Monday, November 7, 2011

diets, belts and submission

I have been sitting here trying to think of a title. The above is the best I could do.

I haven't mentioned that miserable D word is a while..diet. Usually after I reach a goal, I either ask Master to help me reach another goal, or Master will ask if I am willing to try for more. This time I wavered, did not really want to go on, wanted a break. Master enticed me by saying if I lost 10 more by Thanksgiving I could stay the same (plus 2 pound from my goal) until Jan. 1st. Then we would discuss it and I could decide if I wanted to set another goal. This was a few weeks ago, and I agreed. It's been a struggle. I just really want a break. When I said that to Master, He said, we made a deal...You can do this. I asked if I did not reach the goal by Thanksgiving, would the deadline be extended. He replied, yes, but the goal would also be higher. "Not fair", was my instant reply. I do know that "fair", as most people look at it, does not exist in a power exchange relationship. I am half way there. I told Master this afternoon, my heart was not in this, He acknowledged that, and said reach your goal, you get a break. I have always believed that in order to lose weight it has to be for you...you have to really want to. I still believe that, but I guess if you have a Master who really wants you to....that works also.

Part of my problem with this, I think, is that we have been working on this diet for a long time. It has been a part of our dynamic for so long, I am afraid that without it, maybe...Master will consider His "job" done. It scares me, even though I realize it is not logical.

When we met this afternoon, Master treated me to His belt. After my kneeling time, He had me lay over the arm of the sofa. As soon as I started to hear Him taking His belt through the loops I looked up...it's been a while since His belt came into play. He started off lightly and stopped often to rub....oh...I was just beginning to float when the thud changed to a sharp sting. Master had "unlooped" the belt and the single strip was really stingy. I was struggling both with the surprise and the sting. Master quickly said, I don't like this as much and the double, I quickly agreed. I was soon settling in again to the feel of the leather, and the increase in heat. I hear Master say, "Hang on tight", and I know He is going to rev it up. Last 12 were much harder, but I was in my zone by then, and welcomed them.

Master then had me get over His lap for a hand spanking. It occured to me to say to Him this part should come first...His hand can be hard, but after a good "belting", its effect is diminished. After more spanking, rubbing, and some roaming of His fingers, I was told to kneel between His legs. Let's just say, He had other submissive activities in mind.

Then it was my turn. I could feel myself getting wet, and wanting to cum. Master, slowly brought me to the peak, and it was amazing. Master even commented, how are you going to descibe this orgasm on your blog. So I am not even going to try...the word "earthquake" does come to mind. It took me a while to come back to my senses, Master was there holding and rubbing and speaking smoothly to me.

Submission, it covers lots of ground. Losing 5 more pounds when it is the last thing I want to do.....and spending the afternoon pleasing and being pleasured.

abby

5 comments:

  1. I really don't think you have to worry about Him feeling like his "job" is done... I imagine he will find another one, we submissives are all a work in process!! ;o)

    Your goal.. you can do this... I'm so proud for you for as far as you have come!!

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  2. Have you talked to him about your fears: "It scares me, even though I realize it is not logical."? I'll bet that would help. Sara

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  3. Oh, I am sure that there will be other things to 'work on'!! And, of course, you'll need to maintain the weight! ;)

    There are a lot of things in our heads sometimes that are not logical, and most are related to fear. Communication is key!

    sarah

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  4. Mikki....Hmm Master actually said something similar....I will just find something else to hound you on! Thanks for the comment. abby

    Sara and sarah....Yesterday master said we need to discuss your recent blog. We did talk it out, He assured me maintenance would be closely watched, and He also has other things in mind. abby

    hidden, welcome back! abby

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