Friday, August 31, 2012

An Afternoon task,,,and question 4

    When I called Master at lunch time yesterday, He had just left the dentist's office. He had been up most of the night with a throbbing tooth, needed a root canal, and was on the way to get some pain meds. After I sympathized, I said I was a little out of sorts and thought that some time with one of my toys might help.

   I was expecting a "good idea sweetie". What I heard was....you should be naked, toy (small one is OK) in your bottom, cuffs on, and text me when you are ready to cum for permission. Guess even a tooth ache does not dampen the Dominant.  I did as i was told, sent the text, received permission, and then another text telling me to take a nap. I followed all orders...it was a pretty nice way to spend the afternoon:)


Question 3
~Do you switch to a Dominant role at any time?
     Only in my 'vanilla' life.

~Are you a switch in BDSM terms?
     No, I have occasionally been tempted to give Master's bottom a whack from one of the paddles, but so far have resisted. I feel I have the better end of this deal, and cannot imagine switching roles.

~Have you ever given thought to why it's not for you?
     Being a submissive is a part of who I am. It has opened me up to new experiences and feelings, I have found "me"!

My weigh in report was minus 1/2 pound....Master did not comment, but I am meeting Him after lunch. I was pleased, have not been able to get back to the exercise thing. It is a loss, I will be reminding Him!

hugs abby
     

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Submissive question #3

   It is almost TGIF..hang in there all!

   How do you know you are submissive?

       Well, for a very long time I did not know...in fact up until Master, I would have laughed as I denied it.  I grew up in the 60's...woman's lib was in full force. I am the oldest in my family, so I was the 'leader'. I was the first of very many cousins to leave our small hometown and go to college. I was determined to be an in charge, be the one in control, the have it all woman.

       And, for the most part I succeeded. I became know as the 'go-to' person to get things done.  
Teaching, being a mom, a friend, a volunteer, I was usually one of the 'in charge' leaders. I had succeeded....but every now and then I would wonder,,,,why do I not feel more satisfied?  I had been having fantasies about being spanked, would always feel like ...where is that coming from...and try to forget it.

       Then one day I typed spanking into my computer. Ahh..I was not alone. But I did not immediately associate spanking with submission. I was talking to a few others on-line and one day, one of them asked me if I had ever thought about submission. I laughed and said ...oh if you only really knew me , you would know better. He replied, when you are ready, and when you meet the right person, let me know. I laughed it off.....then I met Master.

     At first, I did not even associate spanking with submission, but slowly Master (who at the time was more like my Top) helped me to look inside myself, to break down walls, to realize that indeed, I was locking up an important part of myself. I came to appreciate the times when I did not have to be the 'in charge' person, when I could let someone else lead me. I learned that much of my missing sexuality was right there.....in my submissiveness.  I started to let go and could feel myself breathing easier, feeling like I had found "me". 

    Still today, if you asked 100 people who know me....submissive or dominant...at least 99 would say positively dominant!  I am still me....but a more complete me.


   How do you feel when you express your submission?

    Not sure I can fully explain this one. I feel at peace, like I have become whole. Serving Master 
brings me joy and fulfillment. I have discovered a sexuality I never thought I had, I know what it is like to trust so totally and openly, that I can let those darn very heavy and strong walls, that I built in me along the way the crumble, and not panic...at least some of the time.
    
    As Master is fond of telling me....we have each found the other halves of our coins....we are whole. 

hugs abby

   

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Was it worth it?? ( another Master chosen title)

     Master called me at lunch time, as we were chatting He mentioned He was not headed back to work....I asked if He wanted company....He did request my presence!:)

     I know , at least some of you there, might not believe it, but I am not always the most eager submissive...maybe at least 1 of you??  It's been 3 weeks since I have seen Master, and that is a long time for me to stay focused and calm. I did do pretty well, but sometimes I have what Master refers to as "my pout". As you can tell by the word, it is usually when I am not at my best.

    Master and I had plans for  yesterday, but His work project intervened. Master sent me a text, about 15 minutes before I was going to meet Him, that He had to go to a meeting, and would let me know if it ended at a reasonable time. Now, I know about these meetings, so I sent back a text, saying lets just wait for another day.

