Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Rules and Expectations

There are lots of reasons i am glad i discovered blogs. One of them is how interesting it is to read how others structure their relationships. I know that each of us has to find our own way, and we have our unique way of exercising this power exchange. I often find myself thinking, wow, i could never ...or hmmm..maybe i should try hinting to Master. Since Master is away and i am a little bored, i thought i would share with all of you my rules and expectations, and how they came to be. I have been thinking about this all day, a little worried that i might forget one..or two...and Master would find a way to remind me...but here goes.

I have rules and expectations. Once in a while Master will say...don't make Me make that a rule. Early on, i would think what's the difference. The difference is a rule is more like enforced submission, an expectation is freely given. Broken rules mean punishment, unmet expectations bring about disappointment...for both of us.

My rules have developed over time. I am going to try to give them in chronological order.

1. Master gets an emailed report every night. This was a rule even before we started with D/s. He was helping me to exercise and lose weight for my daughter's wedding. My report was really simply a food journal that i mailed to Him, nightly. I still send Him that food journal, but i now add any news or parts of my day we have no discussed, how much time on the wii, if i have taken my meds, and what task i have done for Him. Not sending one occasionally is not a big deal, missing 2 in a row is a big deal. I also have to report my weigh-in. We started with once a week, it is now twice, Mondays and Fridays. I keep asking to go back to once, but looks like that will not happen.

2. When we moved to M/s the first rule was: no cumming without persmission. If i was on my own, or with Him. I have not been punished for breaking this rule in quite a while. I learned quickly that this was an important one for Him, always Punishable. I also quickly learned that saying "no thanks" when He text me to cum, was positively not a good idea!

3. "Queen of Sarcasm" was a nicknamed i earned in many circles. It was a good survival tool in my junior high classroom. Respect and NO sarcasm allowed was also one of my first rules. I will admit it took me a while to learn that saying some things just in your head is a great strategy. I still occasionally struggle with attitude, i don't view that as a matter of disrespect, Master disagrees.

4. I am to keep myself "clean shaven". Master shaved me the first time, i was so embarrassed, but it was also so sexy! I wish He would do it again. The only time that i run into a problem with this one is when i am away for over a week. I tend to let it go, recently Master has surprised me be starting to ask for pictures.

5. A rule that Master started about a year and a half ago is that i have to ask for permission before i drive any place. If i want to walk, i can go, otherwise, i ask. This rule started when i got into trouble for deciding that since i did not think that Master was interested, i did not need to continue with certain rules. He was not pleased, go figure! So this rule resulted, He explained we would be in touch more during the day, and i would be reminded that i am not in charge. It sounds more restrictive than it is, actually. I just about never get a no, and He is very good at quickly replying to my texts. Yes i have to ask even if i am away, or if i have company here.

An expectation was added to this rule, when Master thought i was taking advantage of a possible loop hole. I would ask for permission for as many places as i wanted to go to, and if i did not get to all of them, i figured i had permission for the next day...or whenever. Master noticed, so i now also text Him if i do not get to all the places i asked permission for. Also, no blanket....can i go run errands...i need to be specific. This rule/expectation really does remind me very day that i am not in charge.

6. An expectation is that i text Him a good night message every night. This started when i was struggling with something and Master would text me before bed, to sleep well or to "tuck me in". I liked ending my day that way, so it is now an expectation that i text Him before bed.

7. Master expects me to set up a time for maintenace spankings that occur once a week. Maintenance spankings started almost a year ago, when i emailed Master about feelings of "neediness" and my "voices". His answer was maintenance. To be honest, i was not sure how long it would last, but i should learn to not doubt. Every week that we are both in town, there is maintenance, even if there has been a punishment or reward or just some fun times. I am to set it up, as a way of getting better at asking for what i need. I am not sure that is happening, but setting up maintenance is getting easier for me.

I think i have covered everything....hmmm i hope so!

abby

1 comment:

  1. It's always so interesting how rules are so different for each couple. I have two silly ones, but they are real and carry consequences if broken. One is never let the cat drink out of the sink, and the other is don't move his shoes.

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