Thursday, March 29, 2012

where I belong...

The celebrations over the weekend were a big success. My youngest grand-daughter is ready to be a big sister, she has shirts and books with big sister themes, and a "baby doll" with all the extras. She can play mommy when her mommy is busy with the new little one. My oldest grand-daughter is now 4...and she loved every minute of it. It was hectic but lots of wonderful memories were made!

I returned to a very busy week for both Master and I. It took til yesterday before we both had time to re-unite. I was feeling a little down, Master of course had noticed, both during our chats and as soon as He saw me. The simple truth was I had really missed Him a lot, even thought it was only a weekend, I seemed to be feeling like I really needed His touch, His pressence. I told Him I had really missed Him, He smiled and said that was easily remedied, so we started with a great big bear hug! He said it is nice to be missed and needed, He was happy to hear that was my "problem".

I gained a little less than 1 pound over the weekend, that kept me in my "safety zone", we were both happy about that! Master did bring up that nasty "E" word..exercise. I am having a hard time getting back into the routine of every day, but am trying. Master has decided I need to exercise, either wii, or a dance video I have, or walking the bike path, 5 days out of every week, I can choose the days. That way if I have an extra busy day being away, I can make up for it on the weekend...and NOT just blow it off.

It was then kneeling time, with Master warming me up all over. After concentrating on my breast, I was invited over His knee. He treated me to a wonderful hand spanking. Master commented on how still and quiet I was, He must be getting weak. I was just enjoying, but Master decided to rev it up a bit, and spank me so that I moved forward a little each time. I commented that the next time He is swinging His cane, I will remind Him that He likes me to move..lOl..

The spanking had finished warming up all of me. Master barely just started touching me and I was writhing and groaning..He told me to breathe and slow down, but it felt sooo good, and I was so ready. Since my bottom was nice and warm, Master decided to contrate on my mouth and pussy, filling them and telling me relax and enjoy all the sensations. Enjoying was easy, relaxing..not so much. Master was teasing, watching me get right to the brim and withdrawing, wanting me to ask, beg for release. Soon I was begging, and He pushed me over the edge. One of the interesting occurences after Master has me cum hard for Him, is I often get after tremors. My body shakes of its own volition, like it is trying to find its way back. Master loves these, I seem to have no control over them, but they are pleasant.

Once I was lucid, and breathing calmly, we had more hugging and catching up time. I was once again calm, my spirits lifted, knowing that I was owned, that I have found the place where I belong.

hugs abby

Friday, March 23, 2012

Celebrations

I am getting ready to leave for a weekend of celebrations. My children and grandkids will all be together for the weekend. We started a family tradition with my oldest grand-daughter before her brother was born...a big sister party. On Saturday, my Boston grand-daughter gets the big sister fun! We each buy or make a piece of clothing with Big Sister on it, get her a book about being a big sister, and a special big sister toy....we have balloons and cupcakes and fun! On Sunday we are celebrating my oldest grand-daughter's 4th birthday. She is one of those little girls who seems to possess a wise old soul, is so sweet. So another party, a Cinderella cake, and more fun. I will be returning on Monday.

Master and I had our celebration yesterday. I am back to my goal weight, and have really been working at getting back to an exercise routine. We, of course, started off with some naked kneeling, and He was "enjoying" my breast...He commented that I was not squirming...I replied...with just a bit of sarcasm..oh Master, it feels so good...He chuckled and said then I should thank Him.

He then had me bend over the ottoman, bottom out and took off His belt...the sound of that always makes me catch my breath. He started off lightly and each set getting progressively harder. He stopped and I was thinking that was just right, when I hear...hang on 12 more hard ones to carry you through the weekend. I whine a little about hoping we were done, but He has started. I stay in place, by the last 3 I am ouching loudly, but finaaly he drops the belt and starts to rub.

