Wednesday, November 10, 2010

attitide adjustment

It's been a tough three days. My dad's condition is still day to day, i leave tomorrow until after Thanksgiving, i know it is where i need to be, but i am feeling guilty because i wish i did not have to go, i am usually all done my Christmas shopping and wrapping by now, and i have not all hit me at once Monday.

When i get over-whelmed, i tend to shut down, go within myself and withdraw. By Tuesday i was nearly in tears all day, and could not even blame it on PMS...happily left that behind a few years ago. I kept my communications with Master short, but i am sure He recoginized the signs.

By this morning Master had given me enough time to reach out, and He took charge. I admit i had pushed Him..a little...and He pushed back and let me know i was in trouble.
I also gained a pound at my weigh on Monday, which He had not forgotten about. I could not even explain what was wrong...i felt i had loss all control over everything. It is one thing to give up control to another, it is something totally different to feel that you are spinning and have no control over anything.

So my last spanking for a while, was not to be a fun one. We talked, He likes to remind me i should always be running toward Him, not away from Him. Then it was over His lap, for a way too short hand warm up. Then i felt the bristle side of the hair brush, i knew it was warning of what was to come. Soon, i felt the wooden side of that darn brush, it did not take me long to start "OUCHING" very loudly. Master often echoes my ouches, which is NOT funny.

Then my legs started kicking. It has been a while since i had a hard hairbrushing....hope it is a while before it happens again. Master would say here....that is totally up to me. He had me tucked in tightly and was spanking fast and hard. He finally stopped, only to tell me it was time for part 2...attitude adjustment. It was not a fun time, and the i am sorry , i will be better were shooting out of mouth. Finally, when i was very sore, and had a red hot bottom, it stopped. He pulled up my panties and sat me up.

He reminded me that i need to hang on my rules even more tightly when i am away, that i need to communicate daily and reach out to Him, that i am His, all the time, no matter where i am. He also said even when i feel my world is spinning out of control, there is one thing i do control, my submission to Him.

He then reached in to play with my nipples. I jumped a little, but He soon has me squirming. He then reached inside my panties, and i was panting and urging Him on. He says...why does He think that is a good time to have a conversation....He is divided between telling me i cannot cum for Him at all while i am gone, or i must cum every day. Which would i prefer...honestly something between the 2 extremes. He is still susing His hand and has me squirming...and says..what will it be, should i remove my hand or do you want permission to cum? Of course He has me where He wants me, and after another minute i am asking for permission to cum. He tells me i need to also ask for permission for every day i am gone before i get a yes. I could not, not ask, so i asked..for permission to cum then and every day that i am away. I am thankfully staying at my sister's while she is on a family vacation in Florida, so it will be me the dog and the 2 cats.

One of the extra things Master had me do this morning, was to tie a ribbon around my right wrist. When Master looked at it, i was told to keep it on while i am away. I asked if he met that same one, and He did. He will check when i get back to see how it looks. He also reminded me to stay clean shaven, not just to wait and shave on the day i return..which did happen last time. He threatened to check, by having me send Him a picture..yuck.

Then it was hugs and more hugs and time for good-byes. I have a 6 AM flight in the morning. I have a couple ideas for posts while i am away, i will see if i have the time and the energy.


  1. Good luck on obedience in distance. His pleasure is your obedience.

  2. Nice that he keeps you close to him...


  3. BMan....You sound just like Master...coule you two be reading the same book? thanks for reminding me...His pleasure is my obedience..a good mantra for the next couple of weeks

    beinggaisha..i am lucky that he finds ways to keep us close...He is there for me..always..