Sunday, December 23, 2012

Sadness ...and joy

   Sadness was the day I was supposed to be traveling to my son's house, where my daughter and her family would join us, and we would celebrate Christmas together, then travel to celebrate again,  with my mom, my siblings and their families. My plans changed on Friday; in an early morning phone call i learned that my nephew's 25 year old wife had died during the night. They live where i do. We had been expecting a call that her dad had died, so at first i was confused, but no it was not the dad, but the daughter...most likely a seizure. They  had just closed on a house the day before.  Yesterday, her dad died. There is comfort in the thought that they are together. Later this week, I will be going to a father/daughter funeral. 

  Joy...Last Friday when i returned home after a long emotionally and physically exhausting day, i sat to call my daughter and son. We had been in contact during the day, but they wanted me to call when i got home, and i did need to hear their voices. My daughter first, i tell her that obviously our plans for the holiday have been canceled...she tells they have changed. She and her hubby decided to bring some Christmas joy to 'grandma'...they will be here coming here. I then called my son, and He told me he and his wife had been working on changing their work schedules, they will be leaving for a long drive on Wednesday, to bring Christmas to 'grandma'. I asked if he had spoken to his sister..he had not yet, was going to call her after he talked to me.  
I told him looks like we will be all be together and this lucky 'grandma' will have 4 beautiful little faces with her to remind me of the joy, love, and hope of this holiday..

I won't be around for the next week,
but i wish all of you that same joy, love and hope.
hugs abby

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

It was called maintenance, but......

    I love Christmas, but if we could just find some way to get there without all the stress and busyness..and I am speaking for all of us!

     Our usual M/M day was moved to Tuesday...I have 3 family birthdays in December, Master has 1....there was just no time on Monday. Tuesday, Master was determined to squeeze it in me...well...not so much.  So, I asked if maybe we could just chat, talk, instead of spanking. Surprisingly, He agreed. I felt relieved and we talked..not about anything big, just sharing.

     As we are chatting He reaches in to try to get to my breast. I say try because I had a bra, a tee shirt and a sweat shirt...I hate being cold! He chuckled as He started to peal the layers away. As we continued to chat he was having His way with my breast, reminding me...they are His, not mine, and He gets to 'enjoy' them whenever He wishes.

     When He has had enough, He starts to move downward and meets up with my jeans. I am told to unbuckle and unzip, He reaches in and soon the chatter is becoming sporadic, and it is becoming hard to concentrate on mere words.  I am reminded that I don't have a permission...i am sooo close... being observant, He tells me to cum for Him... and I, being obedient do, twice, just for good measure.  When we are leaving He tells me not to make Him regret that He did not heat up my bottom.  I laugh. 

    Problem is I woke up this morning feeling like something was missing. A tender bottom, a determination that I did not want a harder spanking than maintenance, a lack of being spanked.
i have been 'antsy' all day....i have such mixed feelings about this neediness....but it is there. 
i have not told Master, but I don't think i will suggest a chat instead of a spanking least for a while.

While we were chatting, Master told me to amend my rules list...I left out 2 rules..

~i am to be clean shaven for Him...which means always.  This rule came about on the first day that we 'officially' started our M/s journey. On that day He shaved me, i was soooo...nervous and kept my eyes closed. Now i remember it fondly, and think it would be nice to re-enact it.

~not more 'granny' panties. The rule at first was none when we were together. I had started to occasionally wear lacy, more sexier ones, and He liked it and wanted me to continue...not too mention many of my granny ones were also too big!  Then a couple months ago He 'suggested' that i start to replace the granny ones, and work my way towards having them all replaced, which I have been doing. ( I bought a special pair, for the end of this week;)

The cuffs are also being used more. Master has now given me both the ankle and wrist set, and I am to wear them both to bed. (This started about a week ago). One night He had me clip the wrist ones together, for as long as I could sleep, once they woke me up i could un-clip them. I actually made it most of the night.  Last night, i was told to clip the ankle ones together..I was more nervous about that, i move a lot at night, but there was just enough give that i could get comfortable. They did wake me a couple times, but i was able to get back to sleep. 

