Tuesday, August 31, 2010

punishment.....

I missed the chance to post on the Thursday Round Table over at American Spanking Society. Can spanking be an effective punishment for someone who enjoys spanking? As i am sitting here on a sore, stripped bottom, my answer is YES!
Punishment is soo different than play. There is no hand warm-up, there is a scolding, Master is using something made of wood, there is no nice touching and there is the knowledge that i have disappointed Him. Punishment is not something i purposely "brat" for, if i feel the need to play hard, Master is glad to fill that need.

I have had a rough week on the diet front. Every now and then i start to feel...i don't want to do this anymore, i just want to eat whatever, whenever. My deal with Master is once i set a goal, i reach that goal. Once i have reached that goal, i can stay there as long as i want...but i have to maintain, no more than 2 pounds above that number. I recognize that as a good thing, nothing is more discouraging than gaining back what you worked so hard to lose, and often gaining more back..i have been that route. Right now i am working on a 10 pound goal, that i chose to pursue. It is not going well.

I weigh in on Friday's and Monday's...we tried just on Friday's, but that was like a green eating light for the weekend. Last Friday i gained 1 pound. Master was not pleased, but decided He would let me try to turn things around over the weekend. (He sometimes gives me just enough rope to hang myself.) He rarely grants me a reprieve, so i breathe a sigh of relief.

I did not take advantage of His gift. I did not wii, nor walk, and i did indulge..but just a little. Turned out it was a little bit too much. My Monday report was a gain..of less than a pound..but a gain. He was not pleased.
He said we would "discuss" it Tuesday or Wednesday. When we talked this morning, He said Wednesday, i was pleased since i had dinner plans with a group of teacher friends for this evening.

Late this afternoon, i get a call from Master, He decided we were going to meet before i went to dinner, which meant in about 5 minutes. I was not in punishment "mode", but i said yes Sir.

Once we were together, He opened the door to the basement. I gulped,....the basement is used when Master is very unhappy...being down there has no good memories. I looked at Him, He pointed, i went down the steps. I then had to answer why we were in the basement...because i had 2 bad reports in a row.

He starts with the scolding...He is an expert scolder. When i was still teaching, i used to wish i could invite him to my room when i had detention duty. Down came the pants and panties and i was leaning over the washing machine. He had what looked like a cane, with no hook, but very "swishy".

He spanks in sets, this was sets of 6, switching sides after each 6. It only took one set, before i was OUCHING loudly and stuggling to stay in place. My hands did let go, and was told to put them back and if i let go again, he began tapping my thighs, He would change His target. As much as my bottom was hurting, i knew that the OUCH factor would be much greater on my thighs, so i concentrated on hanging on to that edge.

After more scolding, He asked if i was ready for the last six. I love/hate that question...it means the end is near, but it also means these will be the hardest strokes. I said i am never ready, but go ahead. Then i was told to count and to thank Him after each stroke, and if He did not think i was being sincere in my thanks, that stroke would not count. (I have been known to be called the queen of sarcasm). Counting and having to say something after each stroke, is not something i look forward to. It takes concentration, and makes me focus on each stroke, plus you know that as soon as you have said, "Thank You Sir", sincerely, it is like saying..go ahead spank me again. I got through the six, and we were done. NO warm up, NO touching, NO nice rubbing, but yes pain and punishment.

He grinned as He told me to enjoy my dinner out, and was sure He would be with me in spirit, as i sat on my sore bottom. He was, i had a wonderful dinner, fun with my friends, and brought half of my dinner home to have tomorrow, and passed on the alcohol and dessert. Tomorrow it is back to my eating and exercising routine....basement visits are no fun.

abby

Sunday, August 29, 2010

a look back...who is more stubborn??

This is another look back to my journey with Master. This session took place before He was my Master, and had been spanking me for about 7/8 months. We were meeting every few weeks. I had only a couple rules at this point, one being to refer to Him as Sir while He was spanking me..which i was doing pretty well at,,,,and one that i saw no point to..having to ask for permission to pull up my pants and panties after He was done spanking me.

