettier.

Last person you talked to?
my daughter

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes...with my grand daughters...they loved it....

What are your keys on your keychain for?
House, Car

Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
LOL,,,,up the stairs. 

Where is your current pain?
Occasionally on my side, where my tubing still is.

Do you like mustard?
Honey mustard is yummy.

Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
The past 2 months its been sleep, but usually it all depends on what is what's cooking.
,Do you look like your mom or dad?
Both , i think.
How long does it take you in the shower?
I have always considered a long hot shower a luxury, so when i can as long as the hot water lasts.

What movie do you want to see right now?
Oh, i am not even sure what is out there.

What did you do for New Year's?
Stayed in and watched the clock tick down.

What was the cause of your last accident?
Tripping over an uneven sidewalk.

Sorry about the different colors and fonts, laptop seems to have a mind of its own lately.

hugs abby

Sunday, September 15, 2013

I am finally...sort of...back

     First of all...a great big....THANK YOU ALL....for the prayers , good wishes, bubbles..whatever. 

     Things did not go quite as planned.....3 hour surgery turned out to be 5, with complications. Another 8 day hospital stay.  I am home, but far from recovered, my daughter is learning far more that she ever wanted about yucky medical things like drains and dressings. My son flew in last weekend, my oldest daughter has been here for the past few days, and my sister arrives tomorrow to help out this week. 

      It will be a long time before you are reading about any thing kinky or sexy or spanking related here. I do play on maybe weekly postings, and I will be catching up with all of you...my wonderful blogging friends. I am counting on all of you to keep life interesting for me.  Thanks again for all of your support.

hugs abby

Sunday, September 1, 2013

A...hopefully short...medical leave.

  Then time is almost here...Tuesday morning i leave bright and early...well at least early..for my second surgery.  The doctor is confident and has a plan....i am trying to be confident and positive.

    Doc said to plan on 7 days in the hospital before all my parts are working well enough so I can recuperate at home.  I am really hoping for a smoother, faster recovery than last time.
What ever it is you send...karma, bubbles, good thought or prayers, i am accepting all of it..

   I will post again as soon as i can to let you all know how i am doing.

  hugs abby

Friday, August 30, 2013

The dice game....Master style!

   Nothing is better than when I call Master to remind Him that it is lunch time...and I hear...lunch???, I am thinking it is play time!  Also, as He reminded me..I have a baseball bet to pay off.

   Yes, sadly my boys let me down last weekend.  The Sox lost the series to the Yanks...I had put up a play session with the spanko dice game that we have, He put up all wood session...Yesterday I was given the task of recording the scores of each  of the games in the series. When I looked them up, they were a lot of runs scored..ut oh.

   When I walked in today, I saw 4 paddles in a line on the ottoman...small hairbrush paddle, a medium wooden paddle with holes, a larger heavier one, and the Winnie the Pooh paddle.
The middle two made me groan, and Master chuckle.

   After lots of hugs ( I had a bad day yesterday, over thinking my future surgery) Master had me kneeling, as  He both claimed and calmed me.  He decided we would blend my dice game hope with His winning all wood session. The man is creative!  There are 3 dice in the dice game, one that has numbers from 1--30, one that has maybe 12 different positions, we would use each of those....the one we did not use has different 'toys' on the facets.  We would be using the four paddles.

    As Master kindly gave me a hand warm-up, He explained the 'rules'. Since the Yanks scored 14 more runs that the Sox I would roll the dice 14 times.  That would decide the number of swats and the position.  The paddles would be used in the order that were placed on the ottoman. At this point the hand warm-up stops and He concentrates on how wet He can get me...He continues, that since He is feeling generous He will give me 2 passes, where I can skip that roll of dice...so I will get spanked 12 times.  He warns me not to use up my passes too quickly, since I may regret that at the end. And just to make it more interesting,,,,on my passes, He will play with my pussy until I am on the edge of cumming before we continue.  Do you have all that...He is an engineer..what can I say??

   The game starts, the spanking gods are with me on my first four rolls...I get a 4 with the heaviest paddle and a 12 for the paddle with holes...the largest number was 20.  I am grinning, Master is shaking His head.  On the second round I roll a 29 for the paddle with holes, I pass. Mater reminds me it is early, but that is a lot with a paddle that is very ouchy.  So He get to see how close to cumming He can get me...very close.  When I roll for the heavy paddle, I heave a sigh of relief...2 :), I don't to use my second pass!!!

