Sunday, July 31, 2011

"no news"

For the first time since we started maintenance spankings...almost 1 1/2 years...maintenance did not happen this past week. We were both in town all week, and did try, but that thing called " real life", was in charge. We tried, starting on Wednesday, but it was not to be. As much as maintenance spankings are not 'fun' spankings, it made me sad. I've been around long enough to know that we were pretty luck to have made it 18 months before this happened, but still.....

My weigh in last friday was a loss, of over a pound! I have had the munchies all day today, so I am not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh- in.

My son completed his first 1/2 triathelon this week...WOW! He's been training for a few months, his wilfe is training to run 1/2 marathon. Who are these 2?? I am very proud of both of them.

Looks like another hot, dry week here...hope you all have a good week!


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

what goes down....comes up??

I have had an up and down past few days. Last week was one of those where all feels right ... I was focused, calm, relaxed, happy with my little piece of the world. I felt I was finally beginning to let some major walls crumble. Yesterday, I woke up to doubts, questions, and I started to go within myself. Master says I go quiet on Him...not a good sign. I knew that Master was having an extra busy day, so I decided to just try and ignore my feelings.

Of course that did not work too well. I think I talked myself into a mild panic and thought that maybe instead of letting those walls crack I should be putting them back up. It wasn't really what I wanted, but the thought of being that open, scared me.

Master, who claims he can hear my thoughts and feel my moods at a distance, knew that something was not right. He let me know this morning, that He would see me this afternoon. We hugged, chatted, had some kneeling time, during which He repeated to me, that busy or not, I am still supposed to keep in touch with Him. He understands my reasoning, wanting to not bother Him, but it is not what He wants or expects. Calls, texts, reports are all to continue, I am not being a pest....I am doing what He wants. He asked if I understood, I replied, Yes Sir, but too quietly, and He had me answer Him several more times, before he was satisfied.

While I was over His lap, He asked why I had "gone quiet". I said it did not matter anymore, I did not want to talk about it. Not quite the answer He wanted. He said He was going to start spanking my thighs, and would stop when I started talking. He started off lightly, but continued with no breaks. My thighs are a lot more sensitive than my bottom. After a while he said, You can stop this when you decide to talk, I am not stopping until you talk. I finally had enough and decided to talk.

We discussed some long standing fears, and my thinking I needed to start shoring up some walls, along with a couple other concerns. Master always, is excellent at getting to the crux of the matter, making me see it in another light, and assuring me that I am not going crazy. He did say that if I dared to start rebuilding any walls, He was going to use the largest paddle He had to break them down....think I won't go to the trouble of rebuilding them.

I was still over His lap. I used to hate chatting while in that position, but it does have it's advantages. He started to spank again....on my bottom. He only used His hand....but His hand can be plenty hard, plus He tends to added advantage. I am always surprised, at how quickly He can get me squirming and moaning, His voice, His look, His wonderful hands...every part of Him...just seems to get my "juices" flowing. Several permissions later, I was spent and content with the knowledge, that I am His.

Another plus for today was that I convinced Master that a stay the same weigh in was acceptable for Mondays. He did say, because He was giving me an inch, I should not try to turn it into a I am apt to do:) abby

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The "M" word

I hope you are all keeping cool. We broke a record here today, 98! I am a summer girl, but this is a bit too much for me!

As I was getting my hair cut today I was thinking about this past week. Suddenly my thought process went to...Yikes it is Thursday. I have not mentioned the M word to Master...maintenance. It is my responsibility to check with Master and find a time for my weekly maintenance spanking, and He does not like for me to wait til Friday to bring it up.

As soon as my hair was done, I called Master and brought up the "M" word. He chuckled and said to plan on this afternoon. When we first started maintenance, I looked forward to it, I could not imagine that I was actually going to get spanked every single week...and for over a year now I have been, most weeks more than once.

Master views maintenance as a way for us to connect, but also as a way to avoid a more serious punishment spanking. For the most part, it has worked, punishments are certainly less frequent, and there is never a thought of me "testing" or or trying to earn a spanking. But maintenance spankings are not fun, they are serious, and they hurt.

As the afternoon approached I kept thinking it has been over 3 weeks since my last maintenance spanking, I hope Master remembers that and goes easy on me. I was nervous. I even decided to wear a new pair of black undies I had bought just for Him, hoping He would let me leave them on.
He admired them and told me to take them off! RATS!

I was told to bend over a chair and stick my bottom out. I looked back to see he had the big, heavy paddle ball paddle in His hands. I gave him a look, and He reminded me the purpose of maintenance and said only 12...hard ones. I muttered my yes Sir, He reminded me to breathe as He started in.

He did stop to rub and roam and touch after each couple of swats, but they did HURT....He claimed I should not concentrate on my bottom, but try to direct the pain elsewhere....I soo wanted to say, "then stop directing the pain at my bottom", but I have learned that somethings are better said just to myself.

We finally got to the last 3, which of course were going to be the hardest ones. He did give me 2 very hard ones, and the last was not quite so hard. He continued His rubbing and roaming, until I was squirming, and feeling the heat not on my bottom, but elsewhere. Permission was finally granted for my release, and I was allowed to stand.

Master had put the paddle down and I reached over to touch it, then changed my mind. Master was grinning and said you may touch. I said what I really wanted to do was smack His bottom so He coud direct the pain elsewhere.....but I wasn't sure I was ready for the consequence. Master thought that was rather amusing, saying He does not see the brat in me very often, it could be entertaining, but there would be consequences.
I am still debating if they might not be worth it...stay tuned.

Master then sat and told me to sit on His lap. I always get a little flustered when He wants this, I always think...I won't fit, I will be too heavy for Him, etc. He gave me the look, so I sat. He reassured me He was comfortble and His legs were not going to be damaged. Then He hugged me tightly and started to rock gently back and forth, and I totally relaxed.

I felt so safe, cared for, and content sitting on my Master's lap....what a great way to end the afternoon!


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Remember me?

Yes, I am finally back....I have spent the last 3 weeks being entertained by a delightful 3 year old, and meeting the newest member of the family...a red haired little (well not so little) guy. When I was telling Master how cute he was, Master corrected me. Handsome, he told me was the proper term for a boy...not cute. LOL...he is cute and handsome!

Keeping up with a 3 year old, kept me very busy. We did a lot of floating, swimming, playing school and library, cooking, making posters...since she knows all her letters!

I knew being away for so long was likely to be a major problem for my diet. I really tried to be conscious of what and how much I was eating, figuring the swimming and walks would take care of the exercise. I was hoping to have stayed the same, knowing that would be a good report, since going away often means a gain. TA-DAH...I loss a little over 2 pounds...both Master and I are very pleased.

Master and I have reconnected with a massage, kneeling time, a wonderful hand spanking, and the granting of many permissions. He always seems to know just what to say and do to have me purring (and yelling). More importantly to welcome me back so that I know I am where I belong, where I can be "me".

I have started to try to catch up on all of your blogs, it will take a while. I am mostly reading, leaving a quick commnent on some, I love hearing about what you have been up to!