Wednesday, October 31, 2012

BOO!!

  I could not think of a title, so I decided boo was appropriate for today. I really wish someone, who is way more creative than I am, would publish a book, or at least a list, of blog titles!

  Happy Halloween...I am pretty sure I am going to have left over candy...any ideas on what to do with it, besides eating it , of course!

   I finally heard from my daughter, no phone or internet, loss power for a bit, but everyone is doing OK:) phew!  Hope all of you along the East coast are finding ways to cope ! My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you.

  Yesterday was maintenance day. I got an early message from Master...see you at 11....no asking if I was up to it or if that was good for me. It immediately started to chase the 'blahs' that I had on Monday away.

    After some  hugging and talk  about 'Sandy', Master asked what the problem was on Monday...why the sour mood? He was not all that happy that I kept it to myself, and caused it myself....

     I was soon kneeling and He was re-claiming and reminding me of who I am, and who I belong to. He was pulling and pinching my breasts, watching me breathe through the pain.
Finally He stopped and invited me over His lap. He started out with His hand, deliberate spanks, increasing in intensity. He 'checks' to see how I am responding...and then continues the warm-up with the wooden hair brush. Warm-up is what He calls it, feels much more like a 'heat-up' to me.

      He checks again, and of course I am getting wetter....sometimes I wish I could control that, just to see His reaction.  He then asks what He had promised me for today. I know what He wants to hear, but I hesitate. He asks again,,,I say maintenance...not the answer He is waiting for. He starts to tap the brush and asks again, I know better than to make Him ask a third time....a long, hard spanking, Sir. That is the answer He is looking for and He is off...fast and hard. He stops and tells me I have permission to 'cum', if I can. He then makes sure that I am close enough that I want to......He tells me to keep my legs open and apart. The brush starts to fly again...it takes me a couple rounds, but I can feel myself getting closer, lifting my bottom asking for more....and it happens, my body takes over, I am taking off, and land in a spent, happy place. 

     Master stops to rub and talk and tell me what a good girl I am. Then I hear....now I am going to spank you for the mood you created yesterday, and for not opening up to me....this time you may not cum. He is spanking hard and fast again, and does not stop .....and  I am no longer in that 'zone'. He finally stops and asks if He has made His point...He has!

    He then directs me between His legs, to express my submissiveness, share some cuddling and hugging, and be at peace. 

    My bottom was tingling all nite, but my sour mood was gone, Master knows me so well.

    hugs
    abby

Monday, October 29, 2012

More submissive questions

    It is blowing and raining outside...the wind gusts have really picked up and not reached their peak. But I am warm and the power is still on, so things are good. To all of you along the East coast who are in worse shape, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    I made a last minute, quickly decided trip to see my 4 year old grand daughter over the weekend. She was planning her own Halloween party and had called to invite me, I initially said I could not go, but then decided to surprise her. She was so excited to see me, and we had lots of fun, bobbing for apples, and turning each other into 'mummies', among other activities. It was worth the drive there!

   Today was supposed to be M/M day, but I felt out of it for most of the day, physically and emotionally. Maybe I am just over tired. No M/M, not sure when we will get to it...not even sure how I feel about that.

    25.  Are there items or rituals that represent or help you express your submission.

            Yes, and this seems like a repeat question to me. Guess my mood still is not the best...LOL.  Kneeling and doing a daily task for Master are 2 'rituals" that stand out.  He is always looking for ways to keep me focused and focused.


26.  What are the qualities you  seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal breakers?

      I really had no idea I was looking for a dominant partner when I met Master. I got very lucky.
I feel that a dominant should be comfortable with His role and sure of himself, not a lot of second guessing and wavering. He should also be willing to listen , not always necessarily agree, but really listen, and be open to some discussion. Consistency ranks high, other wise it all tends to get confusing. Dominant's hold their submissive's well being in their hands...it is a big responsibility.


Stay safe everyone!
hugs abby

Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Correction...and an interesting conversation...

   First thing Master tells me this morning....did I know I had fibbed?  My mind is racing....seems I answered no to the meme when I should have said yes.  I have had sex outside...recently, and more than once...not sure what got into me.  I am going to re-check the other answers when I am done here.  One more yes...Yeah for me! (sex on a rooftop??  all I can think of is...would have to be Santa!)