Hope you all remember to breathe this week, enjoy the shining lights and the smiles on the faces of the little ones, and remember, it is about memories and love...

hugs abby

Monday, December 17, 2012

On His 'naughty' list

     I started this post last Friday afternoon, turned on the television and typed in the title and....the world stopped. Like most everyone I spent a lot of this weekend with tears in my eyes and praying for all involved...the ones who lost a part of their family, the little ones who saw and heard things no one should be witness to, the the first responders, for all of us.  May the true spirit of Christmas shine on everyone.

    Not Santa's naughty list....hmmm maybe that one too., but Master's! My youngest daughter's birthday was on Saturday, we had plans to celebrate, but then needed to change  those plans to Friday. I emailed Master on Wednesday, and left a voice message Thursday noontime. Not explaining everything, just saying I needed to talk to Him about something. Master is usually very good at responding to such a I waited, and the longer I waited the louder that devilish voice in head became....He's too busy for you...etc.etc.etc.

    Thursday night, I did not text a good night message...early Friday morning I get a text from Master, what had happened, why no good night? He was not pleased, I was told to spend the day in my room thinking about how He would punish me. When I finally explained about my daughter's birthday, He relented, but said we would get together first, and 'settle up'.

   Of course, Master wanted an explanation, why had i not text or called Him again? ( we have had this conversation before). I hate to be a pest to keep bothering Him when I know how busy He is....Master took a deep breath and repeated, I am not a pest, I am His submissive, He wants to hear from me, He wants to be there for me, He expects me to stay in contact with Him. I know all of this, and we both agree i am getting better at disregarding that evil voice that tells me otherwise. He then asked, why no good night, i said figured it was a small thing and.....He added...might go unnoticed?? He reminded me I had just posted a list of my rules, and that was on the list, was it not? I had to admit, it was.

     Master had me bend over the ottoman, He had chosen one of His heavy paddles, and said since there was a birthday celebration after this , i would get my daughter's birthday spanking. Luckily she is my youngest...turned Master declared 34, one to grow on. They were hard, but not the hardest, and Master did put is hand on my back to help me stay in place after the first few. The last 4 were much harder, but I knew He was being generous. 

      I was still over the ottoman, waiting for permission to get up, when Master says....where do I want you now?  I was trying to figure out what He wanted, when He repeated the question, and as i looked at Him , I quickly got to my knees, between His legs.

      Most always after a punishment, there is no fun play time, and certainly no permissions for me. Master must have been in the Christmas spirit, when I got up, He invited me over His lap.  He started to use His hand on my 'delightfully red bottom', and soon had me purring and panting.  I even did get permissions!  

      My daughter's birthday lunch had me both squirming and smiling...and determined to stay off that naughty list!

  hugs abby

Thursday, December 13, 2012

10 years ago today.....

.......I met the man i now call Master! Oh...the words Master or submissive never entered the conversation, that would have made for a very short meeting. But i knew from the beginning, He was a gentleman, we had similar backgrounds, and the word spanking did enter the conversation! We had been talking about our common 'interest' before that first meeting.

.....In my mind i imagined that i might get to finally find out what it is like to be spanked....and that would be it...really! Sometimes being wrong is sooooooooooo good!

     So in 10 years i have learned a few things about my Master...

      He is a man of His word, and can be trusted...always
      He does not run when we meet a 'bump' in the road, or the going gets a little rough

      He has a wonderful 'kinky' imagination

      He has a hard hand....and a soft heart

      He can use His hands is many ways

      He wants what is best for me

      He is always willing to listen

      He is there..or here....whenever i need Him

      He can make me laugh even when i truly doubt that is possible

      He has taken me on the most wonderful, unexpected journey, fulfilling my fantasies..and 
      even some fantasies i did not know i had!