We had just finished a fairly long session, using a variety of His toys. My bottom was nicely tingling and red.
I stood up, and started to put on my pants and panties. He said, you are forgetting something. I looked around and said, no, i have everything and finished with the clothing.
(After all, it was MY clothing, i was not going to go around bare assed all day, and He was done!)

"Ask", was all He said...i replied,.. too late they are on..(i know ..i look back now in wonder at what was i thinking!) Before i could take a breath i was back over the bed, and they were no longer on. His hand was spanking quickly and furiously. He let me up, and i looked Him in the eye and reached for the panties once again. Back over the bed i went for a repeat.

He stood me back up gave me the "one eyebrow" look, which i ignored as i reached for the panties. (Trust me i am not usually such a slow learner) He said,...it's your bottom..., to which i foolishly replied..."guess this is where we find out who is more stubborn!" Before i took another breath i was over the bed, He somehow had a paddle in His hand, and was using it on an already very sore bottom. "Let me know when you have decided who is more stubborn", He said.

Now i may be foolish, but am not stupid, i decided quickly that He was indeed more stubborn than i was. After i reassured Him that He was indeed more stubborn, i started to get up. He held me down and said ask to get up. I hesitated, which started the paddling again! I asked, to be told, "ask nicely". So i added a couple of peases, and asked again as nicely as i knew how. I was able to get up, look over at Master, and say, "May i please put my panties and pants back on?" With a glint in His eye and smile on His face He said..certainly.
Looking back, it seems like such a small thing to ask me to do. I still ask every time, only without prompting.
I learned on that day, that i had been demoted to second most subborn person that i knew.

abby

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A nice welcome back!

I am back from 5 days of making wonderful memories. My 2 grand-daughters are growing up tooo fast, they are such fun!

Just before noon today i got a text from Master..." want to help me get some wood?" Now, knowing Master, that could mean a few things. My brain quickly thought...switches, pick out a paddle, or maybe Master is working on a new project. I replied with a ...hmm, yes? He chuckled and told me to meet Him at Home Depot...ahh a new project. He is very good with His hands..in several ways.

After we got the wood, loaded it in the van, and delivered it, He then ordered me to get naked and kneeling please. I was surprised, figuring this was just a lunch time errand. He repeated the order, and i quickly replied, Yes Sir!

I so needed to be naked and kneeling, after being away from His touch for the last 5 days. For me, being naked and kneeling is a deep place of submission, nothing else exists.
I know and feel deeply that i am with my Master and i belong wholly to Him. Master uses my kneeling time to narrow my focus, He takes control of my body, claiming all of it, hair, face, neck, breast, torso, bottom, legs...He leaves His touch on all of it.

Then it was over His knee for a hand warm-up. Master's hand is my favorite thing to be spanked with..although it can at times feel like a small paddle! This warm-up was speckled with periods of rubbing and touching. At one point Master asked if i was napping...no, just thoroughly enjoying!

Next, i was told to bend over, hands on the sofa, bottom up, and legs apart. He remarked it had been a while since i had had a good strapping. I think He was doing sets of 20, i lose count easily. After each set, there was rubbing and touching to see if i was letting the sting travel to my pleasure spot. Each time He touched i was wetter, and more ready. I was soon moaning with need as soon as He stopped the strapping and His hand started to wander.

Just when i was thinking, it is time for me to get a permission, i was told to move to the end of the sofa, and bend over, bottom high. I do not like having my feet not touch the floor, add to that keeping my legs open and apart, that position requires concentration and determination. These sets were much harder, but i was soon in my "leather zone". Of course that is when i suddenly feel what seems like a small switch.
The sting and burn quickly built up...Master asked about the sensation...not nearly as nice as the strap!

Master was kind and after only one set He reached to "test" how ready i was to cum for Him. It did not take much "persuading" before i was pleading for a Yes..cum for me. I used to wonder what all the fuss over orgasms was..now..wow... i no longer wonder, i know..