   My shopping this morning was highly successful. I have been looking for matching PJ's for the grands...its a family tradition. The sizes are getting quite varied...from 5 to 9 months and I was not having much luck.  I walked by a store I only sometimes shop in, and saw the sign....everything in store on sale...how could I not go in. To my surprise..I found footed sleepers in all the same Christmas design, in the correct sizes!!!  At the check-out, when I was asked if I had found everything, I said yes, and explained. She said, she had been in another store, and saw some for us..adults. I said, I would be way tooo hot!  She agreed, but then asked if I remembered the ones from 'out time' that had the drop seat in the back. I did and said maybe for a fun adult PJ party...her reply..perfect would make it more fun and interesting.  Wonder is she was thinking the same thing I was as I walked out???

  Today is gorgeous...75 and sunny..and I am going out for a long walk....

  hugs abby

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

M/M..maintenance and a 'meme'

     Today was maintenance day. Maintenance is pretty much like a ritual, or as close as we get.
We start with me kneeling, naked, Master touching, claiming every part of me, while we usually end up chatting quietly.

     Over His lap, for a hand warm-up. Then a warm up with the  hair brush...Master's version of a warm up, anyway.  Then a round of much  harder smacks, not sure how many, maybe 50.
Master stops for a little rubbing and some chatting, asking me why we have maintenance, and why does He spank me so I will feel it for a while. Then Master asks me to ask Him for a final round of really hard ones, ones that I will really remember. I hesitate......He says, it is hard to ask isn't it? I nod.....after a minute, Master says it should be easy. "Easy?" I ask...will it requires trust that I will not give you more than you can take. UGH...I do trust, but our versions of what I can...or maybe want....to take are not always in agreement. He doesn't wait, and starts a second round, stops to announce last 10...hard ones...and finally maintenance is over. Master had checked how 'wet' I was after His warm-up, and then again when we were done, His chuckle told me..and I know...that my 'moistness' had increased.  After a couple permissions, I was getting dressed and asked for permission to shop the mall tomorrow. Master gave it, but also said He would be checking my credit card balance before Christmas, so I should be careful. I said, before???, you could wait til after...His grin told me, it will be before.

    If you have done any blog hopping today , you already know this 'meme' is making the rounds. You have to answer simply yes or no, with no explanations..


Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? No
Been in a fist fight? No
Slept with your best friend? No
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? No
Slept with a member of the same sex? No
Seen someone die? Yes
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? No
Worn your partners unmentionables? No
Fallen asleep at work? Yes
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been fired? No
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? No
Loved someone you shouldn't? Yes
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Yes
Caught someone having sex? Yes
Kissed a perfect stranger? Yes
Shaved your partner? No 
Given your private parts a nickname? Yes
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken? No
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes
Do you sleep naked? No
Blacked out from drinking? No
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? No
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? No
Shot a gun? No
Gone outside naked? No

Hmm can't get rid of the red no.....tried.


hugs abby


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

thank you Bonnie!

Thank You Bonnie!

I don't know how she does it, but she keeps her blog list updated...what a list it is! She manages to make everyone feel welcome and.....'normal'! She is a wonderful asset to our community and I am so  happy that we appreciate what a friend she is! Enjoy your special day...calls for a special spanking?!
hugs abby

Monday, October 22, 2012

My morning text...

    ..I have felt myself over the last couple days withdrawing, going within myself, trying to stop myself, knowing that I can not do it alone.   My morning text to Master was ..I need to feel your control and dominance...I don't think I have ever sent a text like that. I used to send middle of the night emails, but was never quite so honest in what I was trying to say. Master's response was simply...Oh Yes!

    I picked a very busy day for both of us, but we carved out time just before lunch. I actually stayed fully dressed, but that did not stop Master from having at least one hand touching my breast, and then playing with my pussy...the whole time.  He did most of the talking, telling me that no matter what I am..or am not wearing...where I am...I am His....in short...ALWAYS!  He said wearing wet panties all day should be a good reminder. 

