Monday, February 27, 2012

service is...

...whever Master wants! Seems simple, when I stop complicating it! I solved the "keeping Master sane" dilema after my failure last Friday. In bed Saturday morning, it dawned on...He was asking me to be His secretary, to keep from losing track of time, to remind Him there are other items on His agenda....and Sarah Thorne left a comment about beng an administrative assisstant. (could someone please give me easy dierections on how to cite someone's blog when I mention them..thanks!) I figured that was a promotion up from secretary! Master chuckled when I told him about this, He said it is all service...and if an administrative assissitant is want He needs, it is how I serve Him.

I sent Master a couple texts today and left a couple voice messages, He spent most of the day in meetings. He thanked me for them, and was pleased. When His day finally ended we had "our" time. I gained 1/2 pound over the weekend, that puts me at the limit of my 2 pound above the goal. We talked about that, and He questeioned me about exercise. He has been telling me I need to get back to it...and yes, He is right...luckily I did today.

We then moved on to kneeling time, and His focus on my breasts. I was then invited over His lap. He gifted me with a fairly long hand warm-up with lots of rubbing. Since this is Monday, maintenance was also in play.
I felt the coolness of wood, and groaned, He turned it over to let me feel the bristle much nicer. He then started in with it, but lightly with a slow build-up, just as I was really relaxing into it, He said, don't relax too much, this isn't the maintenance part. I asked if it could be, and we both know that would not work, I need the harder maintenance to keep me balanced.

He then 'tucks' me in, and that brush starts to fly, hard and fast.
I am ouching and tapping my feet, He was doing a thorough job. Finally He stops, and just as I start to breathe normally, I hear....10 more hard ones for not keeping me sane on Friday. They were hard and slow. finally I start to breathe again, and I hear 10 more hard ones for being at the end of your 2 pound leeway. I rise up, turn and look at Him and say...what? He replies...on, 12 more. It does not take me long to get back in position and take the 12....

Master then does His check to see if I am wet. I am and He tells me what a good girl I am. We continue on to several permissions, and end with some quiet snuggling time.

I thank Master for giving me this time, He says it is as much a givt to Himself!

I know I can do this...I can serve Master as a secretary...that is what He needs at this time. It is not nearly as complicated as I tried to make it.


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Master might go insane.....

Master is sane, but if it is my task to keep Him that way He might be in trouble.

In my last post, I wrote about my new task, to keep Master sane while He is working on His latest work assignment. That was Wednesday, I failed on whole day.

Friday morning, I sent Master a text asking for permission for my errands. The rule is , if I don't get a reply in 15 minutes, then my requests are granted. Now I rarely do not get an answer, He is very good at sending me a quick text. I did not get an answer, but knew I could still get what I needed to done.

I call Master at lunch time every day, unless He knows that I have an appointment or for some reason cannot. On Friday lunch time rolled around, and I thought...time to call Master. Then some "demon" popped into my head and created the thought...if He was too busy to reply to a text, He is probably too busy for a call...I KNOW..I do know, that is ridiculous, and should have just laughed and called Him. I did not call.

I heard from Master as soon as He got out of work. "Why no call today?"
That was the last question I wanted to answer, but I did. The best I could do is reply, "I guessed you were too busy". I know, pretty lame, and He was not pleased...asking me if that is how I planned on keeping Him sane. I apologized and added I am not really comfortable with being the keeper of His sanity. He was less impressed with that. I promised to try harder, no to actually work harder at it, and He accpeted that.

I know, logically, that since Master wants me to do this, I am not taking control or over stepping, or 'topping from the bottom', but then why am I struggling? If I should somehow cross a line, He will let me know, He really doubts that will happen. One day, and this is supposed to be a 6 month I have spent some time today trying to come up with a different mindset, and some ideas that will help me keep Him sane, and me obedient. Wish me luck!

hugs, abby

Thursday, February 23, 2012

it's been a while......

Hi, I am in case you have all has been a while.

I spent a week with my mom. It was good for both of us, to have the time to talk about dad, and about her, to sort through things she has not been able to do alone. We ate when we wanted, what we wanted (with me being careful not to go overboard), and just enjoyed each other's company. I went a week without internet, missed it at first, but survived.

Then it was off to Boston, it was hectic, fun and busy, My 2 year old grand daughter is all energy and movement. She loves to run, and on the second day, she tried to teach me how to run faster. How to place my feet and hands and arms, and to move them very fast....I slept well every night!
By the time I got on the computer at night, I checked email and sent my report to Master, and went to bed. I have a lot of catching up to do with all of you.

In my last post, I mentioned taking my wheelie thing with me. Its official name is a Whardenberg wheel. It is a medical tool, I believe. Mine was very unexpensive, ohhh do I love it! It is metal, has a small rolling spike wheel. Master uses it all over, with different pressure, it fits anyplace, the sensation is relaxing, awakening, sensual....just thinking about it makes me tingly!

Master and I had our welcome back time. I had so missed his smell, his touch, his feel...all of him. We enjoyed kneeling time, a wonderfully long awaited for hand spanking, a maintenance spanking...with the hairbrush. When I groaned at the hairbrush, He promised to use both sides, the soft bristle side is of course, my favorite side! LOL We had some serious re-connecting time, and some chat time.