Then some more kneeling time, and lunch time was really over. Thank You Master, for a wonderful surprise today, and the best lunch a girl could ask for!

abby

Friday, August 20, 2010

family time...and a "reminder"

This was a good report day..i lost 1 pound! It is not much, but enough to keep Master happy..and a happy Master...
Our meeting this afternoon, was soooo much nicer that the one on Tuesday. Master gave me what He calls a "reminder" spanking..to remind me to stay on course! A nice hand warm-up, then on to one of His smaller paddles....the best part of a reminder..the rubbing away of the sting, between "sets"!

As often happens, that rubbing, leads to heat elsewhere..Master often encourages me to try to cum while He is paddling me..and much to my surprise it has happened a few times! Who knew....pain and pleasure could be sooo closely linked..i know all of you out there have known that for a while!

This afternoon, Master helped me go over that edge...a few times. I could use reminders of that more often!

The spanking was also a reminder to take with me. I am leaving for Boston early in the morning. My youngest grand-daughter is turning 1! Her cousin, my first grand-daughter is 28 months! We are all coming together for 5 wonderful days. Since we live in 3 different states, that does not happen often enough for this grandma!

For the next 5 days i will be enjoying cuddles, playing dress-up, tea parties, laughs, the zoo, and the making of wonderful memories! Lucky me!!! Hope you all are having half as much fun!
abby

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

the 2 pound "discussion"

Master and i had our little discussion this afternoon. Have i ever told you how much i love ice cream..always have..it is soo yummy! Our "talk" began like this..

M...how did you manage to gain 2 pounds over the weekend?

me...well no wii or walking..i splurged on some ice cream..real ice cream..it was soooo good!

M...how many times have you had ice cream since Friday?

me...(utoh)...hmmm...4 times..Sir

M...4? over a 3 day weekend..??

me..well.....i had some last nite...(why is honesty the best policy?)

M..after a plus 2 pound weigh-in you ate more ice cream?

me..well..i figured if i finished the carton the temptation would be gone (i know you all agree with my train of thought!)

M...so now i have to make sure that the next time you think of eating ice cream...you think back to today and decide it is not worth it..

me...gulp...

At least it was over his lap, and i did get a short warm up.
Then the ..i think it is mahagony..paddle, with the holes in it..at least it is not a big paddle. He started slowly, making each hit harder,,and harder. I used to try to count how many, but i am usually too busy thinking breathe, stay in place, breathe, to count much. It only takes about 5 minutes for me to get to the ..i am sorry, Sir. His reply is sorry is good, but we are not finished.
He starts in much faster...i hate faster, no time to process. Then i make a big mistake...i say..ok, You have made your point! I decide when my point is made, is the reply..and He shows me that He can make a stronger one.
Staying in place is becoming very difficult, and we are at the point where nothing matters but my bottom and how it is burning and stinging..OUCH!
Finally He stops..maybe around 15 minutes...my perceptions are somewhat limited by now. I am given permission to sit up, bare bottomed, i get a hug or two..then the chat continues.
M..since you think finishing off the carton is a way of avoiding temptation, I have a better way. No more ice cream in the house.
me..none?..what about the light, or double churned or sugar free or the sinlge portions one? (life without ice cream..is unimaginable)
M..none..( i guess Master has a better imagination than i do). And, you need my explicit permission to go out and have ice cream or to have ice cream at a party or any place.
me..hmm this weekend is Maya's first birthday (my granddaughter)
M .. you are not allowed any ice cream..dont waste a text asking.
me..Yes Sir..(pouting)
M..lol..pouting?? will not help..remember when you gave yourself to me..it was all of you..I am in charge of You..You are mine..I am in charge..
me..Yes Sir, good bye ice cream...
M..also, my plan is that we will meet again this Friday to remind you of what happens when you eat ice cream and gain 2 pounds. I want to be sure you remember when you are away.
me..(silence)...then... yes Sir.
i am still trying to figure out life without ice cream..lol..hopefully when i reach my new goal...we can re-negotiate..i am sure all of you out there would agree with me!
More important than ice cream, is the fact that as i sit here, with a tender, somewhat still throbbing bottom, i know that all is right in my world. I am His..He is in charge...all is right once again.
abby

Monday, August 16, 2010

My spanking diet

Before Master and i entered into a D/s relationship, He was "helping" me to master the problem of losing weight. Can spanking help a person lose weight? In my case the answer is yes. Unfortunately spanking alone does not take weight off..that would be too good, wouldn't it?

