Monday, September 3, 2012

submission question #7

     If you are celebrating Labor Day, hope it is full of fun and laughs...and spanks....and not much labor!

~Do you accept and/or expect discipline and punishment as part of your submission? How do you feel about it?

     Yes, I have accepted that punishment is part of our D/s. Do I expect it.....I try not to, but since my halo tends to get a little tarnished at times, it does happen.

     When Master and I first started out, punishment we a big part of our dynamic. I was new to BDSM, and was testing it. Did He mean it, would He follow through....YES and YES.  I was also just learning what it really meant to be His Submissive. Eventually I realized that I wanted to obey, to follow the rules, because I wanted to please Him. Once I realized that, punishments started to decline. I also like to think I finally caught on to what submission really is, and how to be the submissive that Master wanted. 

    I have heard the question, if you enjoy spanking, how is spanking ever really a punishment?
Trust me, a punishment spanking from Master is one to avoid. What makes it that....

        My head space....I know Master is disappointed and upset, I know this is not going to be a pleasant time together, I know that Master does not want to have to spank twice for the same things, so He makes the one He is giving me, memorable.

        Where it happens..for us that is the basement. Not a nicely finished one, just a regular basement.  

         Master's tone....He sets the tone from the time I walk in...He can be standing by an open cellar door. pointing to the stairs.....His look is one of determination and "Domness". His voice, His words....

         What Master uses....often wood...heavy and big! There is a big paddle ball paddle He bought for a dollar at a garage sale,,,,I would pay someone much more if anyone is interested.
Sometimes the cane or a switch. Never leather.

          Once He is finished, and I have thanked Him (yeah) and assured Him that I have learned my lesson, there are hugs and some quiet time together....never any permission for at least 24 hours.

         Punishments are now rare....for 2 reasons. One being maintenance spankings, which Master sees as a deterrent to punishment. They are weekly and they are hard spankings, hard enough that I have no desire for anything harder. Also, and most importantly He is great at rewards.  He makes sure that a good weigh in or completing a task are rewarded with spankings that I can't get enough of. 

     How do I feel about all this....I guess it just is. We have developed expectations and rituals that work for us.

   hugs abby


  1. Hey, Abby,

    It's been fun going through your answers and getting to know you better! Sounds like you came to this about the same time of life I did ~ isn't it wonderful? The second half really is the best!



  2. That's what it's all about, finding out what works best for you.

  3. Sounds like our punishments are pretty much the same....always heavy wood or a cane and to be avoided. I think getting the fun spankings in is very important, I noticed pretty early on that I avoid being punished if I am getting enough fun spankings.

  4. aisha, thanks for dropping in. Yes, the second half is the best! We are lucky to have found that in our lives. hugs abby true, it is a personal journey for each of us.

    dancing...I agree, maintenance does help keep the punishment spankings much rarer...abby