There are lots of reasons i am glad i discovered blogs. One of them is how interesting it is to read how others structure their relationships. I know that each of us has to find our own way, and we have our unique way of exercising this power exchange. I often find myself thinking, wow, i could never ...or hmmm..maybe i should try hinting to Master. Since Master is away and i am a little bored, i thought i would share with all of you my rules and expectations, and how they came to be. I have been thinking about this all day, a little worried that i might forget one..or two...and Master would find a way to remind me...but here goes.
I have rules and expectations. Once in a while Master will say...don't make Me make that a rule. Early on, i would think what's the difference. The difference is a rule is more like enforced submission, an expectation is freely given. Broken rules mean punishment, unmet expectations bring about disappointment...for both of us.
My rules have developed over time. I am going to try to give them in chronological order.
1. Master gets an emailed report every night. This was a rule even before we started with D/s. He was helping me to exercise and lose weight for my daughter's wedding. My report was really simply a food journal that i mailed to Him, nightly. I still send Him that food journal, but i now add any news or parts of my day we have no discussed, how much time on the wii, if i have taken my meds, and what task i have done for Him. Not sending one occasionally is not a big deal, missing 2 in a row is a big deal. I also have to report my weigh-in. We started with once a week, it is now twice, Mondays and Fridays. I keep asking to go back to once, but looks like that will not happen.
2. When we moved to M/s the first rule was: no cumming without persmission. If i was on my own, or with Him. I have not been punished for breaking this rule in quite a while. I learned quickly that this was an important one for Him, always Punishable. I also quickly learned that saying "no thanks" when He text me to cum, was positively not a good idea!
3. "Queen of Sarcasm" was a nicknamed i earned in many circles. It was a good survival tool in my junior high classroom. Respect and NO sarcasm allowed was also one of my first rules. I will admit it took me a while to learn that saying some things just in your head is a great strategy. I still occasionally struggle with attitude, i don't view that as a matter of disrespect, Master disagrees.
4. I am to keep myself "clean shaven". Master shaved me the first time, i was so embarrassed, but it was also so sexy! I wish He would do it again. The only time that i run into a problem with this one is when i am away for over a week. I tend to let it go, recently Master has surprised me be starting to ask for pictures.
5. A rule that Master started about a year and a half ago is that i have to ask for permission before i drive any place. If i want to walk, i can go, otherwise, i ask. This rule started when i got into trouble for deciding that since i did not think that Master was interested, i did not need to continue with certain rules. He was not pleased, go figure! So this rule resulted, He explained we would be in touch more during the day, and i would be reminded that i am not in charge. It sounds more restrictive than it is, actually. I just about never get a no, and He is very good at quickly replying to my texts. Yes i have to ask even if i am away, or if i have company here.
An expectation was added to this rule, when Master thought i was taking advantage of a possible loop hole. I would ask for permission for as many places as i wanted to go to, and if i did not get to all of them, i figured i had permission for the next day...or whenever. Master noticed, so i now also text Him if i do not get to all the places i asked permission for. Also, no blanket....can i go run errands...i need to be specific. This rule/expectation really does remind me very day that i am not in charge.
6. An expectation is that i text Him a good night message every night. This started when i was struggling with something and Master would text me before bed, to sleep well or to "tuck me in". I liked ending my day that way, so it is now an expectation that i text Him before bed.
7. Master expects me to set up a time for maintenace spankings that occur once a week. Maintenance spankings started almost a year ago, when i emailed Master about feelings of "neediness" and my "voices". His answer was maintenance. To be honest, i was not sure how long it would last, but i should learn to not doubt. Every week that we are both in town, there is maintenance, even if there has been a punishment or reward or just some fun times. I am to set it up, as a way of getting better at asking for what i need. I am not sure that is happening, but setting up maintenance is getting easier for me.
I think i have covered everything....hmmm i hope so!