     That is 10 one for each year...i don't what Him to get a swelled head...LOL!

      Thank You Master!!!!

     hugs abby

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My rules to live by.....

     I believe that all things in life have an ebb and flow....Master and I seem to be in a flow zone at the moment. He is thinking of new ways to support my submission. When we were chatting yesterday and the topic of rules came up. He decided He wanted me to make a list of my rules are a strange thing....for me...rules start out as new tasks i have to remember and then end up just being part of my routine. I decided to post the rules....and to add my comments to them.

    Also remember it has been almost 10 years for Master and I, these rules have been added one at a time, and adjusted as necessary. Here's hoping I don't forget too many!  Except for the first couple these are not in chronological order....I am not that organized.

     ~ email Master a daily report....this started out as a food diary, before we were M/s, to help me lose weight. It listed what I ate each day and how long I had exercised. It has changed over the years, at times I have had to add a calorie count. I still send includes a task of my choosing that I do for Master each day. Also anything else we might not have had to chance to talk about during the day. 

   ~no cumming without permission. This was my first rule, when we started with D/s. I may play all i want, just not cum.  I did cross that line a few times early on....but have not in a long time. 

   ~ no sarcasm, in person or in writing....i have carried the title of 'queen of sarcasm' in quiet a few circles. Master considered it disrespectful   and not amusing.  Respect is big for me...He has earned it and deserves it, so I worked hard on this one.

  ~Text a good morning message every morning. Most mornings i do this while still in bed, it includes any plans I have for the day.

  ~Text a good nite message. At first i got into the habit of sending it at 10 every nite, except when i occasionally went to bed earlier. Master asked if i really went to bed at the stoke of 10 every nite, I admitted it made it easy to remember to send the message. I now send it just as I climb into bed. Recently i have been told to add if i am wearing cuffs.

~Send in a weigh-in report every Friday. For a long time I had to send one Monday and Friday. Since i reached my last goal Master has finally agreed to a once a week weigh in . I am allowed 2 pounds above my goal weight, before there is trouble!

 ~A lunch time reminder at noon every day. This is fairly recent, and started when Master was assigned a new large project at work with a short deadline. I actually had a problem with this at first...left like i was telling Him to go to lunch. I am doing what He asks...most days it is a call, sometimes a text....most days i remember

 ~I need permission to make plans  for going anyplace. This actually sounds a lot more restrictive that it is.  At first I just had to ask for permission every day when I was in town. I used to ask for anything i might do....and Master then added, if I ask and receive permission and don't go, I have to let Him know...( i was not pleased with this one.) Also a permission is only good for one day....yes, sometimes i do use a perceived loop hole.  I rarely get a no, and have a 10 minute rule..after 10 minutes i have a yes. Emergencies are of course exempt. About a year ago, Master added, that I have to ask permission before i make definite plans to be away. He wanted me to think about how long i would be gone, and if i should try to adjust. I did get punished for this one soon after it became a rule. Again, He does not veto family trips...we both value family time. Just recently Master has added a 'tax' to any long trips i plan. The first week is tax free.....5 swats with the paddle for every day up to 2 weeks, 10 swats per day, for the third week. This went into effect after my most recent 3 week trip. I have made Holiday plans...I will be gone 1 week! 

 ~ Earlier this year when I was about to leave for some time with the grands, Master put an R (for His first initial), on my thigh with a marker. I was to keep it up every morning. When I returned, Master decided that i should continue. I did get punished for not keeping it up is a really bad idea to have Master punish twice for the same infraction....and am still 'tatooing' the 'R' every morning.

  ~My most recent rule is wearing wrist cuffs to bed at night. (When i am away if i am not sharing a room with a grand-child) . I love those cuffs, so Master gave them to me, when I left for a recent 3 week time away....the smell, waking up and having them was/is all good.  When I returned Master decided to continue the  practice at home....:).  He is in the process of adjusting, this past weekend, He had me clip them together one night, and last night He told me to put one on a wrist and one on an ankle. 