    Round three and I use my last pass on the 29 with the heavy paddle...I have chosen wisely;). I am back over Master's lap, and I am dripping...the last 3 rolls are all in the teens, my bottom is read and sore....but it could have been so much worse!!!!  After the last roll and spanking, Master tells me to kneel and show Him how much fun I had....He remarks how enthusiastic I have become to pleasing Him....I have grown to love it....

    Then I am back over Master's lap, where I am so wet, He decides that most of His fist will be used.....the timing is good, I am relaxed and wet, and I am soon, shaking and moaning, and needing permissions.  As I come back to the real world Master is rubbing and talking softly and telling me how proud He is of me.  How far I have come, in so many ways, and how much further He plans on taking me.

    The Sox and the Yanks get another go at it before the season is over....Master says if  my boys do not let me down again....we can play the dice game with an all leather theme....now that is something to look forward to!!!

   Have a great last weekend of summer....
   hugs abby

Monday, August 26, 2013


        Master and i had lunch time together today, only we forgot to eat...LOL!

        I always worry when i have been away for a while that it will be awkward or difficult to get back to where we were....foolish me, all it takes is one of His big bear hugs and to see the happy grin on His face...and i know i am back where i belong.

     We both agreed that 3 weeks is way too long, although it seemed like a good plan at the time.  We both said at the same time, that after 2 weeks it is just too long even though we do stay in daily contact. My hat is off to those of you who are in long distance relationships, it is so hard.

     I bought a gift for Master, when my sister and I were exploring shops.  They had paddle ball games...in the colors of the baseball teams, and their logos on the paddle. I hesitated, they were not the light wood ones, but more like a polished lexan...so I knew it would pack a sting.
Then I had to decide...Red Sox or Yankee's....since it was a gift for Master I decided Yankee.  He loves it ( of course)...I told Him He could only use it when the Yanks lost to the Sox....you can guess what He used for maintenance today.

   Then I was cuffed, kneeling, and being re-claimed. I was ( mostly) good and Master was pleased.  Then i climbed over His lap, my favorite place to be. Master said, "we have 3 weeks of maintenance to make up for",...I quickly reminded Him of the 4 days of maintenance before I left....He sort of remembered.

    Since it has been 3 weeks, Master started off with a long hand spanking, with lots of rubbing, i was so relaxed and content, i was melting into His lap.  Then i feel the sting of Master's new paddle, He did start of fairly lightly, but increased the sting with each set. Master then announced that it is time for maintenance, i reply that i thought that is what He had been up to....but He tucks me in, and reminds me that maintenance is a hard spanking to remind me that i do not want a harder one.

   When He is done, He tells me to get up and walk to the sliding glass door. I hesitate, He tells me to walk....i do, slowly...and tells me to face the outside (it is a back yard surrounded mostly by bushes). but this is something new.  He tells me to squish my breast against the glass, put my hands behind me and stay still. He then  asks me if i remember the text He went me about the ocean and my boob.  Ut oh,,,I do.  Master will often send me a quick task when I am away, sometimes it is to send Him a picture, or collect a shell on the beach or...this time I got a text saying to flash a boob to the ocean. I sent Him a....You are funny! LOL...reply, and heard nothing. I had forgotten the whole thing til I was against that glass. He reminded me that the reply He always wants is...Yes Sir. He knows He is pushing me into a new place, and He will continue to push.....do I understand...I do.

     Then i get to show Master how much i missed Him...His taste and musky scent...I am licking and sucking and groaning...and getting so wet!

      Then Master concentrates on me....I would attempt to describe my reaction, but it is a big blur....a magnificent welcome home...the kind where i wonder who that girl was, and how does He do that to me....it was....over whelming to say the least.

     This man that i call Master, has helped me to see a me what i never thought possible, a me that i had buried deep, and protected with heavy walls that were supposed to be permanent.  IT did not happen overnight, or even over a couple of years....but He never gave up, He made me believe, He helped me to trust......He led me to finally finding and accepting me...

hugs abby