Friday, January 21, 2011

Boston...."easy"

BRRRRR....When i am home i envy the mild Boston winters. This year, instead of the usual 15 inches of snow for this time of year, they are close to 50... with another storm headed here on Wednesday. To top it off, for the first time in years it should get below 0, by about 10 degress on Monday!!!! Hope the kids are enjoying Hawaii.

Babysitting is going well. She is an easy 18 month old to get along with. She is learning new words every day, which makes me love this age. We were supposed to head up to Maine today to visit my parents, but the 10 new inches of snow changed that plan. Hoping to get there tomorrow for a day or two.

The word "easy' has been running around my head lately. When i was a teenager to be an easy girl was NOT a good thing...i attended an all girl's private school...so positively not a good thing! But what about being an easy submissive? It would seem to be a good thing. Am i an easy submissive? I think i am easier than i used to be. Master was very patient and consistent when we first started this journey...not that He has changed. But i was so unsure of so many things, and found trust to be difficult to give. I once even asked Him, if He was sure i was a submissive. He was sure, and i am sure. I have learned to trust, and what it means when i say, You are my priority Sir, my aim is to please You...i am owned only and totally by my Master. So, i believe i am an easier submissve, although there are days Master would dispute that statement. Is being an "easy or easier" submissive less challenging, or more boring, making it a not such a good thing? I don't know.

Has my submission to Master becom easier? Yes, in some things. There are areas i am still struggling to let go in. But i do also know what it feels like to think...i would do anything He asked....and it is such an awesome feeling. Master once told me that when He saw my submission becoming too easy, it would be time to "raise the bar". I can understand that....being routine, leads to boring, and the specialness might diminish. I can also see where He gets a greater enjoyment seeing me struggle, and finally succeed. He has helped me attain goals i never thought possible.

My point in all this. I don't think i have one...just sharing some thoughts on a cold, snowy Boston night.

stay warm....abby

2 comments:

  1. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    Learning to "let go and trust" is always difficult.....but the feelings of freedom and peace that follow are worth all the pain.
    HSxx

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  2. well hi neighbor! i guess i didn't realize we were close in proximity (i'm just outside of Worcester)

    and it has been halla cold here.

    and snow. Yeah. nuff said.

    submission came to me late in life, and being submissive fills me. i haven't hesitated overmuch at anything i've been tasked to...but i don't live the life 24/7 either.

    my overall feeling is if i'm not going to serve Him submissively, then why attempt this lifestyle to begin with?

    and really? i love rules!! i love not having to be in charge of one facet of my life.

    nilla

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