Just as I am beginning to pant and get "squishy", I am told to get over His lap. He is rubbing and massaging, and then I feel something prickly. It is my little "wheelie"! What a nice surprise. He is rolling it all over my back, thighs, bottom, any place He can reach, I am so relaxed. Master then remarks, He does not think He has been using it with enough force. He presses harder and repeats His routes. It is not as relaxing, but is awakening different sensations all over. He tells me He is going to increase the pressure and I should let Him know when it starts to hurt. On His second time around I tell Him now, after finishing His route He stops to rub and admire the pattern.

Master then gets my large toy...the one I always say is too big. He starts to tease me with it, touching my clit, pulling back, slowly and gently going in and out, til I can't stand it...and finally get a needed permission. I end with several body tremors which Master always seems to delight in. AS I am catching by breath, Master says He hopes that gets me back quickly...He knows how to entice a gal!

I am then between His legs, submissively thanking Him. Then it is back over His lap, for a nice hand spanking. He reminds me that I am to use all of my tools while I am away, or He will be using His tools when I return..and not the ones I would request!

It was a wonderful celebration to start my weekend of celebrations. I am feeling very blessed, and now need to go bake 2 dozen cupcakes for a 4 year old party!

Have a good weekend all....hugs, abby.

Monday, March 19, 2012

in a good place...

Sometimes, not often enough, one just has to sit back and look at life, and if you are lucky enough, appreciate that you are in a good place. Tonight, as I set here, I am in a good place for a lot of reasons.

Weather! Living first in Maine then in Western NY, I learned early on that weather is unpredictable, and be ready for the worse. In the pass, March here has meant an ice storm...that cut off power for most of us for 2 weeks....back to back blizzards, over 40 inches of snow in 2 days, cold, wind...March can be unreliable, just when you think spring might be around the corner you wake up to having to shovel. Not this year, last week we had temps in the 70's, going to be in the 80's this week. I am loving it, don't even care that we will have to pay some day. I know that not all of you are being this lucky this March, with severe storms, I am keeping all of you in my thoughts.

Family! Everyone is getting along, and a new addition is expected in about 1 month. We will all be together this weekend celebrating oldest grand-daughters 4th birthday. My children work to make sure their children know and love grandma...they are so precious. My mom is doing well, starting to perk up a little and thinking about a little traveling.

Master! (you knew I would get to Him, didn't you?) On Friday I loss 1.5 pounds, stayed the same today, but I am within my "safety zone", 1 pound away from my goal weight. On Friday, I was treated to a wonderful hand spanking and some "us" time...me kneeling and showing Him my submission, and then enjoying my own releases.

Today Master and I met for maintenance. He watched me undress, usually He is busy doing something in the house. He noticed I was blushing, and laughed. I knelt for Him, and He claimed me, showed me that I was all His. He then decided to use a paint stirrer for maintenance...this was a larger one that I have ever seen. He used it first on my breasts, He likes to make the point that He can spank me anyplace....and although it did hurt, it was not over or near my limit. Then it was over His lap, for a stingy, surface spanking,,,with stops for rubbing. Master found me wet and ready, as usual, and kept me on the edge for a bit, til finally I heard ..cum for Me!. It was ...like a rumble of orgasms, one following the other, that truly left me breathless.

Then Master and I were talking. I am not sure how we got to this topic, but I found I was opening up and sharing some things with Master that I have not been able to before now. We talked and He reassured and held me, and make me feel....taken of...content...in a good place. Master then said...its been a while since you have doubted Me. When Master and I were starting out, and for quite a few years beyond that, I was often sure that He would soon realize that He could do much better than me.

I was confident in many areas of me life, I know I was a good mom, an effective and valued teacher, a friend to many, etc...but because of how I looked, and because I had kept the real 'me' deeply buried, I was certain that Master would look at me and see the error of His ways. He always reassured me, but the insicurity came back. There were times I almost pushed Him away, that way it would at least, have been my idea. Lately, I seem to have loss those insecurities. It has been almost 10 years and He is still here, He knows "me" and accepts all of me and has helped me to accept "me". So yes, Master was right I realized, I feel safe, and comfortable, and secure, and my doubts have finally taken flight. This is a very good place to be!

