Monday, November 29, 2010

too long and too stressful....

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I returned home yesterday. I was house,dog,cat and grandson sitting for my sister, visiting dad every day, helping mom with Christmas shopping and other details, and missing Master.
Dad is having some really good days, and really bad days. I just got off the phone with my sister, today was a really bad one. It looks less and less like we will get him home again, even though that is all he wants. He has always been such a proud take care of everyone guy......
A week ago today, i came down with the worst flu bug known to man...or woman. I spent most of the nite on my sister's bathroom floor, needing to be as close to the toilet as possible....(trying not to TMI here...) The next day i had 0 energy, but still had to pack, see to the dog and cats, and move over to spend the night at mom's. Wednesday i somehow managed to get on the morning train, and get myself to Boston. My son and daughter in law had planned on celebrating Thanksgiving on Saturday, by then i was able to sit at the table, and taste a few things. I am much better than i was, but not nearly as good as i need to be...i have such a long list of to-dos!

Master and i reconnected this afternoon...it was mostly a time of hugs and cuddling and quiet chatting about the past 2 weeks. After that, there was a long, slow building hand spanking, with rub downs and massages...so relaxing..so what i needed! Hopefully in a couple more days i will be ready for a longer, more vigorous session. I have been strongly hinting that the flogger must be getting very dusty!

Stay warm...and hug a loved one..
abby

Monday, November 15, 2010

oops.....

My visit back to Maine has been much less stressful this time. My dad is in rehab, and looks good. The prognosis is still day to day, but everyone is very hopeful that he will make it back home. I am house sitting for my sister, that includes dog and cat sitting. I am not a big pet person..my sister's family is...and these animals are not used to being ignored.

"Your obedience is His Pleasure", thank you BMan for those words. I have repeated them many times since i have been here. Master always looks for ways to make my time away easier and to keep me 'on track'. One of the first expectations Master introduced me to, was to be clean shaven for Him. I usually pass "inspections", as it has become part of my morning shower routine.

Last time i was away, i let a few rules slip. Clean shaven was one, it seemed I was always in a rush mornings and did not take the time. I shaved my first morning back. Master figured that out quickly. This time He told me He expected me to stay clean shaven, and He would check by having me send a picture. I was surprised, but did not think it would be a problem.

I packed my shaving necessities, but have not retrieved them from the case to the shower, yet. Early this morning i received a text..check time..He wanted a picture. I thought about ignoring it...for about 2 seconds. For a minute i thought about trying to get it done quickly. But i knew, He expected a reply, and i have learned it is best not too compound His displeasure.

It took me at about 5 tries to get a decent picture...good thing the dog and cat cannot talk! Sent it and quickly came the reply..not shaven, bad girl. I sent, Sorry Sir, i will remember tomorrow. That did not fly. He replied, you will not leave the house til i get a picture I apporove of. I gathered my things, shaved and sent a picture. Better..was the reply. I sent an i am sorry it will not happen again, Sir, text...to which He replied...we will be 'talking' about this. Anyone out there old enough to remember the yellow page ad...let your fingers do the walking? 'Talking' is Master's way of saying, my paddle will do the talking!

We chatted this noon, and when i said, You had never asked for a picture before as an excuse..He laughed and said i sounded like one of those students i often told Him about...We were soon laughing, and i was feeling better...Master never carries a grudge, and this is forgotten, until it time for 'talking'.

Your obedience is His pleasure....repeat as needed!
abby

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

attitide adjustment

It's been a tough three days. My dad's condition is still day to day, i leave tomorrow until after Thanksgiving, i know it is where i need to be, but i am feeling guilty because i wish i did not have to go, i am usually all done my Christmas shopping and wrapping by now, and i have not started...it all hit me at once Monday.

When i get over-whelmed, i tend to shut down, go within myself and withdraw. By Tuesday i was nearly in tears all day, and could not even blame it on PMS...happily left that behind a few years ago. I kept my communications with Master short, but i am sure He recoginized the signs.

By this morning Master had given me enough time to reach out, and He took charge. I admit i had pushed Him..a little...and He pushed back and let me know i was in trouble.
I also gained a pound at my weigh on Monday, which He had not forgotten about. I could not even explain what was wrong...i felt i had loss all control over everything. It is one thing to give up control to another, it is something totally different to feel that you are spinning and have no control over anything.