So the person doing the losing must really want to..bottom line is i had to say no to the ice cream and yes to the walking and the wii. In my case i also needed someone who was more stubborn that i was...someone who would not let me quit. I had loss weight before, up to 35 pounds, and then gave up, and gained that and more back. One thing i learned quickly, making a deal with Master is like signing in blood and dealing with the devil...He does not give up until a goal is reached.

I get to decide on the goal. My first goal was 50 pounds..my oldest daughter was getting married, and i had 1 year. It took close to 11 months, but i did it!!!!! It was not a road without detours, and pot holes..and some serious spankings,,,but i did it!

I then took a break..gaining a little of it back, and losing it again. Why is it so much harder the second time around? The deal with Master is once i reach the goal i can stay put, but not gain. Which is reassuring, and has allowed me to want to lose more, since i know it is staying off this time.

I have loss 10 more since the original 50, stayed there for a while, and am now working on 10 more. The rules have changed along the way, but we seem to have a system that works for us.

I weigh in twice a week. We started off with 1 weigh-in a week, on Fridays, but that often lead to splurges on the weekend, so i now weigh-in and report and Friday and Monday. Even when i am maintaining these weigh-ins continue. Since i am now trying to lose, i cannot gain. (If i go away with friends or to visit family, i get a little bit of "ice cream" space..a couple pounds.)

I keep a food diary, and am committed to either walking or using the wii at least 5 times a week. Master keeps reminding me it is a life style change, not a temporary change..so get used to it!

Today i reported i had gained close to 2 pounds over the weekend..He was not pleased. We will be "discussing" it further soon. You all know what that really means. Probably something made of wood will be involved. I have been really good lately which i reminded Him of this morning. He agreed, and said He expects it all the time...and He knows me, if He allows this, i will see it as a possible pattern.

I hate the waiting, and i hate having to report a gain, He is always so disappointed. I am going away this weekend, so i need to get my head in a good place...i am sure that will happen tomorrow or the day after..i will let you know what happens.

abby

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Protocalls...etc...part 2

August 15 2010..

Where do rituals, rules and exspectations fit into my D/s relationship? I left out the protocalls category, since i feel that we are not that formal, it is usually more relaxed and fun. When we first started on this journey, Master said He did not want to micromanage me. I think i was a little disappointed, at first, but have come to appreciate that approach.

Rituals...i have a hard time defining ritual as opposed to a rule. One ritiual is our sessions start with me kneeling at His feet, hands behind my back, listening to His voice. His voice was one of the first things that drew me to Him, and the sound of it still captivates me. I also must ask to break position when a spanking or session is done, and to get dressed. He expects me to use the word Sir during a spanking or session when answering a question..hate answering questions then!

Rules....i am expected to ask for permission before i cum..either with or without Him. That was one of the first rules. One of the more recent rules, is that i must ask for permission before i go someplace in my car. It sounds more restrictive than i at first worried about, but He is very good at answering text messages quickly..usually. Also with both of these rules, i rarely get a no..in fact, i always expect a yes. I had been in the habit of asking for a general permission..may i go run errands for example..but recently i have been intructed that my question must be for a specific location and if i ask for a place, and do not go there, He expects a text with that information.

I send an email report every evening. It started out as a food diary, when i first started dieting. It also includes, if i used the wii, what task i did for Him, ( He expects one task a day), if i have taken my meds, and anythinge else i might want to add. I also call or text every morning. I send in a weigh in report every Monday and Friday...60 pounds and counting!!