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to stay in this place, I want to move forward. As I was leaving, Master thanked me for being such a good submissive, for being His submissive....yes I am in a good place, and I cherish the feeling.

hugs abby

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I survived

I woke up yesterday morning still tired after a very restless night. Every time I turned over, I woke up feeling the sudden pain from the caning. I thought I need coffee, then I remembered...He wants me to fast. Coffee is liquid right? So I sent a text asking if I could have my morning coffee...I got a one word reply...water. Water is not a great substitue for coffee.

As I made the fruit salad for my book club meeting, I was not in the best of moods. I kept hoping I would hear from Him , telling me I could at least eat some of the fruit. No call came. When I was ready to leave I sent a text to let Him know I was leaving, and that I thought He was mean. I made it through the pot luck, explaining that my tummy was upset, so I was not goint to eat, since we were watching a movie and discussing a book...it was not a total lie. I did text Master at noon, to remind Him it was His lunch time...one of my new keeping Him sane duties.

When I got home it was around 5...I was sore from sitting, tired, and hungry. I drank more water. I was trying to decided how early I could go to bed and sleep through the night when I heard from Master. I told Him I had been good all day..well except for calling Him mean. He asked if I had any fruit salad left over, I did. He told me to have a bowl when we finished, and asked if He had made His point. He had...punishing twice in a row for the same reason is NOT a good idea, He alsays ups the ante, He gets His way, and will do whatever it takes. I know that is several points, but I wanted to cover all the basis. I had a delicious bowl of fruit and went to bed calmer. I did manage to sleep almost all nite without waking up.

Sitting today is not as painful as yesterday, but my thighs and that spot just below my bottom still is very sore. I guess when you get 100 with a cane, it stays with you for a while. I can't believe I survived 100...very glad He did not tell me ahead of time how many He had in mind. This will be the first time that I am still sore on day 3 after a spanking, Master knows how to make a lasting impression.

hugs abby

Monday, March 12, 2012

Striped...

Master often surprises me...often they are good surprises, then like today, there are the not so good surprises. Master would say today should not have been a surprise, and maybe..He is right.

My weigh in today was stay the same. I figured, for a weekend, that was OK. When we talked at lunch, Master told me to text Him at 3 to see if He was going to be able to leave work. I sent a text, asking if we would have Maintenance today. It is Monday, and I had not gained, so I figured maintenance would be on the agenda, probably a long, hard spanking since I am still 1/2 pound above my limit.

Master was able to leave, we met, as we were hugging He looked at me and said...you know you are in trouble. I expressed surprise, I had not gained it was over a weekend? His view..He had paddled me long and hard on Friday for being 1/2 pound over, and I was still 1/2 pound over...guess He did not make an impression on me. I said He had, but....not buts allowed, He obviouly did not do a good enough job on Friday, and was going to remedy that today. GULP...He was calm and determined...

I was told to get over the ottoman, hands on the floor. He went and returned with a cane. He told me if I moved out of position, He would start over, and the target would change to my thighs. I rarely get spanked on my thighs, but I know it increases the pain and burn by a lot!

No matter how prepared I think I am...the burn of that first swish always surprises me. I was determined to stay in position and keep breathing. I did not count, could not count, but was ouching and owing and groaning..but staying in position.

Finally there is a break...I hear Master say, get up and same position other side of the ottoman. UGH..not what I wanted to hear. I slowly move Master tells me to stop hesititing.When I am over the ottoman I am told to spread my legs..wide. I do, He gives me antoher swich and is pleased with the welt. He informs me His goal is to make it so I remember very time I sit to eat for the next few days, that I need to lose at least 1/2 pound. After a few sets, I hear 10 hard ones...like the others were soft???
But they are harder, I do stay in position, Master actually says He is proud of me for staying in position. I am thinking finally, He is finished.

Instead I hear, put your legs together, six more, you will count and thank me..on your thighs. I try to keep myself thinking, only 6 more. After the third one, He says, not a good welt, that one might have to be repeated..( He did not repeat it, think He just wanted to see if I reacted). We get to 5, my thighs are burning , He asks me how many more,.."One Sir"...and I get the final one. Moving and getting up is painful.