Master.....like tomorrow?
Me.....maybe
Master....Yes Sir
Me...waited a couple minutes so He would read my reply at the meeting....Yes Sir....may.....( I was told I could only use that word once in this post)

     This afternoon we start with long hugs, and some catching up. Then I am naked and kneeling.  Master says He is pleased with my 1 pound loss, but I still have 2 pounds to go to my next goal, and then I can have a break....He will start me working on something else. Hmmmm....not sure if that is good news or bad news. Also during the part of my vacation I spent in Maine, I did not keep up with my nightly reports, or lunch calls, or a few other things. As He is pinching and pulling my nipples, He is getting me to agree that as of today everything is back to normal. 

      I am then invited over His knee, when He starts with a wonderful long hand spanking. His hand is the best feeling, but it is also hard, and on a bottom that has not been spanked for 3 weeks, I was starting to squirm. Soon Master is reaching into His bag, and I hear the word..lexan paddle. UGH..I remind Him of my softened bottom. He chuckles and starts in with the paddle. It really stings right from the beginning.  Master then starts a conversation, while paddling me....why does He think that is a good idea? He speeds up the paddling and finally stops to ask me if He has made His point...
  
   I start to giggle and and after hemming and hawing I tell him I am so tempted by a certain answer. He knows it is....that word...the word I use when I am not quite ready to say Yes Sir! I am feeling a little feisty, and Master is telling me...feeling like pushing my buttons?  I say I rarely do that....He does not totally agree, but tells me go ahead....all my blogging friends would love to read about the results. So I say it....may... and Master immediately lays into my with that darn paddle, hard and fast.....stops and asks if it was worth it....I start to say...may...but chicken out, and say No Sir. My bottom was hot! I am then informed that I may no longer use my favorite word, with the exception of once in my blog tonight. (what a meanie..right??)

   Master then tells me it is maintenance time. I am not happy, I remind Him I just got paddled.  Maintenance happens every week, and just because we missed Monday , does not mean it does not happen this week.  He switches to a heavy wood paddle, tucks me in, and I am squirming an ouching from the beginning. It seems to go on way too long. He finally stops and says count the last 10....I whine about having to count...He starts spanking and says the final 10 will start when I start to count!  I start to count, He slows down and makes each spank harder. We get to nine, and my bottom is burning, He waits, I tense, He waits, I relax and here it comes.....a little love tap! I very quickly say, 10 and thank Him!

  Master lightly rubs and admires His handy work...commenting on what a lovely shade my bottom is, and how warm it is. He is very proud of  himself!  We then move on to more pleasurable activities....I am almost instantly ready to explode, Master prolongs my...misery? wanting? pleasure?..until I have one of those embarrassingly loud and long Orgasms. 

    It takes me a while to breathe again, and be able to move. I am positioned between Master's legs, as we quietly chat and just enjoy each other.   I am really back home...back where I belong.

     hugs abby




     

Monday, August 27, 2012

back, tired, and needing a.........

   I will let you fill in the ....s in my title...there are a couple possibilities!

   My time away was wonderful...but I am one tired grandma...and since for the last 10 days, we were all together in Maine...including my mom and siblings, there was practically no "me" time. The weather cooperated and we spent lots of time at the beach, and at a water park, had almost my full of fresh seafood, and lots of cuddles and fun time with the little ones.  But, I was more than ready to return. The drive back, supposed to be about 6 hours took about 3 hours more...UGH!

    Master and I have talked, but I have not had my official welcome home....we have had plans, but vanilla life is not cooperating. Maybe tomorrow.

   As you might remember, Master gave me a goal of losing 3 pounds while I was away. I have always found Master to be fair, and....usually....understanding. I lost 1 pound, and He was very happy. He knew that my family is big on ice cream outings, and special breakfasts, so He really wanted me to be aware and not come back having gained 2/3 pounds. So , I am not in trouble, and really looking forward our 'reunion'. I do have to admit, I am a little hesitant, it has been 3 weeks, and my bottom is not used to going that long!

  I have started to try and catch up on all of you, I am hoping to read your last couple posts, in between unpacking and getting caught up on bill paying, emails, laundry, getting food in the house....you know all that really fun stuff.