Expectations...i am allowed to keep my title of "Queen of Sarcasm" except when i am with Him. He expects respect and obedience to any requests. Of course honesty and we are working on the openness aspect. He expects me to stay focused and act like i am His.

Hmm, i think that is about it. If i have forgotten anything improtant i will hear about it, and will post and addendum!

abby

Friday, August 13, 2010

Protocalls ? Rituals? Rules? Expectations? part 1

* The last time i asked for help Bonnie came to my rescue..Thank you! So I am trying again...I know one should provide a link when referring to another blog, but how does one do that? Also I would like to thank everyone who has added my link to their blog list..how do I start a blog list??

I have been thinking about writing on this topic for a few days..yes I do tend to overthink things! I have questions, to which the only answer might be, the terms mean whatever you want them to mean. This post will address that, and my next post will look at some of the rituals or rules or protocalls and Master and i practice..I am not sure what to call them!

Protocalls..a tough word! When i think of protocalls i think of what a person should say or do when meeting a president or the pope....for example, kissing the pope's ring. A special occasion that requires a special response.

Are protocalls and rituals the same thing? Protocall seems more formal of a word than ritual. Rituals seem to me to be the more every day things that a person is asked to do. We are surrounnded by rituals, at holidays, family reunions, etc. How is a ritual different than a protocall, or is it different?

Rules,,now we all know about rules in our every day lives, but how do rules differ from rituals in the spanking or BDSM community. Is it a ritual or a rule, if one is expected to be kneeling for their Master at the start of a session, or ask for permission to enter a room, or kiss a paddle after a spanking?

Expectations, we all have expectations, right there with our hopes and dreams. I suspect the difference between expectations and rules is that rules have consequences, expectations have hopes and dreams.

As you can see I am confused. I am not at all sure which of these categories fit what happens between Master and i. That will be my next post. For now, I would like to ask...can anyone define these for me? Share with me how they fit into your power exchange, if they fit at all? Or are they just like the labels ( top, bottom, Master, submissive, owner, etc...)... Is the definition up to the user...?

abby..who is once again confused...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

a hot and steamy August afternoon....

So far it has been a good week here...yesterday i got to indulge in one of my vices....and it had nothing to do with Master, except for getting His permission.
I spent a fun day at one of the nearby casinos, with a good friend. We laughed, we had fun, she won !! , i loss...boo....but it was great fun.

Today is one of those hot and steamy August days, that make me long for fall. It has been one unusually hot summer here, and although i don't love the snow, this heat is doing me in. What? You thought my title was not weather related...silly me!

This was maintenance afternoon..and then some. Master managed some extra time, so we also had a "play" session. I have been quite good lately, and reaping those rewards is wonderful! As with all sessions, i start by kneeling for Him, while He re-claims, relaxes and soothes me, with His wonderful hands. I love His hands.

Then on to a wonderful hand warm-up, throw in a little rubbing, and i am so relaxed. Since this was part maintenance, the little wooden paddle was next. When it follows a nice warm-up, it is a good way for me to start to just let go. I realize the paddling is done, as i hear His belt being removed..now there is a sound that sends shivers.

Just as i was getting used to the beat and the sting on my bottom, i felt a thud on my back...not expecting it, i voiced my surprise. After a reminder that all of me is fair game, i settled in. We then tested the belt as a sinlgle layer or doubled up. I enjoyed the single layer on my bottom, but liked the double up sensation better on my back...more thud, less sting, maybe. Neither one gets my vote on my thighs!

Then i heard the words i still am not used to, turn over, equal treatment on the front. When i am on my back i feel less open, more hidden, safer maybe. I am better about going over and exposing my front, but it still takes a couple deep breaths. Using just the tip of the belt, on my breast..there are soo sensitive..and on my pussy. I was starting to squirm, and moan, when he switched to His hand. I still don't understand the pain/pleasure relationship that happens, but there is no denying it.

I am soon asking for permission to cum, Master says convince me. I am not a beggar by nature, but when a girl needs a permission, she will resort to most any means. Master seems to know, just when to say, "cum for me". Three or maybe four commands to cum later, i am begging, please no more. I am spent, sweaty, and sooo sated. Thank You Master!