As we are hugging, Master asked if He made an impression...He did. He then tells me tomorrow is going to be fast day for me. Fast, as opposed to slow?? He continues, I am to have only water all day. I say, not tomorrow, I can't. (I know, I should have only thought that). I am going to a pot luck lunch with my book club. I plan on bringing a fruit salad, so I will stay with a good eating plan. I say, well I can eat my fruit...No just water, and He means it. My thighs and my bottom are reminding me the best answer is Yes Sir. He tells me once again, He hates punishing for the same thing twice in a row, Friday and today...I am over my limit, He will see to it that I get back and stay there...whatever it takes. He says He probably was too easy on me Friday...NOT!

I do recognize that there are times I feel the need for a harder spanking. I had been feeling that lately, but I also felt that Friday had taken care of that. Master did not see it that way, and He gets to decide.

While I was over the ottoman Mater took a pic of my bottom and thighs. He said something about posting it here, I replied I had no idea how to do that...He said He could fix that,..we will see. (or maybe not see).

On the exercise front, I have upped both the intensity and time on the wii. I also have an ABBA dance disc, that leaves me panting, and very glad that noone is wathcing! The weather here has been fantastic..like May, so I also plan on walking the bike path. Hopefully I can get myself into a good exercise groove!

hugs abby

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Upping the ante...

The title was suggested by Master, since I hate thinking up titles, I am going with it...it does seem to fit.

This has been one of those weeks when life takes over and patience is needed. I have never...still don't...do patience well.

Over the weekend, I included a note in one of my daily reports to Master. I knew I had been barely staying where I should with the weight, and although maintenance is helpful, I had been feeling that I needed more...something more intense. So I asked Master if He could rev up maintenance, for just this week. I knew I should ask in person, and would, but the note was like practicing.

My report on Monday was a 1 pound gain. Yes it was my birthday weekend, but Master had made it clear that was not to be used as an excuse for a gain. I have not gone over my limit in a while, and knew this would be excused, and I was worried about a "basement" visit...where there are no good memories or sessions. Master's project at work went a little crazy and He had to put in extra time, we did not get to settle the gain.

On Tuesday, I took a friend for a chemo treatment, it was supposed to take about 5 hours, I ended up being gone for about 10 hours, and got home totally exhausted.

Today was our first opportunity to get together. I was worried about what He had planned, but also had reached the point where, I just wanted it taken care of. After hugs and some chatting, Master told me to get naked and kneeling. I immediately let out a breath of relief, we probably would not be heading to the basement. As Master reclaimed me, He let me know that the gain was going to be dealt with, but that He was now more concerned with my exercise...or lack of it. He wants me to tone up, and also the eating part will be easier to deal with if I am burning more calories. I agree, but I hate to exercise...wish I was addicted to it, but no way.

So, Master has decided I am to exercise in some way every day...I think He meant 5 days a week. By exercise He means I need to get sweaty and ucky and in need of a shower...UGH. I can choose what to do, but it needs to be something more than a nice stroll on the bike path. Master is not one to micro manage, although He can. He prefers to set a goal...like with weight loss and let me decide how to reach it...He also provides the incentive:) or :(! He did say He could start expecting me to measure myself weekly and send it a report (no way do I want that to happen), or I could exercise in front of Him ( I know that would not be a happy time), or I can just decide to figure it out on my own. For now I am on my own...

Master then told me to get over His lap. I knew He was being kind, a punishment where I am over His lap...almost unheard of....but so appreciated! He had His green shamrock paddle..it is smallish, but thick. He started in with a fairly long set, letting me know this was His version of a warm up...we do have different definitions of that term. Then He tucked me in, and was spanking hard and fast, for what seemed like forever, with no break. I managed to not move around and keep myself from asking for it to be over.