I think that covers it, if i have left anything out, i am sure i will be letting you know!

Monday, December 10, 2012

It's Monday so.......

    It's maintenance day.  Master is still on a quest to get my tolerance level back  up, so it was OTK with the hairbrush.  Just as I was starting to squirm, Master announces He is still in warm up mode.....not what I wanted to hear..I was thinking He should be about  done. I did manage to settle in go with the pain for a while, then I started to squirm and ouch loudly, a signal that I am wanting it to end. Master thinks that wanting a spanking to end, is when it really begins!

     I got into a bit of trouble last week. Some of you will identify with this....Master and I are in touch several times a day. Last Wednesday, a friend and I had a girl's casino day..all day.
I was in touch with Master in the morning and at lunch. When I got back in the evening, I thought I  need to let Master know I am  home, but got involved in other things. I did send Him a good night text, but it was early, as I had not slept well the night before and was tired. The next morning, I sent my morning text and did not get a reply...which rarely happens. I called at lunch..well after lunch, I lost track of the time, left a voice message and did not get a reply. By evening I was wondering, is He sick, in the hospital, did something happen to a family member...When I start to let myself go to that place where all things bad are possible, I also retreat within myself. I did not send a good night message that night, and did not hear from Master.

    I woke early the next morning, and read the obits...nope He was not listed. I sent an early the obits, You were not listed.  He replied nope...and wondered how my casino day went....a hint that He was still waiting for that report. When I saw Him that day, He let me know that getting a text that He was not in the obits was not the best way to start His day. I replied that  of all the texts I had thought of, that was the nicest.....and most respectful. He was not impressed, and my bottom paid the price. Why do we go there??

     For a little while now, I have been sleeping with Master's cuffs at night. They are nice and comfy. leather....yummy smell...lined with a lamb's skin type of material. They are also nice and warm during these cold nights. He had me bring them on one of my longer times away.....and decided I should just keep wearing them every night once I returned.  Last night I was told to clip them together when I went to bed, and keep them on until they woke me...not necessarily all night.  It did take me a while to get comfy and fall asleep. I woke up around 1 AM....a little confused, but soon realized it was the cuffs. I had no problem falling asleep again. Woke up again a couple hours later, and this time I unclipped the cuffs and then went back to sleep. Master wants to slowly work to where I have them clipped all night. Tonight I was told to wear one on my right wrist and one on my right ankle.....He is moving into new territory...and I am glad to go along with Him!

   Master wants me to write out a list of my rules....if I am going to write a list, I figure it might as well be a blog i will be back tomorrow..

hugs abby


Sunday, December 9, 2012

Which are you....LOUD or quiet??

   When I was reading at Aisha's   this morning,  she was writing how she is a loud, moving, whiny spankee. I had to laugh, since Master and I were just discussing this...while he was applying the brush to my bottom....solely for His pleasure.

     He is trying to build my tolerance, since being away for 3 weeks, is a lot like starting over, as far as my bottom is concerned.  After the first 2 rounds, I was kicking my legs, and trying to jiggle away. He pulled me back in, and asked why I was being so quiet...I almost always am. He said it was okay to be loud and say ouch and and let Him know that He was being effective.  Round three was even longer and harder, and yes..I finally did start to be much more vocal and loud. He chuckled, and least now I know I am making an impression...and HE was leaving a red hot bottom. 

       It did not take me long after meeting Master to let it all out...and be VERY  LOUD when He is allowing me to cum....I learned early on, there was no way I could hold that in....and  often wondered if all the noise was really coming from me? It was, and I have come to accept my wantonness as far as Master is concerned...and He seems to enjoy it :). So now I am wondering....which are you....loud or quiet when it comes to being spanked. I am also wondering...if I get louder will He stop sooner??