After some after care, it is time to ask for permission to get up and get dressed. Hot, steamy, sweaty August afternoons, do have a certain appeal after all!

abby

Friday, August 6, 2010

A look back...my introduction to the cane

August 6, 2010

* These "look back" posts are a chronological look back to when Master and i first met, and He was my "top" or spanker. These first few happened about 8 eight years ago. The reason i still recall them so clearly is because the first rule Master gave me was i had to send Him "feedback" on all our sessions. My early feedbacks were all about what i liked and disliked, how i felt the first time that i was tied or blindfolded, etc. They evolved into a way of me sharing feelings, since i find writing them easier than speaking them. And now to this blog.

I had been "introduced" to Master's toy bag. He informed me that our next session would be all about the cane. This time He would start on a blank palette..sometimes He can be so poetic. I assumed that meant no other toys first.
Every time i thought of that cane, the butterflies went wild! Master kept reminding me that all implements can be enjoyed...or not..depending on the user.

Finally the day was here. He gave me a wonderful hand warm-up....thank goodness the palette was not going to be totally blank! Then He surprised me by telling me to go pick up the pencil on a nearby table and write down how many strokes i wanted.
Talk about being confused...i had no idea what number to choose. I had read lots of stories about naughty girls getting caned, and they did not inspire me to a large number! At the same time, i did not want to appear to be a total wimp!

I knew that 12 seemed to be a number that appeared in many of the stories, but that seemd like a lot. After Master urged me on, i finally decided on 10..a double digit number, but less than 12. I was to kneel on the seat of a chair, bend over the back of the chair..and stay in position.

Master went to see the number i had chosen..."What only 10?....If you chose a higher number we could start off lighter...trust Me!

He gave them to me in sets of 3, each set a little harder, and with lots of encouragement! One more i thought, and this has not been so bad. Well that last one, caused me to move up and off the chair! That was the cane i had read about!
Master then announced that since i did not stay in place i will get 3 more. I slowly got back in position, and this time was a little more ready for the harder strokes. He gave me three more, and gave me permission to get off the chair and was ready with a big hug! Yes it had been only 13,,but i had done it!

Master then told me to sit in the chair, while He went in the next room for something. Well i could not resist, i stood to feel the welts, they were barely there, but i felt them. When Master returned, He asked if i had stayed seated. I replied i am sitting now. He reapeted His question..(smell a set-up? ) I admitted to standing to feel my bottom and was immediately pulled over His lap for a hand spanking. A spanking, over a caning, sure is intensified! He considered it my first lesson in obedience!

Enjoy the weekend everone!
abby

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

yummy maintenance!

HELP!! I have been trying to get the font to a larger size...cannot get it to save to a larger size..can anyone help?? please! and Thanks!

WHEW..it is hot here..and got much hotter than just the normal temperature this afternoon. Today was maintenance day for us...it is not on the same day each week, but it DOES happen weekly. When we first started maintenance i was doubful about it actually working out every week. But i should have known, if Master says weekly, He means weekly! We both agree it is a good thing, and has kept me calmer and more focused.
So today was maitenance day, and i was looking forward to it. If i do say so myself i have been very good lately. Master also commented on it this afternoon. Maintenance has always been with one of Master's small paddles. Today He kindly started with His hand, and lots of rubbing...i was soon sooo relaxed.
Then came the paddle, but i was ready, and although the sting was there,,it was a good sting with lots of rubbing. Master asked why i have been leaving out the juicy part of our meetings..so here goes.
Unless it is a punishment spanking, Master usually "checks" to see how much i am enjoying or responding to His spanking and rubbing. This afternoon it did not take me long to be wet and ready! Since He was so impressed by my recent behaviour, He showed me how much fun maintenance can be!
Master likes to tease me that back when we were new at this, i used to beg Him to stop after one orgasm, saying one was enough! Now one is usually just a warm-up, i was "jello" after 3 this afternoon! Now that is my kind of maintenance!
abby

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Labels....