When Master finally stopped, we chatted a bit about consequences and expectations, and then Master said, time for Maintenance. We need to rev it up a bit? I immediatly replied no, I had changed my mind. He did not buy it, and said He thought it was a good idea. We talked about submission, and pleasing Him, and how I feel when I know He is pleased with me. He said He was going to give me another hard paddling, and when He was done, I would kneel between His legs, look at Him and thank Him....and it needed to be sincere. On top of the first paddling it did not take very long for me to feel like my bottom was on fire. This was another long, hard paddling.
But, I could also feel myself relaxing inside, going to my special submissive place, feeling like my world was being put right. That probably sounds a little crazy, and I am not sure how or why it works, but it does.
When He stopped paddling I immediately knelt between His legs. He reminded me to look at Him, and I sincerely thanked Him...and did truly mean it.

We chatted a bit, about being ready to add to my submission, and if I thought my plate was full. He also let me know that He expects I will do everything He expects, because I want to please Him, that I should not be trying to "get away" with something. I feel I am there...at least most of the time. He then told me to get up and get His large paddle out of His bag. I found it, and nicely handed it to Him.

He had me go back over His lap, and said He would be using it more often. I groaned, and He decided to let me know how it felt. He gave me 5 hard ones, and asked how they compared with the early ones...this is a larger and heavier paddle...the burn on my bottom was re-awakened and intensified.
He then decided to check if any part of me had enjoyed His paddling. He found me to be wet and swollen, so of course, He let His fingers rub and poke and pull...and soon had me squirming and panting. He chose then to remind me that this was punishment...no permissions granted. I groaned...

So being the generous Master, He offered me deal. I could earn a permission by asking Him for 5 more hard ones with the large paddle. As I considered it, He continued to use His finger and hands to keep me "on edge". It did not take me long to realize I needed to accept His terms, and agreed. He wanted me to ask very nicely, and keep count and thank Him after each one. They were even harder than the previous ones, but I had earned my permission...or 2...or 3. He chuckled and said He should have upped the ante, and made the permission worth more than just 5 more.

After some quiet cuddle time, our time was over. Master had indeed upped the ante...the exercise ante, the maintenance ante, and the expectation ante....if we were playing poker, it would be my turn to meet the bet.

hugs, abby

Saturday, March 3, 2012

time to add another candle to that cake!

Yes, this is my birthday weekend. I think one day is too little time to properly celebrate...I would like to get away with a week!


Friday morning Master sent me a text before I was even out of bed. He was packing His toy bag, and getting out of work early , so we could start the weekend with a private bithday celebration. Now that is a wake up call I could get use to!

I won't reveal my age...but when I say it out loud it sounds old...Master said it is the age inside that counts, and that is still very young. After a bithday hug, Master put the wrist and ankle cuffs on me. These are the best, they are leather, but fur lined, and just having Him put them on me, moves my mind to a very submissive place. We should use them more ofter...hint, hint. Then it was kneeling time , with Master massaging me all over, making sure I was very relaxed.

Master said this could take a while, since He was going to give me my age with the toys, I suggested that maybe each decade might be better for some of time, that gave Him a chuckle.

We started with my favorite...the large, leather flogger. He started with swirling it all over...up and down, in and out, swirling...ahhhh.
Then the flogging, mostly on my back, one set on my bottom. All too soon, even at my advanced age...He had finished with the flogger. My next favorite, over His knee for a lovely hand spanking. Of course, Master cannot hand spank, without letting His fingers roam after each set, so by the end of the hand spanking, I was nearly floating.

I am not sure about the order of the other toys, but they included, the Shamrock paddle, a wonderfle small leather paddle, a few other small paddles. Then it was up and over the edge of the sofa for the large leather strap. I had to alert Master at the end of each 10, so He could switch sides. Then, what I think is Master's favorite leather....His whip. We have not played with the whip in a long time, and yes it is leather, but I do have to adjust to its sting. Master was about to start the last set, when He said, nice and hard...right? I hesitated, but gave the Yes Sir. As soon as He finished He was quickly rubbing the sting out, and clearly admiring the design on my back.

I was then told to kneel between Master's knees, and let Him know if I had enjoyed my birthday spanking...since I had, I definately let Him know how much. I was then told to turn around , so He had access to my bottom, and Master soon had me begging for permissions...and a few were granted.
We then spent some quiet time, just recovering and enjoying each other.

It was a great beginning to my birthday weekend!

abby