Tuesday, December 14, 2010

memories.....8 years ago

Sooo cold....and soo much snow! But my memories are keeping me warm tonight. Eight years ago today, Master and i met. I was sooo nervous, meeting someone i had met over the internet, and talked to on the phone to discuss "spanking"...was this really me? That man that i met, instantly made me feel at ease..that and the giant sized happy hour beer! Mostly what i remember is thinking..he uses the word spanking out loud in almost every sentence...and the sound of his voice..it pulled me in...and as the quote goes..he had me at "hello".

For the next 2 years he introduced me to the world of spanking. He seemed to know instinctively when to take it very slowly and when to push me a bit. He introduced me to all the toys in his giant toy bag, to the joys of bondage and blindfolds, and even trained me to call him "Sir". Slowly, he took this "newbie" and opened up a whole new world to her.

After about two years the word "submission" started to enter our discussions. I was a take charge, be in control person...yes getting spanked was submissive in nature, but..... Once again he knew me better than i knew myself. One memorable afternoon in June, i "officially" became his...he was my Master....he owned all of me. I have learned a lot about being submissive in the ensuing years, Master is a good and patient teacher.

So, this is a thank You note to the man i now call Master. This is not a complete list, he has helped me to grow and change in ways i never imagined possible. He claims he has not changed me, he has simply allowed the hidden "me" to emerge, maybe he just does not realize how much he has impacted my world.

Master thank You,
...for teaching me that being submissive is not about being weak or a doormat,
...for knowing when to insist i can reach a goal, and when to let me quietly come to that conclusion myself
...for accepting ALL of me, pushing me to improve areas i want to, but always accepting all parts of me as they are
...for helping me to look deep inside myself, to become more open, to tear down walls that i was sure were permanent
...for being a support for me, in hard times, even when we are in different states, You know how to get me to breathe and smile
...for making my fantasies come to life...even the ones i did not know i had!
...for those times, especially in the beginning, when You could have given up on me, and even i would not have blamed You, but You hung in there
...for proving to me that it is more than OK to reach out and to ask for help
...for making each year better than the one that came before, this past year being no exception to that
...for earning and being worthy of my trust and respect...i used to choke on the word sir, now Master is is a fitting title

This is, of course, an incomplete list.

Finally, thank-you Master, for making turning 50, the start of a new life for me....one i could not ever have imagined. I wasn't getting older, i was getting better...lucky me!


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