   I did see where a couple of you are answering submission questions from fet life. I stay away from fet life, I log in way too much computer time without it, and the drama is something I do not need. But I am going to try and answer the questions to get me back into the posting mode.
I am behind by about 3 days, so I will try to catch up, but if not , I will just plug away at it.  If you want me to add some information to any of these...feel free to ask!

   Question 1.....Does your submission have a label?   

    That word label, usually gets me started on a rant! Labels usually cause confusion, they also cause hard feelings....and on person's submissive label, is another person's slave label, etc...
(short rant!)

     I am Master's submissive.....because that is what He wants me to be. At times, He calls me 'pet' or sweetie. I am comfortable with submissive, I think it fits me, at least for now. 

Question 2...  (3 parts) Describe who you would submit to...

  Well the only person I have ever submitted to is Master. He introduced me to spanking, and at first I did meet a few other tops, but being with Master just felt so right, no one else really had a chance.  We started out as spanking partners and progressed to M/submissive, a journey that is still bringing me to places I never imagined visiting.

     Are you "officially" submissive only in the bedroom, in daily life, or where?  

     My submission has grown over time, and has reached most parts of my life. Master has been amazingly able to judge when to add to it, and when to let me adjust. 

   What about play partners?

   Since I have been Master's submissive, there have been no other play partners. We have never attended a play party together. I would be interested in experiencing one some day, not sure how I would feel about 'playing' with another Dominant.

Enough for tonite, my bed is loudly calling my name!

hugs abby

   

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

"cuff custody"

   As I write this Master is on His way to an out of town...heck...out of the country wedding. I am flying out on Saturday for a couple of weeks.  My mom moved to an independent/assisted facility this week, my sister helped with the packing and moving, I am taking over the unpacking and settling in. I am thinking I got the better end of the deal. I am also going to be celebrating a grand-daughter's third birthday, and a few days by the ocean with all of my kids and grandkids. 

   Master and I had 'our' time yesterday afternoon.  Much to my glee, the cuffs were ready and waiting. As soon as I was naked, kneeling, and cuffed Master started in with my breast. He was tugging and pinching harder than usual, and teasing me that with the cuffs linked together, I had no fear of moving my hands, so I might as well relax and enjoy.

   I was concentrating on breathing slowly and just going with the pain, when suddenly, I found myself over His lap. I did not see it coming and at first thought, what the heck? Master had leaned over, picked me up and deposited me on His lap. I would not have thought that possible, but never underestimate Master...as He is so fond of reminding me.

   I was over His lap, but my hands were still clipped together behind me, not all that comfortable, no pillow, and very limited mobility. Exactly what Master wanted. He starts in with one of His long hand spankings interrupted now and then with some rubbing. I kept trying to relax into it, and altho I was enjoying it, I was still not comfortable enough to completely relax. Master was not concerned about my lack of comfort.

   Master then switched to a leather paddle, hmmm, not the skin to skin of His hand, but oh so sensual and nice. Master stops after each set to check just how much I am enjoying this, in spite of my "uncomfortable" position. We chat about my increasing ability to "cum" during a spanking. Master is very proud that He was able to lead me to this point, in spite of my doubts.
Master then decides He needs to leave me with some luck...some friends and I have planned a casino day for Friday...so He takes out His 'shamrock' paddle. It is  large enough to almost cover one cheek, is shiny and on the thick side. He starts slowly, but quickly revs things up.

    He stops to see if at least a part of me is enjoying this....I say no. But once again "she",my pussy", has different ideas. Master is relentlessly bringing me to the edge and stopping, asking me what I need or want to continue. I finally just let out  a "PLEASE Sir",  but He pulls out and says you need to ask for what you need, or you will get no release. He then goes back to pleasing....torturing...me, telling me to ask or it will be a long 3 weeks before I get relief. Finally I just say the words, please paddle me some more so I can cum....and he does, and I do. Master stops the paddling, but continues to make sure that I have enough Orgasms to think back on.

