Monday, June 20, 2011

consistency....be careful what you wish for...

I think most would agree that one of the most important factors in making a power exchange relationship work is consistency. When I first met Master, it was just to get an occasional spanking, as we progressed through the stages of our relationship, consistency became an issure. At first the lack of it, not always, but occasionally. He would threaten, and after about the 5th time I figured out it was a threat, and not much of a motivator. At times it would be so long between spankings that a promised punishment would be forgotten. As we traveled down the M/s path, Master realized the importance of consistency. Now if a punishment is not delivered I am thrilled, until I start to get "antsy" and uneasy and Master realizes what is missing.

As much as I know how important consistency is, there are times when I wish for some wriggle room....like today.

I gained a pound over the weekend, the same pound I had lostlast week, so there has been no progress in a couple of weeks, at least. When Master has to punish for the same reason a second time, it makes Him think He did not do a good enough job the first time, I disagree, He always does a good job!

I sent in my report asking for clemency..."nope" was the reply. I tried all the excuses I could think of, He was not buying any of them. I know how much last week's paddling had hurt, and I did not want another one.

Now, Master does not grab me by the hair and force me to be punished, so we started this afternoon by talking. What's been going on in my head, why was I struggling so, and what happens when I get out of a deserved punishment. Master wants me to submit to my punishment and I finally submitted, just not all that graciously. Master sent me to the basement to get ready , and to be in position and waiting for Him. I was, although it was a while...thinking time , I suppose.

Master told me to ask nice for my punishment, for a hard punishment. It took me a long time to get the words out, and the sincerety seemed to be missing. He told me to get up and look Him in the eyes.

We talked some more. I said I wasn't sure I could lose anymore. He replied He knew I could, I just had not decided that I really wanted to. He continued, He had seen me when I was determined, and nothing could stop me. If I wasn't in a place where I wanted it for myself, then I was doing it to please Him. eventually I was ready to get back on position.

I asked for my hard paddling punishment in a stronger voice. Master reminded me that this was the second punishment in a week for the same reason, so this one would be longer, harder.

He was using the same big, think, heavy paddle as last week. I really struggled through the first 10. Master stopped and asked why I was struggling so....(DUH)...it hurts was my obvious answer. His reply was that He was not yet spanking as hard as last week, and I had taken harder spankings, without such fussing and moving. I had not pleased Him, and my head was not in the right place, He put the paddle on my back and told me not to let it drop while He gave me a little time to get myself refocused.

By the time Master was ready to start again, I was more ready. I managed to hold my position, and be quieter. Master was using sets of 10, and giving a tiny bit of recovery time between sets. He finally asked if I was ready to end this punishment...Yes Sir...realizing that the hardest were yet to come. He told me to count, loudly. I counted the first one..One Sir...He said I forgot the thank You. He did not start over, this time. There were 10, each one a little harder. I tried to get the count out as soon as I could just to get done. He gave me the last 2 in rapid fire.

He rubbed my bottom a little, and told me to get up and give Him a hug. He checked my bottom again, and said could not have been that bad, no marks...I do have marks tonight. He then sat in the chair and told me to sit on His lap. The first time Master told me to site on His lap, I looked at Him as if He were nuts. I was much heavier and had not sat in anyone's lap in a very long time. He insisted, and although it does not happen often, it does give me a feeling of safety and being cared for. He eventually reached over and started to rub and play...He continued until I was wet, hot and panting.....at which time he told me to get up. Punishment...no cumming for me.

Before I left Master did say that if we end up in the basement again anytime soon, He will get out His long, heavy paddle, and use 2 hands to swing it...it's up to me. I hate it when He says it is up to me...my choice. I understand why He says it more than I used to, but I still don't like it.

Consistency..it works...I am lucky that Master believes in it...but sometimes...the words "wriggle room" are the words I long for...

abby

4 comments:

  1. Ouch! That sounds awful. Consistency is important but I'm always happy on the rare occasion that I am let go.

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  2. I don't know...sometimes a pardon can be a welcomed thing. It's all about where your head is, isn't it? Sara

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  3. Ouch! the no cumming would be hard, and the thought of the two handed paddle would be enough to keep me focused for a while.
    The whole "your choice" is always a hard one too. Keep "wriggle room" sounds good though.
    HSxx

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  4. Stormy, I have been let go, but then my voices start in wondering why and causing me to get into more trouble. abby


    Sara, Master is always telling me it is all about head space...lol. abby


    hs..no cumming is always part of a punishment. I have felt that 2 handed padddle, a long time ago, and I don't intend for it to be used again. abby

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