When Master and I were chatting and snuggling yesterday, He says, I have a question for your blog. He rarely makes any suggestions for my blog, so I was all ears. "What would you (submissives in general) not do for your Masters?
My initial reply was, that covers a lot of ground...from taking His shoes off when He needs to relax, to helping Him commit a crime. Really, not quite what He was thinking of...I have no desire for a criminal record.
Limits is what He was interested in...that one little word covers a lot of territory. Here's my 2 cents..or more...
I believe everyone has limits, I have come to believe that they are fluid in nature. For me, limits are closely tied to trust, just as I feel that trust happens in layers over time, so does the ability to test limits...the more you trust, the more you are willing to push yourself, to go beyond what you once thought you could.
There are lots of ways for limits to come into play. One of them is a safe word. I am a big proponent of safe words...I have had one since the first time Master spanked me...over clothing and with His hand. In over 10 years I have never used it...yes I did come close a few times, during some pretty harsh punishments years ago, but Master always seemed to sense when I had truly reached my limit. I am positive that if I ever said the word, He would honor it. There have been times when I cramped up or felt some tinglings of fingers or hands, and to be honest, I simply said...I have a cramp. We stopped, massaged and when I was ready went on.
For some, limits are expressed in a contract or a check list of what I like, I might try, and hard limits. To be honest if Master had presented me with either of those when we were first starting, I would have panicked. I think a contract could be a good thing, as a starting point for discussions, but I also think, for me, it would have to be renegotiated regularly. The list, it would have had mostly hard limits checked off, I was simply looking to be spanked, so I could get it out of my system, out of my fantasies. (Yes , I did believe once would do it!)
Many of the things that at one time I considered hard limits, we have done, and some I have wanted to keep trying;). Yes, I still have some hard limits, but I do feel that they are in line with Master's. When I feel apprehensive or uncertain, I always have to option of saying...let's talk about this. When Master suggested a piercing, a few years ago, He had me research and look at articles and pictures and we talked about it a lot. It never happened, but not because it continued to be a hard limit for me.
Having written all the above , I also have to add....About 2 years ago, we were discussing something new...and I can't recall exactly what it was....but I was hesitant. As I though about it, I realized that if it was something Master really wanted to try;, I would try it, pleasing Him had moved way up on my list of priorities. I trust Him totally, He is not going to harm me, although it might hurt..lol...It took me by surprise to think that I had reached a point where I could be so open to Him, to His wants, needs.....and scared me a bit. But it is a good feeling, to know I can trust so completely without fear, I can be open with myself and know that there is someone who knows me, accepts me, and takes care of me. Thank You Master!