    During all of this my hands were still cuffed behind me, an interesting head space. Master now wants me to kneel between His legs, and before I can ask to have the cuffs un-clipped, He has picked me up and deposited me between His legs. I still don't know how He did that.
After some thanking, cuddling and chat time, it is time for me to get up. Master unclips and removes the cuffs....and then asks me if I would like custody of the cuffs while I am away?

  It takes me a minute to realize what He is saying. He continues if I take them I have to find some time to wear them each day. I do have my own room at my son's and mom's so I figure it is doable, so I quickly agree and thank Him. Just smelling those cuffs puts me into a much better place. I wore (and smelled..lol) them last nite and this morning. Master is always finding ways to keep our connection strong, even when we have to be apart, which makes me very thankful.

   On the diet front, I am 3 pounds away from my new goal. Usually when I am away Master allows me to stay the same, or if I am very lucky to have a 2 pound window. I was expecting the same this time.....I should know better.  Master wants me to lost 1 pound a week, which means I will be at my goal when I return. Believe me, I tried to work out a better deal, but His mind was make up. Going away always sets me back or stops my progress, and He is not going to allow that this time....I am not happy about it, but I know He is not asking the impossible. There will be a punishment on my return if I do not succeed. I have decided to lose at least one of those pounds before I leave on Saturday, and at least I am going to where there is lots of yummy fresh seafood! 

   Play nice while I am away, I hope to check in on you occasionally....

  hugs abby

   

   

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Win--win

     I was very pleasantly surprised by Master when He decided we should have a round 2 of cuffs and my little "wheelie". 


  I wasn't expecting it when I walked in.  After chatting a bit, I was told get get ready....meaning, naked and kneeling. Once I was kneeling , I noticed Master had His toy bag nearby. He pulled out the cuffs, He chuckled when He saw my expression. Cuffs, twice in one week...almost as good as a winning lottery ticket! After Master put them on , He asked if I had my "wheel toy" in my bag. I did, but I was curious, had He forgotten He had paid off His losing debt? He explained, that last time He had concentrated on my back side, today He was going to concentrate on my front. He started at my shoulders and worked His way down and up again, several times. Then He decided to concentrate on my breast. He sort of dared me to watch, so I    
did, of course. Once I started I could not look away. It was almost like, could this really be me?
He kept going over and around my nipples, until I was squirming. He had clipped the cuffs together. my hands behind me. Otherwise I don't think I could have kept them away. He then 'checked' to see if I really did like that little toy....Oh boy...I did and do! I was told to breathe deeply, He had not even spanked me yet....


   Just when I am thinking what a nice guy Master is, He reaches into His bag and takes out the....acrylic paddle...talk about ouchies. It has been a long time since I have seen it, but not long enough. Master looks at me and says, there are lots of things in His bag, I never know what He will decide on. I slowly climb over His lap, as He reminds me, I am not in  trouble, relax. Yeah, relax,,,,


   He does give me a short hand warm up and starts slowly and lightly with that darn thing. He stops and rubs and plays with me and says, I seem to be enjoying the lexan paddle, maybe I would enjoy feeling more of it. I get maybe 20 much harder ones, and I am quickly reminded why I dread that thing.....Master stops, checks and says, maybe I only like it when He is going at a slower and lighter pace...you think???? (I just thought that, did not say it, He was still holding it).  Before He starts again, He decides He wants me wetter and readier that I am, so His fingers work their magic. He asks if I think I can cum from that paddle, I say I doubt it. Of course, He is out to prove me wrong.


   He starts in with quick, but fairly light spanks....light considering what He is holding. I am relaxing and soon find myself rising to meet the spanks.  Master adds a little rubbing and more sets of fast and light, and it happens, I can feel it start, I am going to need a permission, which Master is only to happy to give! Before Master that big "O" was so elusive, now from a spanking???


   As I lay spent, I am ready to just be quiet and chat....Master says, He has not had His fun yet, that was His paddle. So He soon has me cumming again, and again. It is extremely hot here (weather wise), and by the time He was finished, Master told me to go kneel right in front of the fan, before I burst into flames. I was happy to obey. Master soon joined me, and we cooled down and just enjoyed each other.


     Then I was told to kneel between His legs. I thanked Him and we continued to chat, and wonder at how far we have come....


      Hope everyone is staying cool..


     hugs abby