August 3, 2010

I was going to post on rituals and protocals today...but then i read Swan's post this morning, and she addressed something that has bothered me. So, being a woman, it is ok to change my mind...(sometimes Master).
During my life and my teaching career, one thing i have become convinced of is that labels are only reliable when they are on cans in your kitchen pantry! If the label says peas..and there is a picture of peas, you can be pretty sure there are peas in that can.
When i first started searching the terms power exchange, spanking, and BDSM i came across lots of labels. It did not take me long to realize, that the labels only confused me. Slave, submissive, owned, property, bottom, spankee, etc.......then there is the other side of the coin, Master, Sir, Owner, Top, Spanker, Domme, Mistress, etc...YIKES!!!!!!!! To my disappointment, it seemed that many thought their definition of these terms was the only correct one.
I read quite a few blogs, some i read and think..wow as a slave she/he acts a lot like i do....or..wow as a submissvie, that person seems more like a slave to me. Operative words being TO ME. I refer to myself as a submissive, why?? Because that is what my Master has decided. On this blog i refer to Him as Master..not so much in real life, mostly Sir, when He needs a title..that also was decided by Him.
What do those terms mean? They mean whatever Master...and occasionally i ....decide they mean! They work for us! Thanks to a very patient Master, i feel i make a pretty good submissive, and would probably make a lousy slave...according to my definition of a slave. I have fantasized of slavery, and it might be fun for 24 hours, or a weekend, but not day to day...
Labels are used to help us understand each other...but first we must understand the meaning of the label. There is no one definition for submissive, or for any of the other power exchange labels. There is no right or wrong definition. They are defined by the people who choose to wear them.
Enough of this pet peeve of mine. One last thank you to Swan...who concludes her post with she is His......that i like....i am His...that is enough!
abby

Sunday, August 1, 2010

a look back...Master's bag

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend...mine has been on the quiet side...not complaining one bit! This is a look back to about our third or fourth meeting, when Master showed up with His toy bag!
Our early meetings were all hand spankings, I had been introduced to some role play, which added to the fun. I loved the spontaneity, and was impressed that Master was never at a loss for words.
This time Master...who was still far frm being my Master...showed up carrying a baseball equipment bag..it looked full and heavy! He greeted me and said "I thought I would bring along some toys". I replied something about trying not to notice.
He had me bend over the back of the sofa..a new position..and told me not to peak. I bent, but I also did lots of peaking!
At our first meeting I had said I was fearful of leather, and thought I would prefer wood. So, He started out with His wooden toys. He only gave me 5 or so with each one, and althought not taps, He was being fairly easy, but there was still a build up.
Then came the leather. I remember holding my breath and waiting. The large leather flogger, i was apprenhisve. Oh boy, was I ever wrong....leather could be the best! I became totally relaxed and wanted more! He chuckled..and went on to His other leather paddles and belts. Hmmmm.....leather was quickly becoming very appealing!
Finally He said He had one more thing He wanted to introduce me to, and definately did not want me to peak. I was good, and soon was wondering what He was using, after a couple swishes, i figured out it was the cane. He went lightly, and said it was a love/hate kind of thing for many spankees. He finished off with a nice had spanking, and told me how proud of me He was. I was pretty proud of myself!
Today , I am a full leather convert! The large leather flogger is always at the top of my request list. It relaxes me, and pushes out all the knots and aggravations, and lulls me to a much better place. A short while ago, Master acquired a horse hair flogger, it is one of the few toys that i seem to enjoy on my breast. It is not as good as the large flogger, but when i get a chance to make requests it also is always on the list.
As for wood....not my favorite! Master has acquired a few more paddles..each one seemingly larger and heavier...never on my request list! The cane..well I have developed a love/hate relationship with it. Its sting is unique, and when Master is trying to please me....I can go with it and enjoy..but not always. One of the canes benefits is that the stripes last a day or two!
We have come a long way since then, to places I never imagined were possible for me.....Thank You Master!
abby