So my last spanking for a while, was not to be a fun one. We talked, He likes to remind me i should always be running toward Him, not away from Him. Then it was over His lap, for a way too short hand warm up. Then i felt the bristle side of the hair brush, i knew it was warning of what was to come. Soon, i felt the wooden side of that darn brush, it did not take me long to start "OUCHING" very loudly. Master often echoes my ouches, which is NOT funny.

Then my legs started kicking. It has been a while since i had a hard hairbrushing....hope it is a while before it happens again. Master would say here....that is totally up to me. He had me tucked in tightly and was spanking fast and hard. He finally stopped, only to tell me it was time for part 2...attitude adjustment. It was not a fun time, and the i am sorry , i will be better were shooting out of mouth. Finally, when i was very sore, and had a red hot bottom, it stopped. He pulled up my panties and sat me up.

He reminded me that i need to hang on my rules even more tightly when i am away, that i need to communicate daily and reach out to Him, that i am His, all the time, no matter where i am. He also said even when i feel my world is spinning out of control, there is one thing i do control, my submission to Him.

He then reached in to play with my nipples. I jumped a little, but He soon has me squirming. He then reached inside my panties, and i was panting and urging Him on. He says...why does He think that is a good time to have a conversation....He is divided between telling me i cannot cum for Him at all while i am gone, or i must cum every day. Which would i prefer...honestly something between the 2 extremes. He is still susing His hand and has me squirming...and says..what will it be, should i remove my hand or do you want permission to cum? Of course He has me where He wants me, and after another minute i am asking for permission to cum. He tells me i need to also ask for permission for every day i am gone before i get a yes. I could not, not ask, so i asked..for permission to cum then and every day that i am away. I am thankfully staying at my sister's while she is on a family vacation in Florida, so it will be me the dog and the 2 cats.

One of the extra things Master had me do this morning, was to tie a ribbon around my right wrist. When Master looked at it, i was told to keep it on while i am away. I asked if he met that same one, and He did. He will check when i get back to see how it looks. He also reminded me to stay clean shaven, not just to wait and shave on the day i return..which did happen last time. He threatened to check, by having me send Him a picture..yuck.

Then it was hugs and more hugs and time for good-byes. I have a 6 AM flight in the morning. I have a couple ideas for posts while i am away, i will see if i have the time and the energy.
abby

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Can He read my mind??

One of the things that first amazed me about Master was how well he seemed to get to know me...really know me...very quickly. At times it seemed like he knew how to create a mind link. We would be talking and He would say..I know what you were thinking when i sent that text...and He did know! Or i would think i wish He would....and He would. I found it amazing, reassuring, and somewhat scary.

It happened again this morning. I am trying to get organized to leave to help out with my mom and dad. My sister has been carrying the load, and she has had a family vacation planned for the next 2 weeks for months. She needs it and deserves it. So i will be leaving this Thursday for another couple of weeks. I know it is where i belong and have to be right now, but it seems i am away more than i have been here...

This morning i was feeling guilty about going....guilty about not going...one of those no win times. Master understands that i need to go, and is very suportive. This morning i needed to "feel" His dominance more than i usually do. I will admit, i am not good at expressing my needs and desires....getting a little better at it...but it is still difficult.

I sent Master my good morning text, and asked Him for permission for my plans for today.....some shopping, and a late lunch and going to a show with some friends. I was waiting His "yes" reply...i rarely get a "no"...when the text came. It was a yes with added instructions. This was to be a no panty day. He occasionally will order a no panty day , and i sometimes choose a no panty day as my task for the day. It is a good continual reminder that i have a Master.

But He also added...tie a ribbon around your right ankle. Now this was a new request, and my reaction to the unexpected is usually...what??? But after my initial...what...i realized, i was just wishing and needing to feel His dominance more now...and that is what i just got.
How did He know?

Then i realized something else. Yesterday i was at a dollar store, buying some wrapping paper...they have some great kids paper. As i was looking over the paper i noticed ribbon. I decided i needed ribbon also, so bought several colors...just in case i needed it. I did not tell Master about my purchase.

This morning out of the blue...i am told to tie a ribbon on my ankle?? It is just a coincidence...right??
He cannot read my mind or somehow know what i bought....right??
abby

Friday, November 5, 2010

spanking and......fisting...

Yesterday morning master asked how my "tush" was...and i replied i could still feel the welts and it was still sore. His reply did not surprise me....GREAT! My bottom usually recovers quickly, and He is quite pleased when there is evidence of His 'handiwork' the day after. Master had a long day at work yesterday, so my bottom got one more day to recover.