I managed to only gain 1 pound while I was away,,,guess my grand daughter is a good influence! He was very pleased. Before I left I had been struggling with exercising every day. Once I let the routine slip, it is hard to get back to it. Master made it clear He did not care if I use the wii, or walk, or whatever, but He expects an exercise plan, and for me to get to it. I am working on the plan, I am just struggling with the motivation part, not that I want Master to get involved in motivating me.

Master was also very happy that while I was away, I was very careful to keep up with all His expectations. Those often slip a little when we are apart, but I was very alert to not letting that happen this time. Master noticed, and let me know that He was proud of me!

Master has been assigned a new project at work. He is excited about it, except for the fact that it has a 6 month dead line, and He does not think is possible. If I know Him , He will make it happen. Since He also knows Himself, He has assigned me a new task...."the keeper of His sanity"!
He wants me to be aggressive, pushy, about our time together. To really work at making it happen...He realizes this is a stretch for me, outside of what I am comfortable with, which is why He has called it a task. I am not all that comfortable with this new task, there is still a little part of me, that worries, if I cross some invisible line, He will say, it is too much, and decide to find a more suitable submissive. I KNOW it is not logical, but it is there. I am going to try, I started by texting Him more often today, He always is telling me, it can't be too much, we will see. I need to stop thinking of it as being "in control", and see it as doing what He wishes...wish me luck on that.

I hope to be catching up with all of you soon. I am not planning an extended time away until April, when a new grand daughter is due!

hugs, abby


Monday, February 6, 2012

hello....good bye

I returned from my visit with my daughter and her family yesterday. It was a fun weekend...My granddaughter called last night and said she was missing me already! I had a busy day, unpacking, laundry, organizing and re-packing! I have an early morning flight out tomorrow. I am going to spend a week with my mom. I am going to help her do some more sorting, organizing and cleaning... and spend some alone time with her. Over Christmas there were so many of was fun, but hectic.

My son and 2 year old granddaughter are coming to get me next weekend so I can spend a week with them...I will be away for 2 weeks.

Master and I did squeeze in some time together this afternoon. We started by just sitting and chatting. I was sort of having a pity party for myself...after listening and being supportive and saying all the right things, He let me know the pity party was over!

It was time for kneeling. Master spent a long time on my breast, smushing, pulling, tugging and kneading. It actually felt right, and put my head back where it needed to be.

Then it was over His lap. He started MM day off with a warm up! I was surprised and pleased, and told Him what a nice guy, letting me have a warm up...His reply...maybe because I know you will need one. That made me think! Then it was paddling time. He did not waste time, and when I put my leg up, my thighs became the target. I settled in, and after a few sets, He stopped for some rubbing. Just as I was relaxing, He stops rubbing, picks up the paddle ....this is for that pity party...and He gives me antoher hard volley. I am ouching before He is done...but when He is, I know I am at peace.

His fingers are then starting their magic journey...He remarks I am already wet and ready. I am soon soaring and pleading for a permission or two. Master remarked that He thinks the harder He spanks me, the readier I am...

Master then assigned me 2 new tasks to do while I am away. I am to take my little wheely thingy with me, and use it to help get me ready to ask for permission. I love that little thing, it has been a while since it has been used, so I am looking forward to using it. Also I am to play with myself for at least 3 minutes each day.

I will be checking and seeing what you are all up to...

hugs, abby

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

a light bulb moment

Since I am leaving tomorrow for my long weekend with the grandkids, Master and I met for maintenance today. My bottom was still tender from yesterday, but maintenance happens every week, and as Master pointed out, I was the one going away.

We were chatting when I arrived, when I started to get naked, so I could kneel. Master was quite surprised, (and I think pleased) that I did not wait for Him to tell me. While kneeling we discussed yesterday a bit, and that He hoped my head was back where it needed to be.

Then I was told to lean over the sofa, feet spread wide. He said He had decided on leather today, and I heard the swish of His belt...that sound is like no other! He gave me one swat with it doubled and said that it was too "thuddy", so He started using just the end of the belt....that was REALLY stingy! After a couple He told me to count silently to 25 and let Him know when He was done. This was something new, and counting silently is harder than counting out loud, I did not dare miscount, but instead of Master keeping up with my counting, I had to keep up with His swinging. Master kept saying it's leather ...relax, and I wisely just kept counting. Finally I loudly said 25 that's it!

He congratulated me that our counts matched...I commented I did not want any extra....nor did I want to start over...He chuckled again, good thinking. Just as I was relaxing I heard Him say, time for the other side, same routine. I let out a very loud moan, I thought we were done. We were not, and I counted silently again, really really happy when I got to 25.
Master was rubbing as we chatted, me still in position. Soon my knees were buckling and I was having trouble staying still and standing. Master kindly told me to cum for Him.

We talked about the weekend, and what He expects. He gave me a couple extra tasks to complete to help me stay on track. He also reminded me that I have only 1/2 pound to spare before I am out of my safe weight zone. When I return I am in town only 1 day before I leave to visit my mom, so I am determined to make that day one with a happy Master.

My light bulb moment....last night I was thinking about Master and our afternoon. I often need time to process and think about our chats. I knew I had faltered in my rules, and maybe had been a little rebellious. The strange thing is, I had been thinking I want/need more control. What I realized last night was,,,if I can't handle...conform to...keep....obey...the rules I have, I certainly have not earned more control. A long time ago, someone told me, the more submissive you are , the more dominant your partner will want to be. It was a good time to remember that advice...and if I become more diligent in following my rules and pleasing Master, that in and of itself is more control. Hope that makes sense to someone else out there.

Have a great weekend all...