   I brought up the tax reform post and your comments. He said to let you all know His view..
  
  1. He is very generous in letting me go off on my trips. He has never said no, and has never restricted my time..(except for when my dad died....I was never away for more than 2 weeks).
I agree He is generous with His permissions.

  2..  It is not good for Us, or me, when I am gone for so long. His preference would be to always have me here and available, He misses me way too much when it is a 3 week gap.

  3..He did change His original plan...He agreed to 1 week with no penalty, He reduced the second week to 50 swats, and since they will be earned in stages, depending on how many, I will get them in stages.

   4..He has left my options open, He just wants me to consider "us", before I automatically agree.

   All this time He is 'priming' my pussy, I am listening, but trying to keep breathing, and to keep myself calm enough so I don't cum without permission.  Master says, maybe keeping me 'simmering' (aisha, I though of you!), will be my maintenance for this week. I could ask for daily permissions, and He would think on it. 

   In the end, He gave me permission to cum, and of course I did. He reminded me to keep those same panties on all day....and that no, this was not maintenance for this week.  He had worked His magic, He came to my rescue, made time, said what I needed to hear. I came home at peace, knowing that being His is what calms my soul. 

   hugs abby

Sunday, October 21, 2012

"tax reform"

     Shopping was highly successful, had coupons and found lots of great sales, and am excited about what I bought! Wrapping is also done..took all afternoon, and a bit...or maybe more...of wine...but packages are wrapped and ready to be delivered..HO HO HO!

   Thanks for those of you who commented on my last post....I decided I should explain a bit more about why I feel Master instituted the new 'tax law'.  Kitty over at http://thesubmissivewife.blogspot.com/  had some questions that really speak to the matter.

    Do I come home stressed? Yes, 3 weeks is a long time to be away. I try to get all the bills paid and everything caught up, but there is always lots to catch up on when I get back.  Entertaining a 3 year old and a 6 month old for most of some days...and sometimes overnight...takes lots of energy. I miss my place, my Master, my friends here, and miss out on some activities like book club and others. I love those little ones and have lots of fun, and they are always so excited to see me. I know I am blessed that I can do this, but like I said in my first sentence, 3 weeks is a long time.

   Maybe short spurts would be better than a long one. I think that is one of the things, Master wants me to do. He would like for me to discuss it with Him before I say yes ( which I am always supposed to do....I just sometimes want to  have things set, before I bring it up to Him...He calls this stubborness). He would like me to suggest weekly visits with a break at home...or something along those lines. I have gently suggested to my son that maybe finding a sitter or helper who does have to be flown in might be a good idea!  They do have crazy schedules, but I also realize they have to work that out...with some help from me.

   Who makes the planning...my son. He has dates picked out and flights checked out...but not booked...when he asks me. He does ask, I just am not very good at saying no...or even at saying lets talk about other options. 

    I think the tax is high...as it seems most of you do. Master disagrees....it will not come into play on my next trip, but I will be traveling over Christmas...cannot miss those faces over the holidays, so we will see what happens ....

hugs abby

Saturday, October 20, 2012

some of this...some of that

        I woke up feeling at loose ends today...and the feeling just kept growing.  My voices including the 'not-so-friendly' voices keep trying to give me advice. I decided the best way to spend my day....shopping with my daughter!  We went from store to store., did find some great bargains, and as a bonus, my Christmas shopping is close to being done. I have always (mostly), had the shopping done by December, so I feel great about meeting that goal! I found just what I wanted for everyone and some things for the impossible to buy for ones! 

     I have been asking Master for a while, if I could weigh-in once a week, instead of twice. He always has been quick to say, no, this is successful we will stick with it!  Well, I guess I finally wore Him down....as of this coming week...one weigh in report a week...and I even got to choose the day of the report. I chose Friday to give Him my report, hopefully that gives me a few days if I go a little crazy on the weekend.

