Master will occasionally say to me, i give you enough rope and watch. He says this when i have been pushing the rules a bit, when i start to think i have control or can make certain decisions on my own, or when i am just being a "little" pushy. Doesn't sound like me at all, does it? It used to be, that the outcome of all that rope, was not a hanging, but a very unhappy Master, which of course translates into an unhappy me. This time, i realized what was happening in time to prevent "the hanging".
For some reason i have not had a good week. The worse part was i could not figure out why i was feeling unconnected or out of sorts, just not right. Things have been going well with Master, last Friday was awesome, i just could not figure it out. Maybe some kind of "sub drop", maybe worry over my daughter's pregnancy, maybe just me being crazy.
Today was Thursday and i had not brought up the word "maintenance" yet this week. It is one of my tasks that i am to check our schedules, and make it happen. I kept waiting, hoping i would magically get rid of my uneasy feelings, trying to find a way to deal with them myself. No, i did not mention them to Master. This morning i knew my week was running out, and i was not being successful in "fixing myself". So, i asked Master about maintenance and mentioned my feelings. He said He would see me during His lunch time.
After our hugs, Master started by saying, you know I was giving you enough rope.....I know i said, i just felt i should not be feeling the way i was. He reminds me that feelings are feelings, not right or wrong, they are my feelings. I told Him i was trying to deal with them myself, He gave me a look, and asked how well that was working for me.
Then it was over His knee, starting with a hand spanking, over clothing, progressing to a paddle on my bare bottom. This was a different paddle, smaller, but much heavier, lots more thud. He started slowly and built up in tempo and force. I was trying very hard to stay still, not kick up my legs, not try to get away, to keep breathing, and stay in place. Master even commented on the fact that i was trying very hard to be good. Then , He is stretching my skin, reaching for that spot between my bottom and my thighs, that tender spot, that reminds me, much later that i have been spanked. He slows down the pace, way slow, but increases the force, and i get 10 on each side. By the end, i am ouching out loud, but staying in place. Master finishes by reminding me He is here for me, and not to wait so long again to ask for His help....or to schedule my maintenance.
Then His fingers are roaming, and i am soon moaning. He is talking to me, and i am responding, but to be honest i cannot recall the conversation. I finally hear Him tell me to cum for Him, and i do...again and again. I say, no more...and He chuckles and continues, til He has found few more for me. I am laying spent over His lap, relaxed, at ease, submissive, calm, and thankful.
He then tells me to kneel between His legs. He reaches for my breasts, can't leave these out...i groan, but know He will do as He wishes. Finally He tells me to put my head on His chest, i reach my arms out to hug Him and He tells me to put them behind me. I am to fall into Him, giving up control. The lesson is not loss on me. After a bit, i get to hug Him, we chat a little, and Master has to return to work.
I spend my afternoon shopping, relaxed, knowing that i am not in control, that "me" is back, and i am thankful.
Have a great weekend everyone!