Sunday, September 26, 2010

is it fair??

The word "fair" has been bouncing around in my head lately. Such a simple word, but how does one define fair?
Seems to be one of those words where the definition depends on the user.

Some might say that fair means equal. Does that mean that a power exchange relationship is never fair, because it cerainly is not equal. Does the word fair even belong in such a relationship? Most of the people that I associate with every day..if they knew the ins and outs of my relationship with Master...would say , "How unfair!"

Strangely, i guess, i have never considered Him to be unfair. When i am punished i know why, and i can always ask to talk about the punishment ahead of time. It rarely changes anything, but i feel better for having talked it out with Him. He is generous with permissions as long as i ask politely and respectfully. In fact i am usually very surprised when i hear a no to my request.

From my past experiences, and from what i have observed, i think that "fairness" is the root cause of many arguments.
"It's not fair!....HE/she is not being fair!" Master and i have not had a screaming, foot stomping argument...i can only imagine His reaction to that! But i think part of the reason is because fair does not enter into our equation.

I trust Him, i respect Him, i know He wants me to be the best me i can be. He knows how to calm me, make me feel secure, He can see right through me. He has helped me to find "myself", to accept "me". He has made fantasies happen, and even gone beyond what i could have imagined.

So who needs fair????????????????



  1. I couldn't agree more. I don't want "fair" my Daddy knows me better than I know myself and in the course of one year He has brought me farther in my growth and opened me up more than anyone else in my life could have ever done.

    I love our life and our dynamic. It may sound strange to say, but I don't want to be equal. I want things exactly the way they are. He leads, I follow, He orders, I obey... perfect. :)

    great post abby!

  2. I don't think that 'fair' and 'equal' are the same thing.

    Authority may not be 'equal', but the needs of each person in the relationship is (or should be) equally important.

    And that is what is 'fair' and just. :) That both parties get what they need out of the relationship.


  3. prima....we are on the saem wave length! abby

    s.....very well said. I have always beleived that both parties must get what they need from a relationship...realizing that need and want are not the same thing. abby