   I also remembered to ask Master a question suggested in my comments....What would He not have His submissive do?  I said that anything that would land me in jail did not count...He thought about it for a bit, and then decided that although certain areas held no interest for Him, in general the rule that He follows is....do no harm, He would never want to harm me....hurting me is another thing altogether:) 

   Master also told me that I under reported the number of orgasms I had in my last post. How is one supposed to actually count, when they are just rolling on top of each other.( I know a nice problem to have..lol). Really counting the number is the last thing on my mind, actually my mind is being blown away. 

    Master also brought up the topic of my paying a tax when I go away from now on. I am going again in a couple of weeks, for another 3 weeks...hopefully the last long one for a good long while. This next trip does not count, since I had cleared it with Him, before He thought of the tax idea. He decided that I get one no tax week. Week number two will cost me 50, with the wooden paddle of His choice, for each day that week. Week number three, the tax increases to 100 a day. 

     I tried to say what if....He would not let me finish. It stands no matter what the reason for my being away, He knows that I always have a good reason...usually family related..and that I always miss Him loads. He said He wants me to think before I agree to extended time, how He feels and if He is going to be without me, I will have to pay the tax.  It's nice to know I am missed, but the tax seems a little high to me...

   I plan on getting some wrapping done tomorrow....the shopping is so much more fun than the wrapping. I like to actually wrap the grandkids' gifts...it is so much more fun tearing the paper off as compared to reaching into a bag!

   Hope you are enjoying a nice fall weekend.
  hugs,,,abby

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Submission questions...continued

  I know I am way behind the pack on these questions, but I do want to finish them....

21.  Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?

      For me the one that is the most predominate is kneeling, naked, hands behind me, waiting.
It is a quiet anticipation time, focusing on opening up to Master. Of course, being over His lap, sitting naked in His lap (one of my favorites), being tied in any position, all of these put my head into that special submissive place.


22. Can you feel submissive without a dominate partner? If so, how does your submission express itself?

     Way back, when Master and I were first starting the M/s journey, there were times when I would feel that Master was losing interest, or was just too busy, and I would end up in a not so very good place...thinking and eventually letting Him....I can't be submissive to myself. So, my answer would be no, I do not feel submissive without a dominate partner. Even now, if I were to find myself without a dominate, I don't think I would be able to summons those submissive feelings.


23. Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

    As i have become older...and hopefully a little wiser...I find I have a much more of a 'whatever floats your boat' attitude.  As long as the two people involved agree, who am I to question their tastes?  Yes, there are some things that I might think,,,Yuck, but that is me, not them. 

   Before I met Master, I knew someone who referred to me as submissive. I laughed and said it showed how he did not really know me. His reply....you have not met the right person yet!  Guess he was wiser than I gave him credit for...


24.  What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission?  What feelings do they inspire?

     I guess I do not understand this question. Access submission?...it is a part of who I am, always with me, one of the many facets that make me, 'me'.  Feelings...what feelings does my submission inspire....I guess the whole gamut of feelings, depending on the situation and my frame of mind. 

have a good all
hugs
abby



     

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

what would you not do??

   When Master and I were chatting and snuggling yesterday, He says, I have a question for your blog. He rarely makes any suggestions for my blog, so I was all ears. "What would you (submissives in general) not do for your Masters?

    My initial reply was, that covers a lot of ground...from taking His shoes off when He needs to relax, to helping Him commit a crime. Really, not quite what He was thinking of...I have no desire for a criminal record.

    Limits is what He was interested in...that one little word covers a lot of territory. Here's my 2 cents..or more...

    I believe everyone has limits, I have come to believe that they are fluid in nature. For me, limits are closely tied to trust, just as I feel that trust happens in layers over time, so does the ability to test limits...the more you trust, the more you are willing to push yourself, to go beyond what you once thought you could.

    There are lots of ways for limits to come into play. One of them is a safe word. I am a big proponent of safe words...I  have had one since the first time Master spanked me...over clothing and with His hand. In over 10 years I have never used it...yes I did come close a few times, during some pretty harsh punishments  years ago, but Master always seemed to sense when I had truly reached my limit. I am positive that if I ever said the word, He would honor it. There have been times when I cramped up or felt some tinglings of fingers or hands, and to be honest, I simply said...I have a cramp. We stopped, massaged and when I was ready went on.