     We were also discussing the spanking...or little Master described it on The Bang Theory.  When I said, there are people out there who think the do not get spanked hard enough.
He stopped for a minute and asked if I was one of them. I quickly assured Him, that I am not....when Master has spanked, you know you have been spanked, I always come away feeling like I was well spanked..sometimes a little too well. Master said He would not want to disappoint me..I assured Him He was doing just fine, no need to change...unless He wanted to try softer spankings...He thought that was pretty funny...go figure.

     Today was cookie baking day...I now 8 different kinds of cookies waiting in my freezer. I like to stick to the traditional....cut-outs, spritzes, and chocolate-peanut butter roll ups, while my daughter likes to add a few new kinds to the mix. It is a fun day...but exhausting..If I get my act together earlier next year..I will join that cookie exchange...that I "stole" a few recipes from this year.

      I have been lagging in posting lately....I am blaming all of you. There is so much good stuff to read lately, I spend most of my computer time reading, and leaving a few comments! 

Have a great week...
hugs abby

Monday, December 3, 2012

Finally...back to M&M

     Last week was a long week....happily this week is starting off much better!

     I ended up taking a quick trip to see my 4 year old grand-daughter in a school Christmas show, and singing and signing a Christmas carol with the children's choir at a tree lighting.
It was worth the trip. I left around lunch time on Friday. When I saw Master on Wednesday, He had said we would meet before lunch. When I sent in my 2 pounds....His reply was OK see you after lunch. What followed was a few texts which were confusing to both of of the many downfalls of texting, in trying to keep it short, one must make assumptions. We finally did get to talk, just before I left. I was 'antsy', it had been a long time since a hard spanking...and I needed I did not express that to Master.

    I think we had both waited long enough...too long...this morning I finally was kneeling and naked with Master claiming me, massaging, rubbing, pulling, pinching...all of it...Finally I was feeling like His submissive, and I could actually feel my body soften. My 2 pound gain put me 1/2 pound above my 'wriggle room', and although Master said it was not acceptable, it was also not had been 4 weeks.

   Then, I was finally back over Master's lap. He reached into my bag, and pulled out the short strap. It is short, but it is hard to manage OTK. One side of my bottom was definitely getting the worst of it.  After 2 sets, Master asked if it left like He was spanking only did.  He reached back onto the bag and pulled out the thin frog paddle. It is a great bottom warmer, it makes lots of noise, and leaves a nice sting. I could feel myself getting damp, then wet, as Master used it slowly, quickly, alternating sides, concentrating on one side, then the other.
Master checked me again, and chuckled...He loves that He can get me almost dripping, in very short order.

    Master then said it was maintenance time....and maintenance needs to be a hard spanking, a way to keep me focused on what I need to be doing to please Him. He decided on His belt, I was told to lean over the sofa, head down, bottom way up. It was the moment I was dreading and had been a long time between hard spankings...about 1 month.  Master's belt is one of my favorite spanking 'tools'....form the  sound of it being pulled through the loops to the smell of leather, and finally the swish, and then the kiss of the leather...I did struggle at first, and for a bit, before I could settle somewhat, I am not sure how many Master gave me, but my bottom was hot and very stinging....and lots of other parts of me were very hot! Master then asked me what I thought 1/2 pound over my limit had earned me. He waited, as I quickly had the debate in my head...what is enough, what is the least I can get away with??? I finally said, 10 more, Master said 10 more on each, just 10 (a girl has to try!). He said He could change His target to my thighs, so I quickly decided that 10 on each cheek sounded fair. After 10 slightly harder ones on each side, and Master was telling me to kneel between His legs.

    It had been a long time since I had been offered Master's cock....I started off slowly, but soon it all came back to me...LOL. Master then had me kneel away from Him , head to the floor presenting my pussy to Him, and I was filled, and pushing back, til I was told to be still til He told me I could move. I tried, but soon I just had to push back and beg for permission, and then I knew I was there.....a strong, down in my gut, loud, orgasm....followed by another couple.  Finally everything that I had been needing, craving. 

    hugs abby

ps...I would like to add my email address to the blog, have looked for a location, cannot find one. Help??  Thanks!