Today my bottom was tender, and still showed some signs of Wednesday's spanking....which Master delighted in finding and massaging. We started with a long hand spanking, which soon was turning the tenderness into a burn. Just as i was relaxing into the spanking, Master stopped and asked me if i remembered what He had promised me before i left a few weeks ago.

I replied Yes, Sir. He had promised that if i was good when i was away i would return to a fisting.

Fisting is something that i never knew existed until i read about it in one of my early computer searches, and i thought, who would want to do that...and how would you do that? Later, as i started to read more blogs, it seemed that the submissives/slaves who were fisted....found it to be enjoyable. So i thought, must be something to it,,,but not for me.

Fisting is not something that Master and i do often. The first time, i was not even sure what He was doing until i could feel Him inside me. For me, fisting has to start slowly, with a patient partner, and i need to be already very aroused.

Today , when i answered Yes, Sir, i also added, i don't think it will work today. It's been a while since the last time, i have spent more time being stressed than aroused or even feeling "sexy". His reply was....you just need to relax. I had several answers on the tip of my tongue, but settled on a Yes Sir. I was wrong...it did work...and that feeling of being connected with His hand inside me, is at the same time..extremely submissve and an overload of sensations. I don't know how many time i came, but i was "jello" when He withdrew His hand.

Tonight i am no longer jello, but i cannot stop thinking about Master, and how filled i am by being His submissive. Filled physically and emotionally, filled in ways i never thought possible. He has opened my body and my heart. His last words to me today were...Your submission pleases me...it is high praise...and i could not think of a finer complement. abby

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Thank You....and home finally!

So, my 10 days of being away turned into 26 days away.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and good wishes. My dad had 2 major heart attacks and a couple of smaller ones, and it seemed we would have one good..or hopeful day...followed by 2 bad ones. Tests showed 3 blocked arteries, heart damage and scarring, and frequent episodes of very, very fast heartbeat. Because of all those problems, nothing can be done surgically. He stabilized enough to be moved to a rehab center....where he is much happier and gaining some strength back. He is on meds to control the rapid heartbeat, but they are not 100% effective. He has visited with all of his children, 10 grandchildren , and 3 great-grand children, he is alert, and at peace with his fate. Our hope is that he gets to return home.

Master, even at a distance, knows how to help me through the toughest of days. He insisted i call, even when i did not want to talk to anyone, and He knew what to say to calm me and get me breathing again...how lucky am i??

I got back home yesterday, and unfortunately am returning in a week, for 2 more weeks. My sister is going on a family vacation that she planned months ago, and i need to be there for my mom. Real life....

Master and i finally re-united this afternoon. He promised i would come home to lots of hugs, so that was the first "activity" planned. Long, big squeezing, delicious hugs. A little bit of chat, and then kneeling time. The time when everything and everyone else disappears, and it is just us...and i remember that i am His, that He is my Master and that i belong only and wholly to Him.

Then a long, wonderful hand spanking. Since it has been almost a month, He started off slowly and lightly. I was a little worried that even a hand spanking would be too much, but i was soon in the rhythm with His hand, and wanting more and more. In between sets, rubbing and touching, and a discussion about the fact that i did not ask for a single permission while i was away...i just was not interested. He soon had me intersted...lol...but was not ready to hand out any permissions, yet.

Next He wanted me leaning over the back of a chair...high up, so my feet are off the ground. I mentioned that i did not like that position....He likes that it makes me feel more vulnerable. Legs far apart, and head almost on the seat of the chair, He starts in with a small cane, alternating cane, rubbing, hand...for a few sets. He then moves in between my legs for a wonderful "bottom" massage...more touching,,,,noting that i was quite wet and swollen...DUH!

He then tells me to stay over the chair, but i can move so that my feet are touching the floor, but my legs must stay apart. "Twelve more...harder ones...with the cane", i hear...i take a deep breath and am deterimined to hold that position for Him...both because i want to make Him proud...and also because i don't want Him starting over. He is striking all over my bottom...and they are much harder, and i do stay in place.

My reward is more touching and rubbing, and i am soon begging for permission....and i get...a few...i finally say enough, no more...but am reminded...He decides when i have had enough...He is in charge of my pleasure, so i am soon panting through a couple more orgasms....such a chore..lol.

I had to be reminded a few times, to add "Sir" to my answers, during a session Master expects me to use the Sir. I was also reminded that my submission to Him is back in full swing, and all rules and expectations are to be met. I would not want it any other way.

As we were leaving Master said, He hopes to get a couple more spankings in this week. I stopped and said...this week? His reply was...we have some catching up to do. So there may be more posts this week!