    For some, limits are expressed in a contract or a check list of what I like, I might try, and hard limits. To be honest if Master had presented me with either of those when we were first starting, I would have panicked. I think a contract could be a good thing, as a starting point for discussions, but I also think, for me, it would have to be renegotiated regularly. The list, it would have had mostly hard limits checked off, I was simply looking to be spanked, so I could get it out of my system, out of my fantasies. (Yes , I did believe once would do it!)

    Many of the things that at one time I considered hard limits, we have done, and some I have wanted to keep trying;).  Yes, I still have some hard limits, but I do feel that they are in line with Master's. When I feel apprehensive or uncertain, I always have to option of saying...let's talk about this. When Master suggested a piercing, a few years ago, He had me research and look at articles and pictures and we talked about it a lot. It never  happened, but not because it continued to be a hard limit for me.

      Having written all the above , I also have to add....About 2 years ago, we were discussing something new...and I can't recall exactly what it was....but I was hesitant. As I though about it, I realized that if it was something Master really wanted to try;, I would try it, pleasing Him had moved way up on my list of priorities. I trust Him totally, He is not going to harm me, although it might hurt..lol...It took me by surprise to think that I had reached a point where I could be so open to Him, to His wants, needs.....and scared me a bit. But it is a good feeling, to know I can trust so completely without fear, I can be open with myself and know that there is someone who knows me, accepts me, and takes care of me. Thank You Master!

abby

Monday, October 15, 2012

Back from one fantasy land....to another!

     Hi all...made it back, last night. Exhausted...why has flying become such a chore...but it was a great vacation. We had been planning for 9 months, and it was worth the efforts. Almost every night we returned to the house, saying to each other...what a great vacation day! The little ones were all good, the girls were soooo very excited to see the princesses! We returned with tons of pictures and great memories....that is what it is all about...right after the 'hokey pokey'!

   Master and I stayed in touch every day, several times. Some days He gave me a special task for the day...one day it was send me a pic of Mickey...another send me a naked pic of you...He likes to keep me guessing. Three weeks is a long time....too long...we both agreed. Today Master told me He is going to add a "tax" to my time away. A penalty I have to pay for each day away from Him...He suggested 100 with the wooden paddle. I started to say....You have to...He said what??? I repeated could not understand why He had not heard me...You have to....He said You are telling me what I have to do....3 weeks is really too long! OOPS!!! I did re-phrase..LOL!  This time i suggested that the penalty only start after a week or two.

     Today was our regularly scheduled M/M day....3 weeks is a long time between spankings. After lots of  hugging and chatting, I was kneeling for my Master naked and open to Him. Too quickly He asked me to get the wooden hair brush and get over His lap. What is it about having to fetch and hand the spanking toy over to Him that seems to increase the anticipation! 

     We had discussed my 'virgin' bottom, so He started with a nice hand warm-up and lots of rubbing. I was squirming almost from the beginning and had to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths and calm a bit. Then the brush came into 'play', lightly at first, til the tuck-in, which always signals, the real spanking is about to start. It hurt from the beginning, even though it certainly was not the hardest maintenance spanking ever. Then I hear...last 10...good news/bad news...only 10 more, but they will be much harder. Finally maintenance is over.

   Master is using His fingers to see if I was complaining too much. I am so ready to explode, it has been 3 weeks. I did get a few permissions while away, but Master's touch is always so much hotter and more effective than mine!  I was soon...very soon...moaning and making all kinds of noises, when Master tells me to sit up, and suck His cock. Master soon tells me to lie on my tummy and keep my lets spread open to  Him. Luckily Master is quick with His permissions, since I am cuming....one on top of the other. When i finally, stop to breathe, I hear Master say....you are making up for 3 weeks worth of orgasms. I feel like I can't move, but Master has other ideas, and we are off again, it feels so good, I want it to last, but Master's voice is soon telling me to cum for Him, I do....several more times. Finally I really cannot even move, breathing is a conscious effort, so we just relax and recover. 

   Master asked a question that He wanted me to post here.....we discussed it a bit, and I will let you all in on that tomorrow. I am still trying to catch up with all of you....but it is soooo good to be back!

   hugs abby